When we hear the word rappers, we think of black males; they're what feminists would call hip-hop's unmarked category. This makes tough going for pretenders outside of this category, and it's meant that many of the identities that female comers have carved for themselves—Boss' gangsta bitch, Kim's badass nympho, or, recently, Lil' Mama's lunchroom alpha girl—have registered as one-offs or fads. (We see the same thing with white rappers, whether it's the Beastie Boys' nerdy boogie or Eminem's white-trash horror-core.)

A couple of weeks ago, NPR's Farai Chideya spoke to Spinderella and YoYo about the dearth of female rappers in hip hop. Yo Yo said, "I think that hip-hop has not been allowed to grow up… It's not getting better." As for Spinderella, she mused: "I think women need to really take advantage of the moment — the lack of females that are mainstream right now allows for someone else to come and snatch it up."

Unlike pop or rock, hip-hop has always been the voice of the streets, raw words with an un-Photoshopped, un-censored swagger. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Why should the boys have all the fun? In a spirit of celebration and reminiscence, here are some of my favorite hip-hop tracks with women at the helm:

Salt n Pepa, "Push It"

Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby-pop/Yeah, you come here, gimme a kiss/Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed/Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would?/Now push it/Push it good/P-push it real good

Monie Love, "Monie In The Middle"

Brother what is with you, you can't take a hint?/I need to shove a splint between your eyes for you to see/You and me were never meant to be/Your homeboy likes me, I like him, too, get out the picture/I get your point but I'm not rolling with the punch/I scrunched up the letter you wrote me in lunch

Missy Elliot, "The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)

I got my umbrella/My finger waves these days/They fall like Humpty/Chunky/I break up with him before he dump me/To have me? Oh yes you lucky

Lauryn Hill, "Everything Is Everything" (Also "Ready Or Not")

I philosophy/Possibly speak tongues/Beat drum, Abyssinian, street baptist/Rap this in fine linen/From the beginning/My practice extending across the atlas/I begat this/Flippin in the ghetto on a dirty mattress/You cant match this rapper slash actress/More powerful than two Cleopatras/Bomb graffiti on the tomb of Nefertiti

Queen Latifah & Monie Love, "Ladies First"

I break into a lyrical freestyle/Grab the mic, look into the crowd and see smiles/Cause they see a woman standing up on her own two/Sloppy slouching is something I won't do/Some think that we can't flow/Stereotypes, they got to go

MC Lyte, "Ruff Neck"

I need a ruffneck/I need a man that's quick and swift/To put out the spliff and get stiff

Missy Elliott: "Lose Control"

I've got a cute face/Chubby waist/Thick legs in shape/Rump shakin both wayz/Make u do a double take

Lil Kim, "No Matter What They Say"

If I was you I'd hate me too/Louis Vuitton shoes and a whole lot of booze/Every other week a different a dude and other crews/I make offers nobody can refuse/You might even see me on the channel nine news/I get paid just for laying in the shade/To take pictures with a glass of lemonade/My rocks shine like it was dipped in Cascade

Additional tracks: Eve, "Who's That Girl"; M.I.A., "Galang", Bahamadia/Roni Size, "New Forms". Oh, and Trina's couplets in Trick Daddy's "Shut Up".

Feel free to let me know if I've missed anyone.

Ladies! I Can't Hear You! No, Really, I Can't Hear You! [Slate]
Ladies Of Hip Hop Tell Their Side Of The Story [NPR]

• David and Victoria Beckham were in a car crash Friday in France. David was driving his BMW to the Nice airport when he lost control and crashed into a wall. No kids were in the car; Posh was the only passenger. The vehicle had a smashed windshield and damage on the passenger side, but everyone was OK. Bex had to catch his plane (to appear in the Olympic closing ceremonies) so he left poor Vicky with the car… [Perez Hilton]
• Playdate! Kingston Rossdale and the Spears brothers! Britney entertained the three boys while Gwen and Gavin have their hands full with a new baby at home. It says a lot about Brit's progress that people will leave their kids with her, huh? And look, only two nannies in the accompanying picture. [Daily Mail]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie can claim £1,400 a month in child benefits after registering France as their home. Not that they will claim the money. Because they are perfect. [The Sun]
• Lance Bass helped Christina Applegate recover from her double mastectomy. "I was at the hospital holding her hand and getting her through it," he says. "She is a very, very loved person. She's a big crossword puzzle girl. That kept her busy. In her hours of recovery, she's made all these roses out of lace. She has hundreds and hundreds of these amazing different roses. She doesn't know what she's going to do with them." [People]

• Apparently the trailer for Keira Knightley's new film, The Duchess, has shots of Princess Diana intercut in it, with the words "The two were related by ancestry and united by destiny… History repeats itself." Except Keira's flick is about Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire. Who did not die in a car crash. [Telegraph]
• Madonna and Guy renewed their vows in a private Kabbalah ceremony in London. A-Rod, shmay-rod! [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour kicked off over the weekend! [The Sun]
• Madge has $1 million worth of Swarovski crystals on her costumes! [Mirror]
• Her show was "epic" and featured a video appearance by Britney Spears, as well as virtual appearances by Kanye West and Pharrell Williams. [Mirror]
• Madonna's workouts to get in shape for her tour have paid off. Hubby Guy Rithie says: "Her legs are Olympic standard. She is in amazing shape. You won’t find a fitter bird than her. Her legs are so toned. She’s fitter than dancers on her tour who are half her age." [The Sun]
• Madonna's tour includes negative images of destruction: global warming, Hitler, Mugabe and Senator John McCain. Then! Positive images! John Lennon, Al Gore, Mahatma Gandhi and Barack Obama! [AP]
• Um, the McCain camp is not happy about Madonna's tour images. "The comparisons are outrageous, unacceptable and crudely divisive all at the same time." [Yahoo News]
• Is Madonna sparking a stocking trend with her 100 pairs of fishnets? [The Sun]
• Four relatives of Helena Bonham Carter were killed in a minibus crash while of a safari holiday in South Africa last week. [Times of London]
• Amanda Bynes was in a minor car accident Saturday afternoon in L.A. She made an unsafe turn and another car hit her. No serious damage, no drugs or alcohol. [People]
• Jet-setting billionaire Charles Simonyi is engaged to a Swedish woman named Lisa Persdotter, which is weird because Martha Stewart has often referred to him as "my boyfriend." [ONTD]
• Chris Kattan filed for legal separation from his wife, Sunshine Tutt, citing irreconcilable differences.The couple were engaged for 18 months and married for less than 2 months. Sigh, WWMD? (What Would Mango Do?) [Yahoo News via E!]
• John Mayer paparazzi shots aren't worth very much now that he's not with Jennifer Aniston. [MSNBC]
• Barenaked Ladies frontman Ed Robertson and three other people are "very lucky" to have survived a plane crash yesterday. The float-plane went down in the trees in Bancroft, Ontario, Canada. [Toronto Sun]
• Kim Kardashian cut her foot in her hotel room Sunday night. A source says there was so much blood, it looked like a murder scene. She sliced her foot open on a glass coffee table — right before she's supposed to start Dancing With The Stars! [ONTD]
• George Michael's final farewell concert was in London over the weekend. "It's great to be home," he said. (I won't let you down. I will not give you up. Gotta have some faith in the sound… It's the one good thing that I've got.) [Telegraph]
• There was a beachside premiere party for 90210 over the weekend, with Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth in attendance. [AP]
• Boy jeans: Now seen on Jennifer Aniston. Katie Holmes, what hath thou wrought? [Daily Mail]
• Drew Barrymore: seen singing "I Will Survive" at a karaoke joint in Detroit with Whip It co-stars Juliette Lewis and Ellen Page. It's okay, you'll find better than the Mac dude! [Mirror]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty went house shopping in Malibu! The "love nest" they checked out was priced at £11million. Guess that's what Getty oil money will get you. [Mirror]
• Snoop Dogg has been granted a visa to perform in Australia, despite his long list of drugs, firearms and weapons charges. You can't hold back the dee oh double gee! [News.com.au]
• Paula Abdul has undergone neck surgery to repair an old cheerleading injury. She's supposedly been in a lot of pain since um, 1987, which maybe made her take pain pills, which maybe made her loopy. [Perez Hilton]
• TV chef Jamie Oliver was talking about free range chickens and gassing chicks when he some kind of Holocaust joke about the Germans, whoops. [The Star]
• Adrian Grenier: Dating an Aussie "weather girl"? [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which newly single TV personality tried out his sonorous baritone on young co-eds while vacationing in Mexico? 'He was bouncing between college girls like a pinball,' says our spy. 'His son was there, and it was embarrassing to watch.' Even worse, we hear there were no takers." [Rush & Molloy]
• Mary J. Blige and Robin Thicke will tour together in North America this fall. Will they sing together? A duet could be hot! [Reuters]
• When Alanis Morissette was 15 years old, she opened for Vanilla Ice on tour: "I was instructed not to look him in the eye and that was my first experience of honouring someone’s privacy to the point where you look away when they come near you. I thought, 'Wow, I didn’t think that actually existed!'" [Daily Express]
• Ed McMahon has found someone to buy his home and it's not Donald Trump. [Yahoo News]
• If you like Lil Wayne, Birdman or the Hot Boys, you'll love Cash Money Mobile, the new phone service that delivers ringtones, graphics, videoclips, text alerts and other crap right to your phone. A milli, a milli, a milli. [Reuters]
• Bobby Brown is being sued for failing to pay the legal bills for his divorce from Whitney Houston. He still owes almost $100,000 — can he get if from that country show? [Mirror]
• Tennis star James Blake talks about going to high school with John Mayer: "Just about every day he was at my house, and we'd play Nintendo games… I was about five feet tall wearing a back brace [due to scoliosis]… I don't think either one of us was doing that great [with the ladies] in high school – John was still kind of fitting into a niche ... He's more than made up for himself with how he's done since then." [People]
• Christopher Plummer recalls that hilarious time he thought he had syphilis and William Shatner took his role in Henry V. [Page Six]
• It's been twenty years since N.W.A.'s Straight Outta Compton. Ice Cube says: "It was what we saw all around us in Los Angeles. Gangsta to us didn't have anything to do with Al Capone and stuff like that. It's just about living your life the way you want to live it. And you're not going to let nothing stop you." [USA Today]
• A Serbian village unveiled what it says is Europe's first statue to late Jamaican reggae star Bob Marley on Saturday. Apparently the war-torn region prefers role models of peace. [Yahoo News]
• There's an excerpt from Faith Evans' book, and it details the night when she caught Lil' Kim in Biggie's bed. "As soon as I saw a small lump next to Big’s large frame, I flew into a rage, ran over to the side of the bed, and pulled back the covers. I grabbed some chick our of the bed and started beating her ass. At some point, the chick’s wig came off in my hand; It was a short, cropped wig. I stopped throwing punches for a minute to get a good look at the chick I was beating up. It was Lil Kim. She was completely butt-naked, yelling as I pushed her around the room…" [The.Life Files, Gawker]
• "Growing up, there’s a lot of pressure on young women, when you first become aware of your own looks in relation to other women’s looks. You just want to be cookie-cutter beautiful. And sometimes you think, 'Maybe I could change something about myself to fit that mould.' I’m no exception to that. When I was growing up I wanted a nose job because I didn’t think my nose was good. Your face needs to have character if you’re going to be an actor or you’re just kind of a face. You’re not really a person or a personality." — Anne Hathaway. [Daily Express]
• "Making clothes together in our studio makes us feel complete. We probably sound like a group of grannies in a knitting circle but it's the truth and it gives us some control over our visual identity." — Coldplay's Chris Martin. [Mirror]
• "I wrote that song as a stalker. It was raining, and I was sitting there in front of the house, watching her come home from a date after we were divorced. I was imagining what she did on this date, and watching her giving him a kiss. I went home and wrote this song." — Terrence Howard, on the "No. 1 Fan" from his new album. [E!]

• Hayden Panettiere's father, Alan, has been arrested for allegedly beating his wife. He allegedly struck Lesley Panettiere in the face this morning at 3 am. If it's true, the man is no hero. Maybe that's why Hayden wants to shack up with her older boyfriend? [TMZ]
• Britney Spears filmed a promo for the MTV Video Music Awards with Russell Brand and an elephant. Does that mean she'll be in the show again this year? Can you believe it has been a year since her "Gimme More" debacle? She could make a real comeback this time. [LA Times]
• George Clooney is helping Barack Obama on issues from body language to Iraq. They e-mail regularly, an insider says: "George has been giving him advice on things such as presentation, public speaking and body language and he also emails him constantly about policy, especially the Middle East. George is pushing him to be more 'balanced' on issues such as US relations with Israel." [Daily Mail]
• The woman who helped raise David Banda, adopted son of Madonna, has died. Asineti Mwale looked after infant David after his birth mother died, and recently was bedridden with pneumonia. [People]

• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban in matching his-and-hers leather outfits: Ew. [Daily Mail]
• Whoa, there's an Olympic boxer in Beijing named Brad Pitt. Some suggested he go by "Bradley" just to avoid issues during check in and travel, but he says, "No way, I've always been Brad.'' He also says:"The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.'' [Times Of India]
• The New York Times obit of Isaac Hayes refers to his "lascivious bass-baritone and flamboyant wardrobe." He is survived by his wife, their son Nana and 11 other children. [NY Times]
• Did Jennifer Aniston have her lips done? Some random person says yes. [UPI]
• Johnny Depp might be moving to the English countryside. [Mirror]
• The news about the Sienna Miller/Balthazar Getty affair continues to contradict itself. Today, an insider says: "It’s nonsense that the marriage was already over. When Balthazar went away in May, Rosetta thought it was to see his sick mom in Germany. But she now knows that it was to cavort with Sienna in Prague.” [Perez Hilton]
• Model/actress Angie Everhart's boyfriend was arrested Thursday in West Hollywood for allegedly roughing her up. She had minor injuries, but they did not require medical attention. He was booked for misdemeanor spousal battery. [Yahoo News]
• Penelope Cruz was giving a phone interview when her driver almost wrecked the car; the reporter on the other line heard her screaming. [Washington Post]
• Guy Ritchie is taking martial arts in a padded dojo room and this Brit tab runs the headline: "Padded 'Cell' Helps Guy Chill." [The Sun]
• David Beckham says his son Cruz didn't learn breakdancing from him: "I have two left feet when it comes to dancing." Guess that works on the soccer field, though. [The Sun]
• Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones broke immigration and anti-terrorism laws by pulling their yacht into an Italian port and disembarking without paperwork or notifying authorities. Shady! [Variety]
• A woman is suing Splash News after ending up on a tape featuring Heath Ledger "in close proximity" to cocaine. "Jane Doe" says it's a privacy issue: Her face was blurred on the footage but is worried about her "conversations, her voice and likeness." One minute you're partying with celebs, the next you're on Entertainment Tonight. [Yahoo News]
• Rachel Hunter got ice from her hockey player boyfriend: They're engaged. [This Is London]
• UK What Not To Wear star Trinny Woodall has a crush on Keanu Reeves and has been "chasing" him. Take the red pill! [Daily Mail]
• Tori Spelling: Pissed that her role on the new 90210 pays less than what Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty are getting. What's up with that? Stop picking on Donna Martin! [Deadline Hollywood]
• People are still miffed about Beyoncé's L'Oréal ad, including the chairman of the National Association of Black Journalists. [Guardian]
• Matthew McConaughey saved the placenta from the July birth of his son and plans to plant it under a tree. "It's going to be in the orchards and it's going to bear some wonderful fruit," he says. "When I was in Australia, they had a placenta tree that was on the river ... and all the placentas of all that tribe, all that clan, whatever aboriginal tribe that was, all the placentas went under that one tree and it was this huge behemoth of just health and strength." Sounds delicious. [AP]
• Mark your calendars: Blake Fielder-Civil should be out of jail by December 30. [Perez Hilton]
• Another noteworthy date: Jennifer Hudson's CD finally drops on September 30. [Yahoo News]
• Lisa Marie Presley has been blogging on her MySpace page, and while she's happy about being pregnant, she's upset about the gossip machine. "In the past couple of years, high profile type people seem to have less and less rights. Less privacy and protection. The onslaught of Internet and tabloid sites mostly want only blood now. They have managed to make being a public figure a 24/7 public stoning and execution of various sorts. Some obviously more brutal than others." [People]
• The MGM Tower, where Tom Cruise and Salma Hayek have offices, has been the subject of an anonymous threat: Anthrax in the ventilation system. Scary! Last Tuesday there was a bomb threat in the building. WTF. [E!]
• Speaking of Salma, she is developing an hourlong reality show about weddings, just a few months after calling off her own. It will only be worth watching if Wilhelmina Slater is in it. [Variety]
• A picture of Prince William and Kate Middleton on a boat in the Caribbean, for your approval. [People]
• A photo of Rhys Ifans with a topless lady, also for your approval. [The Sun]
• Uh-oh. Miss Universe in nude photo scandal. But! Officials say: the shots for a jewelry company are "artistic in nature, and they don't have an ounce of pornographic content to them." Phew. [Times Of India]
• "Once a Hollywood legend, Doris Day is now an ageing recluse called Clara." [Daily Mail]
• Lil' Kim's nose is looking marginally better these days. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's nose has been elegantly refined. [Good Plastic Surgery]
• Family drama: Richard Dreyfuss is suing his father and uncle over an $870,000 loan he claims was never repaid. The deal was made in 1984. [Yahoo News]
• "I've been celibate for a year and starting to think I may never have sex again. It’s not something I planned but I just don’t get asked out any more. Men seem to look at me and think, 'She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?'" — Lisa Snowdon. [The Sun]
• "My parents have been married more than 25 years, with all the glory and the pain you can imagine, but they've stayed together. I want a strong marriage like that… The worst thing that happens to you can be the best thing for you, if you don't let it get the best of you." — Anne Hathaway on dating. [People]
• Carey Hart's brother Anthony Hart died yesterday after wrecking his motorcycle in a practice session for a Supermoto Championship race. [TMZ]
• "I have not decided on a candidate. I am waiting to see the commitments they will make on issues like international justice, refugees and how to address the needs of children in crisis around the world." — Angelina Jolie on endorsing a presidential candidate. [Wilshire & Washington, via Time]
• "He's the first and last old man that I'll be attracted to." — American Idol's Katharine McPhee on her husband, who is 19 years her senior. [Newsweek]
• "I occasionally go out with musicians, I keep myself to myself, and I get followed by people with cameras. I feel like I should give some kind of public apology because I see this person in the papers, too. It’s like reading about a character in a Lewis Carroll novel, like Alice in Through the Looking Glass. I’d love to meet this person and tell her she’s a bitch – but she’s not me. The drug thing is something I can’t go into for legal reasons, but I will say that it was blown completely out of proportion. I never overdosed. Drugs for me are something I don’t normally meddle in." — Peaches Geldof. [Times of London]

• Apparently the DEA's massive investigation into Heath Ledger's death is unprecedented. Is this case "special" because of Heath's fame? [TMZ]
• The case is now closed, with Mary-Kate Olsen off the hook. [TMZ, Reuters, USA Today, People]
• Morgan Freeman, 71, is still in the hospital after his car wreck a week ago, and, as has been previously reported, has announced he's divorcing his wife of 24 years. They've been separated since December and have no kids. The woman in the car accident was Demaris Meyer, 48, a "friend." [Page Six]
• George Clooney is on vacation with Cindy Crawford, her husband and kids. They're all on a boat in the Mediterranean and I'm not. [People]

• The body of a woman — who had been missing since attending Lil' Kim's birthday party on Sunday night — was found yesterday in a closet on the roof of the party location, a New York club called Spotlight Live. [TMZ]
• Nicole Kidman says baby Sunday "looks like Keith." Hopefully the kid doesn't have the frosted, flat-ironed hair, though. Or stubble. [People]
• Oh. Sunday's hair has a "reddish tinge." [News.com.au]
• Star mag reported that Shia LaBeouf is in danger having his pinky finger amputated; apparently it is a "completely fabricated story." [E!]
• Despite previous reports, Britney Spears will not, repeat, NOT, be playing a killer lesbian stripper in Quentin Tarantino's remake of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!. Damn. [PopDirt]
• Some spin control re: Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty: When they met he was already separated from his wife; his mother likes Sienna; he sees his kids but is not trying to get back with his wife. As for Sienna, a source says, "There's no way she would ever get involved with another married man after Jude Law." Sigh. [The Sun]
• A "spurned mistress" who recalls the day she realized her lover would never leave his wife says, "I know how Sienna feels." [Daily Mail]
• Neil Patrick Harris on Anderson Cooper: "He's dreamy. Just dreamy." Anderson Cooper: "I'll have to start watching Neil's show." Hee! [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
• Beverly Johnson, the world's first black supermodel, is going on Tyra's talk show to discuss the modeling industry, race, age and weight. More black models in the spotlight! Please. [Page Six]
• Here's how you know it's a slow gossip day: Lily Allen yawned in front of her grandpa. And it's news. [The Sun]
• Jenna Jameson: Using lip collagen while pregnant. Not a good idea. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• Martin Bashir, the dude who interviewed Michael Jackson and Princes Di, went to the Asian American Journalists Association convention last month. In his keynote speech Bashir said, "I'm happy to be in the midst of so many Asian babes. In fact, I'm happy that the podium covers me from the waist down." He was booed. [Rush & Molloy]
• Seth Rogen says Pineapple Express is not a pot movie. "I think this is just a movie about guys who smoke weed." [Rush & Molloy]
• Peter Berg was a passenger in a Cadillac back in 2006 when the car allegedly hit a golf cart. The driver of the golf cart was killed; Berg is now being sued. Berg is an actor-turned-director whom you may have seen in Alias, Chicago Hope or Smokin' Aces. [TMZ]
• Usher's mom is once again his manager. Lackluster album sales could be the reason he dumped famed manager Benny Medina. Then again, do people buy records anymore? [People]
• Kate Moss swapped lives for a day with her daughter's nanny, as a gift for the nanny's 60th birthday. The nanny had a champagne breakfast, was taken out on a yacht and "lavished with gifts." By the by, the nanny — Mary Davidson — is Sadie Frost's mom. [The Sun]
• Did Paris Hilton memorize her lines for that FunnyOrDie video? Some say cue cards were not used; a source says "She couldn’t recite her address without a Teleprompter." [MSNBC]
• John Mayer made an onstage joke about "dream cheating," in which you make out with someone who is not your girlfriend in your dreams. Jennifer Aniston: Not amused. [MSNBC]
• Word is it takes $10,000 a month to look as good as Jennifer Aniston does. [The Sun]
• Joss Stone headbutted her brother in church. A baptism turned into a brawl when Joss was 30 minutes late. Jesus! [Mirror]
• A judge has dismissed a woman's wrongful termination claims against Bob Barker, former host of Price Is Right. This could be the moment for a "Price is wrong, bitch" joke but probably not. [Reuters]
• In a survey of 1,000 Londoners, 48% said they're sick of hearing news about Amy Winehouse. It would be awesome to hear that she's pulled it together, though. [Perez Hilton]
• Lisa Marie, Tim Burton's ex-fiancée, was suing the director, claiming he offered her cash to walk away from their relationship. The California Court of Appeal has dismissed the case. [TMZ]
• Speaking of Tim Burton, Johnny Depp has been cast as the Mad Hatter in Burton's version of Alice In Wonderland. [ONTD]
• A California hip-hop label is suing Mary J. Blige and her producer for stealing tunes. No more drama! [NY Post]
• Betty White explains why she and the other Golden Girls didn't go to Estelle Getty's funeral: "We were with Estelle when it mattered. Paul, her wonderful caretaker, knew I wasn't going to her funeral. Funerals are about [journalism]… who was there and who wasn't? That's not about Estelle. We adored her. To tell you the truth, her passing is tough on us, but it's a blessing for her. She's been so ill for so long, she's in a better place now, wherever she is." [ET]
• "I'm such a work in progress at the moment, it's crazy, and life wants me on edge, I swear to you. But as long as I don't forget the past, I'm cool. One must always be mindful, just like you might forget that old girlfriend who tried to slit your throat, but she's really still hot. If you remember the stitches more than you remember the pussy, you're going to be just fine." — Robert Downey Jr. in Rolling Stone. [E!]

• French police say that paparazzi wearing camouflage (!) got on to the grounds of Angelina and Brad's chateau and scuffled with security guards on the property yesterday. Both sides filed legal complaints accusing the other of battery/injury (bruises, scratches, nothing serious.) Angie and Brad need guard dogs. So they can be all, "Smithers, release the hounds." [AP]
• "I won't hide for you that this kind of thing is really not the type of problem that interests us," says police captain Olivia Poupot. "There are, in my opinion, far more important things than paparazzi taking photos of a glamor couple." [Yahoo News]
• Christian Bale on his alleged assault against his mom and sister: "It’s a deeply personal matter." [The Sun]
• This was in Midweek Madness but seems like it actually might be true: Sean "Diddy" Combs, 38, is engaged to singer Cassie, 21. Good luck? [Star]
• Kirsten Dunst is directing a documentary about why Americans vote on Tuesday. Blame the farmers, people. Blame the farmers. [NY Magazine]

• Rachel Weiz is shooting a spread for Vogue and it could be Halloween-related, or she and this small child could be wearing copious amounts of feathers because chicken hawk is the new black. [The.Life Files]
• Samantha Morton is making her directorial debut with a drama for Channel 4 about a little girl growing up in a children's home. She says: "I was in care, but this film isn't about me." [Guardian]
• Danny Glover has had trouble raising funds for his movie about Haitian independence hero Toussaint-Louverture. "Producers said 'It's a nice project, a great project... where are the white heroes?'" Uh, seriously? [Breitbart]
• Justin Long remains "distraught" about his breakup with Drew Barrymore and has dropped out of the rollerderby comedy Whip It!, which is Drew's directorial debut. A source says: "He couldn't stand working with her and not being with her. He's too upset. She dumped him. She was hot and cold. One minute she was in love with him and the next she wanted to break up with him." [Yahoo News]
• Pete Doherty was in court yesterday, admitting to roughing up a paparazzo. Pete had to pay $2,000 in fees. (The incident happened last August.) [Yahoo News]
• "She sure knows how to milk publicity and create a publicity stunt." — Pharrell Williams on Madonna. [Mirror]
• Johnny Depp is turning his 40-acre getaway in the Bahamas into an eco-home. Solar hydrogen technology and whatnot. If you would gladly visit the location for an exhaustive investigative study to make sure all is well, raise your hand. [The Sun]
• Simon & Schuster is suing Foxy Brown and Lil' Kim, claiming the two rappers never delivered manuscripts for which they were paid book advances. Maybe because both ladies went to jail shortly after signing deals? [AP]
• It's official: The Brit papers are obsessed with Peaches Geldof. She was supposed to cover an iTunes festival on TV but the "bosses" are furious about reports that she OD'd recently. Also, Peaches has a new tattoo which this paper calls a noose but looks like a light bulb. [The Sun]
• "The original Klaatu was warm and fuzzy, more human than humans. I’m not that guy." — Keanu Reeves on his alien character in the December flick The Day The Earth Stood Still. [LA Times]
• James Iha and D'Arcy Wretzky-Brown, former Smashing Pumpkins members, are suing Virgin Records, claiming the label shut them out of profits after signing a deal with frontman Billy Corgan. All I have to say about this is that 1979 is a great song. [Yahoo News]
• Been seeing the posters around town: Pam Anderson is in a new reality show. Why? "I'm not worried about cleaning up my image," she says. "You know how you do things, and you don't really know why you're doing them until the end? I don't know why I'm doing this yet. I'm just know I'm an exhibitionist. Some people are afraid to be found. I'm afraid not to be found. It's one of those weird opportunities. And it was an incredible deal." [LA Times]
• Little Feud On The Prairie, hahaha. Nellie Olson in the news! [TMZ]
• The Kim Kardashian vs. Shanna Moakler showdown is really too boring to write about. [Yahoo News]
• Here's more on Shanna and Kim. Are they technically even celebrities? [Page Six]
• Kim Kardashian is buying wedding magazines and planning a ceremony not because she's engaged but so that "whenever I get asked there won’t be any drama." Wait, what? [People]
• Congrats to Marisa Jaret Winokur, who welcomed a son on Tuesday. Zev Isaac Miller, who was carried by a surrogate mother, weighed 8 pounds, 7 ounces and measured 21 inches long. Winokur is a cervical cancer survivor. [E!]
• Meg Ryan in a fat suit. For a movie, of course. She says: "I like a character who is all about transformation. She was enormous, and now she's foxy." [Daily Mail via ONTD]
• Producer Scott Storch is facing foreclosure on his $10 million Miami home. Tough times. [Page Six]
• Daisy Lowe is asking boyf Mark Ronson to help with the music for her mom's wedding. [Mirror]
• Elizabeth Berkley has an unscripted project for MTV: She does workshops around the country (called Ask-Elizabeth) with teen girls and gets them to open up about their issues, like self-esteem and body image; the show will be a documentary of sorts, featuring Elizabeth and the kids. Hopefully the girls won't Google Image Showgirls. [Reuters]
• "We met on the show. And we tried to keep it very professional on the show because we were both there for our careers, and we didn’t expect this to come out of it. But I’m really happy." Project Runway's Wesley, who is dating Project Runway's Daniel. [People]
• Leo DiCaprio's next project cold be a Twilight Zone movie. [Reuters]
• A Russian version of The Office! [Brietbart]
• John Cleese on his ex-wife. "Guess how much I'm paying her? £900,000 a year. And we had no children. It is astonishing." Bitter, party of one. [Mirror]
• Mick Jagger turns 65 on Saturday, making him eligible for state pension: $180 a week. Dude's fortune is estimated at $450 million, btw. [Reuters]
• "I think this one will be such a success, it will be difficult to do a sequel because we've done one and we've topped it, obviously, and now we've got to top this. That is difficult. That is difficult because we've already broken the box office (record) in American movie history. We've got to break our own record. It's hard." — Michael Caine on doing a Dark Knight sequel. [MSNBC]

The Good
Kristin Davis shone like a fancy piece of Hanukkah gelt.
Anna Wintour looks like my mom, which is awesome for my mom but...well, I guess it's awesome for Anna too.
Lorraine Bracco, aka the former Dr. Melfi, has a PhD in cute shoes.
The only thing missing from Cynthia Nixon's ensemble is her cute, ginger girlfriend.
I think Lydia Hearst looks great in what is probably Heatherette, although she didn't need the hippie necklace.
Oh Idina! You look lovely. Mazel Tov.
Perry Farrell looks like a God, as usual, and his lady-friend looks like a window display at Agent Provocateur. (Yes, that's good. We want more of that).
Amy Sedaris is a genius, and her outfit has a perfectly spring-appropriate color palette.
Check and mate! You done good SJP.

The Bad
Eli Manning? Don't mind if I do! But who's the lady in the confusing-print dress?
Kim Catrall's dress looks like it's doused in dollar bills.
I love that Lil Kim was there, but I don't love that she's wearing what looks like second-hand H&M.
I don't care for this dress on Michelle Williams. It's too, "Call Tina Knowles and get me something from the House of Dereon to wear to the Sex In The City premiere!"

The Ugly
Even Miss Piggy was there! (Joke, it's Nicole Forrester, who probably doesn't even know who Miss Piggy is).
Tranny? It's Tranny. It's Solid Gold Ferocia Tranny. It's Studio 54 via Project Runway Tranny. Tranny. (Sorry, that joke will never get old for me. Thanks, Amy Poehler).

[Images via Getty]

• Ellen DeGeneres is so psyched about the California Supreme Court ruling regarding gay marriage that she's gonna get hitched to longtime love Portia de Rossi. Woohoo! It would be kind of awesome if they did it on TV. And then danced! [TMZ]
  
• Pregnant Angelina Jolie will be looking "sexy" on the July cover of Vanity Fair; she was shot by Patrick Demarchelier. Wonder if he'll have her Photoshopped? [Page Six]
  
• Click here if you need info on Angelina's tattoos. [Sydney Morning Herald]
  
• Angelina will probably give birth in France, FYI. [USA Today]
  
• Angelina's dad Jon Voight is all riled up over Israel: "God gave this land to the Jewish people; they shouldn't be giving it away," he says. But, um, Voight is not Jewish. [Mirror]
  
• "If I punched every bitch who called me fat, it would be dead bitches all up and down the highway." — Star Jones. [Page Six]

• Just two weeks after marrying Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon is driving a new car: the $120,000 Maserati Quattroporte. Did Drumline profits pay for it? [TMZ]
• Ali Lohan swears that even though sister Lindsay hangs with Sam Ronson, she is not a lezebel. "They're best friends. They're just friends. It's pathetic what people say," Ali claims. [Perez Hilton]
• Here's a book for your Amazon wish list: Hollywood Babylon: It's Back has full-frontal nudes of stars like Mick Jagger, Daniel Radcliffe, Ewan McGregor, John Malkovich, James Woods and Richard Gere. Plus! Stories about the size of other actors; Johnny Depp was known as "donkey dick" and an art student who sketched Sean Connery years ago swears, "It was the biggest I've ever seen. It made me drop my charcoal pencil." [Rush & Molloy]
• As previously reported, Britney Spears and Mel Gibson are on vacay together in Costa Rica. Also along for the adventure are Brit's dad Jamie and Mel's wife Robin, as well as some "unidentified youngsters." Apocalypto! [E!]
• An L.A. band says there's a Miley Cyrus song that sounds suspiciously like one of theirs. Miley's rep says, "She doesn't write the songs - she sings them. We have referred this to Disney." Ah, well, okay then. [Page Six]
• Hulk Hogan has written letters to the court trying to get his son Nick a softer sentence; Hulk says Nick isn't the wild kid people see on TV because their reality show "is scripted." [TMZ]
• American Idol alum Taylor Hicks will join the cast of Grease on Broadway. [ET]
• Duran Duran are in the news! They rerouted their world tour to perform for Deutsche Bank staffers; then the show got canceled. Now they're hungry like the wolf. Don't say a prayer for them now, save it til the morning after. [Mirror]
• Sheryl Crow has a new boyfriend; he's a restauranteur and pilot from Alabama. He can fly home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. [MSNBC]
• Movie-industry private investigator Anthony Pellicano has been found guilty of conspiracy after wiretapping and harassing a string of celebrities, including Garry Shandling, Kevin Nealon, Sylvester Stallone and Keith Carradine. [Portfolio]
• Rapper DMX has pleaded not guilty to felony drug possession and misdemeanor animal cruelty charges. [Yahoo News]
• Jury selection is complete in the trial of R. Kelly! Maybe the trial will finally begin? [Mirror]
• Ryan Kavanaugh, the executive producer of 21, smitten with Natalie Portman? What will Devendra Banhart say? [Page Six]
• Kanye West performed with four topless dancers wearing space helmets and made $1 million. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which TV legend likes to play dirty in the bedroom? The larger-than-life fella ties up his conquests with bathrobes - and takes breaks from "satisfying" the girls only to snort piles of coke." [Rush & Molloy]
• Lil' Kim won $500,000 in a lawsuit against a former fellow Junior M.A.F.I.A. member. That kind of cash will get her some nice fingernails. [Vibe]
• Dennis Rodman has been charged with battery and domestic violence after allegedly hitting his girlfriend last month in an L.A. hotel. Rodman is currently in a rehab facility, but he told TMZ "I've never hit anyone." [TMZ]
• Kelly Osbourne has a new boyfriend named Luke. [Mirror]
• "The handbags alone were heavenly. I'm a handbag girl, so I was just salivating. Every time a new purse came into the wardrobe room I'd get so excited. People would walk in with arms full of bags, just trying to decide which one my character should use that day. Just flipping through them, one more beautiful than the next. I was stunned... Next time I will make sure I put a clause into my contract that I get to keep all my purses." — Jennifer Hudson, on the Sex And The City movie. [Mirror]

• Mariah Carey, 38, is engaged to Wild 'N Out star Nick Cannon, 27. Yeah, weird. Did you even know they knew each other? [Access Hollywood]
  
• And, um, the ring Nick gave Mariah is the same one he gave his former fiancé, Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks. That is just Tackée Harry. [Perez Hilton]
  
• Madonna humped Justin Timberlake in during her show at New York City's Roseland. The more things change, the more they stay the same, no? [E!]
  
• A second nanny in the Rob Lowe case has filed a cross complaint and it says that Rob's wife Sheryl sexually harassed her by walking around naked and asking about the size of the nanny's boyfriend's penis. (Apparently the boyfriend is a 7 foot former NBA player.) But yeah, from an employer? Ew. [TMZ]
  
• The nanny also says the wife was "perverted, disgusting and crude." [People]
  
• Meanwhile, Rob Lowe's lawyer says the allegations are false, obvs. [People]

• Michelle Williams and daughter Matilda have been "hounded out" of New York by continued harrassment from paparazzi. She's considering leaving her home in Brooklyn. [News.com.au]
• Amy Winehouse is now rumored to be sleeping with Babyshambles guitarist Mik Whitnall. So in addition to Blake Wood and Alex Haines, she's keeping busy while Blake Incarcerated is away. If these rumors are true, that is. [The Sun]
• John Mayer: Seen not flirting with girls. Maybe he's actually into Jennifer Aniston? [Page Six]
• Aww, Jen and John "already miss each other." Hey, whatever makes you happy. [People]
• Kate Moss is moving a man into her home, but it's not her boyfriend Jamie Hince; it's her hairdresser, James Brown. He feels good. [Mirror]
• Lindsay Lohan's dad: Getting engaged to girlfriend Erin Page. How will LL feel about getting a stepmom? [Page Six]
• Um, Lindsay's new album will feature a song written by Snoop Dogg. For shizzle. [The Sun]
• Old news blind item: "Which celebrity dad is just as rebellious as his starlet daughter? The troubled parent wears a ring through a piercing on his nether regions." [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which wonky reality show star quietly checked into a California rehab center only to head for the exits when the staff said they would be searching her bags? Wait, you mean you can't take drugs into rehab?" [Rush & Molloy]
• Britney Spears will be spending a supervised Mother's Day with her sons; she bought Sean Preston and Jayden James t-shirts that read "Mama's Boy." [Rush & Molloy]
• The repo man took Lil' Kim's Bentley away, sob! [TMZ]
• Pete Wentz is being suing by a dude who claims Pete beat him up at a Fall Out Boy show last year. Dude, that's not something you admit. [TMZ]
• Edie Falco adopted a baby girl from Florida. Daughter Macy joins older brother Anderson, who is 3. Congrats! [People]
• Rosie O'Donnell no longer has a crush on Tom Cruise; adjust accordingly. [MSNBC]
• Meanwhile, Tom Cruise's two-part Oprah interview includes candid talk about his personal life: Suri, Katie and Scientology. Tune in Friday and Monday to see. [Yahoo News]
• Tina Turner, 68: Going on tour! [AP]
• Usher wants to team up with Michael Bublé and John Mayer. Musically. You know, singing. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Diddy's in the booze biz, you know that, right? He's the brand manager for Ciroc Vodka. [Variety]
• T.R. Knight MIGHT marry his boyfriend, UCLA student Marc Cornelsen, on June 4 when Knight hosts the Matthew Shepard Foundation's group commitment ceremony for same-sex couples in West Hollywood. There's really no indication that he will, but it would be awesome. [E!]

[New York, January 31. Image via Splash.]

Or, as Dodai pointed out, perhaps Foxy just borrowed the idea for her album cover from this movie, the same way she borrowed her name from it.

Mary J. Blige Clips From Life After Death DVD [YouTube, via Sandra Rose]