The one context in which Taylor Momsen's teen goth makes sense! Besides, you know, high school.


Jessica Szohr goes topical, too: this is vaguely Interview with the Vampire. Retro!


Hey, if there's one place you can do steampunk spinster, this is it. Not that Agyness Deyn needs an excuse.


Rachel Roy boldly disregards the Tim Burton dress code, and as a result wears one of the more interesting - and certainly cheerful - outfits here. Dig the mixed patterns.


The lovely Ashley Greene plays a clairvoyant vampire. Her dress plays angry shag carpeting.


Alexa Chung's eyes sparkle with the unholy light of the true fan.


Kristen Stewart looks chicer and more comfortable every time we see her. No mean feat at 19.


Genevieve Jones' shoes are altogether too gay for such a serious event. Does she not realize that young girls are dying with love all over the world?


Fabiola Beracasa is...camera-ready. And yes, it is a teen vampire movie! Whatever, who doesn't love costumes?


Lydia Hearst is 1920s ethereal. The "good" to Fabiola's "evil," if you will.


I can't think of a single nice thing to say about Veronica Webb's getup, so let's move on for karmic purposes.


Haha, Natalie Portman thought she could sneak in the back way, did she? Not on our watch, sister! Admit that twi-love!


Ivanka Trump has the look, and the getup, of one who's just realized, wait, this isn't a charitable fundraiser?


Amber Rose just refuses to leave home without her dunce cap!


There are many embarrassing things about this event. This is obviously one of them.

[Images via Getty]

• Kate Moss says her motto is, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." [WWD]

• In December Harper's Bazaar, Victoria Beckham reveals that she is itching to dress Emma Watson. [People]
• Alexander Wang is now 100,000 Euros richer, thanks to the Swiss Textiles Award. [WWD]
• Bridget Moynahan is becoming a face of Garnier Nutritioniste skincare. [WWD]
• It took a while, but someone finally got around to identifying what Sasha and Malia wore in the official White House family portrait, and putting together a press release. (Turns out it was French children's label Dino e Lucia.) [WWD]
• Miss J, on fun times with André Leon Talley: "I was working for Lars Nilsson at Bill Blass and André Leon Talley came over to the studio with Elizabeth Taylor's epic movie Boom!, which Karl Lagerfeld did the costuming for. We got down on some fried chicken, corn bread and popcorn shrimp and were in fits of hysterics well into the night. We went from working with models who don't eat all day to watching all of us get down on some soul food!" Says Miss J, "Sticks and stones may break your bones, but fabulous gets you most places." [The Moment]
• Naomi Campbell held a Fashion For Relief runway show to raise money for maternal health in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania. (Previous stops have included Mumbai and New York, and have raised $1 million in aid for Hurricane Katrina and the Mumbai terrorist attacks.) Campbell walked the runway for the first time in the continent of Africa, and talked about the importance of diversity in fashion. "There's definitely space [for more black models] but has there been enough effort? It was getting better but it's slipped back this year," said the model. "The world is not made up of blonde hair and blue eyes. We need to share ourselves." [Reuters]
• Claudia Schiffer wouldn't rule out starting a clothing line. "I would consider it but it would have to be the right thing. They would need to be clothes that I would want to wear." [Telegraph]
• Liu Wen will be the first Asian model to walk in the Victoria's Secret fashion show. [Modelinia]
• Marc Jacobs' fiancé, Lorenzo Martone, and Ryan Brown, formerly of Elite, are starting a talent PR agency for models together called ARC NY. Lydia Hearst has signed on. [P6]
• Mango might ink a distribution deal with a U.S. department store, like JC Penney, Macy's, Bloomingdales or Saks, to help its retail expansion. [WWD]
• What other fashion house has ever inspired poetry upon its demise?
  "Luella, we will miss
  The frills
  The spills
  But know this

  Your work will live on
  In a sample sale shirt
  I once purchased
  Cheap as chips." [Guardian]

• As one exits, another enters: Biba is being revived. Again. [Catwalk Queen]
• Jimmy Choo has opened a Chinese restaurant in London. [Elle UK]
• For $8,500, you could own a sofa in the shape of the Chanel logo. [FWD]
• Bamboo fabric, though made from a plant that can be grown without pesticides and fertilizers, is processed with toxic solvents, just like rayon and viscose are made from wood. Eco-friendly it is not. [WSJ]
• Nordstrom's revenues for the third quarter jumped 17% on last year's results, but the company missed its earnings forecast by one cent, which sent the share price tumbling. [TS]
• Abercrombie & Fitch's quarterly profit fell to $38.8 million, from $63.9 million a year ago. [Reuters]
• Sales of department store fragrances fell by 11% on last year during the first three quarters, to $1.38 billion. [WWD]
• That hasn't stopped Gwen Stefani and her perfume partners, Coty, from putting out five new Harajuku Lovers fragrances. [WWD]

The question on everyone's lips: did Daphne deliver? Oh, hell yes.


Hey, if, like Selita Ebanks, I were one of the most beautiful women in the world, I'd use my powers to pull off highly risky numbers too.


Amber Valletta is well on her way to another slot on the highly prestigious "year's best getups" list.


Fabiola Beracasa joins the Miuccia Prada school of enlightened frumpiness. Dig the Stevie Smith frock.


Model Heather Marks is apparently a fan of Fair Warning-era Van Halen.


Model Anja Rubik channels one of those handcrafted fairy dolls from the pages of Doll Reader.


Dayle Haddon represents old-schools socialites everywhere.


Waris Ahluwalia is a jewelry designer, man-about-town and regular in Wes Anderson films. That's why he can dress like he's guesting on an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.


Cassie: the Camel with the Wrinkled Knees called. He wants his wrinkled knees back.


Lisa Marie Smith's tights are really...I mean, that gathering is strikingly...I'm sorry, I can't take my eyes off the guy vogueing in the corner.


Far be it from me to argue with someone who's had a guest spot on Gossip Girl, but Lydia Hearst's mod nightgown looks like a mod nightgown. Not that there's anything wrong with that.


Erin Fetherston has the knowing, power-mad look of one who's skinned a bunch of snakes and is hoping to gain their powers through wearing their skins. You know, that look.


Simon Doonan, in classic Simon Doonan costume.


Amanda Lepore, a famed NYC drag diva, adds glamour to any occasion.


Men of the hour: Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone. And maybe I'm just really used to the kilt, but it's the shadow-fade jeans that are grabbing my attention.

[Images via Getty]

• It seems Calvin Klein put up a billboard in SoHo which some find a little too sexy. We sure hope this kerfuffle ("It's borderline pornographic!") and all the media coverage of it doesn't hurt the company's denim sales! [NYDN]

• "Nothing will be the same again, it would be illusory to think it will be the same again," now that we're in a recession, said Bernard Arnault, chairman and chief executive of LVMH. "In the most developed countries, customers will want exceptional brands. In developing countries, customers will increasingly adopt consumption models of developed countries." Funny, that actually sounds familiar! [WWD]
• Watch out for more from model/heiress Lydia Hearst: She was in one independent film, The Last International Playboy, which is a title that every time I read it makes me briefly confused about whether the movie is an adaptation of The Playboy of the Western World, but in any case, for Lydia, the fame train has not yet reached the end of its line. "This is hopefully just the beginning," Hearst said at the premiere. "I'm a model, but you can expect a lot more from me soon." [WWD]
• Phoebe Philo's resort collection for Celine, her first, was given a rave review by Cathy Horyn at the New York Times. "The central thing to know about her Celine clothes, which are terrific for a number of reasons, is that they reflect an every-day style. By that I mean they are clothes you want to wear every day, whether you work in an office or a gallery, part-time or at home. They answer the questions many women have about wanting to look good at work — appropriate — while still looking relaxed and casual. I'm not sure what Celine really means to American women, and I don't really care, but I thought it interesting that Ms. Philo focused on sportswear — not dresses, not ball gowns, not girlish, what-do-I-do-with-this-now separates. She makes one of the strongest sportswear statements we've seen in some time...It looked right for now, a reprieve from the Balmainia of ultra minidresses and chunky little boots." [On The Runway]
• We shudder to think what this collab might look like: Ronnie Wood and Liberty of London. Leather, black eyeliner, and...floral prints? Oh, wait, the apparel and accessories lines will be based around the Stone's "choice quotations" and art. That sounds so much better. [WWD]
• A more successful pairing might be Loomstate and Keds, which reaches Barneys Coop stores and Barneys.com today. Loomstate redesigned five laceless classic Keds with its prints on 100% organic cotton uppers and linings, the insoles are recycled, the eyelets are nickel-free, and the shoe boxes are recycled. Each pair runs $75. [WWD]
• Is this Tom Ford sounding penitent? "That whole obsession with youth, with new, new, new — it's giving us clothes no one can wear. As for the business model that I followed at Gucci — the new this, the It that, the let's get it on a celebrity and shoot her in front of a logo, it was getting old then. Now it's really old." [Times of London]
• Michael Kors and Heidi Klum, already a familiar duo from evening television, are behind this year's Breast Cancer Research Foundation/Saks Fifth Avenue Key to the Cure fundraiser. Kors has designed a t-shirt that will retail at $40 at Saks, and Klum will model the top for print advertisements. Saks will donate $500,000 to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, and 2% of the shirt sales, up to $250,000, to other local and national breast cancer charities. [WWD]
• O.M.G., everybody: since 1997, Old Navy has sold t-shirts with an American flag on them and the current year at the bargain price of $5, in honor of making money around the 4th of July holiday. But this year, Wal-Mart's private label Faded Glory has a flag t-shirt with the year on it, and it only costs $3! How are we ever going to choose a retailer to affirm our patriotism now? [NYTimes]
• Clever boy that Jason Wu. For his pre-fall collection, the designer created six different pieces for five top stores: Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, Bergdorf Goodman, Saks Fifth Avenue, and Jeffrey. Letting everyone get slightly different versions of the same thing keeps the consumer shopping and might go some way to thwarting the race-to-the-bottom effect of discounting. He's doing the same thing for Spring. [WWD]
• Realizing perhaps that in offering 15-year-old Tallulah Belle (Bruce and Demi's daughter) an internship they had in fact violated employment laws, Harper's Bazaar would like to clarify that the youngster is not, in fact, an "intern," but a "guest" of the magazine. Who comes to work every day to shadow the editors. Right. [Daily Express]
• The first pan-African fashion week kicked off in Johannesburg, featuring 50 designers from as far away as Sierra Leone and Nigeria. [Reuters]
• A recent vogue for bobcat fur may be hurting bobcat populations in the Western states. Nevada, New Meico, and Wyoming all have long trapping seasons for the cats, and no limits on how many may be killed. Their popularity with designers has caused prices to surge to around $500 a pelt. [AP]
• Selma Weiser, the 84-year-old founder of legendary Manhattan boutique Charivari, died of heart failure on Friday in her home on the Upper West Side. In the 60s, 70s and 80s, Weiser was among the very first to bring designers such as Claude Montana, Yohji Yamamoto, Issey Miyake, Giorgio Armani, and Thierry Mugler to an American audience. She also gave Marc Jacobs a job as a shop assistant when he was 15. [WWD]
• Someone named Scott Amron — apparently an electrical engineer/designer/inventor, and someone unaware of LVMH's aggressive policing of its intellectual property — had the bright idea to sell "Luis Vuitton" [sic] band-aids made of perforated leather. We sense the descent of lawyers in 3, 2, 1... [AmronExptl]
• Natalie Massenet, founder of Net-A-Porter, and Christopher Bailey, creative director of Burberry, were named MBEs at Buckingham Palace this weekend. [WWD]

• Posters The Last International Playboy, featuring Lydia Hearst in a state of undress have been banned in major cities. We just hope all this publicity right ahead of the June 12 release won't harm its box-office! [Observer]

• Karl Lagerfeld, Olivier Theyskens, and Alber Elbaz are rumored to be doing a grand fashion switcheroo. According to fashion writer Diane Pernet, Lagerfeld hasn't renewed his contract at Chanel, and Elbaz, of Lanvin, is going to take his place. Theyskens won't go to Schiaparelli, as previously thought, and instead will take the reins at Lanvin. Just wrap your head around that for a minute. [ASVOF]
• Proctor & Gamble is ending distribution of Max Factor makeup in the United States. [WWD]
• A nude photo of Carla Bruni-Sarkozy auctioned in Berlin sold for $19,600. It had been estimated to fetch $3,568-$4,997. [AP]
• André Leon Talley says that Anna Wintour was "thrilled" with Morley Safer's softly-lit, mostly softball 60 Minutes profile — this despite the fact that Safer essentially called Wintour a "bitch" to her face. Talley did puzzle at some of Safer's takes on the various designers and models he met in the course of his research — he memorably said Karl Lagerfeld "this season favors a Dracula look." "He's had that look for eight years!" laughed Talley. [Mediabistro]
• Model Daisy Lowe: "I'm going to get old and wrinkly, and when I'm older I'm going to put on loads of weight, and I'm excited about it. I think it's just really important to remember that you aren't your face." [Telegraph]
• Designer Charlotte Ronson: "i lost my favorite black vintage sweatshirt at Avenue in ny last night. Please if anyone finds it contact me. there will be a reward." [CJRonson's Twitter]
• Linda Evangelista says that lip liner and a slick of gloss is a much more "modern" look than lipstick. Okay. [MSN]
• Creative director Esteban Cortazar is said to be on his way out at the troubled house of Ungaro. Although Lindsay Lohan is not, as had been rumored, in the running for any kind of creative position, C.E.O. Mounir Moufarrige favors her, or another celebrity, as a face of the brand. This marketing strategy was not to the 25-year-old Columbian designer's liking. [WWD]
• Jason Wu showed his resort collection yesterday in New York, and some of the editors who came to watch it did not eat any of the hors d'oeuvres. Shocking fashion behavior, that! [P6]
• Banana Republic is going to launch a men's and women's fragrance duo, to be called Republic Collection. [WWD]
• Pictures of the Hotel Missoni in Edinburgh, the first of three currently planned Missoni-designed hotels, are now available. It looks nice. Single rooms start around $289 per night. [Hotel Missoni]
• For those of you who appreciate good design, have several homes, and enjoy the sun (but not the surf), Rosa Cha has a line of beach wear that can't get wet. Although Raquel Welch has already bought up all their $1,200 leather bikinis (joke), and a $1,900 caftan also already sold out, the designer's Swarovski-studded bathers are still available, at $3,200 for a maillot and $1,200 for a bikini. "The people that buy the pieces are people who, well, can definitely afford these kinds of items," said store manager Christina Delice. Indeed. [UPI]
• First order of business for Roberto Cavalli and Clessidra SpA, the private equity fund he just agreed (in a non-binding way) to sell 30% of his business to, is finding a C.E.O. Apparently, they already have a shortlist, although we don't know who's on it. Versace, whose C.E.O Giancarlo di Risio is expected to tender his resignation to the board at its meeting in Milan today, isn't in any such hurry. The company is understood to be still drafting its list of potential leaders. [WWD]
• Abercrombie & Fitch experienced a 28% drop in same-store sales for the month of May. Stock fell by 13% after the announcement. [The Street]
• Madewell, the slightly-less-expensive J. Crew outpost, is going to launch an e-commerce site in its name by the first quarter of next year, said C.E.O. Mickey Drexler. Let's hope it works a little better than the regular J. Crew site. [WWD]
• Although Orla Kiely's privately held company is not obligated to disclose its sales and revenue figures publicly, the designer says her business is going gangbusters, recession be damned. Her housewares line for Target is especially successful. [NY Times]
• A Pennsylvania woman who patented her design for a bra that would provide uplift and a smooth silhouette, and then sought out Victoria's Secret as a potential manufacturing partner, says that the company instead consulted with her long enough to steal the idea. She is suing. [UPI]

Buried in the 10th paragraph of writer Eric Wilson's "Thursday Styles" piece on the opening of Armani's new 5th Ave. flagship store, after the square feet and the years of construction and the annual company revenues, is the revelation that the designer's much-hyped dispatches from New York fashion week are not, in fact, entirely the perma-tanned Italian's own work. Anyone who imagined Armani coming home in the pre-dawn hours to his Upper West Side pied-à-terre from some fashion after-party only to dutifully type his impressions into a little gray text editor should take note: his blogging is all "as told to J. J. Martin, a freelance journalist."

But it might not be a clear-cut case of Lydia Hearstism. Armani is somewhat less than proficient in spoken English, and conducts his English-language interviews via interpreter. It would be strange indeed if he were suddenly able to blog daily in flawless English prose. (After a rocky start where he criticized Americans' pasta, window coverings, and what we wear to night clubs, Armani has gone on to recount his first trip to the Bronx, where he opened a new arts center with Caroline Kennedy before riding the subway back downtown, and dished about his star-studded store opening on Tuesday night.)

J. J. Martin has contributed to The Moment before, always from Milan. If Martin speaks Italian, it wouldn't be an unusual choice for the Times to hook him up with Armani. But Wilson's phrasing "as told to" suggests that Martin's role exceeds that of a translator. All of Armani's columns have appeared under his sole byline.

It's not entirely clear what Martin's involvement is or who exactly writes these posts — does Armani dictate them in Italian and give Martin license to edit freely? Does Martin interview Armani and collect his thoughts into posts wholesale? Is he a garden variety ghost writer? If so, why aren't Martin's contributions acknowledged with any kind of byline credit? More than anything, we wonder why it took the Times days to explain how a non-English-speaking designer could guest-write for one of the publication's most-beloved blogs.

Giorgio Armani Opens A New Store On Fifth Avenue [NY Times]
Posts To 'The Moment' Authored By Giorgio Armani [The Moment]
Posts To 'The Moment' Authored By J. J. Martin [The Moment]

Related: Lydia Hearst Doesn't Write Her Own Columns [Gawker]

• Jean Paul Gaultier always brings surprise into his shows. He's had Coco Rocha Irish dance, and included plus models in his lineup. This time he closed the show with magnificent Ines de la Fressange. [AFP]

• Taylor Swift is launching a line of sundresses that will cost $14 and be sold at Wal-Mart. However! She says she's not like all those other celebrity "designers" who are all too happy to claim the title. "I like people who have worked their entire lives to become designers," Swift says. "I think that they have their place as designers and I have my place as a musician, and I'm going to pretty much stick to that." Huh. If Taylor Swift isn't a designer, then who designed the line? Or did the dresses simply spring, fully formed, from the fingertips of a bevvy of 14-year-old Indonesian sweatshop workers? [The Cut]
• A Real World: Brooklyn cast member has become an underwear model. Scott from New Hampshire is the new face of Baskit Underwear's organic line, "Pure." [Racked]
• The Japanese government held a runway show in New York to promote young Japanese designers on the international scene. [WSJ]
• On the occasion of Maria Grazia Chiuri and Pier Paolo Piccioli's first collection for Valentino, which will be shown today at couture week in Paris, the man himself has praise for the pair — and some choice words about his successor, Alessandra Facchinetti, who was fired after just eight months with the company. At the time of her appointment, Valentino, who left his company a year ago, would only say, "I've met her. She's pretty." After Facchinetti was dumped, he let rip: "[Chiuri and Piccioli] always demonstrated an enormous respect and love for my work. There is an existing archive with thousands of dresses where they can draw and take inspiration from to create a Valentino product that is relevant today. It is a shame that their predecessor didn't feel this need." Today, he'd like to remind everyone that, despite his affinity for Chiuri and Piccioli, he "categorically denies" helping them design their first collection. "If I decide to attend the presentation of their collection, it will only be as a supporter of two people I love and who have been close to me for many years," he said. All right then! [The Cut]
• Polyvoweled supermodel Iekeliene Stange was interviewed by Style.com on the occasion of her first solo photography show. She has this to say about fashion photography: "I think these days fashion photography is very restricted and lacks a lot of creativity. There’s always certain items that need to be shot in certain ways and you don’t have as much freedom. Very often these days it seems to be more about socializing and who knows who, rather than about actual photography." A pretty bold statement to make. [Style.com]
• Lydia Hearst's Pringle of Scotland ad leaked, and the trustafarian model has her patented dazed expression. Still, it's nice to see her actually, you know, working as a model. After last season's campaign efforts, which were a long way from her Prada heights, one would have sooner expected Hearst to turn up in an ad for Pringles than Pringle of Scotland. [The Cut]
• American Express, which, as a fashion week sponsor normally gets one designer to be in a special AmEx branded fashion show in the tents that card-holders can pay $150 to watch, is taking a slightly different route this fashion week. Diane von Furstenberg will be the featured talent, but instead of re-creating her Fall/Winter 09 show of a few days prior, she'll showcase looks from the current spring season. Things you can actually buy. (Of course, AmEx card-holders could also just walk into a DvF store to see her spring collection. But think of how it'll look on the runway, with hair and makeup and lights and music!) Ms. von Furstenberg will also do a Q&A with André Leon Talley before the show. The 850-seat venue is expected to sell out. [WSJ]
• Poor sales numbers at Swatch had a predictable effect on the company's performance for 2008. Gross profits rose less than expected, by 4.3%, to 6 billion Swiss francs ($5.2 billion). The company is predicting modest sales increases for 2009. [WWD]
• H&M had a better-than-expected fourth quarter, although it closed with disappointing December sales. Net profits for the brand jumped 9.4% to 5.09 billion Swedish kronor (about $626 million), up from last year's 4.65 billion kronor. Analysts had predicted a rise to 4.85 billion kronor. Overall profits for 2008 were up 13%; the chain is going to continue its expansion. [WSJ]
• Which is good news, because I'm already getting excited about Matthew Williamson for H&M, which hits stores this April. The designer himself will model in the ad campaign, alongside Daria Werbowy. Solve Sundsbo will shoot. [WWD]
• The 85% off sales of designer goods may have permanently affected the market. According to a new study, sales of luxury products are expected to fall between 3% and 7% in 2009, at least partly because now that consumers have seen how low prices can get, they feel like $600 is too high an asking price for a pair of shoes. I would agree! Some labels are going to permanently lower their prices, others might continue shifting production to Asia. [WSJ]
• Angelina Jolie wore a Max Azria dress to the SAG awards...backwards. I can actually see how it would have looked way too revealing if she'd worn it the "right" way around. Who among us has never turned a favorite sweater backwards for something new? [The Life Files]
• Project Runway's 5th season, which is still the subject of litigation in California, will still show at New York Fashion Week. But the designers featured, and whether there are any decoys among them, will be kept secret from the audience. Also Nina Garcia's writing another book, presumably to keep busy while the lawsuit shakes out. [Fabsugar]
• Betsey Johnson's reissuing a 35-piece capsule collection of garments from her archives. They'll only be sold at Opening Ceremony in Los Angeles and New York. And, I'm willing to predict, on eBay. [WWD]
• Oh. My. God: Lou Doillon and Charlotte Gainsbourg were shot by Annie Liebovitz for American Vogue. Did Anna Wintour just get a clue? [WWD]

The Good:
Sure, it's totally pre-fab and DVF kinda already took the steam out of Wonder Woman, but Kim Kardashian actually makes a really good 1964 Girl Group Singer-cum-super-heroine! (That last part was probably unintentional.)


I'm guessing Lydia Hearst Shaw is supposed to be Poison Ivy, but I choose to believe she's "Absinthe," which would be awesome.


Obviously Lara Spencer's bumblebee is lame, but Kris Jenner's manic — what? S&M officer Weimar cabaret performer? — is so bizarre that I'm adding an automatic 200 points.(L.A.)


Sexy girl scout is perhaps not the most original idea, but Ashlane Gorse gets points for wearing some of her own clothes, which qualifies as major creativity, unfortunately. (L.A.)




The Bad:
Lydia's slutty newspaperwoman would be lame even had it not just come out that she didn't even write her Page Six column!


Richie Rich is here because he always kind of looks like this and we hold him to a different standard of fab.


Again, big ups to the homemade costume, but Derek Hough's Bon Jovi still looks like every frat boy's last-minute effort. (L.A.)


If this is Lance Bass' actual robe, then, lazy. If not, lame costume. Or am I being mean? (L.A.)


Prefab + Cute = Total BS. Fail, Kym Johnson . (L.A.)


I've always felt like, if you're gonna do a costume, commit! Cheryl Burke's WAC (or whatever) in cocktail attire offends me as someone who's gone as a WAVE before in full uniform. (L.A.)

[Images via Getty]

• Russell Simmons may be vegan but admits, “my clothes are not especially animal-friendly." [BlackBook]
• In a somehow perfect/distasteful marriage, Gwen Stefani and L.A.M.B. will be designing the uniforms for W Hotel employees. [Portfolio]
• We've been burned by Target's accessories collabs before, but hopes are running high for the Sigerson Morrison-Anya Hindmarch double whammy! Pics! [FabSugar]
• Some dick crashes the shows at Fashion Week; heckles; makes racist jokes; kills. [NYC The Blog]
• Baby Dior. 'Nuff said. [The Life Files]

• Phew! Lydia Hearst's kidney stones won't be keeping her off the runway: the "leggy trooper" is determined to walk. [NY Post]
• Marc Jacobs enjoys the freedom of kilts: "I was just recently fascinated by the whole men-in-skirts controversy of the nineties. No. I got one and I started wearing it and it made me happy, so I bought more. And now I just can't stop wearing them." [NY Post]
• NPR discovers that people are interested in political fashion. [NPR]
• Which is good, cause apparently there's a political tee "arms race" afoot! "A search on the site for Sarah Palin already yields more than 2,500 results. John McCain gets about 9,000, and Barack Obama about 20,000 (Joe Biden paraphernalia is in very short supply.)" [LA Times]
• Kate Moss has cut her hair. [ElleUK]
• Agyness deep-conditions her newly-bobbed coif. "Yeah… or else they’d fall out! Because I bleach them. I go to Laurie Foley." [Elle]
• And if this makes you admire Agyness enough to totally trivialize the election, why, you can wear a political button supporting her "candidacy!" "Modelinia.com created these buttons with slogans like “Vote for the Stam,” “Cast a Tally for Ally,” and “Coco 2008,” all for the week’s most popular models to match this year’s political theme." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Fast Fashion Cheat Sheet. [Esquire]
• Laetitia Casta is the face of "Notorious," Ralph Lauren's newest women's fragrance. [UPI]
• WHEN WILL TOP SHOP NEW YORK OPEN? STOP TAUNTING US! [NY Mag]
• Monique Lhuillier's fashion week caffeine consumption: "I've been getting between four to seven hours of sleep, and I've been drinking 4 cups of coffee on average during show prep. Normally, I barely have one!" [Elle]
• Model Miranda Kerr's mom may be a savvy business manager but, "We talk every day and she texts me every time she gets on a plane and lands again to say she's safe. It's important for our peace of mind. She's still our only little girl." [News.com.au]
• To appeal to European women, Nike swaps the aggressive "Just Do It" for the vague "Here I Am." [WSJ]
• Fashionistas talk recession: Says one critic, "I don't think enough designers are thinking about it. The clothes we've seen so far have been embroidered and beaded or very elaborate, and they only mean something to the top one-thousandth percent of the population." [Slate]
• Irina Lazareanu is giving Fashion Week a pass to work on this alleged "album with Sean Lennon" that's been in the works since they were a couple. [WWD]
• No one knows what to make of the new trend in shiny happy moddles. [IHT]
• Hey, want a $1,000 tote bag? "To mark Vanity Fair’s Campaign New York, Lambertson Truex teamed up with artist Donald Baechler to create a limited edition tote. The bag features a print that is the background of one of Baechler’s paintings." Oh, well in that case! [WWD]
• That Blahnik that Big proposed to Carrie with is selling at Bergdorf's. For $945. Manolo will be there to autograph said shoes. The sad thing is, you just know they're gonna fly. [NY Times]
• Yoga outfitter Lululemon beats the recession blues. [WWD]

• Tara Subkoff's short films for Bebe are all set to premiere. Says the designer of her "star," Lydia Hearst: "She truly reminds me of the classic 'Hitchcock blonde' — he would have loved her and she would have been a huge star in his films if we could go back in time." Obviously, like Subkoff, Hitch would have staged lesbian makeout sessions with Aubrey O'Day in front of Bungalow 8 for his art. [WWD]
• Sometimes we wonder whether Karl Rove is behind this seemingly systematic campaign to get everyone in Fashionland behind Obama. "Designer Patricia Field has created an Obama t-shirt that reads "Elegance. Dignity. Obama. Statesman." Naturally, this is written in glitter. [Racked]
• We kind of don't understand why Jeremy Piven was the host of Conde Nast's Fashion Rocks concert last year, but according to Page Six the actor "was a 'nightmare,' insisting on a separate green room and rewriting the script up until the last minute. 'And it wasn't even funny,'said the source." [P6]

• Wait, what? Luxury brand LVMH acquires yacht company. [WWD]
• After months of speculation, minimalist label Jil Sander sold to Japan's Onward Holdings Co. [WSJ]
• Gryphon designer Amy Cho meets fashion halfway with a "Responsible Fur" initiative, which encourages the use of "recycled" vintage furs and extra-soft fakes. Methinks we love her. [Style.com]
• Baggy jeans are back. Not Katie-Holmes sloppy, either: these Bottega Veneat guys are more early-90s harem. [The Life Files]
• Buckingham Palace guardsmen may switch from real bearskin hats to Stella McCartney fauxs after animal rights activists meet with Ministry of Defense. [Daily Mail]
• Following in the footsteps of Vera Wang, various penniless freelancers, Oscar de la Renta will be a guest-blogger on Brides.com. "He'll be writing about wedding choices on dresses, jewelry and destinations. " [WWD]
• In a desperate bid to lure back-to-schoolers, mid-price retailers pull out all the stops. "Kohl's launched six lines of clothing this summer with a star-studded advertising campaign featuring celebrities from including Lenny Kravitz and Hayden Panettiere. JCPenney introduced another half-a-dozen labels, the department store's biggest crop of new brands, with looks ranging from urban rock to all-American. And Dillard's is chasing soccer moms with a line designed by Sheryl Crow that hit stores last month." Wait...Lenny Kravitz? [LAT]
• Style.com is branching out. "On Sept. 2, the site will debut Shop Now, where designer advertisers can pay to have their brands featured." Or, to have them considered: the editors will decide which of the submissions to feature. [MediaWeek]
• To celebrate its centennial, venerable makeup brand Max Factor has treated itself to Gisele Bundchen. For a campaign, I mean. [ElleUK]
• The relatively youthful British Harper's Bazaar is thriving. [Independent]
• Wait, isn't this what the internets do? The new magazine Distill "will present a digested read of the style and fashion press from all over the world, offering a shorthand guide to what and who are in fashion, and how those trends are being captured and covered." [Independent]
• Guess legendary photog Patrick Demarchelier likes his work. "I love all women. Women are sublime beings. I love all of it: their eyes, their noses, their bodies." [Telegraph]
• You know there's a problem when models are complaining that they're too thin: says Karen Elson, "Fashion is obsessed with finding young, beautiful and vulnerable girls, bringing them into the fashion world, praising them, worshipping them but suddenly dropping them like a stone when they hit puberty and grow boobs and hips. It's so dangerous and can potentially harm the girls mentally and physically." [Guardian]
• Shockingly, real designers don't want to dress Heidi Montag. "They don’t want their stuff on Heidi, even despite the fact that she is very media-friendly and is photographed a lot," the rep said. "It’s just not the caliber of celebrity most clients go for." [The Superficial]
• Sadie Frost arranges celeb auction for breast cancer. The haul? "Here are the black peep-toe size 38 Christian Louboutins which “Kate” has signed and covered with graffiti love hearts, a dress belonging to Amy Winehouse, a suit Jude Law wore on the set of Alfie, a guitar donated by Kasabian guitarist Jay Mehler, a Jake Chapman picture." [This Is London]
• Tamara Mellon's ex, Matthew, is hoping second time's the charm: "Mellon has joined forces with his new bride-to-be, designer Nicole Hanley, to introduce Hanley-Mellon, a clothing line that will launch for spring 2009. “It’s a mix of Chloé, YSL and bohemian chic,' Mellon told WWD." [WWD]

• Sean Combs's new fragrance, "I Am King" will premiere as a Macy's exclusive in December. 'I Am King is a statement about all men,” said Combs, during an interview at his Bad Boy Entertainment offices in Manhattan. “We are all descendents of royalty — and if we carry ourselves and respect ourselves in that manner and believe in ourselves, then we are all kings." The new fragrance, he says, is "more about sophistication. It’s strong and also sexy, with an elegance and simplicity to it.” [WWD]
• More on how design chief Patrick Robinson is trying to make The Gap cool. Can't they just...you know, carry better clothes? [Business Week]
• Lydia Hearst says she's not like Paris Hilton, ruins it by calling herself a "supermodel." "Don't ever compare New York media heiress Lydia Hearst to Paris Hilton. "Remember: I am a supermodel and have the award to prove it, and she is a celebrity. There's no comparison." [Page Six]

• Oy. Armchair activists Benetton bring their usual brand of asinine commentary to the Beijing Olympics. "Benetton on Friday took out double-page advertising spreads in a number of leading news dailies worldwide, showing a Tibetan monk and a Chinese soldier praying face to face under the word 'Victims.'" They also show pictures of Sichuan earthquake victims (Benetton supports the Red Cross) and explain that their work “attempts to make a small contribution to dialogue and engagement between Tibetan and Chinese people." [WWD]
• Judge awards LVMH huge payout from Canadian counterfeiters. [WWD]
• Bollywood spawn makes like Hollywood spawn, launches clothing line. Riddhima Kapoor, daughter of well known Bollywood actors Neetu and Rishi Kapoor, has names her line"ARA"."My collection makes a girl look hot. It is sensual but, at the same time, it's not at all vulgar. You just have to be yourself in these clothes," [Hindustan Times]
• Philllips de Pury & Co are hosting an auction of "hip hop's crown jewels" including bling "sported by 50 Cent, Biz Markie, MC Lyte, Kanye West and the late Notorious B.I.G and Tupac Shakur." [Fashion Week Daily"]
• The popular kids aren't shopping either! Along with Hot Topic, Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle sales are down. [Wall Street Journal]
• Designers Amy Molyneaux and Percy Parker are dressing phones. "BlackBerry smartphones are now an integral part of everyday life, so it's great to be given the opportunity to add some extra glamour to the way in which they can be carried," explain the design duo, who have taken inspiration from BlackBerry's magenta, silver and midnight blue colour palette."We've taken the stunning colours from the new summer range and really brought them to life through our pouch design. The combination pouch and handset will make even the most stylish fashionista stand out." [VogueUK]
• Andre 3000 has made it. Into The Sartorialist. [The Sartorialist]
• Polo profits up. I guess the rich are different! [WWD]
• And Ralph Lauren is sensitive about his age. [WWD]
• The same people who let all those fashionistas DJ are now letting them make films. "The aim of the project is to give stars of the fashion world the opportunity to show off their clothes and the spirit of their label in any way they see fit. Among the line-up of participants are Pierre Hardy, Peter Jensen, Todd Lynn and Rodarte. Each designer has produced a film between 30 seconds and three minutes long - and judging from the stills that we've seen each promises to be quite a spectacle." [ElleUK]
• Reebok is teaming up with toy co. Hasbro to launch a Monopoly sneaker. I want the thimble. [Fashionista]

[New York, August 4. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

• The Man is cashing in on National Underwear Day, this ridiculous thing they do in Times Square every year with people running around in undies. This year, those wags will be competing with the pros: "Diesel, Natori, Nautica, Tommy Hilfiger and 2Xist underwear brands will have hotties strutting in their skivvies in a runway show at Espace on Aug. 5. "Lydia Hearst [Who models for Myla - ed] be 10 runway shows."" [Page Six]
• Speaking of unmentionables, Sadie Frost (aka Jude's ex)'s skivvies co, Frost-French, has gone bust to the tune of owing a ton of money. Sources say the actress is devastated. [Mirror]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is teaming up with Saks Fifth Avenue to front its Key to the Cure campaign, a women's cancer initiative. Mrs. Martin will appear in promos and, presumably, sport the tee that Karl Lagerfeld designed for the occasion. [UPI]
• Also in celeb endorsements, apparently Solange Knowles is the new face of Armani Jeans. Quoth Girogio, “Armani Jeans expresses my vision of a young, independent, casual lifestyle with a strong and cool, fashion sensibility. Solange epitomises this style perfectly and brings to it that swing so evident in her new single, I Decided." [Sassybella]

• Diane Von Furstenberg was unanimously reelected head of the Council of Fashion Designers of America. In the past year the CFDA has been active in promoting awareness of health issues in the industry. [WWD]
• Molly Ringwald: "I never thought of myself as an icon...my style was from necessity; my parents kept me on on allowance." [Star Tribune]
• Agyness Deyn is living the American dream, with an apt. in hipster-central Williamsburg, Brooklyn and a brand-new Yank PA. "The girl is responsible for keeping track of Agyness' schedule, travel plans, and general well being, which sounds like the easiest job in the world, since while it's true she's one of the busiest working models right now, she's also one of the nicest and most easygoing that we've ever met." [Fashionista]
• An enormous pair of Queen Victoria's bloomers, dating from the 1890s, just sold at auction for nine grand. Auctioneer Charles Hanson described the 50-inch knickers as belonging to '"a very big lady of quite small stature with a very wide girth." She was said to be 5 feet (1.52 meters) tall.' [AP]
• That woven dress that so wowed Natalie Portman on the second episode of Project Runway? Already sold out on Bluefly. Suede, obviously, released a statement. “I was so excited about this challenge and really wanted to win. Selling my dress on Bluefly is the opportunity of a lifetime. I knew I had to pull out all of the stops to impress this client and especially celebrity judge Natalie Portman, and Suede, "ROCKED IT!" And, now to see the customers responding to my "winning look" like this what a thrill. It is a million times better than immunity! Suede LOVES that!!!" [NY Mag]
• Polo takes Rugby online. [WWD]
• The new crop of Gap ads — featuring the daughter of French Vogue editirice Carine Roitfeld, sont arives! [Fashionista]
• David "Mulder" Duchovny is, for some reason, part of sportswear company Johnston and Murphy's push to be more relevant. "The ads show Duchovny, with a pensive look on his face, wearing Johnston & Murphy sportswear and shoes and, in some creative, accompanied by accessories such as a briefcase and other leather goods. Text reads: "Johnston, Murphy & Duchovny."" [BrandWeek]
• Defying the market, Avon profits jump. [New York Times]
• Bloomingdales to open SpaceNK boutiques within stores. [WWD]
• DKNY collabs with Chandon on sparkling wine. [VogueUK]
• Kinda thought it was still summer, but fashion says No! How to wear 'transitional' clothes. [ElleUK]

The Good:
Shoshanna Gruss wears clear colors beautifully. I also really like how well her designs accommodate breasts.
I was seriously conflicted about the constellations on Lydia Hearst's breasts (whoa, sorry, I'm like Russ Meyer over here today), but overall, she looks lovely.
Loud, yes. But Ashanti's young and I think this is fun. Plus, the belt breaks it up and the shape's terrific.
Oh, gang, I wish there were a better shot of Natasha Bedingfield's outfit. There were enough partial views and shots with bits of the bodice in them that by careful deconstructive work I was able to determine that her dress is, in fact, very cute.

The Bad
Olivia Palermo: go to jail, go directly to jail. Your dress is covered in spangles, and topped with a lace-trimmed vest.
Full disclosure: I own more than one Charlotte Ronson garment. She looks absurd. Also, like an American Apparel mannequin. (And yes, I realize that's a redundancy.)
Can I express to you my boredom with the shrink-wrapped strapless minidress? Sure, Julie Henderson has the figure for it. But it's profoundly uninteresting without being classic. (Can you tell I'm just trying to avoid using the "I'm over it" construction? So arbitrary and dismissive, it is.)
Nicky Hilton might have gotten a pass on this Missoni-esque number if she hadn't gone and added an equally busy python platform.
I agree, Carmen Kass doesn't look terrible; she's probably incapable of it. But the more I look at this outfit, the more convinced I become that it involved a striking disharmony of proportion and approximately five busy details too many.
Can we put Dina Lohan in here on the basis of hair? My 8 Ball says it is decidedly so.


The Ugly:
I feel a little bad putting inker Kat Von D here, since this is basically just how she dresses. The fact that she wouldn't give a fuck is a palliative.

Images via Getty

• Lindsay Lohan: Protective of lady love Samantha Ronson. A source says "Ashley Olsen said hello to Sam at [NYC hotspot Beatrice Inn], and Lindsay screamed at her, 'Get your 15-year-old Full House ass away from my girlfriend.'" [Page Six]
  
• And don't forget! Even though LL was in AA, she downed vodka cocktails all night. [Gatecrasher]
  
• Here's how Lindsay looked on her way home: Drunk. [ONTD]
  
• Ali Lohan will make her screen debut in Mostly Ghostly, a flick based on an R.L. Stine book. She'll play a "popular high school senior." A mean girl maybe? [People]
  
• Emma "Hermione Granger" Watson celebrated her 18th birthday by flashing her see-through underwear to paparazzi. [Page Six]

• Whitney Houston attended a boxing match in Las Vegas Saturday night and was "practically carried in by her staff." Plus, her people "snapped their fingers, saying 'Whitney needs a waitress!'" Once a diva, always a diva. [Page Six]
• Heiress/model Lydia Hearst: Joining the cast of Gossip Girl? OMFG. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which celebrity stylist, who should know better, has been blabbing in L.A. that a particular designer has tumbled off the wagon - again?" [Gatecrasher]
• Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had a double date with Nicole Richie and Joel Madden last week. Tattoos, flat-ironed hair and skinny jeans unite! [E!]
• Suri Cruise turned 2 on April 18 and her party was low-key: Coloring, cake, bowling. [MSNBC]
• Connor Cruise, the Tom and Nicole kid you never hear about, will make his film debut in an upcoming Will Smith movie. Connor will play a young version of Will and allegedly had to audition, even though Tom and Will are buddies. Well, he got the part, praise Xenu. [People]
• Dave Chappelle's former manager is suing him for 10% of the cash Dave's made since he fired the guy in 2005. Mo money, mo problems. [TMZ]
• David Hasselhoff was in the hospital over the weekend because stitches above his eye opened up and he was bleeding. America's got sutures. [TMZ]
• Jordin Sparks had "acute vocal cord hemorrhage" this weekend, igniting rumors that she'd never sing again. Even though she's canceled a bunch of tour dates, she should be back on the road in May. [TMZ]
• Gail O'Grady of NYPD Blue owes Caesars Palace $160,000 and Bally's $75,000 in gambling debts. What happens in Vegas stays on your credit report. [TMZ]
• Kanye West's former fiancée is "sad" about their broken engagement, but Alexis Phifer says, "I wish him the best in his future and all of his endeavors. He's one of the most talented people I've ever met." [People]
• Ewan McGregor had a skin cancer scare and had some moles removed. "I went to have them checked because you have to be careful if you are pale skinned with moles and you spend time in the sun." [Mirror]
• In attendance at Victoria Beckham's birthday party Saturday night: Kate Beckinsale, Eva Longoria, Gwen Stefani, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Diddy, Will Smith, Gavin Rossdale, Usher and Elton John. [The Sun]
• Terrence "baby wipes" Howard hosted a listening session for his debut album yesterday. Yeah, he sings. He began writing songs at age 16 in his "rainbow colored notebook." The album has a jazzy, big band feel but no word if there are any songs about the "serious problem" of women being unclean. [People]
• Platinum country music artist Taylor Swift went to her senior prom Saturday night. Her date was chosen from 50 applicants via MTV but Taylor says "He was unbelievably sweet." [People]
• Supermodel and ex-wife of Mick Jagger Jerry Hall is revealing that growing up, her father was violent, physically and verbally abusive. [Mirror]
• Antonia Kidman, sister of Nicole, won the Favorite Female Personality prize at an Australian TV awards show. She hosts a program called From Here To Maternity. [News.com.au]
• Thirteen year old Lourdes Ciccone Leon wants to live in New York with daddy Carlos. Haha. Will Madonna's seamy New York past live again, through her daughter? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Meanwhile, Madonna's new single went to No. 1 on both sides of the Atlantic and the headline of this story is: "Madonna: More Clout Than The Beatles, All By Herself... And Wearing Heels." [Times]
• David Blaine is in training to break the world record for breath-holding. BTW, he's not just a magician, he's an "endurance artist." So. [NY Times]
• Did Heather Mills lie about having a sad childhood? [The Sun]
• A Wendy Williams talk show? Sounds crazy, in a good way. [Variety]
• "I'm late all the time. I have no perception of time. Time is for white people. It doesn't work with me." — Erykah Badu. [Perez Hilton]

[Images via AP and Getty.]

"I sit down and I write what I'm thinking and what I feel—it happens all at once, I never stop writing. Probably when I go home tonight, I'm going to open my computer and just start typing... I always envision myself being a Hemingway type—sitting in a dark corner with my glass of, I guess it would be, my glass of tequila and lime juice— that's how I do it."

Because there is a lesson we can learn from Lydia Hearst's nauseating brand of idiocy, and it's much more mass-market than "Models should probably all have their voice boxes removed."

It's that if you find yourself ever talking about how you are "different" like that is a good thing, you are definitely actually just a narcissist. Also, cocaine is the quickest way to make everyone hate you.

Lydia Unleashed (as in, your puke will become...) [New York Observer]

• NY Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn continues to stick up for homeboy Marc Jacobs on her blog, disclosing that he personally dressed all of the models in his much-delayed show and that "if you're always under pressure, I suppose you're going to be more sensitive to the things you absolutely can control." Aw, tear? [NY Times]
  
• The Dress Barn's profits rocketed an amazing 38% this quarter. Um, what? Developing... [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Okay, we totally attended the wrong Fashion Week. Prince performed live at the Matthew Williamson show in London. [Vogue UK]
  
• Also at London fashion week: Courtney Love tripped Kate Moss, who went tumbling upon entering; someone spilled a drink on Anna Wintour; and Jade Jagger and Christian Louboutin were having "a private chat" (a private really ANIMATED and EXUBERANT chat, we're assuming) in the women's restroom. This is all at one party. [Vogue UK]

• Speaking of parties, the Christopher Kane afterparty was so good Agyness Deyn had to wait in line. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Things we did not know about Karl Lagerfeld that we learned just from reading a 300-word item about the forthcoming documentary about him: He has been sexually active since age 13, his family calls him "Shirley Temple," his bedroom looks just like mine, he talks trash about the former Chanel ("When I took on Chanel, it was a sleeping beauty. And not even a beautiful one. She snored'). [Vogue UK]
• Models/modelish types appearing in the Cavalli for H&M ads: Erin Wasson, Jessica Stam, Theodora Richards, Nicolas Malleville, Sean Lennon, Jane Schmitt, Lydia Hearst, Astrid Muñoz, Julia Restoin-Roitfeld, Anouck Lepère. [WWD, 1st item]
• Stella McCartney is adding a golf line to her Stella-for-Adidas label. Says McCartney, "I think it is about time that women who play golf can now echo what they wear in everyday life on the green." On our list of things it's about time for, this, uh, doesn't even make our pile of rejected ideas. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Publishing heiress Lydia Hearst previews her new line of "Lydia" bags for Puma with the following deep thoughts: "I'm not the same person today that I will be tomorrow—I'm constantly changing. Even though it's the same bag, they're all completely different..." Right, they come in three colors. [FWD]
  
• Days after Polo announces a profit-soaked quarter, J. Crew announces it, too, is raking it in. Do we sense a trend? [TheStreet]
  
• In stage three of the ongoing construction of the celebrity-sartorial-complex, Hollywood moguls are swarming fashion industry executive suites. To which fashion insiders protest: "But Hollywood is too fixated on short-term buzz to ever understand fashion! To which we say: "Hahahahahahaha!" [WWD]
  
• Despite fashion critic Cathy Horyn's endorsement of their cargo pants, Wal-Mart is shifting its focus away from "trendy" pieces back to under-$20 basics. [WWD]

• Photographer Mario Testino has a secret crush on... Mario Testino! Or so he told crowds at the London College of Fashion when asked who his favorite photographer was. [Vogue UK]
• To the underwhelm-ment of activists, Nike says it wants the people who make its sneakers to fare better, announcing efforts to prevent excessive overtime amongst its factory employees and providing them education regarding unionization. [WSJ]
• You can buy a pair of jeans in England for the same price of a cup of coffee? Seriously? [Guardian]