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New York, 10:04 PM
Sun Dec 20
19 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #lotion more →

    Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...

    Intensive Care
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
    11/05/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    Also: silky smooth skin? Not really a high priority. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was starred braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was unstarred
    Image of KaneBaker KaneBaker
    11/05/09

    @braak: I disagree. I want it. Age is fighting me on that one. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    braak promoted this comment KaneBaker was starred KaneBaker was unstarred
    Image of braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
    11/05/09

    @KaneBaker: ...for some of us. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was starred braak: You are, as usual, completely correct. was unstarred
    Image of Ojun76 Ojun76
    11/05/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    Now, that they've discovered the reason men don't use lotion, let's delve deeper and find out why they only begrudgingly use soap. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    skahammer promoted this comment Ojun76 was starred Ojun76 was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    11/05/09

    @Ojun76: What do you mean? Of course we use soap...also for masturbation. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of onestrawplz onestrawplz
    11/05/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    How do people go without putting lotion on their skin? If I don't put it on every day after my shower, I freak out and feel so uncomfortable and itchy and yuck.

    Though I'm one of the most neurotic people I know, so that should explain it. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    onestrawplz was starred onestrawplz was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    11/05/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    If I'm any indication (and of course there's no guarantee), then hounding a guy about his mostly-negligent approach to skin care, until he passes through every single stage of opposition and then comes out the other side...is nevertheless completely worth it.

    I made that journey, kicking and screaming at times, at the behest of someone who surely did not appreciate sometimes being called a "nag" (yes, I'm an idiot) but who stuck to her guns anyway...and there is no doubt that now I'm a better man for it. A healthier, smoother-skinned, nicer-smelling man, at least.

    On occasional cool days during humid summers, and twice a day during dry winters. (I'm talking about lotion application, of course.)
     Reply
    Edited by skahammer at 11/05/09 8:35 AM skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of cand86 cand86
    11/05/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    Hey now, I'm a woman and I can't stand lotion. I hate the greasy feel, I've yet to find one that actually doesn't feel greasy, even though it says "Light, non-greasy formula", and I hate wasting money on products like lotion.

    But then again, I don't even like using moisturizing bodywash. I like soap. I need my skin to literally squeak in order to feel clean when I step out of the shower. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    cand86 was starred cand86 was unstarred
    Image of lostingenerica lostingenerica
    11/05/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    I once bought a lotion that ended up having little tiny sparkles in it, even though nothing on the label indicated that it would shimmer or sparkle. THAT is one reason I hate lotion. That and I can't stand having it on my palms because my palms are usually a little sweaty, so it makes them greasy. I don't know why lotion has to be so gendered. All I want is a lotion that doesn't leave me feeling greasy, smelly, or shimmery. But since I'm a woman I guess they already know what I want and I should just shut up and buy it, huh? #vaselinemen
     Reply
    skahammer promoted this comment lostingenerica was starred lostingenerica was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    11/05/09

    @lostingenerica: So lotion turned you into a vampire? #vaselinemen
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of lostingenerica lostingenerica
    11/07/09

    @skahammer: yes. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    lostingenerica was starred lostingenerica was unstarred
    Image of Trulymadlyme Trulymadlyme
    11/05/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    Uh, black men? Understand the power of lotion aside from walking the dog.

    My skin literally hurts if I don't put lotion on. I didn't realize other guys didn't actually have this problem. Lucky bastards. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    Trulymadlyme was starred Trulymadlyme was unstarred
    Image of nyc-caribbean-ragazza nyc-caribbean-ragazza
    11/05/09

    @Trulymadlyme:

    Ha I was just going to say, clearly these men are not black.

    Hello..who wants ashy skin?

    Also these men are not European either. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    nyc-caribbean-ragazza was starred nyc-caribbean-ragazza was unstarred
    Image of xay xay
    11/05/09

    @Trulymadlyme: THIS.

    I've had lengthy, non-sexual conversations with black men about lotion preferences and the merits of cocoa butter vs shea butter. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    Trulymadlyme promoted this comment xay was starred xay was unstarred
    Image of Trulymadlyme Trulymadlyme
    11/05/09

    @xay: It's kind of odd, but I guess Unilever does not consider black men to be its target demographic. Hmph. Also?

    Shea butter FTW! #vaselinemen
     Reply
    Trulymadlyme was starred Trulymadlyme was unstarred
    Image of HollywoodCookieMonster HollywoodCookieMonster
    11/05/09

    @Trulymadlyme: wow thats so Mad Men right there. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    Trulymadlyme promoted this comment HollywoodCookieMonster was starred HollywoodCookieMonster was unstarred
    Image of SweetIo SweetIo
    11/05/09

    @Trulymadlyme: I was about to say - my husband is the lotion person in our family. I hardly ever think to put it on, but he is downright religious about it. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    SweetIo was starred SweetIo was unstarred
    Image of Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
    11/04/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    What? No! They just have really dry hands! And that box of Klennex is for their perpetual case of the sniffles. The old Sears catalog is for arts & crafts. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! was starred Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! was unstarred
    Image of Cafezinha Cafezinha
    11/04/09

    @Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!: My friend likes to bust my chops because I leave a bottle of lotion on the bedside table. Maybe I need a whack with a clue-by-four, but I didn't even consider the possibilities of what people thought of it...I just have really dry hands, feet, and elbows, and apply lotion immediately upon waking and before bed.

    (What I tell him when he picks on me is: women don't use lotion for masturbating anyway, do they? Wait, why would MEN use it? Wouldn't that irritate the urethral opening? O_o) #vaselinemen
     Reply
    Cafezinha was starred Cafezinha was unstarred
    Image of Falcon Falcon
    11/05/09

    @Cafezinha: This is going to be way TMI, but as someone who's tried a lot of different forms of masturbation media: Yes, some of that stuff burns like hell (although I've never tried skin lotion. That just seems like it would become a complete mess or dry up way too fast). Body wash is another item on the list of stuff to stay away from (Ouch!). It doesn't really burn until you cum, but as soon as you do your opening feels like it's on fire. At first, it's like "Mmmm", but then, it's like "Oh god, why am I such a moron? What have I done?!". Kind of like most of my sexual encounters during my teenage years. (Southern Baptist sexual repression, represent!)

    On a related note: I made the mistake of leaving the KY liquid out on my computer desk when a date was over here once. Whoops.
     Reply
    Cafezinha promoted this comment Edited by Falcon at 11/05/09 1:08 AM Falcon was starred Falcon was unstarred
    Image of veronykah veronykah
    11/05/09

    @Falcon: Your related note is hilarious. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    veronykah was starred veronykah was unstarred
    Image of Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!
    11/05/09

    @Pizza!Pizza!Pizza!: (Did I seriously write 'Klennex'?) #vaselinemen
     Reply
    Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! was starred Pizza!Pizza!Pizza! was unstarred
    Image of donopolis donopolis
    11/05/09

    @Cafezinha: exactly...I have never understood the lotion for masturbation thing. Who wants their junk to smell like that? and iy could lead to stinging....and I kind of self lotion... #vaselinemen
     Reply
    Cafezinha promoted this comment donopolis was starred donopolis was unstarred
    Image of NewsBunny NewsBunny
    11/04/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    My husband didn't use lotion until I introduced him to it.

    Now he loves it! He'll sleep with gloves on to soften his hands! He digs manicures. Minty foot lotions. Massages. Shaves at an expensive barbershop with a straight razor. The authentic badger-brush at home. An exfoliating lip product.

    I have created a monster. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    NewsBunny was starred NewsBunny was unstarred
    Image of crazy_lady crazy_lady
    11/04/09

    @NewsBunny: A beautiful, soft, nicely scented monster? #vaselinemen
     Reply
    yvanehtnioj promoted this comment crazy_lady was starred crazy_lady was unstarred
    Image of NewsBunny NewsBunny
    11/04/09

    @crazy_lady: Well, he was a lot smellier before I created the handsome, soft, nicely scented monster.

    He even showers every day now! LOL!.... #vaselinemen
     Reply
    NewsBunny was starred NewsBunny was unstarred
    Image of Being pecked to death by a chicken Being pecked to death by a chicken
    11/04/09

    @NewsBunny: Shit... My husband STILL won't shower every day :o
    How'd you manage to bring your hubby over to Team Shower? #vaselinemen
     Reply
    NewsBunny promoted this comment Being pecked to death by a chicken was starred Being pecked to death by a chicken was unstarred
    Image of NewsBunny NewsBunny
    11/05/09

    @Being pecked to death by a chicken: We were given a massive gift package to a spa for our upcoming wedding, and I talked him into a massage. That hooked him. Then I treated his dry, cracked, BLEEDING hands with the lotion and gloves routine. He was astonished at the difference. I bought manly, unscented lotion from Keil's (or however the fuck you spell it).

    That opened the door. I bought him a gift package to a high-class barber for his birthday (the same one who shaved Dave Lettermen, but before he shaved Dave Letterman). Oh, he was thrilled.

    Now his beauty routine is more extensive than mine. He even got braces.

    And when a dermatologist found a skin cancer on his freckled body -- that really encouraged him to take care of his skin.

    He's adorable. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    NewsBunny was starred NewsBunny was unstarred
    Image of kavitabk kavitabk
    11/04/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    Well in my experience, men of color of all sexual orientations are lotion addicts. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    EKane promoted this comment kavitabk was starred kavitabk was unstarred
    Image of EKane EKane
    11/04/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    Um, I've never heard a man say anything about lotion not soaking in.

    My opinions are biased because I've never heard a black man say that (see: 'ash abatement' in the black community) and I've never asked any other men about their lotion habits. Maybe I should get out more.

    I bet Michael Strahan used lotion before he started hawking this brand.
     Reply
    Edited by EKane at 11/04/09 8:36 PM EKane was starred EKane was unstarred
    Image of token_illiterate_commenter token_illiterate_commenter
    11/04/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    I don't usually use lotion because it's too greasy and it usually has a strong floral scent. However I've found a good non-scented one that I use in the dry winter months when my hands become one big open sore. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    token_illiterate_commenter was starred token_illiterate_commenter was unstarred
    Image of Dr. Girlfriend Dr. Girlfriend
    11/04/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    Also, have you ever tried applying lotion over excessive body hair? Not the greatest sensation. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    Dr. Girlfriend was starred Dr. Girlfriend was unstarred
    Image of elysium_kitschen elysium_kitschen
    11/04/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    Hilarious - my husband has this exact bottle of lotion...and it is not for relieving chapped elbows and cracked feet. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    formergr promoted this comment elysium_kitschen was starred elysium_kitschen was unstarred
    Image of rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny
    11/04/09

    In reply to Well, That, And They Just Associate It With Masturbation...
    I don't know Unilever, I'm going to generalize here but it might be because it's never crossed our minds to use lotions or invest time into maintaining physical appearance.

    Just listen to any two-bit stand up comic, you'll hear the joke about the wife that takes 20 minutes to get ready compared to his 2. #vaselinemen
     Reply
    rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny was starred rmric0.wedding.photographer.and.manny was unstarred
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