• A photo has surfaced of Jessica Simpson out with Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins on Friday night. A source says they're "officially dating... she has fallen hard and is smitten."

• Another source says her posse isn't excited about her latest beau. "He's just another in an endless string of Jessica's boyfriends," says the source. "They think he's too old for her. No one takes any of her boyfriends seriously anymore because she has had so many. They're sick of all of them being 'the one.'" [E!]
• Elin Nordegren's mother, Barbro Holmberg, was identified as the woman rushed to the hospital from Tiger Woods' home this morning. She's at home now, resting comfortably. [Extra]
• TMZ obtained the dispatch notes from the 911 call from Tiger Woods' home today, which contain nothing interesting. [TMZ]
• According to a source at the hospital, Barbro Holmberg was suffering from stomach pains. [TNZ]
• Gatorade is shutting down production of Tiger Woods Focus Gatorade, but a rep insists, "We made the decision several months ago... our relationship with Tiger continues." [TMZ]
• Star claims Elin Nordegren confronted Tiger Woods' mistress Rachel Uchitel twice before Thanksgiving. A friend of Rachel's says, "Rachel denied she had an affair with Tiger, and told her, ‘I've walked your husband to a table at [a NYC night club] Griffin, made sure everything was OK, and that's the extent of our relationship. It's ridiculous and crazy that people are saying that I slept with him.'" The second time she told Rachel, "I know everything," then threw her cell phone at Tiger. [Star]
• According to the dispatch log from Tiger Woods' SUV crash, Tiger's agent called the Florida Highway Patrol on the day after the accident to reschedule a meeting because, "He's still too sore from the accident." [TMZ]
• Dennis Rodman weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal saying, "I think people expect me to do it, you know, it's just Dennis. But Tiger, that's a different story... People expect him to be this loving husband and this loving father, and this, you know, when you have that much money and that much power, of course all the hoodrats and everybody is just gonna come all out of the woodwork." [Ok]
• This article blames Alexa Ray Joel's alleged suicide attempt on her mother, Christie Brinkley. She had just come back from vacation with her mom and a source claims, "They have knock-down, drag-out fights regularly over issues relating to Billy Joel." A former family employee adds, "She would tell Alexa that her father was an alcoholic and that she had her father's genes and that she might be an alcoholic, too." [NY Post]
• Showbiz 411 insists that the Post story isn't true and points to an upbeat postcard from Turks and Caicos as proof that "Alexa had a great family holiday." Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley's ex-husband, may be the source of the negative stories. [Showbiz 411]
• Sources say Mickey Rourke will marry his 24-year-old Russian girlfriend Elena Kuletskaya in April. "They haven't booked a venue or made any solid plans. He just knows he wants to do it in April, and he's been asking what is involved in a traditional Russian wedding ceremony," says a source. [Daily Express]
• Though Elton John and his partner David Furnish are not allowed to adopt an HIV-positive Ukrainian toddler because the country does not recognize gay unions, they are working to make sure the boy and his brother "have the best health care, education and family options available to them." [AP]
• Madonna said she wound up giving her daughter Lourdes a bigger role in her "Celebration" music video because, "She's been doing rhythmic gymnastics for years and she's very flexible, she's a great dancer... it was one of those fluke things. We didn't intend for her to be in the video. We did intend for her to be in the part where she dresses up for the costumes, that we planned, but the other one where she was just dancing with the dancers... she's very friendly with the dancers and they kind of dragged her into it and you know, it was just a small little piece. It's great, she's a show girl." [Daily Express]
• Madonna says she doesn't know if her kids would rather have a "normal life," and "Anyways they don't have a choice, they're stuck with the mother they have and I think they realise there are pluses and minuses to it. I think sometimes they'd like to walk down the street and just feel like normal kids and that happens, and other times, you know, they get great bonuses and perks out of being my children and they know it and they're very grateful and appreciative for it." [Daily Express]
• Kate Gosselin says her kids are distraught over not being on TV anymore. Kate says: "They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day. I finally admitted to them, they kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.' And I said, 'Our show is over.' ...Eight sobbing kids driving home from school." [Us]
• Kate Gosselin spent more than three hours serving food at a Raleigh, North Carolina restaurant as cameras filmed her. Her bodyguard Steve Neild told reporters to leave and said she was shooting a test segment for a future program. [WRAL]
• Pauly Shore is suing his brother and accusing him of elder abuse. Pauly claims their mother has been "rendered susceptible to unscrupulous behavior and other undue influence because of her condition," and says his brother improperly removed him from the board of directors as The Comedy Store in Hollywood. [Radar Online]
• Bryant Gumbel has lung cancer and had a malignant tumor removed from his chest last month. "We had told a few people, we told my family, obviously. I even kept it from my staff at Real Sports. So I'm okay for the time being," he said. "I'm hoping they greenlight me to play golf again." [People]
• Though former Geffen Records executive John Kalodner says Lenny Kravitz should take over for Steven Tyler in Aerosmith. Kravitz says, "As much as I am flattered that Aerosmith's camp would consider me to front the band, Steven Tyler is a family friend, and no voice could ever take the place of his. I hope the band stays together. They are classic." [Daily Express]
• David Guest just realized taking Michael Jackson's advice about cosmetic surgery was a bad idea. "I had surgery when I was very young and it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Michael Jackson kept saying, 'You should have plastic surgery.' I got my nose done and he said, 'Do more, do more!' It was stupid," he said. "If I had my way, I'd go back to my original big nose with a bit of a hook in it. It looked great." [Daily Express]
• Ryan O'Neal has been visiting Redmond O'Neal every week in rehab. "Redmond and Ryan are working on their relationship. Both of them are working towards a positive and healthy father and son relationship," says a source. [Radar Online]
• In the 911 call David Hasselhoff's daughter Hayley made on Thanksgiving weekend she says: "My dad just ... he's collapsed. He's standing up but he keeps falling back down ... But then he got back up and he's fine. It's kind of scaring me." [People]
• Nicole Kidman says she likes to focus on her health rather than how much she weighs. "As Keith's a musician there are pitstops at Wendy's" she says, "But I'm six-foot tall, so it's not weight that's an issue for me, but things like cholesterol." [People]
• In the 911 call made when Brittany Murphy's husband Simon Monjack was taken to the hospital from LAX last month, the caller says he "stopped breathing" but they "revived him." [TMZ]
• Bob Geldof attacked the U.K. family court for conducting "state-sanctioned kidnap" by holding closed custody hearings, adding: "In the near future the family law under which we endure will be seen as barbaric, criminally damaging, abusive, neglectful; harmful to society, the family, the parents and the children in whose name it purports to act." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand says it was easy for him to win over Katy Perry's parents because, ''They love the old school Englishness. There's a thing where the mom said 'Nothing's impossible', and I went, 'well, of course, Nelson Mandela said that everything is impossible until it's done', and she went, 'Oh', and she really enjoyed that... Obviously when I heard that my girlfriend had preacher parents, I thought, 'well, this has got a huge scope for disaster' but it's actually been quite good so far." [The Telegraph]
• Justin Bobby, Speidi, Kristin Cavallari, and Audrina Patridge will be back for The Hills sixth season according to an MTV spokesperson. [People]
• Mel Gibson's estranged wife Robyn Gibson has filed court papers requesting to see copies of his Directors Guild and Screen Actors Guild health and pension plans. [Radar Online]
• Travis Barker has settled his lawsuit against defendants over the plane crash he was injured in. [TMZ]
• Celine Dion says she's going to keep trying IVF even though it turned out she wasn't pregnant this summer. "We have a wonderful child, we're extremely happy," she said. "It's not like, 'Oh my god, she's not pregnant and she's depressed,' " she continues. "You know how it works. We are great. We hope for the best, we hope to get pregnant. If it happens, it happens." [People]
• Shakira says she owes her success to her parents taking her to the park to show her kids worse off than her on the day they declared bankruptcy. "That day I made myself a promise," she said. "I promised that I would someday succeed to vindicate my parents' social and economic position. But I also wanted to do something about those kids I saw so abandoned by the state, abandoned to their own luck, without any chances to change their destinies." [CNN]
• When asked how she got into character as the grandmother of a dead girl in The Lovely Bones, Susan Sarandon said, "I drank and smoked and partied down. No, I didn't do that. I think I probably had the easiest job of anyone, because I was going against all the really difficult feelings and trying to keep everybody moving forward and remembering to live and letting the light in, literally. Plus, I was always drinking and smoking, so I have lots of props - so it was actually pretty fun." [NY Magazine]
• Sigourney Weaver says of her new film Avatar, "You won't have seen anything like it. This film is going to change the way we look at movies. The whole movie is in 3-D, even normal scenes between two people. So you feel you're in the room with these characters. You're always in the best seat in the house." [The Telegraph]
• Of being called the "Bear Jew" in Inglourious Basterds, Eli Roth says, "Well it's funny because I've always been compared to some sort of animal. On Cabin Fever they called me hair director. On Hostel one of the Czech extras saw me in a tank top and casually referred to me as Gorilka" which is Slovak for gorilla. So from that point on, it was over. Everyone was always, "Where's Gorilka? We need Gorilka on set! There was a girl who nicknamed me wolfie, so I've always been compared to some sort of furry animal. So I just embraced it — and Bear Jew felt like the natural evolution." [N.Y. Post]
• Viggo Mortensen makes a good point about why we shouldn't underestimate Sarah Palin: "I think it would be unwise to dismiss her because she is foolish and misinformed. People say there's no way she will hold any significant office, in Congress, or as president. Don't be so sure. I notice she's starting to sound relatively eloquent in that superficial way she has: ‘We gotta cut taxes and we can't keep penalizing small business'-that same old litany. She's not saying anything significant but she's stringing the words together and she's not just saying, ‘Aw shucks, I just killed a moose in Alaska.' She's stringing the words together as well as George W. Bush did in the beginning... They realized they couldn't make [Bush] sound like somebody who actually read books and cared about how he sounded-even though he had the benefits of the best possible education. It just wasn't interesting to him to sound like he made sense and to speak English anywhere near well. But what they did, very cleverly, is say, OK, he's just like us. He makes mistakes when he says stuff; he's a regular guy. And I can see the same thing happening with Palin. So do not underestimate her ability. She's not going away." [The Daily Beast]

• Michael Lohan says he knows who Lindsay's drug dealer is:

"This guy follows Lindsay all over the place. All over," Papa Lohan claims. "Lindsay pays for him to go everywhere. He has no job. No job. He does nothing. All he does is supply everyone in LA." [NY Post]

• The producers of Sex And The CIty 2 are pulling out all the stops: Penelope Cruz, Miley Cyrus and Liza Minnelli are all confirmed to do cameo appearances. It seems like each will play herself. [Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are in a "bitter pre-nup battle." Does this mean the honeymoon is over? [Radar Online]
• CBS is investigating the Letterman scandal and may air something on CBS News: A source says: "From having talked to some friends there, who are pretty highly placed, they really want to hit this story hard, like any other journalistic story." [NY Observer]
• According to a document dug up by TMZ, David Letterman's production company, Worldwide Pants, has a sexual harassment policy, but it does not prohibit sexual liaisons in the office, provided they're not "unsolicited and unwelcome." [TMZ]
• Will Michael Jackson's kids be included in an upcoming reality show about The Jackson family? Janet Jackson is okay with it, but Rebbie Jackson "feels Michael would spin in his grave if he knew his kids would be on the show." [NY Post
• Mel B. says there's a Spice Girls comeback in the works: "We're actually working on it right now. I don't want to say too much because I don't want to spoil the surprise, but it's really, really exciting. I can't wait to be singing with the girls again." [The Sun]
• Pamela Anderson's latest fashion accessory is a nine-year-old girl. [Page Six]
• Roman Polanski is continuing to fight extradition. [NY Times]
• And Roman Polanski is working on a film, The Ghost, — which stars Pierce Brosnan — from his prison cell. It should be out in February. [Telegraph]
• Even though Jon Gosselin told Larry King "it's not healthy for my kids to be on the show," he doesn't seem to mind if cameras film his twins' birthday party, [MSNBC Scoop]
• When Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelly adopted their daughter Naleigh, they mentioned that she had special needs. Now Kelly reveals: "She had two holes in her heart when she was born, so she had open-heart surgery when she was 3 months old." But, he adds: "Naleigh's definitely getting stronger, so much so that she's crawling and starting to pull herself up." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Courtney Love owes $324,335.21 in back taxes. [TMZ]
• Tracy Morgan slams Chris Kattan and Cheri Oteri in his new book. [Gatecrasher, Gawker]
• Unsolicited uterus update: Padma Lakshmi's pregnancy is being called a "miracle" since she had undergone two surgeries or endometriosis. Also , the father is not frequent companion Manu Nathan, who she says is "a cousin and dear friend." [People]
• Your WTF headline of the day: "Drugs, Feces and the Final Days of Anna Nicole Smith." [E!]
• "Anna Nicole Smith's last days: too weak to walk or sit up… The model drifted in and out of consciousness and could drink only from a baby bottle." [LA Times]
• BREAKING: Ed Westwick and Chace Crawford played ping-pong at Susan Sarandon's table tennis joint, SPiN. [Gatecrasher]
• Harry Connick Jr. on that blackface skit in Australia: "I'm pleased with the way I handled the situation." He canceled an autograph session and interviews in Sydney after the show. "It was very hot. It was a subject that was very, very controversial. So we just decided to take a couple of days off. I wasn't worried about physical harm." [AP]
• Click for a pic of Jason Lewis in bed. It's a campaign for Charisma linens. [Gatecrasher]
• Another woman is suing Dr. Phil, claiming she, too, was forced to be in the same room with a naked man.That's two now — three's a trend! [TMZ]
• Zach Braff is alive, despite what you might have seen on Facebook. [Gatecrasher]
• With roles in Glee and Julie & Julia, after being hilarious in Best In Show and A Mighty Wind, "Jane Lynch is having a very big year." [LA Times]
• Robert De Niro's swanky penthouse on top of his TriBeCa hotel is bigger than the Landmark Preservation Committee had originally approved and therefore illegal. When questioned about his apartment, De Niro said, "Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? [Gothamist]
• Pete Wentz is supporting the clean water initiative but will not climb Mount Kilimanjaro like Jessica Biel. He jokes: "I really won't do anything but Everest, because it's the highest." And he says wife Ashlee probably won't, either: "Knowing her, she'd want to do it in Gucci high heels." [Gatecrasher]
• Chris Pine — aka James T. Kirk in Star Trek — is in negotiations to play Jack Ryan in new flicks based on the Tom Clancy novels. [Variety]
• Matthew Perry's new TV show, which NBC was trying to snap up, will end up at ABC instead. [Deadline Hollywood]
• Justin "I'm A Mac" Long joins James McAvoy and Robin Wright Penn in The Conspirator, a historical drama about Confederate sympathizer tried for the Lincoln assasination, directed by Robert Redford. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Lenny Kravitz drinks vodka on stage. [Page Six]
• Um, the Backstreet Boys are still together? And have a new album? Howie D. explains in this interview. [Reuters]
• Unbreak your heart: Toni Braxton has defaulted on mortgage payments and Bank of America is on the verge of foreclosing on her place. [TMZ]
• Jeffrey Tambor (aka George Bluth Sr.) and his wife welcomed twin boys on October 4. [E!]
• Robin Givens: Working on a book and a movie about the first African saint. [Page Six]
• "He's a lot more tender and sweeter than you would ever guess from the show. If I were in trouble he'd be top of my list of people to call, believe it or not - and you'd never guess that from seeing the show, but that's the truth." — Mary Steenburgen on Curb Your Enthusiasm's Larry David. [Mirror]
• "Well, when the doctor said I was pregnant, I heard a voice saying, 'That's the man you're going to marry.' The voice was my mother's." — Marge Simpson, to Playboy. [Page Six]
• "It's not the big, dramatic change that people are making it out to be. [But] she finally gets her braces off!" — America Ferrera on her Ugly Betty transformation. [Gatecrasher]
• "I can't say anything very concrete… I'm facing the possibility to make my first movie in English next year if everything goes well." — Pedro Almodovar. [NY Observer]
• "He made himself, by himself. John and I never wanted to push him into music, so I was prepared that he might become an archaeologist or something. John didn't even want to tell him that he was a Beatle. Sean found out from someone else. One day, he even asked John, 'Were you a Beatle?' But he was always there when I recorded something. I think it started when John and I did Double Fantasy, and John would say that Sean should come. After John's passing, Sean was always there at my recordings. And he experienced it-he remembers that I used this instrument or that instrument. Later, when Sean was in his twenties, I found out that he knew all of the Beatles' songs, all of John's songs and all of my songs-every lyric." — Yoko Ono. [BlackBook]
• "I'm attracted to younger men, no doubt. Yeah, they're cute. I'm like one of the original cougars." — Courteney Cox. [USA Today]
• "Everyone knows you don't date Russell Brand seriously. Russell likes the idea of having a se rious relationship, but when you've got all these different flavors of ice cream offered to you on a plate, you're not going to stick with vanilla, are you? I don't think he's capable of monogamy." — Russell Brand's ex-girlfriend, Georgina Baillie, who thinks Katy Perry will have her heart broken. But what if Katy likes variety too?!?! [NY Post]

• Heidi Klum is changing her name to Heidi Samuel! Did you know that her husband's real name is Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adelo Samuel? Short and sweet. [TMZ]

• Last night, David Letterman apologized to female staffers and his wife, saying: "She's been horribly hurt by my behavior. If you hurt a person and it's your responsibility, you try to fix it. At that point, there's only two things that can happen. Either you make some progress and get it fixed, or you're going to fall short and perhaps not get it fixed… Let me tell you folks, I've got my work cut out for me." [NY Daily News]
• David Letterman may have violated CBS rules about supervisor/subordinate relationships. But. David Letterman doesn't work for CBS; he works for Worldwide Pants, his production company. WWP says, "We have a written policy in our employee manual that covers harassment. It is circulated to every employee every year. Dave is not in violation of our policy and no one has ever raised a complaint against him." [TMZ]
• Former Late Show staffer Stephanie Birkitt's diary reveals that she continued having sex with David Letterman even after moving in with her CBS-producer boyfriend. Birkitt told her boyfriend that the relationship was platonic and that she was "just his best friend." [NY Post]
• Craig Ferguson defended David Letterman last night: "The person you work for, the person you admire and respect, is caught in an embarrassing situation," he said. "And your job is to be funny about that, whilst trying to keep your own job." [AP]
• Roman Polanski will find out whether he will be granted a release from prison sometime this week. His legal team filed an appeal on September 29, and the Swiss government should issue a ruling by Friday. [AP]
• Uh-oh: A woman named Regina Kimbell says she showed Chris Rock her 2005 documentary, My Nappy Roots, on the set of his TV show Everybody Hates Chris back in 2007. She believes he stole her idea and turned it into Good Hair, which opens Friday. She's looking for $5 million. [TMZ]
• The judge in the Gosselin case has did not make a decision yesterday regarding the cash Jon withdrew from the joint account. We should hear something soon, though. [TMZ]
• Zondervan, the publishing house that printed Kate Gosselin's earlier books, Multiple Bles8ings and Eight Little Faces is not promoting her third book, Love is in the Mix: Making Meals into Memories on its Web site any longer. The book was supposed to come out in the fall… [MSNBC Scoop]
• OMFG: Lady Gaga on Gossip Girl? Whee! My head is exploding! [Gatecrasher]
• An LA judge ruled Friday that Dr. Arnold Klein — Michael Jackson's dermatologist — does not have the right to raise concern about the welfare of any of Jackson's three children. When asked if he had any legal relationship with the kids, the doctor was "evasive." [NY Post]
• Carrie Fisher's show, Wishful Drinking, suggests that Brad Pitt's public love triangle with Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie is the modern-day equivalent of her dad, Eddie Fisher, leaving mom Debbie Reynolds for raven-haired temptress Elizabeth Taylor. Jennifer Aniston went to see the show! Carries says: "She's a very nice girl. I didn't speak to her, but I heard that she liked it. At least, I hope she liked it." [Gatecrasher]
• The Madonna wedding pix case: Settled. She's accepted a "substantial" amount after suing the owners of The Mail for publishing stolen photos of her wedding to Guy Ritchie. [Mirror]
• "Kate Moss had a bust-up with rocker boyfriend Jamie Hince after she was grabbed by a man in a banana hammock thong at Simon Cowell's $1.6 million 50th birthday bash." [Page Six]
• Russell Brand is in love. Possibly with Katy Perry. He says: "I think I'm in love." [The Sun]
• So many Mad Men weddings! Christina Hendricks, Elisabeth Moss and now Bryan Batt, aka Salvatore Romano. He plans to marry his longtime partner, events planner Tom Cianfichi. A source says it could be Christmas in Vermont. Whee! [Ace Showbiz]
• "Naomi Watts has been named as the Hollywood actress who gives the best return on the money she is paid. The 41-year-old star's last three films made $44 for every $1 she was paid to appear." [Telegraph]
• Amy Winehouse will sing on BBC One's Strictly Come Dancing this weekend — as a backup singer for her goddaughter, 13-year-old Dionne Bromfield. [BBC News]
• Have we decided who would make a better Prince Harry? Robert Pattinson or Rupert Grint? [Telegraph]
• Brooke Burns' dog is missing. [People]
• "The 'husband' divorced by Little Britain star Matt Lucas ten months ago hanged himself yesterday. Kevin McGee, 32, who wed the comic in a 2006 civil ceremony, left a suicide note on Facebook. It declared: 'Kevin McGee thinks death is much better than life.'" [The Sun]
• Kevin McGee "is thought to have become deeply depressed over the past few months after breaking up with the comedian, and friends reported that his drug-taking had spiraled out of control." [Daily Mail]
• "Little Britain star Matt Lucas has pulled out of his lead role in a London play after the death of his former partner Kevin McGee." [BBC News]
• Someone had a seizure during an intense scene during screening of Lars von Trier's Antichrist. You know, the one where Charlotte Gainsbourg tortures Willem Dafoe's twig and berries? [Page Six]
• "The blunt truth is weed-loving rapper Method Man may go to jail because he 'forgot' to pay his taxes." [NY Post]
• Layne Staley may be gone, but Alice In Chains lives on. [CNN]
• Dr. Phil is going to be a grandpa. The kind who knows everything. [People]
• It's been 20 years since Lenny Kravitz's Let Love Rule was released? I feel old. [NY Post]
• Whatshisname is calling his divorce a "never-ending nightmare." [The Sun]
• Whatshername is planning a divorce party. [The Sun]
• "I thought I was going to die for real. I should have felt safe but at a certain point of climbing a mountain, you're in a cloud and you hear a noise that is electricity — what can they do to protect you from electricity in the cloud you're in? So they were like, 'Sit on your bag, it's made of rubber'. I went, 'Why?' They said, 'So you don't get electrocuted'. I was like, 'Hang on, I'm on a TV show!' …I prayed. It was probably about half an hour and this is after two previous meltdowns begging Jack - like, 'Cut! Seriously, rescue me!' and he was like, 'From where? There's nowhere a helicopter can land', so I had to get to the summit to get off." — Natalie Imbruglia on working with Jack Osbourne on his TV show Celebrity Adrenaline Junkie. [News.com.au]
• "I'm tired of holding this in. I don't know what to do with it anymore, so, I've decided to give some of it away." — Tyler Perry, on revealing details about his unhappy childhood, abusive father and being molested by a female neighbor at the age of 10. [NY Daily News]
• "I'm insane or stupid. I can't figure out which." — Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, on performing on Dancing With The Stars despite stress fractures in both feet. [NY Daily News]
• "Anyone who thinks we move in a post-racial society is someone who's been smoking crack." — Spike Lee, 20 years after the release of Do The Right Thing. [Guardian]
• "He's got all these strong women working for him. Strong women survive there." — An anonymous Late Show staffer, on David Letterman. [MSNBC]
• "Less is more. When I wear too much make-up, I feel like a man in drag. I prefer to be low maintenance." — Halle Berry, to In Style. [MSNBC]

Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe's plum-colored gown has questionable sleeves, but she looks happy and comfortable.

IMdB tells me that Chyna Layne was in Cadillac Records and something called STD: Sexually Transmitted Demons. Her one-sleeved gown is not for wallflowers! It kind of looks like wallpaper, but I love the color, and the large bow on one side reminds me of the Baroness in The Sound Of Music.

Sherri Shepherd looks fantastic, though I think she'd benefit from a more open neckline.

71-year-old Jane Fonda appears to be wearing LEATHER PANTS. And looking fierce while doing so.

Harvey Keitel's glasses = Awesome.

Precious actress Xosha Roquemore looks adorable in this little strapless number.

Paula Patton is stunning, and I dig her interesting LGD — little gray dress — but the booties just aren't right.

Mariah Carey shows off her hourglass figure in what seems to be a long-sleeved American Apparel tee.

Mariah's husband Nick Cannon: Dapper.

Steve Buscemi and date: Charmingly rumpled.

I can't decide if Oprah's BFF Gayle King looks casually elegant, needs a shorter hem, or both.

You've gotta love the rock 'n roll nonchalance Lenny and Zoe Kravitz bring to the red carpet. Everything's a little bit off, yet it all works somehow.

I love that line in Mary J. Blige's The One" where she sings, "I ain't saying that I'm the best; but I'm the best." The lady looks amazing. You are the best, Mary!

[Images via Getty.]

Related: Race for a Cab: When Hailing a Ride Isn't So Black and White [ABC News]
Mr. Cab Driver [YouTube]

• Grace Rwaramba, the former nanny who took care of Michael Jackson's children, says she often pumped the King of Pop's stomach:

"I had to pump his stomach many times. He always mixed so much [drugs]. There was one period that it was so bad that I didn't let the children see him. He always ate too little and mixed too much." Mallika Chopra, daughter of Michael Jackson's friend Deepak Chopra, has this to say: "Grace never pumped Michael's stomach. She has no idea how she would even do such a thing." [People]

• According to the autopsy reports, Michael Jackson weighed only 112 lbs. when he died, was almost totally bald, had needle marks on his body and had nothing but pills in his stomach. UPDATE: It's all lies. [Mirror, NY Daily News, NY Post]
• Just as you suspected: Debbie Rowe says she was artificially inseminated by an anonymous donor and Michael Jackson is not the biological father of his kids. She says: "I offered him my womb — it was a gift. It was something I did to keep him happy." UPDATE: The story at this link seems to have been taken down. Hmm. [News Of The World]
• Jackie, Jermaine and Tito Jackson visited Neverland Ranch over the weekend, walking the grounds and reminiscing. [Breitbart]
• Will there be a burial at Neverland? [NY Post]
• Michael Jackson's father, Joe Jackson, says that he doubts the upcoming concerts in London were a stress factor for Michael. [AP]
• Thomas Mesereau Jr., the lawyer who defended Michael Jackson in his child molestation trial, says that the star never fully recovered from being accused. Mesereau says he was the victim of mother-and-son con artists and "didn't really trust adults… He looked to children as the people who wouldn't hurt him." [USA Today]
• Michael Jackson's mother has chosen Michael's longtime attorney L. Londell McMillan as the lawyer to represent the family. [AP]
• Will there be a legal battle over Michael Jackson's kids and estate? [LA Times]
• The Jackson family is suspicious of Dr. Conrad Murray and the fact that he was trying to do CPR on a bed instead of the floor the day Michael Jackson died. [TMZ]
• A lawyer for Dr. Conrad Murray says his client never gave or prescribed Jackson the painkillers Demerol or OxyContin. [AP]
• The doctor also claims that when he found Michael Jackson, he wasn't breathing but had a faint pulse. [AP]
• In this video, Spike Lee, Lenny Kravitz, Clive Davis and others talk about Michael Jackson's music. [Time]
• In case you didn't see it over the weekend, here's the "special commemorative edition" of Time with Michael Jackson. [Time]
• A "secret library" of 100 Michael Jackson songs could be released soon. [Times Of London]
• "Bloodsuckers Positioning Themselves To Exploit Michael Jackson's Tragic Death." [NY Daily News]
• "What Michael Jackson Did On His Last Day." (Rehearse.) [Time]
• Michael Jackson's final, "electric" rehearsal may be released as an album. [NY Daily News]
• Janet Jackson made an emotional appearance at the BET awards last night. [AP, NY Daily News]
• Did LaToya Jackson go rummaging through Michael Jackson's house before he died, searching for hidden cash? [NY Post]
• At this link, you'll see some pictures of Michael Jackson and his kids you may not have seen before. He's been working on a song with them, according to a source. [People]
• A Michael Jackson tribute concert could happen in a few weeks. [MSNBC Scoop]
• At a Paul Smith runway show, the designer and his models came down the runway dancing to "Thriller." [WWD]
• No shit: "The death of American pop singer Michael Jackson is one of the top stories of the 21st century for mainstream and Internet media, language analysts said." [UPI]
• Um, this report claims that Michael Jackson's friend Bubbles the chimpanzee is "grieving" and could be coming out with a book: "Bubbles has led an interesting life. There's lots to say." [The Sun]
• The FAA is claiming that TV pitchman Billy Mays wasn't wearing a seat belt when he hit his head on a US Air flight yesterday before dying. [TMZ]
• Billy Mays had just signed a deal and was about to film commercials for Taco Bell. [TMZ
• Britney Spears is not dead, though a message saying so appeared on her Twitter account — it was hacked, as was Ellen DeGeneres'. People are sick. [Telegraph, AP]
• Breaking: Jennifer Aniston is "relaxed and friendly" on the set of Bounty Hunter, which she is filming with Gerard Butler. [Page Six]
• Leonardo DiCaprio removed his Nike Dunks to enter a shrine in Kyoto last week, and some tourists stole his sneakers. [Page Six]
• The maternal grandmother of Mercy James, the little girl adopted by Madonna, says the child was supposed to be an an orphanage for six years and then be with the family… She claims Mercy was never supposed to adopted. [Telegraph]
• Bromance! Justin Timberlake and Prince Harry are new besties. [Gatecrasher]
• Kanye West and Amber Rose: So on! [Gatecrasher]
• Jonathan Murray, executive producer of The Real World, says TLC should keep the cameras rolling on Jon & Kate. "They have the opportunity to explore a situation facing a lot of American families when the parents get divorced. And it sounds like Jon and Kate have come up with a unique situation where they're going to take turns being in the house with the kids… You can explore what happens when a couple breaks up and how both are working hard to keep things as normal as possible for the kids." [USA Today]
• Kendra Wilkinson married NFL player Hank Baskett on Saturday night in a "lavish" ceremony at the Playboy Mansion. Congrats! [NY Daily News]
• Brüno was on a talk show with the Prime Minister of Australia over the weekend and hijinks ensued. [News.com.au]
• Lady GaGa was a no-show at a Take That concert in Manchester, UK. [Mirror]
• Lady GaGa will miss another Take That gig as she is "unwell" and resting "on doctor's orders." [BBC News]
• Lady GaGa's tour rider at Glastonbury was "bonkers," according to this paper: She asked for soft drinks, six kinds of vitamin water, non-smelly cheese, a roast chicken, deli meats, tuna, sofas, coffee tables and mirrors in her dressing room. Is that so odd? [The Sun]
• Russell Crowe left a £600 tip on a £240 pub bill in West Wales. [Mirror]
• NYC Transit Workers talk about stars who have gone to "track school" in order to shoot scenes in the subway: Nicolas Cage ("He was a nice man"), John Travolta, Angelina Jolie ("She was really down-to-earth"). [The New Yorker]
• Bones star Emily Deschanel is supporting The Great Ape Protection Act — which will phase out some experiments on chimpanzees — and asking politicians to do the same. [UPI]
• Vanessa Minnillo was seen grinding on the dancefloor and leaving a party with Topher Grace. [RadarOnline]
• Ricky Gervais has come out against bullfighting: "What is the pleasure in seeing an animal speared to death? Bullfighting needs to stop - it's so cruel." [Times Of London]
• Prepare yourself: A No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency cookbook, with recipes from Precious! [Telegraph]
• Amber Benson, aka Tara from Buffy, is a writer! Her new book, Death's Daughter, is about a fashionista who must travel through Hell itself to become the new Death and save her family. [NY Daily News]
• A famous photograph by Richard Avedon, depicting Nastassja Kinski and a snake, will be auctioned on Wednesday. It could be yours, if you've got £30,000! [Telegraph]
• Lookin' To Get Out — a Las Vegas comedy with a 5-year-old Angelina Jolie making her movie debut alongside Ann-Margaret — will be released on DVD tomorrow. [NY Post]
• Having trouble keeping Whitney Port's fake relationships straight? This might help. [Page Six]
• Elaine Stritch denies that she owes a writer money for helping her with a show; the writer is suing her. [UPI]
• "A blogger who wrote an internet article imagining the kidnap, rape and murder of the pop group Girls Aloud has been cleared of obscenity charges." [Telegraph]
• Blind item! "Which A-list actor has such a steamship-sized head that he needs to special-order his motorcycle helmets?" [Gatecrasher]
• "It's such a ludicrous concept, it is, that such different species as male and female can even cohabitate; it's wrong, just bloody well wrong. And yet it's what we're all raised to gravitate toward. It's a physical impossibility." — Gabrielle Anwar. [LA Times]
• "She's loving doing this music. It's a trip to watch. I have nothing to do with it, which is brilliant. She is just doing her thing, and it's really good. And everyone's chasing them to sign them. She's got great instincts. She's much smarter than I am." — Lenny Kravitz on daughter Zoe, who has a rock band called Elevator Fight. [People]

[Los Angeles, June 24. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[London, June 24. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston have split after less than a year together. A source says the breakup was a result of Miley's traveling, and not Nick Jonas, although he and Miley "have been spending time together." [Us]

• Adam Lambert's debut album is set to drop in the fall. He says, "It's going to be ridiculous! Get Ready!!!" [People]
• And Lambert's "official coming out cover of Rolling Stone" apparently includes a disturbingly-placed snake. [Perez Hilton]
• Megan Fox is in favor of legalizing marijuana. If it ever happened, she says, she'd be the "first person in line to buy a pack of joints." [TMZ]
• In what is perhaps the most superficial news item ever, Heidi Montag Pratt is starting a dry shampoo line inspired by her hair care experiences on I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here!. [Life & Style]
• Also, Heidi and Spencer have left the show for real this time. Hollywood publicist Michael Levine says, "the audience is also ridiculous for partnering in their absurdity." Well, yeah. [ABC]
• Adam Ant credits his comeback from "his deranged and bloated appearance" seven years ago to regular exercise and his girlfriend Clare, who makes sure he eats "only the finest healthy food." [Daily Mail]
• DJ Jazzy Jeff "stormed off the stage" at Kansas City venue Power & Light District, and later said managers stopped the show "for playin' hip hop." The managers say they just wanted him to turn the music down. [Breitbart]
• Okay, so maybe Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore didn't invite Susan Boyle to sing at their anniversary. [Telegraph]
• On September 9, Natalie Cole will give her first concert after her kidney transplant and her sister's death. [AP, via Yahoo News]
• David Carradine's ex-wife says he once suspended himself from a rope in a crucifixion position while she was giving a party. When she asked him what he was doing, he said, "I really would like a sandwich." [TMZ]
• The Thai police say the FBI can get involved in investigating Carradine's death, but only in an "observer role." [TMZ]
• And photos of Carradine's body show that the rope around his neck was knotted in the front, making it more likely his death was an accident. Apparently people who practice bondage frequently knot ropes in the front for easier release. [TMZ]
• Thirty-four-year-old Enrique Iglesias says he's not yet "mature" enough to father Anna Kournikova's children. [TMZ]
• A new play about Kurt Cobain is running in London, but will it be as good as Christopher Walken's play about Elvis? [Independent]
• Bret Michaels broke his nose and split his lip when he was hit by a falling sign at the Tony Awards, but he was apparently really nice about it. [People]
• Emeril Lagasse helped Jon and Kate Gosselin prepare a meal for their 100th episode. The menu included green bean casserole, chili macaroni, and, oddly, granola. [People]
• A Toni Braxton impersonator accused of telling a Suriname audience she was the real Toni Braxton has been acquitted. WTF. [AP, via Yahoo News]
• Mike Tyson has married his girlfriend after the death of their daughter Exodus. [Radar Online]
• Shanna Moakler surprisingly took the high road in response to Travis Barker's defamatory tweets. She had her reps tell OK!, "Shanna is not going to play out her personal relationships in the media." Her relationship to Carrie Prejean's breasts is another story.[Perez Hilton]
• Depeche Mode has resumed its tour after singer Dave Gahan's cancer surgery. [NYT]
• In potentially disturbing news for St. Lucia's youth, Amy Winehouse has pledged to help them. [Mirror]
• OK! is taking Emma Watson's statement that "there's something going on" between Robert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart as proof that they are together. [OK!]
• But Watson's publicist says the statement is made up! [Perez Hilton]
• Some sources say Leonardo Dicaprio and Bar Rafaeli have broken up. [People]
• Others say they are still together, but "miserable-looking." [TMZ]
• Paris Hilton loves Doug Reinhardt, but not Kim Kardashian — according to Doug Reinhardt. [E! Online]
• Anika Noni Rose says Jennifer Hudson will be a great mom. "It's been a harrowing year for her and I hope that she finds comfort, joy and support and that she can move forward with her new baby," Rose adds. [People]
• Prince reportedly needs two hip replacements, but refuses because, as a Jehovah's Witness, he can't get a blood transfusion. [Showbiz411.com]
• A tabloid reporter slyly questions whether Brooke Shields's mom really has dementia, then says he and Teri Shields were great friends and that "most of our wonderful afternoons together never resulted in a story." What a saint. [National Enquirer]
• Terrence Howard says the Obamas should go to Prague on one of their date nights, because it is "an untapped resource of love and romance," while Paris is "overused." Russell Simmons thinks they should go to a yoga studio. [Politico]
• "I went to see Andrea Bocelli last night. The first time I've been out in months. The Hollywood Bowl allowed me to use my wheelchair." — Elizabeth Taylor, via Twitter [CNN]
• "I think I'm either naive or insane to play her - maybe a little bit of both!" — Anne Hathaway, on playing Judy Garland in an upcoming biopic [Daily Express]
• "I have a body that girls can look at and go, Oh she's not anorexically skinny. She looks healthy and she's got cellulite, yeah!" — Hayden Panettiere [E! Online]
• "(These shows) are a reflection of our society. You hear kids saying that they want to be famous, and when you ask them what for, they don't know - they just want to be famous. It's like there is this lack of passion in the doing of something that that might bring you riches. When I was little, I never said I wanted to be famous, I said I wanted to be a musician." — Lenny Kravitz, on reality shows [Daily Express]
• "He violated me. I never told anybody. I just buried it as deeply as I could and kept people at an arms length. I never really let a person get too close to me. I could have been married years ago, but I had a commitment issue." — Queen Latifah, speaking out for the first time about her childhood sexual abuse [The Sun]
• "Just know that this too shall pass.… Next week, it will be someone else on the cover [of magazines] and you can go about your life." — the sage Tori Spelling, advising Jon and Kate Gosselin on their notoriety [LA Times]

• Damn Yankee Alex Rodriguez — previously linked to Madonna — was seen MAKING OUT with Kate Hudson in Miami. Isn't she into hairy hippies? [Page Six]

• Is there some kind of "catfight" happening on the set of Iron Man 2? This paper claims "the claws are out" and "sparks are flying" between Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson. A "source" says: "They come from different worlds and have completely different styles. Gwyneth has found Scarlett very demanding of the attention of the crew. It's not a happy set." Wimminz don't know how to work together! [The Sun]
• As you may recall, Mariska Hargitay had a partially collapsed lung, and now she reveals why: "I've been doing my own stunts on the show for 10 years. I fell wrong, basically. I collapsed my lung doing a stunt." She adds: "I'm back to my old self." [People]
• Rihanna: Spotted in the VIP room of NYC strip club FlashDancers with six friends, "tipping the girls a lot" and kissing a guy she was with. A guy who was not Chris Brown. [Page Six]
• Cynthia Nixon is engaged to ladyfriend Christine Marinoni, but says: "There are really not any wedding plans other than to do everything we can ... to see that same-sex marriage is passed in New York." Word. She continues: "I've lived here all my life. ... I want to get married in my home. I think it's really time for New York to step up to the plate." [USA Today]
• This film critic writes, "Jennifer Aniston is prime example of good actors making bad movie choices… Every time we see a new picture of her on the set of The Baster, we have to ask: Why does America's most famously single woman continually put herself in awkward positions onscreen?" [NY Daily News]
• Simon Cowell and Kara DioGuardi: Not leaving American Idol. "Every year there are rumors right before the finale," spills a source. "That's all they are - rumors. It makes for good buzz." [MSNBC]
• Lily Allen's band may have trashed a hotel room, but Lily was not part of it: "They did a pretty good job of one [hotel room] in Paris. TVs out of the window and everything, but I wasn't there. I wasn't involved. I was in a different hotel. It was a day off. When I have a day off and you're in a European city the band tends to be a write off. I didn't see them for that whole day, I didn't want to. They sounded like they were in a state." [Daily Mail]
• Here are pictures of Hayden Panettiere, 19, and her new man, Welsh TV personality Steve Jones, 32, sunbathing in the south of France. [Daily Mail]
• If you're a Twihard, or just a regular person, you can see the New Moon poster in all its Photoshoppy glory at the link. [Perez]
• Your friend Kanye West pleaded not guilty to misdemeanor charges regarding that paparazzi scuffle at LAX last year. He's got a hearing on July 15. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Chelsea Handler does not want Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag Pratt on her show; they were pitched to her last week, and she says: "I told my talent booker to tell their publicists to fuck off." [Perez Hilton]
• Julianne Hough previously said she was leaving Dancing With The Stars next season; now she is saying she'll work on her music for a while and return in 2010. [People]
• Mel Gibson's girlfriend: "Definitely" pregnant. Which means the National Enquirer was right. [MSNBC]
• Precious, the film based on the novel Push by Sapphire, received a standing ovation in Cannes. [Guardian]
• Katy Perry "kept everyone in business class awake with her rowdy partying" on a European flight over the weekend. A person who emerges from a giant banana does not arrive quietly. [Gatecrasher]
• Jermaine Dupri has a tattoo of Janet Jackson looking like the Virgin Mary. What have you done for her lately? [The Life Files]
• Farrah Fawcett's friend Alana Stewart says Fawcett has not been given a timetable regarding how much time she has left. "No one has said to her you have two months to live," Stewart said Monday. "So I'm looking at that as a really good sign." [CNN]
• Apparently Alana Stewart, who appears on camera throughout Farrah's Story, got $200,000 after she threatened to cancel the project. [NY Post]
• Your TV is about to get more Sherri Shepherd: Lifetime has ordered 12 episodes of Sherri, the comedy in which she plays a a single mom, paralegal and actress. [Variety]
• Pedro Almodovar's Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown: coming to TV in the US! Plus: A Broadway musical! [Breitbart]
• Colin Firth and Kevin Spacey will star in flick based on a George Orwell book. Catalonia revolves around the real-life story of how Orwell and his wife Eileen traveled to Barcelona to fight Stalinism. Sexy? [Variety]
• "Rod Stewart's wife has spoken of her heartache at being unable to conceive a second child… Stewart, who has six other children from four previous relationships, is also said to be desperate for another baby." [Daily Mail]
• Porn star Marilyn Chambers, who was found dead in her home at the age of 56 last month, died from complications of heart disease, according to the coroner's report. [Reuters]
• Rapper Dolla, whose album was scheduled to drop via Jive Records this summer, was fatally shot in the head in the parking lot of the Beverly Center mall in L.A. yesterday. [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which SAG Award-winning actor has pals ship him marijuana in hollowed-out candles when he's working out of town?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I said, 'Mariah, do you fancy playing a Jewish social worker and tapping into your white side? You will have to commit to wearing dark circles under your eyes, a wig and the cheapest fabric on your body, and shedding all the layers.' And, you know, it wasn't that hard for her, because that is who she's like when we're alone. She's part of a group of African-Americans that have been blessed to have been around the world and have a little money, but who are a generation away from, if not actually from, the ghetto. We feel like a little unit - Lenny Kravitz, Mariah Carey, me. We are outsiders in our own community, a little." — Lee Daniels, director of Precious. [Guardian]
• "I didn't want to release it for a long time, because it's very personal. But I've grown so much in the past two years – I feel ready for people to see it now."— Paris Hilton on her movie, Paris Not France. [Mirror]
• "How could anyone think I would pretend to split up from my wife to grab headlines? It's just sick." — Peter Andre, who is "crushed" that his marriage to Katie "Jordan" Price has disintegrated. [The Sun]
• "I saw a woman walking a big iguana and holding it up to have a pee." — Ashley Jensen, aka Christina on Ugly Betty, on why L.A. freaks her out. [The Sun]
• "I think the handful of people who disagreed with this song really misunderstood what the record was about. What I'm talking about is getting money. I was really trying to point out that Arabs have one of the richest cultures in the world, not just from a monetary standpoint but also a spiritual standpoint. In the United States and North America, we're not really identified with a particular faith. We don't really have a culture that anyone can identify with because America is a mixture taken from everyone else's [roots]. My thinking is that if we're going to take from a culture, let's take from a culture that has exemplified success for thousands of years." — Busta Rhymes, on his controversial track, "Arab Money," which uses verses from the Koran as well as statements about women and partying. [Time]
• "I think they were in a much more hopeful place when the last movie ended, and that's really all I can tell you about where we will pick them up. I was given such great stuff to do in the last movie, but it was very emotional and almost tragic. I would really like to see Miranda back in her stride, with a spring in her step. To be Samantha, to be any of the women, marriage, it might be your destination or it might not. It doesn't mean that you're just sitting by the phone weeping. You might have a very full life that you're enjoying." — Cynthia Nixon, on the Sex And The City sequel. [USA Today]
• "Getting naked was very strange. It was the first time I'd been naked in the light, in front of a girl with no hiding place. I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie. It put her at a weird angle. I'm not extremely well-endowed and clearly this wasn't the move." — Shia LaBeouf, on losing his virginity. [Mirror]

• Kiefer Sutherland surrendered to police yesterday for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. He was arrested and charged with a third-degree assault charge. He was photographed and fingerprinted. Then he left. [People]

• This report says Kiefer was not arrested, but received a desk ticket. [TMZ]
• This report says Kiefer was arrested but not jailed and should have a court date in the next few weeks. [Reuters]
• Kiefer looks handsome in spectacles! [Gothamist]
• This paper claims Kiefer Sutherland "strolled" into the police station, "as cool in a crisis as his 24 alter ego." [NY Daily News]
• And! This says Kiefer "meekly" surrendered to cops. [NY Post]
• Uh-oh. Anna Wintour is fucking pissed that the biggest story from the Met ball is Kiefer's headbutt. A source says: "Anna is furious that the Met Gala got upstaged by Kiefer doing something stupid at an after-party that wasn't even part of her event. Now that's all anyone is talking about, not her party. And she is so genuinely fond of Jack, she has supported him and Lazaro for years, she really feels they are part of the future of American fashion. So she's doubly annoyed." DOUBLY ANNOYED. This will not end well. [NY Mag]
• Brooke Shields has told friends that she was indeed "jostled" by Jack McCollough at the Met Gala, but it was "no big deal" and had more to do with her 6-inch heels and a dark and crowded room. In any case, maybe Kiefer thought Jack pushed her?!?! [TMZ]
• Lindsay Lohan has been taking her 15-year-old sister to parties and a source says: "Dina took Ali out of school and now all she does is hang out with Lindsay — who is back to drinking and partying hard. Ali is now wearing really skimpy outfits, and it's just sad. No one is in control. Where are children's services? Where is Dina?" Is this "source" Michael Lohan??? [Page Six]
• Rihanna had planned to wear thigh high lace-up Louis Vuitton boots to the Met Gala, but Madonna wanted to wear them and "and insisted that nobody else could be seen or photographed in them." Rihanna was fine with it. [Page Six]
• Amy Winehouse will play the St. Lucia jazz festival tonight, she says, "It also is an honour for me to appear on the same bill as great singers such as Chaka Khan and Patti LaBelle as well great jazz musicians like Monty Alexander and George Duke." And! She loves St. Lucia! "Since I first came to the island, I have been greeted with nothing but kindness and friendship, as well as incredible music and the most beautiful of settings. I have made friends for life and have been inspired by my surroundings. The laid-back lifestyle definitely suits me, it's a home from home with great beaches." Is it too late to catch a flight? [Mirror]
• Paula Abdul has something to say! "I want to make it perfectly clear to everyone that I have never been addicted to or abused drugs in my life," she says. "I have never been drunk." Wait, what?!?!? "I have never entered a rehab or detox treatment center. I spent time hiking, bicycling, doing yoga and enjoying the spa. As anyone who has visited the La Costa Resort knows, it is a luxury hotel, not a rehab facility." Oh. Hmm. But did you tell Ladies Home Journal you went there to kick your pill habit?!?! [E!]
• Megan Fox has something to say! "If you know how to take control of [being a sex symbol], then it can be powerful. But I have no idea how to handle it yet, how to deal with it. I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against — but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've every learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard – but I do. And part of it is my own fault." [People]
• Jon Favreau used his Twitter account to describe Scarlett Johansson's first day in her Black Widow outfit on the set of Iron Man 2: "Scarlett's first day on set in the Black Widow outfit… You've never heard a crew get so quiet so fast." [Mirror]
• Five months after Jennifer Hudson's dude David Otunga proposed to her; she proposed right back with a "architectural and geometric" platinum and diamond men's ring. [People]
• Jennifer Aniston is acting in The Baster — the comedy about a woman whose best friend (Jason Bateman) secretly fathers her child when he swaps her intended artificial insemination sample with his own — and she is also the executive producer. She says of doing double duty: "I'm just exhausted." [USA Today]
• A judge is placing Roman Polanski's case on hold — not throwing it out; the judge said that because "Mr. Polanski doesn't intend to submit himself to the jurisdiction of the court," his motion for dismissal would be denied. [AP]
• Sparkly vampire and same-sex scene god Robert Pattinson has hit No. 1 on USA Today's high scientific Celebrity Heat Index, which measures media exposure. Some schmuck named Brad Pitt is No. 2. [USA Today]
• Sarah Jessica Parker has joined the board of the New York City Ballet and will host the Spring Gala next week, where Samantha Ronson will DJ. [Page Six]
• Again with this story: Sarah Jessica Parker's surrogate is a "bisexual tattooed rocker." And? [The Star]
• The pastor of Miss California Carrie Prejean would like all you haters to leave her alone. "We are all sinners. Christians aren't perfect," he says. "The pictures are from when she was 17, and they do not disqualify her from being able to share her opinion." [E!]
• "Smitten" Joe Jonas is desperately seeking a "lovenest" for he and girlfriend Camilla Belle to sneak off to, since his brothers always seem to be around. He may wear a purity ring but it certainly sounds like he's thinking some perfectly natural and wonderfully impure thoughts. GET IT. [Contact Music]
• Gwyneth Paltrow is "mulling" over whether to return to the London stage in a production of Chekhov's The Three Sisters. [Daily Mail]
• Meryl Streep on 30 Rock? "I would love to do that yes," she says. "It's an amazing show." Tina Fey: Make it happen. [Mirror]
• Time does "10 Questions With JJ Abrams." I like this one: Q: What is your favorite plot twist of all time? A: The one that comes to mind is the end of Planet of the Apes, when you realize, "Oh my God, he's never getting home because that is home." I just remember seeing that as a kid and I was like, "That's it. My brain just stopped." [Time]
• Lady GaGa's breast popped out during a video shoot. A source says she laughed and said: "You better make sure you airbrush my nipples!" [Gatecrasher]
• Ouch: Sacha Baron Cohen bleached all of his body hair to play Bruno, but "shortly after having the procedure done he felt a burning sensation and it grew steadily worse. It was so severe around a certain part of his anatomy that he couldn't sit down for three days." [Telegraph]
• "Paris [Hilton]: I don't keep a diary..I Google myself." [The Sun]
• A new biography claims Patrick Swayze didn't realize he was sick until it was nearly too late. [Gatecrasher]
• Samantha Morton spent the first 16 years of her life either in care or living in foster homes; now she has a film which will air on TV in the UK — called The Unloved — about a girl who grows up in the system. [Daily Mail]
• Keanu Reeves will star in the Universal Pictures retelling of the classic tale The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, which will be titled Jekyll. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Ooh, Marisa Tomei and Liv Tyler will star in a psychological thriller called 10A/10B, about the relationship and consequences that result when a culinary perfectionist, portrayed by Tyler, and an actress with a failing career, played by Tomei, become neighbors in a loft apartment building. [Variety]
• "Farrah Fawcett's Friends Prepare To Say Goodbye." Ryan O'Neal says she "stays in bed now" and her treatment has "pretty much ended." [MSNBC Scoop]
• Leonard Nimoy is in the new Star Trek, and now JJ Abrams has also made him a guest-star on Fringe. [USA Today]
• A promoter from Suriname admits that he scammed people into thinking they were paying $53 to see Toni Braxton, when in fact they were watching Braxton impersonator Trina Johnson-Finn sing. [USA Today]
• Lenny Kravitz will tour the UK in July and take a guitar which belonged to Jimi Hendrix with him. [Daily Express]
• Ozzy Osbourne hearts Phil Collins. [Daily Express]
• Blind item! "Which top model's hubby is hoping some sexy literature will spice up their love life? He recently gave her a graphic tome and asked what she'd be into most." [Gatecrasher]
• "She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids… Yet we're up against her biological clock — that pressure is what cracked it. Because if somebody wants a child — man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman — so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one. So we were at different points in our lives. We were not compatible on that issue." — Lance Armstrong, on why he broke up with Sheryl Crow. [Page Six]
• "I couldn't even pick up a girl until I had a hit song. When that happened, in a club in Argentina, I rang my five best friends and said: 'Get down here, we are all going to get laid.' It was crazy what a hit could do. But I do hide behind my clothes a bit. I am the opposite of a playboy." — Enrique Iglesias. [Daily Mail]
• "There were some locations, that by all rights we were supposed to have access to — in front of certain churches, for instance. But two or three days beforehand we were requested not to shoot there by local officials. I think that church officials gave the word to the local government that they didn't want us filming in certain places." — Ron Howard on shooting Angels & Demons. [WSJ]
• "'My weakness - if you can call it that - was drugs. I took all sorts from a fairly young age, ecstasy and LSD among them. It almost led me to a very long period in jail. I was high on drugs, on one occasion, and threatened to kill one of the older girls I was living with, who had been picking on me." — Samantha Morton. [Daily Mail]
• "It used to be Diane Keaton – she always used to tell me, 'I'm terrible, I'm awful, I can't do it, you should get someone else.' And she was always brilliant. Well, Larry is like this. I'd always been a fan. I asked him to do it, and he said, 'But I can't act! I can only do what I do, I'm not an actor, you'll be disappointed. Those are the ones who can always do it. The ones that tell you how great they are can never do it. When it came time, he did it. And not just the comedy, which I expected, but all the other things which required acting, emotions and being touching." — Woody Allen, on Larry David, who stars in Allen's film, Whatever Works. [Independent]
• "The Hanso Foundation that started the Dharma Initiative hired this guy Valenzetti to basically work on this equation to determine what was the probability of the world ending in the wake of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Valenzetti basically deduced that it was 100 percent within the next 27 years, so the Hanso Foundation started the Dharma Initiative in an effort to try to change the variables in the equation so that mankind wouldn't wipe it itself out." — Lost's Damon Lindelof, on what the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42 actually mean. [NY Mag]
• "It's real love. And we will be married forever and ever and ever. I legally changed my name to Pratt. I'm very excited. I thought about my dress for years. I knew everything I wanted. I knew I wanted a strapless, gorgeous, big, flowy, princess, fun, amazing dress, and that's what I had. I wanted it to be really classic but young and fun and fresh. I felt like a princess, and it was perfect. I was just sitting there in my dress, like, 'I am really about to marry the most amazing man, and this is such a great experience.'" — Heidi Montag. [Mirror]
• "It's so mainstream now. When you look at people who are transmitting the news to you on television they all look like they're in porn, the way they're quaffed. It's really crazy. There's this like hyper-grooming thing going on now, men and women. I was never thinking, oh, what an outré thing to do to put a porn actor in a quote-unquote normal movie. I just thought she was interesting." — Steven Soderbergh, on his new flick, The Girlfriend Experience. [WSJ]
• "Well, if I had to be addicted to something, it would be sex!" — Hayden Panettiere. [Page Six]

• In case you hadn't noticed, a new Lindsay Lohan feeding frenzy has begun.

Does the woman have problems? Probably. Sure. This headline, however — "Lindsay Meltdown! Chugging Vodka After Breakup With Sam" — is just sensationalist. She was seen drinking, and crying, but her mom was there, sipping wine. So. [RadarOnline]

• More on this in Midweek Madness but: On this week's Us: Lindsay Lohan. Suicidal. [Perez]
• And Lindsay says she's in "absolute hell." [Us Magazine]
• Samantha Ronson is not, repeat not seeking a restraining order against Lindsay Lohan, and she and LL "are totally communicating." [People]
• Madonna has donated about half a million bucks to Italian earthquake victims; her grandparents lived in Pacentro, Italy, until 1919. [People]
• Howard K. Stern's lawyer says Stern is innocent and "no one enabled" Anna Nicole Smith when it came to drugs. Yeah, sure. [CNN]
• Rihanna is leaving Barbados after partying with her grandparents; she looks super happy in this pic snapped at the airport. [TMZ]
• Cops continue to investigate the shooting at Gisele's wedding; can't you just imagine bodyguards shrugging and feigning innocence while their guns are concealed under their jackets? [Mirror]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps — soon to be divorced — was seen singing karaoke while having a girls' night out, just like classy royals are wont to do. [Page Six]
• I'm not loving Rachel McAdams' hair on the cover of the new Marie Claire but what are you gonna do. She is a cutie, though. [ONTD]
• So Rachel McAdams took part in Marie Claire's book club, and read Prodigal Summer. She says: "I absolutely fell in love with this book. I don't think I got out of bed for three days-I was just eating it up. My favorite story line was the one between Deanna and Eddie Bondo. I found that totally hot. It was one of the hottest love stories I've ever read." [ONTD]
• You know how Paris Hilton has been saying Doug Reinhardt was "going to be" her husband? Apparently she is thinking about a summer wedding, maybe August in the Bahamas. Five bucks says no. [Mirror]
• Taylor Swift looks gaudy and scheming on the new eye-searing cover of Seventeen. [Perez]
• Jessica Simpson is "ignoring" Eminem's video, which is probably best. Also, she has not been dropped from her country label; she was "on loan" and continues to be on Epic records or whatever. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Zac Efron stars in an epic Funny Or Die video that's supposed to go up later today. Also in the clip: Brody Jenner, Joel Madden, Queen Latifah, Justin Long, Nicole Richie, Vanessa Hudgens, Carmen Electra, Brittany Snow and Lance Bass. [EW]
• Amy Poehler and a dead squirrel are on the cover of TV Guide. Amy dishes on the secret of her success: "In 1992, I met an old gypsy woman on the side of the road and she gave me a magic bean. I ate it and that was it. The hard part was I had to chop off her head after she gave it to me. But now look at me. I'm famous." [Just Jared]
• Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets, is talking about how she financed her in vitro: She inherited $30,000 from an aunt and worked overtime at her job in addition to the disability payments she received. [MSNBC]
• There' some kind of feud going on between Holly Madison and a Las Vegas TV reporter, but honestly? Yawn. [Perez]
• Meanwhile, Kendra Wilkinson has been hanging out at the shooting range. [People]
• Peaches Geldof went clubbing and someone poured a beer on her head and this is newsworthy. [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz got fan mail… from French Prez Nicolas Sarkozy! [Reuters]
• Helena Bonham Carter will be in Terminator: Salvation; apparently stills released this week show her with half her face shaved off and her brain visible. Bring it! [Independent]
• Can you picture Al Pacino playing Napoleon? It's gonna happen! For a screen adaptation of a children's book called Betsy And The Emperor. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Rob Lowe won his lawsuit against his former nanny, by the by. She violated the confidentiality agreement she signed by telling everyone Lowe's business. [TMZ]
• Gorgeous and talented Sanaa Lathan will host Lens On Talent, a BET show for undiscovered filmmakers. [USA Today]
• Liam Neeson went to the 70th birthday party of Sir David Frost, on of Neeson's first appearances since the death of his wife, Natasha Richardson. [Telegraph]
• Tim Roth will play a "gnarled tramp" in Skellig, a family film to be shown on TV Easter weekend in the UK. [Telegraph]
• One of the choreographers from So You Think You Can Dance, who was arrested last week for alleged sexual assaults, is expected to be released without any charges pressed by prosecutors. Yeah. [TMZ]
• Jamie Waylett, 19, also known as Vincent Crabbe in the Harry Potter movies, was busted for having a cannabis farm at his mum's house. Maybe he needed it for his Defence Against the Dark Arts class? Herbivus inhalus! [Daily Mail]
• What the world needs now: A Seinfeld porn parody. [The Sun]
• For the love of Zeus why are they remaking Romancing The Stone?!?!?! [UPI]
• Blind item! "Which seemingly down-to-earth starlet is actually a wicked diva? When she wasn't featured as prominently as her other cast members in a recent photo shoot, she left the set in a huff." [Gatecrasher]
• Strictly Come Dancing is an obsession for my entire family. I don't watch much TV but I like that show. You will see me on Strictly or the US version Dancing With The Stars." — Emily Blunt. [Daily Express]
• "We were both looking for our walks, having this great time competing and yet helping each other. I tried all these walks, like that Monty Python sketch, the silly walks. I went to bars in Texas, trying to pass as Texan, trying to get something real. He got his walk, I found mine. And then I came into the make-up room and he shows up with these horrible false teeth that he'd gotten from his dentist. I was so jealous. I mean, I had a walk, he had the limp. But he had the teeth, too." — Jon Voight, on working on classic film Midnight Cowboy with Dustin Hoffman. [Sydney Morning Herald]
• "I loved the way [the author, Barbara Kingsolver] linked the interconnectedness of nature with the interconnectedness of human relationships. When she writes in the beginning that "solitude is only a human presumption," I thought that was so true. I mean, we all think we're the center of the universe, but we don't exist alone. It's that ripple idea that you cannot touch one thing without affecting another." — Rachel McAdams on Prodigal Summer. [ONTD]
• "I'll be a soccer mom. Like Posh Spice. I'll be there in my heels cheering on my kids. 'Go, team, go!' But I'll have no idea what's going on." — Miley Cyrus, on where she'll be in 10 years. [USA Today]
• "It's a serious crime and there's no doubt it's very disappointing — I was heartbroken by it. Obviously people are seeing an unfinished film. It's like a Ferrari without a paint job." — Hugh Jackman on the Wolverine leak, about which he is "heartbroken." [Reuters]

• Britney Spears's comeback includes a stop at NBC’s Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony on December 3. Will she perform? Will she push the button and light the tree? Will she ice skate? So many questions. [MSNBC]
• Wait a minute: In this report, Britney says her new life sucks! "There’s no excitement, there’s no passion. I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out. But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day. […] I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening." B-but- you're doing so well! [The Sun]
• Brit's new CD leaked all over the internet yesterday, probably deliberately. Fans dig it. [The Sun]
• Barack Obama's barber in Chicago says the President-Elect doesn't mind having gray hair. "It's not like he has a head full of gray hair," says Zariff, who only goes by one name. "It's just a few gray hairs, so it's nothing to get excited about." Oh! And Zariff might visit DC! "I said, 'I'm going with you' [if you win]," Zariff told Obama. His reply? "Absolutely. I'm not changing barbers, man." [Us]
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer had a romantic candlelight dinner. It's so on. [People]

• Have you seen Rihanna's new video, the one with Justin Timberlake? She slithers on the hood of a car, he's dripping wet in a wife beater. They embrace. It's HOT. [Concrete Loop]
• Jessica Simpson says her sister Ashlee may induce labor. What is she doing?
  "Different foot massages and stuff," Jessica told Ellen DeGeneres on her show (which airs Wednesday). "I don't know. I think she's really just jumping around trying everything right now." [People]
• Angelina Jolie was on BBC radio last night, talking about Changeling. There's video, so if you want to see her ignoring the camera, being incredibly reserved and looking down and being quiet, by all means, watch. [Perez Hilton]
• Angelina got super emotional while talking about her mom at a press conference in London. Tears! [Perez Hilton]
• When asked if the public could expect her to add to her enormous family with Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie replied: "Sure you can." [Mirror]
• By the by, Angelina's dad Jon Voight says he has one wish before he dies and it's "to work with my son [James Haven] and Angie again, in a movie. The three of us together. That would be nice." [MSNBC]
• Get psyched: Miley Cyrus will perform on the finale of Dancing With The Stars, just two days after her 16th birthday. Her song is called "Fly On The Wall," maybe you want to get the lyrics and sing along? [People, UPI]
• Jennifer Lopez loves motherhood and wants more babies. Cashmere onesies for everyone! [MSNBC]
• Tim Robbins has written an open letter to Gregory C. Soumas of the New York City Board of Elections. It begins: "I would like to publicly apologize for being such a dim-witted dilettante on Election Day. I was under the naïve assumption that I could vote where I voted in the last two elections." And it ends: "I was thinking of returning that favor by publishing your home address in this letter but then I thought that maybe one of the thousands of New Yorkers that were taken off the voter rolls in the last two months might not understand what a patriotic upstanding man you are and might show up at your doorstep with the misguided assumption that you are a petty vindictive corrupt scumbag." [Huffington Post]
• Christian Siriano: Engaged! He also might appear on Gossip Girl and says his next collection is "a little bit inspired by Egypt." Oh, and he saw the Victoria's Secret fashion show and declares: "Tranny Klum is fabulous." That's Heidi to you and me. [E!]
• William from Stylista has written a goodbye letter, in which he says: "I want Ashlie to win! Hands down! Team Ashlie all the way! She is, quite possibly, the only sane person (minus the hysterics) left on the show. Now, that's not to say that I don't like a little crazy, but honestly, I could sing Ashlie's praises all day." [Elle]
• Authorities found "multiple prescription bottles" by the body of Paula Goodspeed after she allegedly overdosed near Paula Abdul's house last week. [TMZ]
• An extra in a courtroom scene on NBC's Medium was so disruptive, he was kicked out of the jury box. Turns out he was Sasha Baron Cohen, dressed as Bruno. Guess Patricia Aquette didn't see that one coming. [EW]
• Lipstick Jungle: Not canceled. Yet. [NY Mag, NY Times]
• Jennifer Love Hewitt's trailer on the set of Ghost Whisperer was burgled. [TMZ]
• Michael Jackson will not go to London, despite being sued by former pal Prince Abdullah of Bahrain. The cash was an advance, in exchange for two albums, a musical, and an autobiography. None of which Jackson has delivered. The trial started yesterday and continues today, without Jackson's presence; his lawyer says he is to ill to travel. [Fox 411]
• Courtney Love went on some kind of blogathon on Sunday, posting 60 times. Now she writes: "I didnt know that style.com would put all those links together, i dont ingest alchohol and to even make the merest suggestion of a Cr__k P–e is insane and mean.and a lie, wichyou know perfectly well." She also says: "i am not suicidal, occasionally very occasioanly like all of us i get depressed, and that was over a year ago and i had a mini little depression attack well big one, and the Lanvin show made me happier, i dont know quite why it happened but i find that mediciation is not the answer to this, working out and doing daimoku ( chanting) is as is yoga and eating correctly and i want somemore Kombucha tea i think that stuff is miraculous for glow and health. those things work far better than this chemical culture of numbing our rage and numbing our pains and demons." There's a [sic] on all of that, obvs. [Perez Hilton]
• Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour wer on Extra. They were asked why they broke up. Simon said: "Because Terri decided to dump me. You sent me a text." Terri replied: "I didn't dump you. It was just time. We had a great six years, and we're the best of friends." Simon denied that Terri got a £5 million "golden goodbye." He laughed: "If anything I should be getting the money." [Daily Mail]
• Russell Brand's girlfriend, Sydney Jo Jackson, is cute and curly-haired, but this paper says she is "equally barmy in the barnet department." [The Sun]
• Lenny Kravitz is having trouble selling is sexy penthouse, a "moody orgy palace" priced at $18 million. It's been on the market for six years; dreadlocked rockstar not included. [NY Mag via Curbed]
• What's in Julianne Moore's makeup bag? Kiehl's Original Musk, Tarte Cheek Stain in Blushing Bride, Olay Complete Defense Daily UV Moisturizer. And more. [Marie Claire]
• Jessica Lange has a book of photography and it is gorgeous. Click to see some black and white shots. [NY Mag]
• Brandon Walters, a 6 year old aboriginal boy who stars with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman in Australia, is suddenly famous, but Nicole says: "I feel very protective of him. If the film does really well he is going to need a lot of protection." His mom says: "If it does become a problem for him we'll just go out bush, get away from it all. Now he's at school, he's happy and never stops talking. The film made him confident. He's no longer shy." [Reuters]
• Seth Rogan wants to make a porno-based comedy for Showtime. It would be a series about three twentysomethings who learn about life and love while running a pornography shop, and it's in development. [Variety]
• Rashida Jones: Back on NBC! She'll star in Amy Poehler's new show. [Page Six]
• Beef between Damon Dash and Jay-Z: Kanye West is involved, as are diamond chains. [Rush & Molloy]
• Speaking of Kanye, 50 Cent says Mr. West's new album is "interesting" and that the public "won't forgive him for it" and that it's actually "T-Pain's album." Ouch. [The.Life Files]
• Celine Dion has been forced to postpone several tour dates due to a respiratory virus. Her people say: "Her physician has instructed her to refrain from singing in order to completely recover." [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Locklear: Formally charged with DUI after that incident when she was arrested in September. She's been charged with one count of driving under the influence of prescription drugs. [Extra, TMZ]
• Actress Heather Matarazzo was supposed to marry girlfriend Caroline Murphy in California, but now that Prop 8 has passed, she jokes, "We're breaking up. I'm going to get together with [MSNBC's] Keith Olbermann. We'll have babies, lots of babies!" [Rush & Molloy]
• Spotted: Natalie Imbruglia snogging Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas. [Mirror]
• Meg Ryan has won a German lifetime achievement award for best international actress and will pick up the statuette at a gala ceremony November 27. They're calling her the "queen of romantic comedy" and seem to think it is still 1989. [Yahoo News]
• Stan Lee and Olivia de Havilland both received the National Medal of Arts and the National Humanities Medal at the White House yesterday. [Washington Post]
• The Daily Mail apologizes for its "inaccurate" article about David Duchovny and his tennis coach. [People]
• "So how did Steve Martin and Maureen McCormick end up on a date? Florence Henderson knew Chevy Chase, who knew Steve Martin, who wanted Maureen's phone number. They had dinner and made out and the kissing was good, but Maureen was out of it. It would be their only date." [Huffington Post]
• This story, called "Producers' fury at George Takei for boldly going where he shouldn't have" is about how Takei urinated in the camp in the middle of the night on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. Producers are pissed! [Daily Mail]
• So far, George Takei is the favorite to win the show! [Mirror]
• Katie "Jordan" Price and husband Peter Andre are not on the rocks; here is a picture of her wearing a giant "P" necklace to prove it. [The Sun]
• Mindy McCready, who was released from jail two weeks ago, says she isn't proud of an affair she had with baseball great Roger Clemens. She met Clemens when she was 16 but didn't have sex with him until several years later. "Roger Clemens is one of the most wonderful men I've ever known. He treated me like a princess." But! She says she now has "nothing but remorse and nothing but sympathy for what [his wife Debbie] had to go through with this situation, and she has my utmost apology." [UPI]
• Coming to Broadway: Priscilla Queen of the Desert, the musical! [UPI]
• Mary Delgado , a former NFL cheerleader and winner of The Bachelor in 2004, is out of jail after being arrested in a southwest border-town bar for unruly behavior. Drama! [AP]
• Cheech and Chong: Gonna get roasted. Not baked, roasted! [UPI]
• A poem handwritten by Sir Paul McCartney for his friend Spike Milligan is to be sold at auction next week. It's called "The Poet Of Dumbswoman Lane." [Telegraph]
• Five year old Beatrice McCartney is on her dad's new track, a Sir Paul ditty called "Two Magpies." [Mirror]
• Bogota, Colombia hearts Duran Duran. [Guardian]
• "'Climb every Mountain' is a beautiful statement of philosophy. Critics may think The Sound of Music is saccharine, but I think it's profound." — Jon Voight. [MSNBC]
• "I've gotten more stylish since I've been with my husband. I was always making fun of him because he has so many leather coats, jackets and shoes. But he looks hot. I want to look good for him. So I kind of stepped it up a bit." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "There's no smoking. The lights never go out, 24/7. You can't cover anything. You can't even put your head under a blanket. All the cells have cameras in them. I was told, you know, 'You'll have your own cell.' But I didn't for the first two or three weeks; I had a cell mate. He got out – but not for long. He came back in pretty quick." — Keifer Sutherland on his stint in jail, in Men's Vogue. [People]
• "Pete and I laugh about it. We can’t win. If we’re smiling for the cameras they say we’re setting it up to gloss over the cracks. If we’re not together they think we’ve split up." — Katie "Jordan" Price on the breakup rumors about her and husband Peter Andre. [Daily Mail]
• "Yes, I have solar panels and all that sort of stuff. However, the more I learn about the subject matter, I also realise that people find it patronizing. They feel like they're being told what to do when somebody like me talks about the fact I have solar panels. Not everybody can get solar panels and not everyone can drive a hybrid car. It's not about blame or telling people how to live, it's just about saying, 'Let's all be aware of these issues.'" — Leonardo DiCaprio. [Daily Express]
• "In terms of my future as an actor and stuff, I don't know. I am in a place in my life where... I've had some great opportunities and I may just choose to have some more children. I've no idea what is in my future but I am very at peace with where I want to be. There are many things I want to do besides act." — Nicole Kidman. [Reuters]
• "Sometimes I lie in bed and I'm like, 'Oh my god, there's Seal lying next to me. What's he doing there?' I get a smile on my face immediately. Our honeymoon period is definitely not over." — Heidi Klum in In Style. [People]
• "We feed the chickens and the pigs — I have two pigs, and boy are they really pigs. They just get down in that mud and roll around. I like getting down in there and working in the garden. Oh, I want someone to build me a good chicken coop… like a man who can just get down there and build it…ooh." — Reese Witherspoon, on taking her kids to her farm outside of L.A. [USA Today]

• Tom Ford has spoken: eyebrow wiggling is now a sign of displeasure. "I haven't had any plastic surgery — despite what people think, this is my nose...I have had Restylane and Botox, but I don't think of that as plastic surgery any more. It's true I can't really frown, but I can move my eyebrows, so..." [Guardian]
• Well, at least Manolo Blahnik is less ridiculous! Oh, wait. "Manolo Blahnik tumbles into the room wearing an extremely dapper royal-purple suit, purple and yellow knitted tie, orange suede shoes and black circular glasses à la Le Corbusier. He stretches out his hand, and when I shake it he squeaks in pain, shaking, then retracting it." [Independent]
• Jean-Paul Gaultier, maybe? “'I did a revue with my teddy bear at home...I pretended he had breasts. The first cone bra I did was for my teddy bear, not for Madonna. I had a strawberry box for the stage, and I put a lot of feathers on my teddy bear for the headdress. I used feathers from my cleaning brush for the finale.'” [NYT]
• Come. on, Zac Posen, redeem your industry: "Puppies, babies and plastic surgery are the new fashion. That's where fashion's going." [Big Think]

• It's official: Project Runway saved from a fate worse than death, aka Lifetime Television for Women. [NY Mag]
• "Ironically, runways in the nation that brought us an all-black Vogue were not only less diverse than New York's but disappointingly white." [Shophound]
• The sale of YSL's art collection — which includes Picassos, a Matisse, a Leger and a Mondrian — is expected by auctioneers to bring in 440 billion dollars. [Breitbart]
• The Stylista contestants revealed! One of them is named Cologne. [NY Mag]
• This Lancome lip gloss and this Marc Jacobs shirt kind of look alike. [Glam Chic]
• The Queen's preferred dressmaker on the verge of collapse! Experts suggest it, um, failed to move with the times. [Telegraph]
• In a weird coincidence, the designer of Diana's wedding dress is going under, too. [Daily Mail]
• The Sergio Rossi-Puma sneaker heel is the stuff nightmares are made of. [Fashionista]
• Kate Moss apparently "snogs the face off" some Vivienne Westwood cohort. [Mirror]
• The Eastpak allegedly "reinvented" by Raf Simons. That's what they said about cafeteria food. [LA Times]
• Shoes are apparently a better investment than stocks. Although not, presumably, if you walk in them. Cue Carrie Bradshaw reference. [Business Sheet]
• "On Monday, men's magazine GQ India hits the newsstands, following in the footsteps of other male-only publications such as Men's Health, Maxim, and FHM, and experts are saying this is further proof that Indian men are embracing more global fashions." Pictured: an Indian guy in what appears to be a gold leather Harlequin outfit and bow-tie. [Reuters]
• Burberry Children's to bring overpriced (adorable) mini duffel coats to U.S. market. [WWD]
• Lenny Kravitz barred from Ric Owens show; sneaks in anyway. [Style.com]
• "Over the last year, Mr. Margiela, known as fashion’s “Invisible Man” because he never gives interviews and has rarely been photographed, has told colleagues that he wants to stop designing and that he has begun a search for his successor at the house." So...how will anyone know? [NY Times]
• Speculation rampant that Plum Sykes querying Guardian style column. Okay, not really. [Guardian]
• We can't really wrap our heads around the new Pat Field for venerable frump-purveyor Marks and Sparks line, so will probably stick to weeping. [The Sun]
• Fashion feels the credit crunch. [WWD]
• Gareth Pugh brings back the Elizabethan ruff. [ElleUK]

• Tara Subkoff's short films for Bebe are all set to premiere. Says the designer of her "star," Lydia Hearst: "She truly reminds me of the classic 'Hitchcock blonde' — he would have loved her and she would have been a huge star in his films if we could go back in time." Obviously, like Subkoff, Hitch would have staged lesbian makeout sessions with Aubrey O'Day in front of Bungalow 8 for his art. [WWD]
• Sometimes we wonder whether Karl Rove is behind this seemingly systematic campaign to get everyone in Fashionland behind Obama. "Designer Patricia Field has created an Obama t-shirt that reads "Elegance. Dignity. Obama. Statesman." Naturally, this is written in glitter. [Racked]
• We kind of don't understand why Jeremy Piven was the host of Conde Nast's Fashion Rocks concert last year, but according to Page Six the actor "was a 'nightmare,' insisting on a separate green room and rewriting the script up until the last minute. 'And it wasn't even funny,'said the source." [P6]

• Wait, what? Luxury brand LVMH acquires yacht company. [WWD]
• After months of speculation, minimalist label Jil Sander sold to Japan's Onward Holdings Co. [WSJ]
• Gryphon designer Amy Cho meets fashion halfway with a "Responsible Fur" initiative, which encourages the use of "recycled" vintage furs and extra-soft fakes. Methinks we love her. [Style.com]
• Baggy jeans are back. Not Katie-Holmes sloppy, either: these Bottega Veneat guys are more early-90s harem. [The Life Files]
• Buckingham Palace guardsmen may switch from real bearskin hats to Stella McCartney fauxs after animal rights activists meet with Ministry of Defense. [Daily Mail]
• Following in the footsteps of Vera Wang, various penniless freelancers, Oscar de la Renta will be a guest-blogger on Brides.com. "He'll be writing about wedding choices on dresses, jewelry and destinations. " [WWD]
• In a desperate bid to lure back-to-schoolers, mid-price retailers pull out all the stops. "Kohl's launched six lines of clothing this summer with a star-studded advertising campaign featuring celebrities from including Lenny Kravitz and Hayden Panettiere. JCPenney introduced another half-a-dozen labels, the department store's biggest crop of new brands, with looks ranging from urban rock to all-American. And Dillard's is chasing soccer moms with a line designed by Sheryl Crow that hit stores last month." Wait...Lenny Kravitz? [LAT]
• Style.com is branching out. "On Sept. 2, the site will debut Shop Now, where designer advertisers can pay to have their brands featured." Or, to have them considered: the editors will decide which of the submissions to feature. [MediaWeek]
• To celebrate its centennial, venerable makeup brand Max Factor has treated itself to Gisele Bundchen. For a campaign, I mean. [ElleUK]
• The relatively youthful British Harper's Bazaar is thriving. [Independent]
• Wait, isn't this what the internets do? The new magazine Distill "will present a digested read of the style and fashion press from all over the world, offering a shorthand guide to what and who are in fashion, and how those trends are being captured and covered." [Independent]
• Guess legendary photog Patrick Demarchelier likes his work. "I love all women. Women are sublime beings. I love all of it: their eyes, their noses, their bodies." [Telegraph]
• You know there's a problem when models are complaining that they're too thin: says Karen Elson, "Fashion is obsessed with finding young, beautiful and vulnerable girls, bringing them into the fashion world, praising them, worshipping them but suddenly dropping them like a stone when they hit puberty and grow boobs and hips. It's so dangerous and can potentially harm the girls mentally and physically." [Guardian]
• Shockingly, real designers don't want to dress Heidi Montag. "They don’t want their stuff on Heidi, even despite the fact that she is very media-friendly and is photographed a lot," the rep said. "It’s just not the caliber of celebrity most clients go for." [The Superficial]
• Sadie Frost arranges celeb auction for breast cancer. The haul? "Here are the black peep-toe size 38 Christian Louboutins which “Kate” has signed and covered with graffiti love hearts, a dress belonging to Amy Winehouse, a suit Jude Law wore on the set of Alfie, a guitar donated by Kasabian guitarist Jay Mehler, a Jake Chapman picture." [This Is London]
• Tamara Mellon's ex, Matthew, is hoping second time's the charm: "Mellon has joined forces with his new bride-to-be, designer Nicole Hanley, to introduce Hanley-Mellon, a clothing line that will launch for spring 2009. “It’s a mix of Chloé, YSL and bohemian chic,' Mellon told WWD." [WWD]

[Milan, July 15. Image via INFDaily]

• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham was on a plane with kids Romeo and Cruz when a bird flew into one the of the aircraft's engines right before take-off. According to The Sun, "Passengers screamed as the pilot slammed on the brakes and the plane screeched to a halt. It was then that the horrifying scale of the disaster really hit home for Victoria — she realised she was wearing standard-issue aircraft pyjamas and no make-up." [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse hit her own damn bodyguard. Get a grip, girl! [The Sun]
• And here's a man who says Amy Winehouse punched him in the face three times at a pub. Is this new news? It's so hard to tell. [The Sun]
• Jamie Lynn Spears and new baby! Picture! [ONTD, via OK!]
• Is Mary-Kate Olsen heading back to rehab? Midweek Madness will have more on this later. [Star]

• Madonna is pissed that lawyers are saying her relationship with Alex Rodriguez is "an affair of the heart." [The Sun]
• The New York Post points out: "Yesterday's Times reported, 'Madonna has denied having an affair with Rodriguez.' In actuality, the hair-splitting statement issued in her name said she is 'not romantically involved with [Alex] Rodriguez.' As many readers of this newspaper know, you don't have to be romantically involved to have an affair." [Page Six]
• When Lenny Kravitz learned he was being accused of having an extramarital affair with Alex Rodriguez's wife, Cynthia, he "looked like he was going to throw up," according to a witness. Apparently Lenny fired Guy Oseary, who then planted the Cynthia Rodriguez story in retaliation. Messy! [Page Six]
• Alex Rodriguez was seen having lunch with Rabbi Michael Berg, the director of the Kabbalah Centre. What does it all meeaaaaaaaaaaan? [People]
• The Britney/Madonna video will be "very deep." [ONTD]
• Matthew McConaughey's little surfer dude is named Levi Alves McConaughey. [DListed]
• Jessica Simpson is "deeply hurt" by Pam Anderson calling her a "bitch and a whore" for wearing a T-shirt that read "Real Girls Eat Meat." [MSNBC]
• The Christie Brinkley divorce case chugs along. A shrink thinks Christie and Peter Cook both need therapy. [Fox News]
• But! Between the two, the psychiatrist thinks Christie is the one who should get custody. Because Peter Cook is a narcissist with a bottomless ego, blah blah blah. [Yahoo News]
• Nashville, TN is having a moment: Nicole Kidman gave birth there, Miley Cyrus, who grew up there, is also filming a movie in town; Sheryl Crow, Jack White and Kid Rock all own homes in Nashville. [Yahoo News]
• There will not, repeat, NOT, be a Friends movie. You may return to your regularly scheduled ennui. [Perez Hilton]
• Nick Cannon proposed to Mariah Carey twice! First when they were hanging out on her rooftop, he hid a 17-carat diamond inside a candy ring pop. A few days later, "He sort of kidnapped me and took me on a helicopter ride," she says. "Then he re-proposed." She spills this in the new Elle magazine. She's on the cover next to a line that reads, "Feeling broke?" Compared to Mariah I am, thanks! [People]
• Oprah's show helped the DVD of the BBC show Planet Earth sell 3m copies worldwide. She should be in the dictionary under "juggernaut." [Financial Times]
• David Lee Roth almost died! He was in anaphylactic shock due to a nut allergy when cops pulled him over for speeding. Now I'm gonna have "Just A Gigolo" stuck in my head. Ayyyyy ain't got nooooo body… [Perez Hilton]
• Will Pete Doherty and Kate Moss get back together? Apparently they've been "swapping hot texts." [Mirror]
• The news that Chris Martin loves changing diapers is almost as boring as a Coldplay song. [The Sun]
• Twenty-year-old model Lily Cole: Went out with thirty-five year-old Jude Law recently; is now seeing rocker Bryan Ferry, 62. The Mail says, "He's old enough to be your granddad!" [Daily Mail]
• The Balthazar Getty/Sienna Miller affair continues, and now they're in Italy… as is Balthazar's wife. [Page Six]
• Kathie Lee Gifford: Seen using some sort of exercise device in the ladies room of a New York city restaurant. [Page Six]
• Russell Simmons is on the market! Porschia Coleman, the lady he was dating when his wife Kimora filed for divorce, is now out of the picture. Brown, leggy model? You could be next! [Page Six]
• Kirsten Dunst: Seen making out with a downtown DJ. [Page Six]
• The previously discussed Jimi Hendrix sex tape will hit very soon. Are you experienced? [Rush & Molloy]
• Kinda lame blind item: "Which chummy-seeming reality-show hosts can't stand each other off-camera?" [Rush & Molloy]
• Another beauty queen with "embarrassing" photos! This time it's Elyse Umemoto, Miss Washington 2007. She's just like, flipping off the camera, holding booze and making "suggestive oral sex gang signs." [TMZ]
• "George is a great guy, a wonderful person. I don't regret spending time with him, and he's a great person to get to know. We still remain friends and have kept in touch. In fact, we spoke over the phone a couple of days ago. He's fun to be around, down to earth, laid back, funny and smart. Most people know George has a great sense of humor and is an adept storyteller, but I will always miss his extraordinary dance moves." — Sarah Larson. [L.A. Times]
• "Who doesn't feel the pressure in this business? You can't be in it as a woman and not be mowed down by these things. You can either submit - or just get mad and defy it! I don't work out. I am fatter than any movie star you have ever met! But, you know, I don't care! My oldest daughter is an actress and the pressure on her to remain really, really, really thin, to be glamorous is intense. To be at openings and wearing couture and having people throw borrowed clothing and borrowed jewellery at her like she is a mannequin, just to sell other people's crap. It is too bad. It doesn't really enhance your ability to do the job." — Meryl Streep. [Mirror]

• Okay, let's start here: Before Madonna, Yankee Alex Rodriguez was into a stripper named Monique. [Page Six]
• Now, amid rumors that A-Rod is seeing Madonna, comes news that A-Rod's wife is seeing Lenny Kravitz — who used to date Madonna. Did you know that Leonard co-wrote "Justify My Love"? In any case, this stuff is messy, messy business. [NY Post]
• Wait, wait. Alex and wife Cynthia have split. They are separated. Is Cynthia on a romantic getaway with Lenny Kravitz? "She is not! I know that," Cynthia's mom says. [Daily News]
• This picture of Angelina Jolie in the hospital window showing off her baby bump is sooo clearly not Angelina Jolie. [Just Jared]
• Angie and Brad want at least $15 million for the first shot of them with the newborns. Duh. [NY Post]

• So these "X-rated" letters that Blake Fielder-Civil wrote to some chick who is not Amy Winehouse are pretty harmless, except when they're not. For instance, in one, he says" "Your[sic] a beautiful girl too Lissy, you have such amazing eyes. I can see me licking all my [deleted] off that hot sexy face." Then he goes on to say "I've told Amy about you… and read a bit of one of your letters, it turns her on and she wants to meet ya." I dunno, I wonder if this chick was writing him pornographic stuff to entrap him? It seems very one-sided. [The Sun]
• Is there Will Smith backlash? Are people trying to tear him down with these random Scientology reports? [LA Times]
• Sean "Diddy" Combs reviews Hancock: "As a black kid, you're like why ain't there black superheroes?… They got dog superheroes… I guess they felt like black people wasn't good enough to be superheroes… Shit is changing…Fuck Batman, Superman, Robin with his bitchass, Underdog and the mutt motherfucker. Hancock bitches. Hancock. I feel proud that my kids can go see a superhero that looks like them." [PaulScheer.com]
• The rumors that Diddy is dating singer Cassie persist. They've been swirling for a while and she turned 21 last year. [Rush & Molloy]
• Rose McGowan's rep says Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez are still together – professionally and personally. Plus! Rose will still star in the three movies Rodriguez is working on (Barbarella, Red Sonja and Woman in Chains!). So hmm, where did those reports of their split — and the replacement of Rose with Jessica Alba — come from? [People]
• Michael Lohan is trying to sell his "exclusive story" about fathering Lindsay's secret half sister to the tabloids — because if DNA tests prove he is Ashley Kaufman's dad, he's going to owe a shitload of back child support. Anyway, did you see the kid? Do you think she's a Lohan? [Page Six]
• Shocker: Naomi Campbell threw a tantrum. Although it sounds rather tame. The scene: A party for Jay-Z in London. A partygoer says: "She arrived at the champagne reception and was surprisingly quiet, refusing any alcohol. She looked like she was having a good time and was very calm - until people started to move into the dining area. Naomi clearly thought she would get some dinner, but one of Jay-Z’s people told her she wasn’t invited and couldn’t go in. At first she thought he was joking, but when she realised it was serious she couldn’t believe it. She stormed off screaming and swearing. It was pretty funny to watch." Eh, doesn't sound like she actually threw a fit. In other news, Jay-Z allegedly sent assistants over to get the phone numbers of pretty young ladies at the party. [This Is London]
• Rumer Willis and Brittny Gastineau: Seen vying for Gossip Girl star Chase Crawford's attention. But like, just because he's not into them doesn't mean he's gay, right? [Page Six]
• Forest Whitaker is huge in France. [Page Six]
• Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore are dunzo. He blames the media! "I found the entire speculation and subsequent photographs and intrusions terrifying, and only wish to live as normal a life as possible," he says. Sad face! [Rush & Molloy]
• It's a boy! Matthew McConaughey's unborn surfer will be a dude. [Rush & Molloy]
• The Christie Brinkley divorce trial has begun and Christie says she "heard a lot of new things I didn't know" in the opening and now she needs "some time to let it all absorb." [People]
• Christie's estranged husband hearts online porn. As for the the teenager he was having an affair with, he "showered" her with cash, including a $300,000 "hush money" payout. [Yahoo News]
• The new People magazine cover is a picture of Anne Hathaway with the line: "The Princess & The Con Man." [People]
• Kim Stewart flitted into the VIP area where her "friend" John Mayer was hanging with Jennifer Aniston and Jen had Kim kicked out. Twice. [The Sun]
• As reported in Midweek Madness, Naomi Watts is pregnant. Again. She gave birth 11 months ago. [News.com.au]
• Rapper DMX has been arrested. Again. In Arizona. [Reuters]
• Sarah Larson: Seen having dinner with hot hottie Jason Statham. [Perez Hilton]
• Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Don Cheadle played a poker game where the cash goes to victims of the humanitarian crisis in the Darfur region of Sudan. [E!]
• Lily Allen might quit making music and to A&R at a record label instead. [The Sun]
• Could Heath Ledger really win an Oscar? [CNN]
• Kylie Minogue got an Order of The British Empire from Prince Charles. She went to Buckingham Palace and everything. [BBC News]
• Jack Wagner visited Heather Locklear in the Arizona facility she's in for anxiety and depression. Just like an episode of Melrose Place. [People]
• Madonna's brother got a job with Janice Dickinson. He's gonna design her bedroom — in the house she shares with models for her show The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. [E!]
• A former employee is writing an "explosive" book about Miramax, based on files and tapes of Harvey and Bob Weinstein. Did the brothers make shitty movies on purpose? [Page Six]
• OMG Bruce Lee museum. Yes. Yes! [Reuters]

[London, May 13. Image via Bauer-Griffin]