Well hi hello, folks! I'm sorry to have forsaken you last week, but when I received word that Eggplant Friday was no longer in the tournament, I had to be airlifted to an emotional rejuvenation retreat where I was locked in a cryotherapy chamber for several days.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Yes, you.
Sports: holy shit, right? But the on-court drama of the NCAA men's and women's basketball tournaments couldn't possibly match the onscreen drama of this made up tournament between the forces of the internet and the forces of reality, this clash between what is social and what is antisocial. What will prevail? It's up…
Wow. Wowowowow. We are officially done with Round 1 of March Madness, my fellow sports fanatics, and what a round it was!
It's Day 3 of Jezebel's March Madness competition, Internet vs. IRL, blue pills vs. red pills, hack attacks vs. shark attacks, etc. etc. As always, vote for the teams that you like best, the ones that make your heart twerk with glee, the ones that make your body say: "Yas."
Welcome to Day 2 of Jezebel's March Madness, ladies and gentlemen! We've got a lot to plow through today, so let's get started.
Get ready to start using that sexy little brain of yours, because March Madness 2015: Internet vs. IRL is about to commence. I'm your host, the very cool and knowledgeable one who didn't really get how brackets worked until today.
Insurgent star and longtime University of Kentucky basketball fan Ashley Judd received some ugly March Madness-themed Twitter backlash during Sunday's SEC Tournament championship game.
Next Tuesday, March 10th, Jezebel is hosting its first reading at The Bell House in Brooklyn. The topic: March Madness. The lineup: completely stacked.
Sad update: Lacey “Princess” Holsworth, who jumped into our hearts during March Madness through her friendship with Michigan State baller Adreian Payne has died.
Caffeine? CAFFEINE?! You people had a world's worth of drugs and booze to vote from and you ended up choosing the most legal and readily accessible of them all? THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.
It all comes down to this. Drugs vs. Alcohol. Caffeine vs. Champagne. Whereas all men must die, one March Madness competitor can live forever as the God of Inebriation. Your vote decides which will be remembered (and forgotten) as the substance that tried and failed and which will achieve immortality in our hearts and…
Booze hounds and dope fiends, we have arrived at the March Madness: Drugs vs. Alcohol Final Four and soon — within mere days — this violent, furious competition will come to a close with only one winner. Looks like we've come to the eeeeeend of the roooooad and still I can't let these drugs and alcohols go.
They’re unlikely friends, but Michigan State hoop star Adreian Payne and eight-year-old Lacey Holsworth are the cutest thing you’ll see today. During a charitable hospital visit two years ago with his college basketball team, Payne met the little girl who is fighting nerve cancer and was struck by her optimism…
SPORTS LANGUAGE! EVEN MORE INTENSE SPORTS LANGUAGE! ALL-CAPS! WELCOME TO MARCH MADNESS DRUGS VS. ALCOHOL'S TOOOOOOOOOOP EEEEEEEIGHT.
I'm shakin'! I got the sweats! The doctor says I have a fever and the only cure is moooooooooooore MARCH MADNESS.
March Madness marches on: So much booze. So many drugs. So little time.
SWEET SASSY MOLASSY! We've reached the end of the top 32, which means next week we'll be knee deep in the Sweet Sixteen! How time flies! Now, like they do in the Hunger Games, let us honor our fallen tributes.
IT'S MARCH! MADNESS! DAAAAAAAAY FOOOOOOOUR! ***Crowd goes wild***
It's only day three of Jezebel's March Madness: Drugs vs. Alcohol and some of the races are already tight tight tight! Yesterday, Gin knocked Rum out of the running by a slim 131 votes! In this case, I'm sad to say that "close" earns you a big fat nothing. Sorry, Rum. We'll catch up with you in mojito season.