Jezebel: living la vida lohan

Ali Lohan Releases A Stupid Video For Her Dumb Song

Tracie — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:00:00 EDT

This is the video for Ali Lohan's single "All the Way Around," which was released about two weeks ago on iTunes and, according to a promotional email we just received, debuted on iTunes pop chart at #46. We are supposed to be impressed by this, but I'm pretty sure that the stripper with the blond braids from The Real World: Hollywood had a higher debut when her album came out. Either way, this video is such a cheap piece of crap. It's just random clips from Living Lohan, slapped together with the track playing over it. What is going on with this girl's career, Dina?

Living Lohan: Does Ali Lohan Really Want To Be An Entertainer?

Tracie — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:00:00 EDT

We keep hearing from Dina Lohan that her daughter Ali is such a natural performer and that Dina is just helping her daughter fulfill her dream. But there are so many instances in which seems like Ali is miserable, whether it's because she's missing out on the fun when she is working in Vegas, or because the girls at school tease her. On last night's episode of Living Lohan, Ali had an audition for a remake of Troll — which, BTW, happens to be a project I'm very optimistic about — but, at the last minute she said that she didn't want to go because she didn't "feel good." Nana told her that was a "pile of shit" and that she should get in the car. She ended up going and getting the part, but according to IMDb, she's still not officially attached to the role. Ali, do it! If only to make me laugh.

Stage Mom Dina Lohan Gets Her Moment In The Spotlight

Tracie — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:00:00 EDT

It's hard to believe Dina Lohan's claims that this whole showbiz thing is all about her kids and what they want out of life, when she seems to behave to the contrary on Living Lohan. On last night's episode, Dina met with a potential choreographer for Ali, and somehow this meeting turned into Dina dancing with the choreographer and putting together a routine for the two of them to do together. Later in the episode, Cody "surprised" Dina by arranging an audience for her at the Pearl Theater in the Palms casino to perform in front of. She feigned anger and nerves for about 30 seconds before she began doing flips, splits and tossing her hair on stage. Clip above.

Michael Lohan's Love Child Already Working The Press

Tracie — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 11:00:00 EDT

Michael Lohan sure has a knack for joining forces with others who are also more than willing to put their children in the spotlight. Lohan's alleged love child Ashley and her mother Kristi Kaufman were interviewed on Entertainment Tonight yesterday, in which the two talked about how much Ashley looks like Lindsay — which she really doesn't — and how much she really wants to meet her half-siblings. The pair also said that it's time for Michael to own up to his responsibility and make good on the promises he's made to Ashley and her mother...like helping to make Ashley a star. (Seriously, these people said this.) What's super incriminating though, is all the jail mail that Michael sent to Ashley while he was locked up, signing each letter "Love, Daddy." Clip above.

Living Lohan: Kids Grow Up Fast When You Put Them To Work In Vegas

Tracie — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:30:00 EDT

It's interesting to hear people who know the Lohans — but who aren't the Lohans — talk about the Lohans. On last night's episode of Living Lohan, Ali was supposed to go in the studio with Jeremy, the sleazy, self-promoting hip hop producer who exploited a "relationship" he was having with Lindsay to get some attention from the press. Jeremy was having a discussion with Ali's vocal coach about Ali's work ethic and the two agreed that even though Ali is 14, she seems 27. And they think this is a good thing! Clip above.

Is Ali Lohan's Dream Really A Nightmare?

Tracie — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 11:30:00 EDT

Whenever stage moms or dads defend their decision to put their children in show business, they always say, "My kid has talent, I'm just helping him/her follow a dream. It's his/her choice." The kids in question memorize the defense and repeat it to anyone who asks — as is the case of Ali Lohan. Sure, Ali probably wants to be a famous singer. A lot of young girls do. But when it comes down to doing the work involved, being pressured with perfection, and missing out on fun kid's stuff, it became clear to us on last night's episode of Living Lohan, that Ali's not so much following a dream but rather, being dragged into it.

Which Is Worse: Being A Child Star Or Being The Sibling Of A Child Star?

Tracie — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 19:00:00 EDT

Sometimes, when watching Living Lohan, I want to cut Dina Lohan some slack, and think of her as the normal, suburban Long Island mom that she insists she is. However after hearing both Cody and Michael Jr. talk about the sacrifices they have to make (being pulled from school and leaving their friends for months at a time) for their sisters' careers, I wonder if Dina really is the nightmare stage mom the press makes her out to be. Then again, her second child Michael, who's now 20, seems to be relatively well adjusted, so who really knows? Clip above.

Michael Lohan Jr. Is Refreshingly "Normal"

Tracie — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:00:00 EDT

We never really hear about Michael Lohan Jr. After seeing him on Living Lohan last night, I'm thinking that's because he might just be the sanest, most grounded person in that family. He was the first to admit to the family having to deal with the fallout from his parents' bitter divorce and "Lindsay and all her crap," whereas Dina attributes the family's troubles to the tabloid media. It's kinda sad how Michael has taken on the responsibility of being the "man of the house" at the age of 20, and that Dina willingly allows him to accept that. I felt kinda bad for Michael's girlfriend when watching the episode, because the girl really wanted to go home and spend time with her own family, but her needs weren't as important as the Lohan clan's. Christ, could you imagine having to deal with them as in-laws? Even though they aren't really married? Clip above.

Dina Lohan Asks Ali What Liquid Is In Lindsay's Water Bottles

Tracie — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 11:30:00 EDT

Despite Dina Lohan's insistence that she "can't stop" Ali from trying to "chase her dream" of being a hip hop artist (it's OK, you can laugh at that part), or can't protect her from "evil" reporters, she invited Access Hollywood into her home to interview her 14-year-old child, even though the kid had nothing in particular to promote. Dina sat down with Ali to prep her for the interview and asked a series of questions about older sister Lindsay that, frankly, seemed kind of inappropriate. If Dina wants Ali to be "normal," it would seem to us that she could just make the kid go to school and not bother searching this shit out, and inviting it into her home.

Lohan's Fire Is Not In A Crotch But An Electrical Outlet

Tracie — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Dina Lohan's reasons for wanting to do a reality show — to show the real Lohans, and dispel tabloid rumors about the family — always seemed really weird to me, because in most cases, reality TV participants tend to put off, not endear viewers to them. But mostly it's weird because last night's episode of Living Lohan — in which Dina went to a club in NYC (the same one where Samantha Ronson, her daughter's alleged girlfriend, DJ'd about a month ago) to celebrate making the cover of a magazine, while her children were at home with a babysitter, and the house caught on fire — just served to confirm the things that the tabloids have been saying about her all along.

And for those of us counting at home, the Lindsay mentions in this 22 minute episode came to a grand total of 11.

Living Lohan's Biggest Star Never Makes An Appearance

Tracie — Tue, 27 May 2008 12:00:00 EDT

So, Living Lohan premiered last night, and although we are well aware that Lindsay won't be appearing on any episodes — as Dina put it, "it would be a step down for her" — Lindsay is actually a key player in the show, as she's mentioned in just about every single scene. In fact, Dina wakes up every day and immediately begins going through tabloids and gossip pages to keep on top of what people are saying about her most famous daughter. (She also has her assistant do daily Google checks to see what other rumors and stories are popping up.) It's practically an obsession. Clip above.

Dina & Ali Lohan Cop Attitude Over Suggestion That Reality TV Is The Wrong Move

Tracie — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:00:00 EDT

Dina and Ali Lohan have been doing the press rounds for their new reality show Living Lohan premiering this weekend, and last night they were on Showbiz Tonight. The two got all defensive and rude in response to very valid questions about how Dina will keep Ali away from the same path Lindsay traveled down and whether they are at all concerned about the "reality TV curse" that stars like Osbournes have suffered from. Dina said that Lindsay is on a "fine path" and that the reporter was just "believing what [he's] read." She also said that nothing like what happened to the Osbournes will ever happen to the Lohans because they are "different." Uh, how? They're both famous families with a genetic predisposition to addiction! Anyway, at the end of the interview, Ali was asked if Lindsay has given her any advice about the business. You can hear Dina say under her breath, "Watch reporters." Yeah, it's the reporters' fault, lady.

Don't Screw With Dina Lohan's Meal Tickets Kids

Tracie — Mon, 19 May 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Here's a clip from Living Lohan, the reality show about momager Dina and her attempt at making her daughter Ali the new Lindsay. Dina has said that she signed up for the show because "I just want to get the message across that we are a normal family. People believe I’m this crazy party mom, [but] I have never partied with Lindsay." Well, she seems to be on the right track, since the series follows the Lohans as they leave their Merrick, NY home to live in the Palms casino in Vegas, where 14-year-old Ali is recording her album. All very normal, and non-party-like! In the clip above, Dina discovers those rumored BJ photos of Lindsay, and calls up whatever blog published them (probs Perez) to try and flex some legal muscle.