• Noooooo! Grazia reports Olivier Theyskens is leaving Nina Ricci. [The Cut]
• Or not: the mag attributes the scoop to "buzz currently sweeping through the front rows of the Couture shows in Paris." [Fashionista]

• Los Angeles jeweler and creator of the worst ad ever Loree Rodkin is enjoying a bump in sales following Michelle Obama's decision to wear a number of Rodkin's pieces. Like Jason Wu, she won't recreate the exact jewelery, since it was all custom-designed, but she will make similar items available for public sale. For $20,000-$50,000. [WSJ]
• ONTD has what they claim are leaked David Alexander sketches of costumes for Britney Spears' upcoming tour; if these are legit, expect our girl to look a little like Barbarella when she takes the stage. [ONTD]
• One thing that hasn't changed in the recession: the purpose of the couture shows is still not to much to actually sell a large number of $80,000 hand-made dresses but to maintain a brand identity fantasmagorical enough to shift gallons of perfume, acres of accessories, and counters of cosmetics. Attendance at the Paris shows hasn't dropped, and Chanel and Dior's couture divisions are expecting modest growth. (Further proof those wealthy enough to buy couture are very far removed from current economic realities.) [Portfolio]
• That seems to be the customer Tom Ford is seeking as he releases a $990 jean. The button is gold-plated. [The Cut]
• There for us at the other end of the denim market is Stacey London, of What Not To Wear fame. She's going to shill for Lee, because Riders "fit great and make you look slimmer." We'll take 'em 'cause they cost less than $20. [Brandweek]
• Never to be outdone, Hermès is releasing a $24,000 folding chair. It's made of black crocodile and nickel. [Racked]
• Beth Ditto is going to design an 80s-inspired fashion line with the British plus sized brand Evans. They're only in Britain and Northern Ireland, and there's no word on potential US distribution. Maybe Barney's will pick it up, like Kate Moss for Topshop? [Blackbook]
• Amanda Seyfried has become a face of Movado. [WWD]
• Eddie Bauer is being sued by outdoor clothier Woolrich. They say Eddie Bauer's slogan "The Original Outdoor Outfitter," is too much like Woolrich's, "The Original Outdoor Clothing Company." No argument there, but hasn't that been Eddie Bauer's slogan for eons? Did Woolrich just notice? [AP]
• Multinational giant Unilever, owner of the brands Dove, Axe, as well as skin-bleaching cream Fair & Lovely, is buying the TIGI hair product line and its hair-care schools from Toni & Guy. I just learned Unilever also owns Ben & Jerry's, so next time before I get high and mighty about an Axe ad, I'll try and remember how much I love Cherry Garcia. The world being nuanced and all. (But, ugh, Fair & Lovely?!) [WSJ]
• Time "investigates" the Anna Wintour retirement/replacement story, talks down to Page Six and the online sources that initially broke the rumors, and then rehashes everything you read here and elsewhere six weeks ago. MSM FTW! [Time]
• Glenn Close must have read that article in February's Glamour about "shopping your closet": She went to the Armani couture show in the same outfit she wore to the 101 Dalmatians premiere. In 1996. [WWD]
• Freida Pinto, the female star of Slumdog Millionaire, has been criticized for the mustard-yellow strapless Christian Lacroix gown she wore to the Golden Globes. She says, "It seemed like the right choice at the time." So many things do. [Times of India]
• PETA defaced Aretha Franklin's star on the Hollywood walk of fame. They called her a "Fur hag." [Daily Express]
• At the other end of this link lies proof positive that anybody can be made to look like Marilyn Monroe for a fashion ad. You'd never know Daria Werbowy to be a brunette. [Sassybella]

Okay, this is not an ad. This is a shot from an editorial in Bazaar. But look: Toplessness is what's NEXT!

This woman is shilling shoes and handbags, but she has no blouse.

Here she is again without a chemise. It went on like this for pages. Same model, different accessories, bare boobs.

Another young lady who would love for you to buy a handbag. Except she's not pictured actually touching a handbag. In fact, the handbag appears on the opposite page.

Perhaps her pale, shimmering skin is supposed to make you want to buy that pale, shimmering bag. Perhaps there's a shirt for her inside that bag. Perhaps they should rethink having a nekkid chick in an ad for a brand that sounds so much like a herpes medication.

Aww, look, equal opportunity. This man is also topless, because a topless man is just like a topless woman. They can both be seen in parks and at suburban pools and on family TV and stuff. Oh! And the man gets luggage instead of a handbag because men are bigger and stronger and can lug heavier things. Plus, men have places to go.

Rock And Republic: Fur! Studs! Jeans! Boobs!

Seeing Kate Moss topless is like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs: Cute, but you've seen it before.

Watch out, lady, Justin Timberlake is lurking behind you, hoping to get a glance of your tatas!

Dammit. Naomi makes it look easy. Normal. Should we all just throw away our camisoles right now?

And the winner. For toplessness. Goes to: Loree Rodkin. Shilling jewelry on this wretched green, lace-printed model. Do you want to buy a diamond-encrusted dragonfly chain right now? Me neither. Medic! Send Dramamine.

Earlier: Big Hair Is Sexy, Cigarettes Whiten Teeth, Not Having Cellulite Is Awesome
Advertising Taking Cues From Porn: What Is The World Cumming To?