• Could Michael Lohan go to jail for the phone calls he's been leaking?

Apparently Dina Lohan has had a protective order since 2005 — and it bans Michael Lohan from communicating with Dina by email or phone through 2011. One of the calls is supposedly from 2008, meaning Michael definitely violated the order. [TMZ]

• A "source" on Nicole Kidman's face at the Country Music Awards: "She looked freakish; She just had her lips done, and now she looks like Meg Ryan." [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are dating! Director Catherine Hardwicke says so! But she says: "It didn't happen on the first movie. Nothing crossed the line while on the first film," since KStew was 18. Now that she's 19, it's on! TWILIGHT IS REAL ZOMG SPARKLEVAMP 4EVA BITE ME. [Us]
• Because he is awesome, Johnny Depp has offered to take care of Nicolas Cage's debts. Apparently Johnny was a struggling musician when he met Nic in the '80s, and Nic sent Johnny to his agent, who cast Johnny in Nightmare On Elm Street. [Daily Express]
• Levi Johnston had his Playgirl shoot yesterday, which involved a hockey stick and, naturally, nudity. Levi's manager Tank Jones says: "The shoot was fantastic! People are going to see more of Levi than they thought." Grrrreat. There's another shoot today; may we suggest a moose-skin rug? Or an igloo? [Us]
• Levi Johnston says he sees his upcoming memoir becoming a movie. "I would play myself," he says, naturally. [Gatecrasher]
• As previously mentioned, Chris Brown went to a Footaction store on Wednesday, and was heckled. A woman shouted, "I hope someone beats the fucking shit out of you!" Today Chris will be on Wendy Williams saying he's been "perceived wrong" and I'm definitely remorseful, and it's not something that I take lightly or think that it's, like, under the rug." [Page Six]
• Before the Country Music Awards, Wynonna Judd said Taylor Swift's nomination for Entertainer Of The Year was "too much too soon… I want kids to earn it." But now she says: "My intent was not to take anything from her talent and contributions to the country music industry… Taylor is a beautiful, hard working young woman that deserves the success she has had and I support her as an artist and as a woman in the business." Sure, sure. [Us Magazine]
• Lily Allen has hurt her foot after falling while carrying a suitcase down a flight of stairs. [The Sun]
• DVR alert: Kathy Griffin will be on Law & Order SVU. [TV Guide]
• Balloon Dad Richard Heene turned himself in yesterday and was released on a $5000 bond. [ET]
• Richard Heene will plead guilty to felony charges, his lawyer claims. Mayumi Heene will plead guilty to false reporting to authorities — a misdemeanor. Is there a law against making everyone worry? [NY Post]
• Amy Winehouse is working with a Miami-based producer on her third record, but her visa issues keep her from traveling. [The Sun]
• If you would like to see a mug shot of Cindy Crawford's alleged blackmailer, click the link. He's a former model who took a photograph he found in Cindy's nanny's room, and the pic shows Cindy's daughter bound and gagged for a "prank." [TMZ]
• Nadya Suleman would like for you to know that she is a competent mother. [Us]
• Some guy is auctioning off Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley's marriage certificate from when they tied the knot in the Dominican Republic in 1994. The names Jackson + Presley = ca$h. [Perez]
• 20-year-old Daniel Radcliffe smoked pot and a party and it is "news." [Mirror]
• Geena Davis has gained weight and it is "news." [NY Daily News]
• Whoa — Emmy Rossum met Adam Duritz via Twitter? [People]
• BREAKING: Vivica A. Fox and 50 Cent are no longer pissed at each other. [Page Six]
• Rumors abounded but now it's official: Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane are expecting their first child. [Gatecrasher]
• In this video, David Beckham talks about playing with the LA Galaxy today, which means missing an England vs. Brazil game. [Guardian]
• Lil' Kim is being sued for $20,000 by British club promoters who claim she accepted money but then did not appear at an event, saying she had a nosebleed. No, really. [NY Post]
• Aerosmith's management reportedly asked Steven Tyler to perform in a wheelchair. "I just wouldn't do it," Tyler told Rolling Stone. Not even if you were contractually obligated to do the gig and hurt yourself acting crazy on stage? Hmm. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Tori Amos' fantasy band would have Janis Joplin on vocals, Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, Bootsy Collins on bass and Zeppelin's John Bonham on drums. [Independent]
• In "10 Questions For Tony Hawk," the skateboarder says: "I don't want to name names. I'm just saying many Olympic sports require less physical effort and less talent than skateboarding." [Time]
• Chris Mann wrote the Three's Company tell-all book Come and Knock on Our Door, and served as consulting producer on NBC's behind-the-scenes movie about Company. On his blog, he writes that before John Ritter died, he was asked about Suzanne Somers' supposed breast cancer, and Ritter said: "We don't know if Suzanne has cancer or not, because she lies." [Retroality.tv]
• Jon & Kate is being replaced by Cake Boss, a show that seems super scripted but still pretty funny. And unlike those weird "challenge" cake shows, the cakes actually look edible and delicious. [NY Post]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor has tax problems. Will she have to move to the country and live on a farm with a pig named Arnold? Oh wait. That was Eva. Anyway, Bernard Madoff is to blame for this. [TMZ]
• Saturday Night Live Christmas 2009 airs December 19, and will feature the best holiday sketches from the show's 35-year history. [NY Post]
• TMZ lifted images from Radar Online. [Page Six]
• The Coen brothers are remaking True Grit, with Josh Brolin instead of John Wayne. [NY Daily News]
• "Look, I really am the last British actor who's not in any of the Harry Potter films. I was looking for something I could do that would make me cool in the eyes of my daughter." — Michael Sheen, of Frost/Nixon and, more importantly, New Moon. He also says: "I had to say to my daughter, 'I heard someone talking about this character Aro in these books. Do you know anything about that?' And she said, 'Yes, he's the leader of the Volturi and he reads people's minds. Are you playing him?' Of course I said, 'no, no, no'. When it was all worked out, she cried. Then she hit me." [Independent]
• It feels weird to do interviews because I don't understand why anyone wants to talk to me. There were all these other guys in high school that were bigger, funnier, and more handsome than I was, so why do you care about what I have to say? You should ask them." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I'm not aware of any fans. I do nothing to live in secrecy, but I really don't get recognized anywhere. Though I was walking my dog recently when someone yelled, 'Hey, Jason!' They said it so sweetly that I turned around and said, 'Hey!' Then they said, 'Fuck you, you asshole!' and drove away." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "I had friends growing up, but I struggled to feel like I really fit in. If I was invited to a party, I would just end up sitting on a couch or standing in a corner by myself. But it wasn't like I was getting beat up or anything. I wish I had gotten beaten up, because at least that would've justified why I felt so homesick all the time, even though I was home." — Jason Schwartzman. [Advocate]
• "Susan Boyle is a lovely gracious woman, and I took advantage of that by poking fun at her." — Sharon Osboune, who, a week ago, said SuBo looked like she'd been hit by a "fucking ugly stick." [NY Post]
• We were disappointed, but we understand. He's only 1. But we were in Alaska and have plenty of footage of Trig." — Barbara Walters wanted to have Sarah Palin's grandson Trig in the studio, but he has a cold and couldn't make it. [Page Six]
• "It's disgusting that people would say those things. My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she's one sexy lady. There's gonna be a time when I'm way curvier, and that'll be sexy, too." — Ashlee Simpson is tired of people calling Jessica Simpson fat. Ashlee also says her husband loves her body:"Pete isn't worried about stretch marks," she says. "He always makes me feel good." [Gatecrasher]
• "I have half-a-dozen close friends and Mariah is among the dearest. I flatter myself that the relationship is reciprocal: Mariah and I share a strong, sisterly friendship. She signs off all her letters to me with the affectionate endearment: 'Your sis, M.' Though she is stupendously rich and I am relatively poor, it is a friendship of equals. She visits me in my small home; I am a frequent guest at her various mansions and holiday villas all over the world." — from a piece written by a former MTV host who stayed friends with Mariah Carey after meeting her through work. [Daily Mail]
• "There are so many young girls wearing too much makeup, too much hairspray — I find that very dated." — Victoria Beckham. [Gatecrasher via Harper's Bazaar UK]

Beyonce Knowles, the ultimate modernist bombshell, in classic form.


The Hoff - in one place where he's always appreciated.


Juliette Lewis is intent on making everyone remember, at every turn, that she is not a rocker. Apparently she does put on a killer show!


Leona Lewis' getup makes me ponder the wide range of human tastes and likes.


Doda's outfit might be called "representational." "Literal," even.


But eh voila! The bomb contracts into a...large, random black circle.


Luckily for Lil Kim, there is a great deal to be said for consistency in this unpredictable world.


Is the, um, border of Shakira's arm-hole intended to evoke an Edenic serpent? Can she sit down in that dress? Or walk in those shoes? So many questions!


Now that she's 25, Katy Perry is an elegant grown-up lady. Or at least a Gibson Girl.


Asia Argento models the latest in Flintstones chic.


Elena Paparizou, meanwhile, models last year's iteration.


Not sure why Miranda Cosgrove needed to come to Berlin, but I guess Nickelodeon likes to represent. As do harlequins. And she's doing them both proud!


Shadow-tie-dye and high boots? If anyone can work it, it's a tall drink of water like Joss Stone.

[Images via Getty]

• Seriously, Jennifer Aniston, what the hell are you doing? First you signed on for desperado babyfever flick The Baster, now you're doing a movie called Pumas. That's right: PUMAS. The plot:

"Two thirtysomething women make a habit of romancing younger men." But wait: The ladies take a French skiing vacation that "challenges their romantic expectations." What's next? Old Maid: The Musical? [Variety]

• Mel Gibson was in a scuffle with a photographer and the snapper's friend; a shirt got ripped open and someone is filing a battery report against Gibson. More to come. [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton arrived in New York on Tuesday night to start filming The Beautiful Life, but some are saying it's too soon after her hospitalization. Here's the thing: On the show, Mischa plays an aging supermodel with a drug problem. [Gatecrasher]
• Isn't it interesting that we don't know who the mother of Jude Law's love child is? Someone from the set of Sherlock Holmes perhaps? [Page Six]
• Jennifer Lopez, her luggage, her husband and her impeccably dressed children are in Rome. [Daily Mail]
• Nadya Suleman's reality show is in production. Right now, her 14 kids are being kept off camera, while work permits are being figured out. Her lawyer says: "It most likely will be aired in the UK first once it gets finished, but there has been substantial interest from a U.S. major cable network." [EW]
• Kenny Chesney is denying the Star report (from yesterday's Midweek Madness) that he and Jessica Simpson flirted on July 4, in front on Tony Romo. "Tony's a friend, and I wouldn't flirt with a buddy's girlfriend," says Chesney. "More importantly, Jessica was just being sweet and there was nothing else to it." [People]
• Liam Gallagher and Lily Allen were on an 11-hour Virgin Atlantic flight to Japan and were repeatedly told to "calm down" as they boozed it up in a "marathon drinking session." [The Sun]
• BREAKING: Kim Kardashian doing "okay" after split. [People]
• Amy Winehouse made a deal with her neighbor — he'd grill the meat she'd bought if she'd do a private gig for him one day. [The Sun]
• Here's what happens when Hollywood films a movie in your house: branches with fake leaves arrive; Betty White holds your dog; Ryan Reynolds ignores you. [NY Times]
• Michael Jackson's mother, Katherine, will get custody of his kids. Katherine and Debbie Rowe have reached an agreement which gives Rowe visitation rights — but no additional money. [CBS News]
• Debbie Rowe wants the kids to have a psychologist to help them adjust to her being in their lives… And she will get one. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson's personal nurse and nutritionist Cherilyn Lee says she never saw him take any IV drugs. What I knew for a fact was he had very small veins. "When I met him and did his blood work he said, 'Don't feel bad because I have tiny squiggly veins, sometimes it takes 30 minutes to an hour to find my veins.'" [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Jackson's personal chef, Kai Chase, is still talking about being in the house the day the singer died. "I thought maybe Mr Jackson is sleeping late," she says. Also: She is sort of pushing a cookbook, tentatively titled Fit for a King. [Guardian]
• Dr. Conrad Murray was sentenced to jail earlier this year… for non-payment of child support. [Radar Online]
• Dr. Murray may lose his Las Vegas home. [NY Daily News]
• TMZ spoke to two sisters who worked for Dr. Conrad Murray — LaQuisha Middleton and LaQuanda Price — trying to get details about boxes of dirty needles and whatnot. Whatever you do, do not read the comments over there. [TMZ]
• Rumor has it Michael Jackson's will is not valid because it's not notarized; but in California, a will doesn't have to be notarized. So. [TMZ]
• Speaking of doctors and celebrities with prescription problems… Elvis' doctor has a new book in which he says: "I don't regret any of the medications I gave him. They were necessities." [UPI]
• Daniel Bark, who is charged with vehicular homicide in the death of American Idol contestant Alexis Cohen, says Cohen was drunk. [TMZ]
• The Sex And The City movie sequel is having issues attempting to shoot in Dubai, probably because the UAE authorities don't like that the word "sex" is in the title. [Daily Express]
• Russell Brand "was seen being propositioned by a member of staff from naughty undercracker shop Agent Provocateur." He was in the store chatting with the young lady; and as he left, she ran after him with her phone number. In other words: Just another Wednesday. [The Sun]
• Are Lil' Kim and Scott Storch back on? [Page Six]
• "There's a better fight in the season opener of The Real Housewives of Atlanta than there was in the recent finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. [NY Daily News]
• Balthazar Getty: Back with his wife? [Daily Mail]
• The casting of Bryce Dallas Howard and the ousting of Rachelle Lefevre = Twilight dramz. [E!]
• Put it this way: Rachelle Lefevre was "stunned" that her role in Eclipse was cast with someone else. [AP]
• Bridget Moynahan will star with Aaron Eckhart in Battle: Los Angeles, a flick about a Marine platoon in a face off against aliens attacking L.A. [Variety]
• Matthew McConaughey and Eva Mendes are in talks to star in Southbound, in which he'd play a a patrol officer on the border between California and Mexico who accepts a bribe from a beautiful Mexican woman. Eva was born in Miami to Cuban-American parents but whatever. [Variety]
• Russell Crowe will star in The Next The Days, directed by Paul Haggis (Crash). Crowe will play a teacher whose wife is arrested and convicted of a murder she says she did not commit. [Variety]
• By the by, while filming Robin Hood, Russell Crowe popped into a charity shop and donated £1000. [The Sun]
• Interested in ESPN reporter Erin Andrews' 911 call? [TMZ]
• Shakira is back! Her new album and first single are called She Wolf, and the video airs tonight on MTV. You'll see her dancing in a golden cage: "It was improvisation. I went crazy," she says. "They said 'Action!' and I just started hanging from the bars. I felt so inspired, maybe because I felt like I was a living metaphor trapped inside the cage." [USA Today]
• Weird: Val Klimer owes $538,858 in unpaid taxes in New Jersey, even though he is originally from L.A. and has been living in New Mexico for the last 20 years. [TMZ]
• Audrina from The Hills has a new man, an "Aussie BMXer" named Corey Bohan. [E!]
• Gretchen Wilson plans to start her own label which, of course, she will call Redneck Records. [USA Today]
• Men At Work: Still facing plagiarism charges, from a song that was a hit in 1981. [BBC News]
• "I think it's brilliant that Leno is at 10 p.m., because America can get bored more easily and go to sleep earlier. When was the last time you heard, 'Did you hear what Leno said last night?'" — Joan Rivers. [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• "I can't wear a skirt that's too short any more. It's not that my legs are bad, it just looks silly. I feel less pressure to dress youthfully. I'm 50 and everyone knows I'm 50 – who are you kidding? Jeans are my uniform. I have about 15 pairs." — Michelle Pfeiffer. [Daily Express]
• "You just read it. Seriously. It is an incredible document. I think people either forget about it or have been taught it too early in their lives. It's a document worth reading and rereading every single year because it's the principles in that document that we should be loyal to and fight for and struggle for, rather than whichever government is in power." — Matt Damon, on making reciting the Declaration of Independence exciting for a History Channel movie. [AP]
• "I love my curves, I embrace them, but I have to walk a fine line. I think it comes down to being voluptuous, and if your body's a certain way, then things can go distasteful in a second… I love therapy! I'm very in touch with my feelings... there's nothing like going in and sitting down and talking to someone who has no emotional tie to your life." — Eva Mendes. [NY Daily News]
• "I want a part so bad. Any part's fine. I will be the vampire who carries Robert Pattinson's luggage in the airport. That is the part that I will play if they need it. I'd pass out [if I met Robert]. I can't talk about it, 'cause I'd pass out. It's because he's Edward. Listen, Edward can fly you through the forest. He's like Aladdin with vampire teeth - there's magic-carpet rides. He can sing. He can watch you sleep. He plays music. He sniffs your neck. I mean, please!" — Jennifer Love Hewitt really really really wants to be in a Twilight movie, poor thing. [MSNBC]

• According to this report, Samantha Ronson went out with Sopranos actress Drea De Matteo last night, got into a fight with Lindsay Lohan about it, and threw LL's clothes out into the street.

Can't really tell if the supposedly illustrative pictures at the link actually reflect that, but whatever. [Daily Mail]

• Oy: Rumor has it that Kevin Federline is working with VH1 on a new reality show costarring his girlfriend, Victoria Prince, and his kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Just what the world needs. [E!]
• Meanwhile, Britney's conservatorship might be coming to an end, when her tour winds down in November. She seems like she's doing pretty good, no? [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton's model-centric CW show, The Beautiful Life, will go on with or without her — which means that producers are casting a new recurring character as a Plan B., in case Mischa is not ready for filming the last week of July. [EW]
• Madonna is in Marseilles, where she visited with the victims of the stage collapse which left two dead. She met with the widow of a worker and also went to the hospital where eight injured workers are being treated. [Daily Mail]
• Burn Notice actor Jeffrey Donovan was arrested for DUI in Miami Beach. Nice stubble in the mug shot. [NY Daily News]
• Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman were seen hanging out in an upstate New York park, and "They kept stopping to make out - and they made out a lot." [Gatecrasher]
• The reporter Jon Gosselin had dinner with over the weekend often "uses her charms" to get stories, and sometimes wears wigs when she follows celebrities, so as not to be recognized. [Page Six]
• "Are Kate Gosselin and Madonna workout buddies? The Jon & Kate star has arms that mirror Madge's." [NY Daily News]
• It's official: Emma Watson will attend Brown University in the fall. [People]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy: Engaged! [Page Six]
• When Heidi Klum was followed by paparazzi as she took her kids to a NYC park last week, it was other parents at the park who were pissed: They asked the snappers to leave, and when the photographers didn't, the moms and dads threw water balloons at them. [Daily Express]
• Sienna Miller has seen her GI Joe action figure, and she is not impressed. "My doll is cross-eyed and has the biggest chin you have ever seen. Action figures are always a bit off, aren't they? Oddly enough from side on, it is definitely me but front on she looks sort of possessed." [The Sun]
• Here's a video of Katherine Heigl talking about T.R. Knight going to do Broadway now that he's not on Grey's Anatomy: "That really pisses me off," she says. [E!]
• David Beckham's coach is criticizing the player for confronting jeering fans at the first home game of the season: "We appreciate our players and fans passion for the team and the game, but we all must aim to hold ourselves to higher standards." [Mirror]
• Amy Winehouse's mom says the star is on the road to recovery: "A year ago, everyone was saying: 'Will she get through this, will she even survive?' And look at her now. We've got the old Amy back. I always knew she'd come through it. And I know she doesn't want to go back to the drugs. St Lucia was good in many ways because there were no hard drugs around, but she was bored, so she drank…She's put on a bit of weight and looks better than she has in a long time… She was busy cooking, so that's a good sign that she's actually eating. I think she's pleased to be home and I know she's happier now." [Mirror]
• Bonnie Somerville played Suzie Cavandish in Labor Pains, and she says of Lindsay Lohan: "She is supertalented. I had a great time working with her." [E!]
• A balloon company sent Jennifer Lopez a giant bouquet of balloons for her twins, which she promptly sent back. Maybe the colorful arrangement was not classy enough for Jenny from the block? [TMZ]
• Re: Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson: A source says: "Tony pulled the plug because he couldn't stand the constant heat Jessica was putting on him to get married… The final nail in the coffin was an argument they had over how to celebrate Jessica's birthday. She wanted a splashy Ken & Barbie-themed bash with all of her celebrity friends, and Tony wanted a quiet, low-key dinner for just the two of them." [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Susan Boyle will appear in an interview on the Today show tomorrow, in which she says of sudden fame: "The impact, like a demolition ball. You know, and anyone who has that kind of impact — finds it really hard to get a head around it. I guess I had to get my head around it, but through the — the guidance of a great team, and they are very good, I was able to see that in perspective and really turn that around a little." [Reuters]
• "Harry Potter's love interest rivals Emma Watson in fashion stakes… Emma Watson finally has competition as the most glamourous Harry Potter screen siren after Bonnie Wright who plays Ginny Weasley was photographed looking equally spellbinding." [Telegraph]
• Mark Lester, godfather of Michael Jackson's children, claims that after the memorial service, 7-year-old Blanket Jackson seemed confused about what was going on. "It is obvious to me that Blanket is still unsure about what exactly happened to his father.He said, 'Where's Daddy gone? On holiday?' It was a rhetorical question and it broke my heart." [Mirror]
• The Jackson family is still "agonizing" over the decision of where to bury the King of Pop, but his body is "temporarily interred" at Forest Lawn Memorial-Park and Mortuary in Los Angeles. [People]
• Joe Jackson was on Larry King Live, where he seemed to blame Dr. Conrad Murray for Michael Jackson's death: "The doctor gave him something to make him rest, and then he don't wake up no more. Something is wrong there," Joe said. [AP]
• Another report claiming that Katherine Jackson is being manipulated to dispute Michael's will. [TMZ]
• Joe Jackson says the rumor that he wants to take Michael's kids on tour as the Jackson 3 is "a bunch of jive." And when asked if he was abusive to Michael when he was a kid, he said: "That's a bunch of bull S." [CNN]
• August 29 would have been Michael Jackson's 51st birthday, and there may be two tribute concerts at London's O2 Arena in August to celebrate. [TMZ]
• Russell Brand. Goat farming. [RussellBrand.TV]
• Ciara is on the cover of Social Life magazine, but she skipped the party for the isue in East Hampton because she had a chance to go into the studio with Justin Timberlake. Social Life editor Devorah Rose has a much lengthier explanation, which you can read at the link if you wish. [Observer]
• There was some chaos at Chace Crawford's birthday party because the prettyboy didn't want to pose for photos. What the hell are we going to paste in our scrapbooks, hmm? [Page Six]
• Will Lizzie Grubman be on Real Housewives Of New York? Short answer: No. [Page Six]
• Jorja Fox: Returning to CSI. [UPI]
• Nicolas Cage is in talks to play the villain in The Green Hornet. Cameron Diaz is negotiating to play a reporter and love interest; Seth Rogen will star. [Variety]
• Uma Thurman will star in Girl Soldier, an indie film about a cleric who helped rescue 140 schoolgirls abducted in Uganda. [Variety]
• "Tyler Perry is paying for 65 children from a Philadelphia day camp to go to Walt Disney World after reading about allegations that a suburban swim club had shunned them because of racism." [AP]
• Ryan O'Neal says he is dealing with Farrah Fawcett's death by answering condolence notes from her fans. [UPI]
• Ryan O'Neal is also spilling about what Redmond O'Neal's last words were to his mother Farrah Fawcett on her death bed, which is maybe a little too intimate. [People]
• Marissa Jaret Winokur is still blogging her "weight-loss journey," although this week, it's "I Fell Off the Diet Wagon." Tons and tons of candy, thanks to her son's first birthday party. [People]
• Jamie Waylett, who plays Vincent Crabbe in the Harry Potter movies, has been ordered to do 120 hours of community service after admitting to growing 10 cannabis plants at his mother's house. [Daily Mail]
• "Bruce Lee's older sister and younger brother have authorized a Chinese company to make a series of biographical films about the late kung fu icon, saying they want to produce a historically accurate account of their brother's life." [AP]
• Whatshisname says he and Whatshername don't let the kids see them fight. [Mirror]
• Whatshisname fell off a stage, btw. [Daily Mail]
• Blind item! "Which indie starlet secretly has a house decorated entirely with Alice in Wonderland paraphernelia?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I would daydream about it all the time. I thought about the fact that there were children who didn't have anything, and I felt like I could help. It was something that weighed on me. It was something I did for the world and for my son and then for me." — Mary Louise Parker always knew she would adopt someday. [People]
• "It was fun. It was a new experience for me just to take my clothes off on camera. So to be able to scream, to be hysterical, to act out all that suffering and all those tears… well, it's not something you get to do every day." — Charlotte Gainsbourg, on controversial and violent film Antichrist. [Telegraph]
• "I'd like to go on record that he is a gentleman. He has not touched me in a bad place once." — Judd Apatow, on Russell Brand. [Mirror]
• "It's a coincidence. It's from a book called Once is Not Enough by Jacqueline Susann. Bad book… People think that I changed my name. I could've been an actress, a superhero, or a stripper." — January Jones, on her name and being born in January. Also, click to see her on the cover of Interview! [JustJared via Interview]
• "The double-edged sword of working with family is it can be the most fulfilling experience you've ever had, but the flip side is it can also be the most tortuous and most stressful, because it's your family and the lines can get blurry." — Shaun Cassidy, who, along with brothers Ryan, David and Patrick, is starring in a new ABC Family show, Ruby & The Rockits. [LA Times]
• "Stand-up is good when you're rolling. When it goes down you feel like 'why the hell did I come here?' and the same thing in acting. If it's not clicking you feel like an ass." — Adam Sandler. [Mirror]
• "This project was rife with opportunities for me to fuck it up enormously and, by doing so, prove my own limitations. To botch the whole thing would have been calamitous." — Hugh Dancy, on Adam, the film about a man with Asperger's. [BlackBook]
• "I see a lot myself in him, he is a Cancer, just like I am. I would love to meet him. He makes me smile just when I see him." — Lil' Kim on Nelson Mandela. [Mirror]

[New York, July 18. Image via WENN.]

1.) "Lick It Before You Stick It" - Denise Lasalle, 2000
A Taste: "You're makin' her feel good, but you can make her feel better/ If you treat your lady like a stamp and a letter"

2.) "Downtown" - SWV, 1992
A Taste: "Go downtown/ To taste the sweetness"

3.) "Not Tonight" - Lil' Kim, 1996
A Taste: "I don't want dick tonight/ Eat my pussy right"

4.) "My Neck, My Back" - Khia, 2002
A Taste: "My neck, my back/ Lick my pussy and my crack"

5.) "Put It In Your Mouth" - Akinyele, 1996
A Taste: "Or you just could eat me out"

6.) "I Luv" - Too $hort featuring Trick Daddy, Scarface & Daz, 2001
A Taste: "I luv gettin' my pussy ate"

7.) "Candy" - Foxy Brown featuring Kelis, 2001
A Taste: "Let me know when you're ready to eat"

8.) "J.O.D.D." - Trick Daddy featuring Trina, 2004
A Taste: "Sucka suck on da clit/ Just suck on da clit"

9.)"Sugar" - Bikini Kill, 1993
A Taste: "What are you afraid of?"

10.) "Work It" - Missy Elliott, 2002
A Taste: "You do or you don't or you will or you won't cha/ Go downtown and eat it like a vulcha"

11.) "Face" - Rick Ross featuring Trina, 2009
A Taste: "Sittin' at the green light/ 'Cause I'm gettin' face."

12.) "Tongue Song" - Trina, 2000
A Taste: "Head like wut wut wut/ Hands all on my butt butt butt/ Ya need to lick it again c'mon"

13.) "How Many Licks" - Lil' Kim, 2001
A Taste: "Roll some weed with some tissue and close your eyes/ Then imagine your tongue in between my thighs"

14.) "Any Time, Any Place" - Janet Jackson, 1994
A Taste: "I can feel your hand moving up my thighs/ Skirt around my waist/ Wall against my face/ I can feel your lips"

15.) "Lick It" - 20 Fingers, 1995
A Taste: "You gotta lick it/ Before we kick it"

16.) "Glory" - Liz Phair, 1993
A Taste: "You are, you are shining some glory on me"

17.) "Red Light Special" - TLC, 1994
A Taste: "Take a good look at it/ Look at it now"

18.) "Where Life Begins" - Madonna, 1992
A Taste: "Dining in and eating out/ I guess that's what this song's about"

19.) "Twist" - Goldfrapp, 2003
A Taste: "Put your dirty angel face/ Between my legs"

20.) "Bliss" - Mariah Carey, 1999
A Taste: "Take it down low/ Make me get high"

• Lindsay Lohan's spoof singles video doubled as an ad for her leggings line and self-tanner. [WWD]
• And Zooey Deschanel wrote and performed a ditty about cotton  the fabric of our lives! [Videogum]

• Could Madonna be returning for another season's duty as the face of Louis Vuitton? Rumors say this fall's campaign will maintain both her Madgesty and photographer Steven Meisel. [Fashionologie]
• Eddie Van Halen is launching a namesake sneaker, the EVH. They look exactly like chucks. [WWD]
• Not to be outdone, Puma and Yves Saint Laurent have released a sneaker. (Puma also did kicks for Alexander McQueen and Sergio Rossi, which are both, like YSL, brands owned by parent company PPR, which makes sense since Puma is itself part-owned by the luxury goods giant.) The shoes are surprisingly...ugly. The toe box looks like one of those godawful Clarks Wallabee shoes that came briefly into fashion and set the bar of taste low enough for Crocs to duck under shortly thereafter. I had a friend who called those shoes with that terrible toe "piss-catchers." Which was accurate. [WWD]
• Diane Pernet reports on a rumor "from a very good source" that ex-Nina Ricci designer Olivier Theyskens will be brought in to revive the house of Elsa Schiaparelli. Which would be a much better fit for Theyskens than Halston, which was last week's rumor. [ASOF]
• Georgina Chapman, otherwise known as the co-founder of Marchesa and Mrs. Harvey Weinstein, says she made her own wedding gown. "I didn't finish my dress until about three days before my wedding  I had the flu and was stitching it from my bed," she told New York. Her only advice for the "impulsive" bride who might choose one of her $3,100-$6,500 dresses off the rack on her way to the registry office, is that she make sure she can walk in it. [NYMag]
• Same-store sales at H&M, the world's third-largest apparel retailer by revenue, fell 3% in the month of March. Sales at fast fashion chains had been more resilient in this downturn than the figures for department and boutique stores; this drop took analysts surprise. [WSJThe thing about this economy is that there's always ample evidence business could be worse: Levi's earnings fell 50.5% last quarter. [WWD]
• The Texas-based private investment group that took J. Crew public three years ago has sold its last remaining shares in the troubled retailer. J. Crew's share price has fallen more than 60% in the past year. [Crain's]
• Duncan Quinn, the brand whose last ad featured a man strangling a nearly naked woman on the hood of a car, went for restraint this season. The new campaign is a man holding a sawed-off shotgun. [Racked]
• Tory Burch and David Yurman are now ratified members of the Council of Fashion Designers of America board. [WWD]

• Has Britney Spears "fallen" for her backup dancer, Chase Benz?

A source says: "Brit really loves the way Chase looks, and she has a thing for Southern boys with loads of charm. She's totally into him. And being on tour again, plus having a sexy new guy to get close to, has put Brit in a great frame of mind." And that metal codpiece is just a bonus! [Daily Mail]

• Chris Brown denies that he has a new girlfriend. A source says that he and the lady in question "met recently. They're friends. That's it." [People]
• Amy Winehouse heard that hubs Blake Fielder-Civil got some other woman pregnant, and she is working on a song about it! The tune, called "The Ultimate Betrayal," goes: "Blake a baby, no, no, no." A source says, "It's very haunting." And by that you mean familiar and repetitive? [The Sun]
• This story seems mildly preposterous but here it is: John Mayer used to tell Jessica Simpson: "I'm really attracted to your spiritual side." A source says: "He'd tell her that every time she opened her mouth to speak. It was a nice way of basically saying, 'Just sit there and be pretty, and don't ruin it with talk.' The sad thing is she started to tell people, 'I'm working on being more spiritual,' and then just sit there quietly." [Page Six]
• In a Vanity Fair poll, 58% of respondents named Angelina Jolie "the most beautiful woman in the world." Gisele was a distant second with 9% of the vote. And what is the point of pitting women to compete against each other in a completely subjective competition again? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Madonna's former nanny was on Australian TV saying things like Madonna is a "fantastic mother" and so this column wonders if she is still on the payroll. [MSNBC]
• Apparently Lil' Kim's top nearly dropped on during a jive on Dancing With The Stars; she told a reporter after the show: "I don't know why this happens a lot of the time, but ... the girls were tryin' to come out." [AP]
• Deaf actress Marlee Matlin spoke to Joy Behar about sexual abuse, drugs and her volatile relationship with actor William Hurt; the transcript is up. She was molested by a babysitter at age 11; she was molested again by a teacher at age 14 and of her relationship with William Hurt, she says, "there was violence." [CNN]
• Meryl Streep plays Julia Child in the new flick Julie & Julia, but how did the 5 foot 6 actress play the 6 foot 2 chef? "Meryl believed that in order to capture the essence of the character, you had to believe Julia Child is 6-foot-2," says writer/director Nora Ephron. "Actually, our ambitions were more modest. We made her 6 feet. We used a whole bunch of fabulous tricks. Everything we could think of. Ann Roth did amazing things with costumes." [USA Today]
• Former Fugees star Wyclef Jean was the target of an assassination plot in Haiti. "They had a plot to assassinate me, but it obviously didn't go down. I take what I do very seriously, but I fear nothing... except my mamma." [Daily Express]
• Eminem's path back to the spotlight continues: He'll perform at the MTV Movie Awards next month. [UPI]
• Zac Efron is super adorbs on the cover of GQ, and inside he talks about getting advice from Leonardo DiCaprio: "He said, 'There's one way that you can really fuck this all up. Just do heroin.'" [People]
• Goop poop: Gwyneth Paltrow wants another baby. "At first I thought 'OK, that's it, I'm done, no way will I have more.' Then my son turned two and you think, 'Oh, I don't want this to be the last two-year-old I have. Maybe I'll do one more." The real question is, what will she name the sibling of Apple and Moses? Eden? Plum? Cain? Abel? Jesus? [The Sun]
• By the by, Gwyneth threw Moses a superhero-themed party in Los Angeles over the weekend. [Mirror]
• Guess who else wants another kid? Jessica Alba. We know this because she was shopping for real estate with her husband and wanted a place big enough for another baby. Says a source. [Ok!]
• Real Housewife LuAnn De Lesseps has been invited by Judge Lynn Toler to appear on Divorce Court. Is it classy enough for the Countess? [NY Daily News]
• ANTM hottie Nigel Barker wants you to know about baby seals being clubbed to death in Canada: "It's not a hunt, it's a massacre on the ice. Its barbaric." [NY Post]
• In this video, Hugh Jackman and Daniel Henney woo ladies on a Korean TV show in the most hilarious ways. [YouTube]
• After the director of the brand made what Jay-Z thought was a racist remark, Jay started boycotting Cristal and supporting Armand de Brignac champagne instead. Now Armand De Brignac is selling out its entire production run of 60,000 bottles. [Independent]
• Oooh: Lily Allen was the secret voice of Atomic Kitten, when she was 14 years old. [The Sun]
• Your friend Kanye West was supposed to be arraigned on misdemeanor charges  he's accused of breaking a paparazzo's flash last September  but his court date has been delayed until May. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Mel Gibson was heard telling people at the Roman Catholic church he had built in 2005: "Well, she's filed for divorce." [People]
• Jamie Foxx's Sirius radio show, The Foxxhole, spent a good minute and a half making fun of Miley Cyrus, calling her "that little white bitch," "the one with all the gums," who needs to "get like Britney Spears and do some heroin" or "go get chlamydia from a bicycle seat." Charming. [Perez]
• Prince William made a mistake in a £1 million Royal Airforce plane during training  flipping the wrong switch and "overcooking" the engine  but apparently the plane is fine and the prince is fine and everything is fine. [Daily Mail]
• Not that you care, but Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are on the rocks and argue all the time. [Gatecrasher]
• Jenna Jameson has blogged about giving birth to her twins, Jesse Jameson and Journey Jette. She says: "I truly believe the 500 sit ups a day paid off. I was able to push my 5 pound Jesse out in 5 pushes." [ONTD]
• Lost star Josh Holloway and wife Yessica are the proud new parents of a baby girl named Java Kumala Holloway. [People]
• Animal guy Jeff Corwin is getting a show on the Food Network. He'll travel the world, meet with natives, sample "exotic" foods and learn about local customs. Kind of like Anthony Bourdain does? [EW]
• Is it the hair, the eyes or the mouth that make Phil Spector's mug shot so creepy? [TMZ]
• The high school in Kalama, Washington which was used in the filming of Twilight has become a tourist attraction. Fans have come from as far as Germany to visit the parking lot. What a world. [AP]
• The late George Harrison of the Beatles will get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. [Mirror]
• Blind item! "Which young songbird not only had lipo on her stomach, but even got the "back fat" sucked out from under her bra line?" [Gatecrasher]
• "You haven't responded to my emails, phone calls and text messages. You say you look at my website, so I'm trying to reach you that way. I want to see you and your family – in private, like the 'normal family' you say always wanted."  Candy Spelling, to Tori Spelling, on CandySpelling.com. [People]
• "I hate the internet. I find it dehumanising to constantly check emails or social sites which have become so fashionable. I'm not a celebrity. I don't go home or out with friends saying I'm a celebrity and I don't ask to be treated like a queen. Mum and dad wouldn't like that."  Keira Knightley. [The Sun]
• "I wasn't programmed by Disney. It's common sense. If you're gonna be drunk with your friends, don't get wasted at the Chateau Marmont and hook up with some famous chick. It's not rocket science."  Zac Efron. [People]
• "I like going to England. Women in England are really racy. Very very  uh  very fast. Very very nice. I like it."  Danny DeVito. [Mirror]
• "The movie poster should say, 'Starring Meryl Streep, Amy Adams and boeuf bourguignon.' My car crashes are burnt stews. You cannot begin to imagine how much eating there was, how much food. There was a huge kitchen on a soundstage with two fantastic people in it. Whenever a dish had to be made for the movie, they had to do at least seven of them. And there were always several left over."  Nora Ephron, on her new movie about Julia Child, Julie & Julia. [USA Today]
• "Age holds absolutely no fear for me. There is so much enjoyment ahead. Sophia [Loren] is 74 and amazing – every time I talk to her, she's full of wonderful stories about old actors."  Penelope Cruz. [People]
• "It's all about a woman's reproductive cycle and how we become fertile in terms of bearing children at a young age and then at a certain point in life we are no longer fertile in that sense. I think women can be at their most creative, their most dynamic, when their biological fertility cycle is over. So that's basically what that's all about. Just when I thought it's all over for me, I find myself in the most exciting, creative time of my entire life."  Kathie Lee Gifford, on her new book, Just When I Thought I'd Dropped My Last Egg. [Time]

• Lindsay Lohan continued her post-breakup bender by hitting three clubs last night and throwing eggs at X17 photographers. [Us]

• As for Samantha Ronson, while her family has been publicly insulting Lindsay, she wants to take the high road. "Sam broke up with Lindsay, but it doesn't mean she hates her or wants to see her hurt any worse than she is," says a source. "She is over Lindsay and over all the drama, but still, she refuses to trash-talk her. She just wants to walk away gracefully." [People]
• Billy Bob Thornton is refusing to apologize for his immature behavior during a Canadian radio interview. He said he's only sorry for saying that playing for Canadian audiences was like "mashed potatoes without the gravy" because he meant to diss the interviewer, not all Canadians. [TMZ]
• Billy Bob Thornton is so passionate about not using his acting fame to promote his band that it states in his rider that the band should be credited as "Billy Bob Thornton And Special Guests The Boxmasters" [The Smoking Gun]
• A judge has ruled that Redmond O'Neal violated his probation and may be sentenced to three years in state prison. He was ordered to remain in court without bail until he is sentenced on April 17. [E!, People]
• Marc Jacobs kept Lil' Kim in high spirits during her 10 month prison stay. "He's one of my best friends and was actually a huge supporter when I was in prison," she said. "He wrote me every week! "I decided to buy a coloring book – I'm a huge Bratz fan – and I painted the Bratz and made them all wear Marc Jacobs, and sent it to him. He blew it up and framed it, and now it's hanging in his house. So Marc Jacobs is the best." [Style List]
• Check out Beyonce's new video for "Halo" in which she makes out with Halle Berry's ex, Michael Ealy. [The Sun]
• Debra Opri, the lawyer who helped Larry Birkhead win custody of his daughter with Anna Nicole Smith says that he never paid her, so now she's taking him to court. [Anna Nicole and Howard Stern.com]
• David Caruso is responding to claims by the mother of his two children that he is refusing to give her the $1 million that he promised her. His rep says: "Last month David became concerned about the welfare of his children and sought court assistance to redefine David's and Liza's custodial schedules. It now appears that Liza has decided to retaliate by raising false claims against David, which David finds unfortunate since these claims will divert the parties' and the court's attention away from the best interests of the children." [Radar Online]
• The film version of Tom Wolfe's The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test will hit theaters in 2010. [Rolling Stone]
• Lily Allen was supposed to chat with fans at a meet and greet after her show in Denver last night but she was too wasted. [Perez Hilton]
• Eighteen thousand Taipei Oasis fans got so excited to see the band that they made the walls of the venue rattle throughout the show. Noel Gallagher blogged: "So that was a bit mad. 18,000 people. Upstairs. On the 2nd floor of a huge exhibition centre. You could feel the building shake during Rock 'N' Roll Star. Scary fun." [The Daily Express]
• Lo Bosworth says "everything is fine" between Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag, but "the next few episodes will be a bit of back and forth." It's almost as if the producers want the girls to continue fighting! [People]
• Matthew Perry is not appearing on the series finale of Lost. It's just another rumor concocted to drive fans nuts. [L.A. Times]
• At a concert over the weekend Katy Perry changed the lyrics to "You're So Gay," to: "I'm so mean 'cause I cannot get you out of your head. I'm so angry 'cause you'd rather Twitter instead. I can't believe I fell in John Mayer!" [Perez Hilton]
• Katy Perry said they tabloids exaggerated when they said she and Rihanna bonded after the Chris Brown assault. "I don't think I really, like, reached out to her," Perry said. "We've hung out a couple times. ... Of course I consider her a friend, but it's not like 'I'm there,' making a big deal of it, because I feel weird about that type of stuff. I'm trying to always be there for my friends. She's a really cool chick. I love her style. ... She's one of those unaffected people." [MTV]
• The French translation of a novel Hugh Laurie wrote in 1996, The Gun Seller was number one on France's best seller list last month. [UPI]
• In a statement to fans, Billy Corgan says he's still going to perform under the name The Smashing Pumpkins, even though three quarters of the original band members are no longer with the group. He says: "The simple answer is that when I decided to write and record again under the name the Smashing Pumpkins in 2005, I committed myself 100 pct. 100pct of my mind-body-soul to come back and make the band really be great again, and I feel in tune to SP in a way I haven't felt in tune probably since 1995 or 1996. As they say in No Limit Poker, I'm ‘all in'. I'm not going to back out of the challenge in front of me now." [Rolling Stone]
• In an interview about his movie 17 Again which is supposed to be his transition to adult roles, Zac Efron got flustered and told the interviewer, "I'm trying to figure out what you want me to say. What do you want me to say?" [USA Weekend]
• Sigourney Weaver isn't sure if she filed her taxes or not. "This year I worked in so many different countries, I'm not sure they're all done. You have to file different files when you work in different countries. I'm not quite sure how all that happens," she said. [New York Magazine]
• In this interview, Dan Aykroyd explains what's going on with the Ghostbusters video game and the third installment of the movie. He says the animation in the game looks like that in The Incredibles and Sigourney Weaver won't participate in the video game, but has agreed to be in Ghostbusters III. [Newsweek]

[Los Angeles, March 25. Image via WENN.]

• Lindsay Lohan won't be in court today to respond to a warrant for her arrest, but her lawyer will be there. The attorney claims it's all a misunderstanding, to which we say: Sure, sure. [AP]

• Lindsay Lohan's dad is "concerned" for his daughter: "I've said it before and I'll say it again  she has to be careful of the people around her. I worry about any of those negative elements in her life." Is one of those negative elements you, sir? [Extra]
• Lindsay Lohan's warrant seems to be due to her missing or being late to one of her alcohol education classes, which she must take as part of her probation. LL blames the paparazzi for making it impossible to show up on time. [TMZ]
• Six women were injured and three people were arrested and charged with inciting a riot at the America's Next Top Model stampede on Saturday. [NY Post]
• Lily Allen has filed charges against photographers who allegedly rear-ended her car; this comes after she punched one of the dudes. [E!]
• Here are pictures of Mel Gibson "frolicking in the surf" in Costa Rica with a woman who is not his wife. [Daily Mail, RadarOnline]
• Jennifer Aniston is telling friends she dumped John Mayer after he "went cold" after the Oscars. Sound like he did the passive-aggressive breakup thing. [The Sun]
• Rihanna may star in a remake of the Whitney Houston/Kevin Costner flick The Bodyguard? Why, Hollywood, why? [Gatecrasher]
• This is interesting: The Rihanna/Chris Brown duet was just an old demo. "Nothing has been recorded by Chris and Rihanna since February," says an unnamed source. [NY Daily News]
• Twilight's Robert Pattinson was overheard telling a fellow Brit, "I can't get laid [in N.Y.C.]" Sparkly vampires are so last year. [Gatecrasher]
• Pattinson had to "do all this naked stuff" for a man-on-man sex scene for his new Dali movie. He admits: "In a lot of ways, I was kind of crossing lines of what I thought I was comfortable doing." [Mirror]
• Drew Barrymore and Justin Long were seen making out at a bar in Hollywood one night, and laughing and smiling while eating sushi the next. That is not a euphemism. They're back on! [Just Jared]
• The first of Nadya Suleman's octuplets could be home tomorrow. [People]
• Ryan Reynolds says it took months and months to prepare for his role in Wolverine: "When you think about it like that, it's vaguely depressing," he says. "But when you actually do it, it's worth it when you see on the screen that's me and it's not a stunt person, and I'm doing the whole thing." [LA Times]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's trainer, Tracy Anderson, is having trouble getting people to join her gym. Maybe because membership is $4,500 a month? [Perez]
• Tracy Anderson says of her pupils, "Madonna never slacks off. She's like a gym nerd. Gwyneth is cheekier than Madonna, that's for sure. Some days she'll be like, 'Do I have to do cardio?'" [Mirror]
• This report claims Madonna works out so hard and and gets regular glyco peels on her face because she wants to look like her daughter. Yeah, right. [Daily Express]
• Speaking of Madonna, her new man, Jesus Luz, is moving in. [Mirror]
• And! He is macrobiotic now, thanks to her Madgesty. [Daily Mail]
• Meanwhile, clashing schedules mean Gwyneth Paltrow and husband Chris Martin won't see each other for weeks. Alert the media! [Daily Mail]
• Is there a cash prize on Dancing With The Stars? Because Lil' Kim owes $1 million in state and federal taxes, ouch. [UPI]
• Check out this profile of Paul Rudd, in which he says: "I went through a phase where I thought it was really funny to make pratfalls in very crowded places. And I jumped out of a moving car once for a laugh. That was a mistake." [NY Times]
• The promoter behind Michael Jackson's upcoming concerts says "He's 50 but he's going to dance his ass off." Also: "If Mike gets too nervous to go on, I'll throw him over my shoulder and carry him on stage. He's light enough." [Telegraph]
• There's already a Michael Jackson ticket-scalping scandal. [WSJ]
• And! Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch is about to be sold. [Fox 411]
• "Rob Lowe has been carpeted by bosses for being too orange." [The Sun]
• Robin Thicke will be touring with Jennifer Hudson and says that the tour will be "cathartic" for her. "I think it's going to be the perfect thing for her to do, to get out there and get outside her head and feel the love she's been getting. She's a special lady." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Gossip Girl's Jessica Szohr dropped by the set just to say hi to her boyf, Ed Westwick. [Gatecrasher]
• Kristen Stewart's gushing about the new Twilight movie: "To see them cope without each other and to see this character Jacob, who is supposed to represent light and warmth and he pulls her out of a rut that's like seemingly impossible  it's really tragic. Like, I can't wait to see Taylor's [Lautner] face when I tell him, 'It's him, it's always been him,'" she says. [LA Times]
• Keira Knightley will not be in the next Pirates Of The Caribbean flick, saying: "It was a completely fantastic experience, and it was an amazingly large portion of my life, but I don't think I need to go there again. I think that it's done." So who will be the leading lady in the film? We need to know, since Russell Brand may be playing Johnny Depp's brother! [Mirror]
• This profile of Kat Von D has a quote from a 12-year-old fan, who says: "I like how she says her tattoos are everything she's been through." [WaPo]
• Whoa, Rhys Ifans looks totally different and dare we say hot in these pictures. When he was dating Sienna Miller he looked like a vagrant. [Daily Mail]
• Rumors about Liz Hurley's marriage continue to circle; today it's that she is "more like a boss than a wife." Wait, is that bad? [Daily Mail]
• Liz Hurley's mother-in-law denies the rumors that Liz and her husband have broken up: "This is just gossip. That's all I can say. I don't like commenting on family matters in public." [Telegraph]
• Charlie Sheen's wife had twins Saturday night; the first kids for her and Charlie's fourth and fifth. [Star]
• Heather Mills bought a seafood restaurant in Hove, East Sussex, and plants on making it vegan. [Daily Mail]
• MC Hammer is being sued for not delivering a book on fatherhood to his publisher. Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em. [Mirror]
• What's cooking with Gordon Ramsay? He has been taken to court over unpaid debts three times in a month. [Daily Mail]
• British reality star Jade Goody is "near death." Do you get the feeling the papers are circling like vultures? [NY Times]
• Aww, the movie industry nursing home is closing by the end of the year. [UPI]
• R.I.P. Ron Silver, whom you may have known as Bruno Gianelli on The West Wing. [NY Post]
• Blind item! "Which songbird's hard-up husband is having a hard time paying off her $500,000 engagement ring? He tried to stiff the jeweler and when finally threatened with a lawsuit, said he'd pay - on an installment plan." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which rehabbed starlet's wallet turned up in the Financial District, with her driver's license, black American Express card and several bags of blow?" [Gatecrasher]
• "Nine months ago at the conception I pulled all my best moves - I used new style. Apparently it's all about temperature so the windows were open. We'll see what happens."  Jamie Oliver, who is hoping his unborn child will be a boy. [The Sun]
• "I don't think there was one dinner that I ever cooked my kids that wasn't burnt because I was always on the phone, because teatime came when America was buzzing. When it was noon in New York, it would be 5pm at home in England, and the phone would be going nuts. You know, they go on about women juggling, well, my theory is that something always has to give, and, in my case, it was my kids."  Sharon Osbourne. [Daily Mail]
• "I find that word so unconstrained and unsophisticated. I don't know if you are referring to The Sun newspaper's Shagger Of The Year title, which I've been awarded three consecutive times now. It ranks among my finest achievements along with my British comedy awards and other accolades. I continue to live as a single man might but I certainly don't do anything as vulgar as shagging."  Russell Brand, on being called a champion shagger. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "Children are so cute and talkative when you get them out of bed, vulnerable blabbermouths, but when they get older they talk less. As the days fly past, it's only going to be a few more years that he likes me. Maybe he'll always love me, but he might not always want to be around me – he might not always like me. He's borderline embarrassed by me already, so…"  Sarah Jessica Parker, on spending time helping her son get dressed in the morning. [Daily Mail]
• "Finding someone that you like, or who likes you, is always difficult at my age. But being famous complicates things much more. I suppose that some boys feel a bit intimidated by me and stay on their guard."  Emma Watson, who is about to turn 19. [Telegraph]
• "My teeth are capped and I had the fat removed from under my chin. That's basically why I have the goatee because it covers the scar. And my nose was straightened. Then they took the heaviness out of my eyelids. Thank God the plastic surgeon said you've got to be careful, you've still got to look like you. But I've stopped dying my hair, that's it now. I never did it before because it would have been a salt-and-pepper look, which wasn't good. But the older I've got, the whiter my hair has got and I like it."  Tom Jones. [Mirror]
• "I never watch my [movies]. I make an album and then maybe 10 years later, I hear a thing or two. If I walk into somebody's house or a department store, I always say, 'Can you please turn that off?' Because I spend so much time on it, before it's released, that once it's released it's on its own. I really don't want to listen to it."  Barbra Streisand. (Yentl is now on DVD!) [Newsweek]
• "I want to very badly. But I want to get it right. We are definitely on band practice. There are a lot of performances in the movie."  Kristen Stewart, on singing while playing Joan Jett in new movie Runaways. [LA Times]
• "How this IVF rumor started, I really, really have no idea. But I can tell you that it is definitely not happening in the near future…It's great that Ellen and I are a gay couple and people are open-minded enough to talk about us having a family. The only thing I'm trying to avoid by denying it is, I just don't want those horrible pictures in magazines where they circle your stomach and point and go 'baby bump!' "  Portia de Rossi. [LA Times]
• "I went to a pitch meeting for a show last year and the guy in the office asked me why is it that people do drag? And I said why is it that more people don't do drag? What in our culture keeps us from dressing up and using all the colors in the creative box? The answer to that question is we grow up in a fear culture that says blacks go there, and Jews go there, and it's really interesting that we inflict these margins and parameters on our lives. I have to credit drag with helping me tear down a lot of those walls. Once you tear down one wall its like, you know what, we could have a really great room if we tore down all of these."  RuPaul. [The Daily Beast]
• "Bad behaviour makes men more glamorous. Women get destroyed, thrown out of society and locked up in institutions. My mother had me locked up in an insane asylum the first time I told her I was doing drugs. A really heavy place. Mick [Jagger] came and got me out."  Marianne Faithfull. [Telegraph]

• Video: Samantha Ronson peels out of a Vegas club parking lot. A minute later, Lindsay Lohan emerges, saying, "Did she leave? She fucking left? Where's my car? I want my fucking keys now." [TMZ]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but: Brad Pitt! And the nanny?!?! "Angelina flew into a jealous rage when she walked past the open bedroom door of 8-month-old twins, Knox and Vivienne - and didn't like what she saw! And it's not surprising, for Brad was on the bed, rubbing the back of a pretty young nanny! Angie got so mad she slapped Brad and fired the girl on the spot!" [Star]
• Speaking of Brad and Angie, E! donated $250,000 to the Jolie-Pitt Foundation last year. They probably thought it would get them not-snubbed on the red carpet; the money went to Brad's Make It Right Foundation in New Orleans and three different UN organizations working in Darfur. [Fox 411]
• George Clooney got drunk and was seen stumbling back to his hotel in St. Louis. [Gatecrasher]
• Hmm, Sean "Diddy" Combs says he did Chris Brown and Rihanna a "favor" by letting them stay at his house. "It's my house, and I'm allowed to give my house to whoever I want to give my house to," Diddy told Ellen. "I don't cast a stone – cast judgment on anybody. So, if friends ask me for a favor, then I'm going to be there for a favor as long as I know the energy of the favor is positive." He also said: "I don't think it's right for anybody to hit anybody." [People]
• The father of Chris Brown's manager, Tina Davis, says of the speculation that Chris and Tina were having a romantic relationship is just" old rumors." [E!]
• Hey, guess who's not going to the Kids' Choice Awards? Chris Brown. [People]
• Miley Cyrus says she's not ready to move in with her 20-year-old boyfriend: "I love him to death…but no…[Justin] is so smart, but just like, everything has to, like, go where it's supposed to go and if it doesn't, I get like really frustrated." Uh, what? [Page Six]
• So on Dancing With Stars, Lil Kim gave her former fellow inmates a shoutout. The Scoop asks, "Is it possible for inmates to vote for Dancing With the Stars, but not for the president?" A spokesperson from prison says: "The inmates cannot dial toll-free numbers." And there's no internet. So. [MSNBC Scoop]
• This piece, titled "Octomom Spurs Media Madness" is about how Oprah and Dr. Phil saw ratings jump with Nadya Suleman-themed shows. [Variety]
• Oh, of course TMZ's Harvey Levin has seen the tape of Nadya Suleman giving birth. Jeez. He says the "friend" filming was "annoying the doctors and nurses by getting in the way." [TMZ]
• Holy crap: PETA vice president Dan Mathews shook hands with Anna Wintour. [Page Six]
• The French are mad at Carla Bruni for showing up at a Mexican state dinner wearing "a dazzling array" of diamonds  her husband, President Nicolas Sarkozy, was in Mexico to discuss the world recession. Anyway, they're calling her Marie Antoinette. [Gatecrasher]
• There's an interesting interview with Katy Perry on Esquire's site, and at the top of the web browser frame are the words "Katy Perry Naked - Hot Pics Of Katy Parry[sic] Topless." She is neither naked nor topless. [esquire]
• Someone somewhere claims that Mischa Barton didn't want to audition for the new Melrose Place but to just be given a role. In the end she had to go through the casting process like anyone else, sigh. Tough times! [Perez]
• Meanwhile, word is that Ashlee Simpson is doing Melrose because she wants something stable so she can be close to her baby. [People]
• The American Idol "dialing disaster" was averted, hopefully. You know Anoop's original phone number was a sex line, right? [People]
• Geri Halliwell has said ciao to her Italian fiancé. [The Sun]
• Does Amy Winehouse want to work on a TV quiz show? And more important: Wouldn't you watch? [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse has been updating her Facebook page to say things like "Nothing is worth as much as Blake," and "Where's my oblivious Blakey Boy?" For some reason, this is "news." [The Sun]
• "Hundreds of women in skimpy two-pieces will gather Saturday on the shore in Miami Beach and spell out the word C-O-S-M-O for an aerial photograph to be featured in the August issue." For Cosmopolitan, that classy publication. [Page Six]
• Hulk Hogan needs cash. His lawyers are trying to get some assets unfrozen; the Hulkster had back surgery and won't be able to work for awhile. [AP]
• Q: Are you busy? A: I'm trying to be busy. It's not so easy. Everyone thinks I'm dead.  From an interview with Lauren Bacall. [Houston Chronicle]
• Oy: Matt Lucas, co-creator of Little Britain, is working on a Jewish sitcom. [Telegraph]
• Jade Goody, the Brit celeb diagnosed with cervical cancer and given weeks to live, has left the hospital to be home with her husband and kids. [BBC News]
• Sir Paul McCartney's show in Las Vegas is already sold out, sorry. Tickets were gone seven seconds after going on sale. [Mirror]
• Blind item: "Which Celebrity Apprentice was such a boozebag behind the scenes that all alcohol had to be removed from the set?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I wasn't, quote, 'dropped' from the movie. I resigned from the movie because I didn't think I had enough time to achieve the look of the wrestler who was on steroids, which I would never do."  Nicolas Cage, on The Wrestler. Then he said: "The movie was written for Mickey. And, for whatever reason, they couldn't get the financing for the movie back then."
• "Fortunately I haven't had any break-ups. This is my first relationship. I'm very, very happy, that's all I'll say. We were together for a really long time before we got married, we were in no rush."  Beyoncé. [The Star]
• "I always wanted to suspend from the ceiling in a twirling banana. I'm going to be inside the banana. So the banana drops into a fruit bowl with the other sparkling, glorious fruit, and their tops pop off and dancers come out and help peel me out of the banana. I have a fascination with fruit… It's Lucille Ball meets Bob Mackie. It's about innuendo. I want everybody to get the joke, but I want them to think about it for a minute."  Katy Perry, on her persona. [Esquire]
• "If things happen in the press that are hard to deal with or you give in to that awful temptation to occasionally Google yourself and be mortified at what people can write about you. It's hard to ignore it. Keira will phone me up. She's like, 'I'm thinking about doing it.' I'm like, 'I am, too, but don't do it.' And we'll kind of talk each other out of it."  Sienna Miller, on her friendship with Keira Knightley. [Mirror]
• "My mom thought it was cool that if you got a business card that said 'Taylor' you wouldn't know if it was a guy or a girl. She wanted me to be a business person in a business world."  Taylor Swift. [Rolling Stone]
• "That one kinda hurts, because I don't have any rights to participate in it at all. It was done at a time when I was dirt poor so I had to sell everything when I sold the script, so that one hurts a bit."  Wes Craven on the remake of Nightmare On Elm Street. [The Star]
• "The past year has obviously been very difficult for me. Yoga has really helped me turn it into a huge learning experience. I'm working hard to take what I went through and turn it into something positive. Yoga helps me focus."  Ashley Dupre, former call girl of former Governor Eliot Spitzer. [Page Six]
• "My feeling about the movies is that most of them are terrible. If you don't have a decent script and a decent director, forget it. That's why I thought the Benjamin Button movie was so encouraging. I'll forgive anybody anything if they have talent. What I find most disconcerting is that people in the profession are not creative but only interested in money, which is what this country is most about. It doesn't appreciate talent. … For eight years we had a moron in the White House who didn't even know what art meant."  Lauren Bacall. There are more quips in the interview! [Houston Chronicle]

• Too bad you missed Britney's Tampa concert: At the end of one number, she announced, "My pussy's hanging out." Why, yes, there is video. [TMZ]

• Britney's dad fired three dancers from her tour for suspected drug use. Keepin' it clean! [Daily Mail]
• WTF. Madonna dressed as a naughty schoolgirl for Purim? She seems to be wearing Lourdes' clothes. [The Sun]
• Madonna and Jesus Luz's mom are both bleach blondes who wear skimpy tops? [Gatecrasher]
• Miley Cyrus has tachycardia: her heart rate exceeds the range of a normal resting heart rate. She writes in her autobiography: "The type of tachycardia I have isn't dangerous. It won't hurt me, but it does bother me. There is never a time onstage when I'm not thinking about my heart." [Gatecrasher]
• Little Jakey Gyllenhaal looks like a brawny hunk in this picture from The Prince Of Persia. [The Life Files]
• So you know how Usher slammed Chris Brown, and then apologized for his comments? An insider says he was "forced" to do so. [Gatecrasher]
• This piece is about why couples reunite. It begins, "No one - not Oprah, not anyone - can figure out why Rihanna decided to get back together with an allegedly abusive Chris Brown." [NY Post]
• Usually we're talking about which team David Beckham is going to play for; this story is about which team he would like to own. "I have the right to own an MLS franchise, which I will action immediately after I have stopped playing," Beckham says. You also need about $40 million and a stadium. [BBC News]
• If you watched Dancing With The Stars last night you know that replacing Jewel and Nancy O'Dell, who were sidelined by injuries, are Holly Madison and Melissa Rycroft  the latter really stretching the definition of the word "star." She was dumped on The Bachelor. [AP]
• This story begins, "Should Dancing With the Stars be renamed Dancing With People You Might Have Heard Of? [MSNBC Scoop]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of 14, has a new house. Her father bought her a four-bedroom, three-bath place in Orange County, CA; the money probably came from the donations and from TV shows who pay her for interviews. Elizabeth Snead of the LA Times writes: "Tell us how you feel about this freaky freeloader  on food stamps, disability and lord knows what else  getting a new home when so many honest, hard-working people in the country are losing theirs." [LA Times]
• Whoa, Real Housewife of New York Kelly Killoren Bensimon was arrested for assault! Her boyfriend, Nicholas Stefanov, told cops she punched him… [NY Daily News]
• Gretchen Rossi of Real Housewives of Orange County denies cheating on her late fiancé. But what's this about calling some dude her boyfriend in a 911 call? [People]
• Uh-oh: TMZ is getting more involved in celebrities' lives: They saved Andy Dick from getting arrested. [TMZ]
• Lawyers for the late Anna Nicole Smith are asking the Supreme Court for help  the money dispute involving her dead husband and his dead son is crazy complicated. Everyone has passed away but the legal issues live on! [AP]
• Gossip Girl's Leighton Meester may star in a thriller called The Roommate. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Rebecca Romijn will star in Eastwick, the new ABC pilot based on John Updike's The Witches Of Eastwick. She'll be the blonde one? [Variety]
• Marcia Cross probably won't be on the new Melrose Place, even though that would be awesome. She says: "I'm really busy. I say never say never, but it's not the first thing on my mind." [Mirror]
• Anil Kapoor of Slumdog Millionaire will be on Fox TV show 24! [Hindustan Times]
• U2 used to be all over Apple products, but their new album has a partnership with Blackberry. What does it mean??? [AdAge]
• If you want to see Mel B modeling underwear  as she "prepares" for her Vegas burlesque show  click the link at the end of this sentence. The white corset is nice. [Daily Mail]
• Roger Friedman says Jane Fonda is "fantastic" in the Broadway play 33 Variations. OMG Dolly Parton was in the audience??? [Fox 411]
• Michael J. Fox is doing a special for ABC about optimism. [AP]
• Here's an interview with the chiseled Irishman Cillian Murphy. [MetroMix]
• The dude accused of stalking Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels is a free man as his case was adjourned for six months. [USA Today, NY Daily News]
• Mischa Barton's been blogging about breaking up with the guy from the Kooks, yawn. [Perez]
• Anne Heche is officially single again, if you care. [E!]
• This picture of Reno 911's Niecy Nash celebrating her 39th birthday is awesomesauce. [Concrete Loop]
• Headline of the day: "Police Seize More Than $1 Million In Drugs From Phish Fans." [USA Today]
• Holy-crap blind item! "Which top model's plastic surgeon is in big trouble? He accidentally spilled acid on her chest while they were having sex in his office." [Gatecrasher]
• "Back up! Don't you ever touch me! You all make my life miserable."  Hayden Panettiere, to photographers and reporters on the red carpet at a hospital fundraising event. [MSNBC]
• "I have to brush my teeth before I go on stage, otherwise I don't feel smart enough."  Chris Martin. [The Sun]
• "I'm a very spiritual person and he's come to me many of times in my dreams… at the end of the day, he knows who's who and what's what. Believe that. And let me tell you something, the way he's feeling is going to come out. Like, trust me. Everything is going to come out later. You're going to see who he really loved and the ones that's standing up for him the right way is the ones representing him the right way. I'm going to tell you what my spiritual connection from Biggie is telling me, 'Don't look back, just do you' and that's why my success is right here for me… Biggie said 'Don't look back. Forget Cease, forget all of them because they going to be sorry. Cause what they did was wrong.'"  Lil Kim, who says the late Notorious B.I.G speaks to her from beyond the grave. [Perez]
• "I'm here and I'm doing it now and I'm working as hard as anybody. Life took me in a different direction, but I'm not here as a lark and I'm not whizzing in and stopping by for two weeks. I've done all kind of things in my career, but this feels like a big deal. Broadway has a mythic greatness  and an actual greatness. No one wanted me to be gone for a year and be unavailable for movies and stuff. They're right. It's a chunk of time. But I have learned from other times, mostly in terms of travel, when I said 'Oh, I'll do it next time.' There were many trips that I had a chance to take, and I'd say 'there's too much going on right now; I'm not going to do it'  and then I've never done it. Guys and Dolls felt like one of those things. In order to survive I will need to have a steady job again, like a television show, and so I don't know when this time will come again. But I fell in love with the play and I fell in love with the part. I thought it was a risk worth taking."  Lauren Graham, of Gilmore Girls, on her new stint as Adelaide in Guys and Dolls on Broadway. [WSJ]

• Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady were wed yesterday in Santa Monica. The bride wore Dolce & Gabbana, and so did her three dogs. [Us Magazine]

• A source claims that often, and especially towards the end of the marriage, Guy Ritchie would call Madonna "It." As in "It's in a bad mood today." And "We can't make It angry." This paper has a helpful illustration of Cousin Itt wearing a pointy bra. [The Sun]
• Blake is no longer incarcerated! Amy Winehouse's husband got out of jail yesterday and says of the divorce: "It's all going ahead - but I don't really know what will happen." And! "It's just nice to be on the outside again. Now I am going to get over my drug habit." Amy, who is still in St. Lucia, may return to London to try and "save her marriage." Really? [The Sun]
• Will Chris Brown go to jail? Will the charges ever be filed? Is his crime a misdemeanor or a felony? So many questions, not enough answers. [People]
• Robert Pattinson and Hugh Jackman went out and did karaoke together in Tokyo. Ten bucks says they sang nothing but show tunes. [E!]
• Daniel Radcliffe took a "mystery brunette" out on a date and the paps were there to make things even more awkward! [Daily Mail]
• Remember how Jeremy Piven abruptly quit Speed-The Plow? A grievance hearing took place yesterday, but no agreement was reached. Will producers take it to court? [AP]
• Piven says he dropped out of the play after being examined by a "Harvard-educated cardiologist affiliated with Yale." So there. [TMZ]
• Piven cried twice during the 20 minute hearing and said he'd been "incredibly sick." [NY Times]
• Producers failed to prove that Piven should not have dropped out of the play. [People]
• Initiation ceremonies require Princes William and Harry to drink through a straw from a toilet filled with beer and strip naked to run the length of the runway at the Royal Air Force base in Lincolnshire. This is how you "earn your drinking wings" or something. [The Sun]
• So you know the little girl who played Latika in Slumdog? Rubina Ali? Her parents had to be pulled apart after brawling with each other at her homecoming yesterday. A neighbor says: "They were hitting each other and tearing each other's clothes off." Apparently her mom walked out when Rubina was four, leaving her father to care for her, and her father called the mom a "money grabber." Countered the mother: "I'm not here for money, I just want to celebrate the success." [The Sun]
• Crap: Azharuddin Mohammed, the ten-year-old boy who played young Salim in Slumdog was beaten by his father yesterday. He was tired from his flight from L.A. and refused his father's request to leave their shack and face the media; his father started hitting him. There's a picture of the kid crying. [Daily Mail]
• Even though Jewel hurt her knees while rehearsing, producers are "desperate" to keep her on Dancing With The Stars. [MSNBC]
• Early word is that Lil' Kim is the one to beat on Dancing With The Stars. Can't wait to see her costumes! [People]
• Russell Simmons has agreed to pay $40,000 a month in child support to Kimora Lee Simmons. She has sole custody of their 2 daughters. And now: Gobs of cash. [AP]
• Loving, loving Beyoncé's hair on the April 2009 cover of Ebony! [The Life Files]
• LOL: please just look at the expression on his face in these high school yearbook pictures of Will Ferrell! [TMZ]
• Jodie Foster was caught speeding, and it was caught on tape, but the footage won't be shown. Apparently she got "annoyed," "angry" and "agitated" with the cops. [Page Six]
• Critics are praising U2's new album even as they critique Bono. Writes Washington Post's J. Freedom du Lac: "It's becoming increasingly difficult to hear U2's music without filtering it through your feelings about the other Bono, that strident, sanctimonious swirl of idealism, agenda and ego." [Reuters]
• If you're interested in the 1996 audition that changed Edward Norton's life, click the link at the end of this sentence. [ET]
• This is interesting: A film version of the musical Damn Yankees will star Jim Carrey and Jake Gyllenhaal. Who will play Lola? You know that whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. [Variety]
• Not sure why this behind the scenes video of Mischa Barton at a photoshoot is so dull, maybe because she has the same blank expression in every scene. [BlackBook]
• No idea what Woody Allen's new flick is about, but the cast is intriguing: Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin and Anthony Hopkins. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Pink. Dolly Parton. Rocking chairs. For sale! [USA Today]
• The conflict between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards has died down. So says Charlie's younger brother Ramon Estevez, whom I did not know existed. [E!]
• George Lucas will produce his first film, post-Star Wars. It's based on the famed Tuskegee Airmen. [Fox 411]
• The Coen brothers have a new film, and it's a short, fake commercial slamming the coal industry. [Guardian]
• MC Hammer's new TV show, Hammertime, will give viewers a glimpse of his life as "as a businessman, computer geek, proud father and husband." No word on whether he is too legit to quit. [AP]
• Jermaine Jackson is working on getting custody of his sons after one told a teacher that his mother had been slapping him repeatedly across the face. [RadarOnline]
• This didn't get a lot of press, but people in wheelchairs protested the Academy giving Jerry Lewis a humanitarian award at the Oscars because they object to the way he talks about "the cripples." Producers actually tried to make sure the foreign press wouldn't write about the incident. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart will get a lifetime achievement award from songwriter's group ASCAP. [Reuters]
• Paul Newman was given a posthumous honour by the US Congress on Tuedsay. [Reuters]
• Be honest: How do we feel about the fact that Eddie Murphy will play Richard Pryor in a biopic? [Guardian]
• Blind item! "Which angry comic had a few cast and crew members fired from his hit show - all because they overshadowed him?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I think that what I'm getting to explore is really the heart of a woman. And I can't say that about everything that I've done. Or maybe I've explored the heart of a woman, but it's been like skating on ice. You know, often you don't get to swim in it. It's an in-depth exploration, and kind of a close-up look at a woman, at all the different ways that she… I think in a way it's about love. You know? It's about love… all the different ways that she loves and whether those loves are acceptable or not."  Holly Hunter, on Saving Grace. [The Daily Beast]
• "I know that Ben Stiller for example, he watches American Idol and he'll email me: 'Hey, who got kicked off?' you know, the night it's on. I'm like, dude  I can't tell you, sorry, you're gonna have to watch. Coming up tonight on prime time!"  Ryan Seacrest, on Idol's celeb fans. [Mirror]
• "It's particularly distressing to me to observe that we're fine with these young women, who it normally is, who are chased, stalked, put under siege by battalions of strange men who sleep in their car and follow them and take pictures up their skirts, and when they throw the dummy out or whatever, everyone thinks they've gone mad. I would defy anyone not to be affected by what is, I think, harassment really. I just think it's slightly below a moral code that I have as a man or as a human being. To chase people, it just seems very bestial."  Rupert Friend, aka Keira Knightley's hottie boyfriend, who is in two films of his own this spring. [Independent]
• "I did not kiss her. She kissed me. We had fun."  Teri Hatcher, on her on-screen smooch with Eva Longoria Parker for Desperate Housewives. [Mirror]
• "At times I was incapable of getting enough oxygen to get my lines out on stage, and sometimes I'd forget where I was in the play. This misconception that I was out partying was wrong. My problem was that as soon as I woke up, I wanted to figure out a way to get back into bed."  Jeremy Piven. [NY Times]
• "Ty said he thinks his best chance of beating me is if I get pregnant during the show so I would be too tired to dance. Talk about a strategy! Of course, that would be fine with me if it did happen, so either way would be a win!"  Jewel, on competing against her husband, Ty Murray on Dancng With The Stars. [People]
• "We pay millions and millions of dollars in tax. The thing that stung us [about the criticism] was the accusation of hypocrisy for my work as an activist. I can understand how people outside the country wouldn't understand how Ireland got to its prosperity but everybody in Ireland knows that there are some very clever people in the Government and in the Revenue who created a financial architecture that prospered the entire nation – it was a way of attracting people to this country who wouldn't normally do business here. And the financial services brought billions of dollars every year directly to the exchequer. What's actually hypocritical is the idea that then you couldn't use a financial services centre in Holland. The real question people need to ask about Ireland's tax policy is: ‘Was the nation a net gain benefactor?' And of course it was – hugely so."  Bono, on the criticism of U2 moving part of its business to the Netherlands to lessen its tax burden. [Irish Times]
• "If you get knocked down, setbacks in life, like applying for a job if they don't hire you, keep trying, keep getting up, keep doing it. Don't give up, that's what it's about. I'm so tough and so bad, I can be humble and lift another guy up."  Mr. T, giving advice to the unemployed. [Mirror]
• "'Brown Eyed Girl' I didn't perform for a long time because for me it was like a throwaway song. I've got about 300 other songs I think are better than that."  from 10 questions with Van Morrison. [Time]
• "Hmm, [how to add] a sexy sizzle to your look? Well high heels are probably the easiest thing, I would say. Instant glamour. Walking around in them naked, you don't need anything else really."  Dita Von Teese. [Daily Express]
• "I hope it won't change anything in how other directors and actors work with me. I mean, the Oscar's going in the loo, next to Sam's. I'm not taking it on a set. I'm just going to work the way I've always worked, which is just to get on with it."  Kate Winslet on her Academy Award. [Daily Mail]

• Lindsay Lohan and Sean Penn: Hung out all evening. For real. And! Is LL in denial about the fact that Samantha Ronson has broken up with her? [Page Six]

• Lindsay looks pretty good in this behind-the-scenes video from her Interview magazine cover shoot. [Pop Dirt]
• Close friends and family attended the memorial service for Jett Travolta yesterday afternoon. Lisa Marie Presley, James Gandolfini, Kirstie Alley, Garth Brooks and wife Trisha Yearwood, Forest Whitaker and wife Keisha were among the mourners. [USA Today]
• Nicole Kidman on watching herself in Australia: "I squirmed in my seat. I can't look at this movie and be proud of what I've done. I sat there and I looked at Keith and went, 'Am I any good in this movie?'" [Daily Mail]
• Angelina and Brad are not, repeat, not married. Taraji P. Henson slipped when she called Angelina Brad's wife: "I mean, they have a family, they live together. What is married really? It's like they are married." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Wow, the Golden Globes website announced that Anne Hathaway won a Golden Globe for Rachel Getting Married a few days early! The info has since disappeared, but if you're in an office pool, consider this one a freebie. [Socialite Life via New York Mag, JustJared]
• Katie Holmes walked into a busy Dean & Deluca in SoHo, Manhattan yesterday, carrying Suri. She waited on line to pay for a cookie for Suri and then walked down the block to Uniqlo, where Suri ate her cookie and Katie bought cardigans. [WWD]
• Lily Allen is giving up clubbing! She has a whole new modus operandi: "I hang out with much older people. I go for dinners at posh places and talk about art. I’m meeting more interesting people who tax my brain." [The Sun]
• Ashley Olsen doesn't wash her hands when she leaves a public toilet. [Page Six]
• Oh dear. Everything was going so well down in the Caribbean. But now Amy Winehouse has hurled a glass of water at a female tourist. She apologized. But a source says: "She walks around in the same grimy bikini bottoms each day with her boobs on show, gets drunk, gropes waiters and is rude to male staff. She’s hardly the most popular guest." But, isn't that the way people act on vacation? [The Sun]
• Fill in the blank! Twilight star Robert Pattinson said the following to a chick at a bar in L.A.: "If I could, I’d have a _____ on the inside of my elbow so I could lick it all day long." [Gatecrasher]
• Sacha Baron Cohen's new movie, Bruno, is sure to piss some people off: There's a black model called Jesus wearing a loincloth and a crown of thorns; and Bruno, the gay Austrian fashion journalist, along with his boyfriend, Diesel, adopts an orphaned African baby boy named David and takes the kid to fashion shows. [Telegraph]
• Kanye West talks about his run-ins with the paparazzi in the new issue of Vibe: "I haven’t done anything violent. They make it seem like I actually went and hit the paparazzi. I haven’t. I was restrained. I’m good at restraining myself from committing violent acts. I know how to control my temper. That one paparazzo made it a bigger deal. I just put my hand up and he felt like he had more right to my personal space than I did. I put my hand up to stop him from shooting me." [Concrete Loop]
• Jermaine Dupri, like so many others lately, is out of a job. He was president of Island Records Urban Music. [Perez]
• This report claims Dupri was fired… because he stopped coming to work. [Page Six]
• Some trickster sent a handwritten letter and a demo CD to Rolling Stone in the name of Sean "Puffy" Combs, along with a pack of gum and a photo of Diddy, "intended as bribes." Nice try. [Rolling Stone]
• There's something oddly charming about this Chloë Sevigny Esquire interview, like when she explains her name: "The umlaut isn't on my birth certificate. I had this book as a child called Chloë and Maude, and there was an umlaut on the e, and I said, I want that! It's a little flair. Just to confuse people even more. People always come up to me and say, Oh, you're Chloë Se-VIG-ny, right? Sevigny. Number seven, letter e." [Esquire]
• You probably forgot that R. Kelly was married, so it will probably come as a shock to you that he is now officially divorced. [E!]
• Fergie's wedding to Josh Duhamel this saturday will be a "blinged-out affair." She's working with H. Stern on the jewelry, which means a PR blitz, which means pictures of the ceremony in the weeklies, for sure. [WWD]
• Patricia Arquette wants you to know that animal overpopulation is as easy as ABC: Animal Birth Control. [ONTD]
• Blind item! "Which mega-athlete got duped by his wife? She swore she was on the pill but wasn’t, and that led to an unexpected bundle of joy." [Gatecrasher]
• Amy Poehler and Rashida Jones' new NBC sitcom is not an Office spinoff; there's a hospital involved, and Human Giant's Aziz Ansari will also star. He says: "The script is hilarious." [Gatecrasher]
• Will TR Knight stay with Grey's Anatomy? Chandra Wilson says yes: "Every script that comes down has O'Malley's name in it, so we're going to do right by the fans, and we're going to do right by the actors, but right now we're all together." [E!]
• Lil' Kim did not go to see the new flick about Notorious B.I.G., but Faith Evans, who was married to Big Poppa, says: "I couldn’t even watch the trailer without crying. I’m going to have to peel off my fake eyelashes!" [Gatecrasher]
• If you're interested in knowing what Kelly Clarkson's new CD cover looks like, click away. [Perez]
• Scott Weiland is out of rehab but still has a terrible temper; he was seen calling some woman a piece of trash and throwing a pack of cigarettes at her head. [Page Six]
• Merle Haggard is suing an environmental awareness group for illegally using his name and likeness. But doesn't the planet need the cash??? [AP]
• Serena Williams looks all PLAKOW in this behind-the-scenes video from her shoot for H magazine. [The Life Files]
• "I don't really have any concept of how money works. I don't know how much things cost. Like a BMW. Or a quart of milk. It's embarrassing. My brother, when he was a commodities trader, would bring me the pamphlets you bring home to your children, like, 'Daddy trades orange juice.'"  Chloë Sevigny. [Esquire]
• "I do think it’s my best album to date. No, I actually know this is my best album to date. Do I think it will be my best album ever? No, I'll improve. Do I think there are mistakes in it? Yes. There has to be. I’m a human being. But I think it surpasses Graduation. These 12 tracks are going to resonate more than any 12 tracks of any album this year."  Kanye West on his current CD, 808s & Heartbreak. [Concrete Loop]
• "I've been living two different lives. By day I've got the leading role in a movie, in spite of having no acting training and very little experience. That's weird in itself. And at night I go home and my mum is telling me to make my bed, keep my room tidy and help with the washing-up. It keeps my feet on the ground, stops me from letting it all go to my head."  Dev Patel of Slumdog Millionaire. [Daily Mail]

When we hear the word rappers, we think of black males; they're what feminists would call hip-hop's unmarked category. This makes tough going for pretenders outside of this category, and it's meant that many of the identities that female comers have carved for themselves—Boss' gangsta bitch, Kim's badass nympho, or, recently, Lil' Mama's lunchroom alpha girl—have registered as one-offs or fads. (We see the same thing with white rappers, whether it's the Beastie Boys' nerdy boogie or Eminem's white-trash horror-core.)

A couple of weeks ago, NPR's Farai Chideya spoke to Spinderella and YoYo about the dearth of female rappers in hip hop. Yo Yo said, "I think that hip-hop has not been allowed to grow up… It's not getting better." As for Spinderella, she mused: "I think women need to really take advantage of the moment  the lack of females that are mainstream right now allows for someone else to come and snatch it up."

Unlike pop or rock, hip-hop has always been the voice of the streets, raw words with an un-Photoshopped, un-censored swagger. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Why should the boys have all the fun? In a spirit of celebration and reminiscence, here are some of my favorite hip-hop tracks with women at the helm:

Salt n Pepa, "Push It"

Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby-pop/Yeah, you come here, gimme a kiss/Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed/Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would?/Now push it/Push it good/P-push it real good

Monie Love, "Monie In The Middle"

Brother what is with you, you can't take a hint?/I need to shove a splint between your eyes for you to see/You and me were never meant to be/Your homeboy likes me, I like him, too, get out the picture/I get your point but I'm not rolling with the punch/I scrunched up the letter you wrote me in lunch

Missy Elliot, "The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)

I got my umbrella/My finger waves these days/They fall like Humpty/Chunky/I break up with him before he dump me/To have me? Oh yes you lucky

Lauryn Hill, "Everything Is Everything" (Also "Ready Or Not")

I philosophy/Possibly speak tongues/Beat drum, Abyssinian, street baptist/Rap this in fine linen/From the beginning/My practice extending across the atlas/I begat this/Flippin in the ghetto on a dirty mattress/You cant match this rapper slash actress/More powerful than two Cleopatras/Bomb graffiti on the tomb of Nefertiti

Queen Latifah & Monie Love, "Ladies First"

I break into a lyrical freestyle/Grab the mic, look into the crowd and see smiles/Cause they see a woman standing up on her own two/Sloppy slouching is something I won't do/Some think that we can't flow/Stereotypes, they got to go

MC Lyte, "Ruff Neck"

I need a ruffneck/I need a man that's quick and swift/To put out the spliff and get stiff

Missy Elliott: "Lose Control"

I've got a cute face/Chubby waist/Thick legs in shape/Rump shakin both wayz/Make u do a double take

Lil Kim, "No Matter What They Say"

If I was you I'd hate me too/Louis Vuitton shoes and a whole lot of booze/Every other week a different a dude and other crews/I make offers nobody can refuse/You might even see me on the channel nine news/I get paid just for laying in the shade/To take pictures with a glass of lemonade/My rocks shine like it was dipped in Cascade

Additional tracks: Eve, "Who's That Girl"; M.I.A., "Galang", Bahamadia/Roni Size, "New Forms". Oh, and Trina's couplets in Trick Daddy's "Shut Up".

Feel free to let me know if I've missed anyone.

Ladies! I Can't Hear You! No, Really, I Can't Hear You! [Slate]
Ladies Of Hip Hop Tell Their Side Of The Story [NPR]

• David and Victoria Beckham were in a car crash Friday in France. David was driving his BMW to the Nice airport when he lost control and crashed into a wall. No kids were in the car; Posh was the only passenger. The vehicle had a smashed windshield and damage on the passenger side, but everyone was OK. Bex had to catch his plane (to appear in the Olympic closing ceremonies) so he left poor Vicky with the car… [Perez Hilton]
• Playdate! Kingston Rossdale and the Spears brothers! Britney entertained the three boys while Gwen and Gavin have their hands full with a new baby at home. It says a lot about Brit's progress that people will leave their kids with her, huh? And look, only two nannies in the accompanying picture. [Daily Mail]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie can claim £1,400 a month in child benefits after registering France as their home. Not that they will claim the money. Because they are perfect. [The Sun]
• Lance Bass helped Christina Applegate recover from her double mastectomy. "I was at the hospital holding her hand and getting her through it," he says. "She is a very, very loved person. She's a big crossword puzzle girl. That kept her busy. In her hours of recovery, she's made all these roses out of lace. She has hundreds and hundreds of these amazing different roses. She doesn't know what she's going to do with them." [People]

• Apparently the trailer for Keira Knightley's new film, The Duchess, has shots of Princess Diana intercut in it, with the words "The two were related by ancestry and united by destiny… History repeats itself." Except Keira's flick is about Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire. Who did not die in a car crash. [Telegraph]
• Madonna and Guy renewed their vows in a private Kabbalah ceremony in London. A-Rod, shmay-rod! [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour kicked off over the weekend! [The Sun]
• Madge has $1 million worth of Swarovski crystals on her costumes! [Mirror]
• Her show was "epic" and featured a video appearance by Britney Spears, as well as virtual appearances by Kanye West and Pharrell Williams. [Mirror]
• Madonna's workouts to get in shape for her tour have paid off. Hubby Guy Rithie says: "Her legs are Olympic standard. She is in amazing shape. You won’t find a fitter bird than her. Her legs are so toned. She’s fitter than dancers on her tour who are half her age." [The Sun]
• Madonna's tour includes negative images of destruction: global warming, Hitler, Mugabe and Senator John McCain. Then! Positive images! John Lennon, Al Gore, Mahatma Gandhi and Barack Obama! [AP]
• Um, the McCain camp is not happy about Madonna's tour images. "The comparisons are outrageous, unacceptable and crudely divisive all at the same time." [Yahoo News]
• Is Madonna sparking a stocking trend with her 100 pairs of fishnets? [The Sun]
• Four relatives of Helena Bonham Carter were killed in a minibus crash while of a safari holiday in South Africa last week. [Times of London]
• Amanda Bynes was in a minor car accident Saturday afternoon in L.A. She made an unsafe turn and another car hit her. No serious damage, no drugs or alcohol. [People]
• Jet-setting billionaire Charles Simonyi is engaged to a Swedish woman named Lisa Persdotter, which is weird because Martha Stewart has often referred to him as "my boyfriend." [ONTD]
• Chris Kattan filed for legal separation from his wife, Sunshine Tutt, citing irreconcilable differences.The couple were engaged for 18 months and married for less than 2 months. Sigh, WWMD? (What Would Mango Do?) [Yahoo News via E!]
• John Mayer paparazzi shots aren't worth very much now that he's not with Jennifer Aniston. [MSNBC]
• Barenaked Ladies frontman Ed Robertson and three other people are "very lucky" to have survived a plane crash yesterday. The float-plane went down in the trees in Bancroft, Ontario, Canada. [Toronto Sun]
• Kim Kardashian cut her foot in her hotel room Sunday night. A source says there was so much blood, it looked like a murder scene. She sliced her foot open on a glass coffee table  right before she's supposed to start Dancing With The Stars! [ONTD]
• George Michael's final farewell concert was in London over the weekend. "It's great to be home," he said. (I won't let you down. I will not give you up. Gotta have some faith in the sound… It's the one good thing that I've got.) [Telegraph]
• There was a beachside premiere party for 90210 over the weekend, with Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth in attendance. [AP]
• Boy jeans: Now seen on Jennifer Aniston. Katie Holmes, what hath thou wrought? [Daily Mail]
• Drew Barrymore: seen singing "I Will Survive" at a karaoke joint in Detroit with Whip It co-stars Juliette Lewis and Ellen Page. It's okay, you'll find better than the Mac dude! [Mirror]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty went house shopping in Malibu! The "love nest" they checked out was priced at £11million. Guess that's what Getty oil money will get you. [Mirror]
• Snoop Dogg has been granted a visa to perform in Australia, despite his long list of drugs, firearms and weapons charges. You can't hold back the dee oh double gee! [News.com.au]
• Paula Abdul has undergone neck surgery to repair an old cheerleading injury. She's supposedly been in a lot of pain since um, 1987, which maybe made her take pain pills, which maybe made her loopy. [Perez Hilton]
• TV chef Jamie Oliver was talking about free range chickens and gassing chicks when he some kind of Holocaust joke about the Germans, whoops. [The Star]
• Adrian Grenier: Dating an Aussie "weather girl"? [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which newly single TV personality tried out his sonorous baritone on young co-eds while vacationing in Mexico? 'He was bouncing between college girls like a pinball,' says our spy. 'His son was there, and it was embarrassing to watch.' Even worse, we hear there were no takers." [Rush & Molloy]
• Mary J. Blige and Robin Thicke will tour together in North America this fall. Will they sing together? A duet could be hot! [Reuters]
• When Alanis Morissette was 15 years old, she opened for Vanilla Ice on tour: "I was instructed not to look him in the eye and that was my first experience of honouring someone’s privacy to the point where you look away when they come near you. I thought, 'Wow, I didn’t think that actually existed!'" [Daily Express]
• Ed McMahon has found someone to buy his home and it's not Donald Trump. [Yahoo News]
• If you like Lil Wayne, Birdman or the Hot Boys, you'll love Cash Money Mobile, the new phone service that delivers ringtones, graphics, videoclips, text alerts and other crap right to your phone. A milli, a milli, a milli. [Reuters]
• Bobby Brown is being sued for failing to pay the legal bills for his divorce from Whitney Houston. He still owes almost $100,000  can he get if from that country show? [Mirror]
• Tennis star James Blake talks about going to high school with John Mayer: "Just about every day he was at my house, and we'd play Nintendo games… I was about five feet tall wearing a back brace [due to scoliosis]… I don't think either one of us was doing that great [with the ladies] in high school – John was still kind of fitting into a niche ... He's more than made up for himself with how he's done since then." [People]
• Christopher Plummer recalls that hilarious time he thought he had syphilis and William Shatner took his role in Henry V. [Page Six]
• It's been twenty years since N.W.A.'s Straight Outta Compton. Ice Cube says: "It was what we saw all around us in Los Angeles. Gangsta to us didn't have anything to do with Al Capone and stuff like that. It's just about living your life the way you want to live it. And you're not going to let nothing stop you." [USA Today]
• A Serbian village unveiled what it says is Europe's first statue to late Jamaican reggae star Bob Marley on Saturday. Apparently the war-torn region prefers role models of peace. [Yahoo News]
• There's an excerpt from Faith Evans' book, and it details the night when she caught Lil' Kim in Biggie's bed. "As soon as I saw a small lump next to Big’s large frame, I flew into a rage, ran over to the side of the bed, and pulled back the covers. I grabbed some chick our of the bed and started beating her ass. At some point, the chick’s wig came off in my hand; It was a short, cropped wig. I stopped throwing punches for a minute to get a good look at the chick I was beating up. It was Lil Kim. She was completely butt-naked, yelling as I pushed her around the room…" [The.Life Files, Gawker]
• "Growing up, there’s a lot of pressure on young women, when you first become aware of your own looks in relation to other women’s looks. You just want to be cookie-cutter beautiful. And sometimes you think, 'Maybe I could change something about myself to fit that mould.' I’m no exception to that. When I was growing up I wanted a nose job because I didn’t think my nose was good. Your face needs to have character if you’re going to be an actor or you’re just kind of a face. You’re not really a person or a personality."  Anne Hathaway. [Daily Express]
• "Making clothes together in our studio makes us feel complete. We probably sound like a group of grannies in a knitting circle but it's the truth and it gives us some control over our visual identity."  Coldplay's Chris Martin. [Mirror]
• "I wrote that song as a stalker. It was raining, and I was sitting there in front of the house, watching her come home from a date after we were divorced. I was imagining what she did on this date, and watching her giving him a kiss. I went home and wrote this song."  Terrence Howard, on the "No. 1 Fan" from his new album. [E!]

• Hayden Panettiere's father, Alan, has been arrested for allegedly beating his wife. He allegedly struck Lesley Panettiere in the face this morning at 3 am. If it's true, the man is no hero. Maybe that's why Hayden wants to shack up with her older boyfriend? [TMZ]
• Britney Spears filmed a promo for the MTV Video Music Awards with Russell Brand and an elephant. Does that mean she'll be in the show again this year? Can you believe it has been a year since her "Gimme More" debacle? She could make a real comeback this time. [LA Times]
• George Clooney is helping Barack Obama on issues from body language to Iraq. They e-mail regularly, an insider says: "George has been giving him advice on things such as presentation, public speaking and body language and he also emails him constantly about policy, especially the Middle East. George is pushing him to be more 'balanced' on issues such as US relations with Israel." [Daily Mail]
• The woman who helped raise David Banda, adopted son of Madonna, has died. Asineti Mwale looked after infant David after his birth mother died, and recently was bedridden with pneumonia. [People]

• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban in matching his-and-hers leather outfits: Ew. [Daily Mail]
• Whoa, there's an Olympic boxer in Beijing named Brad Pitt. Some suggested he go by "Bradley" just to avoid issues during check in and travel, but he says, "No way, I've always been Brad.'' He also says:"The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.'' [Times Of India]
• The New York Times obit of Isaac Hayes refers to his "lascivious bass-baritone and flamboyant wardrobe." He is survived by his wife, their son Nana and 11 other children. [NY Times]
• Did Jennifer Aniston have her lips done? Some random person says yes. [UPI]
• Johnny Depp might be moving to the English countryside. [Mirror]
• The news about the Sienna Miller/Balthazar Getty affair continues to contradict itself. Today, an insider says: "It’s nonsense that the marriage was already over. When Balthazar went away in May, Rosetta thought it was to see his sick mom in Germany. But she now knows that it was to cavort with Sienna in Prague.” [Perez Hilton]
• Model/actress Angie Everhart's boyfriend was arrested Thursday in West Hollywood for allegedly roughing her up. She had minor injuries, but they did not require medical attention. He was booked for misdemeanor spousal battery. [Yahoo News]
• Penelope Cruz was giving a phone interview when her driver almost wrecked the car; the reporter on the other line heard her screaming. [Washington Post]
• Guy Ritchie is taking martial arts in a padded dojo room and this Brit tab runs the headline: "Padded 'Cell' Helps Guy Chill." [The Sun]
• David Beckham says his son Cruz didn't learn breakdancing from him: "I have two left feet when it comes to dancing." Guess that works on the soccer field, though. [The Sun]
• Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones broke immigration and anti-terrorism laws by pulling their yacht into an Italian port and disembarking without paperwork or notifying authorities. Shady! [Variety]
• A woman is suing Splash News after ending up on a tape featuring Heath Ledger "in close proximity" to cocaine. "Jane Doe" says it's a privacy issue: Her face was blurred on the footage but is worried about her "conversations, her voice and likeness." One minute you're partying with celebs, the next you're on Entertainment Tonight. [Yahoo News]
• Rachel Hunter got ice from her hockey player boyfriend: They're engaged. [This Is London]
• UK What Not To Wear star Trinny Woodall has a crush on Keanu Reeves and has been "chasing" him. Take the red pill! [Daily Mail]
• Tori Spelling: Pissed that her role on the new 90210 pays less than what Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty are getting. What's up with that? Stop picking on Donna Martin! [Deadline Hollywood]
• People are still miffed about Beyoncé's L'Oréal ad, including the chairman of the National Association of Black Journalists. [Guardian]
• Matthew McConaughey saved the placenta from the July birth of his son and plans to plant it under a tree. "It's going to be in the orchards and it's going to bear some wonderful fruit," he says. "When I was in Australia, they had a placenta tree that was on the river ... and all the placentas of all that tribe, all that clan, whatever aboriginal tribe that was, all the placentas went under that one tree and it was this huge behemoth of just health and strength." Sounds delicious. [AP]
• Mark your calendars: Blake Fielder-Civil should be out of jail by December 30. [Perez Hilton]
• Another noteworthy date: Jennifer Hudson's CD finally drops on September 30. [Yahoo News]
• Lisa Marie Presley has been blogging on her MySpace page, and while she's happy about being pregnant, she's upset about the gossip machine. "In the past couple of years, high profile type people seem to have less and less rights. Less privacy and protection. The onslaught of Internet and tabloid sites mostly want only blood now. They have managed to make being a public figure a 24/7 public stoning and execution of various sorts. Some obviously more brutal than others." [People]
• The MGM Tower, where Tom Cruise and Salma Hayek have offices, has been the subject of an anonymous threat: Anthrax in the ventilation system. Scary! Last Tuesday there was a bomb threat in the building. WTF. [E!]
• Speaking of Salma, she is developing an hourlong reality show about weddings, just a few months after calling off her own. It will only be worth watching if Wilhelmina Slater is in it. [Variety]
• A picture of Prince William and Kate Middleton on a boat in the Caribbean, for your approval. [People]
• A photo of Rhys Ifans with a topless lady, also for your approval. [The Sun]
• Uh-oh. Miss Universe in nude photo scandal. But! Officials say: the shots for a jewelry company are "artistic in nature, and they don't have an ounce of pornographic content to them." Phew. [Times Of India]
• "Once a Hollywood legend, Doris Day is now an ageing recluse called Clara." [Daily Mail]
• Lil' Kim's nose is looking marginally better these days. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's nose has been elegantly refined. [Good Plastic Surgery]
• Family drama: Richard Dreyfuss is suing his father and uncle over an $870,000 loan he claims was never repaid. The deal was made in 1984. [Yahoo News]
• "I've been celibate for a year and starting to think I may never have sex again. It’s not something I planned but I just don’t get asked out any more. Men seem to look at me and think, 'She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?'"  Lisa Snowdon. [The Sun]
• "My parents have been married more than 25 years, with all the glory and the pain you can imagine, but they've stayed together. I want a strong marriage like that… The worst thing that happens to you can be the best thing for you, if you don't let it get the best of you."  Anne Hathaway on dating. [People]
• Carey Hart's brother Anthony Hart died yesterday after wrecking his motorcycle in a practice session for a Supermoto Championship race. [TMZ]
• "I have not decided on a candidate. I am waiting to see the commitments they will make on issues like international justice, refugees and how to address the needs of children in crisis around the world."  Angelina Jolie on endorsing a presidential candidate. [Wilshire & Washington, via Time]
• "He's the first and last old man that I'll be attracted to."  American Idol's Katharine McPhee on her husband, who is 19 years her senior. [Newsweek]
• "I occasionally go out with musicians, I keep myself to myself, and I get followed by people with cameras. I feel like I should give some kind of public apology because I see this person in the papers, too. It’s like reading about a character in a Lewis Carroll novel, like Alice in Through the Looking Glass. I’d love to meet this person and tell her she’s a bitch – but she’s not me. The drug thing is something I can’t go into for legal reasons, but I will say that it was blown completely out of proportion. I never overdosed. Drugs for me are something I don’t normally meddle in."  Peaches Geldof. [Times of London]