Jezebel 
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New York, 6:13 AM
Sat Nov 28
29 posts in the last 24 hours
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12/15/08
But we haven't.
12/15/08
I can see how sexism, chauvanism, and "gender roles" are largely about earning power, not just gender; Karen Karbo loses me after this. Especially the part where she's the lady, so she gets the house and alimony and child support (natch), nevermind that her husband was the one who removed himself from the workforce in order to raise their children.
If she really wants someone who will treat her as a complete equal, maybe that is something she should consider before marrying her next husband?
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12/15/08
Honestly, I have been fantasizing lately about having a partner. But it's not about being taken care of, for me, it's about having someone to help and depend on sometimes.
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12/15/08
Maybe that's a reality only those of us who have been married and divorced see (or appreciate), but it's there.
Dating instead of marrying means you get the fun and frolic without having to do his laundry or put the seat down. You get nights out and morning snuggles but when you don't feel like looking at him for a couple of days, you don't have to see him.
For some of those of us who have already done the marriage/raising kids thing, it makes for a much easier, happier life.
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12/15/08
i understand where the author is coming from, but how she words it is more than a little awful.
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12/15/08
The lesson I learned from my ex is that I want a partner. A male partner, yes, but someone able to take care of himself and potential children. They do exist. I've seen them (with their wives and children, not in the wild). I had to take care of my ex and it was assumed when we had children that he would just be another big child for me to take care of. And at the time I was okay with that, but now I understand that a guy who feels that way also feels no responsibility to stay with you because he always thinks he can get someone else to take care of him and I will never put myself in that position again. And now I have been single for a very, very long time.
12/15/08
My mom always complained growing up about having to be the breadwinner while my dad was in law school (and later when he became ill)- I think they probably never talked about their roles in the relationship before their marriage. (Like the financial repercussions of my father paying child support etc. to his first wife)
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12/15/08
Aren't you the commenter who defended that author who let her overweight son eat as much as he wanted but heckled and harassed her overweight daughter about her weight last year, with no justification whatsoever for her behavior? Wasn't that you?
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12/15/08
*headshake* So much to read into three innocent sentences.
And clearly you left a lasting impression just as charming as you are now - and not just on me, as I recall.
12/15/08
Last year I had this totally weird discussion with her that made me realize she thinks I'm going to get married to someone and let him support me financially. Every feminist instinct I have came from my mom, but deep down I think she expects me to be a traditional wife. Has anyone else had an experience like this? Realizing their mom (or whoever) has a totally different understanding of female independence than you thought they did?
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12/15/08
SO. MUCH. WORD.
What can I bribe you with to come talk with my mother, godmother, aunts, and assorted elder female friends of the family who seem to be commmitted -- with a vengeance -- to Just Not Getting It??
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12/15/08
Luckily we're not likely to get divorced, so the alimony situation won't arise.
But surely I wouldn't owe him if we did get divorced???!!!
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A good one.
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12/15/08
Jesus.