Collins is ready with examples:

"Do you want me to hold something?" he will inquire. "Are you cold?" "Would you like a biscuit?" Adrian Hallewell, a chauffeur in Yorkshire, who has known Bailey since he was a boy, told me, "He keeps a low profile, does he, Christopher."

It's interesting that Burberry chose Bailey — whose father was a carpenter, and whose mother worked as a window-dresser at Marks & Spencer — as its new creative director in 2001, at a time when the venerable English house was trying, artfully and carefully, to distance itself from the appropriation of its brand by a distinctly lower-class kind of customer.

In order to revive Burberry from a beside-the-point position as a legacy brand, then-C.E.O. Rose Marie Bravo made Burberry and its distinctive beige-and-red check ubiquitous — but the paradox of an upscale-but-instantly-recognizable brand is that if it becomes too popular, or suffers from the wrong kind of exposure, the hard-won "upscale" image can evaporate. (Louis Vuitton waged a long-term fight to win back its identification with exclusivity by ending department store sales in favor of only own-store retail in the 1980s, but some would argue that the company's famous monogram — or imitations of it — metastasized to a brand-harming extent during the recent economic boom.)

In England, Burberry had gone from outfitting royalty, military top brass, and explorers to being worn by reality television personalities and second-rate soap opera stars making their first public appearances following septum-repair surgeries. (That would be Danniella Westbrook, of EastEnders, pictured above in 2002 with her daughter.) It used to count Roald Amundsen, Robert Scott, and Sir Ernest Shackleton as customers; by 2002, it had Jade Goody and a contingent of xenophobic soccer hooligans who were particularly fond of a $90 plaid hat.

Burberry stopped making the hat. It also began to devote much of its energies to policing its brand — no more pet products "in the famous Burberry design," or "Chavalier" Vauxhall Chevaliers with customized Burberry paint jobs. (Incidentally, virtually every tacky-Burberry example Collins offers up, including the "Chavalier," Westbrook, and a photo of a woman with Burberry-check acrylic nails, was highlighted in a thoughtful post about the history of the brand and its increasing identification with "chav" and football culture on the blog Finally Woken last November.) After new C.E.O. Angela Ahrendts took over in 2006, she discontinued many licenses and product lines she felt did not represent that brand well, or distracted from its core luxury image: "Burberry used to do little bottles of whiskey," said Bailey, "We're not experts on whiskey, so why the hell would we do whiskey?" Burberry Prorsum, the high-end line founded under Bravo's watch, is now the company's moody torch-bearer. But Bailey, who is understandably sensitive to any accusation of classism in the company's repositioning, especially in the class-fraught British context, is hesitant to cast the change in terms of sidelining "undesirable" customers. "I think that probably a lot of it was counterfeit," says Bailey, of the various Burberry-ish clothing items the paparazzi snapped in the early 2000s. In fact, the designer counts spotting one of his authentic designs in "a kind of skanky pub" as a highlight of his career, so far:

Few things please Bailey more than encountering his work in the nooks and crannies of the British experience — a trenchcoat draped over a Westminster politician's arm, lining out; a checked scarf, worn as a hijab, in the immigration queue at Gatwick. A small triumph of his career was spotting a checked purse that he had designed tucked under a table at a bar in Yorkshire. "It was this kind of skanky pub, and all of a sudden I was like, 'It's actually amazing that this little baby thing that I work on with my gang goes out into the world and then finds its way back to my home town,' " he said. "You want to know the story behind it."

Before coming to Burberry, Bailey worked at Donna Karan, and for another great recent fashion revival case, Gucci under Tom Ford. Although he didn't take much from Ford's sexy Cosmo-cover-line aesthetic, Bailey undoubtedly experienced an object lesson in how to design a venerable house away from the brink of irrelevancy.

Like almost every luxury company known to man, Burberry is facing hard times right now because of the economic crisis; since last fall, the company has laid off employees, closed factories, and still saw a 2008 loss of $8 million. (Perhaps partly because, as Collins notes, the company moved into expensive new purpose-built headquarters in London last November.) Nonetheless, Burberry has fared well enough since listing on the London Stock Exchange in 2004. Today, the company made the news when it was forecast to crack the FTSE 100 by the end of this week. With the news that Jaeger-reviver Harold Tillman is buying the fusty, bankrupt British classic outerwear label Aquascutum — with plans for a grand shake-up in place, according to British Vogue — it's clear that there are plenty of others seeking to meet the same challenges Burberry faced so recently.

Check Mate: Burberry's Working-Class Hero [New Yorker]
Harold Tillman Acquires Acquascutum [Vogue UK]
Burberry To Check In To FTSE 100 [FT]
Thinking About Buying Burberry? [Finally Woken]

Roitfeld, the editor of Paris Vogue, is the subject of a fawning profile by Lisa Arnold in today's Times of London. "The Ultimate Style-Setter" traces Roitfeld's immense influence over the look of the coming season, from the high street to fashion's top lights. Not only are designers Roitfeld champions personally — like Christophe Decarnin at Balmain, and Riccardo Tisci at Givenchy — experiencing success, writes Arnold, but chain stores like Marks & Spencer are imitating Roitfeld's signature style.

It almost goes without saying that they are all pushing big shoulders and a whole lot of black.

Then there is the British high street. From Oasis's fitted dresses and Mango's outlandish furry coats to Topshop's leather jackets and Miss Selfridge's strong-shouldered blazer, white shirts and leather leggings, they are all referencing her. Even M&S is at it, juxtaposing sequins, leather and Roitfeld's trademark smoky eyes.

Roitfeld, who was rumored briefly late last year to be in the running to take Wintour's job, once compared Wintour to "a puppet" in the pages of New York magazine.

Anna Wintour is known not to love the press, and will likely retreat happily into her fortress of solitude on the 12th floor of the Condé Nast building as soon as the ink is dry on her contract. (Should, of course, the negotiations be successful.) What we've seen in recent months, with the public events and the film promotions and the television appearances, is the charm offensive of someone who is neither naturally very charming, nor easily charmed. Roitfeld could have merely looked on while her rumored rival twisted in discomfort; but instead, she made sure the Times of London just happened to have all these lovely things to say about her.

Because the thing is, this whole people-imitate-Carine thing is not news. We've read this very story before. So why did Roitfeld make sure this piece ran right now, the week of The September Issue's release?

Carine Roitfeld: The Ultimate Style Setter [ToL]
The Anti-Anna

Earlier: Anna Wintour: "I Reckon That Makes Me A Lukewarm Royalty From Outer Space With A Whip"
Being Anna: "Sometimes You Don't Love The Press"
3 Reasons We Hope The Wintour/Roitfeld Rumor Is True

• The economic situation has encouraged a measure of conservatism in fashion, but this is extreme. Versace's Fall 2009 ads with Gisele Bundchen in a jewel-toned dress under strong directional light look exactly like Versace's Spring 2009 ads with Gisele Bundchen in a jewel-toned dress under strong directional light. [Fashionologie]

• Gisele ain't pregnant, after all. [AP]
• The recession's latest casualty is Belgian designer Veronique Branquinho. After 11 years in business, the Antwerp-based designer is being forced to stop production of her namesake line due to a drop in Fall 2009 orders and a number of canceled orders and non-payments from Spring 2009. Branquinho has a fall-back position: artistic director of the Belgian leather goods brand Delvaux. [WWD]
• British designer Emma Cook is also discontinuing her line for fall. Cook herself did not make the announcement, but a manager at Manhattan boutique Opening Ceremony mentioned the news in an interview. [Paper]
• Puma has apparently listed all but one of its 11 U.K. stores with real estate agents — although the company claims it has yet to finalize decisions about store closures. [FT]
• Donatella Versace, on why the 80s trend is less interesting than techno fabrics: "I knew that trend was coming. I knew exactly when every designer was going to start doing it. And I couldn't, because I was with Gianni doing the '80s, in the '80s. I have so many pieces in the archives that I could put right out on the runway and they'd be perfect. [laughs] In general, I think, yes, we can look back, but not that much. It's too literal. Like shoulder pads. We belonged to that time. But for me, it doesn't make sense today. You can play with it for one season, but it's not going to be revolutionary. I think we should move forward, not back. To define the era we live in is very difficult. How do we define it? We define it by music. That's different today. We listen to different music than we used to 10 years ago. Fashion is struggling to define itself today. For me, I'm concentrating more on fabrics, on the technological aspect of fabrics." [Interview]
• Which, you know, totally fits, because the iPhone is the future of the fashion economy. [WWD]
• A man named Jinyoung Jo has designed a Chanel concept car in South Korea. His effort, the Fiole, comes with crystal double-C logos on the grill and on the wheels. It's a pretty snazzy little space-age sports car, to be sure, but what we wonder is: can anyone just up and design a Chanel something? Trademark and copyright protection law would suggest otherwise. It's not clear if Jo had Chanel's approval to make this car. [Sassybella]
• And we all know Chanel polices its intellectual property like the proverbial hawk. The company just announced a lawsuit against a Manhattan jewelry store, Joseph Anthony, for allegedly selling counterfeit Chanel baubles. [NY Post]
• Barbara Hulanicki, on her customers, past and present, and why she hates Barbie: "In that period in England, they hadn't traveled at all and they were very green. And now they're brainwashed by Barbie doll...She's been so damaging. [CHUCKLES] She has such abominable taste." [Interview]
• A see-through swimsuit (for efficient tanning, duh) sounds like just the sort of thing Barbie would approve of. And it sounds like melanoma. [Telegraph]
• Carlos Falchi, known for his extremely expensive handbags and penchant for python skin, is to be the next designer to have a Target GO! International accessories collection. Falchi's line for Target will be available in stores and online from October 11, and will comprise 13 pieces. The styles include jewel-toned faux-snakeskin pieces, and some bags which incorporate patchwork. [WWD]
• Marios Schwab, newly named creative director of Halston, on how he is not Roy Halston Frowick, reincarnated: "It would be a little bit weird to ask a designer who is exactly like Halston to design Halston, don't you think? I mean, I don't think Halston, if he were alive today, would be doing the seventies in 2009, you know? And anyway, there's so much more potential for an interesting result if the designer is versatile. From the perspective of the label, I think they wanted someone who understood the DNA of the brand and shared something of it, but who could bring a new idea." [Style.com]
• H&M opened its 10th Manhattan store, on the Upper East Side. [WWD]
• J. Crew earned $20.4 million in the quarter ended May 2 — a decline of 33% on last year's results, but still ahead of analysts' expectations. CEO Millard Drexler says the chain is sopping up customers from higher-end boutiques who've been priced out of their usual market. [WSJ]
• Tiffany's reported earnings of $24.3 million, which isn't too shabby for a company known for its diamonds in this economy of lowered expectations. But it's still a decline of 62% on last year's profits. Sales fell 22% overall — and 31% in the Americas. Among the worst-hit was its Manhattan flagship, where sales declined by 42%. [The Street]
• Bankrupt men's clothier Hartmarx won extra time to negotiate a possible sale to private equity firm Emerisque. Emerisque has pledged not to liquidate the business, should its bid prove successful. Hartmarx's main debt obligation is to Wells Fargo; employees at its Chicago area factory have threatened to sit-in if the business folds. [WWD]
• Natalie Suliman, a British lingerie model, claims that not only were her breasts not retouched for a Marks & Spencer billboard, but that she wasn't even wearing so much as a spot of body makeup. Or moisturizer. (Just to be clear: That. Does. Not. Happen. And how would the model know what happened in post-pro, anyway?) [Daily Mail]

• In a stunning revelation that will surprise no-one, Karl Lagerfeld's ex-assistant says the Kaiser is "an unbelievable narcissist." Who "needs an eternity to get ready in the morning." [Blackbook]

• Hilary Swank on the tough reality of Cannes: "I'm starving and the music's so loud I can't hear a thing." [WWD]
• In a plan expected to be announced today at City Hall, New York city boutiques will throw a party to kick off the next fashion week, on September 10. Anna Wintour and Mayor Michael Bloomberg are behind the idea; stores will stay open till midnight running promotions and designers will be in attendance. Fashion Week is traditionally an industry event focused on buyers and editors. Maybe this could be a good way to capitalize on an opportunity to target the actual public, and retail? [Cityroom]
• Ending a long search, Halston has chosen London designer Marios Schwab as its new creative director. The label had been rudderless since the departure of Marco Zanini in early 2008. [WWD]
• Some contend that Michelle Obama's purported magical effect on clothing sales is a media construct. J. Crew's CEO, for example, believes that while the First Lady has given the company vast free publicity by favoring its cardigans, she has not necessarily driven sales. This is a view backed up by JP Morgan's research report on the company. Several J. Crew items the first lady has worn are even on clearance. (Of course, it's entirely possible that many of the younger, less-established designers Michelle Obama has favored would have a different experience to report. Jason Wu and Thakoon have to be feeling her patronage in their sales.) [The Big Money]
• That doesn't stop the fashion world from going giddy over Mrs. Obama. [WWD]
• French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld: "Fashion is not about clothes, it is about a look." [Guardian]
• Anna Wintour's 60 Minutes segment was watched by 10.2 million on television, and drew an unknown number of online viewers. [Folio]
• Tim Gunn just got a new apartment — "Most of the apartment is aubergine. It's like living in a bruise." In between repainting, he's traveling to promote the new season of Project Runway, and pick designers for the next. He also recommends you read Adam's Navel by Michael Sims. [Blogging Project Runway]
• Carolina Herrera, who is often glimpsed in a crisp, white shirt, gets hers at the Gap. Sort of — designer friend Patrick Robinson sends her them by the dozen, and she gets them monogramamed. But if you, mere pleb lacking designer friends, want to buy them off the rack, they cost $44. [Style.com]
• Manhattan might be getting a Nordstrom Rack. [WWD]
• Angelina Jolie's stylist seems surprisingly grounded, for a woman whose most recent splurge was an $1,100 Gucci dress. (Which she is thinking of returning, since she saw a similar style at H&M.) [LA Times]
• The New York Times' Cintra Wilson cast her critical-shopping eye on Derek Lam. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with Mr. Lam's desire to create ruling-class finery; it's lovely, top-shelf stuff, and he should make no bones about the fact that his creations are not warm, fun, affordable or sensuous," writes Wilson. "They are formal, uptight gift wraps — silk boxes in which women may demurely present themselves, with politesse, deference and flawless snobbery, to a world of rich and powerful men." [NY Times]
• First-quarter earnings for Philips-Van Heusen, parent company of Calvin Klein and Van Heusen, among other brands, sank by 47% on last year's numbers. Sales declined by almost 11% during the period. [Crain's]
• Key words for this Marks & Spencer commercial, starring Twiggy: "value" nostalgia recession "quality" penny pennies prices trust penny. [Guardian]
• Current Marks & Spencer print model Marie Helvin is 56, and and pretty fantastic. "Please shoot me if I'm doing this in my 80s," she tells the Times of London. "Anyway, one day I won't be able to...I've had an amazing life, done lots of fantastic things. I never wanted children, so that's not an issue." She's also open about having had an abortion. [Times of London]

• Unlike her husband, who plans on doing zero promotional work for his Adidas line, Victoria Beckham is in New York to unveil a new 20 ft Emporio Armani ad at Macy's. [UPI]

• Posh is also expanding her fashion reach, manufacturing her dVb jeans in-house in London, and signing a new sunglasses deal with maker Cutler & Gross. [WWD]
• Around 200 people waited on the street for Michelle Obama to emerge from the US mission to the UN on Tuesday. The First Lady wore the same Tracy Feith dress she wore to a post-inaugural prayer breakfast in January. [WWD]
• Three words: Target. Anna. Sui. [WWD]
• Did Kate Moss really refuse to shake Agyness Deyn's hand in the receiving line at the Met ball on Monday? [Racked]
• And did Gisele Bundchen and Bar Refaeli — ex- and current girlfriend, respectively, of Leonardo DiCaprio — have a frosty encounter at the end of the night? That sounds kind of like the last party I went to, only it was on a tiny fire escape, not at the Temple of Dendur, and the awkward partner-in-common pairing was male, not female, and, oh yeah, nobody was wearing Versace. [The Observer]
• Madonna apparently says Jesus Luz's name in the Lamb of God pronunciation, not the From South America pronunciation. [WWD]
• Dasha Zhukova, a socialite who took over Katie Grand's job at Pop despite having no editorial experience, said at Rodarte's Met afterparty, "Are we in a basement? Because this is the chicest underground party I've been to. Literally, underground." The venue, the SubMercer, is indeed underground. Well done, Dasha. [Style.com]
• Pierre Cardin was hospitalized in Marseille after a fainting episode earlier this week. He is expected to be discharged today. What, you wonder, does Pierre Cardin amuse himself with in his twilight years? Why, the meticulous restoration of the chateau of the Marquis de Sade. [AP]
• The new issue of Worldwide Women's Wear Digest is out, for anyone who tires of fashion's efforts at self-parody. [WWWD]
• Simon Doonan of Barneys asked Stella McCartney what the deal is with her and jumpsuits when the designer made an appearance at the store in New York. "I love them because they're just so effortless," McCartney replied. She then mentioned that at the Met ball, to which she wore a jumpsuit, she required the assistance of a friend every time she needed to use the rest room. Effortless, indeed. [Fashionista]
• Barneys, meanwhile, is said to be looking to close two of its seven stores, including the one it opened just last year in Las Vegas. Rumors have flown as of late about the luxury retailer's troubles. [WSJ]
• Designer Antonio Berardi says it took three attempts to be accepted at Central St. Martins, England's top fashion school — but not because his work wasn't up to scratch (he was already working in John Galliano's atelier). "I was 18 stone [252 lbs] and people didn't really see me, even in class. And, then, all of a sudden it changed and that was equally weird." [Telegraph]
• Anya Hindmarch's London Pont St. store was burglarized on Monday, and the thieves made off with just under $70,000 worth of spring and summer stock. It is the sixth time Hindmarch's stores have been targeted. You might think she'd beef up security, no? [Vogue UK]
• In a surprise move, the bankrupt Filene's Basement chain will not be liquidated by its new owners. The much-beloved designer discounter, which sells unwanted end-of-season wares from department stores at significantly lower prices, found its business fell off as high-end department stores scrambling for customers practically matched Filene's level of discounting. But the new owners, Crown Acquisitions and the Chetrit Group, who picked up the chain for only $22 million, plan to inject $25 million into inventory and marketing. Their focus will be on what they see as Filene's Basement's core customer — city-dwellers looking for a bargain. "The weakest stores they had were in the suburbs," explained the head of Crown Acquisitions. [NY Post]
• A French e-tailer is allowing users to buy items from its site for any sum they wish — so long as it's over 1 Euro and they order a maximum of two. Since this is a recession, and all. [Reuters]
• Olivier Theyskens says all that talk about him becoming creative director of Halston, now that he's been let go from Nina Ricci, is just rumors. [The Cut]
• Serena Williams did three hours on the Home Shopping Network and moved 25,000 units of her clothing and accessories. Not bad for an afternoon's work. [PR Newswire]
• Marks & Spencer, Britain's biggest lingerie retailer, has decided that all you ladies with curves should pay an extra £2 for the privilege of wearing anything larger than their D-sized bras. [Daily Mail]
• Model Katie Fogarty, on Internet folks watching videos of her fall on the Prada runway: "Whatever lightens people's days!" We're glad she sees it as a no harm, no foul situation. (And we're especially glad Fogarty didn't actually come to any harm during that mishap.) [Teen Vogue]
• True Religion jeans reported a 10% jump in earnings for the first quarter of this year, on the back of a 19% iincrease in sales. [The Street]
• Steve Madden's earnings for the same period jumped 68%. Profits were $6.6 million. [WWD]
• Kenneth Cole lost $8.2 million in the same quarter. Sales decreased by 16%. [The Street]

• Packing for tedious summits as a political wife must be that much harder knowing that Michelle Obama will be there, ready to rock some gorgeous outfit at the drop of a discussion paper. [Telegraph]

• Pamela Anderson is going to do an eco-friendly vegan line with Heatherette co-creator Richie Rich. Something tells me Pamela Anderson and Richie Rich will find a way to extract the air of dull virtuousness that still clings to eco-conscious clothing, and replace it with a little sex appeal. And a lot of sparkly gold lamé. [Hollyscoop]
• "The spot is a subtle tribute to the genius of Serge Gainsbourg and to the sensuality of Brigitte Bardot." Says. The. Director. Of the. Lindsay. Lohan. Fornarina. Ad. Well. He. Would. Say that. Wouldn't. He. Question mark. [WWD]
• Topshop is really truly absolutely finally opening its doors in New York's SoHo. As rumored, Kate Moss will do the ribbon-cutting on Thursday morning, before a huddled mass of 3,356,890,765 fashionistas yearning to be free/awaiting the slightest provocation to stampede. [WWD]
• Guardian writer Emily Rotberg has crucial suggestions for anyone planning to brave the Topshop melee on opening morning. Bring disinterested friends, Rotberg writes, to act as your runners and placeholders in various in-store queues, like the line for the fitting rooms, and don't bother asking the sales staff for help. "They are present to demonstrate how to wear a £10 shoelace as a headband," says Rotberg. Not to offer anyone assistance. Happy (Top)shopping! [Guardian]
• Valentino dropped into terrible Meatpacking district club 1OAK (which stands for "1 Of A Kind," a factoid I can't seem to scrub from my brain because of the very absurdity of a preposterous club in a neighborhood filled with identical preposterous clubs claiming some kind of singularity) for its gay-themed night. Then the designer left. Which might mean he was unimpressed with the level of talent available, or or that his 76-year-old ears were unwilling to weather 1OAK's musical onslaught. [P6]
• Marks & Spencer, the biggest British department store chain, reported a smaller-than-expected drop in same-store sales for the fourth quarter. After experiencing sales declines of 7.1% over the holiday quarter, analysts expected a similar slump in the numbers for the three months ended March 28 — but the company's comps only fell by 4.2%. [WSJ]
• Seven For All Mankind is going to do a 30-style footwear range for fall. Price range: $235-$550. [WWD]
• Pierre Cardin told Fantastic Man magazine that he's ready to sell his empire of licenses. For about $1.3 billion dollars. [P6]
• Lord & Taylor is instituting a company-wide salary freeze this year. [WSJ]
• In news that may shock and surprise you, the Italian luxury industry trade group, Altagamma, says it expects the $230 billion global fashion and luxury goods market to decline this year. I know. [WWD]
• A girl interned at Teen Vogue for a week, and spent a lot of time eating cupcakes, organizing accessories, and looking at pictures of models on the internet. You can tell from the accompanying pictures that she chose her outfits very carefully. Wise move. [Teen Vogue]

• A celeb designer we could actually get behind: Helen Mirren! If given a line for Marks & Spencer, she says she'd call it, "DWS: Dresses With Sleeves." [Telegraph]
• Meanwhile, addressing the crucial shortage of celebrity fragrances, Patrick Dempsey launches "Unscripted," replete with "lavender top notes, fig mid notes, and patchouli finish." Quoth the Can't Buy Me Love star, “Sometimes people are scared off by patchouli, but I think most people secretly like it!” Think again, mister. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Brit presenter Alexa Chung: "I stopped modelling because it was just so stifling. It is very hard, when something is your passion, to be controlled and told how to do it and what to wear." Um, exactly which part was she "passionate" about? [Telegraph]
• Vogue editor-at-XXL Andre Leon Talley is sporting a rhinestone-bedazzled "Obama" hat, overcoat. President-elect backs away slowly. [WSJ]

• Michael Jackson is auctioning off his iconic "Billie Jean" glove! The embattled King of Pop must be, ahem, embattled. [WWLTV]
• While we have no idea whether or not Michelle would actually wear Khuraira's new bronze "Lady Obama" lipstick, she'd probably approve of a percentage of profits going to a breast cancer charity. [Nylon]
• Victoria Beckham's dresses are selling like gangbusters stateside! [WWD]
• Maybe it's because Posh has her design priorities: easy access. "I knew I would spend a lot on the best-quality zips because, like many women, I’ve had my share of crappy zips. I wanted a zip that undoes from both ends because then you can either put the dress on over your head or, if you don’t want to mess up your hair, you can step into it. And also, you know, going to the loo wouldn’t be this whole big palaver." [The Sun]
• Conde Nast's new odds-beating Love mag has a secret blog. [Fashionista]
• Celebs are all about odd-looking custom knits. [Telegraph]
• Speaking of bespoke: Will Savile Row's custom tailors be a recession casualty? [Independent]
• Meanwhile, mild winters spell doom for Russia's fur industry; probably still spells doom for animals. [Reuters]
• Also hurting: the overseas factories who supply U.S. stores. [FT]
• Ugh. Theory lays off 50. [WWD]
• Oscar de la Renta, however, has hired 15! [Fashion Week Daily]
• As we suspected, the Leger bandage dress is apparently impossible to eat in. [Daily Mail]
• Conversely, sales of men's XL clothes are way up in England. [Telegraph]
• Fashionistas are pissed that Marc Jacobs has canceled his annual holiday party. But could he really top last year's camel toe? [WWD]
• Rich Parisienne scores some haute couture bargain. "It must be because of the crisis everybody is talking about." [Reuters]
• They say YSL's art collection is good. Judge for yourselves! [Vanity Fair]
• Given that Nike's collaborating with APC, you know the resulting sneakers will be chic, simple, and way out of our price range. [VogueUK]
• "Have you seen a toddler? They're all bums and tums. But if you look at a mannequin of a toddler, it's a little shrunken adult body, like a little alien. If you're making clothes and using that as the model, it's not going to work." That's why Janice Wang makes realistic fit mannequins. [FT]
• Save the planet, celeb style! "The event not only showed off McDonald’s exquisite pendants featuring pavé diamond bears on top of geodes, but also raised awareness for Conservation International, an organization that protects the Ursus Maritimus as well as other endangered species." [WWD]
• New "invisible panties" are way less sexy, more practical than they sound! [Daily Mail]
• When you remember that awful urine-drinking Diesel campaign, it's no shocker that the film for their new kids' line is totally freaky: "The finale is unnerving, as the whole cast—bathed in an unearthly, almost hellish glow—start screaming. " [AdWeek]
• Mario Testino's new Burberry ads, featuring moddles in a plant nursery, is somewhat less alarming. [WWD]

• Katie Holmes is the new face of Miu Miu. Srsly? [New York Magazine]
• Marc Jacobs' company has been accused of bribing a state official so the designer "could get a desirable venue for his fashion show." They're paying $1 million in fines. [TMZ]
• In happier news, Marc is open to marriage! Even if California isn't. “I refuse to let anyone tell me who I can and cannot marry, and who I can and cannot love. That’s just bullshit...Wherever we’d have to go. If he’s up for it, I’m up for it.” [New York Magazine]
• Are women overreacting about American Apparel's latest ads? Reverse Cowgirl's Susannah Breslin thinks so. Personally, I just hate leggings as pants! Seriously, we're talking blouses tucked into leggings, kids. [Reverse Cowgirl]
• Jessica Biel is not, we repeat, not, designing handbags for William Rast. [Fashionista via People]

• Steve & Barry's files for bankruptcy for second time. [WWD]
• Leighton Meester continues the strange Gossip Girl cast-sneaker trend as she becomes the new face of Reebok. [Fashionista]
• Karl Lagerfeld just designed a piece of French currency. "The limited-edition collector’s coin, which features Chanel’s signature quilted pattern on one side and the head of Coco Chanel on the other, was created to commemorate the 125th anniversary of Ms. Chanel’s birthday." [WSJ]
• Celeb spawn Julia Restoin-Roitfeld and Dakota Johnson Griffith are the new models for Mango. [WWD]
• Diane Von Furstenberg: "My mission is to make women feel more confident. I do it through fashion. I do it through philanthropy. I do it through everything I do. I didn't know what I wanted to do when I grew up, but I knew the kind of woman I wanted to become and I became that woman: an independent woman who was in the driving-seat. Because I am in fashion I have given other women tools to become that also." [Telegraph]
• In a rather less vague example of this, Eileen Fisher gives out this year's Business Grants: “With the credit market tightening and small businesses finding it increasingly difficult to secure financing, it is important to support woman entrepreneurs more than ever." [WWD]
• PETA comes down hard on "bunny butcher" Donna Karan. [Racked]
• George David, the ahem "colorful" head of Marks & Spencer's Per Una brand, steps down. [Guardian]
• In other M&S news: this affordable bespoke shirt idea seems genius. [Telegraph]
• Sarah Palin sports wrist corsage to Alaska's birthday party. From her date?! [LA Times]
• Meanwhile at his own birthday party, Christian Siriano — "pausing for impromptu dance-offs with friends and later, grinning over platters of cupcakes festooned with sparklers" — was feted by the MisShapes. [Observer]
• Many are boycotting Australian wool because of a "barbaric" process designed to prevent maggots; wool producers say there's no alternative. [Reuters]
• Naomi Campbell to host Miami photo retrospective...of herself. [Yahoo]
• The Limited experiences major net fall. [WSJ]
• How to accessorize your Prada phone? The Prada Link, of course — "a braceletlike leather and metal timepiece that alerts Prada phone users to calls and SMS messages." [WWD]
• Proenza Schouler designer Lazaro Hernandez raises his own turkeys, which for some reason, makes sense. [New York]
• Recycled soda can lingerie. Green? Sure. Cool? Very. Comfy? Yeah, not so much. [InventorSpot]
• On the Sonia Rykiel retrospective: "She did conceptualism before the conceptualists, Japanese before the Japanese, minimalism before the minimalists. So in a way she smoothed the way for all movements in contemporary fashion." Well, il faut pas exaggerer! [Guardian]

• "Rumor has it" that Madonna-maybe-estranged-hubby Guy Ritchie is gifting the material 50-year-old with "a specially designed, bespoke diamond necklace from Bulgari worth, £250,000" for her Golden tomorrow. [ElleUK]
• Apparently Diddy's "I Am King" campaign will involve Bond-like shots of him in a dinner jacket hanging with models and getting out of a chopper. Yawn! We were so psyched for crowns and ermine-trimmed robes! [The Life Files]
• Designer Rachel Roy does good. "For Spring 2009, Roy is introducing green designs, which she will continue to selectively incorporate in seasons to come. She will donate 100% of the proceeds to OrphanAid Africa, an organization that aims to help orphans in Ghana to grow up in healthy environments that provide quality care and education." Um, she's also partnering with Grey Goose Vodka for Fashion Week. [Fashion Week Daily]

• The founder of western shirt company Rockmount Ranch Wear has died. Don't be sad, he was 107! Jack Weil "was the first to design Western shirts with snap buttons and also created pockets with jagged, sawtooth-pattern flaps. The snaps are often topped with real or synthetic mother of pearl. Weil's shirts have been worn in movies by Elvis Presley, Clark Gable and Heath Ledger (Brokeback Mountain)." Most recently, Rockmount designed shirts for Colorado's House delegation for the Democratic National Convention in Denver later this month. The company is still family-run; until his death, Weil was still CEO, now his grandson ihas taken over. [Houston Chronicle]
• Nanette Lepore is presenting one of her signature retro shapes, the 'Unfaithful Shift," in red to support cancer charity Gilda's Club International. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Model Erin O'Connor's auctioning 30 items from her wardrobe, including a bag that was a gift from Kaiser Karl himself and gowns by Mouret and Galliano. She's selling the garments to benefit the British Fashion Council, which "provides support for up-and-coming designers" and, incidentally, because they don't fit anymore. Which I'm guessing means they won't fit anyone else, either. [BlackBook]
• If we'd thought about it, we'd frankly have thought that Lilly Pulitzer already made the fragrance equivalent of her frumpy Palm Beach WASP togs, but apparently not: the pink and green doyenne is launching three scents, Beachy, Squeeze and Wink. Why hasn't she launched a perfume before? "“They all stunk!” she said with a laugh during an interview at her Palm Beach, Fla., home, Casa Loca." [WWD]
• Back to School doesn't seem to be helping Abercrombie and Fitch: "Teen clothing retailer Abercrombie & Fitch Co (ANF.N: Quote, Profile, Research, Stock Buzz) reported a lower quarterly profit on Friday and forecast full-year earnings below analysts' estimates, as the weak U.S. economy leads consumers to cut back on buying clothes." [Reuters]
• The return of Haltson! The ultimate 70s brand is back: check em out at Barneys or, more realistically, Net-a-Porter. [Fashionista]
• Brit label Sinha-Stanic gets backing from Cotton (the Fabric of Our Lives.) [VogueUK]
• Venerable British retailer Marks and Soencer courts teachers' wrath by trying to make kids like them. via latest school uniforms. 'The "Blazer for iPod", which is part of the shop's 2008 Back to School collection, has been branded irresponsible" by teacher's organizations, which are "concerned the new jacket, which has built in controls and hides the ear phone wire in the lapels, will encourage youngsters to flout school rules by listening to music in class." Gosh, in our day all they had to worry about was guys wearing caps in the classroom! [Telegraph]
• Penney's profits plummet. [WWD]
• "Wardrobe malfunction" has been added to the Chambers Dictionary. Under "anachronism" we hope. [Fashionista]
• Been dreaming of a custom Goyard trunk? Yeah, us neither, but if you're extremely rich, you can do this at Barneys for a limited time next month. [Fashion Week Daily]

Derick Chetty of the Toronto Star reports that while many a man might well get downright excited about buying a new suit or a well-cut shirt, there is just something about the thought of buying new underwear that makes men go, Uh, I'd rather not.

Chetty hypothesizes that perhaps the way to trick men into buying new underwear is to design skivvies in bright colors and childlike/ironic patterns, which is exactly what the Ginch Gonch brand does. (The styles, some of which are seen below, have names like Big Bang and Crotch Rocket.) Question is: Would you want to see a man in these? Do you know men who would want to see themselves in these? And most importantly, would they make someone like Jeremy Paxman feel adequately supported? (Like the folks at The Telegraph, we'd have to agree that a classic brief will probably make a man feel the most safe, if not also the least, er, flappy.) What do you think about what men wear down there?

Feathers of Fire Sports Brief, $31.50; Painted Tiger Sports Brief, $31.50
Crotch Rocket Sports Brief, $27; Pretty Kitty Lowrise, $27

Big Bang Star Sports Brief, $27; Oil Slicker Brief, $23.50

Western Star Brief, $27

Introducing The Nation's Fancy Pants [Telegraph]
A brief history of pants: Why Men's Smalls Have Always Been A Subject Of Doncern [Independent]
Why Men Hate to Buy Underwear [Toronto Star]

• Dita von Teese is collaborating with Wonderbra on a lingerie collection to be called — so original! — Wonderbra by Dita von Teese. Um, what would Dita von Teese know about needing a Wonderbra? [Vogue UK]
  
• BBC reporter Jeremy Paxman, no stranger to calling attention to the pressing news stories of our time, is currently shifting the focus to the problem of...men's underwear. A letter he wrote to Marks & Spencer CEO Stuart Rose was printed in today's Times of London: "Like very large numbers of men in this country I have always bought my socks and pants [that's Britspeak for underwear, FYI] at Marks & Sparks...I have noticed that something very troubling has happened. There's no other way to put this. Their pants no longer provide adequate support." [Vogue UK]
  
• Scary: Designer Vivienne Tam has designed Mickey and Minnie Mouse new costumes for the Chinese New Year celebration at Disney China. Scarier: Replicas of the outfits are on sale in Tam's retail stores. [AP]

• Katie Couric's style tips for how to not look old: "Number one, shorten your skirt. Right where the knee melts into the lower leg is the perfect length; if it's too long, it's very mumsy. Number two, change from a dark burgundy lipstick to a pink. It's the easiest thing you can do. And number three, have great skin. The better the skin, the less make-up you need, and there's no need to pile on the foundation." Um, have great skin. What a great beauty tip! Up there with "avoid being born to someone with bad genes." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Ooooh: our favorite accessories brand we can't afford, Loeffler Randall, is debuting a swimwear line. Good thing we do not wear bathing suits! [WWD]
• Are women rejecting cheap shoes? [Independent]
• Nahhh, probably not. [LATimes]
• Where's the best place for a designer to open up a flagship boutique in Amsterdam? The red light district, of course. [Reuters]
• All this "feed the malnourished models" outrage and Erin O'Connor still thinks she is fat. [Independent]
• We think granny panties are actually sort of sexy, so fuck you. [Sassybella]
• "Little girls hear 'R-E-S-P-E-C-T' and don't know that it isn't an 'American Idol' song." Sigh. [LA Times]

• Rumor has it that Victoria Beckham will follow her appearance on the cover of Elle and the Marc Jacobs ad campaigns with the April Vogue cover. [Sassybella]
  
• Speaking of: "No size zeros here!" say the Spice Girls when interviewed alongside Roberto Cavalli by International Herald Tribune fashion critic Suzy Menkes in Milan yesterday. Um, sure. [IHT]
  
• Alessandra Ambrosio is the latest Victoria's Secret angel to get knocked up. Ambrosio is allegedly "several" months along. And to whom did she choose to confide this intimate knowledge? The Hilton sisters, of course. [Page Six]
  
• Sucks to be Bergdorf Goodman's mens fashion director Tommy Fazio: Sucker got ousted from his front-row seat at the Versace's menswear show Saturday so that Beyonce's bodyguard could have some place to sit. Yeah, maybe you wondered where Beyonce gets off thinking she needs a bodyguard in a room full of emaciated models and juice-fasting gays, but you can never be too careful these days, what with the whole Benazir Bhutto thing. [Page Six]

• French Vogue editor-in-chief Carine Roitfeld's daughter Julia Restoin-Roitfeld is designing the Fashion Week invites for both Peter Som and Frank Tell. We'd maybe chalk this up to nepotism, but Jesus Christ, invites? Do we even care? Why are we even reading this? Oh right, because it's Carine Roitfeld's daughter.[Daily Chic]
• Yves Saint Laurent designer Stefano Pilati thinks he's super-duper hi-tech. Why, you might ask? Because he's showing his menswear collection this season in a short film. Wow. Next he's going to tell us he's traded in his cassette tapes for these newfangled things called compact discs. [Vogue UK]
• Gucci is issuing a limited edition accessories line, Gucci Hearts NY, to be sold exclusively in the Gucci 5th avenue flagship store. Somehow we think tourists are being targeted with this one? [Fashion Week Daily]
• Coldwater Creek's profits are in the toilet. Is global warming taking a toll on the Christmas sweater market? [The Street]
• English retailer Marks & Spencer has teamed with Oxfam to launch a new initiative where customers get M&S gift certificates in exchange for bringing in clothes to donate to Oxfam. But in case you were wondering, lingerie, underwear, swimwear, hosiery and socks can't be donated. Um, thank goodness. [Guardian]
• Lover of the dance Calvin Klein designer Francisco Costa is designing the costumes for the 27th-annual Elisa Monte Dance Gala, which begins on Friday at The Ailey Theatre in New York. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Burberry stock fell by 10% yesterday. Bet they're missing the chavs now! [FT]
• Ben Harper: Likes Lanvin! [WWD, sub req'd]
• January 23 is both the day of Valentino's couture show and the day of his retirement. Dude's been retiring longer than Cher. [Vogue UK]
• Dolce & Gabbana have collaborated with 20year old artist Alessandro Pezzati, who created hand-painted t-shirts for their menswear collection inspired by "found items." In other words, you can now buy a really expensive cashmere tee with a picture of garbage on it. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Model Coco Rocha: Enjoys a good spritz. [BellaSugar]
• 80s trend we'd rather not revisit... [Sassybella]

• Britney Spears has been served with a copyright infringement injunction by Louis Vuitton. See, she drove a pink Hummer with a faux Murakami-for-Vuitton cherry print dashboard in the video to her 2005 single "Do Somethin'." You can't really see the dashboard very closely in the video, not that you'd notice because you're too busy thinking, "Jesus fuck she looked like that once?" [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• The all-black choir at the Victoria's Secret show last week was lip-synching. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• If Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour has never heard of you, your fifty grand will not help you buy your way into fancy events she hosts. God, she's so principled. [NY Post]
  
• Christian Lacroix on exercise: "I don't do it. It would hurt me. I would die from it, I'm afraid." Amen to that. [Telegraph]
  
• Jude Law is signed on to be the "international 'face'" of British menswear label Alfred Dunhill, a gig for which he is rumored to be receiving seven figures. His co-star in the print ads is a dog. [Telegraph]

• Oscar de la Renta has inked a licensing deal to do a fur line. Um, Oscar, you've heard of PETA, right? Have fun with that. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Kate Moss: the latest face of Donna Karan! We wonder if this means that Donna has made Kate go and get some homeopathic treatment for, um, that little "problem" of hers through Karan's Urban Zen initiative. [WWD, 1st item]
• Elle Macpherson; "I don't buy fashion anymore, I buy art." Don't bite the hand that paid for all that "art," sweetie! Or wait, actually, bite the shit out of it, what do we care. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Marc Jacobs on his hypothetical reality show: "What really troubles me about some of these shows is that the entertainment comes from putting other people down." [Vogue UK]
• Model Laura Bailey says she's been dropped from the latest advertising campaign for English department store Marks & Spencer because she is pregnant. They say no, she was just "unavailable" for the shoot. Um, that's a new one! [Vogue UK]
• A new line of panties with built-in corsets are being manufactured only in US sizes 1-4. Because clearly those are the sizes in dire need of corseting. Clearly. [Sassybella]