It's partly the sound of the name — that soft l, that sibilant s — that makes Lisa sound kind of ditsy and insubstantial. And it's partly the association with Lisa Frank that makes me think of Lisas as obsessed with pink and unicorns and not much else. To me, Lisa is a bit of an airhead name. She's a hot girl, and she puts a lot of effort into her hotness — practicing her hair flip, applying and reapplying her mascara in homeroom. As a result, she doesn't have a lot of time for other pursuits — like, say, reading. She chews gum, she knows a lot about TV, she has a Valley-girl accent no matter where she's from. She definitely dots her i's with hearts.

But a quick look at famous Lisas blows my Lisa prejudices right out of the water. We have, for instance, journalist Lisa Ling, whose impassioned pleas for the release of her sister Laura from North Korea were anything but airheaded. There's Lisa Leslie, the first woman to dunk in the WNBA, who's been outspoken about girls and sports. Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes of TLC — who used to wear a condom over her left eye to promote safe sex — had her problems, but ditsiness wasn't one of them. And, of course, one of pop culture's most famous Lisas is Lisa Simpson, the brains and conscience of her entire family.

So where did my Lisa stereotypes come from? I do think a lot of the blame falls on the ever-popular purveyor of rainbow-colored school supplies, but just because something is rainbow doesn't mean it's dumb. In fact, I may just be buying into the damaging assumption that only a certain kind of girl likes makeup or pretty things — one Lisa Leslie herself has actually challenged. More than anything, I think I'm remembering girls I went to school with in the 80s and 90s, when Lisa was still a pretty popular name (it slipped from #31 in America to #118 during that time). These Lisas knew their way around the eye shadow and a blow dryer back when I was still using butterfly clips to keep my hair out of my eyes, and I think I assumed that beauty maintenance crowded everything else out of their skulls. But maybe I was wrong.

I still think Lisa's a name with lip gloss all over it — note that Lisa Ling always appeared perfectly coiffed, and that Lisa Leslie has worked as a model. But makeup does not an airhead make. Lisa Simpson once said, "beneath my goody two shoes lie some very dark socks," and beneath the name's highly buffed exterior frequently lies some serious badassery and wit. Lisas of the world, I owe you an apology.

Lisa [Wikipedia]
Lisa [The Baby Name Wizards]

Earlier: K Is For Kate, Who Kicks Ass, Takes Names
J Is For Jennifer, The Vanilla Of Names
I Is For Isabel, Who's Snooty, But Earns It
H Is For Hillary, A Barrel Of Laughs
G Is For Grace - What's That Up Her Sleeve?
F Is For Francesca, And I Wish I Were Her
E Is For Emily, Who Seems Sweet (At First)
D Is For Danielle (Or Dani, Who's Apparently Kinda Judgey)
C Is For Courtney, Who's Too Cool For School
B is for Beth (And Barack! And Bandana!)
A Is For Anna: What My First Name Says About Me

• Chris Brown was sentenced today to 5 years probation and 180 days of community labor. The judge said she's aware of the rumors that he and Rihanna are in touch and won't tolerate a violation of the protective order.

• She ordered Chris not to assault or threaten Rihanna, or even speak to her on the phone or through a third party. He has to stay 100 years away from her, or 10 yards away if they're at an industry event. The judge said she wants Chris to do hard work for his community service, like washing cars or removing graffiti. He has to pay several fines, can't own weapons, and must complete a 52 week domestic violence program. [TMZ]
• Jon Gosselin says being paid to have your life filmed is hard work. "I wish I had a 9 to 5 job instead of the nightmare I'm living. This is 24/7," he said. "I don't even want to do taping for the show anymore." [Us]
• Jon and Kate Gosselin are feuding over money. Jon says Kate is hiding assets from him and Kate says he's wasting the kids' money on taking various female friends on vacation, buying sports cars, and renting a pricy New York apartment. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse is suing ex Blake Fielder-Civil's mother for selling one of the letters she wrote him while he was in jail. [The Sun]
• During a trip to Las Vegas Paris Jackson went to a salon with one of her aunts and got what she said was her first haircut. [People]
• Lisa Marie Presley says Christine White, the former nanny who is suing her for not getting meal breaks and having to work 7 days a week, actually took frequent breaks in her own guest house on the property and had chefs and other staff at her disposal. Presley says, "Ms. White's self-entitlement became more and more severe as she became exposed to the various 'perks' she was given on the job." [TMZ]
• Ola Ray, the woman who starred in the "Thriller" video, sued Michael Jackson in May claiming she wasn't paid enough. Now she's filed a creditor's claim against his estate. [TMZ]
• Steven Tyler says he's recovering from breaking his shoulder after jumping off the stage at a show, saying, "I've been better. I've got my arm in a sling. I'm on all the drugs I'm not supposed to be on. But I'm dealing with the pain pretty good." He joked that he jumped off the stage because the band needed publicity. As for the rumors that he was drunk during the incident he joked, "Do I sound fucked up or stoned?" [Rolling Stone]
• Shia LaBeouf was seen cuddling and kissing his Money Never Sleeps co-star Carey Mulligan at a cafe in New York on Sunday. [People]
• Officials from the Church of Bulgaria are urging people not to attend a Madonna concert in the country this weekend because they say she "openly violates" Christian symbols and displays "a disrespectful and intolerant attitude" toward Christians. [AP]
• Debi Mazar says that her best friend Madonna is excited that she'll be on the new season of Dancing With The Stars (with dancing partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy). "She's really excited for me," said Mazar. "She was on her way to Budapest and she just said, "Oh, my God! How great! And you are dancing with Russians-how lucky are you?!" [E!]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur joked that she didn't write her weight loss blog for People last week because she "called in fat." [People]
• Brandi Glanville says she had an idea that her husband Eddie Cibrian was attracted to LeAnn Rimes when they went on a double date with LeAnn and her husband Dean Sheremet. Glanville says she's used to woman throwing themselves at Eddie but, "it was different this time. It was a little more reciprocated." She says that Rimes and Sheremet "were very touchy-feely. They seemed happy. [But] I felt like it was almost like 'I love my husband. I'm not after your husband.'" [People]
• In the next few weeks Wikipedia will introduce a system to check new entries about famous people before they go live to prevent false entries. [Telegraph]
• Javier Bardem, John Leguizamo, Penelope Cruz and Rosario Dawson will be honored at the ALMA awards on September 17, which celebrate Latino achievement in entertainment. [Hollywood Reporter]
• TLC members Rozonda Thomas and Tionne Watkins (a.k.a. Chilli and T-Boz) will perform together for the first time in six years at the Justin Timberlake and Friends concert in Las Vegas on October 17. [Rolling Stone]
• At the link is a two minute video of Jasmine Fiore shot in 2005 when she hosted a promotional segment for a Las Vegas clothing store. [Radar Online]
• Jordan denied the rumors that she's pregnant with Alex Reid's baby, writing on her website, "No no no its sooo not true looks like ill have to pee on the preggie stick to prove this not engaged of getting married x [sic]." [The Sun]
• True Blood had 5.3 million viewers on Sunday, making it the show's highest rated episode ever. [Entertainment Weekly]
• Alyssa Milano and David Bugliari are on their honeymoon at an undisclosed South Pacific resort. A friend of the couple says, "They've already celebrated their one-week anniversary." [People]
• BBC Radio Ulster is in trouble with a media regulating agency because Tony Curtis called in to a radio show in the middle of the day and said "bastards," "bullshit," and "fuck off." He didn't realize the show was live. [The Guardian]
• Patrick Stewart saw a ghost while performing Waiting For Godot with Ian McKellen at the Theatre Royal Haymarket, which many believe is haunted. Stewart saw a man standing in the wings wearing 19th century garb and told McKellen during intermission, "I just saw a ghost. On stage, during Act One." [Telegraph]
• "I think of myself as a funny guy but nobody thinks I'm funnier than my daughters. We have three dogs. If I act like one of the dogs with the dogs, they go crazy. It's like we're talking Richard Pryor in his heyday." — Jerry O'Connell [People]
• "In the mid-'90s, my dad said to me 'Son, you've got all of your eggs in one basket and you are living and dying by music,'" says Billy Ray Cyrus. "He said 'I want you to have a career like Kenny Rogers.'" Billy Ray took his dad's advice and became and actor, winning a role in Mulholland Drive. [CNN]
• "Tabloids were my text books, I'd tear out pages. I embrace pop culture; everything that people say is poisonous, ostentatious and shallow. It's like my chemistry book. I look though everything and make what I believe is art out of it." — Lady Gaga [CNN]

• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick's surrogate gave birth to their twin girls this morning in Ohio. Sarah Jessica and Matthew are at the hospital with the surrogate and released a statement saying:

• "Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are delighted to announce the healthy arrival of their two daughters. Marion Loretta Elwell Broderick weighed 5 lbs, 11oz and Tabitha Hodge Broderick weighed 6 pounds. Both Hodge and Elwell are family names on Parker's side. The babies are doing beautifully and the entire family is over the moon. [TMZ, ABC News]
• Kate Gosselin's brother Kevin Kreider and his wife Jodi Kreider were so outraged by Kate discussing her divorce on TV that they agreed to do an interview with Radar Online in their home minutes after last night's Jon and Kate Plus 8 ended. Kevin said, "We're just so heartbroken and sad about the announcement they made... an announcement that could be so life-shattering for a young child. It was used to gain ratings without any regard for my nieces and nephews." [Radar Online]
• Miranda Tozier-Robbins, the woman who was allegedly caught peeping into Britney Spears' home, pled not guilty today to charges of trespassing, peeping, and prowling. A pretrial date was is set for July 17. [TMZ]
• Lil Wayne attended a pretrial hearing in Arizona related to drug posession and weapons charges. The judge set another date for August 11. [USA Today]
• Darryl Hannah and others were arrested at a protest in West Virginia against mountaintop removal mining. Protesters were blocking a road near a coal processing plant. [USA Today]
• E! is now a "Speidi-Free Zone." The network won't cover Spencer and Heidi Pratt, "Barring any actual news (e.g., she gets knocked up, he falls off a cliff or-heaven help us-her album goes to No. 1), consider this their very last post." [E!]
• Audrina Patridge stars in a new Carl's Jr. ad. While wearing a gold bikini, she rolls around on the beach and eats a "healthier" Teriyaki Burger. She says, "To look this good in a bikini, I've got to give up, like, everything. But there's no way I'm giving up that Teriyaki burger. I'm totally obsessed. I have to be a little bad." [The Sun]
• While speaking at the National Conference on Volunteers and Service, Matthew McConaughey talked about expecting his second child with girlfriend Camilla Alves. "We are putting after-school fitness and wellness programs into underserved communities nationwide, teaching physical fitness, nutrition education, with an emphasis on daily gratitude for how much or how little we have," McConaughey said, "And now that I'm blessed to be a father myself – I got one at home [Levi] who's 11 months and as you people know, we have another one in the oven, three months – this foundation and its cause means even more to me." [People]
• Though Nick Cannon says wife Mariah Carey isn't pregnant, he's announced that when the day comes he'll be a great dad. "I want to be a father that's all about love," says Cannon. "That's the main thing to get right and at the end of the day it's just about smothering my children with love. The same way I do to my wife!" [People]
• Would you vote for President Jolie? Supposedly Angelina Jolie is thinking of entering politics. "Ange has admitted she's getting bored with Hollywood. She said she's now got her sights set on Washington," says a friend. "She is passionate about people's rights, war and justice and thinks she can get more hands-on and make even more of a difference by getting into politics. She admires Obama and thinks she could make a big difference too if she were in his position." [The Daily Express]
• Eve will appear in two episodes of Glee as a "no-nonsense girls' choir director from a rival school." Whitney Houston was being considered for the part. [Entertainment Weekly]
• According to the annual report of the British Board of Film Classification, several viewers complained about Dame Judi Dench's swearing in Quantum of Solace. "Almost every time Dame Judi swears in a film, regardless of its category, we can expect a number of complaints," said the report. "It seems that she should not use such language." [The Mirror]
• Nick Jonas is meeting with Speaker Nancy Pelosi's office this afternoon on behalf of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. [Politico]
• Zac Efron has been signed to star in an untitled "sexy thriller." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• If you want to see some spoilers concerning whether or not Dominic Monaghan will return to Lost, read on: [E!]
• Sam Kinison's widow, Malika Borghese is suing Sam's brother for allegedly forging the comedian's will 17 years ago. She claims he rewrote the will to give himself most of his brother's estate, but she only found out in 2007. [TMZ]
• A coroner has announced that Former Wilco guitarist Jay Bennett died of an overdose of the pain killer fentanyl. He had posted on MySpace that he was getting ready for hip replacement surgery after years of pain. [AP]
• Despite rumors that she was given special treatment in prison, Foxy Brown says, "It was incarceration, not vacation. I only wore the designer clothing I was allowed to have." [The N.Y. Post]
• If you're a great tattoo artist, Megan Fox would like to meet you. "I'm looking for a really good artist," she said, "So if you fancy yourself one, try and find me. Have your people talk to my people, and I'll come see you." [E!]
• Paul McCartney has been telling friends he's confident that he'll live to be 100. "Paul has a hunch he'll still be here to mark his 100th year," says a family source. "At the end of the day he leads a pretty healthy life with a strict vegetarian diet and he exercises regularly. He certainly sees 100 as a reachable target." [The Daily Express]
• Courteney Cox will guest star in an episode of Lisa Kudrow's online comedy series Web Therapy, which is produced by Lexus for their branded entertainment network. Alan Cumming, Steven Weber and Victor Garber will also guest star in the second season. [Brand Week]
• Patti LuPone responded to the New York Times story on her pausing a performance to yell at an audience member who may have been photographing her. She wrote in an email: "I found the tone of your report very snide and feel compelled to write you to ask – what do expect me, or any performer for that matter, to do? Do we allow our rights to be violated (photography, filming and audio taping of performances is illegal) or tolerate rudeness by members of the audience who feel they have the right to sit in a dark theater, texting or checking their e-mail while the light from their screens distract both performers and the audience alike? Or, should I stand up for my rights as a performer as well as the audiences I perform for?" [N.Y. Times]
• Ellen DeGeneres says she and wife Portia de Rossi aren't going to have kids. "We have animals, and we love them. They don't talk back, and they don't explore their vocal chords out in public," said Ellen. "[Portia's] brother and his wife just had a baby girl who's a month old now, and it's fun to be a part of that. But no, I think, you know, we definitely thought about it. And it's something I think most people, as a relationship goes on, explore. But it's just a huge responsibility, and I don't know that that's something we want to take on. We're very happily married without children." [Ok]
• Melissa Auf der Maur says she only recorded background vocals for Courtney Love's solo album Nobody's Daughter because of producer Michael Beinhorn, who worked on the last Hole album, not because the band is reuniting. "Michael Beinhorn and I had an incredible working relationship on Celebrity Skin," Auf der Maur said. "And he called me and asked me if I would sing on [Courtney's] new solo record – which is what I understood it was. And I said 'Yes' because I enjoy working with him and ... well, she and I have a history of making music together. And I'm happy to visit her again in the future." [The Guardian]
• Melissa Leo plays Christian Bale's mom in the upcoming film The Fighter. When asked about her onscreen son's reputation for getting too into his roles, she said, "He does, but that's great. I met him on the airplane to Massachusetts a month and a half ago, before he had met his character Dicky. I watched him meet Dicky and right away saw how [Christian] absorbed him. Then, I saw him again a couple of weeks later when we got together to do work, and the transformation-wow. It has been amazing. It just delights me to see. Acting is so precious to me, and to see someone like Christian who really works at it and enjoys it...He's just amazing." [E!]
• Samuel L. Jackson says the only reason he wasn't in Mamma Mia! is that he wasn't aware his friend Phylida Lloyd was even working on it. He says, "I missed that because a friend of mine actually directed Mamma Mia! And I didn't know it until I saw her last year at the British Film Awards and they won all of these awards. I would have called to be in Mamma Mia! I'm a huge Abba fan." [The Daily Express]

Of all the dirt that's surfaced on the women of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, NeNe's has been most public. It's been suggested that NeNe isn't as well-off as she portrayed herself to be: she didn't own her home, and instead rented. She and her husband Gregg Leakes were evicted from that rental in September, and owe $6,240 in back rent. Also, she might not be legally married to Gregg, after she cryptically told one newspaper, "You don't know my relationship with Greg so be careful what you report!"

Also, Gregg owes over $100,000 in back taxes. He was described on the show as being a "real estate investor," but it turns out that he ran a rental management company, Advantage Move LLC, that rented homes in the Atlanta area for other people. Recently, Fox News ran an investigative report in which they interviewed a property owner who employed Gregg and sued him for breech of contract after he rented her home to personal friends of his who had bad credit and didn't pay their rent. They also caused significant damage to her home and even left "human waste" on the floor. No one knows where NeNe and Gregg are living right now.

Some info was dug up from Sheree Whitfield's past. In 1989, when she was 19, she was arrested twice for theft in her native Ohio. More shocking, though, is that Sheree gave birth to a daughter, Tierra, when she was 15. While Sheree acknowledges her two younger children she had with ex-husband Bob Whitfield as her own on the show, she publicly refers to 23-year-old Tierra as a close friend. Sheree was interviewed for Essence a few months ago, and while though the article pointed out that Sheree has three children — named Tierra, Kairo and Kaleigh — the captions under the photos of the family list only the two younger ones as her kids, and Tierra as a friend.





Sheree's financial standing has also been called into question. She didn't get that "seven figures" lump sum divorce settlement she was looking for, and has appealed the ruling. She's also put her home — which reportedly is not in her name — on the market for $2.8 million and removed her children from private school and enrolled them in public school his year.

Perhaps most embarrassingly: Sheree bounced a check for $346.61.

Lisa Wu-Hartwell seemed to be the most sensible and collected of the Housewives. However, Lisa, who has several aliases — Sharon Millette Wu, Sharon Lisa Sweat, and Lisa Wu-Sweat — filed for bankruptcy in 2007 after she was sued by her ex-husband, R&B singer Keith Sweat, for repayment on a $150,000 loan he gave her to make a movie called Blackball. Keith now has custody of their two children and wouldn't allow them to appear on the show.

Since the show stopped airing, Lisa has reportedly gotten into a feud over some smack Kim was talking about her while she and Sheree were extras on the set of The Joneses (a social commentary on American consumerism starring Demi Moore and David Duchovny).





Word of the trash-talk got back to Lisa, who called Kim up and "made threats." Kim then hired a slimeball lawyer and got TMZ on the horn to milk some publicity out of it. You can watch their mini-press conference here, and hear the "threatening" voicemail Lisa left for Kim.

As for Kim, like the other housewives mentioned, she may be in a bit of a financial pickle as well. Her townhouse is reportedly up for sale, although, according to property records, Zolciak paid $486,000 for her home in January 2006, and it was assessed at only $371,100 the following year. And in this market, you know that number has plummeted.

The identity of her boyfriend "Big Papa" is almost accepted as fact now, after she confirmed on the reunion special that some blogs had correctly guessed who he is. However the two have broken up and she has reportedly begun dating a very wealthy cosmetic surgeon named Dr. Stefan Lemperle, who helped invent some wrinkle filler that was never given FDA approval, but that he injected into his patients' faces anyway, causing adverse reactions, a lawsuit, legal troubles, and the loss of his job as CEO of Artes Medical.

As for her working relationship with superstar producer Dallas Austin, he posted this on his MySpace:

Remember how Kim said she was 29 and no one believed her? Well it's absolutely true! (She's since turned 30.) However, the truth was revealed in a sorta embarrassing way when this info was dug up by the NY Post:

As a teenager in Windsor Locks, Conn., she had a high-profile affair with a police sergeant, John MacDougald. According to the Hartford Courant, Zolciak was "16 or 17" when the romance began and allegedly a witness in a criminal investigation at the time. McDougald, a 25-year veteran of the police department, copped to the affair-but insisted that the relationship started after the case was closed. The scandal helped touch off an internal investigation in the Windsor Locks police department-where allegations of secret tapings, sexual-assault charges and cover-ups flew.

The upshot of unleashing these skeletons in her closet? The Hartford Courant's reporting on the scandal, which unfolded in the summer of 1997, identified Zolciak's age as 19.

Then there's the matter of Housewife DeShawn Snow. Apparently, she's the only one on the show who really has money, which means she's legit — and kinda boring.

• Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson: On the rocks??? Apparently LL loves to party and Sam is shuns the spotlight; plus Sam's a thoughtful person and isn't sure how she comes across in this "celebrity romance." Gah. [Daily Mail]
• Wait a minute! Sam proposed?! While she and Lindsay were on vacay in Mexico! With a Cartier diamond ring! [ONTD]
• Holy crap: John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston were seen kissing on Monday in California. They flew in to L.A. together on a private plane; hugged and kissed and then went their separate ways. Then again, the source is The National Enquirer. Hmm. [Perez Hilton]
• Jen and Vince together again in a sequel to The Break-Up? This just seems false. [Daily Express]
• Actor Guillaume Depardieu, son of French movie star Gerard Depardieu, died yesterday of complications from pneumonia. He was 37. [USA Today]
• Maureen McCormick, aka Marcia Brady, is spilling all in her new memoir: depression, drug addiction, abortions, trading sex for drugs and engaging in full-on binges at the Playboy Mansion. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! [E!]

• Prince performed in NYC over the weekend but told the audience to turn off their cellphones — which were interfering with the sound system — or "there may not be a show." Anderson Cooper was there. [Page Six]
• Russell Crowe has been cutting down on his drinking. "But tequila and I are still good friends, and vodka and I still get on. It’s just the dark drinks that don’t seem to bring out the best of my personality." [Daily Express]
• Is Kate Moss giving up drinking too? For Jamie Hince? [Mirror]
• If you haven't had enough Brad/Angelina/W magazine stuff, and you're curious how the photo shoot concept came about, click here. Hint: It has to do with Elizabeth Taylor, Bruce Weber, eBay and film that hasn't been manufactured for four years. [W]
• Simon Cowell's American Idol salary: $36 million a year. Paula Abdul's American Idol salary: $5 to $8 million a year. [MSNBC]
• Travis Barker, blogging from his hospital bed: "Despite any rumors you might have heard via my EX-wife Shanna Moakler, who I have not seen since the week I checked in, I've been treated amazingly well, both here in LA and in Georgia. The hospitals I've been treated at are THE BEST." [E!]
• A report, not a review, of Katie Holmes on Broadway: "She isn’t bad. She’s up against some real pro’s, and she holds her own. Like most movie and TV actors, her voice and projection need work. But she knows her lines, appears to understand the character, and does not embarrass herself at all." [Fox 411]
• Diddy sold his Rolls-Royce Phantom last week, but only because he's getting a new Rolls convertible. [Page Six]
• The person who wrote the lyrics and melody for Beyoncé's new song, "If I Were A Boy," is named BC Jean. But Beyoncé's father tried to get Beyonce’s name on the writing credits. [Fox 411]
• Nicole Richie filmed a guest spot on NBC's Chuck and played a bully with a "great fight scene." [People]
• Sharon Osbourne has a problem with Nicole Kidman — "she's got a forehead like a fucking flatscreen TV" — and other plastic surgery fans who pretend nothing has happened: "Oh my God! Those liars! I hate them! Those bitches! They are like, 'I didn't do anything.' Meanwhile, their eyebrows are here. Lying bitch!" [The Sun]
• Johnny Depp's ladyfriend, Vanessa Paradis, says, they are not getting married. "Each summer people say we're supposed to be getting married, but we don't talk about it that much. He's got me, and he knows he's got me." She also says she gets why women want to mob him: "I understand. I want to mob him all the time, I do. He's a very charming person." [People]
• David and Victoria Beckham's housekeepers deny stealing personal items from the house to sell on eBay. Guess who saw the stuff online and reported it to the cops? Vicky's parents. [Daily Mail]
• OMG. Kate Middleton caught talking on the phone while driving. The horror! [Telegraph]
• Rapper T.I. has a number one album and has to go to jail for weapons possession. He says he's "a little anxious" about prison. As for buying guns, he explains, "You know how many attempts have been made against my life? There are people out there that would rather kill you than to tell you, 'Good luck' or 'I am happy for you.' So, until you understand that, you wouldn't understand my train of thought. Not to say it was right. It's just my best explanation." [UPI]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt is talking about her body again! "I'm getting ready to turn 30 and get married and all those things," she says. "This year was my year to try to glow from within and feel better." So: "I work out about four or five days a week." She's perfecting her pushup and she thinks the plank pose is "very cool." [People]
• Mark Wahlberg. Gonna marry the lady who gave birth to his three kids. Say hi to your mother for me. [E!]
• Boy George called Little Britain star Matt Lucas a "prissy, niggly diva" back in 2002. He later attempted to apologize but Lucas didn't respond. [Daily Express]
• Richard Gere says: "I stopped reading the press a long time ago. Lots of crazy things came up about me at first, especially from the tabloids. There is an infamous 'Gere stuck a hamster up his bum' urban myth." But! As Michael Musto points out, it was a gerbil rumor. Hmm. [Village Voice]
• Kenny Chesney on his new album: "It's no secret—there are about four or five songs that are about Renée [Zellweger]." [E!]
• Blake Incarcerated's mom says: "I don't think rehab is the answer." She thinks Blake needs to come home to her. Plus she says: "I don't speak to Amy. I feel all the media attention on Amy has probably had an impact on my son's release." Ya think? [People]
• Janet Jackson has canceled more concerts. She still has not made a statement about what kind of illness she has. [AP]
• Uh, was Jermaine Dupri told by Janet Jackson's people, "You're not her boyfriend anymore." ??? [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Clark Gable's granddaughter Kayley is a fucking mess. [TMZ]
• Shannen Doherty has agreed to do two additional episodes on 90210. But seriously, no one is watching anymore, right? [LA Times]
• Lethal Weapon 5: Not happening. "Mel turned it down," director Richard Donner says. [LA Times]
• Kevin Spacey: Visiting professor at Oxford University. Pish posh, pip pip, cheerio! [The Star]
• Wanna see Roseanne riff on John McCain and "a nation run by old men on Viagra" ? Click the link! [Guardian]
• Lisa Marie Presley's twin girls are named Finley and Harper. [People]
• Lance Bass's ex, Reichen Lehmkuhl, has been posting personal trainer ads on Craigslist. [Perez Hilton]
• George Michael is coming out of "retirement" to perform at an exclusive show in Abu Dhabi next month. [Mirror]
• "He's one of the funniest human beings alive." — Dick Van Dyke on Ricky Gervais. [The Star]
• "[Heath Ledger] never involved himself in Hollywood and he didn't want to be a celebrity. He wanted to be an actor. I love acting. I just don't like the current state of the movie business and what is released. The rest of the world makes movies that mean something some of the time. In America, we don't." — Billy Bob Thornton, who worked with Ledger in Monster's Ball. [Daily Express]
• "There's nothing wrong with Disney, but my benchmarks are more West Side Story meets Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm trying to write a musical that will be relevant to a 16-year-old today, a rite of passage for a young girl into womanhood." — Tori Amos, who is working on a feminist fairytale, to be completed by 2010. [Independent]
• "Breast cancer helped me put myself first in life. Once I stepped out of radiation, I had to remember that the only person who could take care of me was me. I'd better do that before I take care of everybody else, instead of everybody else first." — Sheryl Crow. [People]
• "One of the best things about America is that we are a melting pot, a mix of many, many different races and nations. Yes, they have their own nationalities and are very proud of them, but that certainly doesn't diminish the fact that they're American. To me, that is what being American is." — Angelina Jolie on her kids. [Perez Hilton]
• "[Barack Obama] is still so new. He seems like a strong leader. We'll see." — Lauren Bush. [Page Six]