The episode was even more laugh-out-loud than usual, with Frank morphing into Liz, Jenna dubbing text messages "business sexts," and Tracy Jordan going to Whoopi Goldberg for advice on winning an EGOT (an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony), which is "a great goal for a crazy person."

While Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan often steal the show from star/writer Tina Fey, the episode's most hilarious moments came from her character Liz Lemon, who had a breakdown while filming the Dealbreakers pilot. Though Liz fantasized that as a TV star she'd be a glamorous blonde carrying on an affair with Astronaut Mike Dexter, in reality, she got a terrible makeover and her insecurities about acting made her so awkward that she forgot how to perform basic moves like waving and smiling. Jenna explained that "Regular Liz" had been transformed into "Performer Liz," and that Jack must then "lie to her, coddle her, protect her from the real world." Or as he put it, "Treat her like the New York Times treats its readers."

Although Anthony Lane criticized Fey's acting in The New Yorker's review of Baby Mama last year, saying, "she hasn't yet made up her mind how funny her body is meant to be," in the clip below, Fey shows off her physical comedy chops as Liz attempts to film the intro for Dealbreakers.

What really did Liz in wasn't her robotic performance or Jenna-like tantrums, but what her face looked like in high-def:

At least she didn't look as bad as Pete:

Once again, we saw that in his soul, Kenneth belongs on Sesame Street:

And of course, the only person who actually looked better in high-definition was Alec Baldwin:

The full episode is available on Hulu.

Switching Places [The New Yorker]
"Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001" [Hulu]

The pictures in question were taken over the summer, and showed the pretending to kiss or lick "novelty phallus-shaped lollipops." Other images showed the girls in their underwear with dollar bills sticking out. The ACLU has become involved in the case, and they claim that since the incident occurred outside school, it should not effect their standing. •  A new study from Britain's Department of Health has found that new mothers feel most anxious around five months after giving birth. At this point, the excitement has supposedly worn off, and friends and relatives are supposedly no longer offering as much support, which leads many mothers to feel isolated and nervous. • Nutrition experts have complained that Kellogg's is falsely advertising that its Cocoa Krispies cereal can help "boost immunity." Currently, the Cocoa Krispies box reads: ""Now helps support your child's IMMUNITY," alluding to the addition of vitamins A, C and E. But Kelly Brownell from Yale University says, "by their logic, you can spray vitamins on a pile of leaves, and it will boost immunity." • Researchers recently found that 1/5 of smokers lie about smoking during pregnancy. The study, which looked at 3,475 women from Scotland, asked women to come clean about lighting up while pregnant and followed up with the revealing blood tests. •  The Cyprus Feline Society has identified two breeds of cat that they claim are "ancient breeds" and would like international recognition for them. The two breeds include the tall and elegant "Aphrodite," and short, broad-faced "Helen." •  A professor at Harvard has announced that next semester he plans a class based entirely on the HBO show The Wire. "I do not hesitate to say that it has done more to enhance our understanding of the challenges of urban life and the problems of urban inequality, more than any other media event or scholarly publication," said sociology professor William J. Wilson at a recent panel discussion.  • A new study found that while marriage rates are lower for women on welfare, receiving Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, once they exit the system they are as likely to marry as women who were never on welfare. • International cancer specialists will meet this week to figure out how to combat the increase of breast cancer in developing countries, where almost two-thirds of women aren't diagnosed until the cancer has spread through their bodies. Doctors say part of the problem is that in some areas women worry that men will leave them if they lose a breast. "It's not a trivial consideration," says Dr. Lawrence Shulman of the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, who is working to begin cancer care in parts of Africa where "the women are often seen as really either vessels for producing children or as sex slaves." • A mother in New York is challenging a judge's decision to 34 percent increase in the number of Down Syndrome births between 1989 and 2005, 15 percent fewer babies were born during that time due to prenatal testing. Some are worried that the decline in Down Syndrome cases will lead to cuts in research funding and that more people aren't even considering raising a child with Down syndrome. • A Texas health clinic operator CareNow says it regrets telling a Muslim doctor applying for a job that she couldn't wear her hijab. The company called it a "misunderstanding" after the American-Islamic Relations wrote to CareNow, explaining federal law requires employers to reasonably accommodate religious practices of an employee. • Today Michelle Obama is launching a mentoring program in which she and female White House staffers will mentor 20 high school girls from the Washington, D.C. area. The girls will get to visit their mentors' offices and gather for a group dinner. • Despite Liz Lemon's well-known love of the German language, 30 Rock is not popular in Germany. Its premiere last night on the German channel ZDFNeo earned a 0.0 rating, meaning it was watched by fewer than 5,000 people. Blerg. •

Paul Bedard at the Washington Whispers blog of US News offers several tidbits from Continetti's book, including this one:

The left recoils at a certain swagger, a manner of speech, and a lack of cultural embarrassment that the two share. Neither Bush nor Palin mind the fact that they are not part of this country's cognoscenti. But until Palin showed up, one could have written off the liberal reaction to Bush as simply anti-Texan bias. That wasn't it, however. Palin proved that at its root the reaction to these folksy Western politicians is a form of anti-provincialism; revulsion toward people who do not aspire to adopt the norms, values, politics and attitudes of the Eastern cultural elite.

Which, like, zzz. But what comes next is some new and different Palin apologia, bizarre enough that it's worthy of a response:

It was telling that Fey should be the actress who impersonated Palin. The two women may look like each other, but they could not be more dissimilar. Each exemplifies a different category of feminism. Palin comes from the I-can-do-it-all school. She is professionally successful, has been married for more than 20 years, and has a large and (from all outward appearances) happy family. And while Fey is also pretty, married, and has a daughter, the characters she portrays in films like Mean Girls and Baby Mama, and in television shows like 30 Rock, are hard-pressed eggheads who give up personal fulfillment-e.g., marriage and motherhood-in the pursuit of professional success. [...] On 30 Rock, Fey, who is also the show's chief writer and executive producer, plays Liz Lemon, a television comedy writer modeled on herself. Liz Lemon is smart, funny, and at the top of her field. But she fails elsewhere. None of her relationships with men works out. She wants desperately to raise a child but can find neither the time nor the means to marry or adopt. Lemon makes you laugh, for sure. But you also would be hard pressed to name a more unhappy person on American TV.

See, Tina Fey chose to mock Sarah Palin because Liz Lemon is unhappy. Since, as he's forced to admit, Fey is married and has a child — and she's received public praise for her looks much as Palin has — Continetti has to delve into the characters she plays in order to find miserable feminists to use as strawwomen. He also says that "Palin's sudden global fame rankled those feminists whose own path to glory had been difficult" — can he really be arguing that Fey resents Palin because Liz Lemon's personal life sucks? That even though she herself "can-do-it-all" (and annoying formulation if there ever was one), she hates Palin because Lemon is stuck working on her night cheese? Does he think, perhaps, that Fey created Lemon as some kind of an exemplar of modern womanhood, and is upset that Palin isn't more like her? Of course, Palin may be more fertile than Lemon, but she's just as absurd. But the most absurd thing of all is that Continetti would choose to center an argument around Liz Lemon, who is an actual "unreal American" since she is fictional. The head explodes.

Interestingly, Continetti's book now has a Nov. 12 pub date, but was apparently originally slated for publication in 2010. This suggests he and his publishers had to rush out the book in response to the moved-up release date of Going Rogue (for which Palin recently reported a "retainer" of $1.25 million, just the first slice of a much larger steaming pie). There appears to be an arms race afoot for who can make excuses for Palin first — herself or her admirers. Pretty soon conservatives will be writing books in negative time.

Palin Book: Feminists Jealous Of Sarah's Rise [U.S. News & World Report: Washington Whispers]
Palin's Book Retainer: $1.25 Million [ADN.com]
Weekly Standard's Continetti Writing Bio Of Sarah Palin [Washington Independent]

After Jack dropped the term "real America," Liz informed him, "That's a nonsense term. All of America is "real America." Could that be a dig at Sarah Palin?

Jack's announcement also inspired Tracy to rediscover his humble bucket-drumming roots, while Jenna offered to "go country" since, "the best way for a lady to get heat in this industry is to either record a country album or have a lesbian relationship."

Speaking of feeling the heat, things are tight at NBC due to the recession, so Jack asked Kenneth and the rest of the pages to work longer hours for no overtime. Kenneth, understandably was outraged when he discovered that Jack himself is still earning a bonus, just as many "real Americans" were when they found out Wall Street executives were doing the same.

Meanwhile, Liz and Pete were secretly going to comedy clubs scouting for a new TGS cast member average Americans could relate to. The rest of the writers assumed all the sneaking around meant they were having an affair, and, rather than send them into a panic, Liz admitted, "Pete and I are intercoursing each other."

An opportunity opens up for 30 Rock to boost ratings by taking the lesbian route (sort of). Thankfully, they don't go there.

In the end, Liz wound up losing the entire TGS cast when Jenna and Tracy joined Kenneth's page/mall Santa/bucket drummer strike.

Jack threatened to end the page program, but Kenneth realized he was bluffing (Jack can't afford to pay real employees to do the work!) an, after Jack admitted to lying, the strike was called off. The moral of this story was: Kenneth may be simple, but he's not stupid (and can't be seduced by the sight of Steve Buscemi in a blonde wig).

Earlier: John McCain Plans To Win The "Real" America After You Godless Commies Are Locked Up

I've taken the liberty of bolding the most exciting ones, but it looks like they're really going overboard and giving fans no choice but to buy the DVD (out September 22nd.)

• Flu Shot Episode Commentary with Tina Fey & Jeff Richmond
• Goodbye, My Friend Commentary with Judah Friedlander & John Lutz
• The Bubble Commentary with Jon Hamm & Jack McBrayer
• Apollo, Apollo Commentary with Jack Burditt & Robert Carlock
• The Ones Commentary with Jane Krakowski & Jack McBrayer
• Mamma Mia Commentary with Alan Alda
• Kidney Now! Commentary with Tina Fey & Jeff Richmond
• Deleted Scenes
• Behind-the-Scenes with the Muppets
• 1-900-OKFace
• Kidney Now! Table Read
• Making of Kidney Now!
• Behind-the-Scenes Photo Gallery
• Alec Baldwin's SNL Monologue
• Tracy Jordan's Rant
• Award Acceptance Speeches

The scene on 30 Rock where we first learned about 1-900-OKface is above.

In doing research for this, we noticed that a lot of these women had characteristics in common. Almost all of them are middle class. Many of them are educated and somewhat socially awkward. A lot of them are either nerdy, or have nerdy pasts, and can be annoying. But unfortunately, all of them — including the animated ones — are Caucasian. Worse still, only three of the females listed below are characters on shows currently on air. It's sad that in the past 30 years, feminism hasn't even managed to get two dozen recurring characters on television to admit to being part of the movement. (Again, these are pop culture characters who spoke openly about being feminists or feminism; however, if, over the course of our research we overlooked/couldn't find someone you think should be included, please do let us know in the comments - we'd love to keep updating this post with characters.)

Maude Findlay, Maude
As the title character of the series, Maude Findlay (Bea Arthur) was probably the most outspoken, upfront feminist of sitcom TV. Running from 1972 - 1978, smack dab in the middle of the women's lib movement, Maude was a Democrat who was pro-choice—she had an abortion on the show, pre-Roe v. Wade—and was a political activist who advocated for gender and racial equality. The show's theme song, "And Then There's Maude," also reflected Maude's feminism, comparing her to strong women in history like Joan of Arc, Lady Godiva, and "bra burners."

Marcy D'Arcy, Married With Children
The breadwinner of her family, whether she was married to her first husband Steve or second husband Jefferson, Marcy (Amanda Bearse) hated Al Bundy and his misogynistic views on women. Although she was a Republican loan officer, she was also a radical feminist and formed FANG (Feminists Against Neanderthal Guys) in retaliation of Al's club NO MA'AM (National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood).

Julia Sugarbaker and Mary Jo Shively, Designing Women
As owner and designer of interior decorating company Sugarbaker Designs, Julia (Dixie Carter) and Mary Jo (Annie Potts) were the liberal mouthpieces of writer Linda Bloodworth-Thomason. Airing from 1986 - 1993, the show was often topical and dealt with women's issues like spousal abuse, prostitution, homosexuality, cat-calling construction workers, and hostility toward overweight women. One episode focused entirely on the Anita Hill/Clarence Thomas, with the women sharing painful personal memories of sexual harassment and wearing shirts that said, "He did it." Julia regularly made long, liberal-leaning speeches when she got into it with other characters. Interestingly, according to Wikipedia, Dixie Carter is a Republican and "disagreed with many of her character's left-of-center commentaries, and made a deal with the producers that for every speech she gave, Julia would get to sing a song in a future episode."

Murphy Brown, Murphy Brown
During the late '80s and early '90s, Monday nights on CBS featured an hour-long block of feminist comedy with Murphy Brown and Designing Women airing back-to-back. Running from 1988 - 1998, Murphy Brown (Candace Bergen) was the supposed epitome of "post-feminism." As a news anchor/recovering alcoholic, Murphy's feminism was often highlighted by her contrast to the character Corky Sherwood, a ditsy, former Miss America turned broadcast journalist. In the 1991-1992 season, Murphy became pregnant and chose to raise the baby as a single mother, prompting former Vice President Dan Quayle to criticize the character for ignoring the importance of fathers, opening a national discourse on "family values." The show addressed his remarks by editing his speech to make it appear as though he was talking about Murphy personally instead of the character, leading Murphy to do a special edition broadcast on her news program FYI of different kinds of families.

Liz Lemon, 30 Rock
As head writer of The Girlie Show (or TSG with Tracy Jordan), Liz Lemon is a fictionalized version of 30 Rock creator Tina Fey. As a liberal, Lemon believes that "gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all have hybrid cars," and is heavily concerned with the idea of fairness. She's described—accurately, according to other characters on the show—by her boss Jack Donaghy as a "New York third-wave feminist, college-educated, single-and-pretending-to-be-happy-about-it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says 'healthy body image' on the cover and every two years you take up knitting for...a week." She is constantly in a struggle to balance her personal and professional lives, and in her late 30s, is feeling the pressure to either adopt or have a child of her own, which can sometimes be mistaken for baby fever, particularly when she was asked by a makeup artist on the set to hold her baby, then blacked out and woke up in her apartment, still holding the child. But while she'd like the ideal setup of marriage and a family, she doesn't think the former is necessary to achieve the latter, as demonstrated in an episode when she bought a wedding dress, despite the fact that she doesn't have a boyfriend, saying, "I'm gonna get the wedding dress, then I'm gonna have a baby and then I'm gonna die and then I'll meet a super cute guy in Heaven."

Elyse Keaton, Family Ties
Airing from 1982 - 1989 during the Reagan era, Family Ties featured feminist mother Elyse (Meredith Baxter-Birney), a baby boomer Democrat former-hippie raising her kids in the suburbs while maintaining a job. She and her husband Steven were political activists before settling down but still were very much liberal-minded. Her feminism was often in contrast with her daughter Mallory's flightiness and obsession with fashion and her Republican son Alex's traditional views, although Alex would later date a feminist artist named Ellen (played by Tracy Pollan, who ended up marrying Micheal J. Fox in real life).

Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons
Lisa (voiced by Yeardley Smith) is smart and wise beyond her years eight years. She's a vegetarian, environmentalist, feminist and supporter of Tibetan freedom. She is a Ghost World fan, adores ponies, has struggled with body image issues, has a love/hate relationship with her Malibu Stacy doll, and gets angered over males' lack of "regard for feelings and unicorns." However, she is aware of her own intelligence, which sometimes leads to arrogance. Occasionally she'll undermine her stay-at-home mother for her seemingly traditional gender role, but always ends up learning a lesson from her mistakes and incorrect assumptions.

Andrea Zuckerman, Beverly Hills, 90210
From 1990 - 1995 Andrea (Gabrielle Carteris) was 90210's resident "brainy" girl. As editor-in-chief of the high school paper The West Beverly Blaze, Andrea was socially awkward, but socially conscious—in stark contrast to the shallow, beautiful girls in her school—and the storylines involving her character dealt with gender, class, and racial issues. She was sexually harassed by a teacher at West Beverly, and later accused AP English teacher Mr. Meyer of sexism when he attempted to demote her and make Brandon Walsh the EIC of the paper. (Being vocal on the issue led to her sharing the position with Brandon.) Like Donna Martin, Andrea was saving herself for marriage, but as a freshman in college she fucked her RA, then later another guy named Jesse. Jesse knocked her up, the two married—even though her Judaism clashed with his Catholicism—had a kid, then went to Yale together.

Jessie Spano, Saved by the Bell
As a strong-willed feminist, Jessie (Elizabeth Berkley) was an overachiever. She was class president, a straight-A student, and briefly tried to balance all of that with a singing career that led to an addiction to caffeine pills. She introduced legions of young girls to the term "chauvinist pig," and all though she was a crusader against sexism, she fell for the school jock A.C. Slater.

Roseanne Connor, Roseanne
Airing from 1988 - 1997, Roseanne was groundbreaking for giving a face to blue-collar feminism. Instead of the tired feminist stereotype in which female characters strive to "have it all" (a successful career and a family) Roseanne (Roseanne Barr) struggled to have enough. She took care of her kids, husband, and house while also working a number of menial jobs to make ends meet, demonstrating how modern women of the '80s were expected to cook, clean, and contribute to household finances. She had a group of close girlfriends that included her sister Jackie, who were supportive rather than competitive with each other. Most importantly, perhaps, Roseanne was an overweight female lead character whose likability did not depend on her appearance.

Karen Arnold, The Wonder Years
Airing from 1988 - 1993, The Wonder Years took place in 1968 - 1973, reflecting the political and cultural climate of the time. As the older sister of protagonist/narrator Kevin Arnold, Karen (Olivia d'Abo) was a hippie, liberal, feminist, idealist who clashed with her conservative, traditional father. She inspired her brother Kevin to protest the Vietnam War by staging a walkout at his school, and her free-spirit perhaps inspired her homemaker mother to go back to college and start a career of her own.

Midge Pinciotti, That '70s Show
As Donna's mother, Midge (Tanya Roberts) was easily influenced by any fad in the '70s, including women's liberation. On the show, she takes women's studies classes, and joins the group "Feminist Warriors." Although a stereotypical ditsy sexpot, Midge still manages to instill feminist values in her daughter Donna.

Rory Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Born to an unwed, teen mother, Rory (Alexis Bledel) was a bright, well-behaved, pop-culturally savvy teenager, who was valedictorian of her competitive high school and went on to study journalism at Yale. While her romantic relationships were often masochistic, she was often seen reading feminist prose, and dreamed of one day having a career like Christiane Amanpour. At college, her dorm room was decorated with Planned Parenthood, NARAL, and Gloria Steinem stickers. At the end of the show's seven-year run in 2007, Rory's boyfriend proposes to her, but she decides that she was too young to be tied down.

Femme Fatale, Powerpuff Girls
A villain from the animated series Powerpuff Girls, Femme Fatale was described as "the feminist of all feminists," who unfortunately was portrayed as a man-hater. When she robbed banks, she only stole money in the form of Susan B. Anthony coins. Her weapon, a firearm, is shaped like a female symbol, as is her mask. She's a female supremist who convinces Buttercup, Blossom, and Bubbles that they have been taken advantage of, as females. However, the girls realize that feminism isn't about special treatment, but equal treatment, and lock Femme up in jail. (Femme cries that she looks fat in horizontal stripes.)

Janice Soprano Baccalieri, The Sopranos
Manipulative and headstrong, Janice (Aida Turturro) had a personality much like her mother Livia's. A free spirit when she was younger, she escaped the patriarchal structure of her family to travel around Europe and the U.S., only to return to New Jersey as an adult. Craving power, she would use sex and suggestion as means to an end. In one episode, Carmela tells Janice that if she continues to date the men in the "family business," she'll have to "accept a gumar." Janice said, "Oh, yeah? Well I'd like to see a gumar who's gonna let him hold a gun to their head when they fuck," telling Carmela that kind of sex play is no different than garter belts and nurse's uniforms. Carmela says, "Well, it's a gun, Janice. I thought you were a feminist." Janice replied matter-of-factly, "Usually he takes the clip out."

Detective Olivia Benson, Law & Order: SVU
As part of the Special Victims Unit that deals in crimes related to sexual assault (rape, molestation, etc.), Detective Benson (Mariska Hargitay) is often the empathetic voice looking out for the best interest victims. Although she is a child of her mother's rape, Detective Benson is an advocate for Plan B in rape kits. With episodes "ripped from the headlines," episodes deal with "sexting," internet predators, and the idea of rape as being a "hate crime," and the controversy of getting it classified as such.

Miranda Hobbes, Sex and the City
Of the four women characters on SATC, Miranda is the most vocal about being a feminist. A lawyer who owns her own apartment, she is cynical and initially was presented as kind of a misandrist. For a show that was supposed to embody modern feminism, Miranda was really the only character to openly profess her feminism and reference the movement in her dialogue. (In one episode she referred to Samantha as a "dime-store Camille Paglia" for her views on prostitution as being a legitimate exchange of power.)

Velma Dinkley, Scooby-Doo, The Venture Bros.
While many would consider the bookish, skillful, and apt Velma to be a feminist, it was never mentioned on the original Scooby-Doo series. However, on the Adult Swim animated series The Venture Bros., Velma was presented a lesbian, female elitist who viewed men as "incomplete females due to their XY chromosomes."

Marche argues that "brilliant, funny, and powerful women are retreating from sex" and uses the Tina Fey character Liz Lemon as an example:

The most complicated and intelligent woman in television comedy barely ever has sex. She doesn't sit on laps, either - "not a lap sitter," she tells one handsome date she brings home in the first season. (He turns out to be her cousin.) She admits to losing her virginity at twenty-five and accidentally reveals that she doesn't believe people can have intercourse standing up. Liz Lemon's low libido is one of 30 Rock's running gags…"

Things were not always so, Marche claims. He notes that just a decade ago, Seinfeld's Elaine Benes was "hilarious, smart, familiar with Russian novelists, an aggressive and demanding professional, and a woman who fooled around a lot."

Of course, Marche being an egotistical heterosexual man (writing in a magazine for men), his real complaint is that this situation is a "disaster" for men. "Until now," he writes, "feminism has been the best thing that ever happened to us, because it means we get to sleep with people rather than ciphers." Okay, your opinion! But it is interesting that lately, the female characters in the entertainment zeitgeist — from Pam on The Office to the shrill duo of Bride Wars to the chaste, bloodless pairing in Twilight — have sex as the last thing on their minds. There was a Sex And The City movie in which Samantha barely had sex. Seinfeld's Elaine had just as much sex as the guys on the show — maybe more — and was neither labeled a slut nor thought of as a some aberration of the norm. She was just a modern woman. A woman who dates men, and has sex with them. Revolutionary?

So Marche mourns the lack of Elaines in this world. Putting aside his needs — and what men like Marche want for a moment — wouldn't a smart, ambitious woman who has a healthy (meaning active) sex life be a great role model for women? Using 30 Rock as an example, the only choices shouldn't be the prudish Liz Lemon or the disastrous Jenna Maloney, who is all wiggle and no wit. Seems like the only ladies "allowed" to be sexual these days are the dreaded "cougars," and that label comes with its own mocking and derogatory baggage. So where have the loose women gone? Not you, or your friends, but the chicks on TV and in the movies? Let me know; I'll be watching Seinfeld reruns trying to figure it out.

Where Have All the Loose Women Gone? [Esquire]

Anyway, Liz decides to compensate for her abandonment by joining a "Letters to Santa" program, where poor kids write notes to St. Nick asking for presents, and guilty white ladies like Liz Lemon purchase them. In the above clip, Liz goes to deliver the presents to wee Deshante and Marcus, and tells them, "I'm the one who made Christmas happen!" To which one of the kids responds, "What about SANTA?!?" Clip Above.

Oprah On 30 Rock [NBC]

Obviously the show is exaggerated and purposely satirical (duh, it's a comedy), but the difficulty Liz faces in balancing her personal life and her gangbusters career is very real. Bev is skeptical of Liz's ability to mother a child because she works 60-80 hours a week, and this is something Tina Fey admits to struggling with in her own life as well. She tells today's USA Today that working on SNL and 30 Rock has been pretty difficult. Fey is incredibly grateful for her career, however "It's just that there's nothing else. You work, and you see your family when you can, and you go to bed. I don't see any movies. It took me a year to read The Year of Magical Thinking." Even sadder for our heroine, "I never get to have wine! I always have to go to bed. I can't really bitch about it, either. We have six weeks off — that's four weeks longer than most people. And it's a job where I can bring my daughter, if I want to, and I get to be with people I love."

Aw. Here's an extra dose of Fey-cuteness to tide you over, since it sounds like she will not be on SNL this weekend. It's a vignette about her daughter, Alice:

She's in nursery school. It's pretty cute. She has a backpack that takes up the entire size of her torso. She's really proud of it. If you said to her, 'What's in your backpack?' She's really cocky and says, 'Nothing.' There's nothing in it. She just carries it.

Tina Fey Is Between A 'Rock' And A Funny Place At 'SNL' [USA Today]
30 Rock Sneak Peek: "Do-Over" [Hulu — full episode!]

Dean Winters
Role on Sex: Carrie's fuck buddy John McFadden. After her second massive break from big, Carrie attempts to make her fuck buddy John into a real boyfriend. This attempt fails miserably.
Where Is He Now: Since his hard time in Carrie, Dean Winters moved on to greener pastures: he has a recurring role as Liz Lemon's hilariously deadbeat boyfriend on 30 Rock, Dennis "the beeper king" Duffy. He also has a recurring role on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

John Slattery
Role on Sex: Bill Kelley, an up-and-coming politician and total silver fox. His relationship with Carrie fizzles because he's obsessed with golden showers.
Where Is He Now: As silvery and foxy as ever, John plays slimy-yet-handsome ad exec Roger Sterling. He also had a recurring role on Desperate Housewives, but our hearts belong to Roger.

David Duchovny
Role on Sex: Carrie's erstwhile high school boyfriend Jeremy. He lives in Denver, but has taken a trip out East so he can go to a mental institution. His relationship with Carrie is a no-go because of his mental fragility, but that did not preclude them from knocking the boots a couple times.
Where Is He Now: We all know that David stars as a sex addict on the acclaimed Showtime dramedy Californication and also in his actual life. He was already a bona fide TV star before his time on Sex, but perhaps his time in Carrie-land inspired him to take the more emotionally complex role of Hank Moody on Californication.

Craig Bierko
Role on Sex: Creepy jazz-obsessed Ray King. Things do not work out with Carrie because he can barely hold a conversation that doesn't involve music.
Where Is He Now: earlier this year, Craig starred in a Fox sitcom called Unhitched with Rashida Jones. He played Jack 'Gator' Gately, a 35-year-old who recently divorced his college sweetheart. He is back in the dating scene and totally clueless. Even though it was produced by There's Something About Mary scribes Bobby and Peter Farrelly, the show was canceled after six episodes. However, we know that Carrie holds a leprauchan-ish pot of gold between those gams of hers, so we have high hopes that Craig's TV career will rebound in the near future!

I think Harding is entirely missing the point here. First of all, the person who most makes fun of Liz Lemon's appearance is her blowhard boss, Alec Baldwin's Jack Donaghy. You know, the same man who said, in response to Lemon's declaration that she had $12,000 in her checking account, "What are you, an immigrant?" The idea here is that when Jack Donaghy rags on Liz Lemon, you're supposed to think, "Jack Donaghy's a LOLworthy asshole," rather than "Liz Lemon is a total heifer."

Secondly, Tina Fey isn't conventionally gorgeous. I'm not going to argue here about her specific clothing size or her precise level of attractiveness, but come on. "Conventionally gorgeous" in America these days is Heidi Klum. Perhaps Tina Fey is an idealized version of a "real" woman, but she is 99% more "real" than most other women we see on TV. Thirdly, while Fey's character is portrayed as a nerd, she's also portrayed as someone with an amazing career that many, many women would die to have. It's not like she's some pathetic creature; her "geeky underdog-ness" is generally shown in flashbacks from her childhood and adolescence. I don't see how Fey's occasional self-deprecation is reinforcing the idea to anyone that being bigger than a size 2 is "ugly." There's more! When Liz Lemon falls into the common tropes of single womanhood (choking on a TV dinner in her kitchenette), it's supposed to be parodying precisely the kinds of media that reinforce ideas that unconventional women are unworthy (see Liz Lemon drinking wine while running on a treadmill and MILF Island for further reference).

Harding also writes, "No one likes an egomaniac, but frankly, no one likes self-loathing people, either," but Fey's self-deprecation — "self-loathing" is way too strong a word — is precisely what makes her relatable. In an ideal world, yes, we'd all feel just dandy about ourselves and greet each day with animated canaries perched on our shoulders. But most women? We have many moments of self-doubt, and seeing someone as successful as Tina Fey be self-deprecating gives us all permission to be imperfect. Also, it's damned funny. Having a completely well-adjusted television mogul as a main character? That sounds boring as fuck.

30 Rock is a comedy, which is not to excuse comedy from having a conscience, but expecting it to tow the line of extreme P.C. body image standards is barking up the wrong tree. 30 Rock is a damned sight better than most shows on television in showing women with "real" bodies and addressing body image issues, like when Jane Krakowski's character, Jenna, gains weight and Jack Donaghy says, "She needs to lose thirty pounds or gain sixty. Anything in between has no place on television." With lines like those, Fey incites a jumping off point for discussion, and isn't that what the best television should do?

Something To Talk About [Shapely Prose]

Earlier: 30 Rock's Liz Lemon Is Stranded On MILF Island
30 Rock's Liz Lemon Drunk Dials, Sings Alanis Morrisette Into A Wine Bottle Microphone

• Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to pose topless in Playboy. Since we already saw her nipples in New York magazine, what would be the point? [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, there's a truce in the Lohan fam: Michael is actually saying nice things about Dina! And mom, dad and all the kids will allegedly all be together for the final service for Lindsay's grandfather, who died last week. They'll scatter his ashes in a Long Island harbor. [E!]
• You know how Sarah Palin was on the cover of Us? Apparently the magazine "lost thousands of subscribers in the first 24 hours" following the printing of the issue. [MSNBC]

• Lily Allen's suffering from a major hangover and some regret after drunkly swearing on stage at the GQ Awards. Her Facebook status is "dying inside" and she wrote that she "feels like killing" herself, although that part has since been removed. Free champagne is a blessing and a curse. [Daily Mail]
• Leighton Meester and Blake Lively of Gossip Girl: Guest stars on 30 Rock this fall. Apparently Liz Lemon was a mean girl in high school! [EW]
• Heidi Montag: "I'm waiting for my Barbie Doll. That's what I want next." Spencer Pratt: "We just talked to Mattel yesterday, and we are already working on our own Ken and Barbie." That sound you hear: Thunderous hooves, as the Apocalyptic horsemen approach. [Socialite Life]
• Romeo Beckham is The Dark Knight. [The Sun]
• Balthazar Getty and Matthew Rhys, who play brothers on Brothers & Sisters are not speaking to each other, and it's Sienna Miller's fault. Naturally. [E!]
• Hayden Panettiere, 19, is moving into her own house in West Hollywood. But! Her beau, Milo Ventimiglia, is upset because he thought they were moving in together. Turns out she's wary of Milo, who keeps talking about marriage. A source says: "She's not even old enough to have a drink, so she's not even thinking about settling down." [Star]
• Whoa, there's a feud between Alec Baldwin and Greg Garcia, the exec producer of My Name Is Earl. Alec can't understand why they'd do a one-hour episode of Earl: You've got to be fucking kidding me," he says. Garcia says Alec sounds like a "psychotic narcissist." [Page Six, Defamer]
• This story about Jennifer Aniston is titled: "Did Brangelina Spoil Jennifer For Other Men?" Here is an actual line from the article: "When it comes to men, Jen’s radar seems hopelessly broken, leaving her prey to the serial-shagger charms of men such as [Paul] Sculfor, who is now cosily loved up with Cameron Diaz, and [John] Mayer, who has been involved with a string of other celebs including Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt." [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse ordered 48 bottles of Jack Daniel's. For a weekend gig. [The Sun]
• Kim Kardashian is helping sister Khloe with Celebrity Apprentice. First assignment: Lunch with Omarosa. Uh-oh! [Page Six]
• Tension in New Kids On The Block? Seems like Donnie won't hang out with the other kids or play their reindeer games. [Page Six]
• Richard Branson says, "The best way to reduce your carbon footprint is not to fly at all. But that's not realistic. You can't walk to England." He has a solution, of course: "Fly Virgin. One hundred percent of all profits from all our airlines are reinvested into finding a cleaner fuel solution. We had an experimental 747 that ran on coconut oil… but it took 150,000 coconuts for one flight. So now we're looking at developing fuel from algae. If you fly Virgin, you'll support this cause." [Rush & Molloy]
• Rachel Weisz was voted Hollywood's hottest babe — in a poll of 4,000 lesbians. [The Sun]
• Actor Joe Pantoliano, aka Ralph Cifaretto on the Sopranos, was at the RNC lobbying for his charity, No Kidding, which deals with brain disease. Joey Pants sufferers from clinical depression. [Page Six]
• The court case between Matt LeBlanc and his former business manager has been settled. You can click to see the court papers or think a happy thought about butterflies, and I suggest the latter, because the papers are a yawn. [ET]
• One year after vowing never to perform on the MTV Awards again, Kanye West will close the show's 25th annual ceremony in Hollywood on Sunday. [Reuters]
• Christina Aguilera will also perform at the VMAs. [Daily Star]
• Don't hold your breath for U2's new album: It's been pushed to 2009. Bono says the band has 50 or 60 new songs to consider for inclusion. Decision time. [Reuters]
• The dude who robbed Kiki Dunst's hotel room last August is getting four years in jail. Maybe that's why his MySpace has Jewish prayer music on it? [Gothamist]
• Ciara: Naked on the cover of Vibe magazine. [Concrete Loop]
• Akon performed in South Africa last week and when one of his female fans embraced him, he violently elbowed her off the stage. [Molly Good]
• Anthony Edwards will appear on the final season of ER, but Dr. Mark Greene is not back from the dead: He'll be in flashback scenes. [AP]
• Are you the Gatekeeper? Columbia Pictures is working on a new installment of Ghostbusters. [LA Times]
• An L.A. businessman is suing Gene Simmons over an Indy Racing League deal. [E!]
• "It's going to stop one day. It's not that you fall. It's just one day there are new people, and, you know, the opportunities aren't what they once were. It happens to everybody, man. I prepare for the worst. I think every show I do, I realize I could get booed off the stage and they could throw tomatoes. Hey — Michael Jackson, man. One day you're Vanilla Ice and the next day you're…Vanilla Ice." — Chris Rock on his career. [Page Six]
• "I live in Costa Rica, way off the grid. We live off solar power, with no car, and no telephone. I'm nothing like my character. I'm more into the environment." — Perrey Reeves, aka Entourage's Mrs. Ari Gold. [Rush & Molloy]
• "I didn't really have any expectations. They say it gives you a little more juice for the first year and that's it. It certainly didn't help me get this movie made." — Helen Hunt, on life after winning an Oscar, and her directorial debut, Then She Found Me, in which Salman Rushie has a part as an obstetrician. [Guardian]
• "The corsets were very restrictive. The worst part was after lunch because they don’t help your digestion." — Keira Knightley on burping her way through The Duchess. [The Sun]
• "I don't always love kids. Sometimes I absolutely loathe them. Children are just people who haven't lived very long yet. I'm predisposed to be affectionate if someone’s smaller but if they're loathsome in the first five minutes, they're loathsome.” — Colin Firth. [Daily Express]
• "I had sex if I had the energy. I wasn't one of those guys who believed in the myths about the guy losing his chi. The fact is that if you are riding your bike six, seven hours a day, you are not a sex champion. You're just not. You have fatigue, low testosterone and a lower libido. But you know, I never got any complaints." — Lance Armstrong to Men's Journal. [Page Six]

• Oprah! In final talks! To be on 30 Rock! She'll play herself in scenes with Tina Fey's character Liz Lemon. Will Arnett and Jennifer Aniston are also making appearances on the show this fall. The bad news? The season premiere doesn't air until October 30. [E!]
• Paris Hilton has "manipulated" the Toronto Film Festival to get more publicity for a documentary about herself. There were three screenings of the film Paris, Not France; now there is only one, because that will "create more buzz." Hasn't her moment in the spotlight come and gone? [Page Six]
• The trailer for Lindsay Lohan's new movie, Labor Pains, is online. LL plays a publishing assistant who avoids getting fired by pretending to be pregnant. It looks almost barely funny. [People]

• Jon Voight is one of the few openly Republican celebrities at the RNC. He thinks John McCain is "an amazing guy." He says Sarah Palin was a "beautiful choice." He claims John McCain's 95-year-old mom is "tough as nails." [LA Times]
• Jennifer Lopez commissioned a book of nude photos of herself two weeks before she gave birth and gave it to hubby Mark Anthony. "I was like, how am I going to rock this moment of my life? I felt very womanly. Marc was in a dream. He loved it." [Star]
• This headline reads: "Sex Addict David Duchovny 'Cheated On Wife Tea Leoni For Years." Oh, dear. [Daily Mail]
• This report claims that Tea Leoni has been visiting Duchovny in rehab. [ONTD]
• More on Duchovny's "indiscretions" and Leoni's ultimatum: "Get treatment or our marriage is over." [Rush & Molloy]
• Paula Abdul loves her new American Idol cohost Kara DioGuardi, whom she met years before. Apparently the two have been hanging out in hotel rooms, going to dinner and sharing laughs about the old days in the music biz. Paula says: "The American Idol cast was such a boys club, now I have a true sister to share the fun with. It's been amazing." [Page Six]
• Star Jones has a new gentlemanfriend! They were seen kissing in the stands of the US Open. He's a chef! [People]
• Here's video of drunk Lily Allen on stage with Elton John at the GQ Awards. You can see her say, "Fuck off Elton," as previously discussed. [Perez Hilton]
• Entourage is coming back September 7, with special guest stars Leighton Meester and Tony Bennett. [Fox News]
• David Spade's a father: Playboy Playmate Jillian Grace gave birth to Spade's daughter Aug. 26 in Missouri. Back in January, Spade said: "I had a brief relationship with Jillian Grace. If it is true that I am the father of her child, then I will accept responsibility." Guess the test came back positive. [UPI]
• Yesterday, a judge dismissed most of a lawsuit filed by a woman who accused a paparazzi agency of secretly filming Heath Ledger doing drugs in her hotel room. She needs to amend her claims if she wants to get anywhere. [Yahoo News]
• Britney was busted for driving with an invalid license last year, and she might have to go to trial in October. [E!]
• Lynne Spears' new book says Britney started drinking at 13, lost her virginity at 14 and did drugs at 15. Gimme more! [News.com.au]
• Christina Aguilera's greatest hits CD — which features two new songs and rerecorded versions of two other hits — will be released only at Target. Can you believe it's been ten years since her first album? [USA Today]
• An in-depth look at Bono's do-gooding. [Wired]
• Blender magazine has named 2Pac the most overrated artist. Are they not afraid of getting shot? [Reuters]
• Headline of the day: "How Did Glamour Model Jordan Become A Bestselling Author When She Doesn't Even Write?" [Daily Mail]
• Earlier this year, 90210's Jennie Garth had a terrible family crisis: "I had this six months of hell," she says. "I had a sick daughter and then my father passed away, so there was a six month period in my life when I didn't think about my looks or my weight or my body or anything." Turns out her kid had a form of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis but it's in remission now. [People]
• Mackenzie Philips was charged with cocaine and heroin possession yesterday after being arrested last week while going through airport security. Oh, she's also charged with unauthorized possession of a hypodermic needle. [Yahoo News]
• If you've got half a million dollars, check out the Jimi Hendrix, Beatles and Elvis memorabilia up for auction today. $900,000 will get you a scorched guitar that Jimi set on fire in London in March 1967! [AP]
• RIP Bill Melendez, the animator for Snoopy, Charlie Brown and other Peanuts characters. He met Peanuts creator Charles Schulz in 1959. The two became friends and Melendez was the only one authorized to animate his characters. [AP]
• "When I was 3, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since." — Sarah Silverman in Rolling Stone. [Page Six]
• "My father saved my life. I probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him." — Britney Spears. [MSNBC]
• "You were the love of my life. I’ll always love you. You know that, baby." — Anne Hathaway's supposed parting words to Rafaello Follieri. [MSNBC]
• "I'm over being a pop star. I don't wanna be a hot girl. I wanna be iconic. And I feel like I've accomplished a lot. I feel like I'm highly respected, which is more important than any award or any amount of records. And I feel like there comes a point when being a pop star is not enough." — Beyoncé. [ET]
• "In Scotland I'm just like a lot of other guys. But in America I'm seen as a very strong, masculine guy. In Glasgow, you probably grow up faster. You have to deal with more shit, more realism. In LA, it's a superficial, perfect world. In Glasgow, you're expected to be a man - but it doesn't make you the perfect man. It makes you a man who's not able to talk about his feelings." — Hot Scot Gerard Butler. [Guardian]