• According to Radar Online, Tiger Woods has agreed to pay alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel "more than one million but less than three million" to keep her from sharing the details of their relationship with the public. [RadarOnline]

• Yet the reported payoff might not be enough to stop the embarrassing tabloid stories from popping up: a friend of Uchitel is now claiming that Woods had dreams about Uchitel with other famous men, writing such things as "I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f—ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that." [USWeekly]
• Meanwhile, a fourth alleged mistress of Woods, a VIP cocktail waitress who claims she had an affair with Woods back in 2004, has "lawyered up." [TMZ]
• Amy Adams and her fiance, Darren Legallo, have announced that they are expecting their first child. Congrats! [People]
• Naomi Campbell has hired a bodyguard to accompany her in Miami due to an "aggressive female stalker" who has given her trouble in the past. [PageSix]
• Rihanna hit up a NYC club on Thursday night and preferred to party with her girlfriends: "Rihanna was having a great time," says a source, "She danced until 4 a.m. in a skintight dress. She drank champagne and vodka. While every guy in the room wanted to get to her, she only stuck with her girlfriends. They even went to the bathroom together. She insisted on arriving and leaving through the back door — alone." [PageSix]
• ABC has apparently forgiven Adam Lambert: he's been booked to perform on The View December 10. [TMZ]
• "Brad and I have three magnificent children and we look forward to raising them. We say we are going to be a family that lives in two different houses. There are challenges, but I think it will be a good year."-Jane Kaczmarek on her divorce from Bradley Whitford [People]
• Helen Mirren says that though things have improved for women in Hollywood since she started out, there's still quite a ways to go: "It has not gone nearly far enough... I want to see more women behind the camera," she noted while picking up her Women In Film lifetime achievement award, "We have great women working in this industry. Let's celebrate them with this award." [Mirror]
• "Opening that center is one of my greatest achievements because it's something I've always wanted to do for other women. It's part of the charitable organization I co-founded with Steve Stoute in 2008, Foundation for the Advancement of Women Now. Our initiative is to educate, encourage and empower women. Yonkers is where I grew up and saw women destroyed, both physically and mentally. So this center is beautiful for me because maybe those women's children or their children's children can go there and get help. I'm hoping to see FFAWN and Mary J. Blige Centers all over the world. Outside of music, that's probably the one thing to which I will devote a lot of my time."- Mary J. Blige, on opening the Mary J. Blige Center for Women [Reuters]
• Miley Cyrus was turned away at an over-21 club on Wednesday night because she's well, not over 21. [TMZ]
• A truck carrying roughly 50-75 dresses for Victoria Beckham's new fashion line, worth approximately £350,000, was robbed last night at knife-point in London. "This operation was meticulously planned. The thieves must feel they can make a fortune selling the collection on the black market," says a source, "Victoria was informed straight away about the incident and was shocked and deeply saddened, although her first priority was the well-being of the driver." The dresses were eventually supposed to be delivered to Neiman-Marcus in New York City.[DailyMail]
• Morgan Freeman, who began taking flying lessons in 2002 and now has a pilot's license, is going to christen his new private jet with a trip around the world. [DailyExpress]
• Jake Gyllenhaal's mother, screenwriter Naomi Foner, would really like to see him play Danny Kaye in a film. "(We'd watch) Five Pennies, The Court Jester and Hans Christian Anderson," Gyllenhaal says, "My mother was a big Danny Kaye fan and would always play me these movies. She is, in fact, the person who always calls me up and is like, 'You should redo The Court Jester!'" [DailyExpress]
• Katie Holmes eats french fries, world apparently stops turning. [DailyMail]
• "To me it's strange that, you know, my sister calls me a weirdo. I love my sister, we get along, but I'm the weirdo? I'm the one that's weird? You buy a magazine with pictures of celebrities' children in them so you can read about children in magazines, and I'm the fucking weirdo?"-Zach Galifianakis [Guardian]
• Sienna Miller and Jude Law were spotted leaving Law's apartment minutes apart last night, which means they may be back together. Alternately, it means absolutely nothing. [DailyMail]
• "Elton lives on that. He will not be happy until I bang on his door in the middle of the night saying, 'Please, please, help me, Elton. Take me to rehab.' It's not going to happen. Elton just needs to shut his mouth and get on with his own life. Look, if people choose to believe that I'm sitting here in my ivory tower, Howard Hughesing myself with long fingernails and loads of drugs, then I can't do anything about that, can I? People want to see me as tragic with all the cottaging and drug-taking... those things are not what most people aspire to, and I think it removes people's envy to see your weaknesses. I don't even see them as weaknesses any more. It's just who I am."-George Michael, on his drug use. [DailyMail]
• Michael Keaton says he has two of his Batsuits from his days playing Batman for Tim Burton, but he's afraid they might be falling apart: "One is in storage. Sometimes I think, I know I'm going to go there and rats will have eaten it and I am going to go 'No!'. They are going to be worth a lot of money." [DailyExpress]
• "Yeah, we were mates. God, that was so cool. It was the saving grace. Because it got a bit sticky after the Beatles. No, we were really good mates again - it was lovely, actually."- Paul McCartney, on his relationship with John Lennon before Lennon's death. [TimesOnline]
• Nicolas Cage was presented with the U.N. Correspondents Association's Global Citizen of the Year award last night and named a UN Goodwill Ambassador in honor of his commitment to humanitarian work. [Yahoo]
• Jessica Simpson has "completely fallen" for Billy Corgan and wants to "take things a lot further." In related news, my brain has just melted all over my keyboard and my copy of Siamese Dream just spontaneously combusted in the corner of the room. [JustJared]

The biggest misstep of the night was obviously Jennifer Lopez falling on her butt during her performance of her new song "Louboutins." Ironically, she wasn't in her Louboutins when she fell. (She changed into them later.)

Janet opened the evening with a medley of her greatest hits, and she did the "If" dance!

Then Paula Abdul came out to welcome everyone to the awards. But her mic wasn't on. Poor Paula. (She still sounds drunk to me.)

Rihanna's performance was kind of boring, although her costume did have lasers on it.

But Lady GaGa upstaged her and everyone else.

Still, the Queen of Hip-Hop Soul can't be outdone when it comes to facial expressions.

Whitney won International Artist of the Year, and she brought the house down.

She made Reba cry.

Bobbi Kris was proud.

I'm glad we have Whitney back to her old sweaty self.

• Roman Polanski's lawyer, Herme Temime, says a "very, very significant" cash bail offer will be made to Swiss authorities on Monday, and that Polanski will accept "whatever" extradition decision is made, as Polanski wouldn't behave "like a fugitive." [AP]

• TMZ recently acquired a copy of a book Richard Heene wrote in 1994 titled "The Official Offensive Driving Handbook," which includes references to "Towelheads" and "Orientals" and a picture of Heene on the toilet. [TMZ]
• In more irritating reality dad news: Michael Lohan says his friendship with Jon Gosselin is over after Jon became "secretive and distant." [Radar]
• Meanwhile, Dina and Lindsay Lohan are teaming up to fight back against Michael Lohan and his plans to take control of Lindsay's life. Says Dina: "He is hurting Lindsay. It breaks my heart. She's like, 'Mommy, when is he ever going to stop?' He is also six months behind in his child support. On Monday, we will file a violation order, and if he doesn't pay, he'll go to jail." [PageSix]
• Lindsay, meanwhile, has taken to her Twitter account to share her feelings on her father: "My father is a lunatic and doesn't even deserve such a title since he's never been around in my life other than when he'd threaten me and my family. He should be where he has always put himself after verbally abusing and physically abusing people all my life-behind bars. Its so sad to get a phone call from my baby sister just now asking, ‘Why is daddy doing this?' Through tears. He's crossed the line and hurt me and my family for the the last time." [JustJared]
• "Everyone in the '70s was stoned in order to get onstage, but I was afraid of drugs . . . Now I've grown to love them."-Carly Simon [PageSix]
• Michael Jackson's This Is It won the Friday box office with $7.9 million in ticket sales. [EW]
• Adam Lambert and his boyfriend, Drake LaBry have broken up, says a source: ""The relationship just ran its course. The break-up was mutual and amicable. They remain friends and still care for each other." [JustJared]
• Paris Hilton feels "very, very violated" after her house was broken into. [People]
• "There was one time I went for a meeting for this big movie and I was up for a character who wasn't written as black. The character was a college graduate and the studio head, a woman, said, 'How can we make this role more black if we are going to have you in the film?' And I said, 'Well, I think as it's written it's fine...' And she said, 'Yeah, I know, but she is a graduate, she has been to university.' So I said, 'I've been to university.' And then it was, 'Yeah, but you're different.' I wasn't offended. It's just nonsense. But no, I didn't do the film." - Thandie Newton [DailyMail]
• Bob Marley's family has hired a company to help them protect the rights to Marley's image; counterfeit Marley products currently bring in approximately $600 billion per year. [AP]
• Christina Aguilera says she doesn't deprive herself of the food she loves and tries to keep things balanced with exercise: "I make healthy choices when I can, because it's very important for me to have moments where I can let go, have a great dinner and not care so much about the carbs. I work out five days a week – and I hate working out in the moment, I truly do. But the aftermath is so great, and it helps you feel good – not only physically, but mentally." [DailyMail]
• People of the world! The Spice Girls are set to open the 2012 Olympics in London. [Mirror]
• Ethan Hawke has only positive things to say about Madonna after she spoke out against Gypsy discrimination in Romania: "She transcended being a pop star. She drew international attention and shone the spotlight on a level of racism and the need for greater education." [Yahoo]
• "I see life in colors. When I'm depressed, and going through something, it's in black and white. The flowers are not yellow."-Mary J. Blige, explaining the lyrics to her song for the Precious soundtrack, "I Can See In Color." [LATimes]
• Elton John has been sent to the hospital due to "flu with complications." [DailyMail]
• Elizabeth Hurley says motherhood made her more aware of the dark side of the paparazzi: "‘I would be bursting into tears and just be so angry. There is something about motherhood that makes you very protective of anyone coming too near your child, and the paparazzi did things like take pictures of him nude on the beach and put them online. It was disgusting, disgraceful." [DailyMail]
• Robert Pattinson was so nervous before his Twilight audition that he had to medicate himself before performing: "I took a quarter of a Valium for the first time – and it worked. But when I tried another Valium before another audition, it backfired and I passed out." [Telegraph]
• "Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and I are all close in different ways and we've all been together now forever. It's hard to describe what it's like to be able to have gone through the crazy, crazy journey that is Sex And The City together. There is no one else we could turn to and talk about "remember when". We have years of crazy experiences together. And you can't recreate that with anybody, you can't even pull anybody else into it."- Kristen Davis [Mirror]
• Ryan Seacrest let his fans know that he was "fine...happy" via Twitter after his alleged stalker, Chidi Uzomah was arrested last week. [People]
• "You know, my mother – who was an opera singer – used to use the term as a compliment; it meant a very talented singer. But I looked it up in the dictionary recently and now it also means a difficult and demanding woman. I guess people like to put you in a little box, and that box fits me because I have the big hair, and I wear the tight dresses on stage. But that doesn't mean I'm difficult or nasty."-Mariah Carey, on the word "diva." [Mirror]
• Michael Buble says his breakup with Emily Blunt was "one of the worst and greatest things that ever happened to me. I've learned a lot, I've become a lot more introspective. I've taken the time to get to know myself and to like myself and to respect myself." [DailyExpress]
• "I regret trying to kill Sharon. It wasn't my plan to go out, get p*ssed, try to strangle her and wake up in jail. My best moment was being successful on my own after Black Sabbath. And having my kids. And getting sober."- Ozzy Osbourne [Mirror]

• Is Sean Penn the unofficial liaison between Barack Obama and Hugo Chavez? Penn visited Chavez in Caracas on Wednesday and apparently the Venezuelan president told him:

"They gave [Obama] the Nobel Prize — very well, now he should earn it." [Page Six]

• Britney Spears is using Twitter, Twitpic and Twitvid to promote her new single, "3" — there's a micro snippet of the video at the link. [LA Times]
• Ashton Kutcher's best friend is a rabbi named Yehuda Berg from the Kabbalah center. [People]
• Who will host the Oscars in 2010? Hugh Jackman has turned the job down. These are random choices, but I'd love to see Amy Poehler or Wanda Sykes. Or both. [Variety]
• Nanny Stephanie Santoro says that Jon Gosselin was suicidal at the thought of Hailey Glassman breaking up with him: "He said he was going to kill himself… He said he was going to end it all … he couldn't handle it anymore." Breakdown in 3…2… [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin plans to publicly apologize "in a sacred space to those whom I have hurt" at the West Side Synagogue in NYC on Sunday. [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, word is that Jon Gosselin/Nadya Suleman show is "definitely on." A source says:"Both Jon and Nadya are each looking at bringing in close to $1 million for doing it." [Gatecrasher]
• Did you see Derek Jeter kiss Michelle Obama the other night? [NY Post]
• Another day, another Michael Jackson money problem. This time it's Leonard Rowe, who says he was MJ's manager of the singer. He's filed a creditors claim for $51,218. [TMZ]
• Wow, John Landis — who directed the "Thriller" video — says Michael Jackson's estate owes him for $400,000; a production company which dealt with the "Thriller" video says it's owed more than $1,000,000; and the producer of the "Thriller" video wants more than a million as well. [TMZ]
• By the by, the Michael Jackson movie will be up for Academy Award consideration. [Mirror]
• Joe Jackson says Michael Jackson is "worth more dead than when he was alive." [NY Post]
• Taylor Squared: Going strong. [Page Six]
• Wait, what? Ne-Yo sings on The Princess And The Frog soundtrack? How very Jazz Age New Orleans. [ONTD]
• Amanda Peet was burglarized by a sassy character. [Page Six]
• Heroes is winding down; low ratings has NBC thinking a "final chapter" is the next way to go. [NY Post]
• Charlize Theron will star in Mad Max: Fury Road. That's right, a new Mad Max flick! No word on whether Mel Gibson is involved, but Brit cutie Tom Hardy is in the flick. [Variety]
• Reese Witherspoon will star in and produce a screenplay called Rule #1 — about a New York woman who befriends a Puerto Rican girl with attention deficit disorder. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• What the world needs now: Men In Black 3. [Reuters]
• David Spade got $200,000 for that Tommy Boy DirecTV commercial with the late Chris Farley. [Page Six]
• Sad face: Dennis Hopper has prostate cancer. He's canceling all travel plans to focus on treatment and is in a "special program" at USC. Be well! [AP]
• Jackie Collins listens to Mariah Carey, John Mayer… and Jay-Z. [Independent]
• "Whenever I'm in the recording studio or rehearsing and I'm not convinced about the way it sounds, I know because my body doesn't react to the music. So I always ask, Hey, am I moving? Are my hips moving? My hips don't lie." — One of 10 answers to 10 questions for Shakira. [Time]
• "I know it gets sensationalized when I say, 'I was very close to death', but I was. It was a scary time. It's scarier since people like Michael Jackson and Heath Ledger have been popping their clogs. pretty much thought 'Is this worth it?' It was obviously not making me happy. The definition of insanity is repeating the same things and expecting a different result. At the time I thought, with the kicking and the rehab, maybe there's other things in life?" — Robbie Williams. [News.com.au]
• "I haven't gone back since because I'm afraid… I'd never get sober for one thing, and to have to run around in a dress. . . it's cold up there!" — Mel Gibson on why he hasn't returned to Scotland since Braveheart. [Daily Mail]
• "When I did my first album, I was marketed as the singer who would appeal to your grandma. But as each record arrived with more power and confidence, I began to sound younger and younger. Some singers start out as young punks and then make a classics album later in their career. With me, it has been the other way round. I feel as if I've finally started acting my own age. I'm the Benjamin Button of pop. It offends me when people think I only listen to Frank Sinatra. I was born in 1975 and I never wanted to be part of the Rat Pack. As a kid, my biggest idol was Michael Jackson. As a teenager, I wanted to be one of the Beastie Boys." — MIchael Bublé. [Daily Mail]
• "I always felt like the male from the time I was a child. There wasn't much feminine about me. I believe that gender is something between your ears, not between your legs. That is something I discovered in the early '90s. It was just a long process of being comfortable enough to do something about it." — Chaz Bono loves being a man. [People]
• "I was tempted to do it. But I couldn't take it. One smoke of pot and I fall asleep. I don't get much out of it. But that's beside the point. My kids were saying, 'Daddy, you have to try!' That's when I shut down. These were mushrooms ... I said, 'Listen, I didn't go through a sex change operation to direct all these women's movies so don't get me started.'" — Ang Lee wouldn't take acid to direct an LSD scene. [Independent]
• "I just drank an iced tea here with lunch. If next year they say iced tea is worse than steroids, I'll probably quit drinking that too. But at the time it was legal, just like drinking an iced tea is legal. The baseball players, the football players, the hockey players - everybody I knew in every professional sport was using it to up their game, or to heal injuries, or to stay at their peak. And everybody thought it was safe." — Hulk Hogan talks about steroid use in his new book. [Time]
• "I hate them!" — Paris Hilton on the Teen Thieves, who stole clothes and jewelry from her home. [Page Six]
• "I have lots of original ideas that maybe will get made. But everyone... Even if you bring them the most obscure movie that nobody's ever heard of — they want to remake that." — Rob Zombie, who reworked Halloween and Halloween 2 and may remake The Blob, calls Hollywood a "scared town." [CNN]
• "America's the only country where people have said that the New Zealand accent sounds posh or sexy or exotic. Anywhere else, it doesn't. That's why I've been spending a lot of time here." — Flight Of The Conchords' Jemaine Clement. [NY Post]
• "As the mother of my kids, I won't slam Dina personally. But she has expressed to me that Lindsay is in dire, dire need of an intervention. And Lindsay needs to see that her mother is either lying to me or lying to her. Dina says positive things about Samantha when she's talking to Lindsay, but then when Dina talks to me, she blames Lindsay's downfall on the Ronsons. If Dina and her cohorts want to continue lying, I could [keep exposing her] for a year - on so many different subjects. My lawyers told me to keep every single conversation - and I did." — Michael Lohan is taking voicemail tapes to Entertainment Tonight. [Perez]
• "If I go back to my black neighborhood, they'll rob the [bleep] out of me." — Tracy Morgan, promoting his memoir, I Am the New Black, at Barnes & Noble. [Page Six]
• "I always felt that I wanted to help women, period. As a child I [saw] women really, really suffer terrible, terrible situations, and I vowed as a child to want to do something — anything — that can help them have better self-esteem so that they don't have to be subjected to men that wanted to kill them. In my music, that's what I've been doing in my career, and now through FFAWN I'm doing that. I guess what got me through when I was young was something I guess a lot of people don't have and that was just the will. ... I don't know what was driving me. I guess it was something in me did want to die — you know, I guess my spirit didn't want to die, but my physical body definitely was at some point was like I gotta get out of here. ... My physical body was contemplating suicide and all this other crazy stuff, and my spirit is what saved me, I believe." — Mary J. Blige, at the official ribbon-cutting for the Mary J. Blige Center for Women, which was made possible through Blige's Foundation for the Advancement of Women Now (FFAWN), design house Gucci and Westchester Jewish Community Services. [CNN]

• Texas gal Renée Zellweger will spend the holidays in Philadelphia with Bradley Cooper's parents. Sounds like the plot of a romcom. But it's real! [NY Daily News]

• Award season has begun! Precious star Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe and Hilary Swank both won Hollywood Awards (given by the Hollywood Film Festival) last night. [AP]
• The father of one of the teenaged girls arrested in the Lindsay Lohan burglary case says that his daughter "was in the wrong place at the wrong time, associating with the wrong people." [People]
• In this story about the teen burglars, attorney Blair Berk, who represents some of the victims, blames "paparazzi shots and magazine coverage" for "increasingly prying into the private homes, schools and personal possessions of stars. Another lawyer says: "It would be fun to do capers. It was all about fun. It was one of those cases of you get bored, and it was something to do with a little technology." The young women arrested were classmates at Indian Hills High School, which is "set atop a leafy incline in an upscale neighborhood" where there are BMWs and Audis parked in the student lot, and nearby roads have horse trails for equestrians. Seriously, people: This is a screenplay waiting to happen. [LA Times]
• Congrats to Jennifer Esposito and tennis player Mark Philippoussis, who are engaged. Did you know they were dating? [People]
• BREAKING: Madonna planted a tree. [NY Daily News]
• Hugh Jackman's four-year-old daughter wants to be a chocolate chip muffin for Halloween. His nine-year-old son wants to be Al Capone. And Hugh? "I'm going as James Bond," he says. [NY Magazine]
• Sources say Balloon Mom Mayumi Heene may have confessed to the hoax to keep her children from being taken away from her, or to spare them from having to testify against her husband. [CBS News]
• The Balloon Boy case has been handed to the District Attorney's Office, and the DA has requested more information before making a charging decision. [TMZ]
• Heartbreaking: La Toya Jackson says that Paris Jackson is dealing well with her father's death ("Paris thinks and talks about her father all the time… She's doing very well, writes a lot and she wears his shirts every day. They still smell of him and it helps her feel close to him."), but Prince Jackson "just doesn't want to speak about it" and Blanket is "just a very sad little boy" who cries and cries. Luckily, La Toya says, "They all go to therapy." [MSNBC via Daily Mirror]
• The woman accused of stalking Justin Timberlake has already been served with a restraining order from Metallica and was sentenced to a year in prison for violating a court order to stay away from Axl Rose. [TMZ]
• Henry Ian Cusick, aka Desmond on Lost, has settled a sexual harassment suit with a former production staffer whom he allegedly grabbed and touched inappropriately. [TMZ]
• Bill Cosby was honored with the 12th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor last night, and stars like Phylicia Rashad, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Jerry Seinfeld, Sinbad, Chris Rock and Willie Nelson were in attendance. [USA Today]
• Suzanne Somers has a new book in which she reveals she was misdiagnosed with "full-body cancer." Her book promotes alternative medicine and avoiding chemotherapy; she says: "It's easier to try the traditional route and then, if it fails, go to the alternatives, but often it can be too late. My friend Farrah Fawcett— would she have made it if she had gone alternative first? There is no way of knowing." [NY Daily News]
• Egads. The Anna Nicole Smith trial is still going on. An expert psychiatrist has testified that Anna was an addict. [NY Post]
• Alec Baldwin knows how to spell. [Page Six]
• Black people on Gossip Girl? What is the world coming to? [Page Six]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have "romantic" new tattoos. [People]
• Uh-oh: Mel Gibson's pregnant girlfriend is refusing to sign a pre-nup. [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Some guy sniffed Pamela Anderson's underwear. [The Sun]
• This Mary J. Blige track from the Precious soundtrack is powerful, sad. [The Life Files]
• It's been 25 years since U2 released The Unforgettable Fire. It was recorded at an Irish castle; producer Danny Lanois says: "Bono was looking for a different kind of location, a building that had ghosts in the walls and some kind of a sense of history… So that we weren't just in an empty modern warehouse, that we were actually feeling the presence of goings-on from the past." [Reuters]
• Eric Clapton has pulled out of a Rock and Roll Hall concert to have gallstones removed. [AP]
• Bruce Springsteen has canceled a show in Kansas City after his cousin — who was a roadie — was found dead in a hotel room. [USA Today]
• After his stint on Dancing With The Stars, next Tom DeLay plans to be an "expert" on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "You owe it to yourselves and your loved ones to see this again and again. Memorize it and say to yourselves, 'I saw genius in my lifetime.'" — One of Liz Taylor's 20 Tweets about the Michael Jackson movie This Is It. [CNN]
• "I've been on the road for pretty much five years now and I'm tired. I've kind of written about everything that has happened in my life for the past 10 years so I think I need to live some more before I start writing more." — Lily Allen, on quitting the record biz. She also says she might do musicals in London's West End: "It hasn't been confirmed yet but I'm keeping my options open." [Telegraph]
• "Reading about somebody else's tough experiences of being a mother, you're suddenly like, ‘My God, I've got a kid and I don't have time to read this. I've got to go do it.' There's no time. If he's sleeping I'm trying to sleep and when you're breast-feeding you're the milk machine. There's no time to pick up the guitar, much less go for a walk or have a beer. The first year of Henry's life has been just an insane earthquake for me… I waited a long time to have children because I had this career that was kind of like my kid, it required as much nurturing. There's no amount of hassle that could be bigger than my love of Henry." — Minnie Driver doesn't have time to read parenting blogs. [Daily Express]

• Marisa Miller has earned the most coveted position of all the Victoria's Secret runway girls: Wearer Of The Diamond-Studded Bra. Her equipment costs $3 million. "It's surprisingly comfortable," says Miller. Sure looks it. [People]

• Sir Paul Smith would love it "if fashion shows died out completely." The 63-year-old British designer explains, shows are "pure, self-indulgent theatre. How many girls were there this year in horns or neck braces with bare breasts? It wouldn't matter if they didn't take it all so seriously, but the fashion world is a dangerous, superficial and fickle place." [Telegraph]
• Although the press sometimes jumps all over Anna Wintour for repeating her outfits, it's something she does all the time, and will continue to do, because who wears clothes once, for God's sake? "I usually wear the same dress twenty times. I think it's always fun to have something new, but it doesn't mean that everything you already have in your closet has to be thrown out, you know? Recycle." [The Cut]
• The USAToday and W did the hard work of "parsing" Amelia Earhart's style. You know her, she's that woman famous for...wearing pants. [USAToday]
• Donatella Versace tells a Vogue reader who says she would buy clothes in larger sizes, if Versace made them, that "I certainly wouldn't want to do a plus-size line, as I have no problem with women of any size wearing my clothes. I guess some styles lend themselves to being scaled up, while some others just don't work." Versace's own daughter, Allegra, has struggled with anorexia. [Style.com]
• Donatella hosted a party for the Whitney, and a lot of celebrities came. (Since when are Lindsay Lohan and Taylor Momsen "just-wanna-have-fun blondes"?) Also in attendance at what was, you know, an art benefit were Chuck Close and Ellsworth Kelly. [Style.com]
• Meanwhile, that equally tanned and fashionable Italian female, Gucci creative director Frida Giannini, is headed to Yonkers today to cut the ribbon with Mary J. Blige on something called the Mary J. Blige Center for Women. [P6]
• Somebody should tell Mark Ronson that what he has designed for Gucci is not in fact a sneaker, but a boat shoe. The eyelets give it away. [Hypebeast]
• Karl Lagerfeld is heading to Argentina. Lest you think it's to enjoy some steak and a nice Malbec, know this: "I only go to places if I have a professional reason. I'm not a tourist." He'll be shooting Freja Beha Erichsen, Baptiste GIabiconi, and Claudia Schiffer in the next Chanel campaign — what, no Lara Stone? — and researching a book about Argentine architecture. [WWD]
• London Fog's holiday ad campaign features Tony Parker and Eva Longoria. There's got to be a Mad Men joke here somewhere. [People]
• Meanwhile, John Galliano himself has revealed that the spring Dior campaign will star Karlie Kloss. [WWD]
• Grace Kelly and Cartier are each getting stars on the Walk of Style on Rodeo Drive in Los Angeles. [HoustonChronicle]
• Angelina Jolie is apparently in talks with Ridley Scott to star in a film about the 1995 murder of Maurizio Gucci. [Variety]
• Tom Ford, the man Maurizio had hired to revitalize the brand, says he will do women's wear again. Just as soon as he can get financing. [WWD]
• The Times' Critical Shopper, Cintra Wilson, went to Ann Taylor. She didn't expect to like it, but then: "Clothing companies, when they panic, tend to go rococo. They get flashier, busier and more disposable by slapping on bigger logos and more useless bows and frippery. Ann Taylor must be commended for choosing less clutter and better details that aren't always: the finished seams inside a little faille opera jacket; the velvet ribbon inside the waist of a peplum coat; the Italian three-season wool." [NYTimes]
• Iconix Brand Group, the company behind everything from Candie's to Badgley Mischka, has been fined $250,000 by the Federal Trade Commission for violating certain provisions of the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act when it collected information during some of its promotions last year. [Crain's]
• Burberry is suing the U.K.-based pet supply store Pets At Home for using a checked fabric the company says is too similar to its own. Pets At Home, which has 250 stores, has pulled the offending products, but the dispute is ongoing. Burberry creative director Christopher Bailey told the New Yorker earlier this year about suing a pet store that advertised a dog cushion "in the famous Burberry check." [Guardian]
• Maybe the answer is that Burberry should make like Mulberry, and do its own line of pet clothes. [FWD]
• More details about the city's planned fashion incubator in the garment district have emerged: New York will subsidize 12 slots in a 10,000 sq. ft. space, reducing the rent from $2,900 to $1,500 a month. The designers, who are being selected right now, will also have access to mentoring and support from the Council of Fashion Designers of America. It's not for students fresh out of school: every designer must have already been in business for at least a year, and employ a staff (even if that staff is volunteer). What a wonderful use for a vacant showroom floor. [NYTimes]
  
• Australian denim brand Ksubi is going to do a lower-priced line with the department store David Jones. And possibly another one with Topshop. [Sassybella]
• Anhropologie is extending its reach across the Atlantic. Its first European store opens on Friday in London. [WWD]

There are only three words to describe Padma Lakshmi: red hot mama.


As you know, I find this whole random-peekaboo trend rather tiresome. But man is Halle working it!


And speaking of which: who could work this good-witch fantasia like Iman?


Gotta say it: on occasiona, Grenier cleans up well. And I mean "cleans up" literally.


Hey, Mary J never said she cared about keeping a a reptile alive!


Gayle King: apparently highly influenced by that 'Mad Men'-themed Oprah! What say you?


Luck be a lady tonight.


Estelle takes the whole "Rescue" element literally and channels a sinister leather-clad girl scout.


Love Kerry Washington, love "Ascot Gavotte" - so what's not to adore?

[Images via Getty]

Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe's plum-colored gown has questionable sleeves, but she looks happy and comfortable.

IMdB tells me that Chyna Layne was in Cadillac Records and something called STD: Sexually Transmitted Demons. Her one-sleeved gown is not for wallflowers! It kind of looks like wallpaper, but I love the color, and the large bow on one side reminds me of the Baroness in The Sound Of Music.

Sherri Shepherd looks fantastic, though I think she'd benefit from a more open neckline.

71-year-old Jane Fonda appears to be wearing LEATHER PANTS. And looking fierce while doing so.

Harvey Keitel's glasses = Awesome.

Precious actress Xosha Roquemore looks adorable in this little strapless number.

Paula Patton is stunning, and I dig her interesting LGD — little gray dress — but the booties just aren't right.

Mariah Carey shows off her hourglass figure in what seems to be a long-sleeved American Apparel tee.

Mariah's husband Nick Cannon: Dapper.

Steve Buscemi and date: Charmingly rumpled.

I can't decide if Oprah's BFF Gayle King looks casually elegant, needs a shorter hem, or both.

You've gotta love the rock 'n roll nonchalance Lenny and Zoe Kravitz bring to the red carpet. Everything's a little bit off, yet it all works somehow.

I love that line in Mary J. Blige's The One" where she sings, "I ain't saying that I'm the best; but I'm the best." The lady looks amazing. You are the best, Mary!

[Images via Getty.]

• Lindsay Lohan will host concerts coinciding with the Singapore Grand Prix this weekend because Nicole Scherzinger had to cancel. Linds says she's qualified because, "I studied NASCAR for almost a year for Herbie. It was very hot inside those cars..."

• She adds: "I like to drive. I like cars. I like fast cars." When asked about the rumors that she knows Nicholas Prugo, the man arrested for burglarizing her apartment, Lindsay said, "I don't really want to get into the details of that. That's for the detectives to do."[AP]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall are feuding on the set of SATC 2 and refusing to speak to each other. "While the cast is all smiles on the outside, the level of dislike is unbelievable. No-one is having a good time on this shoot," says an insider. "The crew have taken to calling her ‘Carrie Sadshaw'. When she doesn't have to be ‘on' in her scenes, she looks so sad." [Ok]
• "I have great balance and co-ordination," says John Mayer. "Inventiveness. I am a very inventive lover - that's the secret to my success." [The Sun]
• Clive Owen says his new film about fatherhood, The Boys Are Back, is "A different kind of film... Parenting's a big part of my life, so it felt very natural to me." [Style.com]
• Last weekend David Hasselhoff's 17-year-old daughter Hayley called an ambulance because she believed he had alcohol poisoning. He patched thinkgs up by taking her to a lingerie launch party at a sex shop last night. [TMZ]
• In his tell-all memoir Behind the Bell Dustin Diamond claims his Saved By The Bell castmates smoked pot and hooked up. He claims Mark Paul Gosselaar used steroids and "suddenly exploded with manliness, loading 25 pounds of muscle on his once-scrawny frame in, oh, about a month." Gosselaar dismissed the allegations, joking: "We weren't in rehab and Mr. Belding wasn't my crack dealer." [Us]
• MTV will probably air DJ AM's drug-intervention reality show Gone Too Far. A final decision hasn't been made but sources say the network has been talking to his family about airing the show. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Pamela Anderson owes creditors more that $1.2 million after failing to pay various contractors who remodeled her Malibu home last year. [Star]
• Khloe Kardashian met her fiance Lamar Odom on August 27th when she hosted a party at a bar for new Laker Ron Artest and he picked up the $3,000 tab for unknown reasons. [TMZ]
• Today Kirsten Dunst testified against a man charged with stealing her $2,000 Balenciaga bag and $2,000 from a New York City hotel suite while she was on a movie set in August 2007. [AP]
• An arrest warrant has been issued for Randy Quaid and his wife Evi. They have been under investigation for the past week for allegedly stiffing the San Ysidro ranch hotel after running up a $10,000 bill. [Radar Online]
• They are expected to be charged with three felony counts each: Defrauding an innkeeper, conspiracy, and burglary. Bail will be set at $20,000. Sources say they also owe the Hotel Bel-Air $17,000 and stole a Hertz Rent-A-Car. [Radar Online]
• Randy and Evi Quaid were arrested this afternoon. Sources say there was a struggle and Evi had to be wrestled to the ground. [TMZ]
• In his upcoming memoir The Time of My Life, Patrick Swayze reveals that when he first read the script for Dirty Dancing he thought "It seemed fluffy - nothing more than a summer-camp movie." [AP]
• Ashlee Simpson says she's excited that Heather Locklear is guest starring on the new Melrose Place. "We're all really thrilled that Heather is coming back!" she said. "Of course we are - she was kind of the heart of the show. It's been great to have a lot of the original cast, and to have Heather join is really incredible. I'm excited!" [People]
• Sacha Baron Cohen will play a "pretty angry but funny" Israeli tour guide on an episode of The Simpsons that will probably air in March. [News.com.au]
• Whitney Port said MTV is letting her work on her fashion line and have a fashion show on The City while they always made Lauren Conrad hide her real life on The Hills because, "They saw how passionate I was about designing my clothing line and I really told them, 'This is what I want to do - I don't want to work in public relations and what I want to do is design. So please allow me to do this and please show my reality.'" [N.Y. Magazine]
• When Vampire Diaries star Ian Somerhalder was asked if he's worried audiences are suffering from vampire fatigue he said, "Yes. Yes. Yes. But - there is a but - and I think that is that Twilight is a feature, a big franchise. True Blood is HBO. Vampire Diaries is prime-time network. They're all so different as far as their medium. When you're a young teen, you can't sit in a room with your mom and watch True Blood - it would be very uncomfortable for everyone involved. And Twilight you get once a year. This show is every week, and it's fun, it's smart, it's sexy, it's witty, and it's now - and those characteristics slip perfectly into this crazy sort of vampire jigsaw puzzle we all find ourselves looking at. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Is Variety editor Peter Bart trying to stir up a girl fight between Jane Campion and Kathryn Bigelow? The Women & Hollywood blogs asks if this is how he's describe two male directors: "Jane Campion, 55, made a quintessentially romantic picture in Bright Star, but in person she is cerebral, somewhat severe, leans toward post-hippie attire and seems perplexed by the rigors of the award circuit. Kathryn Bigelow, 57, is tall, model thin, a one-time art student whose gracious manner belies her proclivity for tense, even violent films – The Hurt Locker is her contender." [Women & Hollywood]
• Stephen Moyer says when he marries Anna Paquin his dog "Splash, my alpha, will be the ringbearer... My son [Billy, born in 2000] might be unhappy about that." [People]
• Gerard Butler says of his Ugly Truth co-star Katherine Heigl adopting, "She will be an amazing mom... She's incredibly responsible, smart and loving. This is a huge deal for her and she's going to take to it like a duck to water." [People]
• Last night Leonard Cohen performed in Israel for the first time in 30 years. Some Palestinian activists were calling for a boycott of the show. His manager said, "There are a lot of people who don't want us here, and anything done here invites controversy, but we believe freedom of speech is very, very important." [AP]
• Mary J. Blige, who has an adult daughter and two step-children says, "I don't think I'll do foster care or adopt, to be quite honest," at a New York event honoring her for her work with New Yorkers for Children. "I barely have time for my own children. To adopt more children and not have time for them, that [would be] poor parenting on my [part]." [People]
• Drew Barrymore says of her mother, "I believe she will see the film [Whip It]. I believe she does feel pride in me. I used to pull a lot emotionally from all the stuff with my family, but I did not do this movie to cleanse myself of the mother/daughter debacle that happened in my life. I have been much more objective about my childhood and my relationship with my mother in these last few years. I used to be more attached to all that. I won't deny that the baggage was there at one point." [Just Jared]
• "Some days I want nothing more than a brilliant mask so I could look like someone else and go wander the streets and be free," says Drew Barrymore. "I'm very peeved that Halloween only comes once a year." [CNN]
• Rich Sommer, who plays Harry Crane on Mad Men says of last week's episode [spoilers ahead], "When I got the script, I read that foot scene, and I thought it was kind of crazy, and I couldn't really see how it fit in. So I was surprised at how well the episode turned out. I was a little nervous about that scene. For the past few weeks, the writers and the editors have been saying, 'Oh my God, just wait until the lawnmower episode - it's unbelievable! It's unbelievable, it's a great episode,' and I was just like, "Oh, great! Good.' And then I saw it and I was like, "Wow! It is a really good episode." [N.Y. Magazine]

Mary J. lets the color do the talking.


One of you once coined a very good rule of thumb: if you can't describe an outfit in a single sentence, there's generally a problem. Jessica Seinfeld should have taken note.


Jullianna Margulies: a stark twist on the LBD.


Dayssi Kanavo demonstrates that draped ruffles are kind of like conjugating a French verb: if the first one is, the second one isn't. Or, in this case, shouldn't be.


I'm glad that, like me, Joy Bryant appreciates the style of Mrs. Roper. But she's taken it to another level entirely.


If you're going to do disco sparkle, Hilary Rhoda shows how it's done: total glam.


Selita Ebanks' outfit is definitely in my 2009 top ten. I am almost blinded by the beauty.


Tinsley Mortimer demonstrates total socialite confident chic - digging the mini for a gala.


Maggie Rizer does glam 30s society bride - always a good thing!


Paulina Porizkova is skewing a tad Valley of the Dolls, no?


Whereas Thalia is totally Casino!

[Images via Getty]

Mary J. Blige does total class act in elegant basics. Plus, is apparently a guest builder on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition this season.


Mark Ronson looks like a Saturday Night Fever extra.


Alicia Keys' bracelet is very Where the Wild Things Are! Gucci president Daniella Vitale, meanwhile, demonstrates the appropriate length for a tunic worn over leggings.


I'm really wishing we could see all of anchorwoman Alina Cho's frock (with MAC Cosmetices President John Dempsey) but hey, it's getting chilly.


Savannah Brinson (with LeBron James) rocks one of those trends that inexplicably won't die: large-scale houndstooth. That said, the shape is lovely.


I feel like one could see Devon Aoki's shirt on a rack at a thrift store and shudder - yet she looks totally elegant! (Once she and I were at airport security together in London. I was really late, she was on celebrity time.)


Serena Williams (with the natty LeBron)' sleek frock is Last Days of Disco glam! And can I admit that I don't like that movie very much?


Is it still considered "the Regis" if there's no monochromatic tie? Whatever, never my favorite look - along with gratuitous shades - but singer Ryan Leslie still looks pretty sharp.


I hate to break this to singer Jadyn Maria...but she forgot her camisole, and her chain-mail top is see-through. Embarrassing, I know.


Estelle, in a Mary J. - Russell Simmons sandwich, looks as cute and jazzy as ever - even if I'd like to maybe hem her trousers half an inch.

[Images via Getty]

Fringe and patterns make for island-y vibes. For me, this doesn't say "spring" as much as it does "hot summer concert in the park." Which is not a bad thing!

Love, love, love seeing black models! The one sitting down is like, "Where is that cappuccino I ordered 10 minutes ago?" The graphic black and white dress in the back might be amazing, but it's hard to tell.

This reminds me so much of Anjelica Huston's character in The Life Aquatic WIth Steve Zissou: The elegant ex-pat island dweller with enormous statement jewelry. I long to be her.

Yes on the crocheted cropped jacket; no on the crotch of the pants on the left.

Hey look, it's Mary J. Blige! Catherine Malandrino, right, must have walked her through the show.

That berry-colored dress is ridiculously cute and made for dancing all night on the beach; the turquoise top in the back on the right is probably pretty great, too.

Although this is also very Anjelica Huston in Life Aquatic, it also reminded me of the maharajah in Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom.

I really do love that Malandrino's playing with proportion: The teeny jacket, with a jumpsuit that goes from being voluminous to skinny. But there's only one person this looks good on, and she is wearing it. Also: These three women would make a badass motorcycle gang.

Aloha, ladies! Gorgeous sea-colored dress, and cute shorts, too.

Another winner: Easy, relaxed, but still flattering and not at all messy. And if barefoot is in for spring, then I'm super stylish right now!

[Images via Getty.]

[Toronto, September 13. Image via Getty.]

• Two female LAPD officers were suspended for leaking the photo of a beaten Rihanna. They are facing disciplinary action and a possible charge of identifying a victim of domestic violence if it's proven that they were responsible. [Contact Music]

• TMZ interviewed Richmond City Councilman Doug Conner about Chris Brown's hard labor duties, but now he says he doesn't know anything about Chris. He released a statement saying, "I have no knowledge of any legal arrangements regarding Chris Brown. Richmond, Virginia does not have a 'hard labor program.' Virginia Commonwealth University does not have gang graffiti." [TMZ]
• A source says that Jon Gosselin told Kate Gosselin that he's planning on bringing Hailey Glassman to their home soon to spend time with their children, causing Kate to cry hysterically. "I think Jon is incredibly insensitive for doing this," said Kate's friend "This came out of nowhere. It took Kate totally by surprise." Another source says, "Jon thinks Kate is a big drama queen and turns on the tears to get sympathy." [Radar Online]
• Yesterday Jon Gosselin gave Hailey Glassman a tour of his hometown, Wernersville, PA. "They definitely looked like two people in love," says a source. "They were both laughing and smiling and just enjoying being together finally without worrying about being seen. They kissed and held hands a lot." [Us]
• In light of recent rumors that they've broken up, Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman made sure the paparazzi caught them kissing while they were in Wernersville. [Radar Online]
• Jon Gosselin, who as you'll recall isn't divorced yet, went to Tiffany's in King of Prussia, PA with Hailey and when she wasn't looking he checked out the engagement rings. [Perez Hilton]
• Vampire Diaries stars Nina Dobrev, Sara Canning, Kayla Ewell, and Candice Accola were arrested Georgia for allegedly dangling off a bridge over I-75 and flashing driver. They told police they were just filming for the show, but a police spokeswoman said, "One girl was holding another girl's ankles and hanging her over the bridge like she was going to drop her." Actress Krystal Vayda, who isn't on the show, and photographer Tyler Shields were also arrested. [Access Atlanta, E!]
• People are saying Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler went out on a date on Wednesday, but they actually went out to dinner with four other friends. The restaurant manager said, "Jennifer is so lovely, and she and Gerard were not holding hands and I didn't think they were a couple, just friends having dinner together." [Radar Online]
• Another source says Jennifer Aniston, "hugged all the diners in the group and was certainly not spending any special time on Gerard. Gerard kept the group entertained with stories and they all shared many laughs.... It was not a romantic date, nor did they kiss. They didn't even sit next to each other." [People]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart stayed at a bed and breakfast on Mayne Island recently. An insider says, "Rob has wanted to get away with Kristen for a while now, somewhere really quiet that's not full of tourists." [Star]
• Today, Mischa Barton opened up to the ladies of The View about her psychiatric episode, saying, "I mean, really, it was blown out of proportion, so it's kind of silly now to be talking about it because I'm so fine now, but it was really just a bad time for me." [People]
• Even though Rachel Artz of Boston told Star she had an affair with Ellen Pompeo's husband Chris Ivery, her dad says it isn't true. "It's all malarky, totally erroneous," said Blake Artz, who said the magazine offered his daughter $5,000 for her story. "They just went and messed with the wrong person." [Boston.com]
• Miley Cyrus has decided that in light of the recent scandal, she should leave her pole home when she goes on tour. Instead she's going to dance on a rollin g baggage cart described as "the kind a hotel bellhop uses." [E!]
• Joel Madden hinted why he and Nicole Richie named their son Sparrow on Twitter today, writing "a song for the little songbird," and saying it may have something to do with the song "Sparrow" by Simon & Garfunkel. [People]
• Johnny Depp has signed on to appear in the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Comedy writer Larry Gelbart, who worked on MASH and Tootsie, died in his home at the age of 81 this morning. [L.A. Times]
• Dominic West's 10-year-old daughter Martha West will make her film debut this weekend in Creation, playing Charles Darwin's daughter. [Daily Mail]
• Though Fran Drescher said she was in negotiations with Fox News and MSNBC to do a talk show, executives at both networks deny they want to do a show with her. [Media Bistro]
• When a reporter asked Penelope Cruz if she's pregnant on the red carpet she asked, "That's your question?" and stormed off. She told USA Today, "I start getting some presents from friends saying, 'Congratulations, you're pregnant.' And I say, 'No, I'm not, so return the presents." [People]
• Jodie Foster has reportedly been dumped by her partner, Cindy Mort, who has gone back to her ex-girlfriend Amanda Demme. [Daily Mail]
• Supposedly Kyle Howard is planning on proposing to Lauren Conrad. "Lauren and Kyle have been approached by MTV executives about starring in their own reality series," says an insider. "It will be about their romance or possibly even their married life." [ONTD]
• Recently Simon Cowell said that if the Beatles had been on X Factor he would have said, "We'll take those three – Paul McCartney, John Lennon and George Harrison, but you'd probably have to lose the drummer. With Ringo around, I'm afraid we would have said 'bad news.'" Now he explains, "Regarding my comments on the Beatles, it was a joke. I have always said they were the group I have always wished I had signed. Also, to set the record straight it was recently reported that I turned down the Spice Girls. In fact, I offered the girls a recording contract before they were signed and actually offered to double the offer they had on the table." [Radar Online]
• Victoria Beckham says she never wanted to be a full-time American Idol judge. "Ellen [DeGeneres] is going to be fantastic," she said. "For me, I just love the fact that I could dip in and dip out. It was great. I saw so much talent, and to be a part of making someone's dream come true was exciting for me." [E!]
• RHONY's Kelly Bensimon keeps saying her new jewelry line is about, "taking Pocahontas out of the kayak and putting her into the disco." Now she says, "The reason that I said I took Pocahantas out of the kayak and put her in the disco is because I knew it would attract a lot of attention to the line... She was bored! She was in that little canoe and she was bored. She had to kick it! When you're in a recession, you want to have a little fun. Not be bored." [N.Y. Magazine]
• At the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences first Governors Awards event, Lauren Bacall will receive an honorary award, meaning she'll finally get an Oscar statuette. [L.A. Times]
• Christina Milian, who married The Dream earlier this week, is pregnant. A source says, "The pregnancy was a surprise, but they were getting married regardless." [Us]
• Alison Brie, who plays Pete Campbell's wife Trudy on Mad Men says she used to work as a clown at children's birthday parties. "I'd drive down to the office in Compton in a clown suit and pick up a bag of balloons and a boom box," she says. [Esquire]
• "I don't like boys who are mean to their mommies. That's a real turn off for me. And I don't like boys who aren't chivalrous. To me, not being respectful is a big deal." — Megan Fox [People]
• Michelle Forbes says of True Blood being shut out of the Emmy nominations, "Excuse me, but fuck awards! That's not where the glory is. The glory is in the audience. That's who we tell the stories for. It's not for, with all due respect, the critics and not for the awards shows, but for the audience." [E!]
• Stephen Moyer says of working with fiancée Anna Paquin on True Blood, "We are very relaxed together on set, off set and that can only help with some of the things that we get asked to do." [People]
• "I was definitely nervous, because acting is not my first profession, so I had to go and get an acting coach and really figure this thing out. It helped a lot. It relaxed me to have a little more information about it. And I find that actors are highly underrated; they don't get all the credit they deserve, because this is a hard job. That's a hard job." — Mary J. Blige on acting in I Can Do Bad All By Myself [CNN]
• In a semi-confrontational interview with Seth MacFarlane, Deborah Solomon asks him why he thinks Family Guy's rape jokes are funny, like when Peter hears three college women were raped and murdered and says, "Everyone's getting laid but me." Seth says it's funny "Because he's so oblivious. You're not laughing at rape; you're laughing at him being an idiot.... We try to keep it so that there's an innocence to the way that he conducts himself." [N.Y. Times]

• Kate Moss's latest fashion contribution: tights that look like you took a drunken prat fall on a gravel driveway. [The Sun]
• The surprise guest of honor at Macy's Glamorama in Chicago: Miss Piggy. [WWD]

• Cindy Crawford: "I have cellulite. I admit it. But sometimes I just say, 'Screw it, I am going to wear a bikini." [Redbook]
• Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon is still talking "exclusively" to gullible (or merely cynical of their readers' attention spans?) publications about her Navajo-inspired jewelry line. "My mother looked like Pocahontas and was obsessed with jewelry, so I really learned at young age how accessories can change your look in an inexpensive way," explains the ex-model. At least she didn't say she was going to take Pocahontas out of the canoe and put her in the disco? [People]
• A French graffiti artist/media prankster tagged a dripping Chanel logo on the side of a Giorgio Armani store in Hong Kong. He was arrested. [ChicReport]
• As one of Fashion's Night Out's eleventy-billion events, André Leon Talley is hosting a life-sized board game tournament. You could play in it. [The Cut]
• And here's a ...deal? If you spend $2,500 on Dior merchandise at Fashion's Night Out, you can have your picture taken with Charlize Theron. [WWD]
• i-D has become the first — and so far only — major fashion magazine to feature women of color on its front cover for the September issue. Earlier this year, Sessilee Lopez and Chanel Iman tweeted separately on the same day about doing "a major surprise cover," which led fashion watchers to assume the two models would be featured together. It turns out that cover was i-D, and models Jourdan Dunn and Arlenis Sosa are also pictured. [Fashionologie]
• There is now a rumor going around about the rumor that Haider Ackerman is replacing the (rumored retired) designer Martin Margiela, which would have it — on rumor, you understand — that Margiela's rumored retirement is all one big hoax from the rumored identity-playful Belgian designer. Allegedly. [Hintmag]
• There are yet more pictures of a gorgeous Isabeli Fontana in +J, Jil Sander's hotly-awaited new line for Uniqlo. [Uniqlo]
• PETA is planning shareholder action at Talbots' shareholder meeting next year over the company's use of Australian wool; PETA holds that Australian sheep farmers' use of mulesing is inhumane. [Dealbook]
• After losing their sales commission, a majority of the employees at three New York Cole Haan stores have voted to unionize. [Crain's]
• Time is calling Abercrombie & Fitch, which has experienced ten straight months of double-digit sales declines, the worst recession brand in the world. [Time
• Also in the red: Esprit, down 26%. [WWD]
• If director RJ Cutler had to compare The September Issue to the Clinton campaign what would he say? "The similarity I would focus on is one of leadership-people who are passionate about what they do and are doing it under high stake circumstances. It's a good way of describing Anna Wintour. It's a good way of describing James Carville. And George Stephanopolous. And Grace Coddington. Though they certainly dress differently." (We'd have gone with, "NA.") [Fashionista]
• Speaking of Vogue: The Australian iteration's putting out a book that's "as much about trends of the time as it is about fashion." [News.co.au]
• Oh yeah, here's the way to pull in the kids: on Friday, the Gap "dressed 1,200 New York Stock Exchange traders in its new 1969 Premium Jeans." [New York]
• Gucci's put out a limited edition watch, sales of which go towards Mary J. Blige's "Foundation for the Advancement of Women Now." WWD describes "The Gucci for FFAWN Twirl watch" as "a sleek black PVD bracelet decorated with the signature double-G motif and a monochrome dial, and its rotating case has black diamonds. The $1,895 watch turns on itself to switch from a bracelet to a timepiece and is engraved with the words 'Gucci for FFAWN.'" It looks like a snap bracelet! But presumably won't be recalled for safety reasons! [WWD]
• American Apparel takes to the web cam. Don't worry: it's just tutorials on how to do different (sartorial!) stuff with bits of jersey and string. [AdRants]
• Speaking of new media, Henri Bendel's defeated the purpose of it entirely by sticking a model in their window for hours at a time, pretending to net-surf. You can friend her. [Observer]

• Angelina Jolie, as you may know, was in Baghdad yesterday. Saint Angelina walked through a makeshift settlement where 20,000 displaced Iraqis live, and said:

"It is lacking in all of the basic things that you would need, they don't have. They just started to have clean water. They're sleeping on dirt. They have built these areas out of brick by hand. They don't have job opportunities… We have still many young men and women from our country who are fighting every day, there are men and women from all countries who have lost their lives, and this is a time to try to make some positive change." [CNN]

• Angelina told one man: "It takes a lot of strength for you to survive this life. I don't know if I would be strong enough to survive this." And she vowed that this trip would not be her last: "I want to come back and find you in a better place and in a different situation… You need help not because you are poor, but because you are the future of Iraq." [NY Daily News]
• Gerard Butler doesn't have the body he had in 300, says a source. "He's so embarrassed that his six-pack abs have gone, he works out wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses." [Page Six]
• "Mischa's Shocking Interview," filmed a few days before she was taken to the hospital, is not shocking at all. She is talking about fashion and appears very normal. Unless that is shocking? [The Sun]
• Spotted: Tom Cruise out dancing with David and Victoria Beckham. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse in court: "I'm probably 5 foot 2 inches to 3 inches tall… But my hair does make a difference." She claims she was wearing flats (ballet slippers, obvs) and could not have hurt the 5 foot 7 woman who claims Amy punched her. [NY Post]
• …And presto! Amy Winehouse has been acquitted of assault. [AP]
• Here's what happens: Kate Major was a reporter, then she "fell for" Jon Gosselin, now other reporters are digging up dirt about her past, like the time she fell down the stairs at a party and loves to drink. [Radar]
• "Jon Gosselin's new girlfriend Kate Major has always sought fame, sees him as meal ticket: insiders." [Gatecrasher]
• Footage of New Moon debuted at Comic-Con yesterday and it "played in part like a matchup of dueling abs." [EW]
• Robert Pattinson seems to have settled in to his new, insane fame: "I pretty much live an almost identical life apart from being recognized," he says. "That's not exactly the worst thing in the world." [People]
• Twilight peeps say Robert and Kristen Stewart have "incredible chemistry." OMG just like the movie! [People]
• More from Comic-Con: Kristen Stewart said, "Uh, I can't wait to get pregnant," in reference to Breaking Dawn. Robert Pattinson added: "I can't wait to perform the Caesarean!" [E!]
• Kate Hudson is a "good luck charm" for boyfriend Alex Rodriguez. [Gatecrasher]
• Megan Fox's rep says Megan Fox never turned down a James Bond movie. "The report about Megan Fox turning down a Bond movie is completely not true. There have been no discussions nor any offers. Megan is a fan of the Bond movies." [People]
• Check out her new AT&T commercials (video at the link) and see how relentlessly fierce Mary J. Blige is. [BrandWeek]
• Michelle Trachtenberg will be working on a new show, Mercy, but she'll still be doing Georgina on Gossip Girl, saying: "Georgina's not going anywhere… She's never gonna die. There's nothing you can do to kill her. It's like one of those horror movies where they're like, 'She's dead,' and then she wakes back up and is like, 'No, I'm not.'" [NY Mag]
• Trachtenberg's "Blacklist" is pretty hilarious: "4. People who refer to themselves in the third person. Michelle thinks that's ridiculous." [BlackBook]
• Twelve-year-old Prince Jackson is "traumatized," as he was the one child who witnessed the doctor's unsuccessful attempts at resuscitation on his father. [Daily Mail]
• This report claims Michael Jackson pleaded for drugs because he had insomnia. [Mirror]
• Katherine Jackson was financially dependent on Michael Jackson and has asked a judge to provide an allowance for Michael's three kids (out of the estate) due to an "urgent need." Court documents claim that Katherine has only "extremely modest" Social Security benefits. [People]
• Oh, God. "Michael Jackson wore a prosthetic nose, according a report — and it was missing from his surgically mangled face as he lay in an LA morgue." [NY Post]
• Demi Moore is suing an Australian magazine for printing a series of photo booth-style photographs, which Demi owned and did not give permission to be published. In the pix? Demi, Rumer Willis, Orlando Bloom, P. Diddy, Cameron Diaz and Amanda De Cadenet. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• A judge has awarded Kelis a whopping $55,000 a month in combined spousal and child support from estranged husband Nas. [TMZ]
• Hmm, this report says Nas will pay $40,000. [People]
• Solange cut her hair and people are freaking the fuck out. [People]
• Bono has invested in the smartphone maker Palm, but is doing commercials for BlackBerry. [NY Post]
• Cailtin Moran on Kendra Wilkinson getting married at the Playboy Mansion and referring to Hef as a "father figure": "Because if there's one thing that holding your wedding in the building that has come to represent licentiousness, misogyny, exploitation and cheap nylon split-crotch panties at the breakfast table, it's referring to the soft pornographer who was 'intimate' with you all those years as 'Dad.'" [Times of London]
• Someone really wants you to keep watching Drop Dead Diva: Upcoming guest stars include Liza Minnelli, Paula Abdul, Tim Gunn, Delta Burke, Jorja Fox and more. [Pop Wrap]
• Jerry Hall will be nude on stage in Calendar Girls on London's West End, and says she is "terrified." "Nudity is always terrifying, even now… And yes, I have to admit I've been trying to eat less. I've been doing yoga classes with some girls in Richmond and eating lots of salads. The nudity scene is brilliantly comic — I was roaring with laughter when I saw it — but I'm worried about whether the buns are going to cover my breasts." [Daily Mail]
• This item is about John Lennon's penis. [Page Six]
• Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler: Still on. [Page Six]
• John Cleese is being treated for inflammation of the prostate gland — and will miss the Just For Laughs festival in Montreal, Canada. [The Sun]
• Eddie Van Halen: Recovering from hand surgery. [Rolling Stone]
• "I started smoking when I was 24, because I'm an idiot. I don't enjoy it so much now, because I've become such a slave to it. I hate planning my life around when I'm getting a cigarette." — Katherine Heigl. [Daily Mail]
• "I just loathe homophobia. It's just disgusting and animal and stupid and it's just thick people who can't get their heads around it and are just scared. I grew up around gay people entirely. I was the only child in my class who had any experience of homosexuality or anything like that." — Daniel Radcliffe, who looks pretty cute on the cover of gay magazine Attitude. [The Sun]
• "One day, sure, but pregnancy scares me. I know I'll be one of those women who looks pregnant all over the body. I'll get fatter and fatter from my toes up." — Katherine Heigl, when asked if she will have kids some day. [Daily Mail]
• "In a way it's good, but I also don't want people thinking of me as this blond heiress… airhead. But that is kind of my brand. I make a lot of money by doing that. I always looked up to Princess Diana and all these women, and now I could never be like that. I want to have a family. I want to be normal. I want to be happy." — Paris Hilton, on the "character" she invented. [Yahoo News via E!, E!]
• "I'm playing Speckles, the mole, and he's an outsider. He's an iconoclast — he doesn't fit in… I'm comfortable with the mole, yeah. I mean, yeah, he's different, he's got issues, you know? I don't want a perfect character, I want a character who has, as strange as it sounds, some humanity, some flaws, some needs. But to be fair, I'm not in a lot of this movie. This is Darwin's movie, um Sam Rockwell and Penelope Cruz's movie — they're the stars. I'm only in it at the beginning and the end." — Nicolas Cage on his role in G-Force. Yes, that is the guinea pig movie. [CNN]
• "I'm probably 20% atheist and 80% agnostic. You'll either find out or not when you get there. Until then, there's no point thinking about it." — Brad Pitt. [Gatecrasher via Bild]