Kelly writes,

[N]ow there's this new spate of advice talking about how lying is bad for a relationship. That is my line in the sand. Marriages cannot exist without dishonesty. [...] I am not suggesting that all lying is good. Adultery, "sexting" with your college boyfriend, saying you're in a meeting when you're at the racetrack, or telling your spouse that your parents are dead when they live in Boca are not acceptable lies. I'm talking about fibs. Things like "You look like you lost more weight" or "You're right-that person from work is a dummy" or "I love spending time with your friends."

I'm not sure there's really a crusade afoot to end white lies in marriage, but Kelly's piece is kind of apt even if not strictly necessary. She writes, "spouses are always trying to trick you into admitting something they think you secretly believe." I've never been married, but I have forced boyfriends into some pretty stereotypical "you hate this skirt, don't you?" discussions — some of which might have gone better if the guy in question had just lied. And I've told lies less white than, "I love spending time with your friends." Below are a sampling of some things I and the rest of the Jezebel staff have lied to a significant other about (anonymous of course):

— having feelings for an ex
— being mad
— being jealous
— liking jazz
— disliking his friends
— "when i'm out, what time i will be home"
— "how few guys I've been with"
— whether "this guy i met at a party" is actually "this guy i slept with a couple of times"
— replacing "my ex boyfriend" with "this kid I knew at school" or "I knew someone once who..."
— "how old I was when I lost my virginity"
— smoking pot
— past abortions
— cheating
— liking cheap beer, especially Pabst Blue Ribbon
— spending money on clothes
— picking at zits
— picking at his zits
— liking South Park
— having an orgasm

Kelly closes her piece with the claim that "you do need lies to take the place of the hormonal rush you got when you first met. That hormonal rush may get you into a relationship, but it's the little lies that keep you there." Lying to keep things exciting sounds a little sad, but it's probably not so bad to tell small lies to keep the peace when you're no longer so gooey that you forgive each other for everything. Some of my lies, though, have been meant to camouflage emotions I wasn't "supposed" to have (mostly anger), and those emotions have usually ended up coming out in other ways. I'm still not sure when, if ever, it's healthy for me to lie and say "I'm fine." But I'll probably always tell a few white lies in relationships, and I expect anyone I'm with will too. Maybe I even hope so — innocent skirts have gone to Goodwill because certain people just had to tell the truth.

Married, With Lies [Newsweek]

Sure, there was the tooth fairy nonsense (which I tested by losing a tooth and not telling anyone, then informing my mom and miraculously earning a JFK half-dollar overnight). But also: When I was young and had a nightmare, my dad told me to flip the pillow over before going back to sleep so I'd have nice dreams the rest of the night. A total lie that had psychological benefits; after that, I always flipped my pillow over after a bad dream instead of running to my parents. I wish I could say I dropped this habit: I still flip my pillow in the night to "change" dreams.

Other lies: Santa was going to land on our Manhattan terrace since we didn't have a fireplace. The phrase "This hurts me more than it hurts you." Oh, and my mom said my godmother's shiny cigarette case had a mouse living in it.

I polled the other editors. Says one: "They lied about EVERYTHING. How long the car trip will take, eating my Halloween candy and then telling me it was donated to sick children at the hospital, sandwich crust makes your hair shiny, every child has to get a perm…" Another wrote: "I learned at 11 they'd been lying about never smoking weed. I was irate, but at the same time impressed they'd managed to keep it a secret. My mom reasoned that she had indeed smoked a lot, but never actually *liked* it all that much, so it didn't count."

Of course, it took forever for me to find out that my parents were not married when I was born, making the tooth fairy stuff seem like no big deal. There are lies, and there are lies. Got any good ones?

14 Lies Parents Need to Stop Telling Their Kids (Part 1) [Strollerderby]

Ever lie to your significant other? Does s/he ever lie to you? According to a new survey by the esteemed scientists at Harlequin Romance, one in two American men and women have lied to get out of a date. (What do you use? An old friend is in town, I think I've got the flu, I have to work late?) The study also found that 61% of men think it's okay to lie when a woman asks "does this make me look fat?" (Something you should really never ever ask anyone. I think that just saying the word "fat" puts it in the person's head and then they will always look at you that way.) And so while everyone thinks these little white lies are all well and good, you've got to wonder: Is lying a slippery slope?

Most of the time, honestly is the best policy, even if it stings. At least you know "the truth." Because isn't lying kind of addictive? I'd had friends who dated guys who suddenly turned out to be married. With kids. These are the same guys who say stuff like, "You always look gorgeous" (lie!) or "You're the best I've ever had." Once you get in the "tell 'em what they want to hear" mode, is it hard to break out? Is it okay to tell a guy he looks great when he doesn't? Is it okay to tell a guy his cooking is great (when it's not)? Is it okay to tell a guy he's great in bed (when he's not)? Where do you draw the line? Personally, I think lying about sex, exes and money is a no-no. But that's just me. What is it not okay to lie about?

Lying Not Bad When It Comes To Dating, Survey Shows [Reuters]

Continues Cullen, "The fact is, we all lie." Obviously. But do women lie more than men, and are we conditioned to do so? Scientists do acknowledge that there are biological differences between the brains of men and women — for instance, men have a harder time forgiving than women do. Women often feel the need to keep things calm, and smooth; Dr. Jennifer Hartstein, a clinical psychologist in New York City notes that often women lie because "We don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. We don't want to put anybody down. So, we really work very hard to keep the peace, keep it easy, be nice, be cordial." Except men do that too! Not all women have the morals of that blonde from The Moment Of Truth. So is Ms. Barash's claim that women lie more just a falsehood to sell her book?

Author: Women Lie More, Better Than Men [CBS Early Show]
Do Women Lie More Than Men? [Time]
Sex Differences Extend Into The Brain [Science Daily]
Men Have A Harder Time Forgiving Than Women Do [Science Daily]
Related: Why Not To Settle, Brought To You By Moment Of Truth

Whoah. Our responses, after the jump.

How often do you fake an orgasm?:
MSNBC survey takers said:
Never: 49%
Once in a while: 36%
Often: 10%
All the time: 5.6%

Jezebels said:
Never: 33%
Once in a while: 67%
Often: 0%
All the time: 5.6%

Have you ever lied about the number of partners you've had?
MSNBC survey takers said:
Yes: 44%
No: 56%

Jezebels said:
Yes: 17%
No: 83%

Have you ever lied about having an STD?
MSNBC survey takers said:
Yes: 6.4%
No: 94%

Jezebels said:
Yes: 0%
No: 100%

Have you ever lief about using birth control?
MSNBC survey takers said:
Yes: 6.2%
No: 94%

Jezebels said:
Yes: 0%
No: 100%

Do you have sexual fantasies you've never shared with your partner?
MSNBC survey takers said:
Yes: 70%
No: 30%

Jezebels said:
Yes: 33%
No: 67%

Have you ever lied about being a virgin?
MSNBC Survey takers said:
Yes: 12%
No: 88%

Jezebels said:
Yes: 0%
No: 100%

Have you ever lied to your partner about his or her abilities in the bedroom?
MSNBC survey takers said:
Yes: 43%
No: 57%

Jezebels said:
Yes: 17%
No: 83%

Have you ever lied to your partner about the size of his or her genitals?
MSNBC survey takers said:
Yes: 21%
No:79%

Jezebels said:
Yes: 0%
No: 100%

Who knew we were so honest? What's wrong with you lying losers?

Lies We Tell in the Bedroom [MSNBC.com]