marissajaretwinokur

posts about #marissajaretwinokur more →
Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
Dance Your Ass Off: Empowering? Embarrassing?
Her Goal: To Wear A Bikini In A Magazine
Do The Bump, Get A Smaller Rump?
Britney Admits Her Marriage Was A Bad Idea
The Zohan Premiere: Starring Everyone You Kinda-Sorta Know, Looking Kinda-Sorta Good
Loose Lips
The Business Of Being Born: Some Might've Looked Better In Their Birthday Suits

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MilointheMeadow
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
January Jones looks so much like Christina Applegate on the cover of Interview.
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
Well, I guess J.Lo.Hew is officially out of the celebrity Lonely Hearts club that Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson totally created (in my head). On the upside, looks like LiLo is going to be joining their ranks soon, so that should be fun.
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formergr
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that there is no way that Blanket asked if his Daddy was away "on holiday". I'm going to instead guess he asked (if this piece is at all true anyway) if he was "away on vacation".

Does the Mirror really think its British readers won't get it if they use the actual quote of vacation instead of changing to "on holiday"?? I understand clarifying if it's a chips/crisps issue, but I'm going to guess that 99.9% of British people know what a vacation is.
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Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
07/21/09

@formergr: They do that with spots vs. acne , too. As if Lindsay Lohan is suddenly complaining about 'me spots.'
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femputer
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
On baby name websites "January" has recently shot up in popularity. Ms. Jones must be the reason, so she need not be too stressed by the porn-actress thing.
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lauraholtsteele
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
Jeffrey Donovan's lived in relative USA Network obscurity, and one of his first shots at national publicity is a drunk driving arrest? Where's Fiona and Sam - not to mention his mom - when you need them? I still love him, though!
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Devonna promoted this comment lauraholtsteele was starred lauraholtsteele was unstarred

Devonna
07/21/09

@lauraholtsteele: Isn't a DUI just a rite of passage, though, for famous people? (half-kidding, only) Also, I still love him, too.
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/21/09

@lauraholtsteele: Well, he WAS in Changeling and that was a real live movie with Angelina Jolie and he was in the previews for it. But yeah, when I try and think of him, my first reaction is "that astronaut guy from Monk!" and my second is "that sexy spy from that show I don't watch!"
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vulcanized
07/21/09

@Zombie Ms. Skittles: I still see him as Kyle from The Pretender. My nerdy roots, they are deep.
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dianersb was bit by a zombie
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
Wait, why is Daniel Radcliffe billed as Harry Potter, but Emma Watson gets to be herself. The Telegraph does realize that Harry Potter is a fictional character, right?
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lilbobbytables
07/21/09

@dianersb was bit by a zombie: LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE...!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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SleepoverParty
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
Hey Tony Romo is it your birthday? Oh yeah, it wasn't. Don't be a birthday dick.
If it's your girlfriend's birthday and she wants you to dress up like Ken just do it, you wear tiny spandex pants for a living. Suck it up man.
Also breaking up with someone the day before their birthday is just not something you do. What's that about Tony Romo?
Tony Romo=Birthday dick
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Devonna promoted this comment SleepoverParty was starred SleepoverParty was unstarred

dirtybee
07/21/09

@SleepoverParty: As, ahem, "cute" as her birthday theme may have been for his taste, it was her f'ing birthday and she had the right to do whatever the hell she wanted! Its one day Tony - get over it.
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BlondeGoddess
07/21/09

@SleepoverParty:Couldn't he have waited till after her birthday? Srsly. I had a boyfriend once that broke up with me ON NEW YEAR'S DAY. Way to start the new year. Would it have killed him to wait till Jan 2 or Jan 3?
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Sputnik_Sweetheart
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
During his prison sentence, Nelson Mandela received a Bachelors of Law degree through correspondence from the University of London. Lil' Kim, while in prison, watched Dancing with the Stars.
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AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
07/21/09

@Sputnik_Sweetheart: priorities, she has them.
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WashingMyHair
07/21/09

@Sputnik_Sweetheart: Lil' Kim and Mandella both have the same sign, Cancer. So, they must be similar. I find that every other Gemini I meet has the same background, interests and goals as I do. Don't we all?
Astrology can't be wrong. Never ever!
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Edited by WashingMyHair at 07/21/09 9:59 AM WashingMyHair was starred WashingMyHair was unstarred

PennilynLott
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
I'm going to need more context on that Katherine Heigl quote...
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AmericanSplendor promoted this comment PennilynLott was starred PennilynLott was unstarred

AmericanSplendor
07/21/09

@PennilynLott:

Same. Broadway doesn't piss people off, IT'S THE LAND OF HAPPINESS AND LIGHT!

/geekout.
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morninggloria
07/21/09

@AmericanSplendor: A good way to tell if someone is an evil pod person living among us and attempting to steal our souls is if they say that all Broadway musicals piss them off. I can understand being pissed off by Andrew Lloyd Weber, but Wicked? Annie Get Your Gun? My Fair Lady? Anything that Kristin Chenoweth touches? Only a pod person could hate all of it.
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Rooo sez BISH PLZ
07/21/09

@morninggloria: Heh. So you decided to take that contract with the MIB team.
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vulcanized
07/21/09

@PennilynLott: I took one for the team and watched the interview. She's "pissed" TR is going to Broadway because he's her friend and now he's moving to New York so she won't see him as often. "Bummed" or the like probably would have been a better word choice.
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Eleanor Ramilly
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
The final nail in the coffin was an argument they had over how to celebrate Jessica's birthday. She wanted a splashy Ken & Barbie-themed bash with all of her celebrity friends, and Tony wanted a quiet, low-key dinner for just the two of them.

Well, whose birthday was it? AmIright? If my man wanted us to go to Applebees in harem pants on his birthday, I'd do it.
And I hate Applebees. And harem pants.
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Edited by Eleanor Ramilly at 07/21/09 9:23 AM Eleanor Ramilly was starred Eleanor Ramilly was unstarred

ritualtheory
07/21/09

@Eleanor Ramilly: You're a hell of a woman. If it were my husband's dying wish, G-d forbid, I'd do harems at Applebees. Birthday? Not so much.
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Zombie Ms. Skittles
07/21/09

@Eleanor Ramilly: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Like, really, Tony? The last straw was that she wanted to have an actual party for her birthday? When it's your birthday, you can have a quiet dinner. Although I've gotta hand it to him, he managed to totally get out of going to the party -- or out of her even having one. Dick move, Tony. Dick move.
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Edited by Zombie Ms. Skittles at 07/21/09 10:02 AM

ozu
07/21/09

@Eleanor Ramilly: Yeah, I mean I can understanding humiliating yourself in a Ken costume for Halloween or if she's recovering from cancer or she wants some alone time roleplay, but a birthday party where the paparazzi will be out in force? No thanks.

If he was already looking to end it, I can easily see how this would be a no-go for him.
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Eleanor Ramilly promoted this comment ozu was starred ozu was unstarred

Eleanor Ramilly
07/21/09

@ozu: I must admit, I forgot about the paparazzi. Suddenly I'm rethinking said pants.
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SlappySquirrel
07/21/09

@Eleanor Ramilly: I once went to a Weird Al concert on my husband's birthday.

Bite me, Tony Romo
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Lisabel (ne: Dagnabbit)
07/21/09

@SlappySquirrel: Lols, you better squeeze as much mileage out of that self-less event for the rest of your marriage. "Don't want to take me to this chick flick? Two words: 'Eat It'".
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kookla
07/21/09

@Eleanor Ramilly: I thought harem pants were a requirement to eat at Applebee's.
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bellejay
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
Another word to be sent to the graveyard: "super" as a suffix. I'm sorry Bonnie Sommerville, but "supertalented" is not a word.
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AmericanSplendor promoted this comment Edited by bellejay at 07/21/09 9:21 AM bellejay was starred bellejay was unstarred

AmericanSplendor
07/21/09

@bellejay:

Affixes are my favorite linguistic flourish. In Spanish, they put super in front of everything, like superpancho (big hot dog) or superbien (really good).
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AmericanSplendor
07/21/09

@bellejay:

Also, interesting linguistic tidbit:

So most languages have prefixes (before) suffixes (after) and something that we don't have in conventional English, infixes (inside). Save one exception: the word fucking, as in absofuckinglutely or Califuckingfornia.

Now you know.
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BlondeGrlz
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
"Are Kate Gosselin and Madonna workout buddies? The Jon & Kate star has arms that mirror Madge's."
Are Blondegrlz and Jessica Simpson hairstylist buddies? They both have BLOND HAIR!
Are Blondegrlz and Barack Obama walking buddies? They both have LEGS!
Are Blondegrlz and Jezebel secret love affair buddies? They both have E'S IN THEIR NAME!
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tiny_danza
07/21/09

@BlondeGrlz: Are Blondegrlz and Jezebel and Tiny Danza wild threesome buddies?
They all have Z'S IN THEIR NAME!!!!!!
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BabyJane promoted this comment Edited by tiny_danza at 07/21/09 9:25 AM tiny_danza was starred tiny_danza was unstarred

wtfox?!
07/21/09

@BlondeGrlz: Also, there's that cover of People that shows you looking disheveled and vaguely irritated, with the implication you're aware that Barack Obama and Jezebel are seeing each other again, after they "accidentally" ran into each other at the hair salon.
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lalaland13
07/21/09

@BlondeGrlz: Are BlondeGrlz and lalaland13 lesbians? They both have L's, so it must be true!
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lilbobbytables
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
It is official. As much as I like Charlotte Gainsbourg, she an I have drastically different definitions of fun.
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ritualtheory
07/21/09

@lilbobbytables is a la-di-da feminist: It's a French thing ~ you wouldn't understand.
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Khrushchev
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
Everyone knows that the only time Ginny Weasley and Hermione Granger do not get along is when Hermione is all "You have to get rid of the Half-Blood Prince's book, Harry!" and Ginny is all "You shut your mouth when you're talking to my boyfriend." Everyone knows this. Everyone.
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funnyface
07/21/09

@Khrushchev: Only people who don't know it are total muggles.
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suzannelb
07/21/09

@Khrushchev: OUCH. Ginny was all, "Oh, don’t start acting as though you understand Quidditch, you’ll only embarrass yourself."

...everyone in that book was SO BITCHY. It was like Rock of Love, except EVERYONE had their wands out and not just Bret Michaels.
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maneki neko
07/21/09

In reply to Lindsay's Enraged; Love Hewitt's Engaged
Re: Blind Item -

What's more mysterious to me than the identity of said starlet is why she would keep the Alice love a secret. Isn't kitsch hip and ironic? Or am I mixing up my subcultures?

That said, Scarlet Johansson.
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ritualtheory
07/21/09

@maneki neko: ScarJo can't rightly be considered "indie" anymore, though, can she? I vote for Zooey Deschanel in Wonderland.
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ides
07/21/09

@maneki neko: I thought Zooey Deschanel.
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hortense promoted this comment ides was starred ides was unstarred

nora charles
07/21/09

@maneki neko: I gotta say, this is the least juicy blind item ever.

I'm going to go with Evan Rachel Wood. Her IMDB biography even has a quote from her about how she's "always been really into Alice in Wonderland." And I think Marilyn Manson went through an Alice in Wonderland phase, too, so maybe they bonded over that.
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BlondeGoddess promoted this comment nora charles was starred nora charles was unstarred

AtomiClash: humanitarian misanthrope
07/21/09

@maneki neko: regardless, bish stole my decorating theme. Pfft.
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BlondeGoddess
07/21/09

@ritualtheory: Here's pics of Zooey's home - go look for clues!

PS I have no idea how to upload pics or image URL so this will probable be an epic fail.
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BlondeGoddess
07/21/09

@BlondeGoddess: Uh, yes, fail. Here's the link: http://jezebel.com/5129544/lady-sings-decorates-the-blues
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Edited by BlondeGoddess at 07/21/09 9:46 AM BlondeGoddess was starred BlondeGoddess was unstarred

Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
07/21/09

@nora charles: Ooh, you're good.
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ritualtheory
07/21/09

@BlondeGoddess:Her place is actually far less whimsical than I'd have imagined. Nora Charles' Evan Rachel Wood guess gallops to the front!
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