Millihelen Is Dead, Long Live Millihelen

From the day we started this here “beauty” blog, it’s felt like we’re getting away with something. Here was a site where old people and ugly people and fat people and jerks could talk about fashion and beauty however we liked, and as if our opinions mattered. We also never took bribes, never did product placements,…
The Tragic Beauty of Life After Smoking
Recently I was at a barbecue of full-fledged actual adults and their spawn, and was thrilled when it took less than a half hour to find my people: People who used to smoke and still want to smoke. Fun bunch. Not that we were going to smoke. We were as pure as the non-carcinogenic driven snow, secretly full of…
Should Doing Porn Ruin Your Life? (No, Of Course Not. But It Might)
If there's one thing everyone in the adult industry wants you to know, it's this: The internet is forever. And whether you only do one scene or 500, people will know. Your family will know. Your church will know. And, even if you're using a pseudonym, it won't be too long before that's figured out too. Should…
Newsflash: You Can't Steal Someone Else's Partner
One day hanging out on the grassy knoll freshman year at college, a free-spirited woman on roller skates approached my boyfriend, who was sitting right beside me. She handed him a note and then floated away mysteriously, her sundress rippling in the breeze behind her. It read: Will you go out with me? Yes or No. I…
We Are Hardwired to Screw Ourselves Over Until the Day We Die

Think of yourself on your worst behavior: did you construct an elaborate narrative to justify it? Probably. But that narrative is bullshit. The real thing holding us back from growth and genuine happiness is not life in all its absurd, hard, meaningless glory. It's our own series of bullshit loopholes that keep us…
I Am Mozart Boob Twerk Girl. I Twerked My Boobs to Mozart.

My name is Sara, but by now you might better know me as "the Mozart boob twerk girl" from sites all over the internet, including this one. A week ago exactly, I was sitting where I am now, editing a video I had no idea would garner over 21 million views worldwide in seven days. I was a…
Adorable 100-Year-Old Wishes He Maybe Banged More Friends' Wives
At 99 years young, Los Angeles resident and lawn bowling aficionado Fred Fox is feeling his age — he needs pills so he can digest food properly. He can't feel his legs. His feet are all tingly. He has to piss every two hours through the night. But none of that adds up to the regret of wondering if he maybe should've…
Woman photoshopped to fit the definition of beauty in 25 countries

Here's an amazing experiment to see the differences between feminine beauty "ideals" across different countries: 24-year-old radio journalist Esther Honig had her picture photoshopped by Photoshop artists from 25 different countries. She told them to "make her look beautiful" according to their country standards.
Practical College Courses That Don't Exist But Really Should
Why do we go to college? Is it to learn a skill? Is to learn how to think? Is it to meet a future mate? Is it to become a well-rounded person? Get shit-faced? Or is it purely a means to an end — a place to make valuable networking connections and net higher lifetime earnings? On some level it's all that stuff, and yet…
Things That Won't Complete You
"You complete me" is not just a memorable quote from high-stakes sports rommy commy Jerry Maguire — it's a popular sentiment that plenty of folks buy into, this idea that someone, usually a romantic someone, or some thing, usually an accomplishment or material item, will "fill in" your missing piece, your gassy void,…
Your Official List of New Life Milestones
Career? Working on it. Babies? Maybe. Property? In this economy? Marriage? Eh? It's not news that women are dismissing trad-life milestones faster than you can say arrested development. While this hasn't been totally anxiety-free — how will we know when we've actually grown up!? — it should be viewed for what it is:…
13 Reasons the World Is Still Awesome
Happy Monday. Last week sucked — fuck last week. THAT SAID, the world still has some stuff going for it, and because seeing the great things is not something that comes naturally to many of us, let's take a moment to reflect on how the world is rad and wonderful. Why not? The alternative is to down a bottle of Celexa…
Here's How to Properly Kiss, as Taught by a 1942 Issue of LIFE
I probably should've tagged this as NSFW because it's super spicy! Found via The Mary Sue, who were kind enough to break down the sexy moves that are sure to steam up your after hours hotness.
Terrible New Arizona Law Forces Horrified Parents to Watch their Babies Die
It's tough to find a job in this sluggish economy, but now, thanks to a law about to take effect in the state of Arizona, there may soon be a need for something called a "fetal grief counselor" in the American Southwest. Thanks to anti-abortion lawmakers' efforts, starting Thursday, mothers of babies with fatal fetal…
Hundreds of Stock Photos Add Up to One Very Sweet Love Story
To create an ad for Getty Images, agency AlmapBBDO sorted through some 5,000 stock photo images and found 873 of them that they pieced together to paint a picture of an entire life in one minute. From Love to Bingo is really quite remarkable, and it definitely shows the range of stock imagery—though now we need an…


