[New York, June 22. Image via INF]

• Luke Wilson is back in Austin, Texas for the holidays, and he's spending them at the Yellow Rose gentlemen's club. Ol' Luke was "getting lap dances and rocking out" to heavy metal. [Page Six]

• Ostensibly the same thieves who stole millions worth of Paris Hilton's jewelery last week have also robbed Erin Wasson. Wasson was unfortunately home during the robbery. Like Hilton, she had also left her door unlocked."Tens of thousands of dollars of jewelry and designer clothing," were stolen from Wasson's abode, "including pieces by Alexander McQueen, Ann Demeulemeester, Dior, Givenchy and William Rast." A prominent publicist living nearby was also robbed. [Page Six]
• Speaking of Paris, rumor is that she and Benji Madden are back on. Says a source, “They are completely still hooking up." [The Superficial]
• This is getting completely ridiculous: apparently at the (probably staged) Los Angeles courthouse ceremony, Spencer refused to say "I do" after Heidi had already said it. Because, according to E!, "In an apparent act of consideration for his prettier half, the bearded one decided to wait. The reason given? The two plan to create a fantasy ceremony for Heidi that would include patching things up with her family, who were disappointed to have been shut out of the couple's ring exchange." [E! Online]
• Trouble in J.Lo's perfect marriage? Both Jennifer and Marc Anthony have recently been photographed without their wedding rings. Also: a source tells Page Six that J.Lo sent her assistant on tour with Marc to make sure he didn't stick his willie where it wasn't supposed to go. Hmm! [Page Six]
• Jeremy Piven's Speed the Plow castmates aren't buying his "sushi defense" — that he left the show because of Mercury poisoning due to excessive sushi intake. After the first performance sans-Piven, former co-star Raul Esparza told the audience, "Today was the first time I really enjoyed playing this show. I hope you weren't expecting a big TV star." Damn, yo. [NYM]
• Apparently the hand injury Shia LaBeouf sustained in his DUI car crash earlier this year is fairly serious, much more so than has been admitted in the past. “Shia’s tendons had fused together, and right after the accident there was talk of a partial amputation," a source tells the Daily News. Good thing he's an actor and not any other job where he'd actually have to suffer the consequences: the writers for the Transformers sequel wrote his injury into the plot. [NYDN]
• Like girlfriend Lindsay Lohan before her, Sam Ronson was hospitalized over the weekend for "exhaustion." Some are speculating that "exhaustion" is actually code for "depression" while others are speculating that "exhaustion" actually means "coke bender." She's already out of the hospital and feeling better. [NYM, Jossip]
• Revolutionary Road director Sam Mendes on filming his wife Kate Winslet doing Leonardo DiCaprio: "a profoundly weird experience…[I had to watch from another room and shout] 'Leo, don't bang her head so hard against the kitchen cabinets…Could you not do it for so long this time?'" [Page Six]
• How much does it cost to wrangle Britney Spears? $16,125, according to a judge. That's the amount of Britney's money her dad, Jamie, will be given per month to continue taking care of his daughter's financial affairs. Her brother Bryan will receive $200,000 for the things he did for Brit before his father was named official conservator. [TMZ]
• Courteney Cox says that divorce from husband David Arquette isn't something she'd ever consider. "I don't know what the future's going to hold, but divorce isn't really an option," Cox says. She says the couple attends counseling to work on their issues. “Therapy helps us. It's so easy to grow apart; marriage takes work. I suppose you can work it out by talking to each other — I would just prefer to have a referee, it reminds us why we're together.” That actually sounds sane. Good for her! [MSNBC]
• Apparently John Mayer hates Jennifer Aniston's dogs, Norman and Dolly, just like he hated ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson's tiny lap puppy, Daisy. [Dlisted]
• Aw, Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson won't show strangers her boobs anymore now that she's in luuurve. “She’s changed so much. She’s not even the same person. … She doesn’t flash anymore. She’s a lot more conservative. She’s so in love," says fellow Bunny Bridget. [NYDN]
• Kirsten Dunst's stalker, Christopher Smith, has been "forbidden from owning (or possessing) a gun, and/or coming anywhere near Dunst, where she lives, her personal assistant or where she works." He showed up at Kiki's house over Thanksgiving and scared the crap out of her. Good thing she's getting the legal protection she needs. [ASL]
• Pete Wentz: Ashlee's breast milk tastes "weird." Pete Wentz: please stop. [E! Online]

[St. Andrews, Scotland; October 2. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Ryan Gosling. Rachel McAdams. Back together. [Perez Hilton]
• Ellen blogs about her nuptials! "I had a big, big weekend. I got married to Portia de Rossi! Sorry, John Stamos… this one's taken. The wedding was everything we hoped it could be. I wish I could've invited all of you. But I have some pictures and video I can show you when Season 6 starts on September 8. I can't wait to see them too… it was all a blur. Blissfully yours, The just married Mrs. DeGeneres." [ET]
• LeRoi Moore, the sax player in the Dave Matthews Band, has died. He was injured in an ATV accident June 30 and suffered a punctured lung and broken ribs. Sudden complications from that accident sent him to the hospital yesterday, where he passed away unexpectedly. He was 46. [TMZ]
• Here's the latest on the Aniston/Mayer breakup: A source says, "She is so intent on getting married and having children, he felt hemmed in. After a 20-minute phone conversation, he just said, 'I can't take it any more,' and hung up. Then he texted, 'That's it - the end.'" Pretty please, can this be THE END of reports about these two? [Mirror]

• Madonna drank "Crack Baby" shots on her birthday, which are made with vodka and champagne. Blech. [Page Six]
• Elizabeth Taylor is back home and doing well after being hospitalized. She's planning trips to Europe and Hawaii and weighing in on holiday packaging for her perfume line White Diamonds. Be well, Liz! [Yahoo News]
• What you didn't see on The Hills: Heidi and Spencer running their mouths. Oh, and apparently Lauren went out with Doug Reinhardt back when she was in high school. [E!]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham is preparing to sue a U.K. magazine over an article claiming she's "hooked on sex and diet pills." Apparently she doesn't take diet pills. No word on the sex. [Yahoo News]
• Michael Phelps' Saturday night race pulled a hell of a lot of viewers for NBC, but The Golden Girls is still the most-watched Saturday night show of the last 18 years. Thank you for being a friend! [Yahoo News]
• BTdubs, swimmer Amanda Beard is not dating Michael Phelps. "Ew, no!" she says. [MSNBC]
• Revealed! Jessica Alba's baby weight-loss plan! Low-fat, low-carb diet! Core exercises! Cardio and circuit training! Working out with a girlfriend! Kill me now! [People]
• Sharon Stone, 50, is dating a dude named Chase who is 24. That is all. [Perez Hilton]
• This report says that Balthazar Getty's wife Rosetta is convinced he started hooking up with Sienna when he and Rosetta were still together. Sick of this story yet? [Mirror]
• Chris Martin says he'll never trash a hotel room — because he used to clean them. "When you’re a cleaner and you walk into a trashed room, it’s truly annoying… Spare a thought for the poor schmuck cleaning the room." [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse has booked into a rehab clinic just a short drive from Blake Incarcerated's jail. [The Sun]
• The Australian men's sailing team won a gold medal yesterday after getting a good luck call from Nicole Kidman. The guy didn't pick up at first: True story! [People]
• Theyyyyy're here! Poltergeist remake, in the works. Stay away from the light, Carole Anne! [Variety]
• Leona Lewis, Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Miley Cyrus and Rihanna have teamed up for a charity track, "Just Stand Up." There will be a Just Stand Up To Cancer TV special on September 5; the song should hit iTunes a few days earlier. [The Sun]
• Apparently Sir Bob Geldof has been dealing with the stress from daughter Peaches' antics by going dancing. Sometimes what they call "gossip" isn't. [The Sun]
• A sneak peek of Sanjaya's Nationwide Mutual Insurance commercial, in which he has lots of different hairstyles. [People]
• Luke Wilson might be dating a Yale-educated lawyer named Meg Simpson. Stay Tuned. [Village Voice]
• James Hetfield of Metallica erected a fence on his California property which blocks access to a fire road used by hikers and equestrians. Kill 'em all! [UPI]
• Jessica Simpson is doing beer ads for Dallas' Stampede Brewing Co. Classy. [Yahoo News]
• Spotted: Al Pacino wearing blue nail polish. [Mirror]
• Paris Hilton is taking that crappy best friend show idea to London. Sorry, Brits! [Guardian]
• A leading Italian medial group doesn't want ER or Grey's Anatomy to air on Italian television: "These programs are teaching viewers inaccurate views on medicine," says Annalisa Silvestro, president of the National Federation of Medical College. "They are spreading misinformation." It's called entertainment, no? [Yahoo News]
• Roger Moore has a book coming out in November; a memoir called My Word Is Bond. He recalls crashing a boat while filming Live And Let Die, cracking his front teeth and twisting his knee. "There I was, as a fearless 007, hobbling on a cane to my boat and then pretending to be indestructible for the cameras. Who says I can't act?" [AP]
• Pete Doherty's band is banned from the Moonfest festival in Westbury, Wiltshire, next week. The police say: "We carried out an analysis of what Pete Doherty and his band does. What he does as part of his routine is to gee up the crowd. They speed up and then slow down the music and create a whirlpool effect in the crowd. They [the crowd] all get geed up and then they start fighting." Um, ok. [Guardian]
• Gossip straight outta 1992: Kurt Cobain vs. Axl Rose; Stephanie Seymour vs. Courtney Love. [Rush & Molloy]
• Headline of the day: "I Want An IVF Baby With My Fifth Husband After I've Posed For Playboy, Says Surgically Remodelled Brigitte Nielsen." [This Is London]
• Gary Glitter was supposed to be deported to the UK, but he conveniently collapsed in a Thai airport hotel room complaining about his heart. [Guardian]
• "It's very difficult to be a career person and have a relationship. I didn't succeed at doing it at all. It's incredibly hard… I empowered myself by not staying in the thing with Russell [Crowe]. I felt it was going to be repeating some similar patterns that I'd just gotten out of and it was a drag because I was crazy about him." — Meg Ryan. [Daily Mail]
• "It was my first nude scene and it wasn’t supposed to be me. I had a body double and we had some complicating factors with her. It was sort of a last minute thing, where I said, 'I’ll just go ahead and do this.' I was really uncomfortable. This crew that I’d been working with, that knows me when I put on my producer hat, suddenly sees me naked. It was really humiliating." — Anna Faris, on The House Bunny. [ONTD]
• "It's fatal when actresses use Botox. I remember seeing Cold Mountain, and it really looked to me like Nicole Kidman had been using it. Her face was neither sad nor glad — nor anything, she was just like a painted doll. I thought: 'Why would she do that?'" — Britt Ekland, the Bond girl once married to Peter Sellers. [Page Six]

[LAX, August 5. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, July 5. Image via INFDaily.]

[Santa Monica, June 4. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Luke Wilson is "designing" a line of golf products and accessories for Puma. Ah, the insatiable American hunger for the consumption of stuff and celebrity! Or the perception of the insatiability, or whatever. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Speaking of! Rod Stewart is launching a clothing line. [Guardian]
  
• Donna Karan is doing Passover with Demi and Ashton in Miami. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Really, how much longer can Christian Siriano hold congratulatory celebrations for himself? [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Elle Macpherson is the latest face of Revlon. [WWD, sub req'd]

• English girl designers Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig are adding a bridal collection for their label, Marchesa, to debut next month. Chapman made herself not one but two wedding dresses for her recent nuptials to Harvey Weinstein, so she's totally qualified, btw. [WWD, 1st item]
• Marc Jacobs is already fighting with his new boyfriend, Austin A. Also: partying in sweatpants and wife-beaters.[Page Six]
• Mary J. Blige is taking sellers of knockoff Mary J. Blige concert tees to court. [Page Six]
• George Clooney may not be doing his own clothing line, but he does wear Belstaff in his upcoming film Leatherheads and the Italian label is sponsoring the film's European premiere. [Vogue UK]
• Steve McQueen also did not do his own clothing line. Though we think the fact that he's dead should have been evidence enough. [Reuters]
• Israeli fashion is apparently on the rise. I am going to be polite here and pretend like the words "Israeli style" don't actually evoke any sort of mental image for me because I love my people. But. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier: Dressing Kylie Minogue for her upcoming tour. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Azzedine Alaia just received a French Legion of Honor. Who? What? [WWD, 1st item]
• Tom Ford has designs on Japan. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Stella McCartney is heading to India. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Agyness Deyn continues to find work. [The Sun UK]
• Drinking this water will apparently magically protect your skin from UV rays; LOL. [Chic Report]
• O.C. alum Samaire Armstrong: has a clothing line too. [Sassybella]
• How to recycle your clothing! [Utne]

• Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are divorcing. Which is heartbreaking. We just don't want to think of Princess Buttercup feeling sad. [People]
  
• Jessica Alba and baby daddy Cash Warren are making it legal and have announced their engagement. Honestly, does anyone care? [USA Today]
  
• Poor Amy Winehouse: Has to go to court in Norway to deal with a marijuana possession charge. Hasn't our girl been through enough? [People]
  
• Ashley Olsen: Now thinner than Mary-Kate. [MSNBC]
  
• Given that the Jessica Simpson-Luke Wilson romantic comedy Blonde Ambition that opened over Christmas grossed only about $1,000 at the box office, Simpson's next film project, Major Movie Star, will be headed straight for DVD. [Page Six]

• We think that 3,000 picketing writers would make for the best Golden Globes ever. [NYT]
• Is Sienna Miller getting engaged to Rhys Ifan for her birthday today? [The Sun]
• Awkwardness abounds as the studio tries to find a way to promote the Ryan Philippe/Abbie Cornish film Stop-Loss without making the focus being the fact that it was working together on the project that Philippe and Cornish started a relationship. [Page Six]
• Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus and her also-15-year-old beau Nick Jonas have broken up. We would say "Oh they're only 15, this isn't even a real relationship," but then we remember Jaime-Lynn Spears. [Page Six]
• Does the fact that Miley has some not-so-innocent photos floating around the Internet have anything to do with it? [MSNBC]
• Marisa Tomei: Goes to church! What would George Costanza say? [Page Six]
• Glenn Close says her role in Fatal Attraction saved her marriage. We say that's kinda weird. [Daily Mail]
• Rebecca De Mornay was charged by the Los Angeles D.A. yesterday for two counts of misdemeanor driving. [TMZ]

While on the whole, the picture is a bit more complicated than this, we think it's safe to say that on the whole, the less we know about wealthy people, the happier we are. But we bought People anyway and realized there are exceptions: reading erstwhile Scar-beau Ryan Reynolds testifying to the fact that money doesn't buy happiness can, in a small way, make us marginally sorta happier.

Says Ryan on the "swag at industry events":

I have very little patience with all that stuff. It's pretty crazy. It's like, 'Why don't you go to the Prada tent or the Adidas tent?' And you're like, 'Is this the free shoes for the rich program?' I don't understand. Why are all these people lining up? You made $20 million last year!