Jezebel 
Enter your username and password.
New York, 11:50 AM
Wed Nov 11
71 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
tips@jezebel.com
Editor-in-Chief:
Anna Holmes
Email | Twitter
Deputy Editor:
Dodai Stewart
Email | Twitter
Senior Contributing Editor:
Tracie Egan
Email | Twitter
Contributing Editors:
Anna North
Email | Twitter
Sadie Stein
Email | Twitter
Reporter:
Irin Carmon
Email
Editorial Assistant:
Margaret Hartmann
Email | Twitter
Contributors:
Jenna Sauers
Email
Rich Juzwiak
Email | Twitter
Lizzie Skurnick
Email
Interns:
Katy Kelleher
Twitter
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
07/04/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
At first , she appears cross-eyed when discussing her role as the teapot from Beauty and the Beast. "I see a lot of myself in her," she says, "she was a woman faced with many challenges. She also had a vagina, i assume, which is another thing we share. That's just so uncanny to me. I mean, it's really a role I was born to play."
But the Oscar buzz surrounding The Untold Story of the Teapot and the Candlestick isn't nearly as strong as the buzz surrounding her latest fling with Mr. Belvedere--who plays the Candlestick in the film. I try to get her to say anything about Mr. Belvedere, even something like, "I don't want to talk about it," so I can justify putting "We ask Courtney all about her steamy relationship with MR. Belvedere!!!" on the cover of the magazine, which I'm going to do anyway, because it's the only reason anyone will even bother buying this fluff piece, probably, because I mean, really, how many times can you sit down and read about Courtney eating a meal and talking about playing a type of role as if it's the most fascinating thing you've ever heard? She eats (kind of) and she acts! She eats, and she does her job! Celebrities! They're just like us!!! It doesn't matter that Mr. Belvedere is just as boring in interviews: together, they will sell magazines!
"Where do you see yourself in ten years," I ask her, as she stares nodded off out the window, pushing her stringy hair behind her ears, displaying her pill shaped TJ Maxx designer earrings. "You'll have to wait and see," she slurs, before getting up and heading out the door. And just as stumbling drunk as she came into my life, she is gone, off to her next Doctor appointment, to play the role she is perhaps best suited to play: herself.
07/03/09
07/03/09
The Kidd, the Kidd.
Is this where we say "Jason, read The Rules. Don't talk so much. Just sit there and look pretty."
07/03/09
Ahem.
AAAAAAAAAA-RROOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD...">AAAAAAAAAA-RROOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD......
!!!!!!!!6-4, 4-6, 7-6, 7-6.
UUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...!!!
Congratulations to Andy Murray for a brilliant semifinal.
AAAAAAAAAA-RROOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD...">AAAAAAAAAA-RROOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD......!!!!!!!!
*sits down*
*passes out*
07/03/09
07/03/09
At first, she appeared sort of hulking and ungainly when discussing her role as a Jezebel commenter. "I see a lot of myself in basically derailing threads with self-aggrandizement and tired jokes," she says, "I am a woman faced with many followers. Also, bacon."
But the buzz surrounding her frequently offtopic and cliched Jezebel appearances isn't nearly as strong as the buzz she's getting from that carton of pinot grigio. Seriously, the stuff comes in these great little tetra-pack style things, I think Tracie did an article about them? I dunno, it's the only reason I'm mentioning it so much, probably, because really, how many times can I sit down and talk about EXACTLY WHAT I AM EATING AND DRINKING like I'm some sort of interesting thing, when really my schtick was sort of tired after that lame old April Fool's day so long ago? I eat and I act incorrigible! I eat, and I do my job sometimes! Celebrities! They're just like me! Together, we will sell Zac Efron's likeness on pancakes!
"Where do you see yourself in ten years?" I ask her, as she stares blankly into another browser window, pushing her hair behind her giant ears, which are as studded with holes as any self-respecting cheese should be. "You'll have to bish and plz," Tscheese smirks, before getting up and trudging out the door. And just as irritatingly as she came into my life, she is gone, off to her next comment and/or disemvowelment, which might be this one. To play the role she is perhaps best suited to play: AN INTERESTING COMMENTER FOR ONCE.
See? You guys! It works for non-celebs too!
07/03/09
*dies*
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
At first , she appears to be stealing my wallet when discussing her role as Audrey Hepburn. "I see a lot of myself in her," she says, "she was a woman faced with many challenges. She also had a vagina, which is another thing we share. That's just so rage inducing to me. I mean, it's really a role I was born to play."
But the Oscar buzz surrounding "Really Funny Face, Not in a Cute Way Either" isn't nearly as strong as the buzz surrounding her latest fling with All His Teeth Sammy the Silken Sheik of Track Fourteen. I try to get her to say anything about this actor, even something like, "I don't want to talk about it," so I can justify putting "We ask Slippery Annie aka Bilge Water Bessie aka Dr. Arron Berger all about her steamy relationship with All His Teeth Sammy the Silken Sheik of Track Fourteen!!!" on the cover of the magazine, which I'm going to do anyway, because it's the only reason anyone will even bother buying this fluff piece, probably, because I mean, really, how many times can you sit down and read about Slippery Annie aka Patched Pants Princess Finery aka Hobo FunnyName eating a bowl of eyelashes and talking about playing a three inch tall cannibal version of an icon of the silver screen that came to the director during a fever dream in a jungle whorehouse staffed by entirely by silver backed apes as if it's the most fascinating thing you've ever heard? She eats and she acts! She eats, and she does her job! Celebrities! They're just like us!!! It doesn't matter that The Silken Sheik is just as boring in interviews: together, they will sell magazines!
"Where do you see yourself in ten years," I ask her, as she stares adverb out the window, pushing her stolen hair behind her disembodied ears, displaying her bloodied human knuckle bone earrings. "You'll have to wait and see," she smiles, before getting up and heading out the door. And just as eye gougingly as she came into my life, she is gone, off to her next Girl Scout Meeting, to play the role she is perhaps best suited to play: herself
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
"We want to give 110% on the pitch" (pre match)
"They are a tough rival, we want to keep our fans happy" (pre match, with preemptive undertones)
"The team didn't find its game, and they found theirs" (post defeat)
"We played to win, and that's what we did" (post victory)
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
@emilyanne: Younger players have to please the bosses and fans, terrible combination.
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
07/03/09
I love Robert Downey Jnr for saying during the Oscars that he googled himself all the time and loved reading what people said about him, particularly the bad comments because when he felt like saying 'no I'm not like that' he'd then think 'actually hang on I am actually a bit of a jerk'.
07/03/09
He also said he liked being in big-budget pictures better than smaller films, because the crew tended to know what they were doing and the effects were better. Ha.
07/03/09
I love the Downey - have you seen the trailer for Guy Ritchie's new Sherlock Holmes, it looks like the single silliest film ever, I can't wait.
07/03/09
07/03/09
Anybody here read Jancee Dunn's memoir about being a writer for Rolling Stone? She covers a lot of these interview cliches, like trying to avoid the resturaunt setting or what to say to jaded rock bands to get an answer out of them or how not to sound like a synchophantic fan.
Lolita Hazed: I agree on the egg-white omelet cliche. What is it with that? Or it's some kind of egg-white spinach frittata or some sort of salad.
07/03/09