One awesome thing about moms joining Facebook or any other "new" social networking thing is how unjaded they are: technology that seems to us old-hat is a revelation, a source of excitement, a personal discovery (even several years into a phenomenon.) Whereas we don't wish to admit there's anything we don't know about - or at least suspected - those who've lived through a less technological age feel unconstrained to marvel. While we are already preemptively embarrassed by the crudeness of today's wonders, knowing there's something even better around the corner, moms are able to appreciate the wonder of what is.

Kids today have been hooked on Facebook for years, and by now have surely moved on to harder stuff: Twitter, the narcissists' heroin, makes Facebook look practically selfless in its expansiveness. But to Kristen Hansen Brakeman, a recent Facebook convert, the addiction comes as shocking.

I began to neglect my duties at the office, so busy was I uploading photos and posting links to hilarious videos. I learned to hide my omnipresent Facebook page by keeping a work-related document open on my desktop, which I would click on whenever my boss happened by...Then my kids began to infringe on my addiction. They would want meals or other irritating things like rides to school. "Just a minute, I have to check my Facebook. Oh, how cute; my friend Karen posted a new picture of her little baby."

What is it that we find so comically bizarre about older people doing this stuff? Is it what Brakeman describes, a neglect of parental duties which, even to adult kids, feels like a betrayal? Part of it is the fact that we want to hold tight to technology I'm sure - to say nothing of our privacy. I naturally queries ex-Jezebel Jessica, as an expert on all things Mom, who replied that "we present a certain version of ourselves to our parents, and that's not necessarily the version we're presenting to the internet world." (Which is ironic as they're two constructs of the same coin, to mix.) And you know what else? In a way, I think we want better for them. We know firsthand the soul-sucking, addictive, voyeuristic, petty, mean-spirited, superficial vapidity of this world and we wish to save them, in their innocence, from such horrors. We deserve no better; in a way, they do. It's undignified, of course, and while they may be blissfully ignorant of the sordid underpinnings of all such modes of communication, we all know there's a seediness to it - to even the most average photo album - that we'd rather protect them from. Beyond not wanting to deal with their reaction to a shot of you smoking a cigarette is the wish to shield them from it. But in a weird reversal of prior generations' roles, they're always nipping at our heels, forcing us on to the newest technologies, confident at least that it will be two years before they discover it. And on that note, we'd really discourage Brakeman from Twitter.

Finished With Facebook [Washington Post]
Mother Lode [New Yorker]

Q: How do I develop confidence that I will be a good mom?
Doree's Mom: There's no magic good mom potion, but as long as you realize what you don't want to be, you're honestly on the right track.

Q: How do I get my mom to stop obsessing over my ex-boyfriend and realize that some of the guys I pick will not be up to her standards?
Jessica's Mom: Your mother doesn't seem to have empathy for your feelings. Set her down, explain that she is hurting you - don't do this in an argument or reactively. Do this quietly at a time when you can really make your case. After that, if she persists, you have to give it up. If she will not give your new boyfriends a chance, then you are spinning your wheels for no good end.

Q: How do I tell my mom that I am a stripper? Or do I even need to?
Doree's Mom: Try to gauge her reaction by telling her, "Do you remember so and so, she's a stripper."
Jessica's Mom: But if you do tell her, don't expect (unless she is extraordinary), that she is going to approve. You have made a choice which I assume is important to you. If you feel that not telling her is an unacceptable omission of the truth, then by all means tell her, though sometimes a don't ask don't tell policy makes the most sense. Even if she doesn't approve, take pleasure in the other ways your mother shows care.

Q: How can I get my mother to stop controlling me and treating me like a child?
Jessica's Mom: The best way to handle this is to calmly discuss the situation, but if there is no resolution, I am concerned that you might consider living under her roof. If at all possible, don't go home after graduation, and be close from a distance.

Q: I'm a Korean-American who fits practically every straight-laced Korean stereotype ever, and yet I am still rebuked by my parents for being disrespectful. How do I get my very Korean mom to realize that we have cultural differences and that we will not always see the world in the same way?
Doree's Mom: Do your parents watch American movies or TV? Do they realize how lucky they are to have an almost totally Korean child? Have them contact me, I'll tell them just how bad it can be. [Ed. note: We're assuming she's not referring to Doree, who of course is a perfect child.]

Q: How do you convince your religious mom that your intention to marry your non-religious dude is not a hurtful slight against her, God or her culture?
Jessica's Mom: Point out to her all the wonderful moral qualities your man has which are religious in spirit if not in doctrine. If this doesn't work, realize that your mother still loves you and you her, even if there are these differences. Again, this is painful, but love is always ambivalent and conflicted.

Q:What is the best way to show your mom you love her and appreciate her?
Doree's Mom: Buy her a copy of Love, Mom!
Jessica's Mom: Empathy for what upsets your mother - this is the greatest form of caring. It is often difficult for adult children to understand and process that their parents have ongoing lives which contain pain and upset separate from their own. If you can notice when your mom is having a bad day and say you're sorry and wish her a better day, this is love.

Q: How do I get my mother to connect with my husband's mother, who is very different from her?
Both Moms: Give them grandchildren.

Love, Mom [Amazon]
Postcards From Yo Momma

Earlier: Momma Knows Best: A Call For Questions

…To give you advice on all your mom-related problems, that is.

When Doree and I started our website, Postcards From Yo Momma, soliciting emails, texts, IMs and all manner of virtual motherly communications almost exactly a year ago, we never realized how much collected wisdom was out there floating in the internet ether. From matters of the heart ("Here are Mom's three rules for a new relationship (the three "N's"): Don't nag; Don't be needy; Don't be neurotic.") to matters of the wardrobe ("DO NOT GET SPANX…get something comfortable and not tight that will just smooth you up and down."), our mothers generally have an opinion on everything, and even though it's completely infuriating, at the end of the day they're usually right, and they always have our best interests in mind.

Speaking of opinions, we were on the radio the other day, and a listener shared her feeling that the entire premise of the book was sexist. "As usual moms are understood as anxious, worry-warts, with nothing better to do than bother their children, and express frustration about their husbands," the listener said. "It's as though moms don't have other roles in the world other than as caretakers." However, if she read the book, she would know that while mothers do show themselves as caretakers (and really is there anything wrong with that?), the moms we feature — like our own mothers — are intelligent, competent, and thoughtful. They have their own lives and interests, and that's what makes the emails so compelling! Certainly, fathers write their own heartfelt missives, but in our experiences, and the experiences of most of our readers, it's mom who dominates the lines of communication.

In that spirit, we invite you to ask all manners of mom-related queries in the comments. Doree and I — along with our moms — will answer some of them in a post on Thursday. My mother is a shrink and Doree's mom is a professor, so they have years of experience giving advice to strangers! We can tell you what to do if your mom starts a Facebook page, how to get her to stop nagging you about joining J-Date and how to navigate a difficult mother-in-law. So post away! Our mommas are listening.

Love, Mom [Amazon]
Postcards From Yo Momma

Earlier: Momma Mia!