Jezebel: madonna's divorce

That Was Quick: Madonna Is Single Again

Dodai — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 09:00:00 EST

Madonna is divorced. A judge ruled on "Ciccone, M.L. v. Ritchie, G.S." today and the case was a "quickie," an uncontested divorce. Neither Madonna nor Guy Ritchie attended the hearing, which lasted barely a minute. Her Madgesty is single again! Think she'll get hitched to A-Rod? [Yahoo News]
Oh snap! Madonna just had drinks with her first ex-husband, Sean Penn. [Page Six]
A source says don't believe what you read about Guy being a gentleman and not taking a penny from Madge. He's getting a "huge pay day." [Perez Hilton]
Friends of Madonna's are not surprised that the divorce went through so quickly. "It’s not fair to Guy, to the kids, to drag it out for any reason," says a source. [MSNBC]
Ashlee Simpson gave birth to a baby boy last night, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Yeah, Bronx. And yeah: Mowgli. Urban Decay Jungle Book Wentz. [People]

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson have been "fighting like cats and dogs," says a source, and may be in couples therapy. Work it out, ladies! [Page Six]
Whoa, a kid almost died on the set of 30 Rock when an out-of-control taxi smashed into the street where the show was filming and everyone had to dive out of the way. [Page Six]
Shia LaBeouf's wrecked truck was on eBay, but barely anyone bid on it. [TMZ]
Michael Jackson has converted to Islam. His name is now Mikaeel. It might be so that he can legally wear a burka in court and no one can stare at his skin. [The Sun]
~~Michael Jackson~~ Mikaeel is due in court next week to defend claims that he owes Sheikh Abdullah $7 million. May Allah be with him! [Guardian]
Ooh, more soundbites from Britney's new documentary: "Do I know my life is weird? It's all I've ever known. I don't see it as being weird… I'm kind of stuck in this place and I'm like, How do you deal? I just cope with it every day… It's better not to feel anything at all and have hope than to feel the other way… It's bad. I'm sad." [She breaks down into tears.] [EW]
Britney on why she let "bad people" into her life: "Because I was lonely." [People]
Twilight star Robert Pattinson was asked, "What is all this talk about you not washing your hair for months on end?" He answered: "People are scared of my hair. But it starts washing itself after about three weeks. I'm just saying that. But, yeah, if it doesn't look dirty, why wash it?" Darling, it looks dirty. Get some Pantene Pro-V up in there. [USA Today]
America's Next Top Model winner McKey says: "I was freaking out at the second CoverGirl commercial. I almost had a nervous breakdown. They only show a little bit of it, but Christian was fixing my makeup and I was like, 'Christian, I'm freaking out right now. I might have a nervous breakdown. I haven't had a nervous breakdown in forever. I'm going crazy. Why am I here?'" Because you look like a model, maybe? [E!]
Leonardo DiCaprio attended a "preview screening" of a music video starring ex-girlfriend Gisele Bundchen because he's friends with the director, who is Kevin Connolly. Hollywood's a small town. [People]
Uh, are Leo and Kate Bosworth an item???? [Star]
Leo told this paper: "So much of my life has been spent on some far-off movie location and so little of it has been lived normally. I want to get married and have children." [Mirror]
Hollywood is a small town, take 2: Samuel L. Jackson, Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy, Reba McEntire, Sylvester Stallone, Magic Johnson and Barry Bonds are involved in the lawsuit between North and South Beverly Park homeowners. It's like the Sharks and the Jets! [LA Times]
Here's more on that turf war between the North and the South. [TMZ]
Apparently Brit TV host Jonathan Ross told Gwyneth Paltrow he "would fuck her" and the BBC has called that "gratuitous and unnecessarily offensive." Think so? [Guardian]
A critic says Baz Luhrmann made a "big, big mistake" in casting Nicole Kidman as proper English dame Lady Sarah Ashley in Australia: Melanie Reid says Kidman is "one of the most overrated actors" in the world and who has "been the kiss of death in practically every movie she has starred in." There's more! "Kidman is exquisitely accomplished at being awful," Reid writes. "She can't act. Instead she drifts around films like a lost porcelain doll, looking frozen, brittle and vapid, staring at the camera with her oh-golly-look-how-I'm-looking-interesting blue eyes." Ouch! [Sydney Morning Herald]
Ugh, someone asked Nicole Kidman if she was pregnant again. "No, I just have a little tummy," she said. "My god, I just had a baby four months ago – give me a break!" She added: "I think I've always had a little tummy, though, it runs in the family. My sister does, my mum does, my grandmother did… We affectionately refer to it as the 'little tummy.'" Fascinating. [People]
Glenn Close didn't get the part of Elvira in Scarface because she wasn't slutty enough? [Page Six]
Miley Cyrus let her boyfriend attend the casting for her new video, and a source says "Justin wanted to pick a guy that looked the most like him." WTF. [E!]
Apparently the clip of Justin Timberlake dancing with Beyoncé on SNL has been yanked from YouTube due to music clearance issues. Dammit. Not fierce, Sasha. Not fierce. [LA Times]
Angelina Jolie might not get nominated for an Oscar for her performance in Changeling, even though Ted Casablanca thinks she should. [E!]
Rihanna's new tattoo: "It's tribal," she says. She got it in New Zealand, and it's Maori-inspired. "It's their traditional way of tattooing. I always wanted [one]. It hurt like hell!" [People]
ABC has killed three shows: RIP Pushing Daisies, Eli Stone and Dirty Sexy Money. [EW]
Your friend Kanye West began his concert in Germany by having the crowd wait tow hours and then running on stage and shouting, "I really need some pussy tonight!" [The Sun]
Baby-wipes enthusiast Terrence Howard says all he's ever wanted to do is be all around the most beautiful women in the world. "I'm sorry I'm shallow like that, I'm a man." [Perez Hilton]
Lance Bass is glad Julianne Hough has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars: "She was the one I was scared of the most," he says. [People]
Is Julianne Hough retiring from DWTS? "I'm not gonna be back next season," she says. "I really, really want to focus on the music and, ya know, be taken seriously a little bit. And I think it’s hard to be on [the show] and be singing." [People]
Reese Witherspoon looks like a small town checkout girl on the cover of Parade. [Just Jared]
Reese told Parade: "Family is all we have in life, but I don't know how I feel about marriage. Obviously, I'm not far enough out of being married to think about doing it again." For some reason this prompted this paper to run the headline "I'm Not Ready To Marry Jake." [Daily Mail]
Heath Ledger's family issued a statement to say that a new book about the star contains "gross inaccuracies, false allegations and many incorrect and unsubstantiated comments." The unauthorized bio, written by a journalist, claims Ledger was mentally ill. [News.com.au]
The world is weird: Shaquille O'Neal is on Twitter. [Observer]
Holly Madison says she's wearing less makeup now and P. Hilton says she's lying through her fake teeth. [Perez Hilton]
Paris Hilton went out without Benji Madden and "looked distraught and completely lonesome." Sniff. [People]
As for Benji, he is not talking about the split. [E!]
Have you seen Rosie O'Donnell's video response to Barbara Walters? [Perez Hilton]
Fox's Roger Friedman says Rosie will get the last laugh, because her live variety show "should be an enormous hit." It's family-friendly and positive in its celebration of Broadway, New York, and the arts. Plus comedy is what Rosie excels at. [Fox 411]
Michael Phelps: The new spokesperson for Subway sandwiches. Do you want him on whole wheat? [Perez Hilton]
Is Michael Phelps off the market? He flew to Birmingham to see former Miss Alabama, Doree Walker, and they went to dinner and then to the zoo the next day. Roar. [MSNBC]
New Lost trailer! And Sawyer and Juliet are holding hands. For like a split second. [E!]
Josh Brolin, who plays Harvey Milk's assassin in Milk, says the story of Milk made him cry. [UPI]
If you can understand this kerfluffle surrounding Bianca Jagger's lost ring and bankruptcy and an Austrian building magnate named Reinhard Ringler, please explain. [Daily Express]
John Malkovich is making a documentary about the plight of migrant children who cross illegally into the U.S. It will be produced by Canana Films, a production company owned by Mexican actors Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal. [AP]
Christina Ricci, Rosie Perez and Arsenio Hall will voice characters in The Hero of Color City, an animated film about a group of crayons that band together to stop a tyrant from robbing their world of color. [Hollywood Reporter]
Katie "Jordan" Price in her underwear again, yawn. [Perez Hilton]
Did New Kids On The Block's Donnie Wahlberg out suspected gay Jonathan Knight? [Perez Hilton]
It's official: Jean Claude Van Damme hits on young female reporters. [23/6]
John Cleese, 69, is dating a 27-year-old named Barbie. [The Sun]
The headmistress of Oprah Winfrey's girls' school in South Africa, Nomvuyo Mzamane, has dropped her suit against The Huffington Post and a blogger she claimed falsely harmed her reputation. [Portƒolio]
When it comes to cash, Bruce Willis is a die hard, heh: He invested $2 million in a Malaysian technology company and then withdrew his cash; they still owe him $900,000 and he's filed a court complaint. [AP]
Former Senator Fred Thompson, who was on Law & Order and then tried running for president, is going back to acting. Anyone want to cast him? [AP]
Success has made Leona Lewis "really, really lonely." Sad face! [Mirror]
Linda Hogan was getting $40,000 a month in temporary alimony payments. Now she claims to be broke. She wants a court hearing to talk about getting more cash out of the Hulkster. [Perez Hilton]
TRL's Damien Fahey has a new job, now that his MTV show is dead: He'll be a special correspondent for Extra. [Page Six]
"That's debatable in Hollywood. There's the obvious answer: Angelina, for saving the planet with her adoptions and charity work." — Megan Fox, when asked who the Woman of the Year was. [E!]
"[Four Christmases] is not for your children. It's PG-13. But my family always went to movies on Christmas Day – The Godfather, The Elephant Man. Your typical cheerful holiday fare. It's fun to go to the movies at Christmas and nice to be part of a movie that at least grown-ups and teenagers can see. Plus it means a lot when I get to have experiences where I meet young people and they say, 'You know, this is the movie that got me through a hard time' or, 'This is the movie I watch with my family.'" [Independent]
"There are disco bands, rap bands, Yiddish folk song bands in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but not Kiss I believe we have more gold records in America than any other group, but it's OK." — Gene Simmons, bruised because his band's not in the Hall of Fame. [Reuters]
"That would be really exciting if that does happen. I hope it does. There has been some talk about it but I think it's in its very early days. But I'm practicing by dressing as a pirate every day - just in case!" — Russell Brand, on playing Captain Jack Sparrow's brother in the new Pirates Of The Caribbean flick. [Sydney Morning Herald]
"I did a photo shoot for her, and she suddenly took off her T-shirt to change into another and I was like, 'Damn!' She was so beautiful, elegant, classy and timeless, and there was something really exotic about it. Very few human beings have been that sexy and desirable. I wanted to say, 'You are sculpted by God.' I was like, wow." — Rosario Dawson on Iman. [Daily Express]
"Our new president is really a person who came from a place where they told him he couldn’t be something, in a country where no one ever thought that we would see a black president, but now that we have a black president we understand that black people, white people, Asian people, Native Americans, Latinos, no matter what color you are, we all are one. Whatever you want to be you can be in this world. You just have to put your mind to it." — Common, to elementary school students in Georgia. [Concrete Loop]
"I can drink most men under the table and be fine! And I get louder and giggly. Do I get more affectionate? Who doesn't?" — Sienna Miller. [Mirror]

Jennifer Garner Seeks Protection From Psycho Stalker

Dodai — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:00:00 EST

Jennifer Garner has obtained a court order protecting herself from a man she believes is endangering her family. She claims Steven Burky has been "stalking and harassing" her, sending "packages and letters containing delusional and paranoid thoughts and following me around the country." The guy showed up at her house and said, "God has sent me a vision of you being persecuted in some manner that may result in your death." Burky has a blog called Satanic Panic, on which he wrote: "Are multitudes of adults resorting to human sacrifices and then repressing this information from fear of Christ..." [TMZ]
Lindsay Lohan "sobbed in the street" after her fight with Samantha Ronson, and this report claims it was physical, with Sam "throwing punches" on the dancefloor when she saw LL dancing with her ex Calum Best. [The Sun]
Madonna and Guy Ritchie have reached an agreement regarding their divorce! Guy is refusing to take a single penny, and they'll share custody of the kids, except Lourdes, who will stay with her mom. [This Is London, Times of London]

Everyone loves picking out clothes for the new First Lady! The Michelle Obama Style Guide will come out in the Spring; former Mademoiselle and Shop Etc. editor Mandi Norwood is writing it. Norwood says: "Not since Jackie O have we had a first lady become a fashion icon. Michelle Obama will be one of history's most vibrant first ladies; she has a distinctive style that every American woman can aspire to, whether the consumer is a Target shopper or some one more likely to be found on Miracle Mile." [Page Six]
How does Angelina Jolie feel when people refer to her and Brad Pitt as "Brangelina"? "Honestly, I don't have a thought either way," she says. "Although on the set of Changeling, Clint Eastwood was calling us 'Clintelina'. I think that sounds funnier." Oh, and Angelina hasn't seen Brad's new movie, Benjamin Button yet. But she says, "Brad looks good ageing backwards. And no, I've not been on the set of Inglourious Basterds. This is a Tarantino film, so we're thinking, 'What's a good day to bring children on set?'" [Telegraph]
Winona Ryder had her stomach pumped at a hospital in London after a suspected accidental overdose on a British Airways flight. She has a fear of flying and may have taken too many Xanax pills — this report claims she "collapsed twice" in first class. (How do you collapse when you're in a first class seat on a plane?) In any case, she's been discharged from the hospital. [The Sun, Mirror, Telegraph]
Rosie O'Donnell says Barbara Walters wanted everyone on The View to act like they got along: "I'm not saying they loathe each other, but the fact of the matter is, there was not a lot of camaraderie off camera." Rosie also says her new show will not be like The View: "The job description here is to entertain. It will be an hour of fun, laughter, singing and dancing. No politics. No arguing. No talking about controversial things. That, to me, is what is needed now." [LA Times]
Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman showed up arm-in-arm to the GQ Men of the Year party, and held hands at the event and were spotted kissing, so it's looking like it's on. [Yahoo News]
Kelly Osbourne: Engaged! Boyfriend Luke Worrell asked Ozzy Osbourne for permission to propose, awww. And brave! [The Sun]
Brooke Shields says the world has got to save Lipstick Jungle. "NBC is now flooded with lipstick. Women are in uproar over this…they’ve tried to kill us before and we have refused to die." And writer Ilene Rosenzweig says: "There are no other female-driven dramas on television, and if this one goes, it will have been the last. But women are so sick of reality TV and want to have a place where they can turn for escapism and frivolity, but also to confront the real struggles that powerful women face in the workplace and at home." [Daily Beast]
It's official: Britney Spears did write a song for Adnan Ghalib, called "Mmm Papi," and the lyrics are: "You love it when I'm freaking out / Things get rough and there's no doubt / You will always be there for me." [Perez Hilton]
Okay, she didn't write the song for Adnan. It's just a song. [Perez Hilton]
Michael Jackson could be forced to fly to the High Court in London to testify in a case being brought against him by the King of Bahrain's son. [Telegraph]
Oh, wait: Michael Jackson is intending to go to court, his lawyers claim. [Yahoo News]
Jennifer Aniston watches Friends, and says "there are times when I laugh my rear end off." Nothing more amusing than watching yourself be amusing, huh? [MSNBC]
Why Forbes has an annual list of "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Tots" is a question to ponder, but know this: Suri Cruise is number one. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is in second place after coming in first last year; Zahara Jolie-Pitt, 3, is in third place; and Pax Jolie-Pitt, 4, is fourth on the list. [Breitbart]
Another Forbes list: Hollywood's Top-Earning Couples. "Jay-Z and his new bride, Beyoncé Knowles, collectively raked in $162 million between June 1, 2007 and June 1, 2008." [Forbes]
Paris Hilton and Benji Madden have broken up, you guys, but no one cheated on anyone: Vanessa Fontana from that BFF show says "Paris and Benji were loyal and faithful to each other. I love Paris, and I just want her to be happy. I think that they'll be better as friends." [Yahoo News via E!]
And yes, Paris was "all over" her ex, Stavros Niarchos, earlier this week. A source spills: "Benji didn't like it that she spent the evening with Stavros. He blew up and Paris felt victimized. He gave her a lot of grief about that. She felt she couldn't cut loose and party. He doesn't drink and doesn't think she should either. She felt too fenced in." [Star Magazine]
A different person says Paris and Stavros were just having a friendly conversation. "In no way are they romantic, nor do they want to get back together," the source says. [People]
Mark Hoppus from Blink 182 says the plane crash has him speaking to Travis Barker again, after the band's messy split in 2005. "We're just reconnecting as friends after four years of not talking," he says. "It's a good thing." [Reuters]
Additional info about the crash that injured Travis Barker here. The pilot of the jet warned air traffic controllers that his plane was "going off the end" before it crashed, killing him and 3 others. The cockpit recordings have been released. [CBS News]
You'll enjoy this: NeNe has written "5 Ways Real Housewives Of Atlanta has Changed My Life." She says: "I’m not surprised that Anderson Cooper is talking about me! Wouldn’t you talk about me? I’m not surprised. Anderson Cooper is gorgeous. He is THE silver fox, and I just wish he’d come over on this side of the street. And come over here and talk to me!" [People]
Fifty-eight year old Bill Murray was spotted having a fancy dinner in Chicago with 27-year-old Miss USA, Crystle Stewart. Nothing lost in translation there! [Perez Hilton]
Kevin Spacey is in a new flick called Men Who Stare At Goats. He plays a "psychic guru." George Clooney is in the film, too and, presumably, some goats. [io9]
Noted author Pamela Anderson has written an open letter to Barack Obama. She has suggestions! Free Leonard Peltier, castrate sex offenders, legalize marijuana, promote vegetarianism, stop animal testing, and bring the troops home safely! Now where's her cabinet position? [Perez Hilton]
Film students! James Franco wants to be in your movie. "I haven’t acted in any student films yet," he says. "You would think that more people would ask me to be in their movies, but they haven’t." Franco is studying directing at NYU. Please, guys. Cast him. [NY Mag]
Oh! James Franco's next role after Milk will be gay poet Allen Ginsberg in the movie Howl. Back-to-back gay roles "don't make any difference to me," Franco says. [Rush & Molloy]
Julia Stiles was in a play that required her to utter these words about her "first time in bed with a black man": "He came over to borrow a highlighter. Next thing I knew, my panties were off and I was sitting on his face." [NY Mag]
People are bidding £1 million for the house where David Beckham lived as a baby. Similar houses in the area were sold for £250,000. WTF. [Yahoo News]
Whoopi Goldberg shows Liz Smith her tattoos: She has two dragons and a little Woodstock. [WowoWow]
Tom Jones sang on the sidewalk in London to raise money for a cancer charity. He belted out "It's Not Unusual" and people did double takes; he performed four songs for the British Busking Challenge run by the BBC's Culture Show. [News.com.au]
Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are still engaged. And the wedding will be small, which means you're not invited. Sorry. [People]
Back in August, Jackson Browne sued John McCain for using his song, "Running On Empty." Now McCain says Browne complained so he could get press to promote his new album, which came out a month later. McCain also argues that he can use whatever song he wants, since he's running for office and not trying to make money off of the music. What will the court decide? [TMZ]
Michelle Hurd, who plays Eleanor Waldorf's assistant, Laurel, on Gossip Girl, says she bought her mom a vibrator for Christmas: "I actually got my mother the Rabbit last year," she says. "She was quite shocked and turned red instantly, but probably a month later she very quietly thanked me." [NY Mag]
Actor John Turturro has great things to say about Barack Obama: "I think it's very interesting that he wants to surround himself with people who are strong and good. That's what Lincoln did—he put his adversaries, people who were on the other side, into his cabinet." But! Turturro, born and raised in Brooklyn, doesn't mind if Hillary Clinton moves to Washington: "I don't consider Hillary Clinton a New Yorker. I consider her a Senator from New York, but I don't consider her a New Yorker. She is from Illinois. A lot of people in New York aren't from New York, but she hasn't been here long enough for me to consider her a New Yorker." [Observer]
Usher's mom maybe didn't pay her limo driver, boo. [TMZ]
Is Kirk Cameron — who says civil marriage is not susceptible to any change because it is ordained by God — one of the "American Taliban"? [The Atlantic]
Brit band Take That has a song inspired Amy Winehouse: Lyrics include, "All this noise and all these lights/All this talking through the night. All this expectation now it’s making me neurotic/ Tell me have I seen your face before? How did it come to this?/ How did it ever come to this?" [The Sun]
Homecoming time! James Van Der Beek went back to Wilmington, NC — working with some of his former Dawson's Creek crew — for a guest appearance on the CW's One Tree Hill. [AP]
Is anyone sorta tickled by the Bob Hope postage stamp? Thanks for the memories… [Yahoo News]
Ivanka Trump's writing her first book! A "motivational title for women of her generation" with personal experiences in life and business, and lessons learned from her father and other business luminaries. Look for it in fall 2009. [PW]
Adrien Brody was interviewed by gay magazine The Advocate, but refused to answer the silly questions asked of him, explaining that he is a "serious person." [Perez Hilton]
Mischa Barton's official web site is live. Not that you care. [Socialite Life]
Rita Wilson tried to buy a Beatles poster for her husband, Tom Hanks, but the seller couldn't provide a certificate of authenticity. Wilson declined to make the purchase and the seller "became belligerent" and now the mess is in court. Can't buy me love? [TMZ]
Rod Stewart's son Sean is being sued by his personal trainer. Pay your bills! [TMZ]
Four words: Monty Python YouTube Channel! [Telegraph]
Mel Gibson's marriage is not on the rocks, even though there's "a dark-haired beauty named Oksana" who hangs around his movie set and "no one is quite sure what her role is." [Rush & Molloy]
"She packs for me with beautiful notes in my luggage that I discover. She's always doing sweet things." — Seal on Heidi Klum. [People]
"I like writing songs about boys and relationships. And when someone breaks up with me, I like to write about it, because I feel like I have the last word. That's the fun part. I have no issue with naming names. My personal goal is for my songs to be so detailed that the guy the song is written about knows it's about him." — Taylor Swift. [Rolling Stone]
"She's a technically amazing singer, obviously — if she wasn't a star, she could always make a living with that voice, because it's like an instrument. But it's also such an original voice — as soon as you hear it on any track, you know exactly who it is. A great singer is somebody who makes you believe what they're saying, and you always believe what Annie is telling you… I also have to be superficial for a moment and point out that she is this unbelievably hot chick — and she has stayed hot to this day." — Rob Thomas on Annie Lennox. [Rolling Stone]
"Well there's no doubt that election night was a bittersweet night. But in some ways, these kinds of setbacks allow for a bigger fight, more challenges, and eventually we're going to get it right. Eventually the American public will figure out that it really isn't right to deny citizens basic civil human rights. And we can no longer allow that to happen." — Kevin Spacey on Prop 8. [HuffPo]
"Travelling with the family is fun… The other day, when we flew from LA to Germany, all of us had terrible jet lag. The children kept waking up, so we all got up, turned on the TV, made snacks, and were up until 4am. We laughed our heads off - the kids are some of the funniest people Brad and I have ever met. So more [children] sounds like a great idea, as much as it's hard work. It's just worth it." — Angelina Jolie. [Telegraph]
"This is nothing new for me. When I got married, it was an act of civil disobedience as much as it was a love story. There is not any person in the country who doesn’t know I’m for gay marriage. I'm not vocal enough? I got married before anyone else did. I’ve been living it and living it for a very long time." — Rosie O'Donnell, to critics who question why she's been "absent" from the uproar over Prop 8. [LA Times]