One Directioner So Over Selfies With Fans, He's Actually in Pain

Step 1: Grab phone angrily; Step 2: Fake Smile; Step 3: Look like you're about to die; Step 4: Repeat over and over until you forget why you wanted this in the first place. Liam Payne is in so much pain. » 11/27/14 1:53pm 11/27/14 1:53pm

Justin Bieber Tells Horrible Racist Jokes on Camera

Justice Beaver (of the crime-fighting beavers) is going to be in a lot of hot water today, because The Sun has just posted a video of the pop star making an offensive slur-laden joke. Fun! » 6/01/14 11:30am 6/01/14 11:30am

Scarlett Johansson Engaged to Stone Fox French Journalist

Scarlett Johansson is officially engaged to Frenchman and too-hot-to-be-a-journalist journalist Romain Dauriac, her rep confirms. "They're very happy... they haven't chosen a date for the wedding." After faking us out numerous times this past year with non-nuptial diamond rings, her actual engagement ring is "a… » 9/05/13 9:00am 9/05/13 9:00am

Aziz Ansari Has Some Excellent Casting Suggestions for Shonda Rhimes

In today's Tweet Beat, Jessie J is honest about how bad her bad flight really was, Liam Payne uses some language best reserved for those without delicate ears, and Aziz Ansari and Shonda Rhimes need to schedule a working lunch STAT. » 8/21/13 7:30pm 8/21/13 7:30pm

Jessica Alba Side-Eyes Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP

Sometimes-actress, always-perfectly-symmetrical-faced-human being Jessica Alba wrote a book called The Honest Life: Living Naturally and True to You. She is marketing it as "like GOOP, but for Poors like you and me." » 3/22/13 9:00am 3/22/13 9:00am

Sigh: Josh Brolin and Diane Lane Calling It Quits

Superfoxes Josh Brolin and Diane Lane are divorcing after eight years of marriage, according to their reps: "It was a mutual decision. It was amicable. It's not ugly, it's just over." (Guh.) It's the second marriage for both of them. Although this means our fantasy of James Brolin, Barbra Streisand, Josh and Diane… » 2/22/13 9:00am 2/22/13 9:00am

Kim Kardashian's Milkshake Brings Tear Gas to the Yard

As you may recall, in penance for her pro-Israel Tweet, Kim Kardashian planned a trip to Bahrain to learn about the Middle East hawk some milkshakes. A faction of Sunni Muslim MPs had taken their issues with Kardashian's visit up with Parliament before her arrival ("she's an actress with an extremely bad reputation"),… » 12/03/12 9:00am 12/03/12 9:00am

Guess Which Celebrity Chef Is Already Booked To Make Brangelina's…

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have hired my mom's pretend (but serious pretend) boyfriend Jamie Oliver to come to their Surrey estate to cook them Christmas dinner. Pitt and Oliver have been buddies since the Jennifer Aniston days. The British chef has tried to give him cooking lessons before, but he's "useless in the… » 9/26/12 9:00am 9/26/12 9:00am

Prince Harry's Royal Peen Caught on Video!

The rumblings around the castle are ominous this week: the now-infamous Prince Harry Naked Bear Hug-Gate photos are only the tip of the iceberg, say Vegas sources, and the royal media will soon have to contend with "something pretty gigantic" (LOLOLOL pun). It appears that there's actually video of the Prince partying… » 8/28/12 9:00am 8/28/12 9:00am

Lindsay Lohan's Dad Knocks Up The Woman Who Literally Just Dropped Her…

Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. One of them panicked and drowned, but the other one kicked his little legs until he churned that cream into butter and walked out. And then Kate Major and Michael Lohan announced they were having a child, and the surviving mouse was like "What the fuck, didn't you just file a… » 7/16/12 9:00am 7/16/12 9:00am

Kris Jenner Orchestrated Kim Kardashian And Ray J's Sex Tape, Sez Kris…

You know when you're with someone you're totally into but he can't stop talking about his ex and her family? And it's kind of like "shut up about Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries! You're with me now! Me!" but you don't want to be mean about it? Like, he still won't stop texting you all "Kim used to blah blah blah" and… » 6/21/12 9:00am 6/21/12 9:00am

Jack Osbourne Diagnosed With Multiple Sclerosis At 26

Two weeks after welcoming daughter Pearl Clementine with his fiancée Lisa Stelly, Jack Osbourne, 26, has been diagnosed with relapsing, remitting multiple sclerosis—the most common, but least aggressive form of the illness, says Osbourne. "I was just angry and frustrated and kept thinking, 'Why now?' " he told People… » 6/18/12 9:00am 6/18/12 9:00am