• Michelle Obama and "first tweens" Malia and Sasha skipped the health care talk President Obama gave on ABC last night and went to a Beyoncé concert instead.

Gawd, imagine sitting next to your mom while Sasha Fierce sings about Jay-Z's penis?!?! [ABC News]

• Late-breaking news: Jackie O seduced Marlon Brando? [Page Six]
• Also? Jackie may have had an affair with Bobby Kennedy? [Gatecrasher]
• Brad Pitt's mom: On Team Aniston. Insert eyeroll emoticon. [MSNBC]
• Kate Gosselin used a local lawyer when filing for divorce, but Jon Gosselin chose Charles J. Meyer, one of the Philadelphia area's most high-profile family law attorneys. [MSNBC]
• "Jon 'hurt' by Kate's remarks as she cites his weekend 'activities.'" [CNN]
• "I'm sorry. And I mean it," writes Perez Hilton. [Perez]
• Here's a mug shot of the dude who allegedly punched Perez, whom you may or may not secretly admire. [TMZ]
• Perez is suing the guy who gave him a black eye. [Page Six]
• Will.I.Am says: " would hate for my silence to be misconstrued… I do not condone harassment or violence of any kind…" [Just Jared]
• A 22-year-old drama student from the University of Indiana is planning to stage a play called The Last Days Of Heath Ledger. [Fox News]
• TMZ says it's not looking good for Farrah Fawcett. [TMZ]
• Have you seen that kid who tried to give Megan Fox a rose? You could get $5,000 if you know who he is. [Page Six]
• Russell Simmons: Seen making out with the gorgeous French actress/model Noemie Lenoir. [Page Six]
• Joy Behar's wedding: Off. How does her boyfriend feel about it? "Steve is fine," Behar says. "He says, 'Do whatever you want.'" [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Winehouse lyrics wrapping paper and greeting cards. No, really. [The Sun]
• Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint went to a pub and got so drunk they couldn't remember the name of the film Harry Portter and The Order Of The Phoenix. [Daily Star]
• Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton wanted to smoke a cigarette in a London club and was shut down. [Daily Mail]
• Two paparazzi were robbed a few hours after they snapped pix of Robbie Williams… and argued with his entourage. Coincidence? [USA Today]
• Launching this fall: Rosie Radio on XM. Rosie O'Donnell will discuss news and entertainment and chat with guests. "I think it'll be good for me," Rosie says. [AP]
• Ryan Reynolds will star in Buried, playing a civilian contractor who's kidnapped in Iraq and awakens buried in a coffin in the desert, armed only with a cell phone, a candle and a knife. [Variety]
• The estranged daughter of Billy Bob Thornton has been indicted in the death of a one-year-old girl she was baby sitting. [AP]
• Kate Hudson is described as a "steakhouse hex," since she watched the Yankees game from a restaurant and her boyfriend's team lost. [Page Six]
• Seth Rogen "seems to have given up on his diet" since he dared to be seen "wolfing down pasta" at a "high-calorie dinner." [Page Six]
• Tatyana Ali from the Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air is in the news, yay! Oh, but she is suing a company of losing her money, boo. [TMZ]
• An auto parts store in Whittier, CA is "paying tribute" to mother of octuplets Nadya Suleman with an interesting VW display involving a mannequin and a bunch of baby dolls. Traffic-stopping image at the link. [LA Times]
• The ABBA museum: Scrapped due to a lack of cash. If you change your mind, I'm the first in line. (Not really.) [NY Times]
• Get to know Scout Taylor-Compton: She has been cast as Lita Ford in The Runaways alongside Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning. [Variety]
• Oh-Snap-Blind-Item! "Which meanspirited starlet e-mailed a co-star's sex tape to a lengthy list of mutual friends?" [Gatecrasher]
• "In 1979, I was teaching nude photography at Parsons school in New York. I needed models for the course – and one day a 20-year-old called Madonna Ciccone showed up. She was just another citizen, a girl trying to make ends meet. She was quiet, taciturn. I'm not sure it was something she enjoyed. She did it for the money, in this case $30. She was relaxed, composed, did as asked. Some people are stiff, some are there to do a job, some give a little more. She was in the middle: she did what she was told but nothing extra." — Martin Schreiber. Nude pic of her Magesty at the link. [Guardian]
• "I can't think of myself in terms of celebrity. It's just too weird. If the choice is between being constantly gawked at and sitting in a chair in a dark room, I prefer the dark room." — Johnny Depp. [Telgraph]
• "The island [I own] can be perceived as a luxury and it certainly is, but it provides me with simplicity and somewhere I can go where no one is looking at me or pointing a camera or a finger at me. I can just be: that's the importance of it. When we're there we do absolutely nothing. My kiddies don't have any toys there and they build little houses out of shells." — Johnny Depp. [Telegraph]
• "I don't feel I've ever played the same person twice. Even though I might have done a couple of comedies or a couple of romantic comedies, the characters are all very different to me," — To you, but not to us, Cameron Diaz. [Reuters]
• "To me, Mia's story's about what happens when you're never really loved in the course of your life. When nobody really takes care of you. You can end up extremely damaged. Thank God, my real life doesn't resemble poor Mia at all." — Hope Davis, on her In Treatment character. [The Daily Beast]
• "I think he's the only functional father. Lucius isn't a functional father. 'Proto' fathers Sirius and Dumbledore are dead, and there's no nice way to put that, so he's the only good image of a father really." — Mark Williams, who plays Aurthur Weasley in the Harry Potter films. [LA Times]
• "After several weeks of continued press coverage of Jon Peters' upcoming book, I want to make something very clear. I have never dated nor had a romantic relationship with Mr. Peters. My name has been continually linked to his romantic liaisons, and I want to put a stop to this lie." — Salma Hayek. [EW]
• "Best way to get over a broken heart? Listen to good music." — Zooey Deschanel, who is reportedly engaged to Ben Gibbard from Death Cab For Cutie. [Mirror]
• "I never look at myself, even in still photographs. I don't look at anything. I panic if there is a monitor in the room. I immediately go into like an anxiety attack. I'm insecure, I think most actors are pretty insecure… I'm not coping very well with all this. Really I'm insane and I don't know how to control my mouth, but I'm working on it." — Your friend Megan Fox. [Mirror]

The island has six different beaches — named after Depp's partner, Vanessa Paradis, and their children, Lily Rose and Jack, as well as his mentors Hunter S. Thompson and Marlon Brando. There's a "patch of water" called "Heath's Place," after the late actor Heath Ledger. The several small residences on the island are solar-powered, and transportation consists of a fleet of green golf carts. Johnny says the beach named after Thompson is Depp "the most savage and exposed of all the beaches. Gonzo Beach is pure Hunter."

Johnny tells Brinkley:

"I don't think I'd ever seen any place so pure and beautiful. You can feel your pulse rate drop about 20 beats. It's instant freedom. And that rare beast-simplicity-can be had. And a little morsel of anonymity… Whenever I was getting frustrated about being 'novelty boy' and making movies, I told myself, Calm down. I can come down here and disappear. I spent the Christmas season here with Vanessa and the kids. You can feed hot dogs to the nurse sharks in the Exumas - but it's best to not swim when doing it."

When not swimming or feeding sharks, Johnny paints. "When I can focus on something like guitar or painting, I do," he says. "I started painting people I admire, like Kerouac, Bob Dylan, Nelson Algren, Marlon Brando, Patti Smith, my girl, my kids. I painted Hunter a couple of times. Keith Richards. What I love to do is paint people's faces, y'know, their eyes. Because you want to find that emotion, see what's going on behind their eyes."

One thing is for sure: Johnny is convince that island living is best.

Nobody is going to ever ruin the Land and Sea Park. It's like a rare gem, a diamond. I look forward to my kids growing up on the island, spending months out of the year here … learning about sea life and how to protect sea life … and their kids growing up here, and so on…. Theoretically, this place can add years to your life." Then he quotes the old adage: "Money doesn't buy you happiness. But it buys you a big enough yacht to sail right up to it."

Take a Trip to Johnny Depp's Private Island [Vanity Fair]

[Image by Francois-Marie Banier exclusively for Vanity Fair.]

• Angelina Jolie has reportedly been told she shouldn't bear any more babies for health reasons. But what of the babies the tabloids insist she conceived about two months before the twins' birth? [E!, The Superficial]

• An arrest for the murder of Mark Ruffalo's brother is imminent, according to "law enforcement sources" willing to talk to TMZ. Scott Ruffalo died from a bullet wound to the head earlier this month. The two people in the room with him say Scott was playing Russian roulette, but the coroner says his death was a homicide. [TMZ]
• Kevin Bacon's rep has confirmed that he and wife Kyra Sedgwick lost money in Bernie Madoff's $50 billion Ponzi scheme. However, he would not comment on the rumor that they've lost everything except their land and the money in their checking accounts. On the bright side, that Kevin Bacon game will probably come in handy if he needs to ask around for some loans. [NY Magazine]
• John Mayer covered Mariah Carey's song "All I Want for Christmas is You" and you can listen to it here. We're still waiting for John's version of "Touch My Body." [ONTD]
• Marlon Brando was desperate to sell stuff on QVC, according to a new book by his aide. Shortly before his death in 2004, Brando's fortune had dwindled to $9,000 and he thought he could earn some quick cash on the home shopping channel. He even met with a QVC executive, but sadly the deal fell through, depriving the world of Marlon Brando brand undershirts. [Village Voice]
• In his new movie Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America For The Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable In The Presence Of A Gay Foreigner In A Mesh T-Shirt Sacha Baron Cohen will mock former BFF Madonna by having Bruno and his boyfriend adopt an African baby named David and parade the baby around the fashion capitals of the world. Et tu, Borat? [The Sun]
• Nicole Richie keeps her marriage strong by sharing her bedroom fantasies with hubby Joel Madden via text messages when they're not together. Her former body guard says she's constantly sending him messages, "telling him what she is wearing and what she wants to do with him when she gets home." They have an infant at home. We bet she's wearing a sweatshirt with baby spit on it and she fantasizes that he'll take Harlow when he gets home. [Perez Hilton]
• Russell Crowe has been asked to slim down by March for his role as the Sherrif of Nottingham in Ridley Scott's new Robin Hood movie. If Scott gets a phone thrown at his head, he can't say he wasn't warned. [Daily Mail]
• It looks like Paris Hilton's diversionary tactics may have gone awry in Australia. Fans and photographers fawned over a Paris look-alike with her signature blonde hair, big bag, and cell phone attached to her ear, who got in a Ferrari. When the real Paris stepped out half an hour later she was "boo"ed.[News.com.au]
• Could an upcoming award show be hosted by Ricky Gervais and Steve Carell? The two had a memorable interaction at the Emmys and Gervais's name is often mentioned in rumors about awards show hosts. "I would love to host anything with Steve Carell," says Gervais."I would do a cat show with Steve Carell. I would do Computer Nerds' Mr. Universe with Steve Carell. So if anyone asks me if I will host a show with Steve Carell, the answer's yes." Gervais and Carell hosting together? We'd love to attend those Dundies. [CNN]

• Video of Madonna falling yesterday during a concert in Brazil. She played it off, did a yoga stretch, then proceeded to French kiss a dancer dressed in Like-A-Virgin-duds, so everything's cool. [The Life Files, PopSugar]

• By the by, it looks like Guy Ritchie is getting around $76 to $92 million from Madonna in the divorce settlement. No wonder he's been looking so giddy lately! [AP]
• Her rep says Michelle Williams will not be accepting awards for Heath Ledger if/when he gets any at the Golden Globes or beyond. TMZ]
• For some reason, Brooks Brothers wants you to know that yes, they make the tie that is touching Jennifer Aniston's breasts on the cover of GQ. They announced this news with an email which read, "BROOKS BROTHERS 'TIES UP' JENNIFER ANISTION ON THE COVER OF JANUARY 2009 GQ." How S&M! [Jezebel Inbox]
• Twilight author Stephanie Meyer promises that despite a new director, the next movie, New Moon will be "as close to the book as possible." So… bad, then? [E!]
• The good news is Rachael Ray might not have to get vocal surgery; the bad news is that means that she can keep chatting away. Does anyone else find her voice grating? [People]
• Whoopi Goldberg will star in Stream, a sci-fi miniseries on FearNet the web and on demand. She'll play a haunted woman who resides in a psychiatric facility, but because of a drug she took as a teenager, experiences various stages of her life past and present at the same time. Isn't this called Alzheimer's? [MediaWeek]
• Mott's first ads in more than a decade will use Marcia Cross to shill applesauce and tap into the Desperate Housewife demo. Uh, sexy? [BrandWeek]
• Sam Mendes talks about what it was like to direct his wife, Kate Winslet, in Revolutionary Road: "I would open my eyes in the morning and there Kate would be, going, 'Great! You’re awake! Now let’s talk about the second scene.' She loves to bring home work. She wants to talk about literally every full stop and comma, and so I realized that for 24 hours a day I had to basically treat her like my leading actress." [W]
• Filmmaker Dino De Laurentis thought Meryl Streep was "too ugly" to be in the 1976 flick King Kong, and said so, in front of her, in Italian. Little did he know that Streep had been studying the language. "When I replied in Italian," she says, "he looked like he had been shot." In any case, role went to Jessica Lange. Oh, and this paper's headline makes it seem like Streep was too fug to play King Kong, which is just mean. [Daily Express]
• Brody Jenner says he and the contestants on his new MTV reality show Bromance actually cry: "I did this whole sit-down with these guys, which we called Broprah," Jenner says. "I was sitting around and would say, 'OK, now tell me about...' and then all of a sudden it got to be like, 'Whoa!' We're uncovering some deep stuff. These big, grown guys are sitting around crying over being friends with a dude." Give the kid a fucking medal. [E!]
• Russell Crowe will no longer pour cash into the rugby team he owns, because it's time for "the business to stand on its own." [League HQ]
• This was in last week's Midweek Madness, but here it is again: Jennifer Aniston loves Pokies, the plastic nipples you slide into your bra. A source claims: "They really make the most of her assets when she's wearing a tight top." Eyeroll. [Star]
• Melrose Place and One Tree Hill on the CW? Snooze. [E!]
• Talk about assy: Marlon Brando and Robert Duvall used to moon people on the set of The Godfather. [Daily Express]
• Remember when Julia Ormond was going to be the Next Big Thing? She's back, after 10 years. "I needed breathing space," she says. [NY Mag]
• "The best gift to give is one where you actually listen to the person's desires and you think of them months before any kind of gift is actually needed—that's the best kind of gift there is: a thoughtful one. My favorite gift I've received is my dog—a chocolate lab named Esmerelda." — Anne Hathaway. [Elle.com]
• "We live in more of a pussy generation now, where everybody's become used to saying, 'Well, how do we handle it psychologically?' In those days, you just punched the bully back and duked it out. Even if the guy was older and could push you around, at least you were respected for fighting back, and you'd be left alone from then on." — Clint Eastwood. [Esquire]

• Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo: Dunzo! [TMZ]
  
• OMG. Was Joel Madden flirting with Lindsay Lohan? Apparently Nicole Richie was home with the baby and Joel was out when Paris Hilton sent Nic a text: "Lindsay was all over Joel!" Nicole tried calling and Joel didn't pick up. Is this how it's gonna be? [Star]
  
• Lindsay Lohan's father thinks someone is supplying LL with drugs and Janet Charlton has posted a picture of LL with Samantha Ronson with the words, "Michael, the answer could be right under your nose - or better still, Lindsay's nose." [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
  
• Is Mariah Carey pregnant? Apparently someone from her camp called famed L.A. baby boutique Petit Trésor and asked about (wait for it...) butterflies. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Mariah and new hubby Nick rented out Six Flags Magic Mountain last night so they could have a wedding celebration with their homies. Roller coasters? Just like MC's "Fantasy" video. Which came out in 1995. When Mariah was 25. And Nick Cannon was 15. Not that it matters. [TMZ]
  
• Oh, wait: Nick had the theme park shut down as a surprise for Mariah. That is sweet. These two just might melt your cold cold heart. [ET]
  
• John Mayer had a show in Orlando last night and totally kissed Jennifer Aniston backstage between songs. [People]

• Did Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker avoid each other at the Sex And The City premiere after-party?
• Britney Spears hit a red Ford Explorer last night. Just a fender-bender. [TMZ]
• And Britney's "tummy" looks "swollen" so now there are pregnancy rumors. Same old, same old. [Mirror]
• Pete Doherty played his first post-jail gig last night and thanked fans for their support while he was inside. It would have been awesome if he'd started playing Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues." [Mirror]
• Uh-oh: David Thomson, Canada's richest man, has split with his fiancée, former O.C. actress Kelly Rowan, just weeks after she gave birth to his child. WTF. [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which star of an upcoming blockbuster flick is a huge cad despite his image as a family man? Word is the actor is getting a little too touchy-feely with the ladies." [Rush & Molloy]
• Some conservative media whatchmacallit doesn't like Barbara Walters spilling her guts about her adulterous affair in her new book. "Barbara Walters is a shameless media whore," says Marc Dice of The Resistance. "Barbara has now sunk to the very level of other attention-starved celebrities such as Paris Hilton or even Steve-O from 'Jackass.'" Yeah... No.[Page Six]
• Ashley Olsen was seen on a date with an actor named Justin Bartha. Just so you know. [Page Six]
• Someone crushed Amanda Peet's baby stroller on an Amtrak train on Mother's Day. Boo. [Page Six]
• Does Diddy drink his own vodka, or does he prefer Malibu rum and pineapple? [Page Six]
• Two members of the '60s group The Turtles are suing Capitol Records over an Ice Cube song that samples their tunes. Cube's gonna have to shell out some dough, heh heh. [TMZ]
• Jennie Garth has signed on for the 90210 remake; now Tori Spelling is in talks to join the cast. Donna Martin graduates! [People]
• This is an actual headline: "Brody, Spencer Rekindle Their Bromance." Blerg. Brody Jenner has signed on to star in his own "unscripted" MTV series and it's possible that Spencer Pratt could be on the show. And yeah, the show is called Bromance. Try not to hurl. [E!]
• Actor James Garner (The Rockford Files, The Notebook) was hospitalized after suffering a minor stroke. [E!]
• Carmen Electra and her new fiancé Rob Patterson are already on the rocks, yawn. [Perez Hilton]
• Madonna is copying Oprah! She plans to build a school for girls in Malawi. [Reuters]
• Marisa Miller, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel are the hottest women in the world, according to the testosterone-fueled jackasses at Maxim. Just be blonde with big boobs and no hips or thighs and you, too can be on their pointless list. [People]
• Kim Kardashian and her siblings deny that they ran up more than $120,000 in charges on Brandy's credit card. This was back when Kim was a "stylist" and not whatever she is now. [People]
• Prepare yourself: Rumer Willis may be releasing a CD. [Perez Hilton]
• Ludacris went back to his old high school in Atlanta to find they'd painted his likeness in a mural and named the gym after him. [AP]
• Monty Python's John Cleese was ordered to pay his estranged wife £77,500 a month but he says his divorce from her is "worth every penny." [Telegraph]
• Is there another Marlon Brando love child? [Page Six]
• If you like Ed Westwick, Gossip Girl's Chuck Bass, you should click here. [ONTD]
• "All the men that like me are gay. It's true. I have a really strong gaydar. I do love gay men though." — Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham. [The Sun]