The movie, which opens today, was written and directed by Miyazaki and animated by hand. The film was released in Japan last summer and won the Japanese Academy's award for Best Animation Film and Best Score. The story is about a magical goldfish named Ponyo (voice by Noah Cyrus, Miley's little sister) who wants to be a human girl and is based loosely on The Little Mermaid. Ponyo runs away from her home in the sea and washes up on shore trapped in a glass bottle. Five-year-old Sosuke (Frankie Jonas, younger brother of the Jonas Brothers) frees her and cuts himself on the glass. Ponyo uses her magical powers to heal him, but when she tastes his blood she starts becoming human. Ponyo goes home with Sosuke, who lives with his mother Lisa (Tina Fey). This upsets the natural balance and Ponyo's sea god father (Liam Neeson) comes to bring his daughter back home.

Reviewers say Ponyo is more geared toward children than some of Miyazaki's recent films like Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle, but has powerful themes, an imaganative plot, and intricate animation that adults will appreciate as well. Disney is distributing the film in America (which explains the presence of Noah Cyrus and Frankie Jonas) but critics claim that the American voice actors are talented and well-cast. The only complaint? That the film just ends, without much of a climax. But every critic agreed that the film lives up to Miyazaki's previous work and is a must-see for fans of the director, animation, or just good filmmaking. Below, check out the reviews for Ponyo.

The Chicago Sun-Times

There is a word to describe Ponyo, and that word is magical. This poetic, visually breathtaking work by the greatest of all animators has such deep charm that adults and children will both be touched. It's wonderful and never even seems to try: It unfolds fantastically.

L.A. Times

Paralleling this is Miyazaki's intuitive understanding of magic and how best to use it on screen. It's not just that there are supernatural doings in Ponyo, including all-powerful wizards and goddesses who control the heavens and the seas, it's the film's notion that magic haunts the edges of the everyday, mixing with the ordinary in ways we don't always take the time to notice.

The Washington Post

And Ponyo? She's the kind of bizarre character who would never appear in an American children's movie but whom American children will find instantly hilarious. Ponyo also will appeal to parents exhausted by the constant Disney-led drumbeat of Princessdom. Unlike her clear antecedent, Ariel from The Little Mermaid, Ponyo doesn't care how she looks, nor is she respectful or deferential. She doesn't wait for true love to give her a voice or make her human, but busts out of the undersea kingdom on her own. Wreaking havoc and spouting non sequiturs, she comes off as a mix of Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons and the Tasmanian Devil.

The New York Times

To watch the image of a young girl burbling with laughter as she runs atop cresting waves in Ponyo is to be reminded of how infrequently the movies seem to express joy now, how rarely they sweep us up in ecstatic reverie. It's a giddy, touchingly resonant image of freedom - the animated girl is as liberated from shoes as from the laws of nature - one that the director Hayao Miyazaki lingers on only as long as it takes your eyes and mind to hold it close, love it deeply and immediately regret its impermanence...
It's hard not to think of the wizard, particularly when he gently and very cleanly curses the human world and its harmful ways, as something of a Miyazaki self-portrait. Whatever the case, like his creator, Fujimoto can't keep Ponyo under wraps: she springs from the sea, exploding into the world with a reckless, infectious, almost calamitous exuberance.

The Hollywood Reporter

A contemporary Japanese backdrop brings the Andersen story closer home, while the total absence of CGI work — the whole film is drawn by animators — heightens the film's childlike charm. In Miyazaki's fertile imagination, the ordinary and magical worlds blend into each other; both are full of marvels. Perhaps his most imaginative representation is the sea itself, which he transforms into a living, pulsating character. On another level, the sea can represent the subconscious mind bursting onto the land above. The tender mother-child relationship of Sosuke and Lisa, and Ponyo and her radiant Mother of the Sea, strikes a deep chord of universality.

Variety

Miyazaki has inadvertently dished up yet another challenge to the universe of hand-drawn toons: Even more so than his previous outings, the film confounds traditional notions of anthropomorphism, dwelling especially on the transformative properties of water. Far more upbeat than much of Miyazaki's oeuvre, limned in bright pastel colors where even destruction is golden, Ponyo possesses an almost demonic childish energy and a delight in form stronger than reason or narrative. Even Armageddon, as loosed by Ponyo and imagined by Miyazaki, is a wondrous place where half-armored prehistoric fish glide alongside their more evolved cousins, submerged trees form mysterious swamplands and a "ship graveyard" of foundering vessels appears in the distance, like a fairyland of lights stretched out upon the water.

Miami Herald

Miyazaki's infinitely imaginative, lovingly rendered visions tickle the imagination in a way CGI cartoons can't. Ponyois stuffed with the sort of indelible, fantastical images for which Miyazaki is revered: Ponyo running atop churning waves that look like giant fish; a city flooded by a micro typhoon as prehistoric creatures swim through its streets; barges and oil rigs piled high after the ocean level rises, and the moon begins to pull closer to Earth. Even by Miyazaki standards, Ponyomakes less narrative sense than it should, and the pat ending is a bit of a letdown: The story doesn't reach a climax; it just stops. But the flat finale doesn't take away from the hypnotic spell the rest of the movie can weave on 5- or 50-year-olds.

Slate

The fact that a child can grasp its logic doesn't mean that Ponyois a kids' movie-in fact, many of its themes and images may be too intense for younger children. It means that Miyazaki is a great artist, able to tap into a part of his mind that most grownups (including artists) have long ago closed off. Ponyo is baroquely and extravagantly weird, yet its story has a mythic simplicity: Boy meets fish-girl, boy loses fish-girl, fish-girl risks upsetting the cosmic order to get boy back. It's Hans Christian Andersen's The Little Mermaid, with less sacrificial suffering and more ramen noodles.

Time

When you see Ponyo- and you must - be prepared for a movie that doesn't abide by Hollywood rules. This is a tale for children (yes, of all ages) who are ready to be coaxed into another world through simple words and luscious pictures. Miyazaki knows the secret language of children; he dives deep into the pool of childhood dreams and fears and, through his animagic, takes children down to where they can breathe, and feel, and be free.

New York Magazine

Nothing in Miyazaki's universe ever stops transforming: There are spirits tucked away, ready to turn what you think you see-the visible world-into something else. Miyazaki proves why two-dimensional hand-drawn animation will always be more thrilling than 3-D: It doesn't need to pretend to be bound by the laws of physics. The borders between flesh and spirit are infinitely porous. Before I get too high-flown, let me say that Ponyois unsullied by Disney's English-language casting of Miley Cyrus's little sister as Ponyo and a Jonas brother as Sosuke-although Noah Lindsey Cyrus is a tad shrill. But Liam Neeson has gravely splendid pipes as Ponyo's father, a once-human wizard who lives underwater and despises humankind for polluting the planet.

The San Francisco Chronicle

The English-language translation is better than most, with Tina Fey adding a modern spunkiness as Sosuke's mother. Liam Neeson is also perfectly cast as Ponyo's father, and Lily Tomlin, Cloris Leachman and Betty White are as warm as a cup of cocoa playing three women at a senior home.

The A.V. Club

While the story is modeled on a traditional fairy tale and a traditional love story, it's more primal than it looks. In keeping with Miyazaki's usual motifs, Ponyo's attachment to Sosuke is an unthinking force, as avid and single-minded as the decapitated forest spirit in Princess Mononoke, or the crazed, murderous Ohmu in Miyazaki's Nausicaä Of The Valley Of The Wind. Miyazaki never lets viewers forget that Ponyo is human-shaped but not actually human; her shape shifts and dissolves back toward fish-dom whenever she exerts her magical powers. In this and other things, the story operates on a fluid dream-logic, or the storytelling logic of a very small child: Events melt into each other without urgency, and a simple act like making and drinking tea is treated with the same complacent, wondrous gravity as magic that calls wave-monsters into being. Even so, older kids and even adults are unlikely to get bored, thanks to the story's unforced sweetness, giddy highs, and stunningly beautiful visuals. Even in the unspoiled Devonian, real life never looked this good.

Earlier: Meet Ponyo, Hauao Miyazaki's Latest Girl Friendly Film

• Oprah is being sued for $1 trillion. That is one trillion dollars. Here's the deal:

Author Damon Lloyd Goffe of the Bronx claims that in April 2008, Oprah confessed to seizing (?) and publishing (on the web) a first draft of his work, A Tome of Poetry, under the title Pieces Of My Soul. [National Enquirer]

• Newly unemployed Paula Abdul might go to The View: The show's rep says "She was always welcome on the program in the past and always will be in the future." Paula might fill in during Elisabeth Hasselbeck's maternity leave, but probably won't be offered a full-time job; the rep says: "We aren't hiring, of course." [E!]
• Apparently Paula's Idol resignation Tweet took many Idol staffers by surprise. When asked if Paula will be replaced, one exec said: "I have no idea." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Former American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe says he's talked with Paula about coming to Fox's So You Think You Can Dance. "With Paula's background as a dancer, choreographer and reality judge now, I don't know anyone more qualified than Paula Abdul." [NY Daily News]
• "Who can replace Paula Abdul on 'American Idol?' Sarah Palin? Judge Judy?" LOL. [NY Daily News]
• You know who will be on American Idol? Victoria Beckham. Yes, Posh Spice will make a guest appearance on the judging panel. Zigazig-ah. [Daily Mail]
• Posh's appearance will be a one-off. [People]
• Britney wants to marry her manager-boyfriend Jason Trawick and have his baby (she wants a girl), but a source says: "Jason's last long-term relationship ended because he wouldn't pop the question." As always, consider the source on this. [MSNBC via National Enquirer]
• Kristin Davis is caught in the middle of Mideast politics — she is no longer a spokeswoman for human rights/relief organization Oxfam International because she endorses the Ahava cosmetics line, which is made by Dead Sea Cosmetics in the Mitzhe Shalem Jewish settlement in the West Bank. Oxfam considers this "disputed" territory. [Page Six]
• A new batch of nude photographs of Vanessa Hudgens hit the internet and her lawyer confirms that they are real and that she was underage when they were taken. You've got to wonder who keeps leaking pictures of the Disney teen queen, and how he or she is getting access to these images. [Perez]
• According to this report, the Vanessa Hudgens pix are actually old. Yet! Released just in time: There's a red carpet premiere of her new flick, Bandslam, tomorrow. [E!]
• Mischa Barton didn't go to some castmate's birthday party and we're supposed to read something into that. [Page Six]
• Matt Damon, Don Cheadle and George Clooney are hanging out at Cloon's luxurious Lake Como estate, like an Ocean's Eleven reunion. Except no Brad Pitt. [NY Daily News]
• Aerosmith's Steven Tyler was airlifted to a hospital after falling off the stage during a show in South Dakota. Not a joke: He went down during the song "Love In An Elevator." His injuries are reportedly not too serious: minor head and neck injuries and a shoulder injury. [AP]
• In a poll by lovefilm.com (?), Anne Hathaway was named best actress under 30. Keira Knightley got second place. [Telegraph]
• It's tough to describe the creeptastic pictures in the results of this "NYC Prep Meets Yearbook Yourself" post, but there are retro hairstyles and Morrissey quotes, so you'd better just click and see. [The Faster Times]
• Michael Jackson and rapper Fabolous are on the top of the Billboard charts. [Reuters]
• A South Korean newspaper is suing Michael Jackson's estate for $7.9 million over some canceled concert dates in 1990. As if Katherine Jackson's lawyers didn't have enough to worry about. [AP]
• Katherine Jackson will be telling Prince and Paris that their biological mom is Debbie Rowe in the next few weeks. [NY Post]
• A play at the Edinburgh Fringe festival — with an all-Malawian cast — is about Madonna's adoption saga and titled Mercy Madonna of Malawi. Her Madgesty is played by a black male actor in a blonde wig, and he looks like he's loving it. [BBC News]
• If you haven't seen it yet, the animated Modest Mouse video directed by Heath Ledger can be found at the link. [NY Daily News]
• Barbra Streisand is auctioning off more than 400 personal items to benefit her charity: A baby grand piano, a dress from Funny Lady, some outfits from Meet The Fockers. "What good does it do in storage?" Barbra asks. The Streisand Foundation supports women's, children's, environmental and political causes. [AP]
• Catherine Deneuve was booed at a performance in Italy, where she was reading at a cultural festival. Attendees may have been frustrated that she was reading in French and there were no subtitles. [AP]
• Pedro Almodóvar turns 60 next month, and is about to release his 17th feature film, Broken Embraces. He says: "I want to make more. Right now, I feel a sense of urgency that I never had before to make films. I feel much more in a hurry now than when I was 20 or 30. Time passes." And! On muse Penelope Cruz: "Hollywood doesn't take such risks with actors. They're not that rich in female characters either. I have the advantage that I know Penelope very well as a friend. She has such faith in me, so I can take more risks, bring out those unseen Penelopes, that other directors wouldn't dare to try or conceive." Be sure and click the link and watch the trailer, in which Cruz wears a bunch of different wigs and channels Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. [Telegraph]
• Liam Neeson will star in Unknown White Male, a thriller from the director of Orphan, in which Neeson will play a doctor who gets into a car accident and goes into a coma. When he wakes up, his wife doesn't recognize him — and she's living with another man who has assumed his identity. [Variety]
• HBO, which has been getting very lady-friendly lately, is developing a show for Laura Dern. The premise? A formerly self-destructive woman has a spiritual awakening and becomes determined to live an enlightened life, wreaking unintended consequences." Writer? Mike White, School Of Rock. [Women & Hollywood]
• Thomas Beatie, known as the "pregnant man," is pitching a reality series to Oxygen to TLC. [NY Daily News]
• Retrogossip: "Marilyn Monroe and Tony Curtis had affair while making 'Some Like it Hot,' Curtis reveals in book.… The 84-year-old actor writes that he and Monroe had an affair while making the movie in 1958 which left her pregnant. Had she not miscarried, Marilyn would have been his baby mama." [Gatecrasher]
• "He'd better start making some good films ... I'm not a great fan of Public Enemies, because I think [Michael Mann's] a fucking extraordinary filmmaker, but personally I didn't think Johnny had enough room to act ... He's making so much money. There was a piece in the Huffington Post today. It's a letter saying 'All right, come on, we all love you, but stop.' ... It's like, 'Come on. You've got the power to make some really good films happen. Why are you doing this shit?'" — Terry Gilliam on Johnny Depp. [NY Mag]
• "Chris Kattan wanting to be a leading man is a joke, and it's a great way to poke fun of myself. It's not so much about finding a gig but good, respectful gigs." — Chris Kattan, on his role in Bollywood Hero, in which he decides to head to India and reinvent himself as the star of a Bollywood epic, Peculiar Dancing Boy. [USA Today
• "My priorities have shifted completely, which has helped my career because there's this new peace that I have. If I never did anything again, I would be a mom and I'd be totally happy being a mom. Everything has fallen into place so beautifully because I'm not trying so hard. If my daughter's OK, I can concentrate on something else. So it's not like all day I'm thinking about me." — Milla Jovovich. [LA Times]
• "If this article comes out and we're not together, I'd still love [Tony]," she says. "And he'd still be a huge part of who I am today." — Jessica Simpson, to Glamour magazine. [NY Daily News]
• The thing is that American Idol obviously appeals to a massive audience, and they have everything from little teenagers that freak out and scream when they see me. Then there's the sort of weird kids that were a little bit different and alternative than everyone else and were getting into Idol, too. You have the single moms. You have the Oprah audience. You have the grandmothers. You have women that want a baby. Women that want to fuck you. Women that want you to fuck their daughter or people that want to make you cookies. So you have everything. But I'll tell you, I definitely have a pretty hard-core sort of middle-age woman following. It's awesome when anyone follows, but I think that if I had a new hit on the radio and I was playing shows, you'd see a lot more of the teeners there, but the women that are dedicated, that travel all over the country to see me, are from 30 to 50 and some older, definitely. You know that's all been really great and fun, but I'm very focused on the work and eventually settling down and finding one nice girl, preferably Greek." — Constantine Maroulis, former Idol contestant and current Broadway star in Rock Of Ages.[The Daily Beast]

1.) Rasputin**
The Russian mystic's disembodied penis is on display at the Russian museum of erotica in Saint Petersburg, in a tall jar, measuring 11 inches—flaccid.

2.) Liam Neeson
In her autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty, Janice Dickinson wrote of her ex-boyfriend Liam Neeson, saying he had "the biggest penis of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out."

3.) Jay-Z
Accounts from several different groupies say that Jigga is well endowed, "The biggest dick you will ever see in your life, but boring. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun."

4.) John Holmes
Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement. His manager claimed he was 13.5 inches, but Holmes' first wife said he measured it in front of her, before he started doing adult films, and it was 10 inches.

5.) Vincent Gallo
Have you ever seen Brown Bunny? (Link NSFW)

6.) Milton Berle
This rumor about how large his dick was has been around for a while, and at his Friars Club memorial in 2002, his friends joked about his size.

7.) Wilt Chamberlain
His nickname was "Big Dipper." He claims to have gotten a lot of use out of it.

8.) Tommy Lee
Thanks to the sex tape with then-wife Pamela Anderson, everyone has seen Tommy's peen. It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. (Link NSFW)

9.) Frank Sinatra
Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock."

10.) Alexis Arquette
Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. (Link NSFW)

10.) President Johnson
"He was a lifelong exhibitionist who in college had dubbed his penis ‘Jumbo.'"

11.) Errol Flynn
He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano. A classical pianist!

12.) James Woods
That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.

13.) Colin Farrell
It looks like a baby's arm. (Link NSFW)

14.) Peter Andre
Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.

15.) Anthony Keides
The girls on Metal Sludge—a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous."

16.) Tony Kanal
The girls on Metal Sludge also say that the No Doubt bassist—who is Gwen Stefani's ex—measures about 10 inches.

17.) Tony Danza
He's uncut and long. (Link NSFW)

18.) Ray J
Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? (Link NSFW)

19.) Dan Rather
The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent."

20.) Simon Rex
It's no wonder why he used to do porno.

P.S. Here's a preview of Hung:

*It is the personal opinion of the writer that big penises hurt.
**This list is not compiled by size order.

• Miley Cyrus was photographed wearing a bikini in the Bahamas; the 16-year-old Tweeted a joke about her "jiggling thighs," but then went off on critics who called her fat:

"Talk all you want. I have my flaws. I'm a normal girl, there's things about my body I would change but stop with calling me f*t… People that are so okay with being so hateful disgust me and need to spend last time on a gossip website and more time a. reading your bible b. reading stories/articles about what happens when cyber abuse and name calling happens. Kids hurt themselves." The sage Disney star added: "oh and ps if your thighs don't jiggle go see a doctor. thanks" [Daily Mail]

• This report claims that Mariah Carey "threw a fit" in Cannes before the premiere of Precious because the director, Lee Daniels, was late. But an eyewitness says she was "in a great mood" at the after party and Daniels says, "I was not late." Another day, another faux drama. [Gatecrasher]
• Madonna, David Banda, Jesus Luz and Lourdes went to a Kabbalah service over the weekend, but no one seems to know if Madge and Jesus had a commitment ceremony or not. One thing is for sure: Lourdes going to the synagogue Kaballah center wearing a Ghostbusters t-shirt under her white button down = awesome. [Daily Mail]
• Bradley Cooper says the rumor about he and Jennifer Aniston dating is toro caca: "My mom loves it, but unfortunately it's not true." [People]
• Now that Cameron Diaz has split from Paul Sculfor, she was seen having a lunch date with Adam Levine from Maroon 5. He's on the herpes tree, right? [Daily Mail]
• Cynthia Nixon: Engaged to longtime girlfriend Christine Marinoni. [ET]
• Naomi Campbell is dating Russian billionaire Vladislav Doronin, whom this paper calls "the man who has tamed" her. Because, you know, wimminz is craycray without a good man. Here is an actual sentence from the piece: "Perhaps it is Vladislav's relaxed manner that has calmed her down. Or maybe Naomi, 38, finds the property tycoon's massive bank balance – said to be £1.5billion – a reassuring influence. One thing's for sure…she isn't attracted by his dodgy fashion sense, judging by those swim shorts – nor his 'man boobs.'" [Mirror]
• Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds and Betty White star in this hilarious Funny or Die video and frankly, Ms. White steals the show. Too bad it's basically viral marketing for The Proposal. [Funny Or Die]
• A few days ago, there was a "ruckus" at Paris Hilton's house; turns out someone prank called the heiress and told her that Tinkerbell was roadkill on Mulholland Drive. Paris freaked out; neighbors thought they heard an argument and called cops; they really want Paris out of the neighborhood. Sigh. [TMZ]
• Dustin Lance Black, who wrote Milk, is glad Miss California Carrie Prejean kept her crown: "What I think she does is help identify a population that we need to reach out to," he says. "The only way we could get through to some of these groups that vote against us on election day is by telling our stories. That process of education breaks down the stereotypes, the lies and the myths. I'm actually glad [Carrie] didn't lose her job." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Beyoncé is obsessed with Sex And The City and thinks of herself as a Carrie: "She was the person who held all the friendships together." [Mirror]
• "Amber Tamblyn and David Cross Make Out In Public." [Page Six]
• James Gray, who directed Two Lovers, says Gwyneth Paltrow asked him to inspect her breasts: "Gwyneth told me, 'I don't care about nudity, I'll give you everything you need. But I've had two children and I just don't think they look very good any more. Do me a favour, come into my trailer and I'll show them to you and if you think they look OK I'll do it.' So I marched in there and I told her they looked great." And! if you want to see one, nipple and all, click the link. [The Sun]
• Emily Blunt was supposed to be in Get Him To The Greek with Russell Brand, playing a "sex-crazed" pop star who beds Brand's character. But: "She got cold feet and pulled out. She's no prude but the stumbling block was that her character had far too many explicit love scenes." [Daily Express]
• Ricky Gervais wore pajamas to the white house. [The Sun]
• A reporter spoke to Chelsy Davy about her ex, Prince Harry, and writes this: "At a recent dinner the blonde South African, who dated Harry for four years, was asked why she had split with the Prince. She shot me a look of disdain and replied: 'Because he cheated on me.'" [Mirror]
• Is Fergie bisexual? She says: "Put it this way, I've experimented definitely, but I have never had a steady girlfriend." [The Sun]
• Farrah Fawcett's son, currently serving a jail sentence, was allowed to visit her on Friday — the same day Farrah's Story aired — to "say goodbye." [NY Daily News]
• There may be another cut of Farrah's Story in the works, emphasizing that her type of cancer is curable if caught early. [MSNBC]
• Michael Jackson has said he will not perform with Janet and the Jackson 5, but some concert promoter is still trying to make it happen, and if it doesn't, he'll sue MJ. [TMZ]
• Also, contrary to earlier reports, Michael Jackson does not have skin cancer. A spokesperson says the singer "doesn't have any diseases whatsoever." [Guardian]
• Ewan McGregor wants to get a pilot's license but frets that he won't be able to rack up flying hours: "What worries me about it is if I get the licence, what happens if I'm always going away? I don't like to fly when I'm making a movie, so I'm gonna be the most inconsistent pilot." [Daily Express]
• Amy Adams, who is engaged but "too busy" to plan a wedding, says she prepared for Night At The Museum 2 to be on IMAX screens by doing Pilates "as often as I could." [People]
• Rumer Willis guest stars tonight on Medium, alongside Angelica Huston; executive producer Glenn Gordon Caron was the one who gave Rumer's dad, Bruce Willis, his big break in Moonlighting. [AP]
• Oh, and Rumer Willis is a fan of Twitter: "It's a great place for starting a new era of people being less harsh or judgmental. You can really get to know people and everybody is just a human. Just because they have a different job doesn't make them any less a person than anybody else." [AP]
• A psychic who works as a producer on The Ghost Whisperer knew Jennifer Love Hewitt would never marry actor Ross McCall. Freaky! [Page Six]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and Peter Andre are holding "crisis talks" to try and saved their shattered marriage. Although she is in the Maldives and he is in Cyprus. [Daily Mail]
• this paper asks Kristin Scott Thomas: Have you kept in touch with Prince? I read that the song "Better With Time," on his last album, was an ode to you. She replies: "If it's true, it's fantastic. He came to see "The Seagull" [when Scott Thomas was acting on Broadway last year] and was completely wowed by it. A lot of people knew what we were doing and he just turned up. He is incredibly intelligent and talented - if he's written a song for me, it's just the most wonderful present. He's just brilliant, brilliant, brilliant at what he does. What's really great about getting older is that down the road you meet people you haven't seen for a long time and they're still doing something you really admire." Thomas's film debut was as a topless French socialite in Under The Cherry Moon. [NY Daily News]
• Mary Carey, a former patient of Dr. Drew Pinksy, has released a porn titled Celebrity Pornhab with Dr. Screw. [TMZ]
• Did you know that Catherine Zeta-Jones used to be engaged to Hollywood producer Jon Peters — the same guy who's been dishing about Barbra Streisand? [Daily Mail]
• Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller are over, for real this time. Sienna is now "getting friendly" with Josh Hartnett. [Mirror]
• Jason Priestley and his wife rushed their 1-year-old daughter Ava from a Von's grocery store to the hospital on Saturday — no one knows what happened, but he kid is okay. When i was a kid i got my finger pinched by the wheel while sitting in the bottom of a Kroger shopping cart and the butcher wrapped it up with tape. True story. [TMZ]
• Larry King's 11th book is a memoir; the man has been married eight times to seven women. He's had a personal relationship with every president since Richard Nixon. He says: "If you're going to write an autobiography, you can't leave things out." [USA Today]
• There will be a Broadway musical based on First Wives Club. You're been warned. [Variety]
• William Hurt, Jessica Chastain and Vanessa Redgrave will appear in Ralph Fiennes' directorial debut, Coriolanus, which is a Shakespearean Roman tragedy but will be set in the current day as a political thriller. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Tilda Swinton will star in a film (based on a novel) called We Need to Talk About Kevin. She'll play a "smart, educated New York mother who does her best to raise a son she never wanted in the first place." [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Liam Neeson and Jennifer Connelly will star in What's Wrong With Virginia, and the film will be the directorial debut of Dustin Lance Black, the Oscar-winning screenwriter of Milk. [Variety]
• Rita Wilson has sold a script; it's a comedy called Terms Of Embarrassment, and revolves around a middle-aged couple who wind up attending the same college as their son. Although she produced My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Mamma Mia!, this is her first script sale. [Variety]
• Milla Jovovich will star alongside Robert De Niro and Edward Norton in the psychological thriller Stone. [Variety]
• Slumdog Millionaire child star Ayush Mahesh Khedekar got another job! He'll co-star in a Swiss film called Shyam's Secret. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• If you want to know what kind of tunes Quentin Tarantino uses as "music to kill Nazis by" in his new flick, Inglourious Basterds, click the link. [Page Six]
• Star Trek wasn't strong enough to take the top spot at the box office two weekends in a row: Angels & Demons beat the sci-fi flick with $48 mil. [NY Daily News]
• Sadie Frost is reportedly working on a tell-all book, in which she will dish about "infamous bedhopping sessions" involving ex-hubby Jude Law, Supergrass drummer Danny Goffey and his wife Pearl Lowe (mother of Daisy). [Mirror]
• "It was the pills I was taking; they had my mood really fucked up. I was already depressed and with the drugs it just became a vicious cycle of depression. And as if my drug problem wasn't bad enough, when Proof died it was like, 'Son of a bitch, what I am going to do now?' I went through a lot when he died. It was the worst time in my life. It just gave me a real legitimate excuse, in my head at least, to use drugs. I didn't care if my drug problem got worse at that point so I took more pills. And the more I said fuck it and took more pills, the higher my tolerance got. The higher my tolerance got, the more I needed those pills in my body just to feel normal and not feel sick. It's a vicious cycle. I got over it all last year. I ended up coming out of all that shit that was cluttering my mind and as I came up out of the haze from the pills and everything, shit started to get clearer." — Eminem, whose album, Relapse, drops tomorrow. [Guardian]
• "It feels a little too self-loathing to me. When I go back and listen to it… it just feels like I'm pissing and moaning about whatever. It sounds like in my head I feel like I have all these things to piss and moan about. And maybe I did, maybe I didn't, I don't know, but to actually bring that kind of shit to the forefront like that, I just don't agree with it." — Eminem on his last album, Encore. [Guardian]
• "One of the main connections I had with my character was that journey that you go through when you're about to have a baby. I could relate to the people giving you so much information that you didn't need or want or ask for and also having some of it be completely outrageous." — Maya Rudolph, on her film, Away We Go, which also stars John Krasinski. [UPI]
• "Some girls were mean. They made fun of me because I dressed differently. Nuns ran my school, so I was suppressing this part of myself for a long time. It wasn't until later that I realized my true passions were music, art and performance... definitely shock art." — Lady GaGa. [Daily Mail]
• "I don't know if I'm fashion-obsessed. I think when I'm working, yes, but when I'm at home I usually wear the same thing every day. I have my straight-leg jeans and a pair of Christian Louboutins and a little jacket and a white shirt. I get sent about 15 designer bags a month. I can only imagine how much they cost. Even I wouldn't buy some of them." — Beyoncé. [Mirror]
• Speaking of age, you turn 49 next week. You're famously candid about aging, especially for an actress. "They did tell me to shut up a long time ago: 'You mustn't say you're 35, say you're 30.' I thought, 'This is ridiculous! Why should I?' In English and American cinema, people my age are immediately categorized into either campy, kind of clowny middle-aged women making them appear much older than they really do look or you're playing someone's grandmother. In Europe, we have this fantastic tradition of really enjoying women over 40, of that not being a taboo at all - people like Catherine Deneuve. Look at [Pedro] Almodóvar, the way he films women with such care and affection. The filmmakers here just love women who've been around a bit longer, they make those wrinkles look beautiful. In English or American films, they just want you to be old and shut up." — Kristin Scott Thomas. [NY Daily News]

• When Carrie Prejean said she was against gay marriage because "that's how I've been raised by my mother" she wasn't kidding. During her parents divorce, both parents hurled accusations of homosexuality at the other side.

• Her parents filed for divorce in 1988 and now TMZ has routed through more than ten years of divorce and custody lawsuits. In one document, Carrie's dad said, "Ms. Prejean accused me, in front of our daughter, of homosexuality." A court appointed doctor said, "The mother questioned [within hearing of the girls] whether [her father] was a homosexual or had a homosexual roommate." Another counselor said, "The mother also alleges the father told the girls their stepfather was gay, that all men with mustaches are gay." [TMZ]
• Donald Trump, who owns the Miss USA franchise, will hold a press conference on Tuesday to discuss the fate of Miss California Carrie Prejean. [Perez Hilton]
• Kiefer Sutherland was supposed to turn himself in to police today for headbutting designer Jack McCollough and get what is basically a ticket to appear for an arraignment at a later date. But, it's not clear if a non-resident can do this, so he may be arrested, taken into custody, and arraigned immediately. [TMZ]
• As if having her brother give a lengthy interview to Us alleging that she's having an affair with Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 wasn't bad enough, now one of Deanna Hummel's ex-boyfriends has set up a website to try to sell the amateur sex tape he made with the elementary school teacher. The site features several screen grabs of a woman he claims is Hummel having sex. He writes, "The Deanna I knew wasn't above cheating, even with married men, hence our eventual breakup. During our time together we made a secret amateur sex tape. It wasn't a hidden cam or anything, she was totally aware of the fact that I was taping ... I am shopping this tape and am currently in negotiations with sites like porn.com about selling it." [Perez Hilton]
• Over the weekend, Lindsay Lohan flew to Montreal for an appearance at a nightclub. She was detained at the airport by Canadian officials who considered banning her from Canada due to her DUI convictions. After an hour-long interrogation, they let her in. [Jam]
• Chris Brown's lawyer has filed a discovery motion stating that, asking for written statements and reports from the LAPD regarding the photo of a beaten Rihanna. He writes, "I intend to use such evidence at the preliminary hearing to attack their credibility. The defense intends to prove and argue that the afore-mentioned officers are not credible and that the Court should not believe some of their statements," and adds, "I believe there is a reasonable likelihood that the case will be dismissed at the preliminary hearing." [TMZ]
• Oprah Winfrey's crew toured Susan Boyle's home in Scotland for an episode that will air on Monday. Boyle is expected to Skype in. [E!]
• Singer Cassie's computer was hacked and now topless pictures of her are circulating on the internet. Her Twitter response is awesome: "IT SEEMS THAT SOMEONE HAS HACKED INTO MY COMPUTER...THAT'S REAL FOUL AND EVIL. NOW STOP ACTING LIKE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A TITTY BEFORE." [Fleshbot (NSFW)]
• Jennifer Aniston stopped speaking to her mother, Nancy Dow, when her book From Mother And Daughter To Friends: A Memoir was published in 1999, but now Jen says the feud is over. She says of their relationship, "It's good. It's OK. Things are now fine between us. All of that is over, and we're in touch with one another. Today Mom has moved from California and she's living in Colorado, and we speak, and it's all over." [The Daily Express]
• This summer Michelle Williams of Destiny's Child will head to London to star as Roxie Hart in the musical Chicago. [The Daily Express]
• Fire trucks and ambulances rushed to Cher's house because someone hit the panic button, but it turns out someone working on her alarm system hit it accidentally. A law enforcement source said in Malibu, that happens a lot. [TMZ]
• Katy Perry and Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes are back together. [The Daily Mail]
• Lynyrd Skynyrd bassist Ean Evans has died after a long battle with cancer. In January, the band's former keyboardist, Billy Powell, also died. [TMZ]
• Anne Hathaway used to live in a $37,500-a-month rented Trump Tower penthouse when she was dating scam artist Raffaello Follieri. Now she lives in the Avalon Bowery rental complex, where one-bedrooms start around $4,000 per month. [NY Post]
• Mary Stuart Masterson and her husband Jeremy Davidson are expecting their first child together. [People]
• Michelle Obama is getting her own permanent page on People's website. [Time]
• Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus of Abba have released several new singles, their first new pop songs in more than 15 years. [BBC]
• Goldie Hawn met with Ted Kennedy's staff today. [Politico]
• Jessica Alba, Keri Russell, and Chris Rock's wife Malaak Compton-Rock are in Washington, D.C., talking to legislators about affordable health care. [Politico]
• David Lynch is launching Interview Project on June 1, a black-and-white online video series, he describes as "a road-trip where people have been found and interviewed … hundreds of people." [NY Magazine]
• Peaches Geldof has been threatened with legal action because she didn't pay the $575.60 gas bill for her New York apartment. [The Daily Mail]
• Liam Neeson made his first public speaking appearance since the death of his wife, Natasha Richardson, to accept an award from his alma mater, Queens University Belfast. Liam quoted poet Paul Muldoon at the ceremony, saying art "builds from pain, from misery, from a deep-seated hurt, a monument to the human heart that shines like a golden dome among roofs rain-glazed and leaden," and adding, "I think it is a message that a university always gives its students in the end: It's time to move on, get on with your life. I got on with mine, and I'm still getting on." [Entertainment Tonight]
• In response to Kirstie Alley complaining to Oprah that Valerie Bertinelli lost weight while she put on 83 pounds, Bertinelli says, "She should come work out with me! She should remember you can't do everything in one day [and] her exercise has to be consistent. She can do this. There's no doubt in my mind." [People]
• Today The New York Times ran a story about an increasingly popular technique in which actors use Jungian theories of dream interpretation to try to act their roles in their dreams before playing them in real life. "We do some things that might be construed as voodoo, but nevertheless it gets results," says Harvey Keitel in the story. "I question everything, but I haven't been able to puncture any holes in this dream workshop." [NY Times]
• This weekend PBS is running the BBC miniseries Wallander, starring Kenneth Branagh as a "physically bloated, emotionally broken and proudly Swedish detective." Branagh says, "The great thing about Wallander is that he is an extreme and flawed version of parts of all our own personalities, I think of him as an everyman. He is sort of an antihero. He could take better care of himself physically, in terms of his personal wardrobe. He might make more of an effort. He might dress for success a little more, be a little aware. I know he wants to have a relationship. God! I'm talking as if I'd been on the phone with him." [Yahoo]
• Lily Allen says, "People always go: 'God, you're so outspoken' … That's like someone speaking out of place. If someone asks me a question, I'm going to answer … I don't protect myself." [Sydney Morning Herald]
• Earlier this week Rosie Perez went on NPR to talk about gentrification in Brooklyn, where she grew up and still lives. She said, "When I walk out of my house, I used to know everyone on my block in Clinton Hill. I walk out there now, people move away from me because I'm a person of color and then once they recognize me, they go, oh. That's a horrible feeling. That's a feeling I didn't grow up with." Now she says, "Let me tell you, since I said that [on the radio], now everybody is saying hello to me. Be careful what you wish for." [NY Magazine]
• Keith Urban says of the paparazzi, "I'm as protective of my family as any father and husband can be. It can be just a bit intrusive, you know," adding that he and Nicole Kidman "what we can to keep (Sunday Rose) safe, because she didn't choose to come into this lifestyle. It's just what her mother and I do, so we do what we can to try and keep some civility about the whole thing." [Yahoo]
• When Trent Reznor was asked if he has any unreleased Nine Inch Nails recordings, he said, "I'm not Prince or Rivers Cuomo, who brags about having hundreds of great songs. And to that I would say, ‘Prince, if you have a hundred great songs or a thousand, how about picking a few and putting them on your record that you've put out, because your last several have sucked.' Same for you, Rivers. I say that constructively, you know." He then added, "I may be happy and engaged but I can still be a prick." [Rolling Stone]
• Elizabeth Hurley has some sex tips for you, if you're heading to the English countryside. "Next time you go to someone's house in the country, be sure to check out if they have warm, possibly fluffy, rugs in front of their fire. No prizes for guessing why they're there! I can also shyly confess to having two sheepskin rugs in front of all my fireplaces!" she said, "When I close my eyes and think of England, I'm not in a fancy restaurant in Knightsbridge, but am instead lolling, scantily clad, in front of a roaring fire." [The Sun]
• In a parentdish.com poll, Jennifer Garner was voted the top celebrity mother, beating out Michelle Obama and Reese Witherspoon. [The Star]
• Gisele Bundchen said of planning her two secret weddings to Tom Brady, "We tried very hard to keep it private. Oh my God, you have no idea how hard that was." She added that they didn't even know the scuffle between security and the paparazzi was going on. "The next day people were calling, and I'm like, 'I don't know what you're talking about.' I didn't even know it was happening. Later on, I was like, 'What? What happened on my day?' " [People]
• Michael Caine explains why he's still in movies, even though he claims he's retired. "I do very few movies now, and I wait for ... what I call to myself 'the offer I can't refuse.' It doesn't have anything to do with money, it's just a script I can't refuse," he said. [CNN]
• Tilda Swinton was asked about what she drinks when she goes out, because she's playing an alcoholic in Julia. She said: "This is where I have to come out of the closet and declare that I do not drink. If I'm around champagne drinkers, my drink is ginger ale. Because it means that I can look like I'm jolly and pretend to be getting drunk as well. I become infected by other peoples' drunkenness. And when I came to play the drunkenness in Julia, I realized that it was actually very easy for me because I'd been pretending to be drunk around my friends for years. Just getting high off their highness. But then the great thing is then I'm sober so when the police are called I just let them in tell turn the music down and send everybody home." [BlackBook]

• Miley Cyrus wants to dump her boyfriend Justin Gaston, but her father doesn't approve:

According to the National Enquirer, "Billy Ray thinks Justin is a solid, stand-up Christian guy who keeps his nose clean and stays out of trouble," says a source. But: "It's finally dawning on (Miley) that she's young, rich and famous," the source said. "And she can have any guy she's interested in." [MSNBC via National Enquirer]

• Poor Jonas Brothers: Their new show has fewer viewers than Miley Cyrus' Hannah Montana. [LA Times]
• Lindsay Lohan is hazardous to little sister Ali Lohan's health, says a psychiatrist who does not treat either of them. "If you have an older child who is breaking a lot of the rules and engaging in dangerous and risky behavior, this can have a negative impact on the younger child," says Dr. Eva Ritvo. Um, duh. [NY Daily News]
• The self-proclaimed father of Mercy, the child Madonna is trying to adopt, is being called an "opportunist" by Mercy's family. [NY Daily News]
• Did writer James Frey tape his phonecalls with Oprah Winfrey or did he just make it seem like he did, in a new "fictional" passage in his book? [Page Six]
• George Clooney is willing to help his buddy Rande Gerber — Cindy Crawford's husband — in regards to that sexual-harassment lawsuit filed against him. Turns out Cloons was with Gerber the night of the alleged incident. This should get interesting… [E!]
• Gerber says both he and Clooney are willing to take lie detector tests! [MSNBC Scoop]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Is Gisele Bundchen pregnant? [Page Six]
• Courteney Cox ran into Brad Pitt at a concert — you know, her best friend's ex-husband — and "chatted away" with him all night. Page Six seems to think this was evil of her. [Page Six]
• Spencer Pratt spoke to The Daily Beast, dropping gems like: "Heidi and I do we love fame… We're honored to be famous. We feel blessed to be famous. We pray every day to stay famous. It's the most fun. That's our mentality with fame. That's why we're so different than everybody else in these tabloids-because we embrace it." He also says: "Interscope can put $18 million behind Nicole Scherzinger's flop solo album, but Heidi and I are going the underground route, where iTunes takes its cut, and the rest goes to Heidi. Sure, Lady Gaga's got hit songs, but she's eating at Taco Bell. Heidi's got amazing songs and has her portrait on the wall at Cut [steak house in Los Angeles]." And! "Twittering is an absolute gift from God." [The Daily Beast]
• So you know how Jessica Simpson is, inexplicably, on the June cover of Vanity Fair? The mag's PR director says it's because: "She's at a crossroads in her career… Where she's headed - or not - says a lot about the nature of celebrity in America. And she looks pretty decent in a swimsuit, contrary to recent reports." All together now: *headdesk.* [MSNBC Scoop]
• Amy Winehouse has been "frolicking" with a "mystery man" in St. Lucia; as seen in these pictures, dude is dark & lovely. He may be a "local sheller" named Anton Moses; a source says: "Amy has become very cozy with Anton. Amy sets aside every evening to spend time with him and each day he saves her his best shell." [Daily Mail]
• The woman who is accused of having a thing with Jon Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus 8 speaks! Deanna Hummel says: "We're just friends." [People]
• Susan Boyle is so popular now she's had to changed her phone number. For her home phone, that is: The "technophobe" has been given a mobile phone but is "nervous" about using it. [The Sun]
• Dolly Parton's children's book, I Am A Rainbow, drops May 14. "It's about moods - pink for shy, red for angry, green for jealous," she says. "It teaches children that we all have these moods; it's about what you do with them." [USA Today]
• Liam Neeson has spoken to the ski instructor who last saw Natasha Richardson alive. A source says: "He was very dignified and never sought to blame anyone - he just wanted to understand what happened for his own peace of mind." [The Sun]
• NBC wants advertisers to know that Jay Leno is "advertiser friendly," and "not afraid to experiment with live commercials and with sponsorships." Which doesn't sound desperate at all! [AdAge]
• "Since swine flu is super trendy I wanted to make sure I was in style with my swine flu ring!" blogged Katy Perry. There's a picture of her new ring, which is a sparkly flying piggy. Katy also blogged about a conversation she had with her cat, Kitty Purry: "Kitty Purry was telling me the other night that she remembers when bird flu was in and now pig flu is cool and she wonders when kitty flu is gonna hit," writes Perry, "as she would like to be more popular than she currently already is. Fame whore." [People]
• Ed Westwick was spotted kissing costar Jessica Szohr at the BritWeek charity football match in L.A., but when asked if his girlfriend was there to support him, Westwick answered, "My who?" [Mirror]
• Christina Aguilera will make her silver screen debut in a flick called Burlesque. She'll play "an ambitious smalltown girl with a big voice who finds love, family and success in a Los Angeles neo-burlesque club." In other words, yes, she will sing. [Variety]
• Jack White wants Kate Moss on his new band Dead Weather's album. As an aside: White Moss would be a cool name for a band. [The Sun]
• By the by, Meg White is engaged to guitarist Jackson Smith, son of Patti Smith and Fred Smith. [People]
• Also betrothed: Alyssa Milano and CAA agent Dave Bugliari, who just had an engagement party Saturday. [E!]
• Bebe Neuwirth was wed to Chris Calkins, founder of Napa Valley's Destino vineyard, in a "quiet" Buddhist/Christian ceremony performed by Peter Coyote, who has one of the best voices in showbiz. [Page Six]
• Mad Men! Returns! But will be sorta delayed! It was supposed to come back in July! But we'll have to wait until August! Still! Mad Men! Returns! [Variety]
• Click the link at the end of this sentence if you would like to see a giant Lego portrait of JK Rowling, which kids helped build. [Telegraph]
• Your friend Billy Zane has baby fever! "I'm single right now — and kind of loving it," he says. "[But] I hear the patter of little feet. But I foresee that - I sense it, I feel it, I feel it coming. It's just a sense that you get. I think I'm ready for fatherhood. But I'm not out there hunting for my bride - as of yet." Then he got in the lifeboat and left you behind. [Daily Express]
• Ed McMahon, who was suing L.A.'s Cedars-Sinai hospital for misdiagnosing a neck fracture, has settled his lawsuit. [TMZ]
• "Dallas star Victoria Principal 'threatened maid with a gun after accusing her of taking too long walking her dog.'" [Daily Mail]
• "It's peculiar and unnerving in a way to see so many young people walking around with cellphones and iPods in their ears and so wrapped up in media and video games. It robs them of their self-identity. It's a shame to see them so tuned out to real life." — Bob Dylan to Rolling Stone. [Page Six]
• "You know, I've seen him [Springsteen] several times in concert, and I've only met him twice and I put out my hand and I mumbled. I couldn't get a sentence out. The same thing happened with Mick Jagger. We were on the plane coming back from Miami." — Henry Winkler, aka The Fonz. [Daily Express]
• "I no longer feel insecure about my acting. Early on I took any job that was offered, milking it for the money. I had no idea what I was doing - that's when insecurity and self-loathing start." — Tom Hanks, star of Turner Y Hooch. [Mirror]
• "My friend's mom, Wendy, blogs almost daily on a site called Wendy from Encore which goes great with my morning coffee. I like to catch up with my friends across the country by reading their blogs, which is ironic as the phrases 'my friend's blog,' 'blogging' or 'blogosphere' always make me cringe. I just happen to have some very clever friends who are wonderful writers and offer up a slice of real everyday life." — Scarlett Johansson. [The Daily Beast]
• "I always find it funny that so much skin-cream advertising features, like, Jessica Alba. She's gorgeous and 12!" — Brooke Shields to More. [Page Six]

• Tyra Banks will be in court this week; she's expected to testify in the trial of her alleged stalker, Brady Green.

How weird will it be to be face-to-face with the guy? Oh, and get this: Green's lawyer's argument is that Tyra is to blame. "She invites fans that are inspired by her show to reach out to her," defense lawyer Sydney O'Hagen said in opening arguments at Green's trial. "Mr. Green was a fan, albeit perhaps an overzealous fan." Green allegedly sent flowers and love letters to Tyra, and then when an employee of her talk show refused to give him the address of the studio over the phone, Green said: "You're fucking lying, I'm going to find you and slit your throat." [NY Daily News, NY Post, AP]

• Casey Aldridge, the father of Jamie Lynn Spears' baby, was injured in a car accident yesterday; he was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. [Breitbart]
• This report claims that Casey Aldridge has a "cracked skull." [NY Post]
• Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding had a "spring feeling," meaning the colors were green and yellow and people drank margaritas while eating appetizers like tuna tartare and chicken salad. No one noticed the glowering specter in the corner, the one named "In The Grand Scheme These People Are Irrelevant." [People]
• Miss California, Carrie Prejean, received a "hero's welcome" when appearing at a San Diego megachurch. "'You need to apologize to the gay community. You need to not talk about your faith. This has everything to do with you representing California and saving the brand,'" Prejean recalled being told. "I was representing California. I was representing the majority of people in California." She also said: "I learned that God has a bigger crown than any man can give you." [AP]
• Clearcast, a TV company in the UK, wants to cut scenes from Keira Knightley's domestic violence ad before it is broadcast; specifically, the scenes where the actress is being thrown to the ground and kicked — the organization believes it is too violent. [Telegraph]
• The Sanskrit tattoo on Rihanna's hip is misspelled, but the tattoo artist says she wouldn't care: "It's copied off of a necklace that she got from somebody important to her," he explains. [UPI]
• Actress Vanessa A. Williams — not to be confused with Ugly Betty's Vanessa L. Williams — is using Rihanna's name on an invitation to a violence-prevention event. Rihanna is not involved with the organization, but the copy reads: "On February 8th, when famed singer Rihanna was allegedly beaten by her boyfriend, she was not alone." [Page Six]
• Susan Boyle auditioned for a TV show 14 years ago, and was rejected. [Daily Mail]
• Guy Ritchie has purchased a house 200 yards from Madonna's London mansion, putting him "as close as possible" to the kids. In addition, a source says Guy laughed when he found out that her Madgesty's new man, Jesus Luz, speaks very little English, saying: "Blimey, no wonder the whole thing works so perfectly." [The Sun]
• Is Jesus Luz only getting modeling jobs because of his relationship with Madonna? [Page Six]
• This paper claims Amy Winehouse is being called the "Pied Piper Of St. Lucia," since she loves hanging out with kids. But you get the feeling that the only person calling her that is whomever wrote this story. [The Sun]
• Henry Ian Cusick, aka Desmond on Lost, is being sued by a former ABC Entertainment employee for sexual harassment. He's been married for 3 years after being with his wife for 14 years and the couple has 3 sons. [Daily Mail]
• Apparently two high school guys saw Kate Winslet in her workout gear and commented on her "big hot booty." [Page Six]
• "Every Friday that he's shooting a movie, Hugh Jackman comes to work with a bag full of lottery tickets. He gives them to everyone who works on his movies: co-stars, camera crews, set hands, the people who cater the food. He doesn't play." [USA Today]
• Miley Cyrus says that she and Nick Jonas are just friends and not back together — if you heard that he is her boyfriend it is just a "stupidddd rumor." She Twittered: "It makes me sad to think that people out there aren't friends with THEIR ex bf, because let me tell u it IS possible." [People]
• Jennifer Hudson performed a concert in her hometown of Chicago — her first since her mother, brother and nephew were killed there. She didn't talk about the murders but did dedicate "You Pulled Me Though" to family members in the audience. [UPI]
• Will you look at the way Tina is looking at Beyoncé? It is soooo "tired mom." [Concrete Loop]
• Speaking of Beyoncé, guess who has another hit flick? Obsessed was number one at the box office with $28 million. [MSNBC Scoop, NY Daily News]
• Surely this will come as shocking, shocking news: The ladies of The Real Housewives Of New Jersey have ties to the mob. [NY Daily News]
• If you're a dedicated fan, get your credit card ready: Various props from the newest George Clooney flick, Up In The Air, are going up for sale. [UPI]
• Kobe Bryant demanded creative control over the documentary Spike Lee filmed of the basketball star, and an insider claims "Spike completely yielded." [Page Six]
• Jon Hamm and ladyfriend Jennifer Westfeldt have formed a production company named Points West Pictures. They have 3 projects in development and all will feature at least one of the couple. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Jamie Foxx has recorded a message for Nineline, a crisis helpline run by Convenant House, the agency which works with homeless kids. Says a spokesperson: "Now kids in crisis will not only hear a reassuring voice but a well-known, positive role model." [Hollywood Reporter]
• If you're interested in reading an essay about Mike Tyson written by Ice-T, click here. [The Daily Beast]
• There's tension and "cattiness" in the Pussycat Dolls; in a recent concert, Melody said: "Thank you so much for supporting me - even if I'm not featured, you know what I'm saying?" [NY Daily News]
• Katy Perry and Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes: Back on. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Walsh's divorce is getting nasty — there's a quibble over the accounting firm Walsh is using, which her estranged husband Alex Young says is doing PR for Walsh. [TMZ]
• Daniel Radcliffe is the "12th richest young person in the UK." He's got more cash than Princes William and Harry! [Telegraph]
• If you have $27,9995,000, you can buy the Holmby Hills house of Kimberly and Hugh Hefner. [LA Times]
• Yes, yes, James Franco's student films are inspired by gay poetry. [NY Mag]
• Ugly Betty returns this week, ending the rumor that the show was cancelled. [NY Daily News]
• Liam Neeson and his sons are "keeping busy with normal life" — like going to Knicks games. [People, Mirror]
• In this article, Dominic Monaghan spills on all of his travel memories. He says: "I do remember a fantastic holiday to Thailand with Billy Boyd and Orlando Bloom in my early twenties. We were all single, young and up for an adventure. We went to Bangkok then took off to the islands." [Independent]
• Curious what's up with Michael Keaton? He's directed a film, The Merry Gentlemen. And he's broken his foot. [LA Times]
• In a lengthy interview, Natasha McElhone talks about dealing with grief since the death of her husband one year ago. [Guardian]
• Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood, 61, plans to marry his girlfriend Ekaterina, 20, just as soon as he can get a "speedy" divorce from his wife, Jo, 54. [Mirror]
• Actor Campbell Scott got engaged in November, but we're just hearing about it now? Eh, congrats. [People]
• "Kylie Minogue and Richard Branson lose money but make UK rich list." [News.com.au]
• Aerosmith will perform on Maui to settle a class-action lawsuit resulting from a concert cancellation in 2007. [AP]
• "He was renowned for wearing grandpa-style spectacles but it now emerges that John Lennon's iconic look came about by accident…" [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "Which alcoholic songbird wears her sunglasses even inside her hair salon so no one can see how sauced she is?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I love her. It's great for her. It's what she wanted." — Josh Lucas on ex-girlfriend Salma Hayek getting married in Venice on Saturday. [People]
• "Tax got to 82% [in the 1970s] and I thought this was kind of unfair. Also, I see... that the government has taken it up to 50% and if it goes to 51 I will be back in America. I will not pay the Government more than I get. No way, ever. So they've reached their limit with me. That's the lot." — Michael Caine. [Telegraph]
• "I did read a scene for the Coen brothers last year, which they were amazed I would do. I was amazed they were amazed because apparently there's a whole etiquette I'm not aware of that says if you've been in a couple of films, you don't read. Which I find very strange, because how are the filmmakers supposed to know whether you can do it or not? I was very happy to read." — Tilda Swinton, when asked if she has ever auditioned for a role. [Backstage]
• "Life's a pain in the butt. You've got to be in shape for it. And the hell with the good old days. The most important thing is now. What are you this moment?" — Jack LaLanne, who still works out every day for two hours, lifting weights and swimming, at age 94. [Reuters]
• "I knew it was a joke. I knew it was supposed to be silly. Something like that I don't even take seriously. I thought it was hilarious." — Beyoncé, on the "screeching" clip made by prankster Matthew Zeghibe. [Gatecrasher]
• "I was raised in the country. When it was warm outside we were out there in shorts, no shirt, no shoes. I was doing that long before anybody was taking pictures and people like you were seeing it." — Matthew McConaughey. [Newsweek]
• "I know I've never done any independent film before…but there aren't that many other scripts out there with great parts for women my age. It's a true phenomenon that the parts dwindle as you get older. You wake up one day and you're flabbergasted to find out…so, this has happened to me. When I started out," she continues, "It was right around the time when Meryl Streep and Jessica Lange and Sally Field-all these actresses getting older-were still having big movies every year. There was a Sophie's Choice, a Norma Rae, etc. I thought, this is a new era, and I won't have to worry. It will all be fixed by the time I'm 40! And of course, it wasn't. All of us female actors think we can just keep going and going. But it's not always the case." — Geena Davis. [The Daily Beast]
• "We know so much about every actor on planet Earth. We know how they like to slice their avocado, what they named their baby. When I'm watching them save the world in a movie, I don't want to be thinking about their baby's name. I will now go on record to say I'm not going to even name my kid." — Ryan Reynolds. [NY Mag]

• El oh el: It appears none of the celebrity weeklies have bought exclusive rights to pictures of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's wedding this weekend.

A source says they're not worried, because chances are, the pix will end up in all the mags: "They'd rather be on page 50 of Us, People, In Touch or Life & Style than be on the cover of a magazine like OK! that isn't going to sell. They need to make money, and so does the magazine. The formula is changing," spills a source. [MSNBC Scoop]

• In this video of concert footage, Britney's extensions get ripped out of her head and left behind on a couch. [Perez Hilton]
• Kudos to TMZ for the headline, "Britney Weaves It All On Stage." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen celebrated the end of her tour by having a "massive ice cream fight" in her dressing room. But she paid the clean-up bill: "Cost me $2,000. End of tour, time to get mashed." [The Sun]
• In case you forgot that Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz has a job, he totally walked the runway in a Jeffrey Fashion Cares fashion show. How do we feel about those white trousers? [WWD]
• Even though Miley Cyrus is with Justin Gaston, is she still hung up on her ex, Nick Jonas? Were they making out recently? Are they MFEO (made for each other)? [Gatecrasher]
• Jay Leno, who hasn't missed work in years, checked himself into a hospital with a "mystery illness." [NY Daily News]
• Paris Hilton's "BFF," Brittany Flickinger, was in a car crash in Hollywood last night; she wasn't wearing a seat belt and slammed her head into the windshield. Luckily, she escaped with only a chipped bone in her leg. [TMZ]
• Behold: Video of Justin Timberlake, in foxy glasses, talking about his mancrush on LeBron James: "He just lights me up!" He also declares Caddy Shack as the best sports movie ever. [Rolling Stone]
• Ashton Kutcher's Twitter can now be considered a place to break new artists; he wrote about an unsigned singer/songwriter named Alex Highton and now the guy's MySpace is blowing up. [Telegraph]
• Guess who stars in one of Kanye West's next videos? Rihanna. Yeezy says, "She's an amazing talent…Collaborating with her is always a pleasure!" [Fashion Week Daily]
• Amy Winehouse's dad flew to St. Lucia yesterday to check on the singer. Will they go horseback riding together? [The Sun]
• Beyoncé wants to do Broadway in a couple of years, when she's settled down and had some rugrats with Jay-Z: "It's my ideal job," she explains. "I'll be able to go to the theater every day and drop my kids off and maybe make some food — maybe I'll know how to cook by then — and then go do what I love and have some normalcy and have a regular schedule." [Reuters]
• Kim Kardashian on Miss California, Carrie Prejean: "I don't agree with her narrow mindedness and neither do a lot of people… Everyone has the right to be happy and be treated equally and I think not allowing gay marriage just kind of puts us back." But KK also says: "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. She stood up for what she believes in so she should be happy with that backlash." [People]
• Is Pam Anderson down and out? Or is Courtney Love high? Wait. Don't answer that. Courtney says: "Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove — which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu." [Page Six]
• This piece about Russell Crowe begins: "He is a man's man - or, rather, he is the kind of man in whom shabby, ageing, overweight, altogether untidy and unresolved males can see their manly image. In other words, Russell Crowe seems more than happy taking very little care of himself, his appearance or his 'glamour.'" Why don't you tell us how you really feel? [Guardian]
• Jerry Seinfeld's grandparents arrived in this country via Ellis Island, and their story will be in the spotlight on May 19, when the Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island Foundation bestows a "family heritage" award on Seinfeld. [NY Times]
• Parker Posey is no longer dating Keanu Reeves and has moved on to a graphic designer and sculptor named Scott Lenhardt. As seen in this picture, they're super happy and adorbs. [NY Mag]
• Aww, pictures of Slumdog Millionaire stars Dev Patel and Freida Pinto nuzzling up to each other over lunch in Israel — where Pinto is filming — will melt your cold, tiny heart. [Daily Mail]
• This report calls Kate Middleton Prince William's "bride in waiting," and notes that it's been discovered that she's related to Swallows And Amazons creator Arthur Ransome. [Daily Express]
• Blogger Julia Allison lives in the same apartment building as Rosie O'Donnell. Wednesday she posted a Twitter which read: "Holy shit. My neighbor Rosie O'Donnell has been having a knock down drag out screaming match with Kelli for the last hour. Sad. :( " Anywho, JA deleted the post, maybe because it's an invasion of privacy, but it's sorta too late. [Ed note: This will be the only mention of Ms. Allison on this blog for all of 2009.] [Gawker]
• Dane Cook was on Larry King Live, talking about his half-brother and former manager who embezzled millions from him: "It's a terrible betrayal. But hopefully justice will be served and I can move on with my life." [ET]
• Sniffle: Elton John, Paul McCartney and Mick Jagger have lost "huge chunks" of their personal fortunes due to the economic crisis. [Reuters]
• Stephen Dorff has joined the cast of the porn industry comedy Born To Be A Star, which is produced and co-written by Adam Sandler. [Variety]
• Blind item! "Which closeted - and married - actor almost had his cover blown when he hit on a straight man in a sauna? Word is the offended dude is now quite wealthy, thanks to a payoff." [Gatecrasher]
• "Although I'm her friend, [I don't want to defend her to her detractors] because that's their right as well. They feel really strongly about their opinion for pro-gay rights, and that's great." — Miss USA on Miss California. [Gatecrasher]
• "I realized I was spending hours and hours in the middle of the night signing autographs. Unless I had assistants forging letters and signatures I knew I couldn't continue. So I posted a message on the internet saying: 'If I can't do it honestly, I won't do it any more.'" — Viggo Mortensen, on answering fan mail. [Daily Mail]
• "He called me and said, 'You know let's do it right away.' It was really emotional. I think the only way he could have come back was right after because his family was all there to support his boys. Liam is heroic. He came back and finished. I think he's trying to absorb [what's happened] ... He's suddenly a single parent with absolutely no preparation for that. But he is surrounded by people that really love him. There is a lot of support." — Director Atom Egoyan, on Liam Neeson, who returned to the set of the film Chloe days after his wife Natasha Richardson died. [People]
• "We're just extremely careful with our shit. I keep a CD with me, I'm the only one who usually has a CD. Maybe me and Dre… Other than that, nobody has it." — Eminem, on how his new album avoided getting leaked. [Rolling Stone]
• "Watching it was horribly unhealthy for me. You think that would help keep me sober, you know seeing myself as this raving lunatic...It absolutely triggered these crazy urges to get loaded." — Steve-O on watching his upcoming documentary about his addiction and recovery. [E!]
• "For some reason people think like if you tell someone they're too thin that's OK. But if you tell someone they're too heavy that's insulting… It hurts either way. I'm the same weight I was before I was pregnant. I've been pregnant for two years in a row. I'm the same weight I was on 90210. I'm the same weight I was before I met Dean and we got married. It's the same." — Tori Spelling. [AP]
• "If you read some of his early-life autobiography, it's horrible... the amount of mental anguish he has to go through, just to have any kind of even vaguely sexual relationship. It's really depressing what he's going through in his head. Dali had a massive fear of penetration – penetrating someone or being penetrated… [As for the love scenes with a man,] I think girls almost really like watching something like that. From what I've read, people really get excited about that – it sounds really sexy!" — Robert Pattinson on playing Salvador Dali. [Independent]
• "Marijuana has always been that drug that united people. It's always been on the verge of being legal. It's hardly a drug really. When people look at marijuana, they look at it as an enjoyment of connecting." — Redman. [NY Daily News]
• "Most of the time, songs that I write end up being finished in 30 minutes or less. 'Love Story' I wrote on my bedroom floor in about 20 minutes. When I get on a roll with something, it's really hard for me to put it down unfinished. — From "10 Questions For Taylor Swift." [Time]
• "I don't even know what 'tweeting' means ... but it sounds dirty!" — Michelle Trachtenberg. [Gatecrasher]

• Since everyone apparently loves a catfight, this report claims that Lindsay Lohan calls Sam Ronson's "team" "jealous people with bad fucking energy." [E!]

• "Lindsay's Grandmother Is Heartbroken." Um, headdesk. Michael Lohan's mom says she hasn't seen LL in over a year and "I think she needs her family in her life." Really, we're interviewing grandmas now? Really? [People]
• This report claims that Lindsay is "bereft" over her split with Sam and "the saddest girl in the world." Adding to the drama is the fact that LL is not working or booking any jobs. [Page Six]
• Madonna has been making "tearful" phone calls to Guy Ritchie ever since her adoption attempt was turned down, and Guy has been consoling her. This paper feels the need to add, "Madge being civil is a shock. Almost as shocking as her dressing her age for a night out…" [The Sun]
• Is Halle Berry's Bazaar cover a Photoshop Of Horrors? [NY Daily News]
• Halle says: "I'm usually watching The Biggest Loser, eating Doritos." And she shops online. But her gorge boyfriend keeps things interesting: "I have a 33-year-old man," she says. "That'll keep your mojo mojo-in." [Ny Daily News]
• Have lunch with Jon Hamm. No, really! [Breitbart]
• Boo: There is no Kate Moss cook book. Her spokesperson says, "We do not know where it came from but it is definitely false." [Daily Express]
• Some audience members were smoking pot at Britney's concert and she told them to cut it out because if lighting or crew members high above the stage got sick or dizzy it would be bad news bears. [Perez]
• Nadya Suleman is in talks to do a reality show, though she denies it and so do Lifetime, TLC and Oxygen. Please don't let it be on Fox, home of The Littlest Groom and Man vs. Beast. [TMZ]
• Would you like to know the plot of Sex And The City 2: Electric Boogaloo? Highlight this hidden text:
  Big cheats on Carrie, DUH. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Mischa Barton would like for you to know that she is happy with her body now. "The only way to be happy and be a more enjoyable person to be around is to embrace what you've got. Everyone has issues about their body, but I feel confident now. I'm healthy and happy." Which sucks more: That tabloids used to pick on her cellulite, or that she felt the need to make this statement and pose naked for Cosmo UK? Also, does she work? [The Sun]
• Spike Jonze was seen eating eggs with 3-year-old Matilda Ledger; Michelle Williams came and picked them up when they were done. [Page Six]
• Squee! Even though they are divorced, Pink and Carey Hart are still trying to make it work! Carey says: "We're working shit out, I admit it." I don't know why I love them together but I do. Sniff. [The Sun]
• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are dunzo; apparently he wanted to get married but she wasn't ready. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Michael Phelps was seen doing shots and making out with his gf at a NYC club. [Gatecrasher]
• This video of Hugh Laurie and the cast of House experiencing a pretty awesome April Fool's prank — in which Laurie actually smiles, briefly — may warm the cockles of your cold and tiny heart. Yes, the cockles. [Videogum]
• More women have contacted the LAPD with rape charges against the So You Think You Can Dance choreographer Alex Da Silva. The case is still under investigation. [Breitbart]
• Seriously, did Bruce Springsteen break up some dude's marriage by sexing his wife? [MSNBC]
• The People cover story this week is about how John Travolta and Kelly Preston are "living with grief" since the death of Jett Travolta. A "pal" says "They aren't secluding themselves or paralyzed. [Seeing them] was like old times. Nothing awkward and no topics to dance around. There were smiles." [People]
• This article is called "The Day John Lennon Proposed To Me (Pity I Thought He Was Joking!)" [Daily Mail]
• Toga, anyone? Liam Neeson will play Zeus and Ralph Fiennes will play Hades in the remake of Clash Of The Titans. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Brittany Murphy has been cast in The Expendables, an action flick with Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke and Jet Li. Brittany will play Mickey Rourke's girlfriend, and there is nothing creepy about that at all. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Brothers Kieran Culkin and Rory Culkin play brothers in a new movie, Lymelife. [NY Post]
• In a wise move, the Pet Shop Boys have rejected a request from PETA that they rename themselves the Rescue Shelter Boys. [BBC News]
• Blind item! "Which seemingly straight married actor conducts his man-to-man hanky-panky in the hangar of the Santa Monica Airport?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It's always exciting to work with new people, kind of get new experiences, to see how other people do it. I think that makes you a better moviemaker, ultimately, to work with as many different people as you can. There's definitely a comfort level I have with Judd [Apatow] — kind of a shorthand, if you will — but I enjoy working with other people still. I'm sure he gets sick of me, too." — Seth Rogen. [Reuters]
• "I have now reluctantly decided that I cannot, in good conscience, continue to be the public face of a charity that is changing beyond recognition from the one with which I have been so proud to be associated." — JK Rowling, stepping down from her role with the MS Society Scotland, which has internal issues. [Telegraph]
• "Because I write them, I already have a tone in my head. I occasionally make the males scream and suffer about their deaths, because I assume that nobody wants to die. Even in mating." — Isabella Rosselini on filming the bee segment of her Green Porno series. [Time]
• "I lived briefly in New York — Garden City — when I was in kindergarten. But I started my performing [in the city] at the Bitter End. That would be 1970. I stayed in Shel Silverstein's apartment, but I couldn't tell you where it was. Memory is not my strong suit. I can't even remember what I had for lunch." (Did you have some problems with drinking and drugs?) "I never thought of them as a problem, so much as a solution. I probably never would have been able to get up onstage. Now, I mainly drink red wine." — Kris Kristofferson. [NY Post]
• "It was a stupid joke because it rhymes. In the hands of a responsible journalist, humor and sarcasm will be translated appropriately. It was not meant as disrespectful in any way. In England, we have great rhyming slang, and everyone spends their day rhyming. But for all the trouble that comment caused, there were many people who were supportive." — Sienna Miller, after calling Pittsburgh "Shitsburgh." [NY Daily News]

• In case you hadn't noticed, a new Lindsay Lohan feeding frenzy has begun.

Does the woman have problems? Probably. Sure. This headline, however — "Lindsay Meltdown! Chugging Vodka After Breakup With Sam" — is just sensationalist. She was seen drinking, and crying, but her mom was there, sipping wine. So. [RadarOnline]

• More on this in Midweek Madness but: On this week's Us: Lindsay Lohan. Suicidal. [Perez]
• And Lindsay says she's in "absolute hell." [Us Magazine]
• Samantha Ronson is not, repeat not seeking a restraining order against Lindsay Lohan, and she and LL "are totally communicating." [People]
• Madonna has donated about half a million bucks to Italian earthquake victims; her grandparents lived in Pacentro, Italy, until 1919. [People]
• Howard K. Stern's lawyer says Stern is innocent and "no one enabled" Anna Nicole Smith when it came to drugs. Yeah, sure. [CNN]
• Rihanna is leaving Barbados after partying with her grandparents; she looks super happy in this pic snapped at the airport. [TMZ]
• Cops continue to investigate the shooting at Gisele's wedding; can't you just imagine bodyguards shrugging and feigning innocence while their guns are concealed under their jackets? [Mirror]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps — soon to be divorced — was seen singing karaoke while having a girls' night out, just like classy royals are wont to do. [Page Six]
• I'm not loving Rachel McAdams' hair on the cover of the new Marie Claire but what are you gonna do. She is a cutie, though. [ONTD]
• So Rachel McAdams took part in Marie Claire's book club, and read Prodigal Summer. She says: "I absolutely fell in love with this book. I don't think I got out of bed for three days-I was just eating it up. My favorite story line was the one between Deanna and Eddie Bondo. I found that totally hot. It was one of the hottest love stories I've ever read." [ONTD]
• You know how Paris Hilton has been saying Doug Reinhardt was "going to be" her husband? Apparently she is thinking about a summer wedding, maybe August in the Bahamas. Five bucks says no. [Mirror]
• Taylor Swift looks gaudy and scheming on the new eye-searing cover of Seventeen. [Perez]
• Jessica Simpson is "ignoring" Eminem's video, which is probably best. Also, she has not been dropped from her country label; she was "on loan" and continues to be on Epic records or whatever. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Zac Efron stars in an epic Funny Or Die video that's supposed to go up later today. Also in the clip: Brody Jenner, Joel Madden, Queen Latifah, Justin Long, Nicole Richie, Vanessa Hudgens, Carmen Electra, Brittany Snow and Lance Bass. [EW]
• Amy Poehler and a dead squirrel are on the cover of TV Guide. Amy dishes on the secret of her success: "In 1992, I met an old gypsy woman on the side of the road and she gave me a magic bean. I ate it and that was it. The hard part was I had to chop off her head after she gave it to me. But now look at me. I'm famous." [Just Jared]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, is talking about how she financed her in vitro: She inherited $30,000 from an aunt and worked overtime at her job in addition to the disability payments she received. [MSNBC]
• There' some kind of feud going on between Holly Madison and a Las Vegas TV reporter, but honestly? Yawn. [Perez]
• Meanwhile, Kendra Wilkinson has been hanging out at the shooting range. [People]
• Peaches Geldof went clubbing and someone poured a beer on her head and this is newsworthy. [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz got fan mail… from French Prez Nicolas Sarkozy! [Reuters]
• Helena Bonham Carter will be in Terminator: Salvation; apparently stills released this week show her with half her face shaved off and her brain visible. Bring it! [Independent]
• Can you picture Al Pacino playing Napoleon? It's gonna happen! For a screen adaptation of a children's book called Betsy And The Emperor. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Rob Lowe won his lawsuit against his former nanny, by the by. She violated the confidentiality agreement she signed by telling everyone Lowe's business. [TMZ]
• Gorgeous and talented Sanaa Lathan will host Lens On Talent, a BET show for undiscovered filmmakers. [USA Today]
• Liam Neeson went to the 70th birthday party of Sir David Frost, on of Neeson's first appearances since the death of his wife, Natasha Richardson. [Telegraph]
• Tim Roth will play a "gnarled tramp" in Skellig, a family film to be shown on TV Easter weekend in the UK. [Telegraph]
• One of the choreographers from So You Think You Can Dance, who was arrested last week for alleged sexual assaults, is expected to be released without any charges pressed by prosecutors. Yeah. [TMZ]
• Jamie Waylett, 19, also known as Vincent Crabbe in the Harry Potter movies, was busted for having a cannabis farm at his mum's house. Maybe he needed it for his Defence Against the Dark Arts class? Herbivus inhalus! [Daily Mail]
• What the world needs now: A Seinfeld porn parody. [The Sun]
• For the love of Zeus why are they remaking Romancing The Stone?!?!?! [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which seemingly down-to-earth starlet is actually a wicked diva? When she wasn't featured as prominently as her other cast members in a recent photo shoot, she left the set in a huff." [Gatecrasher]
• Strictly Come Dancing is an obsession for my entire family. I don't watch much TV but I like that show. You will see me on Strictly or the US version Dancing With The Stars." — Emily Blunt. [Daily Express]
• "We were both looking for our walks, having this great time competing and yet helping each other. I tried all these walks, like that Monty Python sketch, the silly walks. I went to bars in Texas, trying to pass as Texan, trying to get something real. He got his walk, I found mine. And then I came into the make-up room and he shows up with these horrible false teeth that he'd gotten from his dentist. I was so jealous. I mean, I had a walk, he had the limp. But he had the teeth, too." — Jon Voight, on working on classic film Midnight Cowboy with Dustin Hoffman. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I loved the way [the author, Barbara Kingsolver] linked the interconnectedness of nature with the interconnectedness of human relationships. When she writes in the beginning that "solitude is only a human presumption," I thought that was so true. I mean, we all think we're the center of the universe, but we don't exist alone. It's that ripple idea that you cannot touch one thing without affecting another." — Rachel McAdams on Prodigal Summer. [ONTD]
• "I'll be a soccer mom. Like Posh Spice. I'll be there in my heels cheering on my kids. 'Go, team, go!' But I'll have no idea what's going on." — Miley Cyrus, on where she'll be in 10 years. [USA Today]
• "It's a serious crime and there's no doubt it's very disappointing — I was heartbroken by it. Obviously people are seeing an unfinished film. It's like a Ferrari without a paint job." — Hugh Jackman on the Wolverine leak, about which he is "heartbroken." [Reuters]

• Madonna is making moves in Malawi: This picture at the link shows 4-year-old Mercy, the girl she's trying to adopt, holding hands with possible new sister Lourdes. [Daily Mail]

• Oprah faces yet another scandal involving her Leadership Academy for Girls in South Africa; seven students allegedly engaged in "inappropriate behaviors." [Socialite Life]
• This report says that even though girls at Oprah's school were expelled, this is not a sex scandal. [MSNBC]
• Lisa Ling's sister Laura and another journalist being detained in North Korea are headed for a trial on the basis of "already confirmed suspicions," which doesn't sound good. [People]
• Bridget Moynahan is furious with Gisele Bundchen for telling Vanity Fair she loved Tom Brady's son like he was her own. Someone close to Bridget says: "If Gisele loved Bridget's child like he was '100 percent her own,' then she would not talk about him in the press. Discretion and respect are not either of Gisele or Tom's virtues, as was evidenced even when the child was still unborn and they publicly flaunted their relationship without any discretion whatsoever." [Page Six]
• Kate Moss is supposedly in New York to open the new TopShop here and OMGCLOTHESOMG. [Daily Mail]
• Shocker: Britney's Candie's ads have been Photoshopped! Won't someone think of the children? [Daily Mail]
• Josh Holly, the dude who hacked into Miley Cyrus' email and had his apartment raided by the FBI back in October is still being investigated. Special Agent Scott Augenbaum says: "We're still working on it. He hasn't been arrested." Guess what Holly has been doing in the meantime? Hacking celeb MySpace accounts and spamming their "friends." [E!]
• Speaking of Miley, she looks ever so uncomfortable on the May cover of Glamour. [Just Jared]
• Stephen Colbert is warning NASA to name a new wing of the international space station after him or he will "seize power as space's evil tyrant overlord." [CNN]
• Holy crap yay! Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel are expecting their first baby! [Socialite Life]
• Singer Natalie Cole is in desperate need of a kidney; she went on Larry King last night to talk about it and dozens of emails came in, with offers from people saying they would get tested to see whether their kidney could be donated. Sometimes TV redeems itself. [CNN]
• In this photograph, Robert Pattinson looks like a folkie singer with long hair and a guitar. Scarier than a vampire? [E!]
• Kelly Rowland has left Columbia Records, the label she's been with since her Destiny's Child days. Good luck out there! [E!]
• American Idol's emo musical theater rocker, Adam Lambert, has a fan in Neil Patrick Harris: The How I Met Your Mother Star was in the audience last night and says, "No male in this competition has sung so well. He really hit those notes." [E!]
• A TV station in Panama City, FL decided that Osbournes: Reloaded was "not keeping with community standards" and declined to air the show after American Idol. [E!]
• A sneak peek at the new Sherlock Holmes flick: "Leave it to Robert Downey Jr. to turn Sherlock Holmes into a wisecracking action hero who ends up handcuffed naked to a bed." [Yahoo News via AP]
• Rachel McAdams says filming the Sherlock Holmes movie was "cold and dirty." "The 1800s were kind of dirty, I realized. I didn't think about that before." [Mirror]
• Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani will never collaborate musically: "We come from such band mentalities that it's something we've really done well to avoid," Gavin says. [Mirror]
• Dreamworks animated flicks like Kung Fu Panda and Monsters Vs. Aliens will be shown on FX, thanks to a deal between the channel and the distributor. [USA Today]
• Star Jones says her mind and body are not in sync: I'm still 300 lbs. in my head some days," she told Oprah. [People]
• Wanda Sykes and the Fox network are finalizing a deal for a Saturday late-night show. Bring it! [Yahoo News via Reuters]
• Some Slumdog Millionaire DVDs were released without the "making of" feature and "deleted scenes," which were advertised on the box. Buyers are bitching to Amazon about it; Amazon is blaming Fox. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Pedro, a film about the HIV positive Real World castmember Pedro Zamora, premieres tonight on MTV and LOGO. [LA Times]
• The Seattle home where Jimi Hendrix grew up has been destroyed; preservation efforts failed. [Mirror]
• Liam Neeson has completed Chloe, the film he was working on when his wife Natasha Richardson died. [CBS News]
• R.I.P Andy Hallet, who played the demon Lorne on Angel. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Blind item: "Which Academy Award winner, who constantly denies his philandering ways, was outed after sleeping with a publicist who blabbed to everyone?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I'm going to get smashed after doing this." — Ed Westwick, at the Dressed To Kilt show, before which he apparently stripped down to his underwear in a corner to change into his kilt. [Gatecrasher]
• "I break down a couple of times a week, at least. It gets overwhelming. Sometimes I think that I can't take this anymore. I just want to live a normal life. Olivia [Palermo] kind of mothers me and looks at me as a pet project…I'm not some country bumpkin. I'm from Los Angeles." — Whitney Port on The City. [Page Six]
• "If women look like her, that would be the perfect world. She doesn't need to change anything. Who likes stick skinny girls? Where's the flavor? Whoever likes those stick skinny girls never had sex before in their life." — Dancing With The Stars' "star" Gilles Marini, on people talking about Cheryl Burke's weight gain. [E!]
• "I want my dogs to be in my wedding, I am so serious." — Jennifer Hudson. [Mirror]
• "Girls are scary. Large groups of girls scare the (crap) out of me." — Kristen Stewart. [USA Today]
• I haven't read the books, but I saw the movie… I thought the movie was really bad." — Whitney Port, on Twilight. [Perez]

• Fox News sources are now saying that actress Natasha Richardson is being transported to NYC before she is taken off life support. She was hospitalized in Montreal for an injury suffered while skiing. [Fox News]

• Journalist Ian Halperin, who has written new book about Michael Jackson, claims the star is planning to get more plastic surgery before his comeback concerts start this summer. MJ's camp denies the story. [The Sun]
• Since Michael Jackson's London comeback concerts sold out in a matter of hours, he may bring the show to the U.S. when the European tour ends in January. [Perez Hilton]
• Lindsay Lohan was involved in a fender-bender last night, but she wasn't at the wheel. Her bodyguard/driver crashed into a wall outside the Mondrian Hotel in West Hollywood at 3:30am while Lindsay was in the car. [E!]
• A man showed up outside Nadya Suleman's home with a turkey baster and three tubes of "samples" strapped in his coat, waving a sign that said "I am the real OctoDad." Turns out it was rapper Smooth E trying to promote his song about Suleman. [TMZ]
• Britney Spears' camp is denying rumors that she will performa duet with Madonna, or anyone else, at an upcoming concert. [Perez Hilton]
• Star claims that Reese Witherspon was wearing an engagement ring presented to her by Jake Gyllenhaal at a recent Avon commercial shoot, but she took it off when she saw people staring because she's not ready to go public. [Star]
• An 8-week-old puppy Oprah Winfrey adopted from PAWS Chicago this month has died. Ivan, a blond-colored cocker spaniel, died from the parvo virus late last week. Oprah recently adopted him with Sadie, another cocker puppy. [UPI]
• Rihanna's mentor, music producer Evan Rogers says stars like Oprah and Tyra Banks reaching out to Rihanna may be making things worse for her. Rogers says: "I think that everyone has good intentions and means well, but it turns up the heat in terms of it seeming like the whole world is telling her what to do. At the end of the day, people forget that at 21, your perspective is very different. These kinds of things can happen to anyone, whether you're a celebrity or not." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen will have another wedding ceremony in Costa Rica with only 50 guests. [Radar]
• Catharina Franca, ex-girlfriend of Jesus Luz, says of his dating Madonna: "I think the age makes a difference and it is ridiculous for her. It's like my mum with a boyfriend my age, or even my grandmother. I think it's very weird. She is a ridiculous old bag, jumping around on stage at her age." Wow, Madonna is probably crying her eyes out over what this 18-year-old has to say. [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse took the stand today to enter a "not guilty" plea in court. She's accused of assaulting a woman at a high society ball last year. [People]
• Kanye West went to a table read for the Family Guy spinoff The Cleveland Show and will appear in animated form on the show. [People]
• Injured Harry Potter stuntman David Holmes only has a 5% chance of ever walking again. [Perez Hilton]
• Christina Ricci is engaged to Owen Benjamin. The two started dating in November. [Us]
• Donald Trump is being sued over a folded Baja-Mexico luxury condo building project. Trump sold his name to the project and people invested in it because they thought they were getting a quality product, but now they're out $32 million. [Perez Hilton]
• Here's a gallery of photos taken inside Mike Tyson's ostentatious abandoned house. [Boing Boing]
• This summer Jessica Biel will be in a production of Guys and Dolls at the Hollywood Bowl. [Perez Hilton]
• Parker Posey will star in the off-Broadway play This next season. The play is described as "an unromantic comedy" about the ups and downs of a woman turning 40. [AP]
• In the new Details A-Rod says he and Madonna are friends and he's sought her advice through the years because she's "smart" and "passionate about everything she does." "If there ever was any situation, she's a great ear to have," he says. A-Rod explains that they've actually known each other for years, saying, "I met her about 12 years ago in Miami, believe it or not. … I was trying to buy her house, and I couldn't afford it." [Entertainment Tonight]
• Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys runs a year-old movie company called Oscilloscope, which distributed the indie movie Wendy and Lucy starring Michelle Williams. He says he got into the business from attending film festivals. "I am a fan and would just come and end up watching five films a day, many of them great, and then coming away and wondering why they never got released. Now we can do something about that." [NY Times]
• Linda Hamilton will have a short voiceover at the beginning of Terminator Salvation. [Perez Hilton]
• Denise Richards says her two daughters are excited to meet their new half-brothers. " [Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen] just had the babies and we're letting Brooke heal," Richards said. "Then they will see their new brothers. They can't wait. They actually drew a picture for them, they are so excited." [People]
• Antonio Banderas has bought 50 percent of a winery in northern Spain. [AP]
• Elisha Cuthbert says her Old School costar Will Ferrell was "quiet, shy – a calm soul. That, to me, was really shocking." As for Vince Vaughn "He's witty, quick, and sarcastic – which can be a little intimidating. He's scary in the way that David Letterman is scary." [People]
• Salma Hayek says her new husband Francois Henri-Pinault was her stylist for the Golden Globes. She explains: "It was Christmas and I was just overwhelmed with so many things to do. He said, 'Let me help you. How can I help?' And I said, 'Well, I have to pick a dress for the Golden Globes,' ... So Bottega Veneta sent swatches and sketches, and François worked with the designer Tomas Maier, and he took care of everything." [People]
• Paul Rudd says that while promoting I Love You, Man he took a bathroom break with co-star Jason Segel before a TV interview. He decided it would be funny to pull his pants down to his ankles. Segel laughed and left the bathroom, but the joke backfired when a stranger entered. "I'm pulling my pants up in front of a urinal and my (rear end) is sticking out and the guy just like, walks in," Rudd said. [AP]
• Kim Kardashian did a photo shoot with her boyfriend Reggie Bush for the new issue of GQ. [People]
• Just in case you were dying to know what Kim Kardashian thinks about Lindsay Lohan's recent fight with Samantha Ronson, Kim says: "It's so sad that there's such an invasion of privacy, with camera people, cops and paparazzi outside their home. I mean, when have you not thrown something when you're mad? Everyone has to admit that at one time in their life, they've gotten so mad that they've thrown something, but maybe not necessarily breaking a window." [Perez Hilton]
• Before her blog was (probably) hacked, Roseanne Barr shared more thoughts on Rihanna, saying that Oprah and Tyra's view of domestic abuse is "out of date, and irrelevant and made me mad." She continues: Rhianna is a victim of chris brown to be sure, but nothing will ever change as long as the FACT is ignored that in the beginning of domestic violence, the female often (like Rhianna) colludes and ALSO IS VIOLENT!" She says after ending her abusive marriage to Tom Arnold, "I was in a lot of groups and noticed how many women said that they stayed because they mistakenly thought: 'I am not like all these other helpless women who get beat, I hit back, or I hit first. I am not a helpless victim, I am a strong fighter, and I can handle this'. Then comes the time when his strength is too much to withstand, and the sobering reality that you are in fact just another victim hits you. [Roseanne's Blog]

Update: Due to the original link not working, we got in touch with Time Out New York's publicist, who tells us that the magazine's editors are now amending their original story to report that Ms. Richardson is, according to sources, "brain dead and not expected to survive." In addition, the TONY publicist explains that their page is not loading due to heavy internet traffic.

Update 2: The NY Post is now also reporting the severity of Ms. Richardson's state.

• Miley Cyrus might make you want to puke: Hannah Montana Chocolate Granola Bars have been recalled due to suspected salmonella contamination. [Perez]

• Natasha Richardson suffered a serious head injury in a ski accident and has been hospitalized in Montreal. Husband Liam Neeson has rushed to her side. [People]
• Oh, no: Natasha Richardson is in critical condition. As you may know, she is the eldest daughter of Vanessa Redgrave; her sister Joely Richardson is also an actress, best known for Nip/Tuck. Natasha Richardson has been in A Month in the Country, Nell, The Parent Trap and Maid in Manhattan. [Yahoo News via AP]
• DJ AM is seeking $10 million in medical costs, lost earnings and damages, plus $10 million for mental and physical pain after the September plane crash in which he and Travis Barker were the only survivors. [People]
• Psychiatrist Khristine Eroshevich turned herself in to police Monday, facing charges of excessively prescribing drugs to Anna Nicole Smith. she's out on bail. [AP]
• Fox's Roger Friedman on Julia Roberts: "She was rude, downright nasty, and dismissive. She snubbed me in front of other people to make her point… Her behavior was unexpected and chilling." Apparently she knows Friedman as "the man who writes bad things about me." [Fox 411 ]
• Mickey Rourke is in a Russian prison… Doing research for his Iron Man role. [Daily Mail]
• If you didn't get a chance to audition for ANTM because of the stampede in NYC on Saturday, don't fret! Tyra says: "We are doing everything we can to make sure that ALL the girls who weren't seen get an opportunity to audition — we'll update you on our plans very soon." Sorta hoping they call it America's Next Top Model Who Can't Reach The Top Shelf. [US Magazine]
• Amy Winehouse is planning a "heart-to-heart" with estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil. Her dad says: "I want her to get divorced." Tell us how you really feel! [The Star]
• Amy Winehouse's dad also says: "Amy wants to resolve the situation. She's guilty of loving him, stupid girl." That's her own father, calling her stupid. [The Sun]
• Since Amy Winehouse has visa issues which ban her from coming to the U.S., she is headed back to the Caribbean. She'll headline the 18th Annual St. Lucia Jazz festival in May. The Minister of Tourism is thrilled and says "She's welcome to stay as long as she wants to." [Yahoo News via E!]
• But uh, Amy Winehouse is still facing an assault charge from back in September, so she needs to deal with that first. [Mirror]
• The Daily (Hate) Mail has printed pictures of Jesus Luz's ex-girlfriends and pointed out that they are "younger and prettier" than Madonna. Rude! [Daily Mail]
• By the by, Guy Ritchie had dinner with Elle Macpherson. [Daily Mail]
• Here is a photograph of Prince William helping out in a kitchen at a homeless charity, "following in his mother's footsteps." He looks genuinely happy. [Daily Mail]
• Clive Owen was asked who would win in a battle of wits: Himself or Julia Roberts? "She would, because she's very smart," he said. She agreed: "I would. It's just me," Julia said. "I have my tricks." [USA Today]
• There's a naked Lithuanian model on top of Zac Efron in the new Interview magazine, FYI. Zac and the young lady rolled around in dirt for the photo shoot and Zac says, without irony: "I got pretty dirty by the end of it, so that was fun. It was definitely different from anything I had ever done before." [Just Jared]
• Cops are going to interview Calum Best after a woman claims she was raped by his friend while he slept just a few feet away. [The Sun]
• Heath Ledger directed two music videos before his death; one for Modest Mouse and one for Grace Woodroofe. Both will be released this year. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Steve-O is the latest contestant to be injured on Dancing With The Stars. Does the show pay medical bills? [UPI]
• Portia de Rossi is still not pregnant, and not trying, despite what the weeklies are saying. [People]
• Sacha Baron Cohen tricked the Alabama National Guard into giving him a military uniform and letting him train — possibly for a scene for Bruno. A young cadet recognized him — maybe when he exposed his thong while changing — and alerted superiors. A staff sergeant is calling the incident an "embarrassment," but it sound like a security risk. [AP]
• Carson Daly's girlfriend Siri Pinter has given birth to their son, Jackson James Daly. [UPI]
• Guy Ritchie will direct a remake of The Wild Geese, "with a budget that will buy him some real star names." The original flick had Richard Burton, Richard Harris and Roger Moore; who will be the new trio? [Telegraph]
• Will Matt Damon be Jason Bourne again? Signs point to yes. [Guardian]
• Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber are both playing spies, but in different films. [Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt's film company, Plan B, is producing a flick based on John Le Carré's book The Night Manager. [Variety]
• Alex Rodriguez is seen kissing himself in a mirror in the new issue of Details. [NY Post]
• Jon Stewart's brother — who is head of US Markets & Global Technology at NYSE Euronext — helped him kick Jim Cramer's ass. [Page Six]
• No one is watching Kings or Celebrity Apprentice. [AdAge]
• Creators of Family Guy won a lawsuit which made it okay to turn the song "When You Wish Upon A Star into "I Need A Jew." [Reuters]
• It's tough to believe that villagers are living in fear of Pete Doherty moving to their town, but that is the headline here. [The Sun]
• There seem to be "two strapping young lads locking lips" on the cover of Bob Dylan's new album. This paper calls the photo "controversial." A commenter writes, "ha ha ha whats the issue?" [The Sun]
• Speaking of Bob Dylan, "Malibu residents say wind-borne odors from a portable toilet at the singer's compound are making them ill." [LA Times]
• Tons of Elvis stuff has gone up in an online auction — bids as low as ten bucks! [Reuters]
• "Tori is my daughter, and I love her. I wish her all the best with the publication of her new book… I never read her first one because my friends and family advised me against it. They said it would hurt my feelings, so I decided to pass. I won't read her new one either." — Candy Spelling, who moved the publication date of her book up two weeks so that it wouldn't hit stores on the same date as Tori's new book. [Us Magazine]
• "She's a little dictator. Definitely the most colorful person I've ever met. I feel so connected to her, but at the same time, we are completely different. I discover something new about her every day." — Salma Hayek, on her daughter, Valentina. [Mirror]
• "It's so sad that there's such an invasion of privacy, with camera people, cops and paparazzi outside their home. I mean, when have you not thrown something when you're mad? Everyone has to admit that at one time in their life, they've gotten so mad that they've thrown something, but maybe not necessarily breaking a window. Can't people have an argument without everyone watching? Just because she had an argument, I don't think it means that she's off track and that everything is crazy. It's really just messed up that everyone blames her. I think everyone needs to let her breathe." — Kim Kardashian on Lindsay Lohan. [People]

• Britney is so freaked out about her world tour, she's been having panic attacks. A source says:

"She has been telling her doctor she feels under pressure and ill when she thinks about touring." Is it possible she needs a break? [The Sun]

• Joaquin Phoenix swears his rap career is not a joke: "There's not a hoax. Might I be ridiculous? Might my career in music be laughable? Yeah, that's possible, but that's certainly not my intention." [USA Today]
• Angelina Jolie doesn't watch her own movies: "There’s a film or two I haven’t seen. I don’t really like to watch movies. I love to watch Brad’s movies though." We knew something was wrong with her. [The Sun]
• Oh, but Angelina does say that Oscar night: "I'm rooting for Brad." Plus, these are her priorities, in case you are wondering: "I'd say kids first, kids, woman to Brad and then my work internationally and being a kind of ... trying to educate myself and trying to learn about the world and ... trying to do some good things while I'm alive." Acting is like, fourth, or whatever. [People]
• Guess who isn't happy that Madonna has been parading around town with a 22-year-old Brazilian model? Alex Rodriguez. Apparently, a source spills, "Madonna likes to be in control." Do tell! So, yeah. Jesus Luz is more attentive and Madge was never committed to A-Rod anyways. [Gatecrasher]
• Jennifer Hudson's lip-sync-y prerecorded Super Bowl "Star Spangled Banner" is available for download on iTunes. [E!]
• Chris Martin and Coldplay: Viva la lawsuit, from Joe Satriani. [Fox 411]
• Prince threw a "rowdy" party with a dance bash where his band did '70s and '80s covers, and after his guests did a huge Electric Slide, His Purpleness quipped, "Y'all done tore up my carpet. I'm never inviting y'all back." [USA Today]
• Victoria Beckham is in talks to be a judge on popular UK show The X Factor. If David indeed becomes a fulltime player for AC Milan, the whole family will be moving back across the pond, sigh. [Daily Mail]
• Uh, this report says there is "no truth" to the rumor that Victoria will join X Factor. [The Sun]
• Ashton Kutcher wrote a long-ass MySpace blog entry in which he attempts to explain his Twitter obsession: "Our intention in becoming more active on the web has been with the effort to connect to the community in an effort to create a greater bond with the amazing fans that we have adopted over several years." [Perez]
• By the by, even though it was reported by the National Enquirer that Ashton and Demi Moore would adopt, Demi says, "Don't ever believe what you read there." But what about the John Edwards love child??? [UPI]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs didn't want the cops to search him before entering a party in New York where Kobe Bryant and a bunch of basketball stars were in attendance. What would they have found? [Page Six]
• Mickey Rourke and Sean Penn: Ironed out their differences? [Page Six]
• Celebs are feeling the recession: America Ferrera will only have one house; Eva Longoria wore the same outfit twice; Britney is driving a Mitsubishi. [MSNBC Scoop]
• The dude from the Kooks dumped Mischa Barton and she is "heartbroken," poor thing. [The Sun]
• Jude Law plays a transvestite supermodel named Minx in an upcoming movie called Rage, and from the looks of this picture, he's fairly comfortable in eyeliner and a wig. [Daily Mail]
• Julian Lennon and Sean Lennon will not, repeat, not perform together at a UN event in NYC on February 26. [Fox 411]
• The Speed-the-Plow crew cancelled a recent taping of Theater Talk when they learned the Jeremy Piven stuff would be brought up. The Voice's Michael Musto says: "Duh." [Village Voice]
• Leona Lewis on her autobiography: "I’m doing a picture book. A picture speaks a thousand words and I’m a big fan of photography." [The Sun]
• Girls Gone Wild mogul Joe Francis has been released from federal custody and is on home detention. But doesn't that mean he can watch DVDs of Girls Gone Wild? [Reuters]
• Congrats to model Angie Everhart, who is pregnant with her first child. Baby daddy is "very nice" but not her boyfriend or anything. "It's nobody you know," she says. [E!]
• Blind item! "Which A-list action star is trying to fool fans with his new face-lift?" [Gatecrasher]
• Mariah Carey Valentine's Day e-cards are delightfully tacky! [Pop Dirt]
• The chick who is Tina Turner's dance captain sounds totally awesome and kick-ass. [The Star]
• The Newlywed Game is coming back to TV and Carnie Wilson will be the host. Whether she will say "make whoopie" remains to be seen. [AP]
• Some reject on American Idol ripped into Simon Cowell, saying: "You need to get some wardrobe. For somebody to be so rich, your pants are very, very cheap, with that cheap, very lame shirt you've got on." The Brit press calls it a "cheeky rant." [Daily Mail]
• The dude from The City changed his name and got a record deal. [Page Six]
• "I am a dad. I think it's probably the worst thing any parent could face, the abduction of a child. It really is. Death is preferable. There's no question of that." — Liam Neeson, star of Taken. [Mirror]
• "I've never met anybody with a higher sex drive than me ever in my entire life." — Mel B. [The Sun]

• Kim Kardashian on Jessica Simpson's body: "Call me crazy, but when I saw the picture, I was like, 'Oh my God, Jessica looks hot!'" Kim continues:

"I love high-waisted jeans, I loved that belt, and her hair looked fabulous. I get that she does look curvier, but to me, there's nothing wrong it. When I saw that picture, I knew everyone was going to say something. And I thought, 'You know what? Leave Jessica alone!' She's fabulous, she's a really sweet girl, and I admire her for putting up with it." [People]

• Joaquin Phoenix's rap career: Not a hoax. Says his publicist. "He intends on exploring his musical interests despite speculative, negative or positive reactions." Sure, sure. [Mirror]
• Patrick Swayze has reportedly given up all medical treatment after doctors told him there was nothing more they could do for him. A source says: "The goal now is to keep Patrick comfortable… He's still losing weight and he's very weak." [Daily Mail]
• A stuntman who doubles for Daniel Radcliffe is paralyzed after suffering a serious injury on the set of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. [Daily Mail]
• Jake Gyllenhaal was "fidgety" at the courthouse in downtown L.A., where he was being considered as a potential juror. That's right: Jake might get jury duty! [E!]
• Michael Lohan is pleading for the public to "PLEASE HELP!!!" his daughter Lindsay: "I am asking everyone out there to intervene in every way possible to help Lindsay, and quite possibly, save her life,” he posted on his blog. "Help this wonderful, good hearted and gifted young lady to see what SaMANtha is doing to her and how she is destroying her life." [MSNBC]
• Meanwhile, Mark Ronson hung out with Lady GaGa in London last night. Ronson wore a black overcoat and skinny jeans; Ms. GaGa wore a rubber bra and skirt. [Daily Mail]
• Scarlett Johansson on her marriage to Ryan Reynolds: "I never had any preconceived notions of marriage or anything like that. I never really thought about it that much. My parents were divorced when I was 13, so I never had an idea of what a marriage should be, would be or could be. I was never in a hurry, I just figured someday I would get married, I guess. I am really in love with love. I’m a lover, not a fighter. I’m a real lov-vah." [Mirror]
• Thank GOB: The Arrested Development movie is on! [Gatecrasher]
• Brad Pitt wears that newsboy cap a lot. [NY Daily News]
• David Beckham loves it when his fellow AC Milan players pat his bottom: "I hadn’t even realised Clarence [Seedorf] had touched my backside but I’ll be happy if he does it again — because it will mean I’ve scored another goal. So he’s formally got my permission to touch it again." [The Sun]
• Miley Cyrus performed for Sasha and Malia Obama and seems blasé: "They were taking pictures like every other fan – they were really cool and appreciative of me being there. I really liked that." Yes, dear, it's all about what you like. [Perez]
• Mickey Rourke will not wrestle WWE superstar Chris Jerico at Wrestlemania, even though he said he would before the SAG awards. Apparently someone told him that acting is not being. [AP]
• Put a fork in Audrina and JustinBobby, because they are DONE: "I keep reading on blogs that I'm cheating on Justin, and we're not even together anymore!" Audrina told Us Weekly. "The last time I saw him was at The Hills finale in New York in December." [Perez]
• American Idol contestant Joanna Pacitti was in the 1996 cast of Annie, had a deal with A&M records, released an album and was on a reality show. So should she be on AI? Producer Ken Warwick says yes: "The question isn't 'have you ever had a deal' it’s 'do you have one now.' If the answer is no, then you can compete. If you were already a professional, you wouldn’t be auditioning, after all." [MSNBC]
• By the by: Paula Abdul stormed off the set of American Idol, saying: "Okay, I guess my opinion doesn't matter." A teenage contestant encouraged her to go back inside. [The Star]
• The fifth Twilight book was leaked online, and author Stephenie Meyer is "too sad about what happened" to continue writing the story. Shimmery vampire fans, insert your own "that bites" pun here. [Gatecrasher]
• Kelly Osbourne went back to rehab because her London lifestyle is "very bad for her," a source says. "It's a very party atmosphere there." Hmm, in rehab they will probably teach you not to blame the city! [People]
• Are Patricia Arquette and Thomas Jane reconciling? They filed for divorce last month, but are hosting a party together next week. Work it out! [E!]
• U2 had so much fun recording their album at Olympic Studios that they're thinking about buying the facility. [The Sun]
• Blind item! "Which cheesy reality star goes on $30K shopping sprees and returns all items the next day when she realizes she can’t actually afford them?" [Gatecrasher]
• Picture this: Liam Neeson as Abraham Lincoln, in a film project by Steven Spielberg. Epic, no? [Mirror]
• Kylie Minogue was at the Jean Paul Gaultier show in Pairs yesterday, talking about how she's going to jet to India do a musical number in a Bollywood film. [WWD]
• Does Kate Hudson look a wee sloppy on the cover of InStyle UK? [The Life Files]
• Ellen Barkin will star and executive produce an untitled HBO drama, her first TV series. Barkin's character is a woman "famous for her high-profile marriage who divorces and re-enters the singles market and finds herself developing a close, platonic bond with the 24-year-old son of her ex-husband." Please don't let it be called Cougar. [Variety]
• Joan Rivers has two new books: one is a plastic surgery tell-all called Men Are Stupid… And They Like Big Boobs and the other is a murder mystery titled Murder At the Academy Awards. What do they have in common? Rivers says "101%" of the people who walk the red carpets of Hollywood have had work done. [USA Today]
• John Cleese is no longer returning text messages from his 27-yet-45 year old girlfriend Barbie Orr. It's over! [Daily Mail]
• What the world needs now: A Marie Osmond talk show. [Mediaweek]
• Julian Lennon and Sean Lennon, whose families feuded in the past, will perform together in public at a United Nations event. Come together, right now… [Fox 411]
• Everyone in the small Swiss town of Kallnach knows Marilyn Manson, absinthe connoisseur, because they manufacture his "Mansinthe" there. [IHT]
• Random people on the street have been yelling at this Prince Harry lookalike ever since Prince Harry's breakup, making the lookalike's life a living hell. Gingers never get a break. [The Sun]
• The lookalike is in hiding, btw. [Telegraph]
• If you are interested in T.I.'s pubes, by all means, click the link at the end of this sentence. [The Life Files]
• "Now guys are really nice when they’re breaking up with me because they don’t want to end up on a song." — Lily Allen. [The Sun]
• "We always thought we were doing something different, first of all, in having a show about a girl, because that wasn't happening at the time. You were usually the bimbo or the nerd, those were your main choices in the early '90s. So what we tried to do was create a show about a girl who was neither, and who was both. She was popular at school, and she was hip, but she was also bright, and she had other interests. We tried to create an experience that was common to a lot of girls, which is that you're both of those things at once, and that was huge for a lot of people. And we weren't doing Shakespeare, but we were absolutely dealing with issues that other shows were not." — Mayim Bialik on Blossom, which is finally being released on DVD. [Onion AV Club]
• "The only reason I have lost weight is because I comfort eat when I'm not very happy. The last two years, even though I had a lot of success with my first record, I was … getting so drunk. I was on tour with people I didn't know, and I was all around the world working really hard and was really confused and lonely." — Lily Allen, to The Sun. [People]
• I don’t feel sexy, not right now. I think there is kind of an ingenue thing that women play when they are in their 20s. They are sort of these whimsical, sort of transient characters, and it’s like that in life. Women in their 30s, and actors in their 30s, suddenly take on far meatier roles. They are playing mothers and wives and women who have been through a life – before the place that they are at that moment. And I look forward to that time when I’ll be able to have more of a life that I have experienced to put into the roles." — Scarlett Johansson. [Mirror]
• "My industry is magazine publishing. Pornography? That isn't my industry. If you call sexual images pornography, then they are negative. If you call those same images erotic, they are positive. I'm not an active feminist. I'm an active humanist. I separated ways from feminism when it became antisexual. I believe embracing sexuality is part of what it means to be free." — Hugh Hefner. [Time]
• "It seems to the outside world that I've always had a job but I have not. Every four months when a film finishes there's a big chasm all the time and you're trying to figure out what will come next. Sometimes there are interesting projects that come around that I put a lot of energy into and sometimes I don't. My mother would always say to me 'How can you live like this? How can you not know next year what you're doing?' I think that's part of what makes actors able to destabilize themselves to a point where they can take on another persona because they always imploding." — Meryl Streep. [Mirror]

• Something happened at Kate Moss's 35th birthday party that involved a man being strapped to a stretcher and taken away and two skeletons having sex on the floor. Good luck figuring that out. [TMZ]

• There may be another Paris Hilton sex tape, and in this one she is supposedly “seen in a state of arousal in a New York taxi.” [The Sun]
• For once, the paparazzi have done a good deed. Jennifer Aniston's corgi-terrier got loose this weekend and almost got hit by a car. There is video of the paparazzi leading the dog back to her house. [TMZ]
• But the paparazzi were up to their usual shenanigans when the followed Julia Roberts all over town while she was out with her kids. In this video, Julia Roberts gets out of her car and screams at the guy photographing her to "get the f*** away" from her, but he doesn't stop filming. [Perez Hilton]
• Was will.i.am silenced by the CIA?! While performing at the "We Are One" concert yesterday, he ad libbed a bit of the Black Eyed Peas song "Where Is The Love." But instead of singing the lyric, "Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism. But we still got terrorists here livin' In the USA, the big CIA The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK," he sang, "Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism But we still got terrorists here livin'. In the USA, ... no education and we got that racial hate." It's a conspiracy! [Politico]
• Barack had a "top secret" dinner with Oprah at Blair House on Sunday night ... and about 100 other guests. [Entertainment Tonight]
• U2's first new single in five years, "Get Your Boots On" is being broadcast on Irish radio and the band's website starting today. [TMZ]
• In real life, Robin Williams wouldn't be any good at mentoring Matt Damon. "I'm not wise at all in real life," said Williams, "I'm desperately naive most of the time." [The Mirror]
• Snoop Dogg is banned from the UK and he says he's trying to get David Beckham, Paul McCartney, Madonna and John Lennon to help him get back in. [TMZ]
• A reporter tried to ask Jessica Alba about Obama in the lobby of her hotel. She whipped out a camera and started interviewing the reporter herself. When he wouldn't say what he though Obama's best characteristic is, she urged him, "Be neutral! Be Sweden about it." [Politico]
• Kelly Osbourne was arrested because she slapped gossip columnist Zoe Griffin in a London nightclub last summer after Griffin wrote a column calling her fiance stupid. She is out on bail. [The Daily Mail]
• In this interview, Christopher Walken interviews Mickey Rourke, and the weird part is that Rourke wasn't wearing pants. [ONTD]
• In new promotional images for Hard Candy Madonna is pictured with her breast bound, wearing thigh-high bondage boots, white fishnets, and a g-string, but it still seems like standard Madonna garb. Is it possible for her to do anything shocking anymore? [Daily Express]
• Producers of The Beast say they are hoping Patrick Swayze will be healthy enough to come back for a second season. [UPI]
• In this video, Akon falls on stage during a performance, which may be funny, depending on your feelings on Akon. [Perez Hilton]
• Is MTV not paying Lo Bosworth? She now has real job writing about L.A. hotspots for the website Pocket Change. [E!]
• Lifetime is picking up the show Drop Dead Diva about a shallow model-in-training who dies in an accident only to find her soul resurfacing in the body of a brilliant, thoughtful and plus-size attorney, played by newcomer Brooke Elliott. Margaret Cho plays her assistant. We can't tell if the new Lifetime is going to be awesome or mildly frightening. [UPI]
• Everyone wanted tickets to today's Oprah show, and 2,000 tickets were issued, half for VIPs, and half through a lottery. BUT, the Kennedy Center didn't hold as many people as they though and some non-VIP ticket holders had to go on standby. [MSNBC]
• After singing at the Super Bowl, Jennifer Hudson's next performance will be at the Grammys. She's been nominated four times. [Perez Hilton]
• Steven Speilberg asked Liam Neeson to star in a film about Abraham Lincoln years ago, and Neeson said yes. Neeson says it's still in development, and he's been reading about the president to prepare. Has Obamania given way to Lincoln-mania?[UPI]
• Liam Neeson has come out in support of the horse drawn carriage industry in New York's Central Park. Animal rights activists want to ban the carriages, but Neeson wrote a letter to City Council saying, "The horse-drawn carriage business is an iconic part of this city, employing hundreds of dedicated, hard-working men and women, caring for well-bred, well-trained horses and attracting tourists to New York City for over 100 years." Alec Baldwin wants the carriages banned. Could we see a Neeson-Baldwin showdown? [Gothamist]
• Lily Allen has take a mature step in her feud with Katy Perry (who called her fat), and rather than fighting with her via Facebook, she's now given this TV interview in which she impersonates Perry with an American accent. [Perez Hilton]
• It was one of those days that you experience and you say, "Wow." This is an experience you will never forget. It's almost like when you walk for the first time, you go to school for the first time, or you read a book for the first time. You experience working for something that becomes a reality as a King holiday." - Stevie Wonder, on performing for Barack Obama at the pre-inauguration concert. [CNN]
• "He's just one of those guys, you know, like Will Smith. There's no Will Smith jokes. There's no Brad Pitt jokes. You know, what are you going to say? "Ooh, you used to have sex with Jennifer Anniston. Now you have sex with Angelina Jolie. You're such a loser." What do you say? "Ooh, your movies are big. You make $20 million." There's nothing to say about Brad Pitt ... It's like "Ooh, you're young and virile and you've got a beautiful wife and kids. You're the first African-American president." You know, what do you say? - Chris Rock on why he can't make fun of Barack Obama. [CNN]

[New York, December 17. Image via INF]

[London, September 24. Image via Flynet]

[Dublin, Ireland; January 23. Image via Bauer-Griffin]