At downtown boutique Opening Ceremony, the line stretched down the block. The promised customized cars, out of which designers like Rodarte (a low rider convertible) and Alex Wang (a black van) were to sell their wares were just a row of cars parked cheek by jowl on the side of the narrow street; the real action was in the store, and the entire population of Williamsburg appeared ready to wait upwards of an hour to see it. I texted a friend who works at the store — no response — then screwed up my courage to go talk to the burly security guard at the door. "I'm a reporter," I said, plaintively. "I'm here to write about this!" He looked at me skeptically. I repeated this claim to a small woman in a large fascinator and a complicated dress, who eventually waved me in.

New Fashion Rule: If you cannot spell "Azzedine Alaïa", you should not be permitted to sell his shorts for $60.

I'd had a weird day at the tents — at one point I was standing next to four people deadpanning conversation, all wearing sunglasses inside — so I called that affable Marxist/skewerer of frivolity/drinker, former Jezebel editor Moe Tkacik. My partner in crime for the night eventually made it into the store, and we were served big cans of Asahi by a smiling bartender in a skintight waistcoat. We looked at the people. We looked at the wares — knits covered in rickrack, jewelry that looked like animal claws — and watched as people lined up to buy Fashion's Night Out t-shirts. We drank our beers and watched the crowd. Later, we made our way to Rag & Bone, the pricey vintage store What Goes Around Comes Around, and a multi-designer sample sale at the TriBeCa Grand hotel. Sadie, on the whole a more dedicated shopper, checked out Opening Ceremony, Prada, Intermix, Banana Republic, Oak, Club Monaco, Madewell (she likes their boots!) and a couple of boutiques.

Jenna: So! I was just writing about the scene at Opening Ceremony. What did you think of Opening Ceremony? How long was the line when you got there?
Sadie: The line was nuts - all the way down the block, and it didn't seem to be progressing at all.
Jenna: I shamelessly blagged my way in as press.
Sadie: The whole vibe was unpleasantly "hot club" — down to the letdown of getting in.
Jenna: Yes! All it needed was a velvet rope. The bouncers, the clipboard dragons. The boomboom music. It was just like a club, except inside it was brightly lit. And, you know, except that the Beatrice never tolerated anything so unseemly as an actual line outside.
Sadie: Well, Banana Republic actually had a 3" velvet rope!
Jenna: Wow. Tell me about that — I didn't go there.
Sadie: Ha, that was the best: they had the rope, and this poor woman in an evening gown wielding a fan — but then inside it was...Banana Republic. Open late, it's true! Did you get to Intermix?
Jenna: No, I missed it. I went to Rag & Bone to see my friend who works there, except the FNO iPhone app sent me to the Christopher St. store. And my friend works at SoHo. Thanks, Style.com!
Sadie: Oh, dear. How was R&B otherwise? Hipstered out?
Jenna: Actually, it had a very pleasant down-home kind of feel. I rendez-vous'd there with some friends who had just come from the gallery openings in Chelsea, and one of them lives in Japan. He kept on comparing the store's aesthetic to Japanese clothing, which I can actually totally see.
Sadie: Oh, definitely. Were folks shopping?
Jenna: You know, that classic pieces reworked and finessed, done with an eye for design, but subtle, kinda thing. But it was strange at the same time, because the store was made over as an Irish pub.
No, I saw very few shoppers.
But they had a fiddle band! And honeyed whiskey. And Guinness, from an actual keggerator. (I think.)

Sadie: Ooh, nice!
Jenna: Moe and I got to talking about keggerators, because she used to live in a house that had one.
Sadie: I got insufficient drinks, considering.
Jenna: (Dude room-mates, of course.) Rag & Bone also had this neat gravity-fed whiskey autodispenser. Very technological.
Sadie: Ha! Now: what did you wear?!
Jenna: Important question, which I spent a long time thinking about before leaving the house. I wore: a green 1940s bouclé jacket with balloon sleeves and a nipped waist. It has a totally shattered lining — which meant I got it cheap — but the greatest part is it's got an awesome collar. It's self fabric on one side, and rabbit fur (I think?) on the other. And you can either let the collar fall open across your shoulders, and it looks like these awesome, structured, furry shoulderpads on the outside of your jacket. Or you can tie the collar up tighter and it forms a big muffler around your face. It came in handy because it was so cold last night! I wore it with jeans and comfortable shoes. What did YOU wear? :P
Sadie: Well, I changed from my actual work clothes into a fake business costume, trying to convey that "coming-from-a-cool-office" vibe. I wore this swell pair of very high-waisted pleated plaid trousers, apparently the former possession of an elderly society matron, now in a nursing home. They are about 40% ridiculous. With them, a plain blouse and some very high vintage heels. Oh, and I cut myself a possibly ill-judged ragged bang just before running out the door.
Jenna: Oooh, last-minute haircut. I like that. I trimmed my own hair myself the other day because it was getting shaggy in back — I'm trying to turn my pixie into a messy bob, Karen Elson c.a. 1997 kind of thing. Naturally, I thought of your post and all kinds of disastrous self-inflicted haircuts of years past.
Sadie: Yes, but the temptation always proves irresistible! Did you see any really noteworthy looks? (Besides those dudes voguing wildly in the window of Opening Ceremony.)
Jenna: I saw two great looks, actually: I dragged Moe, Japan-man, this German guy, and everyone else I was with to What Goes Around Comes Around, where they were almost out of booze but had amazing black and white cookies. And this shopgirl had on the perfect pair of jean shorts, not cut-offs but actual high-waisted vintage shorts, and a really simple silk printed blouse. And cowboy boots. It was very straightforward but the pieces looked fantastic together, and she looked comfortable, especially for someone who was standing around in 40 degree weather in shorts. Then, at the sample sale at the TriBeCa Grand, there was a beautiful woman wearing a teal suede vintage mini-dress. It had shoulder pads and a scoop neck, and it fit her perfectly. She said she'd bought it at a thrift store in Palm Beach for $4.
Sadie: I saw one girl whose look was so hip as to verge on dowdy, and I loved it: she had sort of Cameron-Diaz-in-Being-John-Malkovich hair, big glasses, and this maxi dress. She also looked furious.
I spied Lynn Yaeger, in what looked like vintage lace but might have been partly Prada.
Most folks were too self-consciously fashion-y in cage heels and leggings etc.
Jenna: Oh, man, a Lynn Yaeger sighting. I am so jealous. That Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovich look is so hard to pull off, I always mentally nod in respect when I see it even attempted. I agree, though, in general the crowd was very skinny-destroyed-jeans, studs-on-things, chunky-heels, blouson-top, "I-totally-just-threw-this-on," either all-black or whoa-random-colors. Kind of a boring look.
Sadie: I complimented her, which was maybe breaking the fourth wall, because she was clearly put out by my importuning. My blouse got ripped in the crush. But hopefully everyone thought it was a deliberate twist on buttoned-up menswear. Punk edge, you know.
Jenna: me: Absolutely. So where else did you go?
Sadie: Saw a little of the Rapture's "set" at Prada...glimpsed the Miller sisters...
Jenna: Spy Grace Coddington?
Sadie: No! Sadly. I bet she left; I don't blame her — having to strand around these stores for 6 hours seems very tedious.
Jenna: Absolutely. Not least because nobody was buying much.
Sadie: I grabbed drinks at Madewell and Club Monaco, as they were en route to the hot dog truck.
Jenna: I guess they are hoping heavily for a sort of follow-through, now the seal has been broken.
I did not have any food all night! Aside from those black and white cookies.
Sadie: One assumes. Tell me how much actual shopping you saw, because I witnessed very little!
Jenna: Plenty o' booze, though. Moe and I did well on that score. Very little shopping. Some people were trying things on at the TriBeCa Grand. But most of the stores I went to were mobbed because of the entertainment/gawking/novelty factor.
Sadie: The atmosphere was really not conducive to shopping. And some places served red wine!
Jenna: Not because of actual sales opportunities.
Sadie: How would you characterize the atmosphere, overall? And the crowd? (Relative to the hype.)
me: It was really cool, actually, I enjoyed myself more than I thought I would. It was definitely fun — if occasionally ridiculous. I saw a woman in a leopard print dress and a (different) leopard print scarf at What Goes Around Comes Around. She tried on a blue sequined jumpsuit I had just browsed on the rack. It cost something like $2,500.
And the Opening Ceremony scene was just — nuts. The camera set-up in the store window, the prices of things, the mayhem.
Sadie: I mean, that was frankly kind of my idea of hell. That's why I don't go to "clubs."
Jenna: did you see that cardigan by Rodarte at Opening Ceremony, folded up, with two tags? One was printed and said $2,800. The other was written by hand in highlighted sharpie, and said DO NOT PICK UP RODARTE. It was the most heartbreaking thing ever. I took a picture.

Sadie: YES! But overall: yeah, kind of fun. There was definitely a carnival atmosphere on the streets.
Jenna: So Moe and I went over to the mannequins and TOUCHED THE RODARTE. Rodarte is soft, it turns out.

Sadie: NO!!!
Jenna: Yup, we did.
Sadie: Did officious publicists scream at you? Did the guys in the window stop voguing? DID YOU HURT THE ECONOMY?
Jenna: No! We just pawed at the pretty gothic-Stevie Nicks dresses until we were satisfied. Then drank more Asahi. Did you buy anything?
Sadie: Nope! (Well, except the hot dog.)
Jenna: I bought a gorgeous Marios Schwab dress from a vintage seller at the TriBeCa Grand. me: it's black, billowy chiffon, with polarfleece sleeves, and a strange technofabric-and-elastic boned harness that comes over the shoulders and clicks in front with a — one of those closures they use on backpacks or fanny packs, generally with poly webbing. You know? Or on bicycle helmets. It was really cool, in a sort of techno-gothic way. I'm wearing it right now! It's warm. Best of all, it was only $50. But I only had $20, so I had to get my Opening Ceremony worker friend to spot me $30 from his hidden stash of emergency money. As he said, it was clearly a Fashion Emergency. (Yuk, yuk, yuk!)
Sadie: That is the perfect thing to buy at a fashion event. (Besides a hot dog.) Wear it next year — maybe we can skip the lines at O.C. Assuming this hasn't fixed the economy, that is.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.No Pants - Sometimes. I'm on record in my opposition to the exposed-ass look, but sometimes there's nothing like a men's shirt and gams for pure sex appeal. Just ask Elaine Stritch.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Color - a lot of it. So what if everyone looks at you? You're brightening their day - and they're looking on your terms.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Absurdly Big Hair. If you're lucky enough to have an old-school beauty shop nearby, they'll know how to crank out a classic beehive, and cheaply enough that you can just rock it for an evening to the movies. There is nothing like the supreme confidence of absolutely stiff hair. And yes, wigs are awesome too - plus an afternoon in a good wig shop is an afternoon well spent.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Completely Unique Makeup. Anyone can be "flawless." Lynn Yaeger's made a career of looking totally like her vision of herself. And for something that would seem to be self-conscious, it's done totally un-self-consciously. Isn't that really the key?


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Golden Girls chic. Which one, you ask? Well, you really can't go wrong: from bedazzled sweat suits to big-shouldered power jackets to leopard-print caftans, nothing says confidence like a little mid-80's Miami heat. And if it matters to you, this is actually a good look for hipster-heavy situations, because no one knows what to make of it and so, fearing what they don't understand, automatically respect and fear you. Also: easy to source at thrift stores.


The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Wear an Enormous Hat. Bring the hat back. It's bold. It's completely gratuitous. It's the sort of thing that, unless you're in a costumey phase, you simply don't do as a teenager. Because being grown-up is wonderful.



What Not To Wear Beyond Your Teens [MSN]

• Agyness Deyn might try hypnotism to quit smoking. She "obviously" wants to stop so she can "settle down and have babies," says a friend of her boyfriend's. Obviously that's any woman's only consideration. [Daily Mail]

• Zac Posen will see your economic negativity and raise you an ounce of creativity. "I started my business in another trying time, right after 9/11. Everyone was saying ‘don't go into business, there's no place, there's no retail world out there.' Nobody wanted to hear about a new brand. But you create your own excitement, and you create the industry, and you create the customer, and that's what is going to get this country out of this difficult time." Yes we can wear beautiful dresses! [The Cut]
• Meanwhile a rag-tag group of former i-bankers has a crazy dream to make ugly shoes from recycled trash. Which is a kind of creativity that, environment aside, I'm not sure we need. [The Street]
• Lynn Yaeger goes to fashion week on the subway. Just. Like. I. Do. [The Cut]
• "Vivica Fox came out in this full sequined gown and she had the longest hair weave of her life. It was a shock, it was inspiring to women." If you've ever wanted to enter the mind of Christian Siriano, one good way of doing so would be to read an entire column by him. Fashion week is literally amazing, guys! [Time]
• Coco Rocha, in between attending fashion shows and walking in them, is also hosting an hour-long documentary about the lives of models during the week of weeks for E! Busy girl. [Elle]
• Kelly Cutrone had a hand in getting Ashley Alexandra Dupré to Yigal Azrouël on Friday. Yigal fired her. [NYDN]
• But Cutrone still wins for sheer audacity of media tricksterhood: she introduced Dupré to an editor at an avant-garde fashion magazine who wants to shoot the ex-callgirl, like, yesterday already. So this is how you get into Dazed and Confused. [The Cut]
• Are runways this season more diverse than last? It's looking like yes. The New York Times talks to some models from Harlem and the Bronx who are glad to see the "No ethnic models" signs retired. (The story also reminded me of how I know three models who all went to the same high school somewhere in deepest Queens. Once I told one of them I was thinking of moving to Queens and she gave me this withering look and said, "By 'Queens', you probably mean, like, Astoria, or Long Island City, don't you?" I did. But at least I know where Queens is, unlike a nameless designer in Eric Wilson's piece.) [NY Times]
• Model Sessilee Lopez eats egg McMuffins and asks to take home clothes from fashion shows. [NYDN]
• Peter Som has a fall collection, even if he didn't have a show. [Fashionista]
• An angel investor in Patrick Cox's struggling handmade shoe house was caught trying to license the Patrick Cox name and trademark for profit. [Telegraph]
• Somewhere, someone built an algorithm to analyze all the acres of type churned out in fashion week coverage, and that someone is here to tell us that this season's buzz words are "chiconomics" and "Michelle Obama." And "recessionista." [UPI]
• Anna Wintour is still talking about that sequined mini-dress The Recession made her not put in Vogue. Only now, in her mind it only cost $25,000, not $50,000. Times are hard. Anybody got any idea whose dress this might be? [WSJ]
• The May cover of Wintour's magazine might actually feature some models on it, in honor of the costume institute gala at the Met, which is model-themed this year. Online speculation points to Raquel Zimmerman, Natasha Poly, Liya Kebede, Isabeli Fontana, and Natalia Vodianova as among the final choices. [Fashionologie]
• British retailers are going to change their sizing for children's clothes because of the obesity epidemic. [Telegraph]
• Which will play right into noted obesity educator Karl "No Fat Chicks" Lagerfeld's talking points. The Kaiser also has reservations about online shopping, although this one time his assistant showed him how to order books and music on Amazon.com and it wasn't so bad, he supposes. [Portfolio]
• Nastia Liukin's line of denim isn't faring well. But her leotards, sold to other gymnasts, should keep her from the poor house. [The Cut]
• Wal-Mart isn't concerned about the souring fortunes of celeb-backed labels; it's launching a new Russell Simmons line. [WWD]
• Zooey Deschanel is also getting in on the action, with a limited-edition pair of $415 Oliver Peoples sunglasses she personally designed. My snark for this project is lessened in direct proportion to the share of the profits that will go towards victims of domestic violence. [LA Times]
• Posh's dress line has slightly lowered its prices from last season. But she's not sure if it's inspired by Mad Max or Mad Men. Either way there's a gray one with a butt ruffle. [Daily Mail]
• H&M's same-store sales beat analysts' expectations by only declining 1% on last January. This is good news. [WSJ]
• Whoa. A man in Osaka threatened 11 Uniqlo employees with a knife, tied them up with packing tape, and stole 2.5 million Yen. He was arrested as he tried to escape. [Breitbart]

• Paris Hilton on dropping $3,880 in 40 minutes: "I think it's important to help out, you know, the economy out here, everywhere in the world... It's New Year's, I need a New Year's dress." [Breitbart]

• But, Paris, Australia's the one place that's having record post-Christmas sales! [Bloomberg]
• Consumer confidence is at an all-time low; thank God for Paris. [WWD]
• Well, this makes sense: although every market in the world is down, designer children's clothing is booming! [WWD]
• French retailer Morgan is going under. You'd think having the country's first lady as a model would help! [Times of London]
• Jewelry chain Christian Bernard is going under, too. [WSJ]
• Trinidadian tailor Andrew Ramroop, who suited Princess Di, has been given an OBE. [Telegraph]
• Also honored: Nicky Kinnaird, founder of amazing beauty emporium Space NK. [WWD]
• Noooo! Fashion iconoclast Lynn Yaeger has been laid off from the struggling Village Voice! [Pop and Politics]
• CEOs talk about their new year's resolutions: most of them seem to involve not going under. [WWD]
• Ted Lapidus, a French fashion photographer who helped pioneer the concept of "unisex," has died at 79. [Guardian]
• Esprit names a new CFO, works on expanding in Asian markets, presumably not evoking 1991. [The Street]
• Limited Edition New York presents some of the better celeb tees we've seen: these are by Teresa Missoni, Irina Lazareanu and Angela Lindvall, and proceeds go towards climate change. [WWD]