• Madonna is in Malawi, asking the court for approval to adopt a second child. [Times of London]
• Madonna's adoption ruling has been delayed until Friday; the court has not revealed why.

The child in question is four years old and named Mercy; her unmarried mother died soon after she was born. Madonna brought both Lourdes and David to Malawi with her and David visited with his biological father. "I was very happy to see him," the father told The Associated Press, adding that David did not recognize him. "He asked me who I was." [Yahoo via AP, Guardian]

• Madonna has purchased land in Malawi so she can build a school for girls. Some residents are afraid they will lose their homes and fields. [People]
• Save The Children is not happy about Madonna trying to adopt and a spokesperson says: "What Madonna is doing verges on a puppy parade. People like her are looking for the most beautiful child. They wouldn't choose a child with a disability or special needs. It doesn't help to take one child out of an orphanage to a huge palace and buy them a pony." [Mirror]
• Is a Russian model/pop star named Irson Kudikova about to get engaged to Mickey Rourke? [Page Six]
• Britney Spears had passed President Obama in Twitter Followers, taking the #2 spot (CNN Breaking News is number 1). She tweeted: "#2 People!!! You guys continue to make me SOOO happy! I truly have the best fans on the planet! CAN'T WAIT for TEXAS tomorrow… - Bri." Then Ashton Kutcher stole the #2 spot. [PopDirt]
• This report claims that Britney's Gulfstream jet is a mess: "The plane is stocked with Twinkies, beef jerky and M&Ms," says a source. "When she's done, she just throws the wrappers on the floor." Plus, there are two puppies adding to the chaos, who "scoot" around like crazy. [Star]
• Breaking: Victoria Beckham seen in flip-flops! [JustJared]
• Michael Jackson's son, Prince Michael I, might join MJ on stage at the first of his London shows. That would certainly be… interesting. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Apparently Zac Efron's ears are dirty, because he was recently pelted with Q-Tips by a paparazzo. There's video, but chances are it will just make you sad. [ONTD]
• More Zac Efron ear wax news. What a world we live in. [TMZ]
• Rihanna went dancing and a spywitness says "It was like the queen of England was out clubbing. You couldn't even get anywhere near her, between the bodyguards and the people wanting to touch her. And it was so morbid, too — it's all because she was beaten." [E!]
• By the by, there is nothing going on between Rihanna and Frankie Delgado. But you knew that. [TMZ]
• Miley Cyrus cried upon winning Favorite Female Singer at the Kids' Choice Awards. "I really thought I was going to lose, so thank you, guys." [E!]
• Some are saying the crying was staged because Miley already knew she would be winning the award. She Tweets: "For all the haters saying I knew about my KCA before hand have nooo idea what they are talking about! I was so suprised! :) thank u again xo" [PopDirt]
• Neither Chris Brown nor Rihanna attended the Kids' Choice Awards. Rapper Soulja Boy was sad! "I was looking forward to seeing them here," he said. [Yahoo News via AP]
• A woman harassed Ricky Martin at a club in South Beach, where he and "several male friends" were trying to have a good time. [Gatecrasher]
• John Mayer works the short-shorts on his cruise, the "Mayercraft Carrier." [The Superficial]
• Mariah Carey was seen drinking glasses of red wine with a straw. Classy! [Gatecrasher]
• Lipstick Jungle is canceled. For real this time. [EW]
• Paris Hilton attended Perez Hilton's birthday Party in a convergence of things that seem so three years ago. [PopDirt]
• Fox is developing a dating show with "average-looking" people. By that, they mean overweight. It's called More To Love and the bachelor is a "Kevin James type." [Yahoo via Reuters]
• Fox News' Bill O'Reilly boycotts Sean Penn films. Think Sean Penn cares? [Yahoo via Reuters]
• Joely Richardson has returned to work, ten days after her sister Natasha died. [The Sun]
• Ugly Betty star Ana Ortiz is pregnant and expecting a baby girl at the end of July. She says: "I've had a great experience so far. Talk to me in another month." [People]
• Amy Winehouse is a thumbsucker. [People]
• Yes, the ShamWow guy punched a prostitute. Police say "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons." [The Smoking Gun, Hollywood Rag]
• Monsters vs. Aliens scared up $58.2 million at the box office; big numbers. [USA Today]
• But one of the reasons Monsters vs. Aliens made so much? 3-D tickets cost more. [NY Times]
• Rhys Ifans has been cast in the next Harry Potter flick; he'll play Xenophilius Lovegood. [Daily Express]
• RIP composer Maurice Jarre, who wrote the music for Doctor Zhivago and Lawrence Of Arabia. [Independent]
• Blind item! "Which top actor got caught with his pants down in a club's closet with two very unattractive women, which his friends all proceeded to laugh at?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I was assuming that [my character's days were numbered] at one point and I got a lot of shrugged shoulders and shakes of the head, so I don't know if that's a yes or a no. No one will tell me and I don't know how this is going to go. I don't know if I live or die. I don't know how Izzie fares." — Katherine Heigl. [E!]
• "In the film we made penises, and I'm walking around them — we have made them more or less the same dimensions, but there are bug penises, giraffe penises, goat penises. They are like a forest of penises. … I was already playing a starfish, or a bug. I thought that stretch was much bigger, to be a sea creature than to play a male! But the real reason is sometimes [males] move more. For example, the female spider sits on the web, and she is three to five times bigger than the male, so he has to approach her. I was reluctant to do mammals, because they look so similar to us. But what's interesting about the whale is the female puts her vagina on the surface of the water, out of the reach of the male. Then she can see the males fight and she can select which one she likes, and then she turns over and lets him get to her. I thought, I can do that!" — Isabella Rossellini, on playing the parts of animals, in her web series Green Porno. [NY Post]
• "I'm looking forward to knowing what's going on - I still have no clue. The only thing I ever got right was the island moving, which was pretty good. But that's it. I don't know what the story is or where we will end up." — Josh Holloway, aka Sawyer, of Lost. He also says when the show ends he will get a haircut: "One of our camera operators had a beautiful Mohawk. I've always wanted one." [The Sun]
• "Rule one – you don't play on the snooker table unless you've been asked. And, secondly, you never, ever, take the shepherd's pie unless Keith Richards' broken the crust first." — Mick Jagger, on touring with the Rolling Stones. [The Sun]
• "My first bra was not very exciting. I was a late bloomer-the last of my girlfriends to get one. It was this horrible training bra-type thing, but it prompted me to save my money and buy my own darn bra. My mom was like, ‘You can't have the black lace one.' And I was like, ‘Why not?' I've never equated beautiful lingerie with seduction or sex. It's not about trying to get a man. Not at all. It's about surrounding myself with beauty in my everyday life-whether it's a bra or a notebook. I want everything around me to be attractive because I look at it every day." — Dita Von Teese. [JustJared]
• "The biggest misconception about me is that I am not a real person. The assumption is that my eccentricity is not who I really am, but it is. I have lost my mind." — Lady GaGa. [NY Mag]

• Samantha Ronson is worried about text messages that her girlfriend, Lindsay Lohan, has been receiving from two male DJs she met a few weeks ago: "The texts can be quite flirtatious," says a source. [ShowbizSpy]

• "Lindsay swears they're innocent," a source says about the texts, "but Sam worries she wants to start dating guys again. Sam is also anxious over the actress's commitment to her. This makes Lindsay angry - she feels she's a loyal girlfriend." [ShowbizSpy]
• Tina Fey has some solid advice for Amy Poehler for her upcoming tv show: "Trust no one. Yell at everyone. Insist on being driven to work in a party trolley."[NYTimes]
• Sparkly Vampire Robert Pattinson is shooting down rumors that he's been stinking up the set of New Moon: "I haven't even been on the set yet. I also do shower," Pattinson says, "I just want to know whoever's saying negative stuff, and I just want to remember their names. I write it all down in my black book."[ShowbizSpy]
• Samantha Ronson is worried that Lindsay Lohan might leave her for a man, as Lindsay has been receiving text messages from two male DJs she met a few weeks ago: "The texts can be quite flirtatious. Lindsay swears they're innocent but Sam worries she wants to start dating guys again," says a source, "Sam is also anxious over the actress's commitment to her. This makes Lindsay angry - she feels she's a loyal girlfriend." [ShowbizSpy]
• Fergie is loving married life: "Now that the wedding is over, we are so chill and comfortable together – the feeling I have about Josh is like coming home," she says, "There is that small and intimate feeling I have all of the time that tells me things are so right! It was wonderful to share our special day with families and friends. But now we can be casual and happy and move ahead." [People]
• Leonardo DiCaprio was awarded the first Nickelodeon Big Green Help award for his contributions to environmental awareness. "We need all of you, the next generation, to take action," DiCaprio told the crowd, "In fact, I bet someone watching this very show tonight will be a part of the solution to global warming." [USWeekly]
• Rihanna reportedly wants to accept Oprah's offer to appear on her show and discuss her relationship with Chris Brown—but only if Brown comes as well. "Rihanna was resistant, so Oprah suggested Rihanna tell Chris that despite their recent commitment ceremony, she's been having second thoughts about them being back together. And agreeing to go on Oprah's show and tell the world how sorry he is will help make up her mind," says a source, "Chris said no at first, but bought himself some time by saying he needed to think about it with his mother Joyce. But he's desperate to win over the American public and he's realized this could be the perfect way." [ShowbizSpy]
• Richard Simmons spotted a group of "larger women" whispering about him at the Miami International Airport, and, in true Simmons fashion, "broke into song and dance, singing Beyoncé's song 'Single Ladies.'" The women began "jumping excitedly and cheering him on." [PageSix]
• Lipstick Jungle: dunzo. [EW]
• Madonna's ex-nanny, Angela Jacobsen, vented her frustrations about working for the Material Girl on her Facebook page: "‘Not putting up [with] this s*** any more. Never have, never will. Standing up for my rights regardless of consequence. Sick of always being the one who compromises." [DailyMail]
• Meanwhile, Save the Children is urging Madonna NOT to adopt Mercy James, an orphan from Malawi. "The best place for a child is in his or her family in their home community," says spokesman Dominic Nutt, "Most children in orphanages have one parent still living, or have an extended family that can care for them in the absence of their parents." [Popdirt]
• Blind Item:" A couple of years ago, she was one of the most popular acts in the business. So this singer expected that her career would be soaring higher than ever this year. Turns out to be exactly the opposite. She is completely stressed, she is spending more than she is making, her weight is all over the place, her career is not being managed well, and she is now practically giving away tickets to her performances. Enough people have told her to boot her current management that she is actually starting to listen. However, she is terrified of the implications it may have on her family life. If she does find the strength, she could be a star again. If she doesn't, expect the downslide to continue." [BlindGossip]
• "When Simon made his best man speech at my wedding, he said I was like no one he'd ever met before, and I don't think I'd ever met anyone like him. I had a certain streetness to me and he was a Bristol whoopsie! But he made that noise out of Star Wars - the little robot that Chewy scares off, that makes the be-bipdibip noise. And I thought, 'I know what that noise is!' And since I'd watched Star Wars no one had ever made that noise to me. I'd been an only child in a cupboard making it to myself. We just connected."-Nick Frost on Simon Pegg [Guardian]

• Claire Danes and her boyfriend, actor Hugh Dancy, are engaged to be married. Both Jordan Catalano and Brian Krakow are extremely bummed right now. No word yet on how Tino feels about all this, though.[People]

• Drew Barrymore and ex-boyfriend Justin Long may not be on the best terms: "Drew came up to Justin and started whining that he kept ignoring her," says a source, "He was apologizing and saying that he didn't see her but seemed really annoyed and . . . not that into her."[PageSix]
• Are Natalie Portman and Ryan Gosling dating? [LaineyGossip]
• Rhianna is helping a 5-year old fan find a bone marrow donor: "When I saw the video of Jasmina it broke my heart. It is so unfair that for a black patient it's so much harder to find a bone marrow match,"Rhianna says, "Jasmina has acute leukemia and she needs a bone marrow transplant to live." [People]
• Isla Fisher confesses that she's actually not much of a Shopaholic: "I've never been a shopaholic myself," Fisher says, "And I hope people aren't offended by this display of excess. Because it's based on books that came out long before the economic crisis, with so many young couples in difficulty. My heart goes out to them." [ShowbizSpy]
• Is Lipstick Jungle leaving NBC? Star Lindsay Price says she's heard rumors of a move: "Bravo or Lifetime...That's what they're saying...Or they're talking about maybe doing what they did with Friday Night Lights-airing on DirecTV and then later on NBC."[E!]
• Liv Tyler says that she and her father, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler, aren't as close as they once were: "In the past few years we haven't been very close. He has been going through a lot of things on his own and he has not been the… he hasn't been around that much for us," Tyler says, "So that's been hard. But I probably shouldn't be talking about this."[DailyMail]
• Kids' hoodies from Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Lovers line have been recalled, as the drawstring through the hood could cause a strangulation hazard. [NYTimes]
• "I know this will be my most favourite performance ever and I'm going to do everything I possibly can to make it the best one, but I think M.I.A. might one-up me by having her baby onstage. It's going to be so awesome."- Katy Perry [DailyExpress]
• If you're dating Jennifer Aniston, prepare to be taped: the actress saves messages from past relationships. "I still have the cassette tapes of messages from my first boyfriend, my second boyfriend, my husband. It's like saving love letters."[TheSun]
• Is Michael Lohan too broke to blog? After announcing he was no longer blogging, but not explaining why, a "Failure of Payment" notice was posted by the site's webmaster. Whoops! [JustJared]
• Sad news: Emmy-winning actor James Whitmore, who played Brooks in The Shawshank Redemption has died of lung cancer at the age of 87. [E!]
• Pete Doherty is pretty convinced that his house is haunted: "My house is definitely haunted," Doherty says, "All of a sudden you hear a mad party going on in the west wing. It used to be the servants' quarters, which is creepy. When I hear it I just hide. It's uncomfortable but I think if I don't bother them, they won't bother me. Half the time I'm in my own world anyway."[DailyMail]
• Lisa Kudrow says she's glad she got to play Phoebe Buffay: "I think it's great because she was such a happy person," Kudrow says, "I am so pleased that I was part of the show. I always thought, once the series was over, it would fade from memory. I keep expecting that to happen but it doesn't - there are all these kids around the world who are discovering the show, and realising how funny it is. I don't think there are that many good sitcoms around any more."[DailyMail]
• Amy Winehouse is steering clear of crack...by smoking pot ten times a day. "Amy hasn't touched crack or cocaine for months. She has been really good," says a friend. "Drugs are easy to get in St Lucia but she has just stuck to smoking dope. The amazing thing is she smokes all morning then sees her personal trainer in the afternoon and is put through a gruelling workout."[TheSun]
• Jenny Craig has shot down rumors that Jessica Simpson would be their next spokesperson by praising the star's healthy physique: "Ms. Simpson has publicly stated that she is healthy, feels great and is very happy with her body. We would agree. Ms. Simpson looks fantastic and we see no reason for her to participate in a weight management program." [E!]
• Sadly, Jessica had a bad night while performing in front of 9,000 fans in Michigan, fighting tears and forgetting some of her lines: "Dear God, help me get through this tonight," Jessica told the crowd. "You probably just heard me say that; I have a weak voice and I'm feeling vulnerable tonight." According to her rep: "Jessica had an off night," her rep tells Usmagazine.com. "She's a perfectionist and wanted to start some songs over. She always wants to give the best performance for her fans."[USMagazine]
• "There's a thin line between narcissism, even if it's a healthy narcissism, and entertainment. But I chose to go on stage to be validated because I felt so bashed. If I'm not going to talk about myself in front of strangers and see if they laugh and understand, then what's the point of it? I don't want to tell people, "Did you ever notice this about Kmart?" I don't want to tell anyone how they think or what they see. That's what happened to me. I take a great pride in three things as a comedian: the premises are real, I'm prolific, and I feel strongly that who I am on stage is the same as who I am off."- Richard Lewis[HuffingtonPost]
• Subway has forgiven Michael Phelps for smoking up, and has welcomed him back as a sponsor: "Like most Americans, and like Michael Phelps himself, we were disappointed in his behavior," Subway rep Megan Driscoll says, "Also like most Americans, we accept his apology. Moving forward, he remains in our plans." [USMagazine]
• Robert Pattinson is totally addicted to coke, you guys. Um, Diet Coke, that is: "I was just taking out my trash and I had, like, 300 cans of Diet Coke," Pattinson says. "It was just like, 'How did that happen?' I don't even remember buying them. I also like Cinnamon Toast Crunch. My addictions are pretty much the only things I consume." Translation to crazy-ass fans: "I don't drink blood, I'm not going to bite you, and I'm not really Edward Cullen."[ShowbizSpy]
• Emily Blunt says she had to sneak in doughnuts to the set of The Devil Wears Prada: "I was being watched like a hawk, but by the end I'd be sneaking in doughnuts just to annoy the producers." Aww, that's kind of like how I'm always making "glasses" out of two chocolate donuts, just to annoy my friends. Celebrities! They're just like us! [ShowbizSpy]

• Alan Cumming thinks that our new President, Barack Obama, has a large, ahem, unit:

"I think great leaders, charismatic leaders and men who are so confident and who have achieved so much, usually have big penises,” Cumming tells New York. "I think there’s a correlation between the level of confidence, the level of the way a man can hold a room and the way he conducts himself in life, with his penis size — with his comfort with his penis size. So much of male psyche is taken up with how big your cock is; it’s a huge deal in our lives, and so when you’re confident about your penis size, it shows. Well, just look at [Obama]. Just the way he’s so kind of elegant and very confident in his body and himself. Also, someone told me that they worked out with him in a gym in Chicago, and it was big." [NY Mag]

• Naomi Watts talks about her ex-boyfriend Heath Ledger in Parade magazine: "When I got to the set and did that first scene with him, I was like, ‘Wow! This guy is alive.’ It was just something deep in his eyes. You could look into them, and they would tell a thousand stories in one glance. There was a wonderful mixture of power and fragility at work in everything he did, which just pulls you in. His strength didn’t scare you. It intrigued you. And his fragility touched you." [MSNBC]
• Jessica Simpson performed yesterday in Charlottesville, Virginia, and referred to the kerfluffle over her body: "Thank you for your support," she told the crowd. "Stay positive, and pray out loud! Please remember, no matter what you go through in life, somebody else might have it harder. So just appreciate. I feel like in our world today we focus on so many things that are completely pointless." Word. [People]
• Do what you must to prepare yourself: Madonna and her kids are moving to the U.S. [The Sun]
• And! Her Madgesty will add another leg to her Sticky & Sweet tour, heading to the U.K. and Europe this summer. [Reuters]
• Renee Zellweger was not a VIP at Barack Obama's inauguration — by choice. "I wanted to be part of it and not in a celebrity way, where you're ushered into your safe place," she says. She listened to the ceremony from a barricade on First Street, next to a blind lady. [USA Today]
• £15,000 worth of stuff was stolen from Amy Winehouse's home — flat screen TV, guitars, recording equipment. Amy is still in the Caribbean, but is said to be "devastated." A source says: "Some of the guitars are irreplaceable due to their sentimental value." Hopefully they stole her crack pipe. [The Sun]
• So you know how a stage manager stole from the fashion closet of Lipstick Jungle? He also robbed Brooke Shields! "[He's] the same guy who stole my wallet out of my dressing room last season, right out of my purse!” Shields says. "He’s not very bright, because the purse was worth more than the wallet." [Gatecrasher]
• Traders on the Hollywood Stock Exchange are betting on Sex And The City 2. [WSJ]
• Anna Faris is engaged to actor Chris Pratt, who was on Everwood and The OC and currently plays Anne Hathaway's fiance in Bride Wars. Good luck, kids! [Us]
• Director Danny Boyle and producer Christian Colson have issued a statement denying that Slumdog Millionaire exploited two child actors: "Boyle and Colson said the kids were enrolled in school for the first time after filming, and a fund had been set up to cover their education, as well as their basic living costs, health care and any emergencies. If the children stay in school until they are 18, they will receive another lump sum." [Variety]
• In this interview, a man whose 7-year-old daughter appears in Slumdog says the filmmakers "are taking complete care of my child." "Whatever a parent could have done, they have done much more than that." [AP]
• Ugh, more Slumdog problems: In Mumbai, the flick is not exactly drawing people to the cineplexes, because people don't understand the title and rampant piracy means some have already seen it on DVD. [Reuters]
• Faith Hill is glad that Jennifer Hudson will sing at the Super Bowl: "I believe to come and perform the national anthem, which is this country's favourite song, at a time that our country is stepping up and moving forward for future generations - I think it's just the perfect choice." [The Star]
• Why did Bruce Springsteen — after being asked several times — finally agree to play the Super Bowl half-time show? "It was sort of, well, if we don’t do it now, what are we waiting for? I want to do it while I’m alive." [NY Times]
• Very unlikely duo Bob Dylan and will.i.am will both appear in a Pepsi commercial during the Super Bowl. How does it feel? To be on your own, like a black-eyed pea? [Reuters]
• Penelope Cruz says that Woody Allen is not sleazy, and only makes pervy comments to make people laugh: "On set he would say something completely wild and I would say, 'I can't believe those words came out of your mouth!'" Allen, she says, is "very peculiar – but I love him." [Guardian]
• Tom Cruise's flick, Valkyrie, was beaten at the box office in Germany by Twilight; and in England, Slumdog Millionaire crushed the Nazi flick. Valkyrie cost between $90 and $100 million to make and $50 to $60 mil to promote, but has grossed only about $83 million in the U.S. Not bad, but not the comeback Cruise was hoping for at his new studio. [Fox 411]
• James Brown's family will go to court today, hoping for a settlement regarding the late singer's estate, after two years of drama. [USA Today]
• Khloe Kardashian and Rashad McCants of the Minnesota Timberwolves have broken up. Khloe writes on her blog: "Relationships are hard enough as is when you live in the same city, and he's in a different city everyday for games." [Khloe Kardashian]
• Lil Wayne had to remove a song, Playing With Fire, from his hit album, That Carter III, due to a copyright suit: The track had melody and lyrics from the Rolling Stones' tune, "Play With Fire." If you go to iTunes, the song will have vanished. [WSJ]
• ABC has picked up a comedy, Let It Go, starring Lauren Graham, in which she plays a talkshow host who is dumped by her boyfriend and can't follow her own advice of "letting go." [Variety]
• Mike McCready from Pearl Jam, who suffers from Crohn's disease, is lobbying Washington state lawmakers to give people with gastrointestinal disorders more bathroom access. [AP]
• If you have $5.2 million, you can buy the former home of John Edwards and his glossy hair. [WSJ]
• More proof that the '90s are back: Jane's Addiction is planning a spring tour. [Gatecrasher]
• And more proof the '90s are back: House Of Style will return to MTV! Possibly with Bar Refaeli or Chanel Iman as host. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which baseball heartthrob may be playing for the other team? He secretly slides into bed with Florida fellas." [Gatecrasher]
• Is Ellen Barkin's new TV show — in which she plays a woman "famous for her high-profile marriage, who divorces and re-enters the single market" kinda like her actual life? [Page Six]
• Did Eliza Dushku brag about killing deer, elk and other animals? Apparently she said it was okay for her to hunt because she eats what she kills. Guess who's pissed? PETA. [Page Six]
• Jessica Alba has a bow tattooed above her crack. [The Life Files]
• "With the internet you can fight back. If someone has written something unjust, wrong or has offended me, or offended a friend, then that’s it. The other day Perez Hilton wrote that I was a lazy arse and I should give up on my record. Today, my single is No1 in the midweeks and I am on tour, working really, really hard. And his job is sitting at a computer all day. How can he call me lazy?!" — Lily Allen. [The Sun]
• "Being a nun now makes total sense. I wouldn't do it for Jesus - I would do it to see tabloid gossip people have zero to write about. 'She prays all fucking day - what are we going to write about now?' " — Lily Allen to Spin. [Page Six]
• "I used to pester my mother to have another baby when my father was still alive. She ended up having an eight hour operation to unblock her tubes and things like that. The operation was a success but my father died while she was having it, so it was really ironic, terrible timing." — Kate Beckinsale. [Daily Express]
• "We're planning a home birth, but it might be a Grammy birth! Eating a hot curry could make me go into labor, so imagine what getting on stage with Jay-Z, Lil Wayne and T.I. would do. Everyone's been very understanding." — M.I.A., who has been nominated for a Grammy and an Oscar, but is due the night before the Grammys. [WSJ]
• "If I'm not coming up with something I get very upset and start questioning it all. 'I can't get it out. I'm not worthy of the money I'm getting paid. There are people who are so much better.' I really beat myself up." — Lily Allen, on her writer's block. [WSJ]
• "I’m upset because I feel disrespected by the press and by Mr. Rourke. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean that you can take advantage of me. It’s unfair that the performances (in The Wrestler) might suffer because of all of these distractions. I'm not attracted to him, he's too old for me. Nothing ever happened and nothing ever will." — Evan Rachel Wood, on the rumors she was making out with Mickey Rourke after the SAG awards. [MSNBC]
• "I have a crush on Jimmy Carter. I admit it. He has an extraordinary mind. He's an exceptional human being. And he writes poetry, for crying out loud. He's all good things." — Renee Zellweger. [USA Today]
• "I’VE MADE SOME GOOD CHOICES AND SOME MISTAKES… I’VE BEEN LOVED AND HATED…. I’VE BEEN HAILED AND RIDICULED… I’VE BEEN INVITED TO SHOWS AND AS USUAL ASKED NOT TO COME… I’VE BEEN ATTACKED FOR BEING ME… FOR BEING BRIGHT RED IN A GREY WORLD…. I AM NUCLEAR ENERGY." — Kanye West, in an email to Rolling Stone. [Rolling Stone]

• Diane von Furstenberg attended the inauguration with her oldest African-American friend, André Leon Talley. She hobnobbed with Oprah and David Axelrod, then dressed up in, um, a ski suit to watch the swearing-in. [Financial Times]

• Poor Peter Som sounds like he's having a hell of a time. He left Bill Blass to focus on his eponymous line, only for his financial backers to, well, back swiftly away. The Cut asked how he was doing, and he told them, "Shit happens. Sometimes it's a lot, sometimes it's a little. So I think everyone's going through some tough times...Why don't you ask me some questions about Michelle Obama's dress?" Turns out he submitted sketches of a long, white gown — "I guess I was in the ballpark, right?" — but obviously wasn't Michelle Obama's final choice. The way I see it, while a Google bump and a Good Morning America interview might have given him some press, the fundamentals are still what counts. And his ability to design beautiful clothes women want to wear is, at least, recession-proof. [The Cut]
• Clearly Som is not the only one in fashion hurting. Abercrombie & Fitch, which had extremely poor fourth quarter sales, laid off 50 workers at their Ohio headquarters. The mall store sees itself as an aspirational brand, so it refuses to discount its wares to move units during any downturn — their sale-happy competitors have no such compunction, which is part of the reason for Abercrombie's double-digit slide in same-store sales since August of last year. Further layoffs have not been ruled out. [Reuters]
• For another view on the recession, check out this interview with Stefano Gabbana and Domenico Dolce, conducted back in September, just as the financial news was going from bad to awful. It's a snapshot of two men who, like we all were back then, are still grappling with the daily news of a world economy in a slow-motion crash. Says Gabbana, "The money hasn’t changed, it’s the mentality." Dolce offers, "Maybe we go well with crisis?" before pointing out a trend piece in Corriere della Serra about the financial crisis bringing people together. Gabbana shoots back, "Yes, but I’m also tired of reading this stupid stuff. I’m sick of it. We said the same thing after September 11. We just continue to do our job in the same way, maybe putting more energy, more fantasia, more creativity into it." As worthwhile a strategy as any. [Interview]
• Other designers plowing resolutely ahead without saying 'boo': Brioni, which introduced a made-to-measure suit that can cost up to $43,000 in October, and Hermès, whose limited-edition silk Josef Albers scarves of last fall cost $2800 each. The "elite of the elite" have bought 30 of the suits, astonishingly. [WSJ]
• Supposedly, LVMH's Bernard Arnault and PPR's François Pinault have buried the hatchet. What kind of world is it where two French luxury-industry billionaires who share a last-name syllable can't get along? [Financial Times]
• Iman compared herself to a duck in an interview with E! Canada. Because ducks look calm and collected, but are paddling furiously beneath the surface. A writer for the National Post, apparently unable to grasp why a supermodel would find an animal metaphor useful in describing her personality as opposed to her looks, takes this to mean Iman has body-image issues. [National Post]
• A stage manager who worked on the set of "Lipstick Jungle" is being charged with the theft of almost $30,000 worth of costumes. Designers who had lent the production their clothing and accessories noticed unreturned items going up on eBay. [CNN]
• Jason Wu is feeling the love this week. The 26-year-old designer of that one-shouldered white gown got his very own profile in the Times' "Sunday Styles" section, right ahead of fashion week. Reporter Eric Wilson mentions Wu was taking interviews in between working on his fall collection, but offers no further details of the intriguing fur-fest. (Wu told Fashion Week Daily fall would be all about fur. And "luxury.") [NY Times]
• Inaugural fashion coverage would not be complete without a lengthy, considered piece by Robin Givhan all about the styles of dress of the attendees not named Obama. [Washington Post]
• For reasons unclear, Spanish feminists protested a Zara store in Madrid. [The F Word]
• J Peterman, the company best known for "Seinfeld" gags and a real-life 1999 bankruptcy, is back. [MSNBC]
• Awesome lady Jane Birkin watched the Hermès men's show in Paris wearing an Obama pin. [WWD]
• Chloe Sevigny talks to the Times about her style, but gives no information about that unisex collection she's presenting this week in Paris. She does, however, shop for hosiery from a guy who is "like the Soup Nazi, but he sells socks." [NY Times]
• Meanwhile, Padma Lakshmi has a line of fine jewelry she'd like very much to sell you. [WWD]
• The Fashion Design Council of India has a new program: model rehab. It's like industry exit counseling, to get you a new job when the clients stop booking you. [Hindustan Times]
• Jim Horne, male model of the 40s and 50s, and first cover subject of the newly renamed Gentleman's Quarterly, died at age 91 in New York. The business certainly was different then. [NY Times]
• Women shoppers are increasingly angered by the poor construction of budget fashion items. Complaints because of unwarned shrinkage, fading, breaking zippers, running dyes, and embellishments that fall off at the first wear are up 22%. Let's not take it anymore! Until there is another sale at H&M. [Independent]
• Marc Jacobs has palatial new digs in someAndre Balazs-developed condo building in SoHo. It's 2,500-square-feet, presumably expensive. [New York Post]
• Pam Anderson's Vivienne Westwood campaign is out. Shockingly, the pairing results in a less than demure aesthetic...let's just say Pamela Anderson's breasts are prominently displayed. Which is more subtle than the pics themselves! [Fashionista]
• At least they're going out with a bang: Hartmarx Corp., the Chicago company that owns Obama Inaugural tux-maker Hart Schaffner Marx, has filed for bankruptcy. [WSJ]
• Kanye West "promotes" his new Louis Vuitton-collab sneakers in a bizarre new video. Which is to say, he proclaims that he's changing his name from "the Louis Vuitton Don" (?) to "Martin Louis the King, Jr." (?) then declares, "and until then, I will be in the building, swagger, until one hundred thousand trillion." [Racked]
• Speaking of odd collaborations, we don't even want to imagine what kind of douchey teen will carry the new Ric Owens Eastpaks to school. At the very least, the inkstains had better be solid gold. [Fashionista]

It's no secret that the clothes on TV tend to be aspirational: we get that. We, after all, know first-hand that a freelance writer who peacocks like Carrie Bradshaw is mere fantasy, and don't begrudge the dame her Manolos. But it also strikes us as a little curious that the spate of prime-time shows whose avowed goal is to portray powerful women (Lipstick Jungle, Cashmere Mafia, Dirty Sexy Money, anything set in a hospital or law-firm) then feel they need to glamorize and sexualize these careers in order to make them interesting.

On a basic level, it's misleading. Says one female exec in a Financial Times piece, “You’ve got to be able to run up stairs and chase down taxis...I see programs like Lipstick Jungle, where the women walk around in 5in heels, with outrageous jewellery and low necklines. That isn’t practical.” Or professional: whenever we see Whitney Port swanning around Manhattan in a 3" skirt we worry uncomfortably how many young women are going to appear for an interview for some summer internship dressed in just as "aspirational" a getup.

While "real-world" ladies are toning down their work wardrobes in keeping with somber times and a shaky job market, the high-powered execs of prime-time corporate America hover ever higher and their clothes shout ever-louder. Says Lipstick's stylist, Amanda Ross, to the FT: “I dressed the characters on the show to look polished and impeccably groomed,” adding that it “goes to extremes with layering and accessorising” but otherwise stays the straight and narrow. While a viewing of the show leads us to respectfully disagree (and by the by, costumes are the least of its problems), no costume designer should have to apologize for upping the ante. Perhaps what seems problematic is the wrinkle as old as Ally McBeal: it's one thing to glamorize for entertainment, but at what point does that veer into disrespect for actual dames?

This is a relatively new issue: professional women have rarely, historically, been the focus of shows and as such didn't require much sexing up. But it does seem like even when professional women were portrayed, it wasn't in a sexualized way: when Melanie Griffith's Working Girl goes corporate, she becomes less sexy, more professional: her clothes are impeccably tailored, but serious. In prior eras, a working gal might be glam, but that was very different from sexy. Mary Richards hardly showed cleavage; acting and writing added the character's allure. Is it good that a character can be both a sexy woman and a career pro? Sure. But why does that require a "sexy" outfit to prove it? A little less showing, more telling, plz.

The Wardrobes Of TV’s Career Women [FT]

• Britney Spears's comeback includes a stop at NBC’s Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony on December 3. Will she perform? Will she push the button and light the tree? Will she ice skate? So many questions. [MSNBC]
• Wait a minute: In this report, Britney says her new life sucks! "There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day. […] I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening." B-but- you're doing so well! [The Sun]
• Brit's new CD leaked all over the internet yesterday, probably deliberately. Fans dig it. [The Sun]
• Barack Obama's barber in Chicago says the President-Elect doesn't mind having gray hair. "It's not like he has a head full of gray hair," says Zariff, who only goes by one name. "It's just a few gray hairs, so it's nothing to get excited about." Oh! And Zariff might visit DC! "I said, 'I'm going with you' [if you win]," Zariff told Obama. His reply? "Absolutely. I'm not changing barbers, man." [Us]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer had a romantic candlelight dinner. It's so on. [People]

• Have you seen Rihanna's new video, the one with Justin Timberlake? She slithers on the hood of a car, he's dripping wet in a wife beater. They embrace. It's HOT. [Concrete Loop]
• Jessica Simpson says her sister Ashlee may induce labor. What is she doing?
  "Different foot massages and stuff," Jessica told Ellen DeGeneres on her show (which airs Wednesday). "I don't know. I think she's really just jumping around trying everything right now." [People]
• Angelina Jolie was on BBC radio last night, talking about Changeling. There's video, so if you want to see her ignoring the camera, being incredibly reserved and looking down and being quiet, by all means, watch. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina got super emotional while talking about her mom at a press conference in London. Tears! [Perez Hilton]
• When asked if the public could expect her to add to her enormous family with Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie replied: "Sure you can." [Mirror]
• By the by, Angelina's dad Jon Voight says he has one wish before he dies and it's "to work with my son [James Haven] and Angie again, in a movie. The three of us together. That would be nice." [MSNBC]
• Get psyched: Miley Cyrus will perform on the finale of Dancing With The Stars, just two days after her 16th birthday. Her song is called "Fly On The Wall," maybe you want to get the lyrics and sing along? [People, UPI]
• Jennifer Lopez loves motherhood and wants more babies. Cashmere onesies for everyone! [MSNBC]
• Tim Robbins has written an open letter to Gregory C. Soumas of the New York City Board of Elections. It begins: "I would like to publicly apologize for being such a dim-witted dilettante on Election Day. I was under the naïve assumption that I could vote where I voted in the last two elections." And it ends: "I was thinking of returning that favor by publishing your home address in this letter but then I thought that maybe one of the thousands of New Yorkers that were taken off the voter rolls in the last two months might not understand what a patriotic upstanding man you are and might show up at your doorstep with the misguided assumption that you are a petty vindictive corrupt scumbag." [Huffington Post]
• Christian Siriano: Engaged! He also might appear on Gossip Girl and says his next collection is "a little bit inspired by Egypt." Oh, and he saw the Victoria's Secret fashion show and declares: "Tranny Klum is fabulous." That's Heidi to you and me. [E!]
• William from Stylista has written a goodbye letter, in which he says: "I want Ashlie to win! Hands down! Team Ashlie all the way! She is, quite possibly, the only sane person (minus the hysterics) left on the show. Now, that's not to say that I don't like a little crazy, but honestly, I could sing Ashlie's praises all day." [Elle]
• Authorities found "multiple prescription bottles" by the body of Paula Goodspeed after she allegedly overdosed near Paula Abdul's house last week. [TMZ]
• An extra in a courtroom scene on NBC's Medium was so disruptive, he was kicked out of the jury box. Turns out he was Sasha Baron Cohen, dressed as Bruno. Guess Patricia Aquette didn't see that one coming. [EW]
• Lipstick Jungle: Not canceled. Yet. [NY Mag, NY Times]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt's trailer on the set of Ghost Whisperer was burgled. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson will not go to London, despite being sued by former pal Prince Abdullah of Bahrain. The cash was an advance, in exchange for two albums, a musical, and an autobiography. None of which Jackson has delivered. The trial started yesterday and continues today, without Jackson's presence; his lawyer says he is to ill to travel. [Fox 411]
• Courtney Love went on some kind of blogathon on Sunday, posting 60 times. Now she writes: "I didnt know that style.com would put all those links together, i dont ingest alchohol and to even make the merest suggestion of a Cr__k P–e is insane and mean.and a lie, wichyou know perfectly well." She also says: "i am not suicidal, occasionally very occasioanly like all of us i get depressed, and that was over a year ago and i had a mini little depression attack well big one, and the Lanvin show made me happier, i dont know quite why it happened but i find that mediciation is not the answer to this, working out and doing daimoku ( chanting) is as is yoga and eating correctly and i want somemore Kombucha tea i think that stuff is miraculous for glow and health. those things work far better than this chemical culture of numbing our rage and numbing our pains and demons." There's a [sic] on all of that, obvs. [Perez Hilton]
• Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour wer on Extra. They were asked why they broke up. Simon said: "Because Terri decided to dump me. You sent me a text." Terri replied: "I didn't dump you. It was just time. We had a great six years, and we're the best of friends." Simon denied that Terri got a £5 million "golden goodbye." He laughed: "If anything I should be getting the money." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand's girlfriend, Sydney Jo Jackson, is cute and curly-haired, but this paper says she is "equally barmy in the barnet department." [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz is having trouble selling is sexy penthouse, a "moody orgy palace" priced at $18 million. It's been on the market for six years; dreadlocked rockstar not included. [NY Mag via Curbed]
• What's in Julianne Moore's makeup bag? Kiehl's Original Musk, Tarte Cheek Stain in Blushing Bride, Olay Complete Defense Daily UV Moisturizer. And more. [Marie Claire]
• Jessica Lange has a book of photography and it is gorgeous. Click to see some black and white shots. [NY Mag]
• Brandon Walters, a 6 year old aboriginal boy who stars with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman in Australia, is suddenly famous, but Nicole says: "I feel very protective of him. If the film does really well he is going to need a lot of protection." His mom says: "If it does become a problem for him we'll just go out bush, get away from it all. Now he's at school, he's happy and never stops talking. The film made him confident. He's no longer shy." [Reuters]
• Seth Rogan wants to make a porno-based comedy for Showtime. It would be a series about three twentysomethings who learn about life and love while running a pornography shop, and it's in development. [Variety]
• Rashida Jones: Back on NBC! She'll star in Amy Poehler's new show. [Page Six]
• Beef between Damon Dash and Jay-Z: Kanye West is involved, as are diamond chains. [Rush & Molloy]
• Speaking of Kanye, 50 Cent says Mr. West's new album is "interesting" and that the public "won't forgive him for it" and that it's actually "T-Pain's album." Ouch. [The.Life Files]
• Celine Dion has been forced to postpone several tour dates due to a respiratory virus. Her people say: "Her physician has instructed her to refrain from singing in order to completely recover." [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Locklear: Formally charged with DUI after that incident when she was arrested in September. She's been charged with one count of driving under the influence of prescription drugs. [Extra, TMZ]
• Actress Heather Matarazzo was supposed to marry girlfriend Caroline Murphy in California, but now that Prop 8 has passed, she jokes, "We're breaking up. I'm going to get together with [MSNBC's] Keith Olbermann. We'll have babies, lots of babies!" [Rush & Molloy]
• Spotted: Natalie Imbruglia snogging Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas. [Mirror]
• Meg Ryan has won a German lifetime achievement award for best international actress and will pick up the statuette at a gala ceremony November 27. They're calling her the "queen of romantic comedy" and seem to think it is still 1989. [Yahoo News]
• Stan Lee and Olivia de Havilland both received the National Medal of Arts and the National Humanities Medal at the White House yesterday. [Washington Post]
• The Daily Mail apologizes for its "inaccurate" article about David Duchovny and his tennis coach. [People]
• "So how did Steve Martin and Maureen McCormick end up on a date? Florence Henderson knew Chevy Chase, who knew Steve Martin, who wanted Maureen's phone number. They had dinner and made out and the kissing was good, but Maureen was out of it. It would be their only date." [Huffington Post]
• This story, called "Producers' fury at George Takei for boldly going where he shouldn't have" is about how Takei urinated in the camp in the middle of the night on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Producers are pissed! [Daily Mail]
• So far, George Takei is the favorite to win the show! [Mirror]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and husband Peter Andre are not on the rocks; here is a picture of her wearing a giant "P" necklace to prove it. [The Sun]
• Mindy McCready, who was released from jail two weeks ago, says she isn't proud of an affair she had with baseball great Roger Clemens. She met Clemens when she was 16 but didn't have sex with him until several years later. "Roger Clemens is one of the most wonderful men I've ever known. He treated me like a princess." But! She says she now has "nothing but remorse and nothing but sympathy for what [his wife Debbie] had to go through with this situation, and she has my utmost apology." [UPI]
• Coming to Broadway: Priscilla Queen of the Desert, the musical! [UPI]
• Mary Delgado , a former NFL cheerleader and winner of The Bachelor in 2004, is out of jail after being arrested in a southwest border-town bar for unruly behavior. Drama! [AP]
• Cheech and Chong: Gonna get roasted. Not baked, roasted! [UPI]
• A poem handwritten by Sir Paul McCartney for his friend Spike Milligan is to be sold at auction next week. It's called "The Poet Of Dumbswoman Lane." [Telegraph]
• Five year old Beatrice McCartney is on her dad's new track, a Sir Paul ditty called "Two Magpies." [Mirror]
• Bogota, Colombia hearts Duran Duran. [Guardian]
• "'Climb every Mountain' is a beautiful statement of philosophy. Critics may think The Sound of Music is saccharine, but I think it's profound." — Jon Voight. [MSNBC]
• "I've gotten more stylish since I've been with my husband. I was always making fun of him because he has so many leather coats, jackets and shoes. But he looks hot. I want to look good for him. So I kind of stepped it up a bit." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "There's no smoking. The lights never go out, 24/7. You can't cover anything. You can't even put your head under a blanket. All the cells have cameras in them. I was told, you know, 'You'll have your own cell.' But I didn't for the first two or three weeks; I had a cell mate. He got out – but not for long. He came back in pretty quick." — Keifer Sutherland on his stint in jail, in Men's Vogue. [People]
• "Pete and I laugh about it. We can’t win. If we’re smiling for the cameras they say we’re setting it up to gloss over the cracks. If we’re not together they think we’ve split up." — Katie "Jordan" Price on the breakup rumors about her and husband Peter Andre. [Daily Mail]
• "Yes, I have solar panels and all that sort of stuff. However, the more I learn about the subject matter, I also realise that people find it patronizing. They feel like they're being told what to do when somebody like me talks about the fact I have solar panels. Not everybody can get solar panels and not everyone can drive a hybrid car. It's not about blame or telling people how to live, it's just about saying, 'Let's all be aware of these issues.'" — Leonardo DiCaprio. [Daily Express]
• "In terms of my future as an actor and stuff, I don't know. I am in a place in my life where... I've had some great opportunities and I may just choose to have some more children. I've no idea what is in my future but I am very at peace with where I want to be. There are many things I want to do besides act." — Nicole Kidman. [Reuters]
• "Sometimes I lie in bed and I'm like, 'Oh my god, there's Seal lying next to me. What's he doing there?' I get a smile on my face immediately. Our honeymoon period is definitely not over." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "We feed the chickens and the pigs — I have two pigs, and boy are they really pigs. They just get down in that mud and roll around. I like getting down in there and working in the garden. Oh, I want someone to build me a good chicken coop… like a man who can just get down there and build it…ooh." — Reese Witherspoon, on taking her kids to her farm outside of L.A. [USA Today]

[On location for "Lipstick Jungle," November 6. Image via Splash.]

Korto and Joe created this sweet potato jacket with an ill-fitting strapless khaki dress beneath. I was not a fan. I felt like it was supposed to be luxe, sumptuous hippie chic, but ended up looking like somebody stole from the costume closet of a community theater's production of As You Like It.

Suede and Terri's off-the-shoulder blouse was wearable, though not groundbreaking.

The judges loved Jerrell and Stella's dress, though Brooke seemed terrified by the belt. Heidi Klum was eyeing this like she was gonna snatch it.

Somehow Blayne did not go home for this cheesy Lauren Conrad knock off. Leanne always looks like she's going to cry, but for once, she had good reason. And who styled this outfit? The pearls were dumb.

Keith dreamed up this confection, and Kenley helped with the execution… Although her taste in patterns is questionable: Did you see the floral she wanted? So glad she was overruled. This was the winning design, which you will not see on Lipstick Jungle because no one watches that show.

Here's the slutty slutty mess. I honestly don't think it's that bad. I liked the leopard on the inside of the jacket and the idea of the bustier. But it wasn't right for this challenge… Better on some kind of "Let's say Bettie Page had a twenty something personal assistant and she needed something for a work trip to Vegas" challenge. In any case, Kelli was auf'd, when we all know it should have been the loathsome Blayne. Sigh.

Project Runway Season 5 [Bravo]

• Listen to Heidi Montag's earsplittting new single, "No More," at your own risk. It sounds like this: You said I was the reason why we couldn't work out but it was all a lie...Ar ar ar ai ai ah ah blah dah dah, except in like, dolphin language. [People]
  
• Lindsay Lohan reportedly left a series of phone messages for Calum Best that were all, "I can't believe you would ever fucking do this to me, I should have listened to everyone. I should never have fucking trusted you." Hey Linds! Didja hear? That's not you in the BJ clip! [The Sun]
  
• A judge is upholding the conservatorship of Britney Spears, despite some random lawyer's appeal. [Yahoo News]
  
• Britney kept her sunglasses on during rehearsals for How I Met Your Mother. Very professional. [MSNBC]

• A source says the role was very carefully chosen and avoided "trigger" topics like her music career and her kids. "They just wanted her to be treated normally, but obviously this wasn't a normal situation. This wasn't about her career, it was about her health." [MSNBC]
• Ooh, Britney revelations via Henry Rollins! Yeah, that's right, Henry Motherfucking Rollins! Henry sez: "They have the black chick come in and sing, and Britney sings over it, and they mix them together. (Britney) gets her phrasing basically from this older R&B woman. I found that out talking to an engineer. Britney apparently isn't actually the worst singer, she just has no feel. So they bring in this older black woman who sings the song, then Britney sings to it, and they kind of make a mix of the two voices, and that's what you hear on the records." [Dlisted]
• Cashmere Mafia: Dunzo? And Lipstick Jungle coming back? Is anyone watching either show? [Page Six]
• A dude named David K. Zandi is lobbying to star in Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, a Disney flick based on a video game. Actors up for the role include Orlando Bloom, Milo Ventimiglia and Zac Efron but Zandi says "people are fascinated that a real Persian with royal lineage could be hired to play this role." And by people he means himself. Anyway, Disney is all LOL. [Page Six]
• Grey's Anatomy star Justin Chambers had a vasectomy after he and his wife had their 5th child. But! The couple would consider adopting! Are they battling Angelina for kiddie supremacy? [Page Six]
• Weekly mag editors find Ashton Kutcher's show, Pop Fiction and the fake news it's trying to peddle (Avril's pregnancy, Paris' guru) in a word, yawn. [Rush & Molloy]
• Nude photo of Carla Bruni, aka French First Lady, up for auction! [Rush & Molloy]
• Allen Covert, who has co-starred in a dozen movies with Adam Sandler, was arrested on the set of his latest Sandler film when he spat and slapped a paparazzo he thought was filming his kid. [TMZ]
• The family of Bob Marley will not allow his music to be in a Weinstein Co. film, even though Rita Marley is an executive producer on the project. But Martin Scorsese is set to direct a documentary on Bob, which would be allowed to use his music, according to Ziggy. [TMZ]
• Dancing With The Stars alum Sara Evans went through a very public divorce battle last year but won't let that stop her from getting engaged to a former University of Alabama quarterback. Congrats. [People]
• Milo Ventimiglia has a YouTube account in which you can see videos of Milo brushing his teeth and whatnot. Gripping! [People]
• The Smashing Pumpkins are suing Virgin Records for illegally using their name and music in promotional deals. Did anyone know the Smashing Pumpkins were still around? [Yahoo News]
• Sean Diddy Combs has settled a lawsuit brought by a man who claims the rapper punched him outside of a Hollywood hotel, but the terms of the deal are unknown. [Yahoo News]
• Denise Richards, who was legally known as Denise Sheen, is changing her name back to Denise Richards. Don't these people have anything better to do than go to court? [Yahoo News]
• Heather Mills once claimed she'd been offered a title, Baroness Mills; a new TV documentary calls bullshit on that. [Mirror]
• Ice T and Coco have a sex secret called The Stroke that you can feel free to read more about if you care to. [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse has been offered £350,000 to perform at a Dutch club that is "in the heart of the biggest drug circuit in Holland." Oh, dear. Sing, take the money and run! [The Sun]
• Pete Doherty was seen visiting Amy's house with hands that looked like they "hadn't been washed for a week." Such lovely imagery this morning! [The Sun]

[Image via Oh! My God! I Miss You]

Variety

"Lipstick Jungle" is the superior product of this winter's "career-woman pals try having it all" dramedies, but that's not an especially esteemed sorority. Like ABC's "Mafia," it's all fairly surface-oriented stuff — grappling with ruthless bosses (who, in Sands' case, always seem to know the gossip first), fending off ambitious underlings and solving other problems particular to the filthy rich, like getting kids into a prestigious private school or having the former nanny pen a tell-all book.

"Lipstick Jungle" is plodding and heavy-handed. "Cashmere Mafia" isn't much better, but it at least has a slightly lighter touch...This pilot opens with a montage of fancy footwear: four-inch pumps, leopard-print wedge boots, silver slippers. Those who love by the shoe, die by the shoe. "Lipstick Jungle" is a wooden clog of a melodrama squeezed into a flimsy, satin and marabou mule.

"Lipstick Jungle" is to "Sex and the City" what New Coke was to Coca-Cola — a brand extension best forgotten. Whereas "Sex and the City" minted a genuine, shiny, new modern heroine — the sexually active, sexually explicit but still romantic good girl — "Lipstick Jungle" is content to play dress-up with a bunch of frayed-at-the-edges paper dolls. Here's Wendy Healy (Brooke Shields), the nicest movie executive you'll ever meet (she doesn't even swear), dutifully struggling to fill her roles as deal maker, mommy, wife and BFF. Needless to say, she's on the phone a lot.

Not for a second will you believe Shields as a movie mogul, not when she fights to cast a "Galileo" film or when she tangles with a director who added a gay twist to her summer romantic comedy. Shields fares better when the stories veer to her guilt about being the family breadwinner.

It's nearly a certainty that someone will call "Lipstick Jungle," NBC's new drama series about sensual and successful women, a "guilty pleasure," but it's really more of a guilty horror. You feel you're not watching a show so much as flipping through a catalogue of gaudy and pricey luxuries — glittery junk that nobody needs — and being expected to drool on cue.

Just imagine the anti-Hillary forces condemning these two network shows about type-A female personalities, as if they had anything to do with serious achievers. The assertive-to-the point-of-aggressive woman is getting special scrutiny this year. Whether they're sparring over a lover, a promotion or a condo, women can be sharks. At least that's the vision of successful cosmopolitan women offered by a certain strain of TV series suddenly in abundance. Don't bother to call it post-feminist or third-wave feminist, just call it tacky soap opera.

Lipstick Jungle Review [Variety]
Shoe-Savvy Friends Against the City [New York Times]
Lipstick Jungle Review [Los Angeles Times]
Glossy 'Lipstick Jungle' Smacks Of 'Sex' [Boston Herald]
'Lipstick Jungle': NBC's Thick Application of Gloss [Washington Post]
'Lipstick' Is Just Another Shade Of Tacky [Seattle Post Intelligencer]

Earlier: Could Lipstick Jungle Be A Show You Actually Watch?
Critics Say Cashmere Mafia Has Polyester Quality

So anyway: we fully intended to feel the same way about Lipstick Jungle, the Candace Bushnell project that will premiere next week to compete with Cashmere Mafia viewers, the show that tore apart the lucrative friendship of Bushnell and Darren Star. I mean, seriously: Lipstick Jungle: if there is a title more obnoxious, more shamelessly pandering to the sick set of values perpetuated by Sex & The City than Cashmere Mafia, that would be it, right? But according to a story in today's New York Observer — the newspaper that started it all by printing Bushnell's wretched columns every week! — there may be a reason to give Lipstick Jungle a chance. Specifically, an executive producer and director who intends to make it somehow palatable to dudes, thirtysomething star Timothy Busfield:

"I really wanted this show to be about the little problems," he said. "I do not like necessarily, even in our show, when we get too hijinks-orientated. Too high profile. I'd love the show to be, at its core, about the difficulty of the working mom, a leader in the workplace, who still is a mom and wife who provides for her husband and kids. My dream moment is to see Brooke come home after an enormously long day and have to load the dishwasher. Those little problems—not the business going under, or flying to Scotland to get J.K. Rowling ... That stuff? Great, we have it. But the matters of self-doubt and overcoming self-doubt, that is what the show is about."
Mr. Busfield, who was raised by a single mom, has encouraged the cast to bring their kids to the set (Ms. Raver has a 5-year-old son and 3-month-old baby) in the name of creating a happy work environment. "If Kim breaks to nurse, no one is allowed to make her feel bad or rush," said Mr. Busfield. "This is a show when women can bring their kids. I don't expect you to leave them at home, I'll wait for you to finish pumping if you need to."
He also expects the show to offer sympathetic and complex male characters. "I felt the men were a little two-dimensional on Sex and The City," said Mr. Busfield, adding, "I think men's reaction to Sex and The City is like women's reaction to The Three Stooges.
"I want the male audience," he continued. "I want them to think, What can I do better?" He laughed. "They laugh, but the actresses know I want to shoot them like John Wayne. They're all John Wayne to me. Shoot the costumes, get the moments, let me see the spurs."

But shit, people, there's a writer's strike on. What else are you going to watch, Millionaire Matchmaker?

Okay, seriously, Millionaire Matchmaker is kind of awesome, but still.

Carrie's Sister [New York Observer]

Bauer-Griffin]

• As reported late Friday, Nicole Richie gave birth to her baby on January 11, a daughter she named Harlow Winter Kate Madden. (6 lbs., 7oz.) Ooh, pretty name! Er, names, that is. [People]
  
• And the next day, just down the hall in Cedars Sinai's maternity ward, Christina Aguilera gave birth to a baby boy, Max Liron Bratman, (6 lbs. 2 oz.) on Saturday. Seventeen years from now, will Max and Harlow be dating? [TMZ]
  
• Britney Spears and new boyfriend Adnan Ghalib went shopping over the weekend and Ghalib got into a "shoving match" with the paparazzi. Dude, don't forget where you came from! [Page Six]
  
• Um, while Brit and her man were car shopping, she was wearing her old wedding dress. [People]
  
• Did Britney pay for Adnan's new Mercedes SUV? [PopDirt]

• Britney's due in court today, and Commissioner Scott Gordon is definitely going to want to know what was up with the kerfluffle at her house that crazy Thursday. But will she even show up? [TMZ]
• She has been "strongly advised" to attend the hearing. Obviously. [People]
• A source says Britney's boys are doing "fantastic" in the sole custody of Kevin Federline and aren't asking for their mom at all, sob. [PageSix.com]
• Staffers at the Mexican hotel Britney stayed in on Wednesday say Britney appeared to be "high" while there. She sat all alone at the bar singing the words to "Toxic" to herself. Maybe she felt like she was in a video? [The Sun]
• Sources say Adnan and Britney may get married. But wouldn't he have to get divorced first? [Mirror]
• Is Val Kilmer dating Chad Lowe's girlfriend? Do you care? [Page Six]
• "It's great to see an exotic face in sci-fi. Little girls who look like me — or who are Arab, Filipina, whatever — are going to go, 'Oh, my God, we can be in space, too!" — Zoe Saldana, who plays Lt. Uhura in the upcoming Star Trek movie. [Page Six]
• Will Lipstick Jungle be way better than Cashmere Mafia? Sources say CM's Lucy Liu has a "lack of friendliness" whereas LJ's Brooke Shields "laughs out loud constantly." Hmm, could one of those "sources" be Candace Bushnell? [Gatecrasher]
• Blind item! "Which candidate's daughter recently went on a date with an ardent Ron Paul supporter? "The date became all about him trying to convince her about Paul," laughs a friend. 'Finally, she said, "You know my dad's running for President. You're not going to change my mind!"?'" [Gatecrasher]
• Will the writers' strike derail the Grammys? Survey says: Maybe. [Rush & Molloy]
• Bjork landed in New Zealand and a member of her entourage asked that no pictures be taken at the airport. A photographer snapped a couple of shots, so Bjork ran up on the guy and tore his T-shirt. Human behavior! [TMZ]
• A new report names Mary J. Blige, 50 Cent and Timbaland among the stars who may have received or used performance-enhancing drugs. Mary on steroids? Thought she was just fine! [Editor & Publisher]
• So you know how Brad Pitt let Pax "drive" a couple of weeks ago? He also let him ride in a cherry picker at the construction site. Sources are saying that Brad put the kid in danger and Pax should have been wearing a helmet, seatbelt, safety harness, etc. [MSNBC]
• Dame Edna (Australian comic Barry Humphries) has been ordered to rest for six months after complications from appendix surgery. The 73-year-old Humphries was forced to cancel a North American tour. Get well soon! [Reuters]
• The Harvard Lampoon is giving Paris Hilton the "Woman Of The Year" award in a large public ceremony in the middle of Harvard Square. Is this the closest Paris will ever get to Harvard? And does she realize it's kind of a joke? [PR Newswire]
• Oscar-winning screenwriter Roger Avary — he penned Pulp Fiction — was arrested on suspicion of manslaughter and DUI after he crashed his car, injuring his wife and killing a man. Hate to say it, but it sounds like a plot twist from the flick. [USA Today]
• Malia Nurmi, known as Vampira, has died at the age of 86. RIP. [BoingBoing]
• Vivica A. Fox claims her rumored sex tape does not exist. "If you see me having a love scene, it's going to be choreographed in a movie, and be fabulous," she says. [People]
• Yes, Lauren Conrad has left Teen Vogue but she was not fired. "I was kind of done," she explains. Meanwhile she says she's "looking" for a new job. And will return to The Hills for another season. [People]
• In old-school Hollywood news, Richard Burton slept with Marilyn Monroe, a new book claims. Yeah, not surprising. At all. [Telegraph]
• Wesley Snipes will go on trial today over the fact that he didn't pay taxes from 1994 to 2004, despite earning about $38 million. He says he is not guilty and acted on the advice of tax professionals. Good luck! [NY Times]
• One of Kid Rock's friends dropped a $200,000 watch at a restaurant; Kid gave the busboy who found it $1,000 in cash. Who knew that KR had cash to throw around? [Page Six]