[Rio de Janeiro, November 22. Image via Getty]

Human rights activists hold signs and flags during a demonstration against Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at Ipanema beach in Rio de Janeiro, on November 22, 2009. Ahmadinejad will arrive in Brazil tomorrow as part of a a five nation tour, in a bid to boost ties with Latin America's biggest economy and a rare backer of Tehran's nuclear programme. AFP PHOTO/Eduardo Romero (Photo credit should read EDUARDO ROMERO/AFP/Getty Images)

[New York, September 23. Image via Getty]

A protester shouts slogans against Iranian leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in front of the United Nations during the 64th UN General Assembly in New York on September 23, 2009. Ahmadinejad is scheduled to deliver a closely-watched speech at the UN General Assembly where US President Barack Obama put Iran on the spot over its nuclear aims. AFP PHOTO/Jewel SAMAD (Photo credit should read JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images)

• A state panel has found that there is probable cause to believe that a suburban Philadelphia swim club, which asked a group of mostly black and Hispanic kids to leave, was guilty of discrimination. One of the girls who was asked to leave reports overhearing a club member asking, "What are all these black kids doing here? I am scared they might do something to my child." • For the low price of $39.95, you can be the proud owner of a Joe Wilson action figure, because nothing says I'm well-versed in politics! quite like a plastic figurine. •  Girls are fast catching up to boys in violent crime, according to new data. Although the increase first began to appear in the 1980s, it was only in the past decade that we saw a true rise in violence among young women. Professor Kerry Carrington will publish her findings in her book, Offending Youth. • The man accused of beating a female soldier outside an Atlanta Cracker Barrel has been indicted on charges of aggravated assault, cruelty to children, and false imprisonment. Federal officials are currently investigating whether he should also be charged with committing a hate crime. • A South African man has been sentenced to life in prison after being found guilty of the "corrective" rape and murder of Eudy Simelane, one of the country's leading female soccer players. Two other men were acquitted due to lack of evidence. • Police have been unable to link Philip and Nancy Garrido to the disappearance of two young girls. Last week, it was reported that police found what could possibly be human remains on the Garrido's land, but it has since been determined that the bones are "far too old to be relevant to our case." • Max Baucus has backed down on his proposed tax on the medical devices industry. The so-called "Q-tip tax" has been amended, so that items under $100 (including tampons, sanitary pads, and Q-tips) would no longer be taxed. •  Researchers have found that providing Mexican women with new, pollution-reducing stoves can dramatically improve their respiratory health. Many Mexican women cook over indoor, wood-burning stoves, which causes them the same damage as smoking a pack of cigarettes every day. • Bad news for breeders: Scientists have linked childbearing to an increased risk for developing metabolic syndrome. • High school science teacher Susan Vincent was disappointed to realize that inner-city girls don't get to spend a lot of time outside, so she introduced a program at her school that brings kids to the Hudson River estuary. She hopes that they will eventually be able to fund a field-trip to the Mississippi River delta. • According to a recent poll, women are twice as likely to ask someone else to park for them than men. Women are also more likely to admit to being flustered while parallel parking, and to becoming self-conscious when watched. This leads the Daily Fail to deduce that "parking is a masculine strength." • Though Justine Henin retired from tennis last year at 25, when she was ranked number one and held two Grand Slam singles titles, she announced yesterday that she's returning to competition, and may even be back for the Australian Open. • A study of 2,000 British children ages 7 to 11 found left-handed kids are more likely to enjoy school and get along with their teachers. • According to another study of 2,000 adult Britons, many people are in denial about their weight problems. Though only 7 percent of those polled thought they were obese, the actual figure was 27 percent. • The FDA has banned the sale of candy, fruit and clove-flavored cigarettes, effective immediately. However, the ban does not apply to flavored cigars, smokeless tobacco products, or most notably, menthol cigarettes. Menthol cigarettes are preferred by 80% of black smokers and 25% of white smokers, and are increasingly popular with teens according to Jonathan Foulds, director of the Tobacco Dependence Program University of Medicine & Dentistry of New Jersey-School of Public Health, but he says banning them too would result in a "pretty major revolt from industry." • Experts say the murder and persecution of women and children accused of being witches is increasing around the world, and may number in the millions. U.N. investigators say the persecution and killing of accused witches, who are often elderly women, is becoming common in South Africa, Nepal, Papua Ne Guinea, India, and other countries. In other areas children accused of witchcraft are abandoned or killed by their families. • Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad backed off his denial of the Holocaust in an interview with the AP yesterday. He said he isn't interested in debating the past anymore, but that the Holocaust shouldn't be used as a pretext to repress Palestinians today. • Some of the 42 African-American members of Congress who attended the Congressional Black Caucus conference this week said that "tea parties" and the people protesting against Obama's healthcare reform show that racism is on the rise. Democratic Georgia Rep. Hank Johnson, said Joe Wilson shouting "You lie!" could signal the return of "folks putting on white hoods and white uniforms again, riding through the countryside." • In the late '80s, when Glenn Beck hosted a Phoenix, Arizona radio show he used to do a version of Orson Welles' "War of the Worlds" every Halloween. A rival radio host, Bruce Kelly, told a newspaper reported the bit was a stupid rip-off of an old joke. As revenge, Beck called Kelly's wife, Terry, live on the air a few days after she had a miscarriage. According to Brad Miller, one of Beck's former co-workers, he said," We hear you had a miscarriage... When Terry said, 'Yes,' Beck proceeded to joke about how Bruce [Kelly] apparently can't do anything right — about he can't even have a baby." •

• In this video, Miss Universe contestants are shown participating in the "Condom Olympics" three days before the pageant on August 23. The event was sponsored by the AIDS prevention group Population Services International, and the women were asked to blow up condoms until they burst, fill them with water, and conduct condom demonstrations. A representative for the group says they were preparing the new Miss Universe to be an Ambassador for Youth AIDS and "Often times, target populations are illiterate or of low literacy and we need to find ways to reach them through engaging activities that don't rely on written materials." Conservative groups are upset that the activities didn't promote abstinence and PSI was founded by pornographer Phil Harvey. • Amber Alerts were created for stranger abductions in which a child is in danger, but LiveScience columnist Benjamin Radford argues that there are too many false alarms. Most abductions are committed by a non-custodial parent or family member and don't qualify for the notification. One study found that of all the Amber Alerts issued in 2004, police had violated protocol by issuing the alert in 70 percent of the cases. • Australian Tegan Leach, 19, is waiting to see if she'll have to stand trial for giving herself an abortion at home. Her boyfriend may be charged with supplying a drug to procure an abortion and both have been charged with procuring an abortion, which carries a maximum sentence of seven years. Police found empty Ukrainian blister packs they say may have contained pills that induce abortion. Abortion laws in Australia vary by state, but they are illegal in Queensland, where she lives, unless the mother's life is in jeopardy. • Iranian MPs have approved the the first female minister in the republic's 30-year history. Marzieh Vahid Dastjerdi, who will be the health minister, is a hard-line conservative who has proposed introducing gender-segregated health care in Iran in the past. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad nominated three women for cabinet positions but MPs rejected the other two women he picked to be social security minister and education minister. • A study of 1,000 Iranian high school students suggests family history may determine whether or not teens get severe acne. Of the teens whose parents or siblings had moderate to severe acne, 20 percent had the same problem, compared to only 10 percent of those teen with no family history. • Russia's supreme court has cancelled the retrial of four men accused of being involved in the murder of investigative journalist Anna Politkovskaya in 2006. Prosecutors have been ordered to begin a new investigation into the involvement of the suspected gunman as well as the four men. In the decision the court sided with the journalist's family, who argued a retrial would take attention away from finding who planned the murder. • Primatologists at New York's Stony Brook University have found that pregnant female gorillas continue mating with males to prevent other females from mating with him. "It seems to us that mating is another tactic that females use to compete with each other – in this case to gain favour with another male," said one researcher, who believes this behavior may help explain how humans evolved into a generally monogamous species. • People have continued secretly visiting Neda Agha-Soltan's grave in Behesht-e Zahra cemetery even though Basij paramilitary vigilantes have threatened to harass or arrest mourners. Authorities may have decided to bury her and other opposition martyrs there because the cemetery is large and located an hour outside Tehran, but people have figured out where Neda's grave is and leave flower petals on the site. • Researchers studied 32 women with postpartum depression and found that 17 of the mothers, or 53%, felt suicidal. This group was also felt they were less prepared for motherhood and had greater difficulty responding to their infant's needs than those who were not suicidal. • Australian scientists tested cancerous breast cells and found several strains of HPVs known to have a high risk of initiating cervical cancer. "The finding that high risk HPV is present in a significant number of breast cancers indicates they may have a causal role in many breast cancers," said one researcher. "Confirming a cancer-causing role for HPV in some breast cancers establishes the possibility of preventing some breast cancers by vaccination against HPV. • Dirty Diaries, a collection of 12 short pornographic films shot by a feminist documentary maker Mia Engberg and funded by taxpayers is premiering in Sweden tonight. "Porn has always been made by men for men," said Engberg, "Above all, it's about showing sexuality through a female's perspective. It's not made to please a male audience and it's not made to make money," she added. • A 68-year-old nun was arrested for drunk driving on Long Island, New York on Tuesday after crashing into a tree. She was driving a car that belonged to the church and almost hit a group of children playing on their lawn. Police found a water bottle filled with alcohol in the car and say her blood-alcohol level was more than twice the legal limit. • A 68-year-old Salt Lake City woman who held the Guinness World Record for her long fingernails lost them in February when they broke during a car crash. She says it's much easier to move her hands now without the weight of her fingernails, which measured as long as 2 feet, 11 inches. She's not going to try to grow them out again because it took her 30 years to get them to that length and she doesn't think she'll live that long. •

Though Ahmadinejad claims the nominations are indicative of "a new era," the Associated Press notes that the nominations may also be a means for Ahmadinejad to fend off the continuing criticism by those who still believe his re-election was rigged and not representative of the will of the people.

Two of the ministers have already been named, according to Reuters: Fatemeh Ajorlou, who will serve as social welfare minister, and Marzieh Vahid Dastjerdi, a professor and gynecologist, who will serve as health minister. A third female minister is expected to be named soon. [AP] [Reuters]

[Islamabad, August 5. Image via Getty]

Iranian demonstrators shout slogans during a protest in the capital Islamabad on August 5, 2009 against the swearing in of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in Tehran. Ahmadinejad was sworn in for a second term on August 5, vowing more defiance of the West at a ceremony boycotted by his rivals, as police in full riot gear broke up protests by opposition demonstrators. The 52-year-old hardliner took the oath of office for another four years at a ceremony in parliament after his landslide election victory in June that triggered the worst turmoil in the Islamic republic's history. AFP PHOTO/AAMIR QURESHI (Photo credit should read AAMIR QURESHI/AFP/Getty Images)

[New York, June 24. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - JUNE 24: Demonstrators protest the Iranian election results in Union Square June 24, 2009 in New York City. Pro-reformers are questioning Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's landslide win on June 12 as opposition leader Mir Hossein Mousavi and two other main presidential candidates allege that the election was rigged. As the country of Iran has erupted in protest and security forces have responded with a brutal show of force Iranian authorities having barred journalists from international news organizations from reporting on the streets and ordered them to stay in their offices. (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)

[Los Angeles, June 23. Image via Getty]

A young girl holds up photos comparing the Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with Adolf Hitler during a protest against the result of the recent Iranian elections, outside the Federal Building in Los Angeles on June 23, 2009. President Barack Obama staked out his toughest stance yet on Iran, expressing outrage over a government crackdown and a 'heartbreaking' video of a woman bleeding to death during a street protest. 'The United States and the international community have been appalled and outraged by the threats, the beatings, and imprisonments of the last few days,' Obama said, stiffening his rhetoric on the crisis. AFP PHOTO/Mark RALSTON (Photo credit should read MARK RALSTON/AFP/Getty Images)

[Tehran, June 19. Image via Getty]

Iranian women walk in a street before the speech of Iran's supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei outside the Tehran University, on June 19, 2009. Making his first public appearance after daily protests over the official results, Khamenei spoke at the weekly Muslim prayers, called for an end to street protests over last week's disputed presidential election, and sided with declared winner Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. (OLIVIER LABAN-MATTEI/AFP/Getty Images)

[Tehran, June 19. Image via Getty]

TEHRAN, IRAN - JUNE 19: A woman marches during a pro-government demonstration at Tehran University, on June 19, 2009 in Tehran, Iran. Making his first public appearance after daily protests over the official election results, Iran's supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei spoke at Friday Prayers, calling for an end to street protests over last week's disputed presidential election. He has declared support for the officially declared winner Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and denied accusations that accusations that last week's presidential election was rigged. (Photo by Getty Images)

• Last night, Sarah Palin ended up stopping by a Republican fundraiser that she was scheduled to headline, dropped out of and tried to get back into when her 2012 rival, Newt Gingrich, took her slot. [Washington Post]

• Newt Gingrich did plenty of talking, however, offering that he's "happy" Dick Cheney and Colin Powell are Republicans and that he thinks internal debates about policy and ideology should be saved until the party is in the majority again. You know, 'cause that worked so well for moderate Republicans before. [Associated Press]
• One place the GOP has asserted dominance is New York State, where two Democrats with legal problems (Pedro Espada Jr. of the Bronx and Hiram Monserrate of Queens) re-installed the Republican majority in the Senate. Espada is in line to become governor if David Paterson is incapacitated, so it worked out rather nicely for him, if not for the state's LGBT population. [NY Times]
• Former New York Senator Hillary Clinton has told Israel that since the Bush Administration didn't turn over any evidence of their so-called secret arrangement by which Israel would say it had stopped settlement expansion while expanding settlements, there is no such arrangement. [Washington Independent]
• Morgan Tsvangirai, the Prime Minister of Zimbabwe under a power-sharing arrangement with its dictator, Robert Mugabe, will visit with President Obama today. It'll be unseemly to be caught wishing for Mugabe to die already but... [Washington Post]
• South Korea has beaten us in imposing unilateral sanctions on North Korea for all the crazy shit Kim Jong Il's been pulling lately to prove that he hasn't had a stroke and is totally right in the head. [NY Times]
• Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's constituents have finally heard about all the crazy shit he says about being surrounded by light from Allah and whatnot, thanks to a political rival. Unsurprisingly, some people in Iran thinks he sounds batshit. [Huffington Post]
• House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has decided to fuck over the Senate (retribution for all the times it has done the same to her?) and strip out Senator Joe Lieberman's provision that would prevent the release of the rest of the torture photos the ACLU wants. [Politico]
• The Supreme Court plans on reviewing the sale of Chrysler to Fiat, and Congress has decided to try to force Obama to force GM and Chrysler to keep dealerships open despite the fact that the car companies are shuttering entire automobile lines and the dealer networks are increasingly unpopular. You know what the dealers do have? Lots and lots and lots of money to lobby Congress, since they're not bankrupt. [The Hill]

[Tehran, June 8. Image via Getty]

Iranian girls, their faces painted in the colours of the national flag, flash the v-sign of victory during an electoral campaign rally in support of incumbent President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (portrait) in Tehran on June 8, 2009. Iran expects a record number of voters to cast their ballots in this week's presidential election, according to the head of the country's electoral committee. Four candidates are in the race for the presidency, including Ahmadinejad, who is seeking a second four-year term. AFP PHOTO/ATTA KENARE (Photo credit should read ATTA KENARE/AFP/Getty Images)

A week after Saberi returned to the U.S. following her 100-day imprisonment, she and her parents met with Clinton at the State Department. At a conference in the Netherlands in March, Clinton broke with the usual diplomatic isolation of Iran and passed a letter supporting Saberi's release directly to the country's delegation.

Yesterday, Clinton told reporters:

This was a matter of great concern to our country, certainly to the Obama administration, to me personally, not only as secretary of state, but as a mother. My heart went out to Roxana and to her parents every single day.

Saberi thanked Clinton, President Obama, and the American people and others around the world for lobbying for her freedom. She said:

When I found out that I had the support while I was in prison, I gained a lot of strength and hope, and I didn't feel so alone anymore. It's wonderful to be back in the United States. I'm very proud to be an American, just as I'm proud of my Japanese and Iranian heritage. It's wonderful to be back.

The 32-year-old journalist had been living in Iran since 2003, but was convicted of spying for the U.S. and sentenced to eight years in prison following her arrest in January. Earlier this month, an Iranian appeals court reduced her sentence to a two-year jail term suspended for five years on grounds that she couldn't be punished for cooperating with a hostile nation since the U.S. and Iran are not at war, according to The New York Times.

In the Press TV account of Saberi and Clinton's meeting, the state-run news agency noted that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad also wrote a letter to judiciary officials asking for a fair trial. The articles stated that Saberi "had confessed that she had been engaged in acts of espionage by gaining access to classified documents," but still hasn't thanked the Iranian officials who released her.

Clinton Celebrates Journalist's Release From Iran [CNN]
Saberi Thanks Clinton For Support [The New York Times]
Saberi Thanks Clinton For Pressuring Iran [Press TV]

[Tehran, May 26. Image via Getty]

Iranian women walk past portraits Mehdi Karroubi, the reformist former parliament speaker running in the June presidential elections, in downtown Tehran on May 26, 2009. The name of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is sprayed in black Farsi letters on the posters. In the Islamic republic's upcoming presidential elections, Ahmadinejad faces a challenge from former premier Mir Hossein Mousavi, ex-parliament speaker Mehdi Karroubi and former Revolutionary Guards head Mohsen Rezai. AFP PHOTO/BEHROUZ MEHRI (Photo credit should read BEHROUZ MEHRI/AFP/Getty Images)

Saberi was sentenced to eight years in prison after a one-day trial behind closed doors on April 18, according to the Associated Press. She was held in late January for buying a bottle of wine, then arrested for reporting without press credentials. Later she was charged with espionage.

Saberi's parents were allowed to visit her in Tehran's Evin prison yesterday for her 32nd birthday. ''Roxana is very weak and pale," said her father, Reza Saberi, ''She is only drinking sweetened water to remain alive.''

Saberi, a dual Iranian-American citizen, was born in the U.S. The former Miss North Dakota attended Northwestern University and moved to Iran six years ago, where she freelanced for National Public Radio and the BBC. Iranian officials revoked her press credentials in 2006, but NPR says she continued to file short news items. She was also working on a book about Iranian culture.

After her detention, U.S. officials immediately demanded Saberi's release, and her case has been a source of tension between the U.S. and Iran as President Obama attempts to ease relations with Iran. CNN reports that last weekend President Obama said he is, "gravely concerned with her safety and well-being," adding, "she is an American citizen, and I have complete confidence that she was not engaging in any sort of espionage." During an interview last week, ABC News' George Stephanopoulos asked President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad if he would accept President Obama's word and release Saberi as a goodwill gesture. Ahmadinejad said, "Let's see if our judiciary allows for that, sure. But if they do not allow for that, no. I am afraid not." Saberi's lawyer appealed her case on Saturday and a spokesmen said Iran's appeals court would reconsider her verdict.

Many people are campaigning for the Iranian court to commute her sentence. The Obama administration said it is working with Swiss intermediaries in Iran to secure her release and Jesse Jackson has offered to "travel with a delegation to Iran, if we are permitted, and make an appeal for her freedom," says CNN. Iranian filmmaker Bahman Ghobadi has also released a letter claiming that he and Saberi were engaged; in the letter, reprinted in Time, he says that she wanted to leave Iran, but he convinced Saberi to stay until he finished his film. He wrote:

It is with tears in my eyes that I say she is innocent and guiltless. It is me, who has known her for years, and shared every moment with her, who declares it. She was always busy reading and doing her research. Nothing else ...

And now my heart is full of sorrow. Because it is me who incited her to stay here. And now I can't do anything for her. Roxana wanted to leave Iran. I kept her from it.

Father Says U.S. Journalist Jailed In Iran "Very Weak" [The Associated Press]
Jesse Jackson Offers To Go To Iran To Help Free Journalist [CNN]
George's Bottom Line: Journey To Tehran [ABC News]
Roxana Update: Letter From her Friend [Time]

MEGAN: Good morning! Did you hear? Apparently Spain's President Zapatero is nearly as bad as Hugo Chavez or Fidel Castro. And Spain's apparently in Latin America.

JASON: I heard about that. Very maverick. But you must indulge me a brief veer off topic.

MEGAN: Okay, but first Russia and now Spain? Whatever happened to attacking Grenada?

JASON: Kenley? From Project Runway? You are just the FUCKING WORST EVER IN LIFE. You are an awful, undermining, leprous, personality-crippled knee biter whose every utterance causes me pain - like white hot needles. OH DEAR GOD BUT YOU ARE AWFUL KENLEY. AWFUL! I see that in the next episode, Tim Gunn tells you to lose the "sarcasm and the facetiousness," but what's left, Kenley? What's left? A thin puddle of oozing, malodorous pus with a tweaker's take on the 1950s? I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU LIKE I HATE FELINE LEUKEMIA.

Okay. So, now. Something about Spain?

MEGAN: Dodai's post on Project Runway will be up soon!!
Anyway, apparently, we're contemplating war with Spain, too. I guess once we're done bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bombing Iran.

JASON: Well, okay. Spain. Yes. McCain, he is Los Rebelde Original! Now he either HATES Spain or thinks they are part of Latin America or hears "Jose Zapatero" and thinks "Zapatista" or something. It's terrible. I don't hate Spain. I've never been there, but it's not because I hate Spain. As soon as the Spanish master crushed ice, I am going. Provided we are not BOMB BOMB BOMB LA BAMBAING them.

MEGAN: They put ice in sangria, just not Coke. It was a nice country. But, Iran, well, that's another story.

JASON: Well, that's a relief. Isn't Sangria banned in DC?

MEGAN: No! I have a friend who actually dug into this! In Virginia, the liquor distributors got a law passed that restaurants couldn't make sangria in advance (i.e., sell it by the glass) if it contained liquor and wine, and once it went into effect everyone pitched a fit so it's either been repealed or is about to be. Yes, I have friends enough into sangria that we looked up the legislative history when Jaleo was all "we can't sell it by the glass anymore."

Sarah Palin believes that Hillary Clinton should put aside partisanship and appear on stage with her for the sake of eventually bombing Iran and not the optics of the two of them on stage together.

JASON: Oh, well, Sarah Palin is going to reap the goddamned whirlwind if she keeps that shit up. She wants to wake up in bed with some animal that's been field-dressed by Harold Ickes? I sure would not. Speaking of, I love how they're making a big deal about Palin "going to the U.N." when she's apparently going to just be yelling at Ahmadinejad from the safety of Rudy Giuliani's cosmopolitan playground. She's going to CLARIFY her position on Iran? OOOOH. That's SURE to be REALLY interesting. For a woman who's touted as Alaska's Greatest Moosehunter, she seems to do a lot of shooting fish in a barrel.

Anyway, they should just send Amy Poehler. That way there would at least be one person there not offering a pale imitation of a stateswoman. And HRC can assiduously continue to not degrade her brand by equating it with Palin's.

MEGAN: Welll, but she'll meet other world leaders that also want to yell at A'jad. And then, as he exits, their eyes will meet across the plaza, the music will swell, the yelling people will seem to quiet around them. Time will stop as their love blossoms, Jason. It'll be a new era in America's policy toward Iran, one filled with musical montages, Central Park carriage rides and hot, sweaty sex between two uptight brunettes. And Hillary Clinton, with nearly as sensitive a gag reflex as my own (just ask Bill and that one ex-boyfriend of mine), needs not to hurl on camera, so she's opting to miss it.

JASON: Naturally, some of the Jewish organizations are seeking to have the invitation to Palin rescinded:

The National Jewish Democratic Council called late today for Palin's invitation to be lifted as well. "Monday's protest against Ahmadinejad is too important to be tainted by partisanship," Marc R. Stanley, the council's chairman, said in a statement. "Unfortunately, the campaign of Senator John McCain is much more interested in scoring political points than insuring there is bipartisan solidarity around the anti- Ahmadinejad efforts.

"Therefore, we call upon the Conference of Presidents of Major Jewish Organizations to withdraw the invitation to Governor Sarah Palin and we applaud Senator Hillary Clinton's decision to not attend the rally after the attendance of Palin was announced."

MEGAN: It probably doesn't help that the Republican Jewish Coalition is running anti-Obama push polls.

JASON: And that's what happens when your convention speech includes a drop in, quoting Westbrook Pegler.

MEGAN: Oh, well, sure. But Palin's a Republican. Quoting notorious anti-Semites who also advocated for the assassination of RFK is cool as long as you're deeply committed to hating Iran and the Palestinians and whomever else we're supposed to hate. It's such a long list, I keep forgetting it all.

JASON: Half the country is on that list!

MEGAN: And like most of the rest of the world, it seems.
Anyway, so, someone hacked Palin's email. Yawn.

JASON: Yes. I saw that. Sort of couldn't avoid that!

MEGAN: Oh, wait, it proves that — as she's all but admitted to — she uses her personal e-mail for business. Great. Well, now that it's been hacked, both accounts are wiped from the servers and can't be retrieved. Way to go hackers! I know this because my Yahoo account got hacked a few months back and the guy erased my entire inbox and Yahoo was like, well, it's gone. Sorry.

JASON: Yeah. Naturally, there doesn't seem to have been anything INTERESTING in her inbox. Pictures of her family. Some phone numbers. Someone wrote her an email telling her that God was awesome.

MEGAN: God is pretty awesome, She and I totally get beer together sometimes and bitch about men. She apologizes for fucking that up a little, but free will seemed like a good idea at the time.

JASON: Real game-changing stuff! But Gawker got it, and the pageviews that come along with it. So, that will all be a part of one Nick's "SUCK IT ALEX AND CHOIRE, LOOK AT MY TOTALLY AWESOME SITEVIEWS" posts.

MEGAN: Which I read with rapt attention and think are incredibly genius. You know that.
[Tries to distract Jason with shiny things] Hey, look, Palin's the CEO of Alaska!

JASON: I view myself as the CEO of my junk.

Oh. I am petitioning Arlington County High Schools to get Nick's posts entered into the AP English curriculum. Honestly, they are an improvement over TESS OF THE D'URBERVILLES.

MEGAN: I mean, though, what isn't an improvement over Tess? It's not Hardy's best work. There's no metaphorical emasculation through inadvertent castration. (Yes, I've read a lot of Thomas Hardy. Who can identify that book and impress me?)

JASON: See. That's what Nick provides! Metaphorical emasculation!
Speaking of Fiorina, Sam Stein told me yesterday, upon his return from seeing Our Lady Of The Elite Elitism Haterz, that she used Fiorina's "captive to choice" line. Or whatever it was. The Democratic Party holds women captive on abortion? That one? That beautiful marriage of corporate PR and gender subjugation?

MEGAN: I know, except she called it a noose!

JASON: A noose? Nice.

MEGAN: But, you know, not around African-American women, of which she presumably knows many. Lynn Forester de Rothschild totally has black friends.

JASON: Oh. The Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild is straight gangsta. The Lady Lynn will take up the cause of ensuring women that they know they shouldn't be captive to the idea that they are more than a sack of meat to jack sperm into.

MEGAN: The tyranny of choice shall not ruin this great nation! Lynn, please come save me from my right to have an abortion if I get pregnant from a sexual assault, and stroke my hair at the hospital and tell me how good it feels that we didn't elect an elitist. And maybe could you help pay for my rape kit? 'Cause I'm gonna need the help once John McCain makes my health insurance unaffordable and Palin charges me for it.

Oh, God, Karl Rove speaks! He doesn't think everyone will love Palin forever, but someone forgot to let him know that the new talking point is not to call Obama a first-term Senator less they remind people that he's been in office in the Senate longer than she's been a governor.

JASON: I think Rove is late to the party with that revelation. But back to Fiorina, she's not only making sure women are held captive to choice, she made sure that American consumers weren't held captive to only being able to by quality computers, by ensuring them that they'd have the choice to buy Hewlett-Packards. Which are like a motherboard shoved inside a cows ass.

MEGAN: Wait, didn't Carly nearly ensure that no one had a choice to buy HPs, what with almost driving the country into the ground?

JASON: Yes. I didn't say Carly was GOOD at her job! Only that she got a shit ton of money to leave it. Yesterday, when I heard that McCain was going to make her disappear, I wondered if she was expecting another $21 million severance package.

MEGAN: Not even Karl Rove gets that much, and he doesn't suck at his job.

JASON: I'm not sure how this relates, but you want to know what the Sarah Palin baby name generator gave me for my name?

MEGAN: What?

JASON: Taupe Armageddon. So, what can I say. This Sarah Palin thing hasn't been ALL bad.

MEGAN: I think I might beat that: I am "Tangle Jig Palin."

JASON: OMG. We have the best Sarah Palin names ever.

MEGAN: My Sarah Palin child alter-ego should totally go hunting and drink beer with your Sarah Palin child alter-ego.

JASON: "Tangle Jig Palin" sounds like some sort of hallucinogenic tea!

MEGAN: Which we should drink deeply of while riding in an airplane shooting at wolves!

JASON: We will drink Sangria with Jose Zapatero! And visit Hillary Clinton in New York.

MEGAN: Who will totally be our mom's new BFF if only that mean Obama man will stop trying to come between them because they both totes know what sexism is like.

• Hillary suffered a coughing fit in South Dakota today and might give up altogether tomorrow. I have been suffering coughing fits all weekend and I haven't even managed to give up smoking, so I'm not placing any bets, but apparently there's a deal in the works for the Obama campaign to Bernanke her Bear Stearns. [Huff Po]
• Speaking! Krugman defends Bernanke on the grounds that there are no unions in America sending inflation spiraling of control with their wage demands like there were in the seventies. But hello Paul, you know what the Chinese were making in the seventies? [NYT]
• Also, I bet Americans had slightly less than a trillion dollars in credit card debt in the seventies. [WSJ]
• Stuff we did have in the seventies besides unions: regulations and trade barriers. Without those things to eradicate economic growth may be so hard to achieve that Barack Obama can call himself the "growth candidate" with his proposals to focus on preschool. [Wash Post]

• Ahmadinejad said something about how Jesus will come back and kill all the Jews this time. [Breitbart]
• Sadr City: 110 degrees, lacking potable water or a decent sewage system, but — your boss will be so stoked! — there's totally decent BlackBerry service! [WSJ]
• "I used to watch this mooncalf blunder his way through press conferences and think, Exactly where do we find such men? For the job of swabbing out the White House stables, yes. But for any task involving the weighing of words?" Hitch suggests you forego Scott McClellan's tell-all in favor of Doug Feith's epic defense of Don Rumsfeld, on account of a bunch of bullshit retorts to straw arguments no one seriously makes — "that there was no consideration given to postwar planning," for instance; oh please — and also, Feith's superior prose style. Natch. [Slate]
• Can "parenting classes" save the next generation of inbred underage incest victims from the clutches of Fundamentalist Mormon mind control? Well… [AP]
• Ted Kennedy's brain surgery was successful. Now comes the fun part: radiation and chemo. Good luck.[WSJ]
• Matt Drudge as microcosm for the nation's ideological shift. [Politico]
• Henry Louis Gates talks to James Watson and finds him to not be a racist but a "racialist"; Gates explores his own love-hate relationship with DNA; generally depressing story reveals James Watson has a low IQ. [TheRoot]

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