Bindel says the 1981 booklet Love Your Enemy? The Debate Between Heterosexual Feminism and Political Lesbianism, which states that "all feminists can and should be lesbians," jibed with her early experiences growing up in England. She writes,

I was surrounded by men - my father and two brothers - and at an early age I had picked up on the stories of domestic violence, child abuse and general unhappiness that seemed to emanate from neighbouring households. I was also struck by the drudgery on display. While men were out drinking, embarking on fishing trips and generally enjoying their freedom, women were stuck cooking for them, cleaning for them, and running around after children. For women, heterosexuality seemed a total con.

For Bindel, "lesbianism is intrinsically bound up with my feminist politics and my campaigning against sexual violence," and she believes the same can be true for other feminists. "Political lesbianism continues to make intrinsic sense because it reinforces the idea that sexuality is a choice," she writes. "I also suspect that it is very difficult to spend your daily life fighting against male violence, only to share a bed with a man come the evening."

It's good to think of homosexuality as something that can be joyful and empowering, rather than some sort of congenital disease. But Bindel's view does a disservice to people who don't feel they chose their sexual orientations, and especially to people who have been fighting for equal rights partially on that basis. It also assumes that men are the enemy, and that women can achieve happiness and political self-actualization only by living apart from them.

A modified version of this principle governs the lesbian communities — known as womyn's lands — profiled in Sunday's Times [the pic above is from the womyn's land of Alapine]. Women came to these communities in the '70s, when lesbianism was much less accepted; for many they were a refuge from discrimination. Now the womyn's lands provide residents with a feeling of safety and a close-knit group of likeminded women, both of which are awesome. But one resident says, "Men are violent." Another adds: "Women, when they're together, tend to be more cooperative. They don't look for one to succeed and all the others to fail."

Men are undoubtedly violent — but so are women. And it's not always true that women "don't look for one to succeed and all the others to fail." An all-female community can be a great choice for some women — and sex with women can be a choice for some too. But to say that it's the only valid choice for every feminist doesn't just demonize men and glorify women. It also tells consenting adults what to do with their bodies, which is something both feminists and gay rights activists have long fought against. There are a lot of wonderful things my generation can take from second-wave feminism — mandatory lesbianism just isn't one of them.

My sexual revolution [Guardian]
My Sister’s Keeper [NYT]

So, Katherine realized a couple of years ago that she was a lesbian, came to grips with it, and told both her parents at once because she didn't want them to think she liked one of them more than the other. She still remembers the day because, like a lot of my gay friends, she approached the disclosure about her sexuality with a degree of trepidation despite being the daughter of one of the politicians responsible for defeating an anti gay marriage amendment to Massachusetts' constitution. This is what she said about watching him speak on that day:

"Because, of course, he didn't know that I was gay then," the 18-year-old recalls. "So, for someone so publicly to fight for something that doesn't even affect him was just like, 'That’s my dad,' you know?" she says with a laugh. "That’s all I could think. I was very, very proud to be part of this family, and this state in general."

"It was great. I'm very glad," she adds, looking at her father. "Don't cry, Dad." Patrick's eyes are brimming with tears, prompting some good-natured teasing from his daughter. "He's done some good things," she says with a laugh, patting his arm. "I appreciate it. Want a tissue? Oh, God. He's a crier."

Shit, I think I might be a crier, too.

Neither of her parents initiated the interview with the paper, though they agreed to it because their daughter asked them to do it and they thought it was a good decision to, as a public family, make this aspect of their lives public on their terms, rather than the terms of a newspaper like the Boston Herald. Said Deval and his wife Diane:

And while Katherine is comfortable with her very public coming out, her parents remain wary. Patrick's misgivings stem partly from the fact that his daughter wouldn't do an interview to announce that she is straight. "But the world is such and my job is such that rather than have someone do a 'gotcha' and our giving the misimpression that this wasn't completely natural in our family, then we thought, 'Alright, let's just say it and move on,'" he says.

Diane's concerns stem from a mother's instinct to protect her daughter and her desire to keep both of her daughters "from the burdens of public life." It's why she doesn't see herself becoming the proverbial PFLAG parent and advocating publicly for LGBT issues. "This issue involves one of my children and I have really wanted them to not have to feel, frankly, answerable to the public and I still don't want it," Diane explains. "As a mother my instinct is to protect my children from discomfort and so that would be the reason why I would not relish [an advocacy] role, because it would be about her."

In that aspect, she's totally right. Who among us straight Jezebels had to announce our sexual preference to our parents? Who had to even discuss it, unless you got caught doing something? The only conversation I ever had about my sexual proclivities with my parents at that age was one in which my mother demanded my father ascertain from me which of my dude friends I was fucking (she was sure it was at least 3 of them), a conversation that ended up with me yelling at him that I was offended that they thought I was such a slut and we never talked about it again. For the record, Dad (since I know you're reading), I was sleeping with Dennis. Sorry. But it wasn't any of your business, anyway.

Anyway, so Katherine has way more courage and honesty than I did at her age, and her parents are way more accepting of her homosexuality than my parents were of my slutty heterosexuality at that age and the whole thing sort of made me tear up because you just know for every lucky Katherine Patrick there's at least one unlucky Maya Marcel-Keyes, whose father, politician Alan Keyes, kicked her out of his house, stopped speaking to her and stopped contributing to her education when she came out.

With Love And Pride, Governor Deval Patrick's Daughter Comes Out Publicly [Bay Windows, picture courtesy of Marilyn Humphries]
Alan Keyes' Daughter Coming Out [CBS News]