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Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?

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Rbkah
01/17/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
I don't see why people don't understand why it's important to have the ring to show you are married. Every human culture has something, maybe a haircut, the way you wear jewellery, a special robe, every culture,the ring is just a Western symbol. I'm a feminist but I've always wanted a big blinging rock cos I like diamonds.
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par3
01/18/09

@Rbkah:

the wedding band is a symbol of marriage/union which is usually downplayed, a simple gold band with no exaggerated status-identifying diamonds. the concept of the engagement ring is what i'm talking about here.

i personally don't identify with any labels (saying im feminist) but at the same time i still see an engagement ring as a dowry-type symbol similar like a contract or collateral. a man preparing to ask a woman to marry him has to drop 30Gs+ on a ring, as an investment for their relationship? does the weight of the rock determine his faithfulness and dedication to the relationship? or is it more of a financial tag slipped on your finger used to ensure you won't jump into bed with someone else before the vows?

when a man has to make that kind of financial decision- should he also be shunned for making more than a woman at his profession/work place? while some will say 'the woman's parents pay for the wedding' ... i doubt the man's parents bought her that rock so it doesn't really equal out to me.

but then this brings me back to my point...shouldn't the WEDDING ring be more emphasized if it symbolizes the couples UNION rather than the engagement ring that is only given to the female (in more cases) as a pre-marriage 'symbol'.
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par3
01/17/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
i always found it interesting when a feminist talked big and tough...then melted and got all giddy over an engagement ring. this mangagement ring kind of makes you think...why not- he too now requires a dowry?
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Tart of Darkness
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
Back before the turn of the century in the moneyed classes exchanging rings to signal an engagement was common. And engagement rings were highly varied in design and type of stone. Diamonds really didn't become THE stone until around the 1940s. When the wedding "set" became popular. Prior to that many different stones and types of rings were worn.
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Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
My husband and I both got engagement rings. We made a commitment to each other, we both wanted to wear a symbol of our betrothal, and he didn't want it to look like it was him who bought me with me wearing my owner's claim around town.

I'm really happy with the rings that we chose. He had his custom made because the selection for men's jewelery is so crappy and he wanted a unique colored stone.
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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
I don't like engagement rings; they seem like an excessively expensive way for men to mark their 'possessions'.
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exelizabeth
01/16/09

@Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith: You don't have to buy expensive rings, you know.
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woobie
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
I always thought it was weird that women wear rings and men don't...to me, it's like the physical manifestation of "engagement." Personally, I don't feel like it's real until there is something to commemorate it, whether it be rings, tattoos, bracelets, or whatever. I don't get how men can, like, understand their engagement without an object to personify it.
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exelizabeth
01/16/09

@woobie: I actually agree with this, because I find symbols important. My fiance didn't get me my ring until 2 months after he proposed, and having the ring made me feel a lot better and like it was real. However, this was mostly because we have had a really rocky year and he was leaving the country for 8 months and I wasn't sure how totally committed he actually was. So it helped me to see that he had put time and effort into it.

Believe me, I had a lot of "Jesus I'm a crappy feminist for wanting a ring so bad" moments, but it's just my personal situation was one in which the symbol of a ring was extremely important to me. So whateves. I got the rock now! Mission accomplished!
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exelizabeth
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
What the heck is with this "ownship" shit people keep talking about with rings? Rings are symbols of committment, not that you are "owned" by another person. If you don't buy into that symbolism, if you feel rings have a different symbolism, fine. But I personally find symbols important, and some of them are unique to me and I make up, and some are social symbols. I like my ring, it reminds me of the wonderful man I'm committing to partner my life with. If you want to tell me it's just a symbol that he bought me, you're just being an asshole, really.
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exelizabeth
01/16/09

@exelizabeth: Also, sorry if I sound kind of histronic, my fiance is halfway across the world until September and it's just starting to really sink in how much I miss him.
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Hana Maru, used up old slutbag on the pole
01/16/09

@exelizabeth: Symbols and rituals ARE important. It's because of their cultural meaning that we traditionally only give women rings, have fathers give the brides away, etc. And that's why we should change the rituals to fit our changing values, not just do away with them. My husband and I both got engagement rings and I love the symbolism of mutual commitment.
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elitza owns the last Enzo shirt
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
When I was engaged, I wore a white gold and sapphire ring and he wore a titanium band (it was actually a wedding band, but w/e) I picked mine out and he bought it; he picked out his and I bought it. Symbolic of most of our relationship, I put much more thought into my ring while spending about three times as much on his than he did on mine.

We're not engaged anymore, clearly.

I think it's a decent idea overall though, nice that if the girl gets to say "I'm taken" by flashing around something shiny, then the guy does too.

Oh, what about same-sex marriages? Who gets the engagement ring then?
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morninggloria
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
I'd be down if it were an engagement cock ring.
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Beets.Go.On is the Fat Yogini
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
I got an engagement ring, my fiance wants an engagement tattoo as soon as I'm liquid enough to pay for it. He wants a kracken engulfing a ship to be tattooed on his side. I think that's fair and I don't think it would even cost as much as he dropped on my ring. I like the idea.
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clevernamehere
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
The ring pictured isn't the kind that women are proposing with. This is what they mean by male engagement ring: [www.hsamuel.co.uk]

They strike me as very Sopranos, but there is kind of a Sopranos type subculture in the UK with lots of tracksuits.

I've always thought it was a bit strange than women get an engagement ring and men don't get anything, but a nice watch makes more sense to me than a male engagement ring.
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Tart of Darkness
01/16/09

@clevernamehere: I've seen a smaller version of that type of ring with just a nine stone array of diamonds and it was very attractive. It was a little unusual. A couple we knew gave each other anniversary rings and this was the design of the man's.
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Kivrin
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
I didn't buy my guy an engagement ring, although I have threatened to buy him a ring with a Batman logo and force him to wear it. He feigns protestations, but I think he'd secretly like it, because he wants to be Batman.
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SarahMC
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
I don't see it as progress when women are pressured to spend more money on unnecessary stuff than they already are.
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sequined
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
I guess I was kind of hoping we'd equal this out by ditching the icky diamonds-and-women/people-as-possessions thing altogether, but for the diamond industry, I can see why this makes more sense.
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Ulookinatmyjunk, JOC
01/16/09

In reply to Male Engagement Rings: "Progress" To Poop On?
No wedding rings for anybody. I'll just tell my dude to cut off his ring finger as a sign of his commitment. Blood sacrifice...it's what all the cool Wiccans are doing this year.
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