Kim Kardashian's Milkshake Brings Tear Gas to the Yard

As you may recall, in penance for her pro-Israel Tweet, Kim Kardashian planned a trip to Bahrain to learn about the Middle East hawk some milkshakes. A faction of Sunni Muslim MPs had taken their issues with Kardashian's visit up with Parliament before her arrival ("she's an actress with an extremely bad reputation"),… »12/03/12 9:00am12/03/12 9:00am

Guess Which Celebrity Chef Is Already Booked To Make Brangelina's Christmas Dinner?

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have hired my mom's pretend (but serious pretend) boyfriend Jamie Oliver to come to their Surrey estate to cook them Christmas dinner. Pitt and Oliver have been buddies since the Jennifer Aniston days. The British chef has tried to give him cooking lessons before, but he's "useless in the… »9/26/12 9:00am9/26/12 9:00am

Lindsay Lohan's Dad Knocks Up The Woman Who Literally Just Dropped Her Restraining Order Against Him

Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. One of them panicked and drowned, but the other one kicked his little legs until he churned that cream into butter and walked out. And then Kate Major and Michael Lohan announced they were having a child, and the surviving mouse was like "What the fuck, didn't you just file a… »7/16/12 9:00am7/16/12 9:00am

Kris Jenner Orchestrated Kim Kardashian And Ray J's Sex Tape, Sez Kris Humphries

You know when you're with someone you're totally into but he can't stop talking about his ex and her family? And it's kind of like "shut up about Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries! You're with me now! Me!" but you don't want to be mean about it? Like, he still won't stop texting you all "Kim used to blah blah blah" and… »6/21/12 9:00am6/21/12 9:00am

Jack Osbourne Diagnosed With Multiple Sclerosis At 26

Two weeks after welcoming daughter Pearl Clementine with his fiancée Lisa Stelly, Jack Osbourne, 26, has been diagnosed with relapsing, remitting multiple sclerosis—the most common, but least aggressive form of the illness, says Osbourne. "I was just angry and frustrated and kept thinking, 'Why now?' " he told People… »6/18/12 9:00am6/18/12 9:00am