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Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
The Strange Case Of The State Of Hilary Duff's Hymen

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Aesop's Foibles. YES.
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
Sorry, but I still can't get over how pretty Bristol is. Her name, however, reminds me of "bristles" which is a word that makes me very uncomfortable. And my imagination evidently has boundaries, because I cannot for the life of me come up with a name for the new bebeh. can't wait to hear it, though. It'll be classic I have no doubt.
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aubonpam
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
Is it weird that I'm more concerned about the possibility of Bristol being married at 17 then I am over her being pregnant?
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FourInchHeels
12/18/08

@aubonpam: Do they still have to get married, though? I mean, Palin didn't win the election (HUZZAH!) so I'm not sure the wedding still has to happen. Here's to hoping!
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dianersb was bit by a zombie
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
Dustin Hoffman is full of win. Seriously.
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morninggloria
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
Maybe Baby Bristol will be born on Christmas so that they can name him Jesus God Jerry Falwell Focus On The Family Right To Life Witchcraft Proof Palin.
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yvanehtnioj
12/18/08

@morninggloria: I would like to add Witchcraft Proof to my name, plz.
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BeAgrestic
12/18/08

@morninggloria: hahahaa! I have a serious case of the giggles now.
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Kivrin
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
I hate Bristol's mother, but I have to say that Bristol Palin sure is pretty, especially in that picture. I want her hair, her eyebrows, her nose...
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Brigit
12/18/08

@Kivrin: I think all Palin girls look adorable. I just can't.stand.Palin.
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yvanehtnioj
12/18/08

@Kivrin: Yeah the problem with Palin isn't that she isn't good looking. Her whole family is ridiculously attractive. (But come to think of it, so are the Obamas and the Bidens.)
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WaltzingMatilda
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
As a fellow late December baby, I have this to say to the future Johnston-baby: I am so sorry that your bday present will inevitably be combined with your Christmas present. And I am further sorry that your bday will always be overshadowed by that of Jeebus - especially in your crazy-ass family.

So now is the perfect time to become an atheist. Godlessness is totally the way to go - you tell your G-ma that, kay?
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WaltzingMatilda
12/18/08

@WaltzingMatilda: Oh and Johnston baby - this is particular appropriate: [mail2.someecards.com]
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Brigit
12/18/08

@WaltzingMatilda: Well he's a baby, he'll be an atheist until he gets religious ed. Then -in his case- he can ask for a dino that Jeebus can ride on.

Psst kid, you should tell them you're Hispanic and you totally have to celebrate Los Reyes going to give pressies to Jeebus. 3 gifts during the Christmas season!

Att.

Fellow December kid
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NewsBunny
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
DO NOT disrespect Darth Vader like that.
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katie.scarlett.o'hara
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
Hasn't Christian Bale signed on to be in 3 Terminator movies?
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cuteasabutton
12/18/08

@katie.scarlett.o'hara: Yes. Thank the lord!
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Kivrin
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
I can't find it in me to get worked up about Eminem, because I think he's just joking/talking shit to be provocative.

(And before anyone jumps on me -- "He shouldn't 'joke' about domestic violence!" -- keep in mind that this is the site where people joke about rape, so it's not just me!)
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stealthird
12/18/08

@Kivrin: I think you're right, and I thought "Stan" proved a long time ago that he didn't actually believe all the scary shit in his songs. There is such a thing as artistic license...
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Kivrin
12/18/08

@stealthird: Good, glad I'm not the only one. I had some female friends yell at me a few years ago for thinking "Superman" was funny, but I'm sorry -- it just seems so obvious that he's talking shit! And I talk shit all the time, so I guess I cut him some slack.
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stealthird
12/18/08

@Kivrin: Well, also, I'm very anti censorship. I think people have the right to say whatever they want--and we're free to ignore it if we don't like it. And I don't get why it would be ok for a novelist to write a violent rape scene, but because Eminem has a bigger fan base and broader commercial appeal, there are things he "shouldn't" or "can't" say. Like it or not, his music is art, and I don't think all art should be reduced to PSA preachiness just because it involves or concerns violence. Plus, I've always had the impression that he's really an ok guy, and the rest is for show.
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Jessica
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
You guys I misread the page six item! Bristol Palin WILL have a boy on December 20th! I changed the headline and stuff. This is what happens when I start writing before coffee. MY BAD!!!
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Tart of Darkness
12/18/08

@Jessica: And I was easily led astray because of my lack of coffee. But now we are all warmed up for when she does have the baby!
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stacyinbean
12/18/08

@Jessica: I'd still like to stand by my baby naming contest! It's just preemptive.
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cuteasabutton
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
As much as my family have problems, at least we aren't suing each other. Seriously, how do people do that?
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Tart of Darkness
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
When's the Palin - Shotgun guy wedding? Will Bristol wear white?

Wait, didn't someone recently set the Palin family church on fire? Where was shotgun boy when this happened?

Nevertheless, welcome to the world Baby Trout.
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Tart of Darkness
12/18/08

@Tart of Darkness: Sorry premature.
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theruraljuror
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
oh dustin hoffman, if you were my dad i'd never be embarrassed.
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katie.scarlett.o'hara
12/18/08

@theruraljuror: He sounds so adorable!
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mepo - Robert Cornhole invented it
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
Wow I am so glad I never bought anything of Eminem's crap and therefore did not in any way contribute to his income. Fucking douche.
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graham_but_not_a_cracker
12/18/08

In reply to Bristol Palin Will Have A Baby Boy!
I have the feeling that Frances Bean is the parent in that relationship, so she probably wants to stay close in case her little girl needs her.
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Brigit
12/18/08

@graham_but_not_a_cracker: Ommigod that is so true and sad. My cousin's mom was a heroin addict when he was a kid, and with only 6 years he was 30 lbs overweight so he could be big and protect his momma.
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