• In an exclusive interview, Blake Fielder-Civil says: "I dragged Amy into it and without me there is no doubt that she would never have gone down that road. I ruined something beautiful." He admits he got Amy Winehouse hooked on heroin, crack cocaine and self-harm. "The first time Amy took crack she asked me, 'Can I try a bit of that.' When I see pictures of Amy and the state she’s in it tears my heart out. I just want to pick her up and help her. But I can’t — because I’m the man who caused it all. It scares me to death that I can’t fix Amy." He also talks about watching her have seizures and why they both cut themselves. [News Of The World]
• Britney Spears was supposed to perform at a club in London, but wouldn't go on stage. Brits are pissed at Brit! [Perez Hilton]
• Britney's on the cover of Glamour, by the by. [Perez Hilton]
• Britney is the number one most-searched-for subject on Yahoo in the UK, bumping Barack Obama to 7th. [Guardian]

• Did you watch Britney's "documentary"? Produced by her manager? Here's the deal: A source says the piece was "a pre-emptive strike" — "Everyone agrees that (father and current financial manager) Jamie's been good for Britney, but there's always the possibility that his best efforts won't work when it comes to letting her have the career she wants, and that shouldn't be pinned on Britney," the source says. "She can't make any decisions. If she fails, she doesn't want it to look like it was her fault." [MSNBC]
• Guy Ritchie wants to buy a pub in NYC so he can spend more time with his kids? Does the Kabbalah in them drive him to drink? [Mirror]
• On the subject of Guy, they're saying his movie, Sherlock Holmes, is "cursed." Robert Downey Jr. was knocked out by an extra — he was out cold and drooling blood — plus, a gas tanked blew up and production was shut down for a few hours. The Mystery of the Ill-Fated Flick! [Perez Hilton]
• Alex Rodriguez had a double-trouble turkey day, visiting his soon-to-be ex-wife and kids for Thanksgiving and then "rushing" to be with Madonna later. [NY Daily News]
• As for Madonna, she's got a lot to be thankful for: Her Sticky & Sweet tour has grossed about $91.5 million in North America. When you add up Europe, she's earned about $207.5 million in ticket sales and could hit $282 million after touring Mexico and South America, making Sticky & Sweet the top-grossing tour ever by a female artist or solo artist. Music: Makes the people come together. [Reuters]
• Madonna has packed up all the presents Guy gave her, taken down pictures of him and erased their joint answering machine message. Moving on! [Mirror]
• And! Now Madonna and A-Rod are in Mexico. [NY Post]
• Travis Barker and DJ Am will perform together for the first time since surviving a fiery plane crash: They'll headline New Year's Nation's Los Angeles New Year's Eve Party at The Lot in West Hollywood, California, and it will be streamed on the Internet. [AP]
• Beyoncé in rehab? Well, she did visit a New York substance abuse charity when preparing for her role in Cadillac Records; she met six African-American women whose lives had been wrecked by heroin. They taught her the "junkie stagger" and "addled rage." Beyoncé says: "I never tried drugs in my life so I didn’t know about it all. It was hard to go to the rehab. I learned a lot about life and myself." [Daily Mail]
• Tina Fey, who never talks about her scar, is on the January cover of Vanity Fair, in which her husband explains that she was slashed when she was 5: "She was in, like, the front yard of her house, and somebody just came up, and she just thought somebody marked her with a pen." Fey doesn't talk about it because "It's impossible to talk about it without somehow seemingly exploiting it," she says. [NY Post]
• Elton John is going to team up with Mark Ronson! [Fox 411]
• Elton's partner David Furnish wears a lock of Elton's baby hair around his neck: "It’s a talisman that makes me feel protected, like I’ve got him with me all the time." [The Sun]
• Rosie Live is dead. [People]
• Hugh Jackman says his dad feels weird about his son being called "The Sexiest Man Alive." "(My dad) said to me, 'I can't really talk to you about being sexy. It's a little weird.' Mind you, I'm still waiting for the birds and the bees pitch from him. That hasn't happened either!" [Daily Express]
• Victoria Beckham is "bonding" with Gordon Ramsay's wife, Tana, amid allegations that Gordon had a "professional mistress." Apparently Posh has advice for Tana — remember when David Beckham was accused of having an affair with his assistant, Rebecca Loos? [Telegraph]
• The Beckhams and the Cruises went on horse-drawn carriage rides through central park! [Page Six]
• Nicole Kidman doesn't have Keith Urban on her iPod. [News.com.au]
• Milla Jovovich, 32, plans to marry for the third time. The groom is Brit director Paul WS Anderson; she previously married actor Shawn Andrews when she was 16 and director Luc Besson when she was 21. This time around, she will not get hitched in Vegas, so as not to "jinx" it. [Daily Express]
• Is Gwyneth Paltrow taking a break from her husband and staying with billionaire Jeff Soffer? [UPI]
• Will Smith on Tom Cruise: "I was so used to competition between other artists that I just didn't get him at first. And then Tom just broke it down to me and said, Will, we are not competing, so don't think that way. That blew my mind because that is not how this business works at all." [Newsweek]
• Tom Cruise has 16 motorcycles, a 1958 Corvette, five airplanes and a new movie, Valkyrie. He says: "You have to take chances, challenge yourself. You can't take movies because you think they're going to be huge hits." [USA Today]
• There's an anti-Scientology book which Amazon stopped selling — is Tom Cruise to blame? [Rush & Molloy]
• Courtney Love is on the cover of the January issue of UK Elle, in which she states: "Baby, if I could get a gastric band I would! I’ve heard it’s a lot of vomiting and a pain in the ass, but it’s still easier than a diet. I did go to see a Hollywood doctor about it. I wasn’t desperate, I just knew I had to do something. He said no. I might have been fat, but I wasn’t that fat. I tried lipo on my stomach after that. It was horrible and it didn’t work." [Daily Mail]
• James Franco says the love scene in Milk was Sean Penn's idea. [Page Six]
• Peaches Geldof and Max Drummey had a fight in a bar, with Max shouting "I'm bored of all this." [The Sun]
• Although… Max and Peaches' dad Bob Geldof "get on well." [Mirror]
• Oooh, fancy: Scout comes out! Scout LaRue Willis and her parents, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, attended the 18th Paris Haute Couture Bal des Debutants. [Telegraph]
• Andrew Lloyd Webber may be dragged into court over a £6.6million 19th century painting his foundation bought with £1 million of taxpayers' cash. [Telegraph]
• Got $9 million? Leonardo DiCaprio is selling his Malibu house. The bluff-top property is "paparazzi-proof." [People]
• Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr: Not engaged, despite what the Australian media is printing. [People]
• A reporter describes Benicio Del Toro as "the world's sexiest hobo." And Del Toro talks about Che Guevara: "I thought, 'Dammit, this guy is cool-looking!' I thought he looked like a cousin of mine… There was a book of letters he wrote to his family, a collection, and when I started reading that thing, it was like the first time I read Jack Kerouac, you know? It was like this guy, he's my age, in his 20s, and he's writing like a poet. He was writing these great letters - funny, articulate, sarcastic, socially concerned." [Guardian]
• Someone planted a tracking device on Simon Cowell's car. He's bugging out! [Mirror]
• Kate Winslet is nekkid in a flick called The Reader and art critic Charlie Finch thinks the movie trivializes the Holocaust: "What is especially repellent is the use of Kate Winslet's nubile body to create sympathy for a repellent character, whose triumph over illiteracy somehow mitigates unspeakable crimes which are never actually depicted on-screen." [Page Six]
• LOL at Geri Halliwell's dress! [The.Life Files]
• Terry and Harry Gilliam reflect on the problems of being, and having, a famous parent. [Times of London]
• Did you know Steve McQueen was a pilot? [LA Times]
• "I don't know how to be. I mean, I know how to be a lot of things, but I don't know how to be a movie star. I'm trying to learn over time." — Meryl Streep. [LA Times]
• "I never did feel that we were mean to her. We stuck to a lot of things that she herself had said, and I think there is a very strange double standard because it's a woman portraying another woman. The jokes we used to do about George W. Bush were that he was an idiot. The jokes were aggressive. No one would ever stop and say, 'Oh, that seems kind of mean.'" — Tina Fey on playing Sarah Palin, to Barbara Walters. [Page Six]
• "Some people just want to hear a lot of rap lyrics. I'm just trying to make the best music possible. I'll use the advantage of being a rapper to give an urban flavour to pop hits, which is an incredible combination. That chorus to 'Heartbreak' could be a Broadway chorus, it's so classic. In the night, I hear 'em talk, the coldest story ever told, somewhere far along this road he lost his soul, to a woman so heartless - the message is classic. The heartbreak. The Shakespearian tragedy. That's what this is - it's a modern-day tragedy. Devastation. Multiple losses in my life." — Kanye West. [Guardian]
• "I can’t believe I was a fat person for most of my life. I didn’t have surgery and I worked hard. There's no secret. I’m active. I watch what I eat. According to Hollywood standards, I'm not a thin girl. I’m a normal girl. I don’t want to perpetuate that obsession but yet I am also guilty of wanting ... to lose weight." — Ricki Lake. [People]
• "I've heard so many people say, so many times: 'You're this year's It Girl!' And I'm like, 'You said that to me in 2001 and 2004.'" — Zooey Deschanel in Complex. [Page Six]
• "I've shown my ass in other movies. That scene in particular felt a little weird. It's one thing if everybody is naked. It's another thing if everyone is in suits and you're the naked guy." — James Franco on being nude in Milk. [Newsweek]
• "Well, that's good. I'm sure there are red-headed websites that are claiming me, and people above a certain height. It's all fine. I'm friend not foe. One man's polyamory - is that the word? - is another man's being really, really good friends with the co-parent of one's children while we're both in other relationships. I don't think that's so strange. But maybe it is - and that would be really sad." — Tilda Swinton, on the news that she's named on polyamory websites, as an inspiring example for the multi-partner lifestyle. [Independent]
• "I think kids do best when they only have a couple of things that they really enjoy. I try and stay away from the gluttony of things. They don't appreciate it as much. When they only get one or two things they really like it." — Reese Witherspoon, who "sets limits" on what her kids get for Christmas. [People]
• "I was a brunette before I met Manson. She’s the last person I would want to be like." — Evan Rachel Wood, on the gossip that she's been copying Marilyn Manson's ex, Dita Von Teese. [Times of London]

• Ladies! Get your issue of Entertainment Weekly and hold on to it tightly. Daniel Craig looks mighty fine. [Just Jared]
• Daniel Craig showed up at the London premiere of Quantum of Solace with a black sling. He is still injured! (We've seen him in a sling before.) [Guardian]
• When Courtenay Semel — whose dad used to run Yahoo, who was once Lindsay Lohan's roommate and Tila Tequila's girlfriend — was arrested in Vegas in August, she allegedly said to the security guard who was trying to prevent her from entering a club: "Do you even know who I am, fucking idiot? Google me, you dumb fuck." Then she hit him in the face. [TMZ]
• Lily Allen's PR Machine calls her "the Wordsworth of the MySpace generation." Apparently, her new album, It's Not Me, It's You, contains the following couplet: "Now I lie here in the wet patch in the middle of the bed/I'm feeling pretty damn hard done by, I've spent ages giving head." HAHAHA. [Guardian]

• A gun thought to be the murder weapon in the Jennifer Hudson family tragedy has been found. [TMZ]
• William Balfour, the main suspect in the Hudson murders, has refused a polygraph test. [Yahoo News]
• There was a drug raid at the Hudson house in 2002: Jennifer's brother, Jason, allegedly sold crack to a registered informant. [TMZ]
• Nancy Grace spoke with the mother of William Balfour, the man who is being held in the triple murder of Jennifer Hudson's family. His mom says Jennifer Hudson's brother was selling drugs out of the house and her son was with a girlfriend at the time of the crime. [TMZ via CNN]
• Melissa Etheridge blogged about being gay and truing to adopt kids over at the Daily Beast. "I know my preference of lifemate freaks some people out," she writes. "Maybe it is just their fear of sex or intimacy. I know that they hold up the Bible and say that it's wrong… I will never forget the day earlier this year when the news came down the wire that the Supreme Court of California had declared same sex marriage legal," Etheridge recalls. "We told our children about it and all danced around the room in family glee." [Yahoo News, via E!]
• You guys, this country is going to get less beautiful if Obama doesn't get elected: Seal says he and Heidi Klum will leave the U.S. if McCain wins! Seal told this month's Vanity Fair: "If McCain is elected and America staggers on further towards the abyss, then we will leave the country. That is not a problem for us.” It's a problem for us, dude. [LA Times]
• Did you get invited to Heidi Klum's big Halloween bash? Neither did we. Seal, Debra Messing and Christian Siriano will be there. [Page Six]
• Yesterday, Matilda Ledger turned three. It was her first birthday without her dad. She celebrated at home with mom MIchelle Williams and a small group of family and friends. [News.com.au]
• Angelina Jolie was in Afghanistan last week, meeting with refugees who have returned to their post-Taliban homeland. She says: "After seeing real suffering, you never complain anymore." [People]
• Nicole Kidman keeps crying when she thinks of her baby daughter, Sunday Rose. But! "They are tears of joy." Hey, lady: You do have other kids, you know. [The Sun]
• David and Victoria Beckham: Superheroes? Stan Lee thinks so! "They're great looking, talented and colorful. Now, here's the exciting part, just imagine how cool they'd be in a humorous, good-natured show that depicts them as, you guessed it—superheroes," he says. Would they have capes? Skin-tight outfits? Would Posh be able to render you immobile with a mere glare? [Yahoo News via E!]
• This is hard to imagine, but Victoria Beckham has been training for the New York Marathon in secret. She may not run this weekend if she doesn't feel ready, but she's planning to do the one in L.A. in February. As if wearing all those heels did not punish her feet enough? [Perez Hilton]
• Denis Leary is sorry about his autism remarks, you guys. He says: "I apologize for any pain the out-of-context quotes from my book may have caused." [Daily Express]
• After Julianne Hough admitted that she had endometriosis, Lacey Schwimmer from Dancing With The Stars has announced that she, too has endometriosis. And that she never would have gotten it checked out if it wasn't for Julianne. [ET]
• The Keanu Reeves trial continues! His lawyer caused the paparazzo who filed suit to "buckle under questioning." Sorta wish it was televised. [AP]
• Madonna made an "emotional late-night call" to Guy Ritchie and "pleaded" with him to settle their divorce amicably. And by that she means having a mediation with Kabbalah rabbis instead of going to court. [Daily Mail]
• Here's a "rocky" interview in which Guy Ritchie discusses RocknRolla and, um, a Kabbalah documentary he's working on. Bet that's off! [News.com.au]
• Rosario Dawson wants to clear up the rumors that she is engaged. She's not. "Oh my God, I'd be getting calls from my grandmother being like, 'Mija! How come I had to read this first?'" Grandma's reading trashy gossip! [People]
• Jennifer Lopez is an evil genius: She keeps making crappy pilots, which TV networks don't pick up, but she still gets money for them, because they've signed a contract with her. It's twisted. [Jossip]
• Peaches Geldof made a wasted spectacle of herself at her husband's band's gig and there's "trouble in paradise." No one saw this coming. No one. [Mirror]
• Celine Dion has rescheduled a concert in Minneapolis/St. Paul due to "respiratory illness." Wasn't she just on Oprah? And what do you say to taking chances??? [Star-Tribune]
• Is Celine going to try and get knocked up again? [Daily Express]
• Natalie Cole says: "I feel sturdy and strong," despite undergoing dialysis three times a day week. AMAZING. [People]
• Derek Jeter will not admit that he is dating Minka Kelly, and when asked about A-Rod, replied: "Don't start with me about Kabbalah. I went to Catholic school." Dude, so did Madonna. [People]
• Bruce Springsteen is a party pooper! He's not having his elaborate Halloween decorations this year because his cool set-up attracts too many visitors. Boo. No, really. Boo. [AP]
• Bill Pullman's 19-year-old son was arrested in North Carolina for alleged underage drinking and possession of moonshine. No word on whether he was driving a car with doors welded shut called the General Lee. [UPI]
• Courteney Cox will be in a new ABC half-hour comedy called — uh — Cougar Town. Cox stars as a newly single 40-year-old mom. Lemme guess: She goes on dates, sometimes with younger dudes. [Variety]
• This young lady — Andrew Sachs' granddaughter — claims that Russell Brand was a "disappointment" in bed. [The Sun]
• After resigning from his radio show for saying he'd "fucked" Andrew Sachs' granddaughter, Russell Brand says "I hope to go to America now and make quite a lot of films." What kind of films, hmm? [The Sun]
• Now that the FBI has raided the home of hacker Josh Holly, who hacked Miley Cyrus' e-mail account, Miley is reportedly a "nervous wreck," worrying that more personal pictures and info will be made public, despite the government's involvement. [ONTD]
• Zac Efron talked about his hair with Ellen DeGeneres: "I actually modeled it [after] Ellen season 2," he said. "Smart," Ellen replied. "So you're copying me?" Zac confirmed, "I am in fact." [People]
• Nicolas Cage is selling his "haunted" New Orleans mansion, if you have $3.8 million. You could live near Brad and Angie! [Daily Express]
• Whoa. An apology from The Sun: "On 19 June 2007, we reported that David Hasselhoff had celebrated winning custody of his two daughters by getting drunk and making a nuisance of himself in a Hollywood bar. We now accept that David did not drink any alcohol that evening and nor did he irritate other customers. We apologise to David for any embarrassment caused." [The Sun]
• Janet Jackson tamed down part of her concert for Michigan, where state law prohibits simulated sex acts in a public space. Usually, she pulls a male fan from the crowd, ties him down and "molests" him while her dancers mime various sexual acts, including masturbation. *cough* [Yahoo News]
• Speaking of Jacksons, here are Michael and his kids. They are wearing masks, maybe because it's Halloween, maybe because it's Wednesday night. Who knows. [The Life Files]
• Hey! The Jackson 5 are reuniting! For a tour, which would include Michael and Janet! Let's pretend they're gonna look like this, okay? [NY Times]
• Paris Hilton has parted ways with Jason Moore, who has been her manager for more than 10 years. He was the one who walked away. [Daily Express]
• Josiah Leming, a homeless singer whose mother is dying of cancer, might be blocked from releasing the album he recorded because he was a contestant last season on American Idol. Shit, when you sign a reality show contract, you generally screw yourself, huh? [Page Six]
• Peter Andre is NOT leaving Katie "Jordan" Price, so you can all just relax and get a good night's sleep, okay? [The Sun]
• Ice T's wife Coco says of Halloween: "It's my day! I get to get naked! Finally!!!" Ahem. Pardon? Ice T explains: You know, a lot of people comment, but some chicks like to be wild. You come home and they're standing on the couch and they want to jump at you and tackle you. Coco's one of them girls." [NY Mag]
• Melissa Auf der Maur has an "elaborate new project" coming out: OOOM (Out of Our Minds), a "3-D concept album" that includes a CD, a half-hour film, a comic book and website. Oh! And she has a persona in the project: MAdM. Expect a "conceptual fantasy world, spawned from sound." [ONTD]
• E! has ordered a second season of Denise Richards: It's Complicated. Oh, it's simple: Vom. [AP]
• Corey Haim: Getting married. Think Feldman will attend? [ONTD]
• Beatles songs on the Rock Band video game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [WSJ]
• The Phil Spector retrial has begun; yesterday the prosector told jurors Spector murdered actress Lana Clarkson in a "petulant fit of rage." [Yahoo News]
• Kato Kaelin might be back, on a reality show called 16th Minute. Bascially, it would feature "stars" whose 15 minutes of fame are up — and give them one extra minute. Do you weep for humanity? [mediabistro]
• "I hadn't eaten all day, and I was starving. They were coming around with this bowl of brownies, and I grabbed three of them and just started scarfing them down. After that, every lyric sounded like it was the Cookie Monster yelling in my ear, and I started feeling really shitty, but I had to play through the set. I couldn't just go up to Puffy and say, 'Sorry, I ate a shit-load of hash brownies, I can't do your White Party.'" — Mark Ronson, on the refreshments at Diddy's soirée. [Page Six]
• "If I get married again, then it will be the last time." — Jessica Simpson. [Page Six]
• "My mom's like 'Honey, don't get married.' It comes from a good place, but I'm such a romantic, I'd like to get married one day. It's fulfilling to live with a person you love." — Alexa Ray Joel, whose Mother, Christie Brinkley, went through a nasty divorce with Peter Cook. [Daily Express]
• "I spent most of the year I was 27 toxic, just completely over-medicated. I was stoked to make it past 27. Everyone was really worried. My management company were panicked, because I was out of the office, and 'pharmaceutically engaged.'" — Pete Wentz. [Daily Express]
• "I got into an argument with him. I don’t believe him as much as he believes him. He said something along the lines of, 'I only shag really stupid women.' And I said, 'I guess they would have to be.' I don’t get him at all." — Pink on John Mayer. [The Sun]
• "I can't stand Sarah Palin. I bet a woman like that has no sense of humor." — Grace Jones. [Yahoo News]

[Los Angeles, October 13. Image via INF]

[London, September 28. Image via Flynet]

[London, September 24. Image via Splash.]

• "If I were writing a letter to Sarah Palin it would be a lot of whys and hows. Who are you? Do you know? Why do you hate animals? Please point out Iraq on a map… This woman hates women. She is not a feminist. She is not the woman that's going to come behind Hillary Clinton and do anything that Hillary Clinton would've been capable of … I can't imagine overturning Roe vs. Wade. She's not of this time. The woman terrifies me." — Pink. [Perez Hilton]
• Lindsay Lohan on Sarah Palin: "Is our country so divided that the Republicans best hope is a narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe? Oh, and...Hint Hint Pali Pal- Don't pose for anymore tabloid covers, you're not a celebrity, you're running for office to represent our, your, my COUNTRY!" [TMZ]
• Lindsay and Samantha Ronson: Seen in an "intense liplock" for "at least half an hour" at NYC's trendy Beatrice Inn. [Page Six]
• Lindsay punched a paparazzo because she thought he tripped her, but actually, she tripped on a metal barricade. Whoops. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Lopez completed her first-ever triathlon on Sunday in Malibu and raised $127,000 for the Children's Hospital of L.A. in the process. A very quick "recovery" from the "foot injury" she had that prevented her from judging the Project Runway fashion show on Friday. Could it be that she wanted a part in a Harvey Weinstein film, and found out she wasn't getting it, so pulled out? [MSNBC]

• Has being Woody Allen's muse turned Scarlett Johansson into a bitch? [Page Six]
• Liz Taylor went to her favorite gay bar on Thursday night! She was out at The Abbey in West Hollywood. Says a witness: "She was lively. She was laughing and she was smiling." Apparently she "held court" in a back corner, holding a martini while a friend held her Maltese, Daisy. [People]
• Five Leaves, the Brooklyn bar owned in part by Heath Ledger's estate, has opened. The decor is '20s-era industrial steel. Mary-Kate Olsen and Michelle Williams maybe attended the unofficial opening. [Gothamist]
• Frances Bean Cobain's 16th birthday party was a "suicidal 16" bash in which guests were awarded prizes if they dressed the "most dead." Girl, where is your mother? Oh yeah. [E!]
• Producer Swizz Beatz is getting divorced and Alicia Keys could be "the other woman." [Rush & Molloy]
• Carla Bruni's ex, Jean-Paul Enthoven (she left him for his son, with whom she had a kid before marrying President Nicolas Sarkozy) is getting "revenge" with a novel. The main character is a cold, wealthy, shopping-obsessed woman. [Times of London]
• Amy Winehouse didn't show up to her own birthday party. She missed a guitar-shaped birthday cake! [The Sun, Mirror]
• Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have made a $2 million donation to create a health center for AIDS and tuberculosis affected children in Ethiopia. The center will be named after daughter Zahara. [E!]
• Guinness World Records says that Brad and Angelina are the world's Most Powerful Actor and Actress. But we all know Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Knox and Vivienne are actually in control. [UPI]
• Daniel Dae Kim of Lost pleaded no contest to drunk driving charges (from Oct. 25) and paid a $500 fine. [Breitbart]
• The Promises Foundation received an autographed oil painting of Britney Spears from Britney Spears, which they're going to sell on eBay with a starting bid of $10,000. Good luck with that! [UPI]
• See the painting here. She's not wearing a top. [TMZ]
• Is manager Larry Rudolph to thank for Britney's epic turn around? [Daily Mail]
• Brit threw her boys a truck-themed birthday party on Saturday. Jamie Lynn brought daughter Maddie. The kids drove around in toy cars with personalized license plates. There were no DUIs. That we know of. [Yahoo News]
• Naomi Campbell is in love, and after having surgery on her ladyparts, thinks she would like to have a baby. [Daily Mail]
• George Takei and Brad Altman were married Sunday in a multicultural ceremony at the Japanese American National Museum that featured a Buddhist priest, Native American wedding bands, a Japanese Koto harp and a bagpipe procession. [Yahoo News]
• "I did not set out to make a controversial film or a social commentary. If Dakota Fanning is so shamed for telling that story, what message does that give victims? I did not set out to make a statement, but in the 12-year process of trying to get this film made I have been unable to avoid facing the politics of being a woman filmmaker and telling women stories…" — Deborah Kampmeier, director of Hounddog, the film often called the "Dakota Fanning rape movie." [NY Times]
• Maryline Blackburn, who won the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant — when Sarah Palin came in second — is now a singer living in Atlanta. Blackburn, who is African-American, says, "Sarah was kinda in my top five. You're kind of looking at all the girls and when I first saw her I thought, 'Oh my goodness, she's absolutely beautiful.' She's a gorgeous woman." But! On November 4? "It's all about Obama, Obama," Blackburn says. [WSBTV]
• Jennifer Hudson: Engaged to boyfriend David Otunga. [People]
• Peaches Geldof and husband Max Drummey now have matching tattoos. [Mirror]
• Spike Lee is ending his feud with Clint Eastwood and maybe starting one with Judd Apapoe [sic]. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Kylie Minogue will perform on the artificial Palm Island in Dubai at the opening ceremony of a 5-star hotel… Ending speculation that Madonna was gonna do the gig. [Mirror]
• John Mayer did a striptease for Heidi Klum. Yeah. [Rush & Molloy]
• Check out Beyoncé playing a hot cop in her new video. [Concrete Loop]
• Damon Dash indeed has sole custody of his son, Damon Jr. His ex girlfriend enrolled the 16-year-old in school in Long Island when he went to visit her, but a judge was like: No. [UPI]
• The only Sienna Miller fansite online might be shutting down! Says the webmistress: "I cannot get past the fact that to me she has completely changed from the Sienna I became a fan of back in 2004." [ONTD]
• This picture shows Sienna walking while Balthazar Getty drives alongside her, in an effort not to be photographed together. [The Sun]
• Contrary to earlier reports, Holly Madison did not dump Hef for Criss Angel! [E!]
• While accepting her award at the Creative Arts Emmys for the video "I'm Fucking Matt Damon," Sarah Silverman said: "Thanks to the person for whom this whole video was made: Jimmy Kimmel, who broke my heart – ohh, who'll always have a place in my heart." [People]
• Matt Damon and Wyclef Jean distributed rice, beans and oil to residents of Haiti, where hundreds of people are homeless and hungry after four devastating hurricanes have hit since mid-August. [Yahoo News]
• Shannen Doherty has shot four episodes of the new 90210, which is all she signed up for. Will she do more? Does the CW want her to? [Yahoo News]
• Shenae Grimes has been "tormenting everyone on set" of the new 90210. [Page Six]
• Mark Ronson and Daisy Lowe: Splitsville. [Mirror]
• A bunch of teachers spill about what stars Amy Winehouse, Jude Law, Simon Cowell and Lily Allen were like as kids. Guess who was an arrogant, "polished character" and popular with the girls? [Guardian]
• Short on cash, Pete Doherty paid for a taxi with paintings he'd done. [The Sun]
• Queen Latifah was going to call her new album The L Word "just for fun" to mess with people who think she is gay. (But, um, isn't she?) [Daily Express]
• Cyndi Lauper to mentor contestants on Australian Idol! [News.com.au]
• Sir Paul McCartney will be guarded by armed secret agents during his gig in Israel — he's apparently the "enemy of Muslims." [The Sun]
• Richard Gere and Debra Winger: Acting together again for the first time since An Officer and a Gentleman? [Fox 411]
• David Beckham: Booed, after his soccer football team lost. [Independent]
• Steve Irwin's 4-year-old son wants his own TV show. [Independent]
• "There is such a great lesson to learn in having your children in the kitchen with you. Children can smell the smells and watch all that goes into the preparation of the food. It’s a five-sense experience for them." — Rachael Ray. [NY Times]
• "I feel there must be an enormous amount of really talented songwriters out there who can't sing. So, please, send me your songs." — Roger Daltrey of The Who. [Daily Express]

[New York, August 27. Image via Splash.]

• I think we can all agree that there's a real dearth of trashy fashion lines by C-List stars. Thank god Tara Reid is filling the void with "Mantra." The new collection "includes t-shirts, dresses, bikinis, ponchos and hoodies decorated with beads and charms." [Perez Hilton]
• Which is good, because fellow I-don't-even-know-what-letter-Lister Kelly Osborne's reality show, Project Catwalk, was just dropped in the UK. [The Star]
• Janice on Tyra: "Nor did I ever get a note or call thanking me for helping to put her show on the map. Whatever. She’s not my favorite person." [NY Mag]
• Presses, stopped: "Barack Obama has a 33-inch waist, and his jacket is a 40 long." This info comes from his tailor! [Racked]

• This is how we want our birthdays celebrated from now on: "Rumor has it (Sonia) Rykiel’s daughter, Nathalie, has asked a host of international designers, including Karl Lagerfeld, Donna Karan and Jean Paul Gaultier, to design an outfit in the spirit of Rykiel to pay homage to the sweater queen as part of her jubilee." [WWD]
• Not surprisingly, French Vogue editrice Carine Roitfeld's Paris pad is huge, chic, less than cozy. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Just in time for alleged "Twilight vampire mania," black lipgloss is everywhere but on our mouths! [LAT]
• Both American Eagle and Chico's had better-than-expected profits, even though they had to slash prices/launch a "Debbie Phelps line" to do it. [NYT]
• Thanks to Nuclear Wintour, tennis has had the fashion seal of approval for a while now. No wonder Lacoste and Ralph Lauren can't keep tennis couture on the shelves! [WWD]
• Those of us getting nostalgic for the days when Madonna was awesome can check out icons of her sartorial career at a London exhibition next year. "Highlights of the 300-item show will include her iconic pink Material Girl dress, which she wore in the video to her 1985 hit, and the gown she wore playing Argentinian heroine Evita in the 1996 movie." [The Telegraph]
• Kate Moss talks dirty — or at least talks about talking dirty — in Interview, despite our specific injunctions to avoid speaking. Also does nude pictorial. (NSFW although it's "artistic.") [The Sun]
• And wanna see her in a Turkish bath? Knock yourselves out. [Fashionista]
• "Telephoning from his 152-foot navy-hulled yacht moored off the island of Capri,' Valentino acts exactly as one would wish an iconic Italian designer to. [BlackBook]
• Victoria's Secret model Doutzen Kroes: '"I always went over the top when I liked the guys! I would send flowers and love notes," the lovely blonde dished. "I'm sure they're laughing now, because they're like 'Oh, shoot!' But this was when I was 13. Men now send me flowers, and I like it that way,"' Oh, shut it. [Radar]
• Former model Carol Alt's novel: "I wanted to teach in an entertaining kind of way. I have a wealth of knowledge about the modeling industry and how to create a career, not just survive the season. I wanted to be able to teach the girls coming in to the business what it's all about and what to expect. Nobody tells them and they're shocked," [CBS News]
• "I Kissed A Girl" singer Katy Perry, and Betsey Johnson, who kissed Anna Nicole, love each other. [BlackBook]
• Lifetime piggybacks on its Runway coup with Blush: The Search for America's Greatest Makeup Artist. Two words, Lifetime: Top Design. [Variety]
• Olympic golden girls Nastia Liukin, Shawn Johnson, and Alicia Sacramone "will be the new faces of CoverGirl." Aren't they kinda young? [Chic and Untroubled via NY Mag]
• Elton John auctions deco brooch; apparently will fetch a lot of money. [The Star]
• J Crew's down; they're blaming "system upgrades" but I'm blaming "high prices." [WSJ]
• Mark Ronson's spinning at fashion week. I feel manipulated; why do I love them all of a sudden? [Fashion Week Daily]
• We're normally wary of fashion types co-opting lit cause they think it sounds cool or whatever, but the invites to Abigail Lorick (who does all the ghost designing for Gossip Girl's "fashion shows" nb) sounds genuinely rad: "it’s a battered copy of Virginia Woolf’s masterpiece “A Room of One’s Own,” all wrapped up in a silk scarf bow." [Style.com]
• London's Jewish Museum of Art launches an exhibit on "Schmatte Counture" that seems to have very little to do with either rags or fashion. [Telegraph]
• Free YSL bags! Well, sort of. "The limited edition cotton totes, designed by Stefano Pilati, are the latest wrinkle in the French house's ongoing "Manifesto" program, in which newspaper-style catalogues are handed out to women on the streets of key fashion cities. More than half a million copies of the catalogue will be distributed in Paris, New York, London, Milan, Tokyo and Hong Kong, with 5,000 in each city tucked into the black or white totes." [WWD]
• They're also hawking a $50-something bracelet. "For their latest fragrance and lip gloss (as seen on the cast of Gossip Girl, as well as model Coco Rocha), YSL did something major: They put both beauty items into tiny gold charms, attached them to a YSL bracelet, and sent them straight to Sephora." [Nylon]

• Snoop Dogg takes cross-marketing to a whole new level: He's promoting his clothing line, Rich and Infamous, via his reality TV series Snoop Dogg's Father Hood, on his concert tour, through placement in movies and videos, on iTunes, through a Web series, and, natch, on the packaging of his new CD. [Variety]
• It's easy to believe Kate Moss is a crappy neighbor, but it does seem like this would be the least of the problems: "Neighbors at her Oxfordshire summer home have complained to the local planning authority about Moss’ two 15 feet teepees erected in her backyard. Their complaints are that the tents are an eye sore on the 17th Centrury home... and also obscure the view of the Cotswold hills." [Sassybella]
• Albert Hammond, Jr. is going into menswear. The Strokes guitarist, solo artist and Agyness Deyn fiance explains: “A lot of people hate suits, because when they fit terribly, they feel strange inside, like they’re going to a bar mitzvah and they’re 30,” [NY]
• Rememeber those Russian faux-lesbian school girl sorta-pop singers who were big for like two seconds five years ago, t.A.T.u ? Yeah. For some reason Marc Jacobs is featuring them in an ad. [Perez Hilton]

• Screw the conventions: it's official. Obama and McCain are now paper dolls. They've been drawn by renowned artist Tom Tierney, "who casts the candidates and their spouses as ready-to-dress paper people, each with about half a dozen wardrobe changes (oddly, Barack Obama's daughters Malia and Natasha are included — each with a single cold-weather outfit — but John McCain's brood of seven is absent)." And yes, they're in undies. [LAT]
• New Rachel Zoe line will, apparently, contain everything plus kitchen sink: "We're doing accessories, clothes, everything — we're going across the board. I always have a lot I want to say, and I think there's a gap in certain areas [of the fashion market]. I'm thinking it will launch sometime in 2009. It will be very accessible. I want people to have access to fashion fantasy all the time. I also want the person who's spending $500 on a purse to want to buy it. It will be a mix of lower-tier and midrange prices — maybe with some limited-edition items." [LAT]
• "Nike Sportswear" opens its first boutique. [WWD]
• Heidi Klum has designed a butterfly/tennis ball tee shirt that we wouldn't wear if our lives depended on it. [Sassybella]
• Why do celebs think hawking T-shirts is the answer to all the world's problems? Elettra Wiedemann. Isabella Rossellini's moddle daughter, "is more than just a pretty face - she's trying to save the world one T-shirt at a time. The Italian stunner is working with the Solar Electric Life Fund to equip a failing hospital in Kigutu, Burundi, with solar power. To raise $450,000, Wiedemann enlisted the help of fashion-industry friends to design limited-edition, Africa-inspired T-shirts to be sold via JOFD.org." [Page Six]
• New J. Crew accessories catalogue is ridiculously high-end. And no mittens! [WWD]
• You can thank this woman for Rachel Zoe: "Founder of the Margaret Maldonado Agency, one of a dozen or so offices that place stylists with high-profile clients, she's the image maker behind the image makers." [LAT]
• Honeymoon's over: more fast fashion condemnation. [Guardian]
• "Brazilian design and designers are spearheading a new look that is increasingly taking over in Europe and the US." The nature of "the look" is vague. [Independent]
• Is Madonna going to pioneer a "hosiery trend?" We're gonna go with "Winter" on that one. [The Sun]
• Rumor has it that American Apparel is extending its evil, vertically-integrated empire to shoes. [Fashionista]
• Tyra claims she was Kimora's modeling mentor: "She didn't have rhythm … I'd teach her how to roll her hips sexy," says the modeling mogul. [NY Mag]
• Horseshoe boots, anyone? The top five strangest Japanese fashion trends. Just look at it, okay? [Inventor Spot]

• Nicole Richie's 2005 novel, The Truth About Diamonds, is being made into a TV series! And Nicole is gonna be on the program. "I would definitely produce and definitely be in the show," Nicole says. She adds: "I don't know if I need to be the star of this show." Haha, so humble. She was pretty funny on The Simple Life, to be honest. Not that we watched… [E!, Yahoo News]
• Jessica Alba's baby, Honor Warren, is the latest celebrity infant to land a cover deal with OK! magazine. Jess and hubby Cash raked in $1.5 million for pictures of the baby now — and one other "event" like Christmas, Thanksgiving or a vacation. Hopefully the dough is going into a college fund or something and not being spent on shoes. [TMZ]
• Looks like Alicia Keys will sing the theme for the new Bond film. Guess Amy Winehouse never finished her track, despite having Mark Ronson helping her. [E!]
• Amy Winehouse participated in a DJ battle at a pub near her house in North London… And lost. [Reuters]
• At the DJ battle, Amy Winehouse was seen with a "white substance" up her nose. [The Sun]

• Details are being leaked to drum up publicity for the book Madonna's brother wrote, but probably nothing will shock you: Warren Beatty was so suspicious of Madge that he went through her trash; when deciding to get pregnant, Madonna considered Dennis Rodman and Melrose Place's John Enos before settling on Carlos Leon, whom she met in central park, even though she wasn't sure he fulfilled the intelligence requirement. Intriguing, but enough to buy the book? (And what kind of brother sells out his effing sister this way?) [Page Six]
• Britney Spears shot her video segment that will play on a backdrop on Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour. Apparently you see a person wearing a black hoodie who gets stuck on an elevator. When this person realizes she's trapped and can't get out, she starts to kick the walls and hit things. She screams into the camera. Then she takes off the hood, revealing long blonde locks, looks into the camera and says, "It's Britney, bitch." El oh el. [ET]
• Is Cynthia Rodriguez going to release "copies" of the text messages husband Alex sent to Madonna? (How do you have copies of text messages?) [The Sun]
• Roger Friedman says Cynthia "risked her life for A-Rod" by flying in her ninth month of pregnancy to be y his side back in April. [Fox News]
• A source says new mama Jamie Lynn Spears "only has Diet Coke in the house. How redneck is that?" Also! She will marry baby daddy Casey Aldridge on the twelfth of never, because her mom doesn't like him and doesn't want him near JLS's money. [Page Six]
• That story about David Lee Roth almost dying from his nut allergy turns out to be totally not true. He's still sorta nuts, though. [TMZ]
• John Stamos performed with the Beach Boys and there are cute pictures of Uncle Jesse rockin' out. [ONTD]
• Kirsten Dunst and Megan Fox are in How To Lose Friends And Alienate People, and some think Megan's going to upstage Kirsten. Anyway, click here for big pix. [ONTD]
• Ashley Olsen and boyfriend Justin Bartha are in love and vacationing in Greece and you're not. [MSNBC]
• Sources say Russell Simmons was "very controlling" with ex-girlfriend Porschia Coleman and that she was not getting along with his kids. But! Coleman claims, "Russell is my best friend. It was a mutual decision [to break up]. We just decided to be friends, and we're both very happy." [Rush & Molloy]
• Carla Bruni is "hurt" by critics of her new album. But she has a fairly good attitude: "Some might say people are only listening to me because of my husband. But they are still listening. I am incredibly lucky to have people listening to me, whatever the reason." [Yahoo News]
• Mark your calendars for October 2009: The Jackie Chan museum opens in Shanghai. [Yahoo News]
• Pamela Anderson may be unemployed, but she's got kids to feed! Maybe that's why she charges $150,000 for a one hour meet and greet (which includes first class travel and hotel). And she got around $250,000 to appear for two days on Australia's Big Brother. [Mirror]
• Two-time Oscar nominee Judy Davis has won a defamation suit against the publisher of The Daily Telegraph newspaper, which printed a series of articles implying she was selfish and unreasonable in her opposition to the erection of floodlights at a park near her Sydney waterfront home. [News.com.au]
• Sex And The City 2: It could happen. Sigh. [NY Times]
• More Heath Ledger Oscar buzz. [Reuters]
• Kate Hudson's men Chris Robinson and Lance Armstrong: Getting along, the way an ex-husband and new boyfriend rarely do! Chris and Lance took the kids to tennis camp and stood together, watching the kids "like good buddies." When Kate's son Ryder hit a forehand, "they both cheered." [ONTD]
• What's this? Lyle Lovett has "never made a dime" from album sales during his 20 year career. The record industry is weird. [Reuters]
• Perfect your deadpan: Curb Your Enthusiasm will be back for a seventh season! [Reuters]
• Whee! Margaret Cho was deputized by the city of San Francisco to perform gay marriages there! "I'm very happy to preside over all the ceremonies that I can," she says. And what does she wear when officiating? "I'm all about the suits—supersnug ones. And then, you know, little pearl earrings for a little bit of class." [E!]
• "It really is the gift that keeps on giving. It's been a surprise to live in a character this long and still be enjoying it. It was something I was never looking for and it was something I never expected. That's why I think of it as a gift because I didn't know it was coming. The fact I get consistently nominated for stuff is fun and a real honor for me. That feels really good to go up there with people who are considered the very best at what they do and that feels really good and supportive for work that I would love to do and would do anyway." — Kyra Sedgwick on The Closer. [Reuters]
• Angelina Jolie is "fed up" with being on bed rest and can't wait for the twins to be born. We can't wait either! [Daily Mail]
• "My advice to [Angelina Jolie] is to put some weight on. I think she needs to keep putting on weight so she can feed those babies. I don’t think she should think twice. She hasn’t put on enough weight." — Jane Seymour. If you read Midweek Madness, you know that Angie's been watching Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman while in the hospital. [MSNBC]

The Accused: I Don't Like You In That Way
The Crime : ageism; reducing a woman to her overly-sexualized body parts.
The Evidence: "If you have just eaten or you if you don't have enough free time on your calendar to projectile vomit for the next two weeks, be warned, you might want to skip this nip slip and upskirt look into hell brought to you by Shauna Sand. She used to be married to Lorenzo Lamas and was Playboy's Playmate of the Month for May 1996, but as you can see, a lot can happen in 12 years. Namely, turning Shauna Sand into a dayshift stripper with a pussy that looks like a badly packed suitcase. And please, I can't even talk about her tits. Maybe later. I've been sitting here for about 10 minutes now waiting for them to finish transforming into whatever they're in the middle of changing into. I'm hoping it's a hot rod or a rocket ship. You know, or something cool like that." You know, demeaning her sexual organs just makes you sound like an ignorant fool.
The Punishment: A large dose of ipecac, so that "projectile vomit" IDLYITW is predicting can happen right on schedule!

The Accused: Egotastic
The Crime: Ickily sexualizing breast-feeding
The Evidence: That's great, miracle of life and all that, but what I really want to know is when Jessica Alba is going to look like she does in these bikini pictures here? I have a sinking feeling the answer may be never. On the flip side, can you imagine how lucky that kid is, getting to be that close to Jessica Alba's breasts everyday? You know Cash Warren is getting anywhere near them for a long time." It is not Jessica Alba's raison d'etre to look hot in a bikini.
The Punishment: Six months on Honor Alba Warren diaper duty.

The Accused : Yeeeah
The Crime:: comparing a woman's vagina to toxic waste
The Evidence:"Of course she’s not pregnant. No sperm could survive in that kind of hostile environment more than ten minutes. Fifteen, tops. I’d be willing to bet that if you looked inside her vagina a half hour after intercourse, there’d just be a lot of bubbling and hissing sounds, like you were frying bacon in hydrochloric acid. And you might see occasional shriveled and disfigured spermatozoa emerge from the mist, rattling chains and moaning like some kind of a seminal Jacob Marley on Christmas Eve, and right in front of the cervix would be a hand-lettered sign that read “The End Is Near — John 3:16.” You’d be better off spilling your seed in a ten-gallon drum of radioactive waste than dropping a load in Paris Hilton. At least your baby has a chance of turning out to be a superhero that way." God, can't these jerks even be original? Last week WWTDD made similarly derisive comments about Paris's possible pregnancy. And again: we're not thrilled about the idea of Paris procreating either, but comparing sex with her to "frying bacon in hydrochloric acid" is just tasteless.
The Punishment: 5 weeks working at a fertility clinic with reproductively challenged women.

The Accused: Perez Hilton
The Crime: demeaning a woman's looks because she is not traditionally "feminine."
The Evidence: "Now, saMAN's own, brother, producer Mark Ronson, is also confirming that they are lesbian lovers. He says: 'My sister and Lindsay [Lohan] make a cute couple, don’t they?' Hmmm. Not so much! Cute is definitely not a word we would use to describe saMAN!" We're not the first to point this out, but isn't it completely hypocritical for Perez, as a vocal gay rights supporter, to bash a woman for not conforming to societal norms? Boooerns, Perez, boooerns.
The Punishment: indentured servitude to Dina Lohan.

Want to report a Crime Against Womanity? Send the link to tips@jezebel.com with "Missdemeanors" in the subject line.

• Medic! Daniel Craig sliced his fingertip off while filming the new James Bond movie. Last week he cut his face and needed eight stitches. The man suffers for his art, you guys. [Mirror]
• Did a psychic help Angelina and Brad design a nursery for the twins??? Apparently someone was hired to determine the "vibe" of the unborn bébés. If you believe this crap. [MSNBC]
• One benefit for Angelina Jolie giving birth in France? "Medieval" paparazzi laws. [NY Post]
• R. Kelly told the judge in his child pornography trial that he does not plan to testify. The proceedings are winding down! [Miami Herald]
• Even though Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon didn't have a big celebration, you can totally buy them a wedding present! They're registered at Bergdorf Goodman. [Page Six]
• Lily Allen, Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan had dinner together! Sam's brother produced Lily's album, remember. [Mirror]
• "My sister and Lindsay make a cute couple, don’t they?" — Mark Ronson. [DListed]

• Even though George Clooney and Sarah Larson have split up, he is still letting her friends use his Lake Como villa for their honeymoon, as he promised while he and Sarah were together. Because he is one classy mothertrucker. [E!]
• Two words: Smurfs movie. [UPI]
• Tricia Walsh-Smith, the woman who ranted about her husband via YouTube, has more issues: The lady who filmed her is releasing a "director's cut." [Page Six]
• Chris Martin writes Coldplay songs under the influence of sleeping pills? That explains a lot. [Page Six]
• Minnie Driver's pregnancy landed her a role in Uma Thurman's movie, Motherhood. We still don't know who the father is, though! [Page Six]
• Farrah Fawcett's battle with cancer is a cash cow, and she is milking it. [Page Six]
• Plus-size model Mia Tyler had suicidal thoughts and very nearly killed herself, poor thing. [Page Six]
• Those Oscar de la Hoya fishnet pictures? Fake. Fakety fake fake. Funny, though. [TMZ]
• Shia LaBeouf is "embarrassed" by that YouTube video in which he goads his friend to slap him by calling the guy a faggot. His rep says: "He regrets having used the word in any capacity and is very embarrassed that this footage is being seen by anyone." [E!]
• Brooke Hogan is "freaked out" that her mom is dating a 19-year-old. And Brooke actually knows her mom's new guy, Charley Hill. "I went to school with him," Brooke says. "He was a grade under me..." [E!]
• Iron Man sequel? Director Jon Favreau says neither he nor Robert Downey Jr. have been approached. [E!]
• One of the stars of Meerkat Manor was killed in a hit and run while crossing a road in the Kalahari Desert. Tragic! [ONTD]
• Little Richard will perform at a wedding on The Young And The Restless! Repeat: Little Richard will be on Young And The Restless. Actually, he was on One Life To Live in 1995, so it's not that weird. But still kinda weird. [ONTD]
• P. Diddy's $426,000 Maybach was hit by a drunk driver in New York's meatpacking district. [ONTD]
• There may be a Gossip Girl spinoff set at a boarding school. If you read the books, you know that there was a boarding school spinoff called The It Girl. And if you know GG producer Josh Schwartz, you may recall he wanted to spinoff a boarding school drama from The OC like 2 years ago. [Reuters, Digital Spy]
• Amy Winehouse's money was used to bankroll the plot Blake Incarcerated cooked up, which involved bribing a guy he'd beat up to retract his story and leave the country. [Mirror]
• The book seen in the SATC movie, Love Letters Of Great Men, does not exist. But the closest thing, Love Letters of Great Men and Women: From the Eighteenth Century to the Present Day, is now 134 on Amazon, thanks to Carrie wannabes. [CBS News]
• Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are battling over vaccinations, but it is hard to care because I'm over both of them. [TMZ]
• The release date has been set for Terrence "Baby Wipes" Howard's new album. Mark your calendars: September 2! [UPI]
• Celebrity Rehab season two: Grease and Taxi star Jeff Conaway, son-of-Rod Sean Stewart, Rodney King, American idol contestant Nikki McKibbon, Tawny Kitaen and, um, Gary Busey. [UPI]
• The Harry Potter prequel: 800 words, hand-written, sold for $49,000 at a charity auction yesterday. [Reuters]
• A dude who claims he was tricked into putting his penis in a mousetrap by Adam Carolla, Jimmy Kimmel and Johnny Knoxville has dropped his lawsuit. Seriously? You can't blame other people for your stupid decisions. [E!]
• "I'm the most ill-prepared parent on the planet." — Marissa Jaret Winokur, who is due in six weeks. [People]
• "I'd like to be with someone who is secure with themselves. She has to understand that I have a lot going on and I'm busy." — Mario Lopez. [People]
• LOL @ Mario Lopez riding in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. [E!]
• "When you get married, you're forced to drink the milk long after it's spoiled." — Kimora Lee Simmons. [People]
• "I'm very happy, and in a great place being a married man." — Usher. [People]

• Mischa Barton claims she is a PhotoShop Of Horrors victim: A new batch of paparazzi beach shots showed her legs riddled with cellulite. "Those photos are doctored," Barton's rep, Lisa Perkins, says. "I'm not saying she's perfect, nobody is. But they've given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old." The pix were taken by the dude she's pissed at for snapping topless shots; the same one who ran Nicole Kidman off of the road. [Rush & Molloy]
  
• You can see the pictures here, with a regular paparazzi shot as well. Photoshop? [Daily Mail]
  
• Apparently Mariah Carey wanted a $3 million wedding with doves and orchids and Nick Cannon wanted to get married ASAP with no fuss. Mariah agreed because, as she has said, "We really do feel we are soulmates. I never felt a love like this was in the cards for me." Aww, that should be sweet but somehow it's fucking annoying. [Mirror]
  
• Lindsay Lohan: Seen doing shots of tequila with Lauren Conrad! LL turned her back so no one would see; unfortunately she was facing a window and the whole bar could see her reflection. Whoops! [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Meanwhile: You know how Lindsay had finally gotten a movie role? In that Manson Girls flick? Well she's been kicked off of the project. Producers "discovered that they couldn't find any name actresses who wanted to co-star with her," says Nikki Finke. [Deadline Hollywood via ONTD]

• It looks like officials in Malawi are all set to grant full adoption rights to Madonna. A document says: "Mr and Mrs Ritchie have shown a strong commitment in providing the infant with all essential needs like love, safe home environment, care, protection, material as well as emotional support." [Yahoo News]
• Jessica Simpson will be little sister Ashlee's maid of honor. At Ashlee's yet-to-be-scheduled wedding. [People]
• Jeremy Piven and Pink: Seen "all over each other" and "dancing really close." [Page Six]
• Alec Baldwin may want to switch careers. "In a matter of weeks, I'm going to be 50," he says. As long as he doesn't leave 30 Rock! [Page Six]
• Even though Tom Cruise told Oprah that he regrets his infamous argument on the Today show, Matt Lauer, Lauer says, "I don't think he needs to apologize. I don't feel there are any hard feelings. It was an interview. It was a good moment on television." Oh Matt. You're glib, Matt. Glib. [People]
• Jessica Alba challenges you to a staring contest. [People]
• Katie Holmes "has got the itch" to have another baby. Praise Xenu! [E!]
• Poor Uma Thurman may be in court again! Lancôme is suing Uma as a preemptive strike: Her contract as the face of the cosmetics company expired in 2005; yet her picture was seen in ads on Asian websites and on a Canadian billboard recently. [E!]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt get their locks lightened by the same colorist. News you can use. [E!]
• Josh Brolin as George W. Bush. [E!]
• Daisy Lowe, 19, is loving hanging out with new boyfriend Mark Ronson, 32. Sigh. [Daily Mail via ONTD]
• Um, Chloe Lattanzi, daughter of Olivia Newton-John and contestant on Rock The Cradle, seems to have had quite a bit of collagen injected into her lips. And maybe a nose job. [ONTD]
• When Simon Cowell was a teenager, he hated school so much he was practically suicidal. He says, "I was so bored. I didn't like rules or discipline. So when someone said, 'These are the best days of your life' I actually thought about jumping off a bridge." [Mirror]
• Foxy Brown pleaded guilty to "menacing" a woman with her BlackBerry in 2007 and thereby avoided going on trial for assault. Time for a kinder, gentler Foxy! [Reuters]
• There is audio of the domestic violence 911 call involving Vanilla Ice, if you care to hear it. [The Superficial]
• Madonna is endorsing secondary ticket sales for her upcoming tour, which means if at first it seems like it's sold out, it might not be — if you have the cash. [Financial Times]
• Ashton Kutcher slept around before he met Demi Moore, surprise, surprise. [The Sun]
• Daniel Depp got his debut novel published, maybe because he is Johnny Depp's (half) brother? [Independent]
• Hot hottie Gary Dourdan of CSI has been charged with felony drug possession. Maybe I'm old but I remember him best as the gorgeous man in the Janet Jackson video. [Yahoo News]
• Rihanna kissing Chris Brown at KFC! LOL! [Concrete Loop]

• Slut Machine took one for the team and Intern Betty filmed her getting a colonic. Crappy hour indeed.
  
• Speaking of Crap: If Aliza Shvarts smears her uterine lining all over Boot Barn and no one is around to see it, did it really happen?
  
• We learned why mommy's face no longer moves.
  
• The kind of mommy who reads Baby Couture!
  
• Paul Janka + Tyra = Our pop cultural worlds colliding

• We met Sarah, an American journalist in Yemen. She misses booze.
• The American economy through the lens of hand jobs and Dov Charney: a treatise.
• The conspiracy against curls must be stopped.
• Even though Mark Ronson might be off the market, get your ass effects out on the town this weekend! It's been a doozy of a week.