Okay ladies, I have news for you. If the best way you have to communicate romantic interest with your current boyfriend is by yanking out his wang when he least expects it and then flapping it all over your face, you need to rethink the relatuionship, because your current boyfriend is either dead, gay or a dead gay*.
*The last applicable chiefly to the cast of "Twilight."
I read this post as I was inflating a stability ball with a hand pump. it occurs to me that it's only a matter of time before Cosmo does a feature on how you can improve your handjob skills by inflating exercise balls. let me tell you, I've learned to use the big muscles before engaging the small muscles. I'll let you know how it goes next time this pumping technique is needed. #cosmodecember09coverlies
Heh, that weirdness/twitchiness always has come out in his performances, and before his resurgence I really just chalked it up to the drugs.
However: It's actually him! I think I love it.
I also wonder if that's sorta one of the reasons FOR the drugs, like so many unique personalities - that "I am not normal, I can not be normal. I will take drugs that help me forget that I am not normal." The way he talks about his past does seem to suggest he wanted to get away from himself.
I love these articles. They're always good for a good belly laugh. Men are talked about like we're some sort of monolithic block. Like we all like the same things done by the same kind of women. What complete and utter bullshit. #cosmodecember09coverlies
@Misiula: Exactly. These magazines put forward a simplistic image of the opposite sex because it makes their jobs easier. Otherwise they'd have to write articles with depth and thought. That's way too much to ask. #cosmodecember09coverlies
@token_illiterate_commenter: my favorite part of all of this is that at cosmo it's women just randomly making shit up about what they think guys like (he'll go crazy when you nibble him during fellatio!), and at men's health it's a bunch of guys making shit up about what women want (ram her hard!). #cosmodecember09coverlies
@token_illiterate_commenter: Dude, you take this line of comment any further, and I'm afraid the next Manly-Man Meeting won't go very well for you. Always plenty of applicants queued up for an open space, you know. #cosmodecember09coverlies
@Kivrin: I feel enough drug use will addle the brain a tad. Some people it makes denser or unable to remember things and other it makes a little kooky. #robertdowneyjr
I think the 2 + 3=5 is akin to wherever you go, there you are. You know, You are the same no matter how famous or whatever. You are still you. #robertdowneyjr
@badmutha: I took it as all these great things add up to where he is in life, with the gratitude, so if he fucks up and ruins one of them he is going to be lesser. He is at 5 because of 2 and 3 so if he loses 3 he will just have 2. #robertdowneyjr
"I hit my stride later than most folks. A couple years ago, it really was a big old hip-hip-hooray and let's get somethin' shakin' here. Then pfffffff - it reorganized at this higher level…"
Actually, this I get. I'm not sure what that says about me.
But what is going on with the styling on the cover? Is the Bebbeh Esquie Editor jealous of teh hott, or something?
'Cause that's just all kind of wrong. It looks like they squashed my beautiful RDJ in a Lucite trapezoidal box, in an attempt to maim. #robertdowneyjr
@Elaken: I'm gonna pretend he was just doing another persona. Just for the sake of argument, like.
(Also, I don't want to dwell on it *too* much, but there is a sort of more "RDJ-flippeth-the-bird" ... um ... emphasis in the midst of all the frippery which makes me think he got the joke and also found a way to make the shot's composition more ... interesting. If you will.) #robertdowneyjr
Dude, every RDJ interview I've ever read is exactly like this. There was one in GQ a couple of years back that was almost identical except it was peppered with him yelling something like "Let's get pie" and jumping in his car and taking off. I think he works hard to cultivate the manic image.
Also, this quirky, manic persona is kind of the hallmark of interviews in men's magazines, right? I remember the one from a year or two ago with Clooney where he had a ladder out and was climbing into the interviewer's attic looking for squirrels or something. #robertdowneyjr
I think it would be hard to maintain eye contact if you are rubbing his member on all over your face. Methinks someone at Cosmo needs a lesson in human anatomy. #cosmodecember09coverlies
@funzette: I always figured most male acquaintances awkwardly hugged women in a poor attempt to feel them up. The more you know! :::rainbow::: #cosmodecember09coverlies
@funzette: Wow, when you describe these, they sound all weird and non-consenual! Rapey, even. It reminds me of how I often have to love on my cats, in a nonconsensual way--I call it "forceful love externally applied." #cosmodecember09coverlies
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*The last applicable chiefly to the cast of "Twilight."
11/10/09
Drink Your Way to Buns of Steel
Why Black is the New Black and Shoes Are the New Jesus
Yes, You Can Spend the Month's Rent on Two Items of Underwear!
Feeling Like a Fat Fucking Pig? New Fruit Drinks You'll Hate!
A Dirty Sanchez He'll Always Remember!
Liz Cheney Gets Down and Dirty
Your Uncle Totally Wanted You!
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However: It's actually him! I think I love it.
I also wonder if that's sorta one of the reasons FOR the drugs, like so many unique personalities - that "I am not normal, I can not be normal. I will take drugs that help me forget that I am not normal." The way he talks about his past does seem to suggest he wanted to get away from himself.
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Actually, this I get. I'm not sure what that says about me.
But what is going on with the styling on the cover? Is the Bebbeh Esquie Editor jealous of teh hott, or something?
'Cause that's just all kind of wrong. It looks like they squashed my beautiful RDJ in a Lucite trapezoidal box, in an attempt to maim. #robertdowneyjr
11/10/09
Even knowing it is him I STILL can't recognize him in that person they show on the cover. #robertdowneyjr
11/10/09
(Also, I don't want to dwell on it *too* much, but there is a sort of more "RDJ-flippeth-the-bird" ... um ... emphasis in the midst of all the frippery which makes me think he got the joke and also found a way to make the shot's composition more ... interesting. If you will.) #robertdowneyjr
11/10/09
Also, this quirky, manic persona is kind of the hallmark of interviews in men's magazines, right? I remember the one from a year or two ago with Clooney where he had a ladder out and was climbing into the interviewer's attic looking for squirrels or something. #robertdowneyjr
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This is what I see: #robertdowneyjr
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1. The Big Bear Hug: Sorry ladies, he prefers hairy barrel-shaped men!
2. The Side Arm Half Hug: To get this douche more often, douche more often - He's worried about germs down THERE
3. Spoon Hug: He's practicing for later tonight, when you make love in a new and exciting place: up the butt! #cosmodecember09coverlies
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