• Tom Ford has spoken: eyebrow wiggling is now a sign of displeasure. "I haven't had any plastic surgery — despite what people think, this is my nose...I have had Restylane and Botox, but I don't think of that as plastic surgery any more. It's true I can't really frown, but I can move my eyebrows, so..." [Guardian]
• Well, at least Manolo Blahnik is less ridiculous! Oh, wait. "Manolo Blahnik tumbles into the room wearing an extremely dapper royal-purple suit, purple and yellow knitted tie, orange suede shoes and black circular glasses à la Le Corbusier. He stretches out his hand, and when I shake it he squeaks in pain, shaking, then retracting it." [Independent]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier, maybe? “'I did a revue with my teddy bear at home...I pretended he had breasts. The first cone bra I did was for my teddy bear, not for Madonna. I had a strawberry box for the stage, and I put a lot of feathers on my teddy bear for the headdress. I used feathers from my cleaning brush for the finale.'” [NYT]
• Come. on, Zac Posen, redeem your industry: "Puppies, babies and plastic surgery are the new fashion. That's where fashion's going." [Big Think]

• It's official: Project Runway saved from a fate worse than death, aka Lifetime Television for Women. [NY Mag]
• "Ironically, runways in the nation that brought us an all-black Vogue were not only less diverse than New York's but disappointingly white." [Shophound]
• The sale of YSL's art collection — which includes Picassos, a Matisse, a Leger and a Mondrian — is expected by auctioneers to bring in 440 billion dollars. [Breitbart]
• The Stylista contestants revealed! One of them is named Cologne. [NY Mag]
• This Lancome lip gloss and this Marc Jacobs shirt kind of look alike. [Glam Chic]
• The Queen's preferred dressmaker on the verge of collapse! Experts suggest it, um, failed to move with the times. [Telegraph]
• In a weird coincidence, the designer of Diana's wedding dress is going under, too. [Daily Mail]
• The Sergio Rossi-Puma sneaker heel is the stuff nightmares are made of. [Fashionista]
• Kate Moss apparently "snogs the face off" some Vivienne Westwood cohort. [Mirror]
• The Eastpak allegedly "reinvented" by Raf Simons. That's what they said about cafeteria food. [LA Times]
• Shoes are apparently a better investment than stocks. Although not, presumably, if you walk in them. Cue Carrie Bradshaw reference. [Business Sheet]
• "On Monday, men's magazine GQ India hits the newsstands, following in the footsteps of other male-only publications such as Men's Health, Maxim, and FHM, and experts are saying this is further proof that Indian men are embracing more global fashions." Pictured: an Indian guy in what appears to be a gold leather Harlequin outfit and bow-tie. [Reuters]
• Burberry Children's to bring overpriced (adorable) mini duffel coats to U.S. market. [WWD]
• Lenny Kravitz barred from Ric Owens show; sneaks in anyway. [Style.com]
• "Over the last year, Mr. Margiela, known as fashion’s “Invisible Man” because he never gives interviews and has rarely been photographed, has told colleagues that he wants to stop designing and that he has begun a search for his successor at the house." So...how will anyone know? [NY Times]
• Speculation rampant that Plum Sykes querying Guardian style column. Okay, not really. [Guardian]
• We can't really wrap our heads around the new Pat Field for venerable frump-purveyor Marks and Sparks line, so will probably stick to weeping. [The Sun]
• Fashion feels the credit crunch. [WWD]
• Gareth Pugh brings back the Elizabethan ruff. [ElleUK]

• Poor Rachel Zoe! "I thought: I've done blood, sweat and tears for 15 years — why am I the victim here? I have had the nastiest things said about me! I don't understand." [NY Post]
• Shockingly, the CFDA's "Health Booth" (which educates fashionistas about eating) is deserted. [NY Mag]
• You already knew Sean Lennon was an ass: Spotted at Fashion Week, the modelizer "wore a magisterial women's coat with gold buttons and a top hat decorated with Native American bands. His girlfriend, Charlotte Kemp Muhl, wore a coyote headdress." [NY Mag]
• Justin Timberlake brings pissy back at his William Rast show. [WWD]
• Punk legend Malcolm McLaren accuses son and Agent Provocateur founder Joe Corre of counterfeiting punk duds. "I think my son actually used – maybe – the original labels, because we didn't use them all up...There'd be a roll of ribbon around in the workroom and maybe my son got a hold of those. I think he did this before he set up Agent Provocateur. Or in order to set up Agent Provocateur and fund it, he made a number of these fake clothes and sold them to dealers in Japan." [Independent]

• Speaking of Agent Provocateur: there's a new ad campaign! "Chanelling the gothic decadence of Hogarth, Caravaggio, Rubens and Delaroche’s Execution of Lady Jane Grey, it is a seething orgiastic scene of girls on top, girls on girls and boys and beasts. Peaches (Geldof) and Daisy Lowe, the bad girls du jour, both star, as does the flame-haired American actress Paz de la Huerta, who holds court over a sacrifice of a topless virgin, accompanied by two male cohorts — David Bailey’s Byronesque son, Fenton, and a 21-year-old albino boy named Alex." [Times of London]
• Intrepid fashionistas weather the storm at Fashion Week; Tory Burch even went barefoot! [NY Mag]
• Um, ex-squeeze us? Lifetime, the Project Runway-stealer, is delaying the premiere of the show's sixth season until January 2009. Resentment mounting. [Yahoo]
• Are we the only ones who are totally sick of hockey player/budding fashionista Sean Avery? Now he's decorated some booth at hot spot Beatrice Inn with sunflowers. [Style.com]
• Apparently lacking creativity, designers start predicting trends via computer programs. [NY Times]
• Knockoff jeans even bigger than knockoff bags! [UPI]
• The political tee market is also booming. Yes, Obama's outselling Mac. [NPR]
• The Mulleavy sisters keep their Rodarte label personal and awesome. "In 2005, to introduce themselves to the fashion world, the Mulleavy sisters sent out 30 handmade paper dolls, each with a paper armoire containing seven paper dresses. 'I was inspired by Zelda Fitzgerald’s paper dolls,' explains Kate, who, like Fitzgerald, drew extensively accessorized wardrobes." [NY Times]
• Dolce and Gabbana take their inspiration from Queen Elizabeth: "In place of riotous floral and animal prints, hour-glass corsetry and itsy-bitsy skirts came Argyle knits, oversized kilts that fall to mid-calf, printed silk headscarves and sensible footwear." We are not amused. [The Independent]
• Almost all the shoes we wear are imported, "yet the U.S. still imposes a tax on imported shoes that can reach as high as 67%." [WSJ]
• More PR for Ivory Coast fashion, as Patricia De Medeiros reinvents traditional motifs in her line, Tradition Mode. [Reuters]
• Pat Field's collaboration with British frump-monger Marks and Spencer is a gamble. [Independent]
• Iconic model Veruschka releases coffee table tome: “'I can’t say that I have any favorite photographs,' she said. 'Though I do have some favorite memories of the days they were taken. Working with Avedon, for example, was always a joy. But then it was all joy because that was a joyous time.'” [Style.com]
• Scandal-plagued model Jodie Kidd comes by it naturally: her grandfather tried to bribe Winston Churchill. [This Is London]
• PETA crashes DKNY, does nothing. [NY Mag]
• Following a lackluster start, Halston feels the heat. [WSJ]
• YSL has reformulated (we're guessing this means butch packaging) its Touche Eclat concealer for the metrosexual set. Zac Efron rejoices! [Telegraph]
• The fashionistas heave a sigh of relief that both potential first ladies dig clothes. [Reuters]
• DKNY, CK, battle it out at their runway shows for "most New York" designer. Doesn't Karan automatically win by having "New York" in her name? [Guardian]
• Struggling to define itself, Old Navy shops ad agencies. Remember how cool it was when it opened? Can't they just rehire whoever did that? [AdWeek]

On being a Chanel fan:

"I started wearing her clothes — but they were knock-offs — when I was in my 20s and 30s because they worked for daytime or nighttime. I had knock-offs of everything she made and wore them everywhere. Audrey Hepburn turned me on to Chanel, and she told me that I should play Coco too."

On Karl Lagerfeld, whom she has never met:

"He wanted me to come to Paris for a fitting, but I am sorry. No. If he takes off his sunglasses and the gloves, maybe I'll go to Paris."

• I think we can all agree that there's a real dearth of trashy fashion lines by C-List stars. Thank god Tara Reid is filling the void with "Mantra." The new collection "includes t-shirts, dresses, bikinis, ponchos and hoodies decorated with beads and charms." [Perez Hilton]
• Which is good, because fellow I-don't-even-know-what-letter-Lister Kelly Osborne's reality show, Project Catwalk, was just dropped in the UK. [The Star]
• Janice on Tyra: "Nor did I ever get a note or call thanking me for helping to put her show on the map. Whatever. She’s not my favorite person." [NY Mag]
• Presses, stopped: "Barack Obama has a 33-inch waist, and his jacket is a 40 long." This info comes from his tailor! [Racked]

• This is how we want our birthdays celebrated from now on: "Rumor has it (Sonia) Rykiel’s daughter, Nathalie, has asked a host of international designers, including Karl Lagerfeld, Donna Karan and Jean Paul Gaultier, to design an outfit in the spirit of Rykiel to pay homage to the sweater queen as part of her jubilee." [WWD]
• Not surprisingly, French Vogue editrice Carine Roitfeld's Paris pad is huge, chic, less than cozy. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Just in time for alleged "Twilight vampire mania," black lipgloss is everywhere but on our mouths! [LAT]
• Both American Eagle and Chico's had better-than-expected profits, even though they had to slash prices/launch a "Debbie Phelps line" to do it. [NYT]
• Thanks to Nuclear Wintour, tennis has had the fashion seal of approval for a while now. No wonder Lacoste and Ralph Lauren can't keep tennis couture on the shelves! [WWD]
• Those of us getting nostalgic for the days when Madonna was awesome can check out icons of her sartorial career at a London exhibition next year. "Highlights of the 300-item show will include her iconic pink Material Girl dress, which she wore in the video to her 1985 hit, and the gown she wore playing Argentinian heroine Evita in the 1996 movie." [The Telegraph]
• Kate Moss talks dirty — or at least talks about talking dirty — in Interview, despite our specific injunctions to avoid speaking. Also does nude pictorial. (NSFW although it's "artistic.") [The Sun]
• And wanna see her in a Turkish bath? Knock yourselves out. [Fashionista]
• "Telephoning from his 152-foot navy-hulled yacht moored off the island of Capri,' Valentino acts exactly as one would wish an iconic Italian designer to. [BlackBook]
• Victoria's Secret model Doutzen Kroes: '"I always went over the top when I liked the guys! I would send flowers and love notes," the lovely blonde dished. "I'm sure they're laughing now, because they're like 'Oh, shoot!' But this was when I was 13. Men now send me flowers, and I like it that way,"' Oh, shut it. [Radar]
• Former model Carol Alt's novel: "I wanted to teach in an entertaining kind of way. I have a wealth of knowledge about the modeling industry and how to create a career, not just survive the season. I wanted to be able to teach the girls coming in to the business what it's all about and what to expect. Nobody tells them and they're shocked," [CBS News]
• "I Kissed A Girl" singer Katy Perry, and Betsey Johnson, who kissed Anna Nicole, love each other. [BlackBook]
• Lifetime piggybacks on its Runway coup with Blush: The Search for America's Greatest Makeup Artist. Two words, Lifetime: Top Design. [Variety]
• Olympic golden girls Nastia Liukin, Shawn Johnson, and Alicia Sacramone "will be the new faces of CoverGirl." Aren't they kinda young? [Chic and Untroubled via NY Mag]
• Elton John auctions deco brooch; apparently will fetch a lot of money. [The Star]
• J Crew's down; they're blaming "system upgrades" but I'm blaming "high prices." [WSJ]
• Mark Ronson's spinning at fashion week. I feel manipulated; why do I love them all of a sudden? [Fashion Week Daily]
• We're normally wary of fashion types co-opting lit cause they think it sounds cool or whatever, but the invites to Abigail Lorick (who does all the ghost designing for Gossip Girl's "fashion shows" nb) sounds genuinely rad: "it’s a battered copy of Virginia Woolf’s masterpiece “A Room of One’s Own,” all wrapped up in a silk scarf bow." [Style.com]
• London's Jewish Museum of Art launches an exhibit on "Schmatte Counture" that seems to have very little to do with either rags or fashion. [Telegraph]
• Free YSL bags! Well, sort of. "The limited edition cotton totes, designed by Stefano Pilati, are the latest wrinkle in the French house's ongoing "Manifesto" program, in which newspaper-style catalogues are handed out to women on the streets of key fashion cities. More than half a million copies of the catalogue will be distributed in Paris, New York, London, Milan, Tokyo and Hong Kong, with 5,000 in each city tucked into the black or white totes." [WWD]
• They're also hawking a $50-something bracelet. "For their latest fragrance and lip gloss (as seen on the cast of Gossip Girl, as well as model Coco Rocha), YSL did something major: They put both beauty items into tiny gold charms, attached them to a YSL bracelet, and sent them straight to Sephora." [Nylon]

• Elle UK is, for some reason, all agog over the 20-year-old celeb spawn, who they say has had some kind of chic makeover since turning 20. "It's official. We have a new style crush here at ELLE in the shape of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis' daughter Rumer." Well, to each her own, we say! [ElleUK]
• Rihanna models a look from Kanye West's new "Pastelle" clothing line. It kind of looks like she's wearing her dad's sweatshirt. [The Life Files]
• Designer John Varvatos (recently known for taking over punk emporium CBGB in New York and turning it into a high-end boutique) has a new baby girl: Thea. [P6]
• Remember that community garden Forever21's destroying in L.A.? It gets worse: "It's the former site of the South Central Farm - "where low-income, indigenous/immigrant Latino farmers grew food in the midst of a toxic industrial area for 14 years." Wait, Forever21's not an ethical company? But it's so cheap! [Feministe]

• Simon Doonan does his part for the economy with the new Barney's Catalog, which is centered around a narrative called "Emma's Dilemma." As Emma, model Coco Rocha is torn between two men and various luxury goods. '"The theme is, 'Oh just buy both,'" said Doonan, adding that even though the economy is fragile, the catalogue's message is right for these times. "Embedded in there is permission to be a little self-indulgent. It's a bit of glamorous self-indulgence." [WWD]
• Speaking of Cocos, the new Lifetime miniseries about Coco Chanel blows. "Shirley McLaine plays the "older" Chanel to Barbara Bobulova's younger incarnation, with the two apparently bearing "no resemblance to one another other than they both like a well-cut suit". [VogueUK]
• Narciso Rodriguez on the recession: “The economy is such that it’s a tough moment for everyone. We are happy we haven’t decreased the business in any way, but the company usually grows like 20 percent every year, and that hasn’t happened. We are trudging through this Bush mess and looking forward to the next steps.” They're also looking forward to a new fragrance. [WWD]
• Nautica, not an official Olympic sponsor, scores best product placement of the Beijing games: on Misty May-Treanor's forehead. [NYP]
• With back-to-school sales continuing to disappoint, retailers entice the young, predator-style, over the internet. Take Kohl's, who's selling a new line on Stardoll.com, "a virtual community for teens and tweens where kids can fork over "Stardollars" — purchased online at a nominal sum — to buy apparel for their online characters." It seems like, implicitly, retailers are hoping kids to a little clandestine shopping behind their penny-pinching parents' backs...[WSJ]
• Those "detox foot pads" that soak up all your toxins herbally and turn black overnight? Apparently they're frauds. [NPR]
• Foundering chain Steve and Barry's creditors probe a suspect $5 million loan. [WSJ]
• Gap pursues scorched earth policy, firing almost all its Euro designers. "The global chain will axe its European fashion design team from September, and is moving its advertising team to its US headquarters. It will, however, retain an in-house design team working on store design, visual merchandising and in-store events." [MediaBistro]
• Fendi makes hideous $575 patent hightop. Looks kind of like a 19th century work boot, only not a all utilitarian. [The Life Files]
• You know times are tough when even Target 's profits are down. [WWD]
• A California woman designs modest "halal" swimwear that covers the body. '"I understand most people are accustomed to not seeing a lot of clothing on the beach or in the water," Sabet said. "We don't want to look like freaks or stick out like sore thumbs for being so covered up on the beach, but I wanted to help make water activity accessible to Muslim women."' [UPI]
• Nearly "1,000 bra makers protested outside the German embassy in Bangkok on Tuesday in a labor dispute stemming from the vexed issue of whether Thais have the right not to stand up in honor of King Bhumibol Adulyadej." Basically, a union leader was sacked for wearing a politically-charged tee asserting her right to remain seated during the anthem, which is played before movies. It's an issue because the king has been traditionally been perceived as a semi-divinity and this view is meeting with increasing resistence. The bra company then fired her to avoid making waves; hence the protest. [Reuters]
• Mini courts the "creative class of New York" with its rooftop Fashion Week happening, '"curated" by
  Jefferson Hack, along with a performance by MGMT. ' [WWD]
• Model Gemma Ward "officially retiring" to pursue acting. [Sassybella]
• Vena Cava/Via Spiga (try saying that one five times fast) collaborate on capsule collection that could well be rad. [WWD]

• Well, someone is looking perky at 37. But who? Dodai likes this cover but I'm against stupid masks being used to conceal the mugs of celebrities I haven't seen enough of. I feel like the last I saw Claudia Schiffer was in her exercise video. [Telegraph]
  
• Celeb stylist Phillip Bloch got a little taste of Abu Ghraib when he got thrown out of a Kanye West concert at Madison Square Garden for hanging out with a bunch of teenage girls who were smoking pot. "They never asked for ID, never asked for my name. It was complete brutality," he says. [NY Post]
  
• "Remember, when our customer tightens their belt, it's generally ostrich or alligator." That's Neiman Marcus CEO Burt Tansky, just echoing Thomas Frank's sentiments on the ruins of the "man-made catastrophe that proceeded directly from the deliberate beatdown of organized labor and the wrecking of the liberal state." [Slate]
  
• Making one's rack look and feel respectable is hard enough without forcing bras to perform additional functions like transporting wine and crap, but leave it to the Japanese to invent a solar-powered bra that can charge a cell phone. [Reuters]

• "The Tailor is designed to be a resource for the man who has a keen sense of style and takes pride in his appearance, but doesn't take himself too seriously," said Bluefly Chief Executive Melissa Payner, on their new "store-within-a-store" concept "The Tailor," which she assures visitors will find to be "authoritative, not pretentious." And yes, she is talking about a website. [Crain's]
• What magazine will snag the Project Runway partnership now that the show is moving to Lifetime and ALL OF MEDIA has been upended? Well, Lifetime is co-owned by Hearst, which owns Marie Claire, which just signed ousted ELLE editor and Project Runway judge Nina Garcia, so...I mean, they could also give it to Cosmo... [WWD]

• God bless Vivienne Westwood for being so undeniably herself. Says the fashion designer-cum-philosopher: "I'd like to do less, but there are people dependent on me now. My thing has always been, just let me finish this pair of trousers and then I can read my book. We've all got to wear something, I suppose. So my advice would be to buy quality. Choose well. I think there's a certain status in seeing someone wearing the same thing over and over again." [Vogue UK]
  
• God bless Heidi Klum. She's just so wise: "[Take] time out for yourself so you can engage in an activity that you really enjoy. [Also, don't] neglect the romance in your life. [And] wear pretty lingerie if you don't want to feel schlumpy." [Vogue UK]
  
• God bless Donatella Versace for saying at the Times Talks on Sunday that her fashion motto is "Don't let the rappers wear more bling than you do!" and that she hopes to be reincarnated as Maya Rudolph. [Fashion Week Daily]

• God bless Agent Provocateur co-founder Joe Corre (who is, incidentally, also the son of Vivienne Westwood) for making his brand's latest advertising campaign, fronted by Kate Moss, actually about his feelings of disdain regarding the Vatican and Catholicism. The apple clearly does not fall far from the tree. [NYMag]
• God bless the Project Runway producers for sticking to their guns and maintaining contracts with NBC rather than following their bastardized show to Lifetime. [Yahoo]
• God bless Burberry for not using Agyness Deyn in its next advertising campaign. [Fashionista]
• God bless Jack White and Karen Elson for seemingly non-stop sex. [Globe and Mail]
• God bless model/tsunami survivor Petra Nemacova for making big money in real estate. [Page Six]
• God bless Margerita Missoni for deigning to look at apartments in Alphabet City, NYC. [Fashionista]
• God bless Giorgio Armani for sorta slighting the Met when talking about last night's Costume Institute Gala: "The superheroes theme is both topical and modern and will, I believe, attract a wider audience than usual to the Costume Institute. I am looking forward to welcoming everyone." (Let us not forget in his first press conference regarding the exhibit, he managed to insult Anna Wintour.) [Vogue UK]
• God bless alice+olivia designer Stacey Bendet, who is reportedly pregnant with baby number one. [Page Six]

• More rumored changes for The Greatest Show On Earth, Project Runway: Season 6 of the show, the first to be broadcast on Lifetime, may feature "More Than A Pretty Face" magazine Marie Claire in lieu of Elle as the affiliated fashion magazine sponsor. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Whoah: Are New York Times fashion critic Cathy Horyn and Skeletor/stylist Rachel Zoe more similar than we could have ever imagined? Possibly, if it's true that Cathy Horyn was also mysteriously not invited to the dinner and dancing portion of tonight's Costume Institute festivities. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• And what does legendary costume designer Bob Mackie not like about the fashion industry? "Doing a fashion show that's on for 20 minutes and then it's over and everybody runs to the next one. Nobody sings, nobody dances, nobody tells jokes. I found it quite unsatisfying." I second that emotion. [WWD, sub req'd]

• It's so hard to be Gossip Girl's Penn Badgley: "I wear a lot of Burberry at events and the brand's been really supportive of me since the beginning. On the show, we wear H&M suits." [Fashion Week Daily]
• Sex and the City costume designer/fun drunk lesbian Pat Field: Now designing Diet Coke bottles. [FabSugar]
• More pearls of wisdom from Tim Gunn: "Always keep your tux jacket closed in photos." [Page Six]
• Starring in the latest Gap ads are actors Ginnifer Goodwin, Liv Tyler, Hugh Dancy, Fabcon Clemence Poesy, Catalina Moreno, Edgar Ramirez, photographers Scott Schuman (The Sartorialist) and Ryan McGinley, and also Marchesa designer Georgina Chapman, model Chanel Iman, Visioniare's Cecilia Dean, and Princess Coldstare herself, Leigh Lezark. [FabSugar]
• Leona Lewis: The latest celeb to believe she can be a fashion designer. A vegan fashion designer, that is. Watch your back, Portman and McCartney. [Fashionista]
• Lord & Taylor is launching a new "reality" advertising campaign, with TV and radio spots featuring real customers "ambushed' in their stores by "celebrity stylist" Robert Verdi and quizzed on their shopping experiences. Oh Lord. [WWD, sub req'd]
• WWD asks: "Tax Rebate Checks: Will They Spend Or Will They Save?" [WWD, sub req'd]
• More stars coming to tonight's Vogue and Armani-sponsored Costume Institute gala: Kate Bosworth, Thandie Newton, Audrey Tatou, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jourdan Dunn, Elettra Rossellini Wiedemann, and Roberto Bolle will all be there. In other words: Lots of good photos for us to dish on tomorrow. [WWD, 1st item]
• Also: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Gisele Bündchen and Tom Brady, Scarlett Johansson, Iman and David Bowie, Sofia Coppola, Karen Elson and Helena Christensen. [Vogue UK]
• Mary Alice Stephenson (formerly the fashion director at Harper's Bazaar and the co-host of America's Most Smartest Model on Vh1) is shooting a special for E! on tonight's festivities, set to air May 8th for the viewing pleasure of us plebs. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Elle editors might have put Kelly Clarkson on the cover of the mag, but that doesn't mean they think she's very fashionable. [Page Six]
• Marc Jacobs: Now in Moscow. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Former model Josie Maran may have fake breasts tits. [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• The fashion on Gossip Girl? Kinda crazy. But that's why we love it so. [EW]
• The rock stars today? The just don't dress like they used to. [LATimes]

• "We'll get her," says Harvey Weinstein of ELLE's Nina Garcia (Weinstein) is being sued for breach of contract for taking Project Runway from Bravo to Lifetime. While Weinstein is probably the first person to say anything about wanting to continue to work with Garcia, we find his statement more creepy than encouraging. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• "I am fine alone now, but not when I'll be 90," says Giorgio Armani of having a private equity firm get involved in his business. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• "Buying vintage or revamping clothes and making things myself is my take on helping the environment." Oh bite me, Zooey Deschanel. [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• "I used to consider myself Italian, but now I feel very European." —Margherita Missoni. [Fashion Week Daily]

• PETA is trying to make nice with Beyonce and has issued a statement congratulating the pop star on her marriage to Jay-Z. They even sent her a faux fur stole as a wedding gift. Aw. [Sassybella]
• Wanna be on top? Says Sarah Doukas, who discovered Kate Moss: "You need the cheekbones, you need the jaw-line. You can look at someone who is gorgeous but perhaps has quite a round face, without the definition that you need for a camera and light to turn it into this fantastic canvas." How not encouraging. [Vogue UK]
• Tommy Hilfiger has his own TV channel. On the internet, that is. The just-launched Tommy TV will not be about fashion, however, but music. Says Hilfiger: "I became a fashion designer because of music and music has remained at the heart of Tommy Hilfiger." [WWD]
• Today is not Talbot's happiest day: Bank of America and HSBC are both pulling their lines of credit from the company. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Liz Claiborne Inc. wants someone to buy its fragrance holdings. Good luck with that, friends. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Marc by Marc Jacobs design director Fred Tremblay is leaving the label, or so the rumors go, to head to Coach. [WWD, 1st item]
• The latest expansion of the Vera Wang Bridal brand? Bed linens. Perfect for losing your virginity on top of on your wedding night, naturally! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Fendi: Busy busting counterfeiters. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Jim Belushi's wife, Jenny: Has a children's clothing store. [WWD, sub req'd]
• The Lord & Taylor logo: Indecipherable. [BusinessWeek]
• Nike and Adidas: Fighting over soccer star Zhang Zhi. [Guardian]
• Recession. No one's buying. Prices dropping. The end. [MSNBC]
• Accessory designer Jessie Randall says a "pootie" is a cross between a pump and a bootie. I say it's a vagina. You? [WSJ]

Let me put it this way: "Television For Women" does not equal "Television For The Gays And The Folks Who Love The Gays And Folks Who Are Actually Just Inherently Interested In Design." Bravo has ingeniously marketed itself as the home of the thinking (wo)man's pop culture. It isn't just good bad TV, but plain ol' good TV. I challenge anyone to say the same about anything on Lifetime, without even the slightest hint of irony. Clearly, there is some audience for the saccharine froth being served up by the television equivalent of light FM, but it is not the Project Runway audience.

What's to come for The Greatest Show On Earth? Will there be competitions like "Design an outfit for a nice-girl-in-bad-circumstances using food stamps to purchase your supplies"? Or "Whip up an ensemble for a mother whose child has been kidnapped from her by her ex-husband and now has to take a covert flight to an unnamed Middle Eastern country to save her daughter" ? Will the Lifetimeization of Project Runway mean Heidi hosts while pregnant, except she will actually look bloated and matronly, thus tapping into the hearts of "real" women everywhere? Will Michael Kors cut back on the sass, exchanging his signature bitchy evaluations for crocodile tears? Will Nina stop giving verbal evaluations and saunter right over to the runway to hug the contestants? Can one be bitchy on Lifetime? Who knows, maybe the new network will allow for some cross-promotion: Can't you just see To ELLE And Back: The Nina Garcia Story as the next Lifetime Original Movie?

In Bed With 'Runway': A Lifetime Story [NYT]

*Inspired by Shirley MacLaine's assertion that the best parts for actresses fall into one of the above categories

Kate Hudson in Big Eyes: Hudson plays Margaret Keane, the artist that did all those creepy paintings of women with giant peepers. According to Variety: "The drama covers Keane's personal awakening at the onset of the feminist movement, leading to a lawsuit she filed against her husband, Walter, who claimed credit for her works." Verdict: initially a victim, she eventually triumphs over adversity. Sounds like this one is: ok!

Brittany Murphy in Across the Hall and possibly Poor Things: Across the Hall seems to be based on a short horror film of the same name starring Adrien Grenier, which focuses on a man, his fiancée (Murphy's character) and the man's best friend. Murphy's betrothed claims she's having an affair and brings his bff to come spy on her at a seedy motel. Unclear what happens next (it would likely be a spoiler) but with this limited information it seems like Murphy plays the victim. I imagine that motel room will be caked with her brains at some point before the end of the full length film. Poor Things was originally a Lohan vehicle, but Linds had to pull out because of that whole rehab thingy. Murphy is being considered for the Lohan role — as a female con artist who befriends homeless men and then murders them so the she and her partner can collect the insurance money. The character sounds morally crappy, but is neither hooker, nor victim, nor doormat. Verdict: ok!

Robin Wright Penn, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Monica Bellucci, Winona Ryder, Julianne Moore, all in Pippa Lee: Penn plays a 50-something woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown because her husband leaves her for a young chippy — played by Winona Ryder. Bellucci plays the first wife, Gyllenhaal plays Penn's pill-addled mother in flashbacks, and Julianne Moore plays a lesbian novelist (not really sure how she fits into the plot, but I like the sound of it). Verdict: Robin Wright-Penn — victim/doormat; Winona Ryder — hooker; Monica Bellucci — not enough info to go on, so we're gonna say ok; Maggie Gyllenhaal: victim of own neurosis/pill popping; Moore: ok!

Heather Locklear in Flirting With 40: In this holiday-themed Lifetime made-for-tv movie, Locklear plays a 40-year-old divorcee who meets a much younger man on vacation, and, according to Reuters, "learns that life can begin at 40." Apparently Lifetime execs learned that they can lift an entire plot from How Stella Got Her Groove Back with no apparent repercussions! Though it must be said that Heather Locklear is no Angela Bassett, not by a mile. Verdict: ugh, total victim! If she thought her life was over at 40 she's a damn fool.

WGA Announces Member Meetings For Saturday [Deadline Hollywood Daily]
Kate Hudson To Star In 'Big Eyes' [Variety]
Murphy Enters "Hall"; Eyed For Lohan Role In "Poor" [Reuters]
Four More Booked For 'Pippa Lee' [Hollywood Reporter]
Locklear "Flirting" With Lifetime [Reuters]

With its rude, slutty and unapologetic programming, Oxygen is clearly Samantha. Strippers fellating beer bottles, plastic surgery advocating Janice Dickinson and her modeling agency, and re-runs of Absolutely Fabulous just scream Samantha with their combination of glitter, foul mouths and trash. (Remember when Carrie caught Samantha blowing the UPS guy? Total Oxygen material.)

Wedding-obsessed WE: Women's Entertainment is Charlotte. WE has four shows devoted to the wedding-industrial complex: Bridezillas, Platinum Weddings, My Big, Fat Fabulous Wedding, and Rich Bride, Poor Bride. [Jesus. -Ed.] WE also reflects Charlotte's overwhelming sense of entitlement (of course she deserved a multimillion dollar Park Avenue apartment as compensation for a failed marriage!). Of WE's newest offering, Party Mama$, Patterson opines, the level of entitlement has "previously [been] seen only on MTV's My Super Sweet 16".

Finally, Lifetime, the old guard of women's television channels, is Carrie. Lifetime has a serious side, like Carrie, with its made-for-TV movies about "terminal diseases and/or children in peril." But, as Patterson says, Lifetime is "quaint and mildly daffy," with its Will & Grace reruns and embrace of psychics. Just like Carrie, who enjoys a "mildly daffy" pun, loves hanging out with her main gay Stanford, and is always wearing those mystical head wraps!

But whither Miranda? Where's the kind of judgmental, career woman-oriented programming? I guess Star Jones does have that show on Court TV, and Miranda does say the phrase "I'm a lawyer," at least once per episode, but it's not really a perfect match. Television executives take note! A major hole in lady viewing must be filled post-haste!

Who's the Fairest of Them All?: A comparison of all of the women's television network [Slate]

Earlier: Bad Girls Club: Stripper Mom and Porn Star Have Threesome With Dude