[Los Angeles, July 15. Image via Flynet.]

• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony had trouble getting into the Neighborhood Ball last night, because they were late. You gotta get there before the President! [Page Six]

• An aside: Was Jennifer Lopez seen sneaking out of the Scientology Center in L.A.? Even though her dad and her friend Leah Remini are Scientologists, J. Lo has always said she's not into it. [Gatecrasher]
• Whoa, the American Music Ball was canceled hours before it started. Performers George Clinton, Ben Vereen and Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes had to go to the Heroes Ball instead. [Page Six]
• Susan Sarandon got a Politico blogger kicked out of a Creative Coalition brunch in D.C. What did the blogger do? Ask Sarandon if she'd say a word or two about Obama's speech. [Politico]
• Here's how Kerry Washington watched Barack Obama's swearing-in yesterday: "I dressed as if going for skiing. I had many layers — tights, jeans, thermal underwear," she says. "We stood in line for the hours everyone else did. I had a seated ticket to the swearing-in, but I gave up my seat and went up to the front area and kneeled." [USA Today]
• By the by, a new musical called Obama On My Mind opens in March in London. No, really. [People]
• Get ready: Thursday morning, Forest Whitaker will announce this year's Academy Award nominations. Then the Oscars will air live on February 22. [People]
• Presenters at the SAG Awards include Christina Applegate, Kyra Sedgwick, Jon Hamm, John Krasinski, Angela Bassett and Eric McCormack. The event takes place Sunday night at 8 p.m. and will be simulcast on TBS and TNT. [Variety]
• Date alert! Renée Zellweger was spotted having dinner with MSNBC legal correspondent Dan Abrams. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse is a heroine! Not on heroin, but a lifesaver: A tourist was having a sailing lesson in the Caribbean when she was thrown out of the boat by a big wave. The woman landed on some rocks and Amy dashed to her side, keeping her from being swept back into the sea. [The Sun]
• Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger, the pilot who saved Flight 1549, was seen dining on bird (chicken) at a D.C. restaurant called Hudson last night. [TMZ]
• Joaquin Phoenix threw a fit when Casey Affleck and the documentary crew arrived late to his rap performance in Las Vegas. "Thanks for fucking everything up," Phoenix yelled before throwing a CD on the floor. A source says: "Nobody can tell if he is for real or if this is all a big joke." Sorta hoping it's a joke. [Page Six]
• Oh God: When he was performing in Vegas, Joaquin Phoenix's pants had a massive hole in the crotch. "It was hard for anyone to focus on his singing," laughed one witness. "The worst was that the hole was at eye [level] for most of the crowd." [Gatecrasher]
• Sean Penn's been criticized for meeting with people like Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro, but his publicist says: "Sean is a champion of civil rights." [Perez]
• A California appeals court has put the Roman Polanski case on hold. [Reuters]
• A month after his brother died of a gunshot wound, Mark Ruffalo is back at work, directing and starring in Sympathy For Delicious, a flick about a paralyzed DJ who seeks out the world of faith healing. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Kristen Stewart is at Sundance plugging a new flick, Adventureland, but she reluctantly spoke about the Twilight sequel, sorta. Click for "um, like" video. [E!]
• Kevin Federline's new girlfriend "played mommy" when she and K-Fed took Sean Preston and Jayden James out to dinner over the weekend. [TMZ]
• Jude Law was wearing a neck brace after "tweaking" his neck while working out, but you can relax, he's fine. [Page Six]
• Danny Boyle is in Mumbai, defending Slumdog Millionaire: "The thing that I wanted people to take away from the film was ... this breathtaking, breathtaking resilience of people and the joy of people despite their circumstances, that lust for life," he says. "What we tried to do in the film was include as much of the city as possible." This paper notes that half of the city's 17 million people are homeless. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Blind item! "Which married morning-show producer rumored to be having an affair with a married on-air colleague was 'fidgeting incessantly' during inauguration weekend parties with her recently ringless ring finger?" [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which supermodel had to have an uber-rocker’s teeth marks photoshopped off her bared bottom after her magazine photo shoot?" [Gatecrasher]
• Simon Cowell has fired Britain's Got Talent judge Kelly Brook after just six days on the job. Guess she didn't "bring the crazy," which is what a "judge" has to do these days. [Perez]
• Paul Giamatti plays himself in a Sundance flick called Cold Souls and says: "I kind of forgot that I was playing myself in this... I kind of felt that [director Sophie Bart] captured, in a funny way, an archetypal type of neurotic New York self-involved actor." [ONTD]
• Star Jones and chef Herb Wilson: It's on. [Perez]
• Ralph Macchio is not happy about the Karate Kid remake Will and Jayden Smith are plotting. Macchio says: "From my personal view, filling the void of what Mr. Miyagi was - and the magic of that character - is going to be the toughest task. I don't know where the romantic story-arc goes [with Jayden Smith] at that age." [Perez]
• Alyssa Milano has received a restraining order against a man who has "increasingly" harassed and stalked her. [ET]
• James Taylor wore a hat and sunglasses during his performance at the Lincoln Memorial on Sunday because he either "fell during rehearsal" (official story) or had some sort of fisticuffs with a "wooden parrot in his hotel room" (unofficial story). Either way, he got 50 stitches in his forehead. Stupid parrot. [Page Six]
• Wesley Snipes has a pending three-year jail sentence for tax evasion, but has been loading up on tax-free swag at Sundance. [Page Six]
• "If someone rapes a girl he should be bent over and the same thing done to him. I’m sorry that’s just the way I feel. I’m very strict. If someone is done for drink-driving they should have their licence taken away for life. And if someone steals they should have to wear a dye on their skin, like a tattoo on their ear or somewhere it can be seen – like across their face! That would stop people stealing." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "I really know how to think. If I decide to make a coat red in the show, it's not just red. I think: is it communist red? Is it cherry cordial? Is it ruby red? Or is it apple red? Or the big red balloon red? I mean there's like so many fucking different kinds of red. And so you have to say, well, what are we trying to say in this scene? Is it a happy red? Or a sad red? Is it a lace red? Or a leather red? Or a wool red? It's like there are so many components to making a show and making art… I strive to be a female Warhol. I want to make films and music, do photography and paint one day, maybe. Make fashion. Make big museum art installations. I would be a bit more mixed-media than him probably - combining mixed media and imagery and doing more of a kind of a weird pop-art piece." — Lady GaGa. [Guardian]
• "I wanted to reach out and let you know that due to scheduling conflicts with certain cast members and location/weather considerations, we had to wait until now to shoot a couple of scenes. Please rest assured that Wolverine will be badass and hopefully meet all of your expectations." — Hugh Jackman. [Page Six]
• "It's intense, and there are no weights involved. And some of it's like girly stuff, like just kicking your leg, but it’s muscles you don’t really ever work at. Men don’t usually go to the gym and say, 'I’m going to develop my ass. This’ll be the J.Lo workout.'" — 50 Cent, on his fitness regimen. [Gatecrasher]
• "His attitude in the play is, 'Hey, I'm pretty kickass. Sure, I made some mistakes, but any president does, and, for the most part, I did a good job.'" — Will Ferrell on playing Dubya in You're Welcome America. A Final Night With George W. Bush. [Village Voice]

• Jennifer Aniston admits two things about that naughty nude GQ cover: that she was drunk when they snapped the pics and that they photoshopped her already perfect funbags. [NYDN]

• On the View on Wednesday, in reference to the GQ shots Barbara Wawa asked Jen, "What happened to the girl next door from Friends?" To which Jen cheekily replied, "She's there! Photoshopped!" Gotta admit the Aniston is growing on us. [NYDN]
• Speaking of the oft-discussed GQ cover, apparently the Hudson News chain in Grand Central covered Aniston's naked form in its window display with a piece of paper. Don't want those commuters getting too titillated! [NYDN]
• Eartha Kitt died on Christmas Day at the age of 81. There will be a more thorough post honoring the singer later today. [NYT]
• Certified mother of the year Dina Lohan was spotted at 1Oak with Lindsay's little brother Michael, celebrating his 21st birthday. What would the actual Oprah say about White Oprah's behavior? [Page Six]
• More missives from the Lohan clan, Lindsay wrote the following on her MySpace blog. "My father just let my family and I know, amongst others that he had another child after my little sister Aliana, or maybe he had it before Aliana?? Either way he cheated on my mother and that really sucks. Wow—do I sound like 'Debbie Downer' or what? Not trying to be." Poor Lindsay. Then she continues on to talk of brighter things, like Britney Spears's comeback. [E! Online]
• Ugh, this is so sad. Mark Ruffalo's family had to hold his brother Scott's funeral without his body, as Scott's corpse is still part of the homicide investigation. Police are still trying to piece together why hairdresser Scott was shot to death. Blerg. [Page Six]
• Congrats, Katie Couric! The news diva's ratings went up last week, to 7.4 million. [Fall Out Boy's website. He looks like every other baby. [E! Online]
• Did Tara Reid punk out on rehab? Someone claims they have snaps of her partying in Miami two days after she released a statement about entering promises rehab center. Also fishy: the photos are from her birthday party, and were allegedly taken on December 15. Her birthday is November 8. [IDLYITW]
• Ad man cum cable personality Donny Deutsch was caught cheating with a married woman earlier this year, but in his new book, he preaches faithfulness in marriage. "I'm not giving marriage advice," Deutsch claims. "I am, however, offering advice of the heart." A classic case of do what I say, not what I do. [Page Six]

• The country's most famous teen mom, Bristol Palin, will have a boy around December 20th with fiance Levi Johnston. The as-yet-unnamed kiddie already killed a moose with his bare hands in utero. [Page Six]

• Though he persistently claims that he's not a Scientologist, Will Smith gave $122,500 to various Scientologist organizations. It's worth noting that a tax deductible $122,500 for Smith is like twenty buckies to us normal folks. That lady who does Bart Simpson's voice gave the Scientologists $10 million one time! [Perez]
• Last week Paula Abdul was going on and on to Barbara Walters about how Simon Cowell and the producers of American Idol deliberately made her face her stalker, Paula Godspeed, the woman who eventually killed herself outside Abdul's house. Cowell says otherwise: "All [Paula Abdul had] to say is ‘Stop filming, I need to speak with the producers.’ That didn’t happen [during Godspeed's audition]. But I only remember from what I saw [in news clips],” Simon says. [People]
• Jeremy Piven is leaving the David Mamet show Speed the Plow months before the end of its scheduled run. His flack claims that it's because Piven's discovered he has a high level of mercury, to which Mamet responded, "My understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer.” [NYT]
• The shooting death of Mark Ruffalo's brother Scott has officially been ruled a homicide by Los Angeles police. [TMZ]
• Earlier this week, Madonna's flack Liz Rosenberg issued a report that Guy Ritchie had received in the neighborhood of $80 million dollars in the couple's divorce. Almost immediately afterwards, Madonna and Guy said that that Liz was a big liar and that her statement was "misleading" and "inaccurate." Today, Liz is covering her ass with a new announcement from the couple: "A misleading and inaccurate statement, specifically in relation to the sums of money involved, was wrongly issued to AP this week. The financial details of the settlement will remain private, save to say that both of us are happy with our agreement. Our primary concern, like any co-parents, is the care and well being of our children." [Jossip]
• Richard Dreyfuss is suing his father and uncle for nearly $4 million in unpaid loans. It's going to be a FUN Christmas at the Dreyfuss house! [The Star UK]
• More family feuding: Whitney Houston's step-mother is suing her for money she claims Whitney improperly kept after Houston's father, John, died in 2003. [AP via Yahoo News]
• Like mother-in-law Blythe Danner earlier this week, Chris Martin is disavowing divorce rumors. "I'm trying to think of when the last bit of bad news was. Well there hasn't been anything for a while. I'm supposed to be getting divorced but those things aren't happening so don't really count as bad news," the Coldplay star says. [Contact Music]
• A foreclosure company has stepped in to help pay Ed McMahon's mortgage, so the aging star won't get booted from his posh Orange County digs. [TMZ]
• Aw, Dustin Hoffman is a proud papa: "[MY kids] get mad at me for telling everyone about their accomplishments or for finding cute girls for my sons. But even though they love to hate me for it or cruelly imitate me, I can't stop bragging. They are my true credits." [Page Six]
• Stars are sharing their worst xmas presents ever with Cindy Adams. ""My most awful present as a teenager was a calculator," Michelle Williams said. "Every year I seemed to get the same stupid thing from a relative. I never used one of them." [Cindy Adams]
• Will Ferrell is going to play George W. on Broadway as a not-so-fond farewell to our 43rd President. The review will be called "You're Welcome, America: A Final Night With George W. Bush," and hits the B'way on January 20th. [NYDN]
• Eminem may keep a low profile these days, but don't worry, he's still the same old asshole. He tells Esquire, "I'm a T-shirt guy now. But wifebeaters won't go out of style, not as long as bitches keep mouthing off." [Esquire]
• Here's what Nick Cannon ex Christina Milian had to say about Cannon's marriage to Mariah Carey: “I was surprised like everyone else. I was like, ‘Really?’ It just seemed like a weird match, but I was happy for him. I always feel Nick works hard to get what he wants, whether that be women—that’s how he got me.” And then Mariah came in and shanked her with a giant enamel butterfly. [Just Jared]
• Emma Watson is worth $20 million and she still takes the subway. "I have a more normal life than people expect. When I take public transport, people are like, 'That girl looks like the girl from Harry Potter, but it can't be her on the tube.'"So then she takes out her Quidditch broomstick and shows them a thing or two. [USA Today]
• In a last ditch effort for popcultural relevancy, it looks like the new 90210 is mining an old feud for ratings: Brenda vs. Kelly. "Now that it's out that Brenda's been boinking Kelly's boyfriend Ryan (that whore!), the tension is most assuredly building up to a bona fide Kelly-Brenda smackdown." Dramz! [E! Online]
• Laura Bryan used to be married to Hootie and the Blowfish guitarist Mark Bryan. They divorced, and she just got remarried…to Hootie and the Blowfish drummer Jim Sonefeld. There's a blowfish joke to be made here but I'm not up for it this early in the morning. [WaPo]
• Tennis star Lindsay Davenport is expecting her second child. "Of course, this unexpected but exciting surprise now means I will be putting tennis on hold for the foreseeable future," Davenport says. [UPI]
• Eddie Murphy will play the Riddler in the next Batman movie alongside Christian Bale's broody hero. [Telegraph]
• 16-year-old Frances Bean Cobain is checking out a $6.5 million New York City pad. It must be said: if Courtney Love were your mother, wouldn't you want to live across the continent? [NYP]
• Though the fourth installment of the Terminator movies has not even hit screens yet, producers are already gearing up for a Terminator 5. Action hack Christian Bale is already locked in for the distant fifth Terminator movie. Let us reiterate: please drop that damn breathy hero voice Christian! We can't take you seriously when you talk like a low rent Darth Vader! [UPI]

• Britney's big eff you to her (chef) dad: Skipping dinner: "Britney thinks that if she doesn't eat much she will lose weight, then people will notice," an insider says. [MSNBC]

• Madonna is honoring Guy Ritchie's request to return to the UK for the holidays, so he can see the kids. But: Surprise! She's bringing A-Rod with her. Merry Christmas! [The Sun]
• Scarlett Johansson is threatening to sue Cosmopolitan UK over fabricated quotes about her marriage to Ryan Reynolds. [Guardian]
• Here's the thing: British Cosmo claims that the story written by Rebecca Winters Keegan had an "additional interview" by Francesca Williams. "Francesca Williams" is a pseudonym, and the "interview" was done at a press junket for Vicky Cristina Barcelona, on Aug. 4, when ScarJo wasn't even married. WTF. [WWD]
• Even Queen Elizabeth is feeling the effects of the crappy economy: They're serving leftovers at Buckingham palace. [Page Six]
• Skidoosh! Jack Black will be on a special post-Super Bowl episode of The Office! [UPI]
• Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber's newborn son has a name! Please give a warm welcome to Samuel Kai Schreiber. [People]
• January Vogue is all, "Yes We Can… Put Anne Hathaway on the cover, smiling like she's high on glue." [ONTD]
• By the by, Anne Hathaway's ex, Raffaello Follieri, has agreed to repay more that $3.6 million back to those he ripped off in a real estate scam. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Anthony Kiedis narrowly escaped kidney failure? [Gatecrasher]
• The news about Nicole Richie getting music advice from Rihanna and Kelly Osbourne? False. But! Nicole does eventually want to record an album. "Right now I have a lot on my plate," she says. "I've really been working hard – going on auditions for acting, doing design for my line, and being a mom – so that pretty much takes up my days." [People]
• Benji Madden and Paris Hilton were seen having a "quiet conversation" at the grand opening of the Dolce & Gabbana boutique on Robertson Boulevard hosted by Rachel Bilson. (?) Are they getting back together? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Someone besides the "Saudi Princess" was there in the Ruffalo death: Another person was arrested one day after Scott Ruffalo, Mark Ruffalo's brother, was shot; but he was released three days later without being charged. [TMZ]
• Dennis Quaid and his wife have settled their dispute with Cedars-Sinai Medical Center over that massive overdose that almost killed their twin babies. The Quaids will get $750,000, subject to court approval. [TMZ]
• Blind item! "Which daughter of a sports legend made a sex tape with two dudes when she was just 16? Lets hope this doesn’t hurt her (non-existent) showbiz career." [Gatecrasher]
• Anti-Scientology protesters tried to make a scene outside the premiere of Tom Cruise's new flick, Valkyrie, but they had the wrong location, whoops. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Meanwhile, Katie Holmes attended the Christmas party in her NYC building, because she is a good neighbor. [Page Six]
• Uh-oh: Uma Thurman's beau, Arpad Busson, is among those swindled by Wall Street deal-maker Bernard Madoff. He lost a lot. [Daily Mail]
• Brandy's 2006 car crash will not go away: A man was was injured in the multi-car pileup is suing Brandy… and the lady who died in the wreck. [TMZ]
• Isaiah Washington is now a citizen of Sierra Leone. [Perez Hilton]
• Click for video of Emma Watson, who says, after Harry Potter ends, "I think I will be ready to do other things…" but: "People just think of me as Hermione." [Guardian]
• Axl Rose wrote a 4,584-word open letter over the weekend and posted it on his band's website; he talks about Slash, the media, Chinese Democracy, and: "I don't see myself as solely Guns, but I do see myself as the only one from the past making the effort to take it forward whether anyone approves or not and giving beyond what many would or fight for to do so...I don't feel any reason whatsoever I should have to throw what I've not only worked for but fought and suffered for away because some hurt, angry, betrayed, misguided and lied to people with a lynch mob mentality, joined by others who could care less (especially in the media), enjoying the controversy and hate, choose one over the other regardless of what's right because they want what they want…" [Yahoo News via E!]
• Tim McGraw says despite rumors, he is not running for Governor of Tennessee in 2010. Maybe later in life, though: "I think I gotta get a lot smarter between now and then!" [People]
• Emma Thompson says her husband is so cheap: "He makes Oliver Cromwell look like Imelda Marcos on a spending spree in the Egyptian bit of Harrod's with Elton John's credit card." She adds: "When I whimper as I watch him pulling his ancient, baggy and fake Calvin Klein pants up over his perfectly formed six-pack to his chin, he snaps 'Oh, stop it. These'll be perfect for the next five years.'" [Telegraph]
• Look for Jennifer Lopez to star in a romcom called Plan B, in which a single woman conceives twins through artificial insemination (her Plan B) only to meet the man of her dreams (her Plan A) on the very same day. OMG what to do? [Hollywood Reporter]
• Reese Witherspoon will star in an untitled project by James L. Brooks, known for Broadcast News, Terms of Endearment and Spanglish. [Variety]
• Six minutes, six minutes, six minutes: Doug E. Fresh is facing triple foreclosure. [US News & World Report]
• Hoochie coochie yaya mama: The Labelle ladies — Patti LaBelle, Nona Hendryx and Sarah Dash — are back, playing a show at Harlem's Apollo Theater Friday and planning a 2009 tour. [USA Today]
• A jury says that three women who own Oscars won by silent film star Mary Pickford cannot sell them; Pickford never wanted the statuettes to be sold. But! Imagine the price those things would fetch? [Yahoo News via AP]
• Kirk Douglas, 92: The oldest celebrity blogger on MySpace. [Reuters]
• Peter Falk has Alzheimer's disease and can no longer run his own life. [TMZ]
• Hollywood private eye Anthony Pellicano's been sentenced to 15 years in prison for spying on the rich and famous. [WSJ]
• El oh el: "A contaminated monkey skull, termite-infested statues and other African artifacts of the so-called reality television show Survivor will not be allowed into the United States." Customs agents seized an bunch of stuff CBS was trying to ship from the African nation of Gabon back to the U.S. [CBS News]
• Mickey Rourke has ordered his tux for awards season: "It's got to have some pink in it," he says. "You're not going to see me ever in just black and white." [USA Today]
• "Brooklyn gets a lot of love. It's time for the Bronx to get a little bit of love too." — Pete Wentz. [Time]
• "I'm still kind of embarrassed to say it, but I had to go and see a therapist for many years and work really hard to find out what made me short circuit. There were just too many things in me that were broken that I didn't know how to fix, so I love my therapist because he took 13 years to sit there with me. I was very ashamed of seeing a therapist because I thought only crazy people went, and then, after about nine years, I asked him, 'Well, was I really crazy?' And he nodded and said, 'You were, but not any more.'" — Mickey Rourke. [Daily Express]
• "I felt the show could not go on any further without having the first black bitch on television. And he agreed." — Diahann Carroll on her conversation with Aaron Spelling about Dynasty. [Telegraph]
• "There are bands that I got into when I was 15, when I was mad at my dad and just wanted to be different. I don't think I'd give those bands half a chance now. But I hold some kind of nostalgia for them that I won't let go. Bands like Minor Threat and Black Flag. If someone just gave that stuff to me and I didn't have any of the associations that went along with punk rock or the angst, do I think that I would just go, Hey, I like this song, as opposed to 'Umbrella' by Rhianna? I'm not sure. I think I would probably go with 'Umbrella.' I'm probably going to get shot for saying that, but it's the truth." — Pete Wentz. [Time]
• "My mates are in a totally different place. I’ve grown up so much over the last few years, and they are still all into going out, and dancing and taking drugs, and they haven’t got work at five in the morning. I hang out with much older people, I go for dinners at posh places and talk about art! I haven’t really talked about this but when I decided I wanted to have a baby, I made a decision to change my life." — Lily Allen. [Spectator]
• "I'm a foodie. I like the best of the best, from sushi at Nobu to cheesecake at Junior’s in Brooklyn." — Jay-Z. [Gatecrasher]

• As part of her ongoing media blitz, Jennifer Aniston is wearing only a necktie on the cover of GQ. In the story, the reporter asks why people are still interested in the story of her breakup with Brad and his ladyfriend, Angelina. Aniston tells the reporter: "The funny thing is that people don't realize we all go away to the Hamptons on the weekends. No. But can you imagine? That'd be hysterical: I've got Zahara on my hip, and Knox...." [Us Magazine]
• Oh, this is not the first time Jen's posed nekkid; she was bare-assed on the cover of Rolling Stone back in 1996. [Extra]
• Don't forget, guys, Jen is working on a movie called Pumas, which she calls "sort of a female Wedding Crashers" about two "aspiring cougars." Roar? [People]
• This Q&A with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio begins with Kate saying, "Where is that little fucker?" because Leo is running late. [EW
• Additionally, Leo talks about current teen heartthrobs Zac Efron and Robert Pattinson: "When I see younger actors getting a tremendous amount of publicity, I say to myself, Well, they’ve been given an unbelievable opportunity, and I hope they know within themselves that all that really matters at the end of the day is the work. All this noise and attention will absolutely deteriorate and there will be a new, fresh piece of meat for the media to focus on within less than a year’s time." [Just Jared]
• These "Gwyneth marriage is on the rocks" stories keep popping up. [Gatecrasher]
• Uh-oh, guess who got beat up in prison? Your old pal, Blake Incarcerated. [The Sun]
• Supposedly pregnant Kate Moss was seen with "poppers," aka amyl nitrite. Tsk, tsk! [Daily Mail]
• Bobby Brown was working on a tell-all book about Whitney Houston, except for the part where he forgot he'd signed a confidentiality agreement in which he promised not to write anything about her. But! There is still a book coming out, written by Derek Handspike, and it has all the stories Bobby promised, like how he "died" three times from drug overdoses; hit Whitney, and had sex with Janet Jackson. Good times. [Fox 411]
• Madonna and Guy: Still locked in a custody battle, even though the divorce has gone through. Madonna's desire to live in the U.S. complicates things. [Daily Mail]
• Pete Wentz is actually Pete Wentz III. So why didn't he name his kid Pete IV? "There is a lineage of Pete's, but this is not a Pete," he says. "I think that it's important to name someone after you meet them and you realize who they are. And when I met my son, he looked like he was a Bronx." [E!]
• By the by, magazines do not want to waste cash on pix of Bronx. [Page Six]
• Heath Ledger's name has been stripped from a new Australian arts center that was supposed to be named in his honor. [News.com.au]
• Nice: Writer Patricia Cornwell is speaking out about same-sex marriage. "If people like me don't take a stand then it will only get worse. We just want to live and let live and be treated in the same way straight people are treated," she says. [Reuters]
• Fiddy Cent: Addicted to success! That's what he says in this video. And he looks good in a suit. [The.Life Files]
• Ever since the National Enquirer reported that Kelly Ripa and Mark Conseulos were splitting up, Kelly has been talking about Mark every day on her show and been spotted kissing him in public. Subtle spin! [NY Mag]
• Score one for Josh Hartnett: The Mirror had to pay him £20,000 in libel damages after printing that he indulged in "steamy shenanigans" with a mystery woman at a London hotel and that they were caught on closed circuit TV. Sorta sad that this story isn't true! [The Star]
• Oh no, more Twilight drama: the studio doesn't want to rehire Taylor Lautner, the actor who played Jacob! Ridiculous, since he is adorbs. They're also dealing with the "obstacle" of finding Native American actors. Again, ridiculous! Didn't Kevin Costner find heaps of them back in the day? [Perez Hilton]
• What a tangled web: Evan Rachel Wood has been cast as Mary Jane in Spider-Man: The Musical. [Perez Hilton]
• Animal rights groups are pissed at Nigella Lawson, who said, "If I could go out into the woods and kill a bear myself, I’d wear it proudly as a trophy." She added: If you’re in nature and it’s either you go or the bear…" [The Sun]
• Can the world take nine seasons of Desperate Housewives? [USA Today]
• LOL! The Top Ten Things Bijou Phillips Hates include "when guys get highlights" and "being too old to play Barbie dolls." [BlackBook]
• What's this? Tori Spelling, aka Donna Martin Graduates, might end up being on 90210 2.0 after all? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Alicia Silverstone on stage! In LA, in the world premiere of Donald Margulies' Time Stands Still. [Variety]
• D-List celebs get paid to "host" New Year's Eve parties? Still? Even in this economy? [Page Six]
• DJ AM: Not impressed by the chick on The Bachelorette. [Page Six]
• Is Abbie Cornish knocked up with Ryan Phillippe's kid? [News.com.au]
• When these Hanson kids have kids we're forced to remember they're not kids. [People]
• Rihanna's nails are happy and sad and happy and sad. [Concrete Loop]
• Yesterday we read Katie "Jordan" Price claims, in her own words, that she is not pregnant; today, this report announces hat she is three months along. [News.com.au]
• This dumb sorta racist song may or may not be rapped by Kevin Federline. Actually, it sounds nothing like him, and that is an awful thing to admit. [The Atlantic]
• Somehow Kylie Minogue doing a musical number a Bollywood film seems absolutely right. [The Sun]
• Prison Break's Lane Garrison has been slapped with a wrongful death lawsuit; he will definitely have to pay up! [Perez Hilton]
• Ben Stiller will replace Mark Ruffalo Greenburg, a comedy-drama Noah Baumbach is writing and directing. (Baumbach was nominated for an Oscar for The Squid and the Whale and is married to Jennifer Jason Leigh.) [The Hollywood Reporter]
• The wife of disgraced private eye Anthony Pellicano is getting a reality show, in which she and her three daughters try to figure out how to fund their extravagant lifestyle without Hubs/Daddy. [Variety]
• Jessica Lange and Sam Shepard have sold their Minnesota house at a loss. [UPI]
• Stop, oh ho ho stop me, stop me if you think that you've heard this one before: The Smiths are talking about a reunion. [Telegraph]
• Documents from the archives of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. were supposed to be auctioned off; Harry Belafonte, who owned the papers, withdrew them from sale right before the auction. [NY Times]
• "She's been saying that for years. I have nothing against her but I'm still living and working. You know I'm not dead yet." — Stevie Nicks on Lindsay Lohan's obsession to play her in a movie. [Perez Hilton]
• "My target audience is females between the ages of 70 and 85." — Enrique Iglesias. [Mirror]
• "I'm very intelligent. I'm capable of doing everything put to me. I've two records, I've launched a perfume and I want my own hotel chain. I'm the living proof that blondes are not stupid." — Paris Hilton. [The Sun]
• "Hey everyone! I haven't written in a while, just wanted to write and check in! Motherhood is the most fantastic experience I have ever been thru, Bronx makes me laugh and smile everyday! I finally left the house for Fall Out Boy's show on Monday night, which was so good. Their new songs sound awesome live, I can't wait for their new record! And last night I went to Pete and Bronx's godfather Travis' artshow. It's amazing to see how many artistic outlets those boys have! Made me very proud. It was an awesome show and so many of our friends and family came out to support. I hope you guys have a great holiday, I can't wait to spend it with my new family. Christmas tree goes up tomorrow!" — Ashlee Simpson's MySpace blog. [ET]
• "I was never single in the industry — when the movies came out and I started getting more jobs, I was always married. So [becoming the subject of romance rumors] is very new to me, and it hits you very fast because the publications jump on you. You’re dating everybody you walk around with — you can’t have any male friends. It’s weird.' — Kate Hudson. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "We were both relishing [the fights]. Reading those sequences where these people are at each other's throats and having these suburban knockout, drag-out fights? Look, there's not many actresses like Kate Winslet who you know can endure anything you give them and give it right back." — Leonardo DiCaprio. [EW]
• [Sudden fame] did affect my choices as an actress, definitely. In a good way. It really made me sit and think, ''Okay, you know what? Don't worry about the fact that there's 10 paparazzi outside the door, don't worry about the fact that people may be expecting completely different things from you right now just because you're suddenly so famous. This doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme of what you love about your job.' So in a way, Titanic has played a very big part in being able to hang on to a sense of who I am, because I felt that I had to fight for it then at a very young age." — Kate Winslet. [EW]

• Holy double zygote! Star is reporting that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are having twins. Again. Fertility treatments, duh. More in Midweek Madness. [Star]
• Meanwhile, in this clip, Brad Pitt says he thinks Angelina is gorgeous: "I get up some mornings and gasp." [E!]
• Pitt's next production: Starring as a British soldier and spy in The Lost City Of Z, an epic flick about Percy Fawcett, who left Victorian society to explore in the Amazon. [Variety]
• Wow, don't call it a comeback: Britney's Circus is the number one CD in the country, with 505,073 copies sold (which means it's gone gold). Of course, Oops! I Did It Again sold 1,319,193 units during its first week of sales, which means it was platinum — and eventually went diamond. But congrats! [AP, The.Life Files]

• Remember how Lindsay Lohan was seen with Sean Penn? They're thinking about possibly doing a film together. Is she working on… anything? [Page Six]
• Even though Jennifer Hudson has been in seclusion since her family was murdered in October, she will begin filming a video for her new single, "If This Isn't Love," next week. Back to work. [AP, USA Today]
• The woman under arrest for murder says that Mark Ruffalo's brother, Scott, died after playing Russian roulette. She's claiming Scott was a known cocaine user who played with guns in front of various witnesses. [NY Daily News]
• Mark Ruffalo has released a statement, which reads, in part: "Mark Ruffalo and his family deeply appreciate the outpouring of prayers and support during this most difficult time of the passing of Scott Ruffalo, beloved son, brother and husband. The funeral service will be private." [TMZ]
• And now the woman arrested in the shooting death of Scott Ruffalo has been cleared; the gunshot wound was, in fact, apparently self-inflicted. [Yahoo News via AP]
• This report claims that Shaha Adham, the woman accused in the Ruffalo murder, is a "dime-a-dozen Saudi princess." [MediaBistro]
• There's a new lawsuit in the Travis Barker/DJ Am plane crash: The surviving wife and son of Chris Baker, Barker's best friend and assistant, has filed with L.A. County Superior Court that the pilots "negligently decided to abort and/or reject the takeoff." [TMZ]
• Nicole Richie's jewelry line, House Of Harlow 1960, has debuted; look for it at ShopKitson.com. Nic Rich sez: "Obviously, the birth of my daughter is the best thing ever. Just in general, it's been a really great year for me. Everything's just kind of coming together. All of my dreams are becoming a reality." And does Harlow like fashion? "She likes to dress up. You can see it in her face. I'm not too caught up in her fashion at the moment. I just let her wear what's comfortable for her. But she loves tights." [USA Today]
• Gossip Girl gossip: Blake Lively and Penn Badgley might be on the rocks! Blake was seen making out with a random blond dude, and the next morning, Blake and Penn had an "awkward brunch." In other GG news, Ed "I'm Chuck Bass" Westwick was seen "really drunk." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Maybe making out: Gossip Girl's Chace Crawford and Taylor Momsen. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio lost his wallet, but found it again. [Page Six]
• Since Anne Hathaway is promoting Bride Wars, naturally, reporters are asking her about marriage. She says: "Of course, like everyone, I'm kind of going through a moment where I'm like, 'Do I even believe in marriage? What's going on?' I do think eventually someday — if I met the right person — I would get married." [Daily Express]
• Twilight fans! Get your own Robert Pattinson doll, complete with bizarre eyeliner, pastel lipstick and artfully disheveled hair. [Best Week Ever]
• El oh el. This story claims "Robert Pattinson's masculinity ended his modeling career." [Daily Express]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham says she cringes when she sees pictures of herself where her "boobs were around her neck." So do we! And there are plenty of pix in this story, so click away. [Daily Mail]
• Grey's Anatomy's T.R. Knight is looking to be released from his contract: "He’s not inspired by his story, by George," a source says. "He’s convinced he can do films. It’s as simple as that." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Jim Carrey broke three ribs doing a pratfall for his new movie Yes Man. "But the first thing I thought of was 'must look cool, man.'" [The Star]
• Whatever you do, don't call Jeremy Piven "Ari Gold." [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which TV actor secretly gets very friendly with the same sex, despite a slew of female exes?" [Gatecrasher]
• Apparently Paul McCartney has dozens of wild boar on his estate in Peasmarsh, East Sussex, UK, and neighbors claim they're damaging crops, trees and gardens. It's legal to "humanely" "cull" the boar — culll as in KILL — and McCartney refuses, because, as we all know, he's an animal rights advocate. [Telegraph]
• Carrie Fisher on her electroshock therapy: "They put you to sleep, and the electricity is just in your head. It wiped out four months of memory, but at my age, what's going to happen in four months that won't happen again?" [USA Today]
• Will Ferrell made a scene at the Oscar De La Hoya fight in Vegas. [Page Six]
• Brody Jenner is talking about The Hills but not saying anything interesting. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Some photographer knocked over Joan Rivers? How dare he! [Page Six]
• Jon Schneider, aka Bo Duke, had his SUV stolen from a mall outside of L.A. last week — and there were two puppies, meant to be Christmas gifts for his kids, inside. The car's been recovered, but the puppies are still missing! Click and see how cute they are. [TMZ, AP]
• Remember how DMX has been a wanted man? He's now in custody, after being arrested in Florida yesterday. He'll be sent to Arizona, where he'll face charges of drug possession, identity theft, and animal cruelty. Gonna make me lose my mind up in here! [Perez Hilton]
• The woman who accused actor-writer Tyler Perry of stealing her play for his movie, Diary Of A Mad Black Woman, lost her lawsuit. [Yahoo News via AP]
• You guys know that Darius Rucker, the black guy from Hootie and the Blowfish, is a country singer now, right? "I'm used to being the only black guy," he says. "I've seriously walked onstage, looked out in the audience, 15,000 people — and I'm the only one in the place. It's no big deal. My whole career's been like that… I just want to play." [WaPo]
• Wanna see what the creepy banjo kid in Deliverance looks like all growed up? [TMZ]
• "I am NOT pregnant." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [Daily Mail]
• "I'll smoke anything that comes around. It doesn't matter to me what type it is. People like to give me it. They feel that I shouldn't be without it. The vaporizer makes it easier on my lungs, because I was coughing and wheezing a lot" — Willie Nelson in Rolling Stone. [Page Six]
• "It seems that 'human rights' has become a bit of a loaded term in this country, but if you look at the declaration that countries made 60 years ago, it just sets out a series of basic rules about how people should treat each other… I wanted to be part of this film for Amnesty to help raise awareness of the UDHR and to help them, in a small way, to campaign against the abuses of human rights that are still happening every day." — Keira Knightley, who is part of Amnesty International's Protect the Human campaign and in a short film about the adoption of the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR). [The Star]
• "[If there were no paparazzi] I would take Harlow to the park. I feel that sometimes I don't get to do everything that I want to do with her. But you know what? I'm not complaining at all. She has a really great life. My life is what it is, and people have it a lot worse than me." — Nicole Richie. [USA Today]

• Jennifer Aniston on John Mayer: "He's a rare one. He is extraordinary and it is wonderful to watch him... the way his brain works and the way he thinks thoughts... it's beautiful." Is this the same John Mayer we know? [Mirror, The Sun]
• Remember how Jennifer Aniston had dinner with Gerard Butler? They're in negotiations to star in an "untitled bounty hunter project" from Columbia pictures. [Variety]
• While the world crumbles all around us, Katie Holmes has helped the Broadway show All My Sons turn a profit. She's box-office gold! Says a source: "Of course, it's not just her, it's [costars] John Lithgow and Dianne Wiest, but no one will say that." [E!]
• Oh, dear: Blake Fielder Civil gave Amy Winehouse drugs when he visited her in the hospital. [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse's mom says: "We're so happy he's back in jail. We hope he's in there for a long time. We're all so furious with Blake for what he's done to Amy." [Mirror]
• What's this? Amy is working on a new album? And using her lyrics to trash her "junkie jailbird hubby"? This could be good. [Mirror]

• Jessica Biel plays a stripper in a flick called Powder Blue and really, uh, commits. Click to see video of homegirl working the pole in a strappy leather getup. Also, this movie looks like it will break your heart. [ONTD]
• Mariah Carey was seen leaving the gynecologist's office in L.A., so she must be knocked up. [Mirror]
• PETA is pissed again, this time because Britney Spears used cruelly trained lions and elephants in her "Circus" video. [PETA]
• Hmm, Britney is requiring all of her backup dancers take drug tests? In an effort to keep her away from negative influences? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Jay Leno is getting a prime time show on NBC, at 10 o'clock. It won't be the Tonight Show, because that will still come on at 11:35, and the new host will be Conan O'Brien. But Leno's new show may have some elements of the Tonight Show, like "Jay Walking" and the monologue. So how will it be different? We'll have to wait and see. [NY Times]
• This was in Midweek Madness but here it is again: Tom Brady and Gisele are planning a wedding in Costa Rica. And Kate Moss is pregnant. Congrats all around? [NY Mag]
• Kate Moss is supposedly making a "big" announcement next week. [The Sun]
• Nicole Kidman is no longer the highest paid actress in Hollywood, probably because her films never made that much. Writes Hadley Freedman: "This is known as Aniston's Law: just because an actress makes for an appealing magazine cover does not mean that people want to see them act." [Guardian]
• Double divorces in the Ritchie family: Guy's brother is splitting from his wife; she claims he "fell into a spiral of heavy drinking brought on by his champagne lifestyle." [Daily Mail]
• Even though Madonna won a judgment against The Mail on Sunday for publishing wedding photos, the battle isn't over: The pix were stolen from her Beverly Hills home by an interior decorator and were also published in OK! magazine. OK! printed a retraction which read: "It has since come to our attention that the individual who supplied the photographs to us had no right to do so and the photographs were not authorized for publication." But that might not be good enough; Madge might sue. [MSNBC]
• Lost's Josh Holloway, aka Sawyer, is gonna be a dad: His wife, Yessica is expecting her first child. That's a good lookin' couple right there, expect a cute cute kid! [People]
• Anne Hathaway auctioned herself off for charity: "I will take you and a friend somewhere fabulous and basically get you totally shit faced," she said. The money raised from the event went to the Trevor Project, which operates a crisis suicide prevention line for LGBT youth. Anne went for $12,000 and was totally shocked. "I could not get a date for the prom," she claimed. Click for video! [E!]
• Whoa, Oprah is still seeing that Stedman dude? She says, "I happen to be with a man who has always appreciated the fact that I was...considered a powerful person, and gives me the space to be that." So much space we like, never see him? [E!]
• In case you were wondering, Oprah weighs 200 pounds and has "fallen off the wagon." She says: "I'm mad at myself. I'm embarrassed." [AP, WWD]
• The man and woman considered "persons of interest" in the shooting of Mark Ruffalo's brother have turned themselves in to cops. [ET]
• This just in: Mark Ruffalo's brother, Scott, has died. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus's new video involves the teen dream being chased by paparazzi, a totally new and never before explored concept. [Perez Hilton]
• By the by, Miley Cyrus says: "It's important at Christmastime to be daring – to put your cell phone and your computer away and actually be with your family and not just be worrying about other things that you can deal with every other day." [People]
• Ben Affleck will direct a film about the Arizona Project, the tale of a murdered reporter investigating political corruption. [Hollywood Reporter]
• The real Aaron Rose thinks the Gossip Girl Aaron Rose sucks. "I wish they would have made him cooler." [NY Post]
• New Lost video! Secrets about Ben Linus revealed! [E!]
• Despite what you may have heard, 90210's Brenda Walsh is not going to die! "They're not killing off her character," says Shenae Grimes, who plays Annie. But is it all a ruse? [Yahoo News via E!]
• Yes, yes, we know: There's a Cosby Show-inspired porn flick in the works, which a tipster called "The Fuxtables." [Comedy Central]
• Cate Blanchett got a letter from fans in Australia who'd had their farm repossessed. "The woman from the bank, who had repossessed the farm was called Caitlin Blankett. The man had written to me saying would I please change my name because every time his wife sees my films she bursts into tears." Cate is considering a new moniker: "I quite like the name Ethel." [Daily Express]
• Robert De Niro cried when Barack Obama won. [Daily Express]
• Debra Messing plays the career-driven wife of John Leguizamo in the new film Nothing Like The Holidays: "I'd never been an outsider in a film," Messing says. "I very much felt like the white Jewish girl and it was the first time I had ever been the minority on the set." [Reuters]
• Click to see a trailer of Benicio Del Toro in Che! [Telegraph]
• Kylie Minogue "snubbed" a personal invitation from David Bekham to watch him play football - -and went to an Alicia Keys show instead. Did she make the right choice? [The Sun]
• Dancing With The Stars champ Brooke Burke is signing 1,000 holiday cards to send to overseas troops who can't be home for the holidays. She'll also send pictures of herself wearing military fatigues. What's next? "I don't know!" she says. "I'd really love to work on a sitcom." [USA Today]
• American Idol winner Fantasia: Losing her home due to foreclosure. [Perez Hilton]
• Can you picture Keanu Reeves as a samurai? He'll star in 47 Ronin, an epic period film based on the true tale of a band of swordsmen who avenged the death of their master in 18th century Japan. [Variety]
• The 1998 film Out Of Sight, starring Jennifer Lopez and George Clooney, was named the "Sexiest Film Of All Time" in an Entertainment Weekly poll. Do we agree? [Times Of India]
• Actor Stacy Keach talks about golf, playing Richard Nixon and doing cocaine. [Reuters]
• "I don't really have a vested interest in what they do career-wise, so long as it's neither destructive to their bodies nor illegal. And hopefully not destructive to other people's bodies either." — Jennifer Connelly, on her kids. [Guardian]
• "A lot of actors didn't do well in school… as I turned into an actor, I felt like learning was no longer a job. It was like a passion. I learnt a lot about Cuba, the Sixties, Latin American history. It doesn't matter which way you cut it, it's my roots." — Benicio Del Toro. [Telegraph]
• "I like doing things that are completely unpredictable. I like the idea of — not shocking people — but just throwing people off. Doing something that makes them go: 'Whoa, she did that next? Wow! I didn't think she was going to do that!' That makes me feel like I'm able to do something interesting." — Kate Winslet. [UPI]
• "I do sometimes wish that I could live with less attention but not being totally ignored by the world. It's very wearing to be a celebrity. I wonder if people are going to follow me or if someone is going to pop out of nowhere with a camera. I get very angry but I'm trying not to let it stop me from living. You're sort of straddling that fine line between being kind and courteous and everything that your mother raised you to be to strangers that come up and refuse to respect your privacy." — Michelle Williams. [Parade]

• Lindsay Lohan says that she and Samantha Ronson are still going strong, and if they were to break up, we'd hear it from the mouths of babes, or rather, Lindsay's MySpace blog. "all in all-[paparazzi] should just stop asking altogether, once and for all if she and i are broken up because frankly, if we ever ever did…. i would say it before they could even think of asking. i'd say it here probably… i say everything here on myspace." [Perez ]
• Madonna is suing the British tabloid Mail on Sunday for publishing photos of her wedding to Guy Ritchie. Yes, the wedding took place 8 years ago, but for some reason, the Mail printed the photos on October 18th of this year, and now Madge wants £5 million because the photos were stolen from her Beverly Hills home. Is Madge really that hard up for cash these days? [BBC]

• Police have a prime suspect in mind for the shooting of Mark Ruffalo's brother, Scott: a woman named Shaha Mishaal Adham. According to TMZ, "Sources close to the investigation tell us Adham is related to members of Saudi Arabian royalty." [TMZ]
• Three fans rustled up $12,000 to win a date with Anne Hathaway, with proceeds going to the Trevor Project, a crisis helpline for LGBT youth. "I'm not usually very forward," Anne said at the Project's auction last night, "but I thought if there was ever a crowd for me to do something like this, this is my crowd so I would like to auction myself off for drinks somewhere fabulous and basically get you totally s—- faced. Tell me what I'm worth." [People]
• Even though they've been broken up for months now, Michael Bublé says that he will always be sweet on Emily Blunt. "I will always love her. We're still friends," he says. He even has nice things to say about her new beau, John Krasinski! "I love that guy in The Office. He’s great," Bublé claims as he stabs a "Jim" bobble head with a toothpick under the table. [People]
• Gossip Girl real life romance alert! Jessica Szohr (Vanessa) and Ed Westwick (duh, Chuck Bass) were spotted holding hands on a chilly New York eve recently. [Just Jared]
• Tween star (and Julia Roberts's niece) Emma Roberts won't just rest on her acting laurels: the 17-year-old is applying to college. The most expensive ones in the country, naturally! "When I got to Sarah Lawrence or NYU, I could really see myself walking around here making friends," says Emma. [People]
• Erm, there are rumors that Heath Ledger was supposed to make a low budget indie about politics in Thailand, and now Richard Gere is replacing him. According to E!, "'The film had to be rewritten a little,' says a key source working on the project, when they switched the character from a hunky, brooding guy in his mid-20s to, uh, Gere. Yeah, just a bit." Gere's peeps are denying the story. [E! Online]
• Ugly Betty's Eric Mabius just had a son, Rylan Jaxon Mabius, with wife Ivy Sherman, whom he met in high school. This is the couple's second boy. [Just Jared]
• Will Smith admits that sex scenes make him anxious. "My worst nightmare is for an actress to ... feel like I'm taking this opportunity to get a little quickie feel – you know, some legal cheating going on!" Aw, who loves his squeaky clean family man image sooooo much? [People]
• The Mirror]
• Singer Robin Thicke, the son of Growing Pains star Alan, says his Dad is way cooler than he is. "Every time I think I'm kind of cool, I hang out with my dad and he always out cools me," Robin says. He added that the dad from Family Matters is actually the coolest person in the entire world. Who knew! [CBS News]
• Ryan Seacrest was allegedly seen sucking face with rehabbed Miss USA Tara Connor, though apparently he says they're "just friends." Seacrest, out (of taste)! [Perez]
• PETA is pissed at Britney Spears for using exotic animals — specifically elephants — in her "Circus" video. We're guessing she has enough to deal with and will be ignoring PETA's impassioned missives. [PETA]
• Janet Jackson is not preggo. In case you were wondering. [UPI ]
• Beyonce and her lil' sis Solange cancelled a Holiday charity concert in Houston because of scheduling conflicts. "Beyonce and Solange regret the cancellation of their Houston-area holiday concert and urge their fans to support the efforts of The Gulf Coast Ike Relief Fund and the Survivor Foundation," they said in a statement. [UPI]
• South Park creator Matt Stone just got married to longtime love Angela Howard. Congrats! [BoingBoing]

• Jennifer Aniston talked to Entertainment Weekly about the tabloid reports that she's knocked up with John Mayer's baby: "Oh my God, it's hysterical. It's almost going to take away the fun from actually being able to say one day, 'I'm pregnant!' Stop stealing my thunder, motherfuckers!" Plus: She wasn't thrilled that Vogue used that "What Angelina did was very uncool" coverline: "I was just surprised that Vogue would go so tabloid. I was bummed. But you almost expect it. Big deal. Done. Next." [Yahoo News via E!]
• More from the EW cover story with Aniston: ''Everyone projects their thoughts on you. Everyone's got an opinion. I wish they didn't. I've gotten to the point where, if I focus on all of that stuff, I won't make a move, you know?" [EW]
• The prosecutor in the William Balfour trial alleges that the accused killed Jennifer Hudson's relatives because he was angry that his estranged wife was dating another man. Balfour has a long rap sheet full of drug offenses and car theft. A person from the neighborhood says: "He was always doing crazy [things], trying to carjack people." [USA Today, AP]
• As part of his Benjamin Button promotional obligations, Brad Pitt spoke to Larry King and talked about his mustache (it's for that Quentin Tarantino flick he's shooting right now), his kids ("Whenever they want to take over, we're ready"), and Barack Obama: "I think, overnight, we redefined what America's about. I couldn't be any happier and more hopeful for the — for America, for the upcoming — in the upcoming years." [CNN]

• Here's the entire Brad Pitt/Larry King transcript. It's interesting when Brad says, "I got to spend a few decades being idiotic and hell-bent and solipsistic, and everything else… I got time to get all that out of my system." And Larry asks, "You mean there was a wild Brad Pitt?" And Brad says: "I mean, wild in my book, yes. Yes, sure. I got away with a lot, Larry." [CNN]
• Madonna is taking Alex Rodriguez on tour with her in Brazil. Taking sand to the beach? [The Sun]
• It's good to be Oprah! She's taking her show to D.C. for the inauguration and has rented out the Opera House at the Kennedy Center to film her talk show the week of Jan. 20. "That's the place to be," she says, which means it is irrefutably true. [Time]
• Barbra Streisand is headed to D.C. for the Kennedy Center's Annual Honors gala on Sunday. Also being honored: Morgan Freeman, country star George Jones, The Who's Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey and choreographer Twyla Tharp. [Page Six]
• This report claims that Amy Winehouse gave her husband Blake Fielder-Civil a "farewell bonk" in the hospital before he went to jail. Apparently Blake "dashed" to Amy's bedside after failing his drug test, told her how sexy she looked, and, a source says, "It was obvious what went on." In a hospital bed. Then he zipped up his pants and went back to jail. [The Sun]
• A college class about Amy Winehouse?!? The singer's life is a music course at the University of the West of Scotland. Professor Allan Dumbreck says: "Amy Winehouse is a great example of the potential pitfalls in the music industry. She is recognised as a multi-award-winning great artist. But the by-product of that lifestyle can be stress and illness. We would look at how the industry is often not a supporter of longevity." [Telegraph]
• If you want to see Britney's "Circus" video, click away. What you'll see: Britney using her own damn perfume; people dancing in a circus ring; Brit and couple of lions yawning at each other. Christina Aguilera's circus-themed video was better. Also, does anyone really believe Britney is the "ring leader" of her show? [Pop Sugar]
• Britney "seemingly had no close friends on hand as she blew out her birthday candles" the other night in New York. Sniff. [Page Six]
• Another source says birthday girl Brit was "so out of it." [Rush & Molloy]
• Why did Kevin Federline talk to People about Britney? One source says: "He doesn’t do anything unless there is a financial motive behind it, period. There’s a fee connected to everything he does." Another source claims: "He’s been hounded for more than a year about telling his side of things. He’s just tossing a little out there in a place he trusts so that he can move on." Move on to what? [MSNBC Scoop]
• By the by, Britney's first husband, Jason Alexander, is in jail. [Star]
• Does Heidi Klum want Britney to be on Project Runway? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ooh, so as seen in Midweek Madness, Star claims that Jamie Lynn Spears had lipo while pregnant, but JLS is so angry about this "100% NOT true" story that she might sue. [TMZ]
• We should have seen this coming: Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen has a band. [Page Six]
• Balthazar Getty thinks Sienna Miller has been unfairly portrayed as a villain: "You can’t just point your finger at one person. Historically, women always get the short end of the stick." [The Sun]
• Katy Perry made a plaster cast of her boobs, so if you want to buy her rack, head over to the auction. It's for charity. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Kim Kardashian posed for Playboy once, and she might do it again! "Lately I have steered away from the sexier shoots, but it doesn't mean I'm afraid to be sexy or ashamed of that. I have no regrets." [People]
• Heidi Montag's mom on Heidi and Spencer's marriage: "I give it six months." [MSNBC]
• The Grammys will be handed out February 8 in L.A. Click for a complete list of the nominations: Lil Wayne got 8; Coldplay has 7; Jay-Z, Kanye West and Ne-Yo each scored six. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Dark Knight fans have casting picks for director Christopher Nolan: Johnny Depp as the Riddler and Angelina Jolie as Harley Quinn. [PR Newswire]
• Did Kathie Lee Gifford steal the idea for her "Everyone Has A Story" segment on the Today show from a musician who pitched the concept last year? [TMZ]
• Did you know that when Haley Joel Osment was busted for DUI at age 18, he vowed to stop drinking until he turned 21? He only has about four months to go. [Daily Express]
• Mark Ruffalo's brother was shot in the back of the head at his Beverly Hills home in an "execution-style" attack, but is clinging to life. [NY Post]
• Will Paris Hilton land the role of Tinker Bell in the Disney live-action movie??? [Page Six]
• Anne Heche is expecting her first child with boyfriend James Tupper. She just got over a custody battle with ex Coley Laffoon, over their 6-year-old son, Homer. [E!]
• Mark your calendars: March 12 will be the last episode of ER, ever. [LA Times]
• Hilary Swank will star in Resident, a thriller in which a doctor moves into a Brooklyn loft and becomes suspicious that her landlord is a stalker. [Variety]
• Magical Elves, the producers formerly behind Project Runway have moved on: The next project? A reality show about The Hills PR queen Kelly Cutrone, which would "showcase the nitty-gritty side of fashion publicity." Honestly? That woman is a character. This could be a hit. [Page Six]
• Simon Cowell was spotted hanging out with an ex-girlfriend, Jackie St. Claire. That's a name right out of a trashy novel, no? [Perez Hilton]
• Former Destiny's Child singer Kelly Rowland is big in Europe, according to an email that seems to have been sent out by someone trying to promote Kelly Rowland. [MollyGood]
• Katie "Jordan" Price says Dwight Yorke, the football player who fathered her son, Harvey, hasn't seen his kid in a year. Harvey is is partially blind and has a growth disorder; Jordan says: "I know Dwight's got another child now and he's focused on that one… I couldn't give a fuck about his girlfriend, or him, but I think he should take care of his son." [Perez Hilton]
• Phil Collins' 19-year-old daughter Lily is stunning! [Daily Mail]
• Jewelry formerly owned and worn by Hollywood screen legend Deborah Kerr: Up for auction! Her three-stone diamond engagement ring is pretty, sigh. [The Star]
• Sadie Frost is wearing underwear and stockings in an exhibition of photos, yawn. [The Sun]
• Tori Amos has a new record deal, with Universal: Her 10th album should be out in late spring 2009. [Yahoo News]
• Tim Robbins has fired CAA. Matthew Broderick and Greg Kinnear may leave CAA next. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Dear Hollywood, Why would you remake Romancing The Stone? Why? [Hollywood Reporter]
• "I think Sienna [Miller] might have been [treated unfairly]… It takes two to tango, man. You can't just point your finger at one person. Historically, women always get the short end of the stick….they're [Rosetta and Sienna] both very special people in my life." — Balthazar Getty. [Perez Hilton]
• "I just finished a couple of episodes, and I'll go back in the new year and do another one of those, and then we'll see what happens." — Jon Hamm, on playing Liz Lemon's love interest on 30 Rock. [AP]
• "I wasn't going to give up who I was before I had the baby. It's important to stay true to that as an example — also for my son to find out what his goals are, what he's passionate about doing, so it's sort of leading by example in that sense. It's a tough thing. I had a moment leaving him today to get ready for tonight of missing him, but every working mom goes through it. They know what it feels like." — Christina Aguilera, on the "balancing act" of parenthood and career. [AP]
• "Initially, I was very worried it would be difficult to concentrate [on the sex]. But Leo was fine with it, which relaxed me. And I never sensed Sam feeling awkward. Quite the opposite. He'd yell from the other room: 'Press your hand into her back more! And when you take her face, really grab it!' Maybe if it had been anyone else but Leo, it would have been weird. But we're not really like grownups. We're like two little boys." — Kate Winslet, on shooting Revolutionary Road, directed by her husband, Sam Mendes, and co-starring Leonardo DiCaprio. [Rush & Molloy]
• "Well, the pictures for W, you know, it's a really strange feeling. It's something Angie and I had to talk a lot about, especially with the birth of Shiloh. You know, these pictures were going to come out — these pictures are — you know, I'm talking about the pictures of the kids. There's a bounty on our heads. And these pictures are going to come out at some point. And they're going to be chasing us, and they're going to — they're going to go to the ends of the earth to get these photos. And we just thought, well, maybe we could — since there's such a bounty, and that bounty is so obnoxious, we could take that money and funnel it to something good. And that's what we decided to do. It's still a bit uncomfortable to do such a thing, but I know it's right in the end. And that was a decision we made. The W photos were just — we just didn't want to leave the house, so we just figured we'd do it ourselves, and had a good time doing it." — Brad Pitt. [CNN]

• K-Fed is opening up about his marriage to Britney in this week's People. " I never thought that I would get married but it wound up happening. That was a really, really, happy, exciting moment. I pretty much realized that I was giving my life to her, and I was doing it without question," the Fed says. [People]
• Are Kelly Ripa and longtime hubs Mark Consuelos dunzo? The National Enquirer says that the pair is separating. However, it is impossible to tell if Ripa is shedding silent invisible tears under that relentlessly perky facade. [Jossip]
• And get this: Ripa's rep denies all! The flack says, "There is no truth to the story. Their marriage continues to be quite healthy, and the National Enquirer should be ashamed for fabricating such an untruthful story." Isn't that what Madge's rep said six months ago? [People]
• Mark Ruffalo's brother, hairstylist Scott, was shot in the head in Beverly Hills earlier this week. He is in critical condition. [ET Online]

• James Franco is on the cover of this month's BlackBook wearing a leather jacket. He looks totally James Dean and not at all Jason Priestley. [Blackbook]
• Lance Bass thinks Britney is ready for a comeback, but adds, "I don't think she needs any advice from me." We concur! [People]
• Celine Dion was on CBS this morning, dishing about her frozen embryo. "Yes, we do have a frozen embryo," said the plucky French Canadian. "We'd love to extend the family," she continued. "I started to talk to Rene Charles about it. He said 'Can we have four and five?' So if we're blessed again, I will be very happy to come back and do another interview with you and talk about it. I will be the first one to be extremely happy." [CBS News]
• A-Rod will allegedly accompany Madonna on her trip to Brazil later this month for two performances in Rio. They're definitely Madariguez south of the equator. [Perez]
• So, Boy George is on trial for assaulting a male escort, and his lawyers are arguing that George was "too fat" to have perpetrated that crime. Could this case get any more tawdry? [Daily Mail]
• Bea Arthur will be inducted into the Television Hall of Fame on December 9th. I'm sure she'll thank us for being her friends, pals, confidantes, etc. [AP]
• The Gossip Girl producers loved Ed Westwick from the moment he read for the part of Chuck Bass. However, the network was not so pleased. "But he looks like a serial killer!" they protested. Lucky for us the producers won out. Also: the fictional GG kids will go to college next year in the show. [NYM]
• Speidi's wedding rings are literally the ugliest effing things we've ever seen. [TMZ]
• Pete Wentz says baby Bronx was a "happy accident." He tells Details, "I think that certain things happen for a reason in your life, and maybe it was time to put the wild child in a cage." [People]

Sure, he's cute for the 120 minutes of a movie, but how annoying would it be to make all the decisions while a hoodie-clad yes-man stands sweetly off to your side? Actually, there's a pathetic paucity of boyfriend material in film these days, and it's because the men of romantic comedies are forced into one-dimensional stereotypes just as often as the women are.

We're always railing against Hollywood for forcing women to choose from roles that are either hookers, victims, doormats or pixies, but the options for men are similarly limiting. There are three categories of men in romantic comedies. They're either EFMs like Cera, Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and a Funeral and Notting Hill and Zach Braff in Garden State, personality-free perfect cyphers like James Marsden in 27 Dresses, Colin Firth in Bridget Jones's Diary (don't let the fact that it's Firth fool you. This character is not well developed or realistic!) or Mark Ruffalo in 13 Going on 30, or stonery slackers like Seth Rogen in everything or Kal Penn in the Harold and Kumar movies.

I tried to think of dudes in romantic films with fully developed, complicated, non-stereotypical characters whom I'd actually want to date/screw in real life, and the list is pretty flimsy:

• Ryan Reynolds in Definitely, Maybe or Just Friends
• Ryan Gosling in The Notebook
• Paul Rudd in Clueless
• Taye Diggs in The Best Man
• Cary Elwes in The Princess Bride
• Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna in Y Tu Mama Tambien
• John Cusack in Grosse Pointe Blank

I can't even include Cusack in Say Anything, because Lloyd Dobler is borderline EFM. Is there an untapped well of boyfriend material that I'm missing? Where are the Paul Newmans of this modern world? Help a girl out!

On The Brink [Hollywood Elsewhere]

Earlier: Manic Pixie Dream Girls Are The Scourge Of Modern Cinema
Cool Hand Paul: Thinking Woman's Sex Symbol

[New York, September 21. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Britney Spears spends $102,000 a month on entertainment and $16,000 on clothes, according to court papers detailing her finances. She also has $50,000 going to her mortgage, $10,000 for utilities and $6,000 for child care. A month! She should hire us. For $102K a month we could be soooo entertaining. [Page Six]
  
• Guess what? Despite doing hardly any traditional promotion, Britney may have the number one CD in the country by the end of the sales period on Sunday. [E!]
  
• An arrest is imminent in the case involving abuse allegations at the school for girls Oprah Winfrey founded in South Africa. [People]

• Heather Mills says she pleaded with husband Paul McCartney for a "gentle and quick" divorce. "I'm going to be crucified. I'm going to have a modern-day stoning. You know why we split, you know the truth," she told him. Sick of this yet? [Page Six]
• Does rapper Eminem (twice divorced from Kim Mathers) have a new girlfriend? Do you care? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Garner debuted on Broadway last night — she plays Roxane in Cyrano de Bergerac — and got decent reviews from The New York Times and her husband, Ben Affleck, who said, "She did fine!" [People]
• The new Spice Girls video is debuting today! Come on, say you'll be there. [People]
• Tennis star Martina Hingis tested positive for cocaine — but claims she is "100% innocent" and would rather retire from professional tennis than try and fight the doping officials. Snort! [People]
• Amy Winehouse is appealing her $714 fine for marijuana possession in Norway — she didn't understand that accepting a fine in Norway is the same as pleading guilty. Also, she was probably stoned. [People]
• Amy Winehouse's dad wants her husband Blake to go to jail (he'll be in court on an assault charge in a few weeks) because it'll give Amy time to sort things out. Seeing as how she is so attached to Blake, it'll probably make her more insane, but whatevs. [Mirror]
• You've heard time and time again about the stuff they fake on The Hills, but this is a new one: Producers are casting the part of Heidi Montag's maid of honor. When are they going to do the episode where Spencer is in a minor accident that leaves him temporarily mute and wheelchair-bound? [E!]
• Blind item! This one is from Ted Casablanca, so we're translating here: A fairly good-looking guy from semifamous lineage, who has appeared on TV but also dabbles in music and design, got a nonfamous chick knocked up. And she's keeping the baby. And it's not Shia LaBeouf, Tony Romo or John Mayer. [E!]
• Vincent "Don Vito" Margera, who often appeared on nephew Bam Margera's show Viva La Bam and Jackass on MTV, was convicted on two felony counts of sexual assault on a child Wednesday. He reportedly cried out "Just kill me now" and fell to the floor as the verdict was read and is now on suicide watch in jail. [MTV]
• Actor Mark Ruffalo's wife has given birth to a daughter, their third child. [People]