This Week In Tabloids: Mary-Kate Olsen, Miley Cyrus, Nicole Kidman, and Gwen Stefani Are Pregnant 

Welcome to Midweek Madness, where we discover a new magazine store within walking distance of our office (the old one was several stops away on a very annoying train), enter it, notice the magazines are all old, ask the friendly old man if this week’s tabs have come in, are told they’re in the back, and follow him to…

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Très Chic Mary-Kate Olsen Married a French Banker and Passed Out Cigarettes at the Reception 

Former child star and urban witch, Mary-Kate Olsen married Olivier Sarkozy (the half-brother of Nicolas Sarkozy), a French banker nearly twenty years her senior. This sentence was already perfect, nothing less than a greying French banker for either of the Olsen twins, but it gets better. According to reports, the…

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