Miley Cyrus Fans Want To Rip Lorde's Brains Out For Winning at iTunes

Rabid Miley Cyrus fans are lashing out at 16-year-old chanteuse Lorde, who is so uppity that she did not commit hara-kiri immediately after her "Royals" topped Miley as #1 on the iTunes chart. They're slamming her with Dorothy Parker-esque gems like "Your eyes are too far apart" and "kill yourself you crusty old… » 9/20/13 9:00am 9/20/13 9:00am

Uptight Flamingos Will Only Have Sex to Marvin Gaye Slow Jams

Hey, friend. Let me ask you a question. Are you having trouble getting your flamingos to have sex with each other? Make floppy, grinding bird-love? Well first of all, TBH, I'm a little creeped out by this obsession you have with flamingo sex. But that's just me. You do you, little acorn. But second of all, fret no… » 8/10/12 3:30pm 8/10/12 3:30pm