I met him once, at the Atlanta Airport. I was pretty taken aback not only by how tall he is, but by the fact that he was oiled (in a suit!) and sporting a spray-on beard - seriously. Up close, it's totally just paint.

This was like, 7 years ago, so I can't imagine, don't WANT to imagine, what he looks like up close and personal now.

When I was a kid he was one of my heroes. Now he's just a schmuck.

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@pinkyBella: It's like they are übermensch and we're just petty idiots with computers are gadgets.

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Me sitting around in my underpants and pit-stained Duran Duran t-shirt, eating cottage cheese and watching For the Love of Ray J or having conversations with minisparks that include:

Why Ratatouille is better than The Incredibles.

Or why Macchu Pichu is more awesome than the Pyramids.

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I have never watched any of these shows. The clips on Jezebel alone bore me, I would never want to watch the whole episode. I also have anger issues with watching talentless, ignorant people who have tons of money for no apparent reason.

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ps minisparks' reality show would be HILARIOUS. She was in a foul mood this morning and put on a t-shirt, which she had found at the Salvation Army a few weeks back that said:

I Didn't Do It.

I spat my yogurt out when she walked out of her bedroom.

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Then, sometimes when two characters need to go from one place to another, they'll mumble "Yuhh," and "Less' go," and "Like, YAWW," as they sullenly stumble into a limo or private jet. As they sullenly stumble OUT of the luxurious transportation vehicle, they encounter OTHER poreless, wand-limbed, bedraggled-extension'd young things. Then the dialogue goes as follows: "Like, YAWWW." Or "Whuh?" or "You WHUH?" And "NAH." Or "LIKE, WHUH?"

If you remove the kicky sound track and sound effects, it's positively nightmarish. It's really, really unsettling, because it's such a peculiar, washed-out, slow-motion apelike mockery of actual human behavior. Like alien creatures from another world came to Earth and stole a bunch of shiny, freshly painted mannequins from a department store and tried to put on a puppet show with them, but the aliens couldn't quite produce the sounds of human speech, so they just mumbled along.

As you can tell, I am not the target demographic.

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