• Karl Lagerfeld gave SpongeBob SquarePants a makeover for a charity auction, resulting in this little charmer, which sold for €1,000. [WWD]

• Zac Posen, who two weeks ago announced a lower-priced line, Z Spoke, will do a line for Target in the U.S. (He already designed a capsule collection for Target's Australian outpost in 2008.) Zac Posen for Target Go International will hit stores on April 25 of next year. Rodarte for Target goes on sale this December, at last. [WWD]
• Even though it's late November in sunny London, Kate Moss is allegedly planning an outdoor dinner party. Her nefarious plan? The supermodel, whose recent choice, in an interview, of a notorious eating disorder sufferers' slogan as her motto we highlighted, wants to be photographed eating food. [Mirror]
• The verdict on "Black Friday" post-Thanksgiving sales: an "unexceptional yet decent" $41.2 billion was spent. [WWD]
• Both potential buyers of the bankrupt house of Christian Lacroix failed to meet a new, extended deadline to provide the bankruptcy court with guarantees of their capital. If the company is not sold, the current owners, the Falic Group, will likely go forward with their preferred scenario, in which only 11 key staff are retained, and the brand is either auctioned off to cover debts, or turned into a licensing machine for scarves and perfumes. [AFP]
• Patrick Dempsey stars with his wife, Jillian, in his new Avon perfume ad. Because this scent is "about two people and the power of the relationship." [People]
• Sonia Rykiel's H&M lingerie line will be launched this December with a fashion show at the Grand Palais. The models will walk on moving floats that travel around a fantasy Parisian streetscape, dominated by a 30 meter Eiffel Tower made from 25 km of wire and fairy lights. Trees will have balloon canopies, and the Café de Flore will be mocked up as the Café Flirt. Also, imagine 6 meter poodles and 2.5 meter bunnies. Best part? It'll be streamed live on the mighty Internet. [SB]
• The pink-and-black '50s-themed collection goes on sale this Saturday in more than 1,500 H&M boutiques worldwide, as well as Rykiel's own stores. Prices range from €7.95 - €19.95 for underwear, and €79.95 for sleepwear. [WWD]
• Morrissey is collaborating with Stella McCartney on a line of vegan footwear. McCartney says the shoes could be in stores next year. [Daily Mail, 2nd item]
• Helena Christensen, on the term of art 'supermodel': it's "silly and cartoonish, but to be a part of that whole group of girls — at the end of the day, I was there. I did it. I am a million experiences richer." [Telegraph]
• It's a comeback for Aussie model Catherine McNeil. McNeil will be on the cover of next month's Australian Vogue, a casting move that her booker says gives any model "credibility" — oddly implying that McNeil needs some. The 20-year-old has been on an extended break from international modeling, but is expected to rejoin the moil next show season, in January. [News.com.au]
• Mulberry creative director Emma Hill, who previously designed accessories for Marc Jacobs and the Gap, on the heyday of 'it' bags: "I was partly responsible, at Marc Jacobs, for the It bag thing. I realized that we'd made it when I saw knock-offs on the street corner. But a trend like that squashes people's individuality. If you're all trying to get the same thing, it's not very special. There are possibly more things to worry about in life than waiting two years for a handbag. I think those years are over." [ToL]
• Jenny Sanford applied to trademark her own name in early July, shortly after the June revelation that her husband, South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, was hiking the Appalachian trail enjoying two magnificent parts of another woman. Jenny Sanford applied for the trademark intending to use it to market a line of clothing, mugs, and other household items, to be sold through her website. The trademark application has not yet been approved. [State]
• Christian Audigier is opening an Ed Hardy store in London this week, the U.K.'s first. [Guardian]
• Victoria's Secret is a popular target for professional shoplifters. Four women pepper-sprayed a sales associate in Tennessee this month in order to boost 30 pairs of underwear. [UPI]
• Due to Dubai's debt crisis, the American investors who recently and separately bought significant chunks of Barneys New York's debt, Ron Burkle and Richard Perry, might end up controlling the Dubai-owned company. If they do, they should probably convince someone there to hire a C.E.O. All the best companies have one. [Dealbook]
• Pierre Cardin, 87, was briefly hospitalized in Paris for exhibiting falling blood pressure and a slow pulse. Cardin was en route to Greece, where he was holding a fashion show. As if this were 1963, or something. [AFP]
• French eBay users are banned from selling or buying certain branded perfumes, like Christian Dior and Kenzo. A court in Paris has fined the auction site 1.7 million Euros for not enforcing the law effectively enough. [BBC]
• The market in exotic skins, like alligator, has been among the worst affected by the recession. (It's not hard to imagine why, given a pair of alligator Manolos can easily run $4,000.) The farmers who raise the gators in Louisiana, Florida, and Georgia are paid for their troubles by tanneries, who then sell the processed hides to fashion companies. But while farmers complain that prices offered by tanneries have fallen below the cost of even raising the animals, fashion companies say the reduction in the cost of finished skins has been minimal. Which major fashion brand significantly expanded into alligator tanneries during the boom years? Hermès. The other thing you should know about this article is that a man named Tommy Fletcher, whose work involves going into bayous to fight mother alligators with a pole and frequent bites when handling the live young, says that running an alligator farm is "like being married to Miss America. You get all the benefits of the hugs and kisses, but she's mighty high-maintenance." [NYTimes]

• The Olsen twins are launching a new juniors' collection for JC Penney, home of the brands Kimora Lee Simmons, Bisou Bisou, and Charlotte Ronson. It'll be called Olsenboye and is expected in stores this spring. [The Cut]

• The Olsens, plus Alexander Wang, Erin Fetherston, Jenna Lyons of J. Crew, Maria Pinto, and several others were officially inducted into the Council of Fashion Designers of America — "the Kiwanis Club of our business," as David Rees put it — on Wednesday night. After someone explained to Mary-Kate what the save the garment center campaign was about — the lax enforcement of existing zoning laws has allowed landlords in the area supposedly reserved for apparel companies to lease instead to higher-paying kinds of commercial tenants, driving up rents — she said she was totally for it. "We need it, as well. I hope we can save it," she said. [WWD]
• "As a child, I never saw a confident woman — I only saw women being abused," says Mary J. Blige. The singer has just opened the new Mary J. Blige Center for Women in the city of Yonkers, where she grew up. It's intended to educate, empower, and encourage women. "I want every girl and woman who walks through this door to know that she is loved — no matter who is telling her she isn't loved," says the singer. Gucci's Frida Giannini turned up to the opening, and an unspecified portion of the profit from sales of a Gucci women's watch costing $1,895 will be donated to Blige's charity. Giannini was also in town to open Gucci's pop-up shop in SoHo, which will showcase Mark Ronson's alleged "sneaker" for the brand. [WWD]
• First, there was the Sportiletto. And now, behold: The Lamborghini Heel. [FWD]
• From former New York Times food critic and memoirist Frank Bruni's Twitter: "Anna Wintour comes to Marea, orders chicken, with avocado salad, neither on menu. What's the point?" [Twitter]
• Tom Ford says the process of directing A Single Man, his adaptation of the Isherwood novel, has been about "coming to terms with the fact that I do spend so much of my life working in the material world. But as long as you keep it in perspective and don't take it too seriously, I think fashion is a great thing that adds quality to our lives. It doesn't mean that a beautiful pair of shoes isn't still beautiful. But if you lose them, big deal, because they don't really mean anything other than to be able to say, 'Wow, look at my feet. Aren't they pretty?'" [Out]
• Christian Louboutin has created a special carrier bag that includes a bottle of champers and a crystal champagne flute shaped like a stiletto. The package, known as Le Rituel, costs $500, and you can watch a 3-minute film about it here. [WWD]
• He made this bubbly slipper-sipper instead of doing a diffusion line for H&M. That sound just then was our hearts breaking. [The Cut]
• Burberry is getting into the cosmetics business. It won't happen till next summer, but expect a full line — about 100 products for face, lips, and eyes — when it does. [WWD]
• Manolo Blahnik does not want to talk about platforms, which he is relieved to note are finally falling from prominence. "Don't talk to me about platforms. I've done it all before. It bores me now. I want shoes to be beautiful, so women walk beautifully. Shoes should be beautiful — Oh, and of course, a little fun also." [Telegraph]
• Project Runway's Kit Scarbo, who does not skate, is doing a women's line with the skateboard brand Etnies. [The Cut]
• According to one student who took notes on Amy Astley's recent talk at FIDM, Teen Vogue is working on a new TV show. The mag's last dalliance with the medium resulted in The Hills. [Jazzi McG]
• Someone who is a really big fan of Hedi Slimane made this claymation video of an imaginary rock band, clad entirely in Slimane's Dior collections. [YoungestIndie]
• A kind of full-length women's chenille robe marketed by Pennsylvania company Blair is being recalled. The highly flammable robes have been linked to nine deaths so far. [NBC]

• Carrie Prejean has sunk low. Very low. [TMZ]
• Photographer Lorenzo Agius on Sienna Miller: "[She] was great, she was easy to get in the bath...She probably would have gone naked but I wouldn't have let her." [WWD]

• The British ASA has upheld the complaint against the nip-baring American Apparel ad, which they call "offensive and irresponsible" since (although AA says she's 23) the girl looks to be under the legal age of 16. [AdRants]
• Taylor Momsen came out to rep Clinique and Teen Vogue's Fresh Faces Tour."I love makeup," she said, holding an enormous pair of scissors. We'd noticed. [People]
• Zac Posen's getting into real estate: the golden boy designer will be decorating "a luxury boutique residence just south of the Flatiron District." [NYPost]
• Rachel Zoe: not dead, is nauseated. [NYPost]
• Trade association Greater Washington Fashion Chamber of Commerce is working to establish a copyright-defendin' Fashion Caucus, which is gaining support from some influential lawmakers. [WWD]
• Glitzy-romantic line Marchesa has introduced a line of glitzy-romantic handbags. [Racked]
• Sad: Debt-ridden Marc Ecko may have to sell his controlling interest in eponymous Ecko. It's extra-sad when it's eponymous. [NYPost]
• Speaking of bankruptcy! Annie Leibowitz may be down, but she's...also designing a backpack for Louis Vuitton. [WWD]
• The thing is, a Tim Burton fashion shoot really isn't that more bizarre than a regular high-fashion shoot! And where is Depp? [Harper's Bazaar]
• Chicago delegates pulling for a Windy City Olympics will make their pitches in hometown designer threads like Obama faves Mario Pinto and Hart Schaffner Marx. [WWD]
• H&M's August sales were "disappointing." [FT]
• In an...odd move, Ed Hardy has moved into the world of hand sanitizer. It fails to wash off the taint of douchiness. [Inventorspot]
• Warren Buffett's pick: Trand suits. Says the gazillionaire of the Chinese label, "They're comfortable and people tell me they look good...I went 78 years before I got a compliment on my appearance." [WSJ]

• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson: On the rocks??? Apparently LL loves to party and Sam is shuns the spotlight; plus Sam's a thoughtful person and isn't sure how she comes across in this "celebrity romance." Gah. [Daily Mail]
• Wait a minute! Sam proposed?! While she and Lindsay were on vacay in Mexico! With a Cartier diamond ring! [ONTD]
• Holy crap: John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston were seen kissing on Monday in California. They flew in to L.A. together on a private plane; hugged and kissed and then went their separate ways. Then again, the source is The National Enquirer. Hmm. [Perez Hilton]
• Jen and Vince together again in a sequel to The Break-Up? This just seems false. [Daily Express]
• Actor Guillaume Depardieu, son of French movie star Gerard Depardieu, died yesterday of complications from pneumonia. He was 37. [USA Today]
• Maureen McCormick, aka Marcia Brady, is spilling all in her new memoir: depression, drug addiction, abortions, trading sex for drugs and engaging in full-on binges at the Playboy Mansion. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! [E!]

• Prince performed in NYC over the weekend but told the audience to turn off their cellphones — which were interfering with the sound system — or "there may not be a show." Anderson Cooper was there. [Page Six]
• Russell Crowe has been cutting down on his drinking. "But tequila and I are still good friends, and vodka and I still get on. It’s just the dark drinks that don’t seem to bring out the best of my personality." [Daily Express]
• Is Kate Moss giving up drinking too? For Jamie Hince? [Mirror]
• If you haven't had enough Brad/Angelina/W magazine stuff, and you're curious how the photo shoot concept came about, click here. Hint: It has to do with Elizabeth Taylor, Bruce Weber, eBay and film that hasn't been manufactured for four years. [W]
• Simon Cowell's American Idol salary: $36 million a year. Paula Abdul's American Idol salary: $5 to $8 million a year. [MSNBC]
• Travis Barker, blogging from his hospital bed: "Despite any rumors you might have heard via my EX-wife Shanna Moakler, who I have not seen since the week I checked in, I've been treated amazingly well, both here in LA and in Georgia. The hospitals I've been treated at are THE BEST." [E!]
• A report, not a review, of Katie Holmes on Broadway: "She isn’t bad. She’s up against some real pro’s, and she holds her own. Like most movie and TV actors, her voice and projection need work. But she knows her lines, appears to understand the character, and does not embarrass herself at all." [Fox 411]
• Diddy sold his Rolls-Royce Phantom last week, but only because he's getting a new Rolls convertible. [Page Six]
• The person who wrote the lyrics and melody for Beyoncé's new song, "If I Were A Boy," is named BC Jean. But Beyoncé's father tried to get Beyonce’s name on the writing credits. [Fox 411]
• Nicole Richie filmed a guest spot on NBC's Chuck and played a bully with a "great fight scene." [People]
• Sharon Osbourne has a problem with Nicole Kidman — "she's got a forehead like a fucking flatscreen TV" — and other plastic surgery fans who pretend nothing has happened: "Oh my God! Those liars! I hate them! Those bitches! They are like, 'I didn't do anything.' Meanwhile, their eyebrows are here. Lying bitch!" [The Sun]
• Johnny Depp's ladyfriend, Vanessa Paradis, says, they are not getting married. "Each summer people say we're supposed to be getting married, but we don't talk about it that much. He's got me, and he knows he's got me." She also says she gets why women want to mob him: "I understand. I want to mob him all the time, I do. He's a very charming person." [People]
• David and Victoria Beckham's housekeepers deny stealing personal items from the house to sell on eBay. Guess who saw the stuff online and reported it to the cops? Vicky's parents. [Daily Mail]
• OMG. Kate Middleton caught talking on the phone while driving. The horror! [Telegraph]
• Rapper T.I. has a number one album and has to go to jail for weapons possession. He says he's "a little anxious" about prison. As for buying guns, he explains, "You know how many attempts have been made against my life? There are people out there that would rather kill you than to tell you, 'Good luck' or 'I am happy for you.' So, until you understand that, you wouldn't understand my train of thought. Not to say it was right. It's just my best explanation." [UPI]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is talking about her body again! "I'm getting ready to turn 30 and get married and all those things," she says. "This year was my year to try to glow from within and feel better." So: "I work out about four or five days a week." She's perfecting her pushup and she thinks the plank pose is "very cool." [People]
• Mark Wahlberg. Gonna marry the lady who gave birth to his three kids. Say hi to your mother for me. [E!]
• Boy George called Little Britain star Matt Lucas a "prissy, niggly diva" back in 2002. He later attempted to apologize but Lucas didn't respond. [Daily Express]
• Richard Gere says: "I stopped reading the press a long time ago. Lots of crazy things came up about me at first, especially from the tabloids. There is an infamous 'Gere stuck a hamster up his bum' urban myth." But! As Michael Musto points out, it was a gerbil rumor. Hmm. [Village Voice]
• Kenny Chesney on his new album: "It's no secret—there are about four or five songs that are about Renée [Zellweger]." [E!]
• Blake Incarcerated's mom says: "I don't think rehab is the answer." She thinks Blake needs to come home to her. Plus she says: "I don't speak to Amy. I feel all the media attention on Amy has probably had an impact on my son's release." Ya think? [People]
• Janet Jackson has canceled more concerts. She still has not made a statement about what kind of illness she has. [AP]
• Uh, was Jermaine Dupri told by Janet Jackson's people, "You're not her boyfriend anymore." ??? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Clark Gable's granddaughter Kayley is a fucking mess. [TMZ]
• Shannen Doherty has agreed to do two additional episodes on 90210. But seriously, no one is watching anymore, right? [LA Times]
• Lethal Weapon 5: Not happening. "Mel turned it down," director Richard Donner says. [LA Times]
• Kevin Spacey: Visiting professor at Oxford University. Pish posh, pip pip, cheerio! [The Star]
• Wanna see Roseanne riff on John McCain and "a nation run by old men on Viagra" ? Click the link! [Guardian]
• Lisa Marie Presley's twin girls are named Finley and Harper. [People]
• Lance Bass's ex, Reichen Lehmkuhl, has been posting personal trainer ads on Craigslist. [Perez Hilton]
• George Michael is coming out of "retirement" to perform at an exclusive show in Abu Dhabi next month. [Mirror]
• "He's one of the funniest human beings alive." — Dick Van Dyke on Ricky Gervais. [The Star]
• "[Heath Ledger] never involved himself in Hollywood and he didn't want to be a celebrity. He wanted to be an actor. I love acting. I just don't like the current state of the movie business and what is released. The rest of the world makes movies that mean something some of the time. In America, we don't." — Billy Bob Thornton, who worked with Ledger in Monster's Ball. [Daily Express]
• "There's nothing wrong with Disney, but my benchmarks are more West Side Story meets Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm trying to write a musical that will be relevant to a 16-year-old today, a rite of passage for a young girl into womanhood." — Tori Amos, who is working on a feminist fairytale, to be completed by 2010. [Independent]
• "Breast cancer helped me put myself first in life. Once I stepped out of radiation, I had to remember that the only person who could take care of me was me. I'd better do that before I take care of everybody else, instead of everybody else first." — Sheryl Crow. [People]
• "One of the best things about America is that we are a melting pot, a mix of many, many different races and nations. Yes, they have their own nationalities and are very proud of them, but that certainly doesn't diminish the fact that they're American. To me, that is what being American is." — Angelina Jolie on her kids. [Perez Hilton]
• "[Barack Obama] is still so new. He seems like a strong leader. We'll see." — Lauren Bush. [Page Six]

• John Mayer on his breakup with Jen Aniston: "There's no lying, there's no cheating, there's no nothing. Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I have ever met. People are different, people have different chemistry. I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right." Hmm, does Mayer The Player have commitmentphobia? [People, UPI]
• John Mayer also says: "I'm sorry that the story's not interesting. But it's about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she's great." [OK!]
• Um, there's also video of John making these statements. He actually seems emotional. [TMZ]
• Okay, this report says that though they're going through a rocky time, John and Jen are not over. Then again, it also claims that "the birth of the Brangelina twins has got her down." Ugh. [The Sun]
• This report says that money was an issue with Jen and John. "Jen was tired of paying for everything," says a source. "Cobwebs come flying out of (Mayer's) wallet when he opens it. John liked living like a movie star when he was with her. Jen would never say anything, but you could tell it irritated her." [MSNBC]
• Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi tied the knot! The private ceremony took place at their home in Los Angeles. There were 19 guests, including both of their mothers. [Yahoo News]

• Ellen and Portia both wore Zac Posen. They exchanged rings by Neil Lane. The couple said handwritten vows. Sniff. [People]
• Oooh, you can see Portia's fluffy pink dress here. A source called it a "Cinderella tutu." [Us]
• A crowd of 6,000 people gathered on Chicago's South Side to remember Bernie Mac on Saturday. Samuel L. Jackson spoke at the church and said: "He never turned that kid down for an autograph. He always had time to shake a hand. He was always that kid from Chicago who wanted to make everybody happy and everybody laugh." [CNN]
• Meanwhile, a Presbyterian Church in Memphis is being criticized for holding a memorial for Scientologist Isaac Hayes. [UPI]
• Madonna's 50th birthday was Saturday. She spent the day praying at the Kabbalah center before hitting a London nightclub. [Mirror]
• In other news, doesn't look like Madonna will be adopting that little girl in Malawi. Although we'll surely hear something different tomorrow. [The Sun]
• Meanwhile: Guy Ritchie's script adviser has been charged with possessing more than £100,000 worth of cocaine and cannabis. At least he knows his stuff. [Daily Mail]
• Tyra Banks kept her audience waiting for two hours for a taping of "Celebrating Black Models, Past, Present and Future" while she was backstage "giggling, snacking and chatting with the crew." At the end of the show, Tyra and some other models released black balloons, which, as we all know, kill sea life. Anyway, a source says the whole show was "self-indulgent, narcissistic crap." [Page Six]
• Phil Collins has divorced third wife Orianne Cevey after six years of marriage and two children. He's paid her £25 million, more than Paul McCartney gave Heather Mills. [Mirror]
• Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe suffers from dyspraxia, a neurological problem which impairs movement. His spokesperson says his condition is mild and "at worst manifests itself in an inability to tie his shoe laces and bad handwriting." [Daily Mail]
• Courtenay Semel is spilling details about her relationship with Lindsay Lohan: "Everyone thinks Samantha is Lindsay’s first lesbian love, but we were very passionate until her fear of being found out drove us apart," she says. Apparently Courtnenay and LL would do lines of coke, then go home and "fall into bed together." You know, Star was on to LL's "roomate" Courtenay months ago! [News Of The World]
• Courtenay also claims that Lindsay slept with a bunch of dudes to suppress her lesbian urges. [The Sun]
• Was Peaches Geldof's quickie Vegas wedding a publicity stunt for the groom's rock band? The group, Chester French, was unknown in the UK before the wedding; now they have five gigs: Sheffield tomorrow night, followed by Birmingham, Manchester, Edinburgh and London. [Mirror]
• Peaches has gone to visit her father, who will surely quiz her about what the hell is going on. [The Sun]
• By the by, Peaches' new hubs doesn't know who Sir Bob Geldof is, so that should go over well. [Mirror]
• Oh, dear. There's a picture of Peaches licking the face of Mark The Cobrasnake. [Daily Mail]
• Did Peaches get married because she was depressed? Is she still scarred from the death of her mother eight years ago? [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse has become obsessed with The Wizard Of Oz and is using a sample of music from the film in one of her new tracks. Clearly, she loves the scene that's all, "Poppies… poppies!" [The Sun]
• Gossip Girl gossip: The first season comes out on DVD this week, with an audiobook narrated by Christina Ricci. Except no one likes audiobooks, especially not GG fans. [NY Times]
• Bill Murray jumped out of a plane on Friday. The 57-year-old actor leapt from 13,500 feet with members of the Army Golden Knights Parachute Team. When Murray landed, he said: "I really feel like having a drink." [AP]
• Paris Hilton's extensions were extremely obvious on the red carpet at a recent event. [UPI]
• View said extensions here. [ONTD]
• Jared Leto's band, 30 Seconds To Mars, is being sued by its label, Virgin Records, for not delivering three albums as required by contract. More time in the studio, less time on eyeliner, guys. [AP]
• Blind item! "Which hunk in a summer movie is a violent, closeted homosexual? The heartthrob snuck into his ex's apartment a few months ago and raped him so violently, the ex ended up in the hospital — and the actor paid him $500,000 to keep his mouth shut." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which oft-photographed socialite is being forced to get a job by her parents? She looks rich but is really broke, and is now looking for modeling gigs." [Page Six]
• Drama in the Black Eyed Peas! Fergie's too busy shooting a movie to commit to a tour schedule. [Page Six]
• Celebs at the DNC? George Clooney, Madonna, Kanye West, Scarlett Johansson, Susan Sarandon, Spike Lee, Quentin Tarantino and Matt Damon all wanna be there when Barack Obama says, "Yes, I can." [Rush & Molloy]
• Kim Kardashian performed with the Pussycat Dolls in Vegas on Friday and used iChat to show boyfriend Reggie Bush what she looked like in her costume. Yeah, she knows how to video chat. Be afraid. [People]
• Everything you need to know about Lo Bosworth's role on The Hills: "A subtle intelligence is Lo's saving grace. It's all there in her withering gaze, usually directed away from her target, and possibly in whatever she's always typing into her cellphone." [L.A. Times]
• Sixteen-year-old Georgia Jagger won't let mom Jerry Hall wear anything inappropriate. "I did take all her miniskirts. I told her one night that her skirt was too short – she came down the stairs and I was like, 'God, Mum, you are 50.'" [Daily Mail]
• Entourage star Emmanuelle Chriqui was one of the many patrons of an L.A. nightclub who came out coughing when someone set off pepper spray. [TMZ]
• Mark Frith, editor of Heat magazine, has a book about what it's like to run a tabloid readers love and stars hate. An excerpt: "Jude Law's lawyer calls again. 'We've reason to believe you're planning to run some photographs that you don't have permission to run. When does the magazine print?' 'It already has.' Silence. Then he tells me our lawyers will be getting a letter." [Daily Mail]
• Somebody stole stuff out of the Dancing With The Stars van when it was in Roseville, MN. [UPI]
• Is Avril Lavigne too sexy for Malaysia? [Yahoo News]
• Patrick Swayze continues to smoke. [The Sun]
• Robert Wagner has talked to a friend about the night Natalie Wood died. [Times of London]
• Headline of the day: "Even when he was kissing me, Warren Beatty could not resist staring at himself in the mirror." [Daily Mail]
• "I'd like an Oscar, I think, and I'd also like to have been the face of a big cosmetics company, like Chanel or one of the others. You know what, I am actually going to say I'd like an Oscar nomination rather than an Oscar. I don't want to jinx it." — Emma Roberts. [News.com.au]
• "I saw The Dark Knight. I'm like, 'That's not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.' I loved The Prestige but didn't understand The Dark Knight. Didn't get it, still can't tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character… I'm like, 'I get it. This is so high-brow and so fucking smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie. You know what? Fuck DC comics. That's all I have to say and that's where I'm really coming from." — Robert Downey Jr. [MSNBC]

• As previously reported, for reasons one can only imagine, Tyra Banks plays first lady in the new issue of Harper's Bazaar. This article reads: "Voguing like a supermodel, Tyra pays homage to Michelle Obama and Jackie Kennedy with pearls, slinky black shift and curly flip, draped against a Barack Obama lookalike and smiling at a tyke playing hide-and-seek à la JFK Jr. Banks confessed that if she were first lady, her Secret Service code name would be 'KMFA: Kiss My Fat Ass.'" Yes. Well. No further comment. [New York Post]
• Tyra also says: "Michelle Obama, you're one hot mama." [WWD]
• Don't worry, Vogue editor-at-large and python duster-enthusiast Andre Leon Talley (who famously stuck Jennifer Hudson in a hideous metallic bolero) will not be messing with the real-life Michelle Obama any time soon, rumors to the contrary. Quoth the less-than-jolly giant, "I think that Michelle Obama does not need advice." [BlackBook]
• Michelle's also on the cover of Ebony. "She wore her own clothing for the shoot —
  including a suit from favored designer Maria Pinto." [WWD]

• They're finally airing that too-hot-for-TV-naked Eva Mendes Calvin Klein ad - albeit after nine pm! The "Secret Obsession" campaign "taps into the secrecy of a private moment - where it's clear that Eva is having illicit thoughts," marketer Lori Singer told WWD. [Page Six]
• Wanna see it? (NSFW, obvs) [E!]
• Everything Lagerfeld touches turns to awesome! Now he's collabing with architect Zaha Hadid on an installation, The Chanel Mobile Art Pavilion, "a gleaming futuristic pavilion with the startling appearance of a glamorous spaceship...a pavilion that, like a handbag, is a completely portable and functional container with vast symbolic potential." Indeed, Kaiser. [Independent]
• Celeb spawn modeling? No! Dakota Johnson, daughter of Don and Melanie Griffith, is in illustrious company: "The model, who is best friends with Demi Moore's daughter Rumer Willis, has just been signed to star alongside the MisShapes' Leigh Lezark and another famous Hollywood child, Isabella Rossellini's daughter Elettra Rossellini Wiedemann, to front the new season campaign for Italian fashion house Hogan." [ElleUK]
• Ho-hum. Another naked dame for PETA. This time it's Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard, which is, I guess, at least promoting a healthy body image. [Reuters]
• Speaking of which, designers like Stella McCartney and Alexander McQueen are cashing in on the Olympics. "More and more we are seeing fashion brands getting involved in sports like the Olympics or Wimbledon or the U.S. Open." [Yahoo]
• Shockingly, all those "modeling agencies" on Craig's List aren't on the level. Sadly, a lot of teens are falling prey to them. [The Sun]
• Vids of Lauren Conrad's ads for Avon's new Mark Cosmetics, the younger line. [ONTD]
• An Australian study shows that women are way more concerned with the size on a garment's tag than they should be. "People are paying more attention to the size tag than the price tag and feeling down when they can't fit their standard size." This is why we're all 2s at Banana Republic, people! [Reuters]
• Sudanese model Alek Wek on breaking industry stereotypes: "I was told, 'You can’t make it – you're this, you're that, your nose is too wide, etc.'" [Daily Express]
• Thanks, Vogue: freckles are "in." [The Independent]
• Recessionistas, take note: Patricia Field's podcast on styling H&M. It's actually totally unhelpful, but still kinda entertaining. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Fashion mags launch search for "real women" (because we're so hard to find.) The Condies are searching for veritable dames with "interesting careers" to shoot for "major fashion layouts." So, if that sounds like you and you're between 20 and 30 years old, five foot five and five foot eleven, and wear a 2 to 6 dress size, you qualify to be one of those "real women." [New York Magazine]
• Dior profits way up. [WWD]
• Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. "Kelly Rutherford's baby is a real fashion victim. The hot mom in Gossip Girl was shopping recently in the Hamptons and was overheard saying that she and her husband, German businessman Daniel Giersch, named their nearly 2-year-old boy Hermés Gustaf Daniel Giersch because she loves the Hermes designer label. She also said her husband once worked as a mailman and the messenger god is Hermes." [Page Six]
• The case of the suited crook: "A former Saks Fifth Avenue suit salesman used his access to fine clothes to gain access to Midtown buildings, where he swiped cash and credit cards from empty offices." [New York Post]
• Is some random store ripping off Lanvin's Elaz tees? [Fashionista]
• Cosabella's fall Sex and the City lingerie collection is here. Some feel Charlotte, Miranda are somewhat misrepresented. [Fabsugar]

This fabulous fashion work comes from the tab that just axed EIC Debra Birnbaum so they could focus less on life and more on style. Hubert Boehle, Bauer's CEO who described the mag as "the style weekly," tapped new EIC Mark Pasetsky, a p.r. dude with no previous editorial or fashion experience. Hmmm...