Yes, the string bikini is a "classic." That cannot be disputed. But does this one fit? Do the strings need to be tied a little tighter on that top? Do I sound like my mother?

Please to be explaining how this is "sporty." Also, will someone please help this woman? She is clearly stranded on some sharp rocks, and the hat won't be of service.

Just in case the swimsuits haven't been small enough for you, or haven't shown enough skin, here we have some cut-outs.

This is alright. But isn't it funny how the suits in Glamour, which offered more coverage, seemed more flattering to the body and less strained?

The single one-piece shown in this feature seems to lack both lining and support. It does offer boobsquash! Is this a desirable look?

Frankly, these cups could be a smidge wider.

This is a heavenly little suit, which is maybe why we only see one set of footprints.

Earlier: Lucky's "Month Of Outfits" Breaks The Bank
Lucky Editor Ponders Purchase Of $225 Sweat Shorts
Recessionistas: Lucky Will Help You Spend What Little Money You Have Left
Lucky Promotes "Nude" Shoes, But For Whom?
You'll Need Gold Bars To Afford Lucky's "Loose Change"
Lucky Magazine Brings Outrageous Fortune To The Less Fortunate
Ali Larter: Lucky Girl

• The Pussycat Dolls are launching a clothing line for La Senza. It's underwear...or is it? [The Sun]
• Fashion "designer" Lauren Conrad knows her demo: sorority sisters! [NY Magazine]
• Gwen Stefani and those four hapless Harajuku girls will be in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. Presumably their float will trail hers. [Racked]
• Chicago suiter makes hay: “Dressing Presidential. Pick Your Power Suit. President-elect Barack Obama Found His at Hart Schaffner Marx.” [WWD]

• Oh dear. Word is, Lucky is laying off editors. [Portfolio]
• Dame Vivienne Westwood's 'Chaos Point' show introduced her Gold Label line, raised money for environmental concerns. [ElleUK]
• Speaking of charity...here are the Dame's recessionista tips: “Women should try on their husband’s jackets and even boxer shorts for size as outer wear...Wearing political badges is also a great look and kerchiefs worn as knickers can be fun for the disco or beach. You can also tie tablecloths or even blankets around yourself to look good." [Daily Express]
• Plumes, Sarah Stein's new study of feathers —- and, by extension, of course, the fortunes of the millinery industry — is on our eccentric Christmas list. [WSJ]
• The NFL Shop is courting women. Seemingly, Jessica Simpson has failed to start a trend in skintight jerseys. [BrandWeek]
• Are we the only ones who find the Times' vicarious "critical shopper" column a despair? Especially when the clothes are as rad as these Oscar de la Rentas... [New York Times]
• Ralph Lauren donates $13 million towards the restoration of the Smithsonian's anthem-inspiring 200-year-old Old Glory. Well, he's made a lot of money off the stars and stripes; nice to give back. [USA Today]
• Do people still wear Docs? And would those people wear special-edition Raf Simons docs? [WWD]
• Cautious Burberry cuts costs. [WSJ]
• The drama of shopping H&M's new line! [Village Voice]
• Doll porn: "Nearly 90 dolls dressed by top designers were displayed at the Mini Palais in Paris Monday night ahead of an auction benefiting UNICEF. While most dolls were decked out sumptuous evening gowns by Lanvin or Oscar de la Renta, others were slipped into colorful and comfortable frocks, like Christian Lacroix’s freestyle patchwork. Chantal Thomass went cubist, making hers entirely with Ladurée pastry boxes." [WWD]
• A counterfeit bag plot thickens: is the mob involved? (The Godfather: Gucci edition.) [UPI]
• Designer Roksanda Ilinic: "When I go to the countryside or on a skiing holiday, I am always horribly under-equipped - I wear high heels when everyone else is in ski boots...It's a terrible mistake, but I can't say it won't happen again." Minus the part about holidays, skiing, and heels, we can totes relate! [VogueUK]

[Image via The Sun]

• Only one more day of having to listen to designers opine about politics! Marc Jacobs' L.A. windows are "set up with the Republicans menacingly on one side (with a particularly freaky-looking W) and brightly dressed Obama voters/supporters on the other. There's also a gun-toting Palin with a letter posted next to her image, which reads as follows: Dearest Citizens, I believe in, 1) No choice for you gals. 2) Creationism for you kids. 3) No rights for you gays and lesbians. 4) Everyone should own a gun! You gotta believe in something, baby!" [Racked]
• Stella McCartney throws an Obama-themed tea. I guess eating his face is an endorsement. [WWD]
• Meanwhile, Henri Bendel stays neutral: "Today, the store will unveil its bipartisan windows featuring a group of five mannequins dressed in the latest cocktail dresses from Chloé & Reese and Greta Constantine. The girls are flanked by red and blue polling booths, each one representing a political party. Today, each mannequin can be seen with a large question mark above its head, but Wednesday morning, the question marks will be removed and the group will be placed in front of the winning voting booth. Several pounds of confetti will be thrown over the group in celebration of that party’s win." [WWD]

• Rihanna's the face of Gucci's new "Tattoo Heart" campaign, which features, um, tattoo hearts on clothes. Some of the proceeds benefit Unicef. [Perez Hilton]
• The secret of Yves Saint Laurent's success? "He liked women to be beautiful." [Reuters]
• Wanna see a young female moddle in Lagerfeld drag? No? Don't click on this link. [FashionWeekDaily]
• Mod pioneer Mary Quant gets her own stamp! It features a mod bird in a mini and zip-top. [ElleUK]
• Did you know Zac Posen was a classically trained singer? Apparently it's why he's so into opera — hence his Lincoln Center arts leadership award for his commitment to supporting arts education. [WWD]
• Consignment stores continue to clean up. [WSJ]
• Apparently the new Kate Moss tell-all is a great read, even if it boils down to the moddle demanding, "Why the f**k can't I have fun all the time?" [Daily Mail]
• Speaking of models with drug scandals in their (recent) pasts: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley has a new gig as the face of dothegreenthing.com. [Fashionista]
• A moddle we can actually get behind? Alek Wek. "I'm working with my uncle in the Sudan embassy in London to open a secondary school on the Nile in Susan. It would be made up of 50 per cent boys and 50 per cent girls...My father always stressed education. I didn't understand it when I was young but I understand now." [VogueUK]
• Christian Siriano, modest as always: "Also, designing Heidi’s gown for the Emmys was amazing, especially when I went to the afterparty and met Debra Messing. Debra told me, “Oh my God, I love your clothes, you’re a genius!” You never know who’s going to be a fan of your work." [Cosmopolitan]
• The city grounds to a halt as we all get our vote on; the Nylon girls are "Gone Voting!" [Nylon]
• Retail extravaganza Lucky Shops looks undimmed by the economy! Encouraging, or depressing? [FashionWeekDaily]

• Newly-minted Louis Vuitton designer Sofia Coppola's road was not an easy one. "At the age when Marie-Antoinette was facing the rigid etiquette of the court of Versailles, the 15-year-old Coppola was working as an intern at Chanel in Paris, a city that her parents had always loved." No wonder, then, that "Coppola drew on a well of personal experience for the accessories. A gilded wedge ankle-strap sandal (€500) was stirred by the memory of her mother's Yves Saint Laurent shoes in the 1970s." We love a rags to riches story. [IHT]
• What Not To Wear good cop Clinton Kelly has thrown his hat into the competitive fabulosity ring. "In Freakin’ Fabulous: How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better Than Everyone Else, Kelly begins by taking the reader through his long journey toward “fabulousness,” which started prepuberty. 'While other kids on the elementary school playground were trading baseball cards and playing kickball, I was silently debating whether to spend my first paycheck on Italian suede driving shoes or on a cashmere coat,' he writes." [WWD]
• Designers won't loan gowns to Mad Men's resident bombshell Christina Hendricks! Too "curvy!" [Ephemerist]

• Presses stopped. Chanel, Moschino, Louis Vuitton, Sonia Rykiel, Stella McCartney and Christian Lacroix are all designing DOLLS for Unicef! [VogueUK]
• Which should please foppish hockey player cum novelty intern Sean Avery, who liked playing with dolls as a kid. Us too! [New York Magazine]
• As his trial progresses, creepy designer Anand Jon is looking more perv than rapist. [Radar]
• Travis Barker's fashion line (?) makes tee shirts to benefit families of the two victims of his plane crash. [UPI]
• Here's a pic. [People]
• Who whoa whoa. Sheryl Crow's alleged clothing line? "The first line is made up of about two dozen pieces developed by Crow's stylist and inspired by clothes from the singer's wardrobe." [IHT]
• Twiggy puts clothing swaps on TV in some kind of bid to beat the recession. [Daily Mail]
• Party girl Alice Dellal may be disinherited. Which will put her on a level with the rest of us. Oh, wait, she's a famous moddle. [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, male model Donald Carmichael robbed and shot in New York. Well, grazed. He's okay. [UPI]
• Almost all the cosmetics you use are poison. Wah-wah. [LA Times]
• The tone of international Fashion Week? Strictly Let Them Eat Cake. [Washington Post]
• Lucky editors claim their new style guide is actually really perfect for the recession. [The Budget Fashionista]
• Diesel plans unique stores worldwide. [WWD]
• Apparently literally every celeb in the world was at one of Diesel's 17 30th birthday parties. [ElleUK]
• Zahara Jolie-Pitt wears organic denim. It's $128. [Fashion Week Daily]
• The Glamouresque Wig Party is where celebrities design wigs. For charity, obvs. [Daily Mail]
• Relive your high school years — or mine, anyway! — with Screaming Mimi's online vintage. [FabSugar]
• Why choose between cognac and sneakers when you can wear the $300 Hennessy Celebration Hi-Top? [BlackBook]
• Want to read a list of Kate Moss's debaucheries? Yeah, set aside some time. [Daily Mail]
• Cosmetics are up. Well, we all need to cover dark circles these days. [Washington Post]
• Please let this be our last mention of male pantyhose. [News.com.au]
• The recession may speed consolidation in the fashion world. [WWD]
• So, want to wear a fake school uniform? No? Here are some options anyway. [Sassybella]

Gold-tone pocket watch, $325.

Our version: your cell phone. It already has a clock on it, so just stick it in your pocket for a convenienty take on Lucky's fashiony, gleamy idea.



Bobbi Brown lip crayon, $22.

Our version: real crayons. Why stop with plum when you can have burnt sienna and cerulean too? A 64-pack is only $5.99, and they're nontoxic, so you can smear them all over your mouth.



Embellished heels, $150-375.

Our version: draw on your Chuck Taylors, like in sixth grade. For that "metallic" look, use glitter pens.


Diamond "Chiodo" ring by Gucci, $6,990.

Our version: tie a string around your finger. It's a ring, and it's a vague reminder of something or other you have to do.



Isomers anti-redness serum, with cactus, $30.

Our version: just rub your face on a cactus. It won't get rid of the redness, but it will sure distract you.



70s-style saddlebag, $480.

Our version: your own saddlebags. Lucky's version stores lip crayons and expensive watches — ours store energy for the lean months ahead. We recommend lots of Ellio's Pizza to insulate your body and soul against the cold, cold world.

Lucky Magazine [Official Site]

Ring...............$1,100
Cardigan...........$545
Dress................$978
Hat....................$295
Boots.................$150
Eye makeup.........$18
Makeup brush......$32

Total: $3,118

The total amount of expensive shit being shilled in the September issues of Elle, Vogue, Bazaar, Lucky, Glamour, Marie Claire, W, and Allure: $6,949,006

The winner: Kimsama, who guessed $6,945,027.95, with a difference of $3,978.10.

CONGRATULATIONS!

E-mail dodai@jezebel.com to claim your prize. We'll be donating $200 in your name to the charity of your choosing… though that charity cannot be Condé Nast.

Thanks to everyone for playing.

Earlier: September Smackdown: Elle Vs. Vogue
September Smackdown: Allure Vs. Lucky
September Smackdown: Marie Claire Vs. Glamour
September Smackdown: Harper's Bazaar Vs. W

Allure

Apparel: $220,751 (most expensive item: Roberto Cavalli suede-and-lapin-lapis-and-lince [does anyone else think this sounds like some medieval spell?] fur coat, $20,275; least expensive: cotton nylon skirt, forever21.com, $19.80; average price: $2,299)

Accessories: $149,483 (most expensive item: Stephen Dweck sterling-silver necklace with citrine and horn, $19,200; least expensive: Rose rubber and crystal flip-flops, shopjamiekreitman.com, $55; average price: $1,643)

Beauty: $2,788 (most expensive item: tie between coloring services at Sally Hershberger Downtown and coloring services at Garren New York, both $300; least expensive: Crest Weekly Clean Intensive Cleaning Paste, $3.99; average price: $116)

[Allure had no "other" items.]

Total Shit: $373,022
Average: $1,768

Lucky

Apparel: $167,384 (most expensive item: Gucci viscose "Tasha" dress, $4,760; least expensive: tights, kushyfoot.com, $8; average price: $394)

Accessories: $155,608 (most expensive item: Gucci 18k gold charm bracelet, $5,050; least expensive: grosgrain belt, forever21.com, $7; average price: $408)

Beauty: $4,613 (most expensive item: Paul Mitchell Express 10n v.1 Dryer, $199; least expensive: Wet n Wild Silk Finish Lipstick, $2; average price: $26)

Other: $4,667 (most expensive item: tie between Garmin Navi 760 GPS and Samsung LN22A451 LCD HDTV [fewer letters next time, Samsung, kthxbai], both $600; least expensive: La Vie de la Vosgienne Lemon Drops, $3; average price: $272)

Total Shit: $332,272
Average: $332

Yes! Even with no "other" items and a poor showing in what should have been its strongest category, Allure comes from behind to vanquish Lucky, whose lowered total and average reveal it to be a plebeian publication by comparison. It's like when the Mighty Ducks transformed themselves from a ragtag bunch of loser kids into hockey champions! Except with more tinted moisturizer.

Winner: Allure

(Models were counted as being "ambiguous/mixed race" if we weren't sure what race they are (like the Kate Spade ads where the model was covered up), they were obviously of mixed race (Kimora Lee Simmons—still starring in her own ads!), or a non-European Hispanic woman.)

Here are the results:

Lucky:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 2 (2 celebrity/non-models)
• Total Black models: 16 (4 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 109 (11 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 16 (4 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 143
TOTAL ADS: 151

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 5
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1

TOTAL MODELS: 6
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 3

Cosmopolitan:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 15 (7 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 80 (12 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 9 (2 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 104
TOTAL ADS: 109

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 2 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 0

TOTAL MODELS: 2
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 2

Glamour:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 2 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total Black models: 14 (4 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 91 (12 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 10 (2 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 117
TOTAL ADS: 115

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 4 (2 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1

TOTAL MODELS: 5
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 4

Allure:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 15 (3 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 69 (9 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 12 (3 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 96
TOTAL ADS: 81

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 4
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1

TOTAL MODELS: 5
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 5

Teen Vogue:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 3
• Total Black models: 14 (4 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 83 (13 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 7 (3 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 74
TOTAL ADS: 94

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 1
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 2
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1 (1 celebrity/non-model)

TOTAL MODELS: 4
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 4

Marie Claire:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 3 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total Black models: 8 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total White models: 70 (7 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 13 (7 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 94
TOTAL ADS: 102

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 3
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1 (1 celebrity/non-model)

TOTAL MODELS: 4
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 5

Harper's Bazaar:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 3 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total Black models: 6 (1 celebrity/ non-model)
• Total White models: 140 (13 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 14 (5 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 163
TOTAL ADS: 152

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 2
• Total Black models: 3
• Total White models: 14
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 0

TOTAL MODELS: 19
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 12

Elle:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 4
• Total Black models: 14 (6 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 187 (12 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 16 (4 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 221
TOTAL ADS: 205

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 1
• Total White models: 9 (2 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 1 (1 celebrity/non-model)

TOTAL MODELS: 11
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 9

Vogue:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 7 (2 celebrity/non-models)
• Total Black models: 9 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total White models: 236 (14 celebrity non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 9 (3 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 261
TOTAL ADS: 214

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 0
• Total Black models: 0
• Total White models: 9 (1 celebrity/non-model)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 0

TOTAL MODELS: 9
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 7

Overall Totals:
Advertisements:
• Total Asian models: 24 (7 celebrity/non-models)
• Total Black models: 111 (31 celebrity/non-models)
• Total White models: 1,065 (93 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 106 (33 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 1,273
TOTAL ADS: 1,223

Fashion Spreads:
• Total Asian models: 3
• Total Black models: 4
• Total White models: 38 (6 celebrity/non-models)
• Total ambiguous race/mixed race models: 6 (3 celebrity/non-models)

TOTAL MODELS: 65
TOTAL FASHION SPREADS: 51

This means that in advertising, out of 1,273 ads, if 24 Asian models were used, that is 1.8% Asian. And 111 black models might seem like a lot, but that's actually 8.7% black. 1,065 white models out of 1,273 ads means the ads were 83% white.

As for the fashion spreads, 3 Asian models out of 65 means 4.6% Asian representation. And despite the efforts of Bazaar, the models were only 6% black.

Related:
Italian Vogue's Black Issue: A Guided Tour [Jezebel]
Fashion Week Runways Are Almost A Total Whitewash [Jezebel]

We'll be adding up all of the totals from all of the major September mags (Elle, Vogue, Bazaar, Lucky, Glamour, Marie Claire, W, and Allure) into one whopping sum. (So far, Elle's Total Shit: $1,562,100 and Vogue's Total Shit: $957,687.)

The reader who can predict the final total dollar amount — without going over — will win a $200 donation to the charity of her or his choice. You may submit your guesses in the comments, and you have until 12 noon tomorrow, EDT.

Good luck, and remember: Mink. Dipped in gold.

Earlier: September Smackdown: Elle Vs. Vogue

"The question is often raised whether a homeless, or hungry, or battered person can really appreciate or enjoy a lifestyle magazine like Lucky, filled with page after page of glorious, though seemingly irrelevant or unattainable trinkets," writes John Mennell at Subscribe to Literacy. To answer it, he turns to his own experience: "I may never own a 75 foot yacht, but my smile widens at the sight of a magazine cover filled with a classic sailing vessel bent windward." A blogger in his comfortable house dreaming of a yacht may not be in the same situation as a homeless person flipping through Lucky, and Lucky may actually be the worst magazine for homeless people because its advertorial pages are barely even interrupted by articles. But don't worry, says Mennell — wanting stuff is empowering:

For ourselves, we may wish to see things, not as they are today, but as they can be tomorrow. [...] It is not necessarily so much in their colorful, material glamor that magazines of any type create value for new readers. But, in in the access; the availability; the reach; and the freedom to read about those things that bring knowledge, pleasure and joy. In this, we are created equal.

Just as middle-class women are supposed to read Vogue in the hopes that they too will someday be able to afford a $64,000 gold-dipped fur, homeless women are supposed to read Lucky and dream of the day they can purchase a $198 Leather "Tenderness" boot by Arthur Chiang (p. 280). I get that someday having independence to buy your own stuff could be an important dream for someone who is unhoused, but if you scratch Mennell's argument you get the one women's magazines and their advertisers have been making since time immemorial: that we should aspire to have more stuff, that currently-unattainable clothes and accessories are somehow a symbol for our future happiness. Not only does this mindset encourage us to buy things we actually can't afford — a practice that may have rendered many people homeless in the first place (cf. subprime mortgage crisis) — it also perpetuates the culture of never-enoughness that is a huge problem for women.

We've said this often, but it bears repeating — some of the ugliest messages about female beauty come from "wonderful" women's magazines like Lucky. Sure, they have some lovely clothes, but I never feel as insufficient — or in as superficial a way — as I do when I finish a month's crop of them. They always make me feel that my greatest flaws are physical, and the best solutions are monetary — a brand of insecurity that seems particularly damaging for homeless or battered women. So while I applaud Condé for donating something, I can't say I like their choice.

A Lucky Day For Magazine Literacy [Magazine Literacy]

Perhaps you're looking for new ways to describe that healthy glow in your cheeks. How about "a natural I've-run-amok-in-a-sunny-field flush" (p. 232). For days when you're feeling a little less glowy, try "I-went-berserk-on-a-subway-train pallor."


Or maybe you're sick of boring old "smoky" eyeliner. Try Urban Decay's 24/7 Glide On Eye Pencil — according to Wende Zomnir in Lucky, it's "totally smokable" (p. 230). Toke up!



For those difficult lip-describing situations, pick up YSL Rouge Pure Shine No. 26. Lucky Beauty editor Jean Godfrey-June says it will make your lips more "lip-colored" (p. 246).



Not enough Colbert in your hair? Get Ricky's Rx Sensitive Series Hair Clips. They're "grippy" (p. 242).



And best of all, here's a new way to describe your favorite eye brightener: "dewifying" (p. 236). At first I thought this would somehow rid your face of the influence of the book Wifey, but actually it just makes you look more dewy — you know, like a baby. In fact, since babies are so hip this season, maybe you should take a page from their book and not talk at all. Instead just light up an eyeliner and go run amok someplace.

Lucky

On the left, a pretty woman in a complicated shawl sneaks home from a party late at night. And on the right, it looks like her pissed-off girlfriend has been waiting up with a plate of spaghetti. If shawl-girl is as guilty as she looks, that spaghetti is about to fly right at her head.

And, as promised, here's one more Mohr.
Remember this?

Here Lucky mixes an oddly blunt headline with its traditional euphemistic style. Which is it, Lucky — nasty all-caps BIG LEGS or nice polite "issues around the hips and thighs"? Either way, the answer is apparently a dirndl.

But other parts of your body can also be BIG! You've heard what to do if you're pear-shaped, top-heavy, or curvy — what if, like Erin Hinkle, you're tall and thin, but think your "shoulders are disproportionately wide"? According to Lucky you should "draw attention toward the center of your body" and away from those unsightly growths that hold your arms on.

If you're now reeling from all your newly discovered figure flaws, the Shoes of the Month are here to put things in perspective. These lovely yellow ballet flats are "the kind of shoe you live in" — a helpful nod to those Lucky readers who are old, and who have so many children they don't know what to do.