marriage equality

posts about #marriageequality more →
Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
Author Asks: If Every Man Could Have Gay Sex, Why Would He Need Women?
"Conservatives: Just The People You Want In Charge Of Your Sex Life"
New Hampshire Legalizes Same Sex Marriage, Keeps Some Discrimination Intact
Dick Cheney Sez: "Don't Worry, Be Happy"
Drew Barrymore: Kind Of Blue
California Court Upholds Marriage Inequality, Except For The Already-Equal
Meghan McCain Talks Sex, Marriage With Colbert
Carrie Prejean: "Satan Was Trying To Tempt Me"
Maine Legalizes Same Sex Marriage!

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bluebears
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
"McCain — a fan of Lucky Cheng's drag club in New York City where she gets her Lady Bunny fix — says that during the campaign no reporter bothered to ask for her views on the matter."

ha.ha.ha. George W. Bush -- a fan of the Seamus Heaney translation of Beowulf because he says he likes the lyricism of it-- says that during the campaign no one asked him his views on adult illiteracy.
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counterclockwise's using her promoting-power for good
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
Oh come on people, you know that gay men are hysterically funny, fashionable and have problems with their wrists. There's even a documentary about it, called "Brüno".
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merely_a_muse
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
Oh man! I love gays too! Except when they annoy me or they're too bitchy or they love awful music or they're mean to my friends....Oh balls, it looks like I feel the same about gays as I do most other groups of people.

People aren't accessories! It's not a terribly hard concept (I thought)
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bluebears
07/16/09

@merely_a_muse: I love that you wrote, "oh balls" I am stealing it an incorporating it into my daily conversation.
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thesciencegirl
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
I hate that "X is the last acceptable prejudice" meme. They're pretty much all still alive and kicking.
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Trulymadlyme
07/16/09

@thesciencegirl: You are absolutely right. It's fadish and diminishes the reality that hate exists everywhere and is tolerated in many, many contexts. Polite company is a completely relative term, for sure. Good point.
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rocknrollunicorn
07/17/09

@thesciencegirl: Yes. You have to be living in a major city, surrounding yourself only with like-minded people and be completely oblivious to say things like that.
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Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin)
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
Gay women get no love. Unless they're smokin' hot, but then the gay has nothing to do with it. sigh.
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counterclockwise's using her promoting-power for good
07/16/09

@Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin): What about bisexuals? No one ever cares about bisexuals!
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Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin)
07/16/09

@counterclockwise's using her promoting-power...: duh! because bisexuals only have half the fashion sense and fabulousness of gay men, its been scientifically proven.
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Trulymadlyme
07/16/09

@Mmmmkay (gellin' and Jezebelin): I actually mentioned how gay women are turned into a fetish, too. It's just as offensive.
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Sputnik_Sweetheart
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
She also calls Joe the Plumber a dambass in that interview. Which is great and all, but, um, whose fault it is that the guy has a platform in the first place?

I welcome Meghan McCain to the discussion, and I applaud anyone's efforts to take back the GOP from the neocon fundies. However, she strikes me as deeply unserious. You are right that most of her interviews are fluffy and on the rare occasions when she is challenged, she falls back on old GOP talking points. If she wants to have more of a role in the conversation, she needs to brush up on her history and poly sci, and find a voice of her own.
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Edited by Sputnik_Sweetheart at 07/16/09 5:55 PM Sputnik_Sweetheart was starred

angelheadedhipster
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
She likes me, she REALLY likes me!
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mbprice
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
Yeah, but this is hardly an uncommon expression. I mean "my gays" is basically common currency in conversation, even around these parts. I've always found it extremely disturbing and reductive.
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Penny
07/16/09

@mbprice: I have never, or will never, say that. I have to bite my lip when I hear others saying it.
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Trulymadlyme
07/16/09

@Penny: Absolutely. Whatever happened to simply having friends. My gay friends don't call me their black best friend. I don't get why people are more offended by the inverse.
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J.D.Regent
07/16/09

@mbprice: i totally agree; like they are accessories!
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DangerMouse
07/16/09

@mbprice: I have never heard that before... and now I will be horrified for the rest of the evening.
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Penny
07/16/09

@Trulymadlyme: Yeah, I think it's meant to be cute, and I usually let it slide if it's someone who I know isn't a total idiot. But, I have never understood it either. They are your friends, not accessories. I can't imagine saying, "I'm meeting up to shop with my Asians."
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hovy
07/16/09

@DangerMouse: I hear it every once in a while. Usually from a straight girl who wants to be my friend. "Can you be my gay?!?" Um, no.
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Penny
07/16/09

@Penny: Weird, that was meant for mbprice. Curse you, new commenting system!!
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banh mi
07/16/09

@Penny: That's only because you're not Gwen Stefani. Or are you?!?
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Penny
07/16/09

@hovy: You should say, "sure hon, this is my fee...."
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Edited by Penny at 07/16/09 5:52 PM Penny was starred Penny was unstarred

mbprice
07/16/09

@Penny: It seems they are, in some ways, considered accessories, though. It's really, really bizarre. It's like some people think of gay "friends" narrowly as a.) shopping buddies b.) ogling-guys buddies c.) tokens of their freemindedness. And, I suppose, taken indvididually, those aren't necessarily bad things. But usually they aren't "friends" in the more general sense either, and it's this weird pigeonholing.

You know all this, of course, I'm just blathering out loud, and maybe for the edification of some of the other people who haven't seen this trend.
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hovy
07/16/09

@Penny: What's scary is that I think some girls would be willing to pay.
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dj_chick
07/16/09

@mbprice: When it's being said in the same way you might say "my girls" or "my boys" or whatever, why is it so offensive? It's a descriptive term that identifies a group of people.
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Penny
07/16/09

@hovy: Let's go into business!
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/16/09

@hovy: My friend in high school used to get asked if he would be someone's "Will."
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Penny
07/16/09

@mbprice: Yeah, when people realize that there are boring, jerky and lame gay people, gay people who are CPAs or state workers and gay people who wear socks and Tevas....then we will have TRUE equality.
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LBB
07/16/09

@hovy: ....people actually SAY THAT? My mind is boggled.
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mbprice
07/16/09

@dj_chick: But it's absolutely not used in the same way as "my boys" or "my girls." Those aren't reductive terms, they are generic. In turn, "my gays" generalizes individuals, and does so with a hint of "oh aren't cute!" or something. It's not the term in and of itself, it's the way it's used.
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Edited by mbprice at 07/16/09 6:04 PM mbprice was starred mbprice was unstarred

hovy
07/16/09

@Penny: Then we can use the money to go buy cute shoes!
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dj_chick
07/16/09

@mbprice: Then maybe it depends on the individuals who use it. Because the term isn't offensive alone, I think it's a big generalization to say that everyone who says it is saying it means it offensively. And the word gay is in no way an insult... despite what the average 14-year-old will tell you.
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kithkin
07/16/09

@mbprice: I've seen this mostly originating from point c. It is so cringe-inducing that I've had to cut people out of my life for saying things like this so often. "Every girl needs a gay best friend." Really? Every person needs a friend, period. I mentioned it downthread, but I actually hear the words "I love gays!" and "I love trannies!" with startling frequency and it is frankly so shocking that I'm ashamed to say I rarely do anything about it because I'm too stunned to speak.
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bluebears
07/16/09

@mbprice:it is the WORST. I base my Kathy Griffin dislike on her repeated use of it.
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bluebears
07/16/09

@Penny: its like when Oscar came out on The Office and Kelly was like, "I had no idea how cool you were" (or something) and he was like, "yes. I'm an accountant at a failing paper company in Scranton PA, just like Sir Ian McKellan"
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bluebears
07/16/09

@dj_chick:also if you're a girl and you say "my girls" or a boy who says "my boys" its different from a straight person saying "my gays" as that singles them out as "other" somehow deserving of a separate classification. in my opinion.
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Edited by bluebears at 07/16/09 6:21 PM bluebears was starred bluebears was unstarred

whitekidinflatbush
07/16/09

@mbprice: I'm gay and didn't find it offensive. There's a lot of things one can criticize Meghan McCain about, but this is a mountain out of a molehill. A fabulous, sparkling molehill.
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dj_chick
07/16/09

@bluebears: This does clarify for me how some people can find it cringe-worthy.... but maybe it's a decision best left up to individual groups of friends? After all, if one of my friends told me that they found it offensive, I would (of course!) do my best to not use it.

@whitekidinflatbush: Whoo! Here I thought perhaps I was the only one, and out of my damn liberal mind...
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bluebears
07/16/09

@dj_chick:oh totally. The guys on the ProjectRungay blog use it all the time. Its just a personal cringe thing for me which is why I don't say it.
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That_little_attention_whore
07/16/09

@banh mi: Zing!
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rocknrollunicorn
07/17/09

@mbprice: Yeah, I seriously cannot stand this. The gay men who are my friends are my friends, period. Occasionally when relating a story about them, I have to mention that they are gay. NEVER do I call them "my gays." It's gross, as Billy Bush would say.
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Trulymadlyme
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
McCain's whole "I love the gays" is why I strongly, strongly support the ban on all bachelorette parties in gay and lesbian establishments. I spent 20 minutes trying to explain to a co-worker why this idea made sense. I don't get why so many people fail to grasp that Gays and Lesbians aren't wild animals and the few places they can comfortably hang out without fear of violence, sadly, is not a zoo or a safari or some venue that exists solely to trick you into thinking you're Kathy Griffin or Grace Adler or some extra on the L-Word. Stop gawking. Seriously. Also? Stop grabbing strangers' junk. And no, it's not excusable simply because it's a dare. Sigh.
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Edited by Trulymadlyme at 07/16/09 5:46 PM Trulymadlyme was starred Trulymadlyme was unstarred

J.D.Regent
07/16/09

@Trulymadlyme:ican't believe straight women do this. woman up and go to a male strip club aimed at women or just choose a different activity.
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Trulymadlyme
07/16/09

@J.D.Regent: It's not just the gay clubs catered to men because I have even seen this sort of mess go down in lesbian clubs and lounges (shout out to Bellisima iin the ATL!). I mean, lady you're getting married next week. Now is not the time to work out whatever bi-curious issues you have. And I'm guessing the rest of the lounge doesn't want to hear about that *** one time in college *** or whatever. We just want to enjoy our drinks and the music. And most of the women hate the fact that despite you cheating on your fiance you will probably be married next week while they continue to live as second class citizens.
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Edited by Trulymadlyme at 07/16/09 5:55 PM Trulymadlyme was starred Trulymadlyme was unstarred

kithkin
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
I certainly don't think that homophobia is the "last socially-acceptable prejudice," and you've listed several of the ones that are still out and in full force, even in supposedly liberal or progressive areas of the country. That in itself should be obvious from straight cisgendered women in their 20s saying things like "I love gay men!" or "I love trannies! They're so fabulous!" or collecting gay friends like they're Troll dolls. This is reductive and offensive, just as you say, Megan. It's not really about caring about people, it's about proving oneself to be progressive and open minded and chic and edgy while having a very close-minded view of the way the world is and people are.
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dj_chick
07/16/09

@kithkin: I think she is kinda on to something, though. I've come across plenty of people who have the sense to hide their racism or sexism, but who feel that it's ok to be openly homophic. These declarations are often followed by Bible verses.

Not to say that I disagree with everything that you're saying, but I do think that it's an issue that needs to be talked about more. The public in general needs to be educated about "teh gays" in order to understand what the community as a whole finds offensive. I've never had someone say to me, "Wow, that's an offensive and shitty thing to say" when I've commented about my love for flamboyant gay men, or how 9 times out of 10, a trip to a gay bar is going to boost a girl's self esteem because they're bound to get plenty of compliments. And now that I'm seeing that some people do find it offensive? I'll likely watch myself and try to not say things like that.

Up until now, the only lesson I ever learned about "things not to say" from my gay friends is "go straight". It's always "forward", never "straight". I was told to learn it and live it, and I have.
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Penny
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
I love to dance with gay men on tables at video bars while wearing a tiara, rainbow leggings and a tutu, drinking Sea Breezes and listing to Scissor Sister remixes.

Oh, and they have to be naked, tan, buff, lubed up and let me shove dollar bills down their thongs.

And, they love me, because I am a straight girl and they are gay men and we are, like, so different but I totally love them so they love me back and give me fashion advice and tell me all about their dirty exploits with hookers.
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Casquivana
07/16/09

@Penny:
..and when you plot to get your ex-boyfriend back before he marries, do they come to the rescue to play your fiancé to make him jealous and sing Dionne Warwick songs while eating lobster? I do that with gay men aaaall the time. Because they're like, my friends, but gay, and I'm their friend, but I'm a girl, and they shriek when they see me with my clay mask in my hotel room.
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/16/09

In reply to Meghan McCain Interview Misses Too Much Prejudice To Ignore
I like gay men! They're just like regular men except they don't try to have sex with me (usually)!
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whynotshesaid
07/03/09

In reply to Author Asks: If Every Man Could Have Gay Sex, Why Would He Need Women?
Someone needs to talk to this man's wife.
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jemandtheholograms
07/02/09

In reply to Author Asks: If Every Man Could Have Gay Sex, Why Would He Need Women?
Final thought--I have to assume this man is terrible in bed given his total lack of understanding how sexuality works. He probably just pounds away for 30 seconds, gets off and rolls over. Doesn't even notice the bored expression.
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NotChoinski
07/02/09

In reply to Author Asks: If Every Man Could Have Gay Sex, Why Would He Need Women?
"if every man can have gay sex, why would n't he do that insterad of simply lying to you for a lifetime?"
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