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Mail-Order Bride Finds Love; Hopefully No Others Read This
New York, 5:41 PM
Mon Dec 14
51 posts in the last 24 hours
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Mail-Order Bride Finds Love; Hopefully No Others Read This |
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06/16/09
Really? 'Somewhere online'? Didn't want a stereotypical 'submissive foreign woman'? Certainly odd steps to take...
06/15/09
06/15/09
Is it the same for older women and younger men? Is it always the older person who has the "power"?
Shall I regale you with stories of Mail order brides who start divorce proceeding at exactly after having their green card for 3 years, and sometimes earlier claiming abuse that is just not there?
I'm not sure if you have heard of this, but I have heard that a lot of women prefer the company of wealthy succesful men. You seem to be labeling them all as johns?
06/15/09
Bringing into this women who like successful men is a bit of a red herring, Lera admits she wanted to get the hell out of the Ukraine, a successful man wasn't a big requirement.
If you want to talk about mail order brides who use their husbands for a green card, you also have to talk about husbands who intentionally import poor wives so they can run roughshod over them, but I notice you left that out.
06/16/09
06/15/09
They were married in India and then came to the States a couple of years ago. To me, it seems that she came to States and discovered a whole new kind of life.
She talks about her 2 year old daughter like she's a pet (I'm not joking). She doesn't mind staying hours late or coming in on weekends. She doesn't want to be a wife and mother.
Her husband is a perfectly pleasant man, but, still..
06/15/09
You have to visit places around the world to realize what we have here. In many, many cultures, to get to the U.S., to have your own home and back yard, and car and the ability to travel without anyone questioning you, is worth trading yourself.
06/15/09
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06/15/09
I'm glad it worked out for her, but for every Lera Loeb, there are many, many more women who become domestic or sex slaves. It is important that we don't glamorize or dismiss this story, as it so easily could have worked out differently for her:
06/15/09
Seems a propos.
06/15/09
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06/15/09
Maybe it's because I'm older and lived in L.A. where many men I know will not date women even 10 years younger, they want 20 years younger. I know a few who married their assistants.
I few years back I was at a dinner party where my friend's boyfriend at the time, a much older man, bragged about going to Brazil to pick up women. They were beautiful and poor he said, easy pickins.
The was a movie written and directed by Audrey Wells where Jean Smart's character broke it down. Her daughter was dating Stephen Rea, a man who would only date women much younger. She basically said he knew a woman around his age would call him on his shit but the younger women looked at him with awe.
Would Lera still be with her husband if he was poor? Would he still be with her if she wasn't 23 years younger and desperate to get out of Eastern Europe?
I'm glad their situation is lovely and worked out well but human trafficking is a major problem.
06/16/09
06/15/09
Maybe I'm missing something here - I do feel sadness that so many women have to resort to this type of thing to escape poverty in their own countries, but arranged marriages have gone on in many societies since the dawn of time. At least she made her own choices in this instance.
06/15/09
I know I should email Sadie, but I keep seeing this in comments too, so I thought I'd make a public service announcement.
06/15/09
06/15/09
But yeah, I think this phrase is usually misused because it sounds like ideal. I could maybe see using it if they lived a simple, blissful life on a farm. But there's little idyllic about NYC living.
06/15/09
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06/16/09
06/15/09
He didn't say this. He said something about the prospect of marrying a foreigner from an online match making service but the entire article didn't have the age based flags that comment seem to indicate. He does talk about the age difference but it seems like something mentioned after they met. Basically, he doesn't seem like someone who was looking for a much younger foreign wife but rather someone who was looking for a wife.
I wonder if the questions are more driven by our own questions about these match making services and less by the particular experiences of these two people.
06/15/09
I think that is the driver.
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