Christina Applegate's September 20th Emmy gown took a wedding-hall drapery, mated it with Elizabeth Berkeley's Showgirls wardrobe, gave it to Flora, Fauna and Meriwether to make without the aid of magic, and then pinned it in back like a Gap mannequin's. The result? Perfection. [Getty]


Perhaps inspired by the supernatural air of November 17th's L.A. New Moon premiere, Noot Seear allowed the author of a 1976 Lord of the Rings ripoff who was also 13 to design her garb. [Getty]


Designer Maya Yogev (at Fashion Group International of Los Angeles' 'Meet The Designers' event on October 12) is apparently interested in creating multi-purpose clothing. Specifically, that which can go from dungeon to SCA joust to, okay nowhere else, without missing a beat. Or missing a lot of beats and instead being some kind of John Cage composition, except bad. [Getty]


Style-wise, this was a banner year for Leighton Meester. There were risks. There were successes. And, at the November 17th opening of the Times Square American Eagle store, there was camel-toe. Oh yes, there was camel-toe. [Image via GuestofaGuest]


At November 5th's MTV Europe Awards in Berlin, Leona Lewis attempted to craft a look that would combine glamour, with Depends. It was a failure. [Getty]


Anja Rubik, at a November 12th NARS 15X15 launch in NYC, was the ethereal product of a college freshman's ill-advised foray into the world of absinthe, after someone's trip to Prague, and prior to vomiting. [Getty]


More than anything, what was offensive about Doda's 11/5 MTV Europe getup was that she didn't credit her public with either intelligence or the most elementary knowledge of Tom Jones' oeuvre. [Getty]


(Oh, and the fact that this is what was underneath.)


Emma de Caunes, at November 12th's 37th International Emmy Awards Gala in New York, actually made us consider punning on the word "fowl," which is crime enough to merit inclusion. [Getty]


...but really, if we had to name the worst of the worst, it would have to be this one, from the first annual Guggenheim Art Awards on October 29th. (Oh, and Kimbra's blue vagina, go-go boots and Medusa hair weren't so great, either.) [Getty]

[New York, December 15. Image via Getty]

NEW YORK - DECEMBER 15: Musician Leighton Meester attends the album release party at Butter on December 15, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Brian Ach/Getty Images for Butter)

[Los Angeles, December 5. Image via WENN.]

• Marilyn Manson revealed in an interview that he and Evan Rachel Wood are back together. Evan — When a guy violently beats and murders your look-alike in a music video, that's a deal breaker.

• In an interview with the music site Metal Hammer, Manson volunteered: "I'm not afraid to be me... Sometimes you feel awkward being what you're best at, you feel like you have to be something new. But I think that a lot of people will agree that me being me at my best [is what] I need to be. I think that that really paid off because I'm back with Evan, that's kind of breaking news, you can be the first one to say that." ? [Metal Hammer]
• Rachel Uchitel, who initially denied that she had an affair with Tiger Woods, announced that she was holding a press conference today to "make a statement about [her] relationship with Tiger Woods," but then cancelled it at the last minute due to what her lawyer called "unforeseen circumstances." [Extra]
• Rachel Uchitel canceled the press conference after a night of phone calls between her team and Tiger Woods' representatives. Uchitel reportedly has hundreds of messages from their five-month relationship. [Radar Online]
• Some sources say Tiger Woods offered Rachel Uchitel money for her silence, but TMZ says "we have no knowledge one way or the other." [TMZ]
• Tiger Woods' childhood friend, who is now the president of Tiger Woods Design, bought a plane ticket for Rachel Uchitel to go to Australia last month for a rendez-vous with Tiger. [TMZ]
• Jaimee Grubbs says that during one of her encounters with Tiger Woods he "told me he had done a workout and he was going to do another workout for legs... I said, 'For someone who works out a lot, you sure have small calves!' I remember him giving me the biggest death look. He told me he was very insecure about the size of his calves. He said, 'I can't grow calves.' And I was like, 'Okay, sorry!'" [Us]
• According to new audio tapes released by the Florida Highway Patrol, Tiger Woods was snoring when his neighbor, Jarius Lavar Adams, approached him after his car accident last week. Adams said Woods was bleeding a little from his lower lip but did not smell of booze. [TMZ]
• Another woman has come forward claiming she had an affair with Tiger Woods, bring the grand total to four. "Jenny" called the Bubba The Love Sponge radio show and claimed that she's been seeing him on and off for a year and can prove it because he has an identifiable mole on his left butt cheek. [Perez Hilton]
• Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood was arrested in London last night on suspicion of assaulting his 21-year-old girlfriend Ekaterina Ivanova and released on bail. His rep says: "I can confirm that there was an incident last night and that Ronnie Wood was arrested ... we have no further statement to make at this time." [TMZ]
• Ronnie Wood's 23-year marriage to Jo Wood collapsed after he began dating Ivanova. Their divorce was finalized last month. [AP]
• Sources say Ronnie Wood slapped Ekaterina Ivanova to the ground, then pulled her hair outside a restaurant at 11:30 pm and a restaurant worker called the police. An eyewitness says: "I think they were arguing about her not wanting to go home. He hit her and she was screaming that she didn't want to go with him." [The Mirror]
• It looks like Gwyneth Paltrow will sing again in her new film. She's playing a fallen country-western singer in the new film Love Don't Let Me Down, which is being produced by Tobey Maguire and also stars Tim McGraw and Leighton Meester. [Perez HIlton]
• Johnny Depp is in talks to star as Pancho Villa in the biopic Seven Friends of Pancho Villa and the Woman With Six Fingers. [Variety]
• Roman Polanski has been moved from jail to an undisclosed location for "security reasons and personal protection" according to Swiss officials, but is still expected to be taken to his chalet in Gstaad tomorrow. [AP]
• A judge has dismissed Jordan's Scott's copyright infringement claim against Stephenie Meyer because he says Breaking Dawn and Scott's 2006 vampire novel The Nocturne have little in common and the "characters in the two works are vastly different." [Publishers Weekly]
• Hayden Panettierre, who is 20, was spotted carrying a case of Coors Light into her friend's house. [Perez Hilton]
• Jennifer Lopez says she has a "bruised bone" from slipping during her performance at the AMAs. She told Ellen DeGeneres, "What happened was one of the dancers' backs was slippery from sweat and lights and everything. We never bargained for that because they always had T-shirts on in rehearsal. So they were barebacked, didn't have shirts on for the performance, and when I stepped on their backs my feet got wet. So when I landed. it just slipped from under me." [People]
• Nas was arrested for DUI near his home in Georgia in September. [TMZ]
• Nas' DUI case was dismissed because there wasn't enough evidence. Though he admitted to the police that he'd been smoking pot, the drug test "came back negative for drugs, including marijuana." [TMZ]
• Lily Allen wrote on her blog, "I've had laryngitis and bronchitis for about two months and I've just been doing so many gigs and just not resting. I have been to an ear, nose, and throat specialist a few times and they stuck a big camera down my throat. It's not very nice." [Daily Star]
• The National Board of Review's 2009 awards were announced today. Up In The Air was named Best Film, Clint Eastwood won Best Director for Invictus. Precious was not on their list of the year's 10 best films. [The Wrap]
• Julianne Hough may be dating Kings of Leon bassist Jared Followill. An eyewitness reports from a bar in Nashville: "They were very affectionate, just hanging out at the table. They stayed for about an hour and enjoyed karaoke. None of them sang, but they just hung with their group. Only a few people noticed she was even there. They didn't make a spectacle of it." [Perez Hilton]
• Mark Wahlberg says there are two seasons left of Entourage on HBO then, "We'll see, there could be more. But then, a movie." [Showbiz 411]
• MTV renewed The Hills for a sixth season... but is anyone still watching? [Perez Hilton]
• Will Smith has put production of Hancock 2 on hold to "spend more time with his family." [Perez Hilton]
• GLAAD released a statement supporting ABC's decision to ban Adam Lambert from Jimmy Kimmel Live and the network's New Year's Eve special. GLAAD says Lambert's performance at the AMA differed "greatly" from rehearsals and "It would appear that the kiss between Adam Lambert and his keyboardist did not factor into ABC's decision ... ABC has a history of positive gay and transgender inclusion that includes featuring kisses between gay and lesbian couples on-air." [TMZ]
• Mick Hucknall of Simply Red is suing his neighbor over the rights to hunt deer, ducks and other birds at their rival game lodges in Ireland. [AP]
• Cynthia Nixon said of the failure of the New York senate to pass a marriage equity bill, "The fight for justice is always long and hard, and while this vote was of course extremely disappointing, we now know with certainty who our friends are and who our enemies are. And, trust me, we won't forget it at election time. It's really a terrible shame that many of our legislators could not bring themselves to support a simple matter of fairness and equality, and have betrayed the majority of New Yorkers who believe same-sex marriage should be legalized." [Advocate]
• Penelope Cruz says, "The musical number [in Nine] had to be sexy... and thinking about the Pink Panther would help get me in the mood ... When I was climbing the ropes to the ceiling, all I could think about was the Pink Panther." [People]
• Penelope Cruz says her relationship with Pedro Almodóvar, with whom she has made four films, has "been growing and evolving gradually. Right now, we get to the set, we look at each other, and I know if he slept the night before, if he's in a bad mood or in a good mood. He is the same with me-he looks at me and he knows what I am thinking. So that makes it easier. But at the same time, he's a very big presence, so I don't get less nervous when I'm working with him now because we are friends-I get maybe even more nervous because I'm always worried about disappointing him." [Interview Magazine]
• Peter Jackson says of his new film The Lovely Bones getting mixed reviews, "The film is a film that we're very proud of, and it's not a film that everyone likes, but I don't know what film is. You know, there's no such thing as perfection; you can't make a film that everybody in the world is going to like, so it just represents their view. The film is about a teenage girl - in some respects, we made it for teenagers." [N.Y. Magazine]

• Victoria Beckham's team always denies the best rumors. Blake Lively, apparently, will not be the face of her next campaign for the dress line. [UK Vogue]
• Helena Christensen's photographs of climate change in Peru are being exhibited in London. [BBC]

• The sheikh who had such grand plans for Christian Lacroix when he bid for the company has failed to file key financing guarantees with the bankruptcy judge on time. This jeopardizes the sale of Lacroix, since all the other would-be bidders for the troubled company have dropped out. The sheikh, or anyone else interested in buying the brand, has until December 1 to prove they have the financial wherewithal and the business plans to relaunch the brand. [WWD]
• Lauren Conrad is authoring a book on style. Most astoundingly, it'll feature "new and never seen before photos" of the "style icon" — we assumed between the camera crews and the tabloids, her every style move was amply documented. [People]
• Francisco Costa of Calvin Klein dressed Penelope Cruz for the New York premiere of Pedro Almodovar's new movie, Broken Embraces. Says Costa, "I wasn't in the last fitting, and I got pictures of her in the clothes at the hotel room. And they looked like movie stills. She was just wearing the clothes in the hotel room, but it almost felt like Helmut Newton pictures, there was so much of her in the photos." [People]
• Rachel Zoe is hiring. She wants an L.A.-based ad sales exec to "evangelize The Zoe Report as being a leader in the fashion publication/newsletter space." Must have "an entrepreneurial attitude - overcome any obstacle, creative, willing to be an evangelist for a new product." Is she starting a business or founding a cult? [Fashionista]
• Leighton Meester, on the cover of UK Glamour this month, has some fashion advice for Blair Waldorf. We hate when actors do that; can you imagine Leonard Nimoy telling Spock to, you know, loosen up a little? Why must actors constantly remind us that they are acting? It's so meta. Anyway, she'd like her to put her hairbands on differently. Meester also says, "I actually think I'm prettier without makeup." Which puts her in the solid majority of women. [People]
• J.C. Penney is going to stop printing such big catalogs, because most people shop online now. [NBC]
• Russell Athletic closed a factory in Honduras when its 1,200 workers voted to unionize in 2008. Now, because of pressure from college anti-sweatshop groups that persuaded universities to drop Russell products, the company has announced that the employees will be rehired. The new Honduras factory where they will work will be unionized, and Russell has agreed not to fight unionization at its seven other plants in the country. [NYTimes]
• Model Karlie Kloss played ping pong against pro Wally Green. And won. The girl is unstoppable. [Style.com]
• After hearing that Gemma Ward planned to return to modeling in the new year, FrostFrench — Sadie Frost and Jemima French's London-based label — has announced it would like her to be the face of their next campaign. Right now, before she (presumably) gets down to her fighting weight again. This is like when a boy asks you out in front of the whole school, only FrostFrench is doing it in front of the whole Internet, and it smacks of a publicity stunt. Just, no. [Fashionista]
• Chanel Iman suggested to the Victoria's Secret stylist that they bedazzle her name on the back of the t-shirt she wears in one look for the show. [InStyle]
• Former Abercrombie & Fitch model Brad Greiner confirmed that the company recompenses its models pretty terribly: although Bruce Weber's images of Greiner were splashed all over national billboards, in-store displays, and even shopping bags, he made only $500 a day. The shoot lasted two days. That's not quite American Apparel-bad, but it's close. With runway work already pro bono, lookbook bookings suddenly a status symbol, and editorial work also unpaid, will campaigns be next to tell models it's worth it for the 'exposure'? Abercrombie has underpaid its campaign models for years, but other successful fashion companies might, in these straitened times, try applying its business model. [StyleSectionLA]
• An Australian fashion editor who bought a pair of Versace sandals and then had the heel quickly break off of one is pissed because when she sent the shoes to Milan for repair, they were returned with instructions for her to deal with the Australian Versace stores. There are no longer any Australian Versace stores, because the company closed them. [News.com.au]
• The U.S. Polo Association is suing Polo Ralph Lauren for allegedly blocking its efforts to license its trademarks for a line of fragrances. [WWD]
• Burberry is looking to open 21 stores in India through a partnership deal with a local company. Indians spent about £2 billion on luxury goods last year. [ToL]

• Amy Winehouse was supposedly in the hospital because she was sick, but now her dad says:

"It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little [pointing to his chest] leaky something or other." All together now: What kind of fuckery is this? [The Sun]

• Mariah Carey is supposed to turn on the Christmas lights at a shopping mall in London, and has asked for 20 white kittens and 100 white doves as well as confetti shaped like butterflies to shower her after she emerges from a Rolls-Royce driven on a pink carpet to a podium where she will wave a wand to turn on the lights. A source says: "We did manage to source the doves that we were going to release into the sky, but the kittens proved terribly difficult. In the end, it was made clear that due to health and safety, there was no way we could have the animals." [Telegraph]
• Brad Pitt declined an invitation to the October 31 Grand Prix Ball Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates — even though he was offered $5 million to attend. He went trick-or-treating with his kids instead. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Levi Johnston "made a big show" of sitting in first class. [Page Six]
• Kirsten Dunst is windswept on the cover of Allure, and inside she says that she and ex-boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal do not keep in touch: "It would be nice to see him," she says. "But we're not good friends." [Us Magazine via Allure]
• In this Q&A, Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke talks about casting Robert Pattinson as Edward, the "electricity" between Rob and Kristen Stewart when they auditioned for her, the sexytimes the cast got into ("You have this hot, young cute sexy cast and you're out of town at hotels. It's going to happen") and her encouraging RPattz to work out: "He's a Brit and they hit the pubs all the time. They don't look too kindly to gyms." She also says that when he first got cast, there were pix of him out and looking like a slob, and fans of the book were upset that he was Edward Plus: "One day he came to me and said, I got this email forwarded to me about how revolting I am. I said, Rob, you cannot read these things. Don't torture yourself. And he said, I didn't. My mother forwarded that to me." [Time]
• Robert Pattinson was at a signing, where "you kind of get 10 seconds with each person and you never really say anything and I kind of got bored of saying, 'Hey, how are you doing?'" So then: "[A fan] said in her 10 seconds, 'What can I do to get your attention?' I was like um, just take your clothes off." What do you think happened? "She stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security. I never felt more terrible." [People]
• Is Nicolas Cage broke because of bad judgment? Or because he lived in a house with bad juju? The manager Cage sued in October countersued last week, claiming he warned Cage not to buy castles in England and Bavaria and that Cage ignored him. The guy claims he told Cage he would need to earn $30 million a year to maintain his lifestyle. But! Cage once owned the notorious LaLaurie House in New Orleans, where a doctor and his wife tortured slaves. According to legend, "Many people have lived there since, but every inhabitant moved out within months or suffered tragedy and death." [Page Six]
• Oprah Winfrey's sit-down with Sarah Palin was the highest rated Oprah show in two years… since the entire Osmond family appeared in 2007. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "Victoria Beckham Loves Sex and Salad, Not Burgers." [Us Magazine]
• Asked if she prefers sleep or sex in an interview with Allure, Posh responded: "Sex! I'm getting into bed with David Beckham every night, so, you know, there'd be something wrong if I said 'sleep.'" [The Sun]
• Taylor Swift is suing a sports bar for using her music without permission. [TMZ]
• Janet Jackson's label is putting a lot of effort and cash into promoting her greatest hits album, because they quietly signed her to a new contract next month. [Gatecrasher]
• Leighton Meester needs a doctor who makes house calls. Don't we all? [Gatecrasher]
• Carrie Prejean has been asking Donald Trump for advice; he suggests: "she should become a major porn star, make millions of dollars, and give it to worthy causes." [Page Six]
• Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is dating author Coerte Felske, a "handsome blond," who will be in Real Housewives Of NYC. [Page Six]
• Will Ferrell is Hollywood's most overpaid star, thanks to Land Of The Lost, which cost $100 million and made "only" $65 million. Surely he is trapped in a glass box of emotion right now. [Reuters]
• Brad Whitford, guitarist in Aerosmith, thinks Steven Tyler might be on something: "I suspect there's a lot more going on than we know about. He has a well-documented history of drug abuse, and I find myself very suspicious. I haven't seen him do this or ... have any personal knowledge, but the isolation is very typical of addictive behavior, and his — what I call — irrational behavior." [Reuters]
• Shaquille O'Neal is curating his first art show, titled 'Size DOES Matter.'" [Page Six]
• 50 Cent has opted for tattoo removal. "I took 'em off," he says. I've been on a few acting projects and they been making me get up… My call time is four hours before the regular acting talent because of the tattoos. I've got a project I'm supposed to be doing with Nicolas Cage, called The Dance, it's a boxing film… when you're a fighter you're sweating and with a whole bunch of make-up on and stuff like that, it doesn't look real to me." [MSNBC]
• Jennifer Hudson will play Winnie Mandela in an upcoming film; she says: "I was compelled and moved when I read the script. Winnie Mandela is a complex and extraordinary woman, and I'm honored to be the actress asked to portray her." Of course, she will also do what she does best: Sing the flick's theme song. [Gatecrasher via Variety]
• Heather Locklear's return to Melrose Place gave the ratings a small boost, so she'd better not end up dead in the pool. [NY Post]
• Sherri Shepherd and MVP are so on. [Gatecrasher]
• Joe Francis has tax problems. Serious tax problems. The IRS wants $33,819,087.14 [TMZ]
• Wait, Faye Dunaway owes $1920 in back rent? How much is her rent? How many months is that? [TMZ]
• Hamish Hamilton, who directed the MTV Video Music Awards, will direct the 2010 Academy Awards. Kanye's gonna let him finish… [MSNBC Scoop]
• Zsa Zsa Gabor is okay, her husband insists. "My wife is not dying — it is ridiculous… he gets all the tabloids and she sees the things and she just smiles. She says, 'Tell them I'm still alive.'" [ET]
• "[I decided to do the Tonight Show because of] how shitty it is just trying to develop comedy right now. How dumb ideas are seeming to be rewarded. How a lot of the networks seem to have basically thrown in the towel on comedy and said ‘We just basically don't know what we're doing or what works,' and we just kind of have more stuff where the dad's kind of a jerk, the mom knows best, and everybody just kind of insults each other for half an hour and at the end everybody says they love each other and tune in next week for it all to start again." — Andy Richter. [NY Mag]
• "I was always aware of acting. I remember watching movies on TV when I was young, thinking, 'Oh, come on, that isn't acting.'" — John Malkovich. [Spectator]
• "I've never seen it and nor will I ever. It's a cult. I don't believe in it." — Miley Cyrus, on Twilight. [MSNBC]
• "After we were done, I was like, 'Wow, America is so poor. Just the towns you come across — all that's there are restaurants and gas stations. There are beautiful stretches of pasture, but for the most part, people live simply. The East and West Coast are so different from the rest of America." — Kirsten Dunst and a friend took an "eye-opening cross-country road trip. [Us Magazine via Allure]
• "Having a girlfriend is like playing whiffle ball. Being married is the war in Iraq." — Jerry Seinfeld. [Page Six]
• "There are females doing it, theatrical and a bit over the top. Lady Gaga, Pink, Christina Aguilera — they all put on a show in the spirit of Madonna, dressing up and creating a theme. But there hasn't been a guy do it for a while. In the '70s and '80s there were a lot of artists that did it but for some reason it kind of fizzled out." — Adam "Glambert" Lambert. [Reuters]
• "That image to me seemed really striking and kind of wild. I felt I looked almost inhuman. It was that whole David Bowie-Ziggy Stardust thing where you think he is an alien. It is a weird image and I liked that it was weird. I am weird. I'm nice. But I'm weird. Maybe eccentric is a better word. I'll pick that label." — Glambert, on his album cover. [Reuters]
• "It's funny because Spanish people have no problem with nudity at all… And English people obviously do have the most enormous problem with it. Little things, like when I saw my father getting changed for swimming, I was traumatized by it… I kind of freaked out a bit. [I would get naked for a role but] I think it would depend on what it is. And I don't think a lot of people would really want to see that. I think it would ruin the illusion!" — Robert Pattinson. [NY Daily News]
• "Luke and I are engaged and we'll get married when I want to. But he isn't even 21 yet, so he can't drink in America, so what's the point in getting married until he can?" — good point, Kelly Osbourne. [The Sun]

[New York, November 17. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

The thing about models is that they are rarely the subjects of long, investigative, detailed magazine profiles, leavened with biographical information about their parents' backgrounds and whatever psychological tells the writer can seize upon during his or her reporting. Models are mostly seen in pictures. They're there to entertain our projections, and that's easiest done mute. It's celebrities who are endlessly, redundantly storied, profiled over and over again until such mundanities as what Leighton likes to eat for lunch and the fact that Angelina has a pilot's license have been entirely too thoroughly plumbed for metaphoric depth. The glimpse-of-fame profile is an essential part of the celebrity-sartorial complex, but the problems with it are manifold. As the celebrity profiles proliferate, the pool of unreported information that might actually be interesting or affecting to a wide audience shrinks. The pool of under-covered celebrities — who are (of course) pretty and (nearly always) white and (duh) thin enough to fit sample sizes in the standard lavish photo shoot — dwindles, too, until we're stuck reading about the Deep Thoughts of reality TV stars and teenagers ad nauseam. And as women's magazines' reliance on Big Cover Stars to anchor their issues grows, the conditions imposed by the army of protective flacks — writer approval, preset no-go topics, limitations on access — become more byzantine. (Hence why Elle spiked even this pretty tame profile of Jennifer Lopez at the request of her reps. Hence why you'll never read about the night Charlize Theron's mom shot and killed her dad while 15-year-old Charlize watched in a women's magazine. You will instead be told that she's really pretty, and much too polite to be thought of as having opinions, or as Vogue puts it, "far be it from her to ruin a perfectly nice luncheon trying to prove that she's a serious person.") Models get talked about as images but don't tend to get covered as people. Celebrities talk all too much, but far be it from them to say anything interesting.

So into this morass of diminishing returns steps Lara Stone, and it is just so weird to read a story that starts off in the standard mawkish key of celebrity profile writing — obligatory meaningless quote from Mario Testino; repetitive physical description along the lines of "naked Venus...austere, Flemish face...Her breasts are so perfect even I found it hard not to stare at them"; entirely too much attention paid to what she is wearing — before switching codes entirely.

What's the longest she has stayed in one place in the past two years, asks Vogue's Vassi Chamberlain, after Stone confesses she has spent seven days at a stretch, max, in her London apartment since moving to the city six months ago.

She answers without hesitating: "Four weeks." Was that on holiday? "No. That was to rehab." ... "I am a complete alcoholic," she says. "It used to be so easy to tell someone, 'Get me a bottle of vodka,' and they'd run and get it."

Okay then! Consider our expectations raised.

In the story — which you cannot read at British Vogue's website, but which people have taken the time to scan here and here — Stone goes on to make various statements which aren't "bold" or "interesting," with all the self-consciousness those imply, so much as they are just affectingly real. She doesn't sound like she's talking from a well-rehearsed script when pressed about controversial industry practices, as can the otherwise clever Lily Cole. Cole recently claimed in the Times of London, "I saw eating problems more at my school than in that industry. I do get that there is an aesthetic — it changes generation by generation. There's always been an ideal, from the Fifties or the Eighties," which is an ingenious dodge of the size-zero question and a very disingenuous thing to say. Stone, who despite her 34"-24"-35" measurements is sometimes considered one of the larger straight-size models, calls herself "fat" and says, "If I could have the discipline to be super-skinny, I would be. I think of dieting, then I eat pizza. I'm a woman, and every woman wants to be skinnier. Unfortunately." Cole, testy: "I think drugs are taken all over the world. And I've never really experienced it." Stone, realistic: "I never really wanted to be that model on drugs, the sort who gives head for a line of coke."

Stone isn't interested in running interference for an industry that treated her with standard disinterest for the better part of a decade before she, at the improbable age of 23, started to enjoy breakout success. As a teenager in Paris, she lived in an Elite model apartment with up to seven other girls. She was not a sensation. "We did 15 castings a day, visiting the same people over and over again. They'd make bitchy comments about us in French, thinking we didn't understand." (Sounds...familiar.) Stone also worked in Japan, where her agency measured her weekly, instructed her never to smile, and contracted her to do up to three shoots a day. Models who got pimples were sent back. Not that Stone is dewy-eyed about model solidarity: she pushed a girl who wouldn't get out of her way at the Jaeger show this season. "I kept saying, 'Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me,' because I had to get to the catwalk, but she just kept posing. So I pushed her. It was only a few stairs." It's not easy to imagine Kate Bosworth confessing to something so human.

"Men don't like me," reports Stone. For all her much-vaunted "curves", she says, "I haven't been on a date in six months." She last dated an investment banker in New York; the end of the relationship coincided with her stint in rehab and her move to London. "I've just started a club with a girlfriend," she reports, "called the We Hate Men But We Can't Be Gay Club."

I Hate Women's Magazine Profiles But Can't Stop Reading Them.

Ones like this are pretty all right, though.

British Vogue [Official Site]
Stone Age [The Fashion Spot]
Charlize Theron At Home On The Range [Vogue]
Time Out: Lily Cole [Times of London]
Behind The Glow [Daily Beast]

Earlier:French Vogue All Lara Stone, All The Time
The 5 Great Lies of Women's Magazines

The video opens with Meester riding around in the back of a cab, dressed like Blair Waldorf going as Lady Gaga for Halloween. Of course, there's a shot of blurry city lights, because she wants to live the glamorous life and so on and so forth.


There's a LOT of sexyface in this video, you guys. If they ever open a SexyFace museum, this video will have its own exhibit. Also, Meester's cab garb is strikingly similar to the outfit worn by Britney Spears in her "Womanizer" video, no?
Oh wait, no, I don't think she's in a cab. Is she in a limo? Someone's Nissan Altima? Why is she posing in the back of the car all by herself? Why is this a sexy video thing? The only people who pose in the back of someone's car, all alone, are the people who are typically 2.4 seconds away from throwing up all over the floor and yelling "Let's go dancing!" even as the vomit dribbles down their chin.


We then head to a club where Meester writhes around on a red booth, dances on various customers, and messes with her hair a lot.


Double sexyface alert!


Robin Thicke then appears to rap, or something, dressed as someone's cool uncle who says things like "vibe" and "energy" all the time.


Here we have SexyFace's cousin, LolitaFace. It is tired. And so am I after watching much of this video, as Meester spends most of it writhing around on a bed that looks super comfortable.


There is a subplot in this video (I think), wherein Meester is really just imagining much of the love she is receiving (I think?! I have no idea), but as I'm not sure what that's all about, I'll just skip ahead to the red lip shot. I think this is supposed to make us think of sex, but all I think of is commercials for Twizzlers and Dairy Queen. I'm not sure what that says about me.


There's a lot of bed writhing, as I mentioned earlier. And also a lot of jewelry, because we're not supposed to forget that this is a very glamorous situation.


And it's not a sexy video until someone crawls across the floor!


And here's the ol' "Looking at the camera in a sexy way while someone kisses me" shot that Miss Martha Haypenny debuted in 1910. Not really, but you know what I mean.


And then there is this.


And I'm pretty sure this was lifted directly from a Britney Spears perfume commercial.


Lindsay Robertson sums the video up at New York quite perfectly, noting that "the Gossip Girl star moves her lips to a song (occasionally), while wearing lots of jewelry and makeup. She also writhes, and is very pretty." That's seriously it, you guys. She's gorgeous and she writhes around a lot. It's your standard pop-tart video, though it's on such an extreme level at times that it reeks of trying too hard, and I almost wondered after watching it a second time if Meester is just messing with us and doing her best Britney Spears impression for a lark.

I get that it's a sexy song and the video is supposed to match up with that, and that's understandable, I guess. The real problem I have with the video is that I've seen it about 8 million times before, and the manufactured sex factor just makes the whole thing seem kind of boring. You can watch the clip here: feel free to leave your own opinions in the comments.

Leighton Meester's New Video Finally Hits The Internet [NYMag]

• Lindsay Lohan is taking legal action against Michael Lohan, who has been talking about kidnapping her and putting her in rehab. Her lawyer says she's seeking a restraining order and may file a defamation lawsuit against him. [TMZ]

• Sales for Chris Brown's comeback tour are pitiful. He used to sell out 20,000 seat arenas, but after tickets went on sale this weekend for 1,000-2,5000 seat venues many are still available. [Perez Hilton]
• At the link is a preview of Chris Brown's MTV interview that airs on Friday (hours before Rihanna's 20/20 interview). Chris says of the assault, "What was I thinking?" [MTV]
• Mariah Carey says she "can't imagine" what Rihanna went through when Chris Brown beat her. "I was very sequestered, as you know, when I first started out and if I were just allowed to be young and with a young boyfriend who's also a star and you know, you're working and you're both — I don't know what goes on," she says. "You know what I mean? So it's like, I wasn't really allowed out of the house, so I can't imagine what she went through." [Us]
• No Doubt is suing the makers of the video game Band Hero because they say they only authorized the use of their likenesses to play three No Doubt songs, but the game has "transformed No Doubt band members into a virtual karaoke circus act" by having them "sing, dance and perform over sixty songs." They're also mad because Gwen Stefani's avatar can sing with a man's voice and perform the song "Honkey Tonk Woman," which has lyrics about sleeping with prostitutes. [TMZ]
• Reps for Josh Duhamel and Fergie deny that he cheated on her saying, "This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity... This story is absolutely ridiculous." [People]
• Britney Spears paid $1.32 million in the past seven months to the lawyers who represented her conservatorship. [TMZ]
• Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are on the cover of Harper's Bazaar (despite him also being on this month's Vanity Fair). Kristen says, "Rob can barely jump rope," and this has inspired her nickname for him. "I call him Flippy because when he does his stunt rehearsals, he flips around," she says, imitating a penguin's walk. "And God, when he tries to run..." She also calls Flippy's singing "heartbreaking." [Us]
• When asked about her romance with Robert Pattinson again, Kristen Stewart told Entertainment Weekly, "I've thought about this a lot... There's no answer that's not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: ‘Okay, we are. We aren't. I'm a lesbian.' I'm just trying to keep something. If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I'd be like ‘Fuck off!' I would answer the exact same way." [Entertainment Weekly]
• Sean Penn's 16-year-old son Hopper Jack won't face drug charges following his arrest last week because police have determined the pills he was carrying were actually prescription medication in his name. [Radar Online]
• Though Winona Ryder recently told BlackBook Magazine that she never got a thank you from Angelina Jolie for getting her the role in Girl, Interrupted that launched her career, Angie did thank her — in her Oscar acceptance speech. [L.A.T.]
• The National Enquirer claims Jennifer Lopez is fighting with her ex-husband Ojani Noa, who wants to release 11 hours of home movies that show her fighting with her mother, "playing sexy bedroom games," and staring at her butt in a mirror. [National Enquirer]
• Penny Marshall has been diagnosed with a brain tumor and secretly underwent brain surgery last week. This story is from the National Enquirer, so hopefully it's not true. [National Enquirer]
• Dennis Hopper says he's being treated prostate cancer with "an experimental thing at USC." He said it's "no big deal" and he "feels great." [TMZ]
• Though Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman say they broke up, they went out to a Manhattan bar on Halloween. "Staff were ordered to keep the fake Jons away from him," said a source. "Someone asked to take a picture but he said he wanted to be left alone. Once the crowds were away he and Hailey looked like a normal couple." [Us]
• Jessica Simpson and Dolly Parton are bonding over their big boobs. Dolly Tweeted: "Aahhh chiropractor... Hurts so good :-) you lug these around and see if your back don't hurt!" Jess replied: "Amen sister :)." [CNN]
• Yet another creditor's claim against Michael Jackson's estate: Atkins Thomson Solicitors in London is asking for $209,204.36 for advising MJ on the sale of Neverland. [TMZ]
• Sadie Frost says of Jude Law, "We're continuing to have a very close relationship and I'm here to support him as a friend. That won't stop. He's a wonderful person and I'll stand by him forever. For all the silliness and difficulties, we've always really cared for each other and we're both a hundred per cent committed to the kids and doing the right thing by them. Everything's fine." [Daily Express]
• The terms of the settlement between Carrie Prejean and Miss California USA have been leaked. The Pageant will pay $100,000 directly to paying her lawyers and publicists, and Carrie gets nothing but the organization's promise not to fight her for writing a book without permission. [TMZ]
• Carrie Prejean was demanding more than a million dollars in her settlement negotiations with Pageant officials, until they revealed that they have a XXX home video of Prejean that has never been released publicly. [TMZ]
• Looks like the lawsuits may be back on. Carrie Prejean's lawyer says she may sue because of the sex tape rumor. "It seems as if someone has acted in an unethical and unlawful manner by even raising this issue," said her lawyer. "We are weighing our options and if this is a breach of contract we are considering suing for punitive damages." [Radar Online]
• Terrence Howard and Taraji P. Henson insist they are not dating. "I've known her too long. She knows what I'm thinking!" says Howard. [Us]
• Frances Bean Cobain threw a tantrum when she found out there was a problem with her train ticket from Boston to New York. A source says: "She caused a huge backup on the line because she refused to pay herself. She was causing a scene and saying her name loudly to the guy behind the counter, but he had no idea who she was. Finally, she got out of line to call her business manager, who paid for her ticket." [Daily Express]
• Katy Perry says she's gotten some tips on hosting the MTV European Music Awards from her boyfriend Russell Brand, who hosted the VMAs. "We're stepping on each others turfs. I've learned a couple of things from Russell over the last months that might not be appropriate for this!" she said. [The Sun]
• Porn star Janine Lindemulder, who is fighting her ex Jesse James and Sandra Bullock over custody of her 5-year-old daughter, says she wants to sit down with Bullock as "two women" because, "It hurts tremendously, the accusation, especially from Sandra... Even more so because we've never sat down and talked. You know, that's the one thing that I wish more than anything, for a remedy for what's happening here, is just communication." [ABC News]
• Liz Hurley has launched a line of organic foods like oat and fruit bars and jerky. "It's compulsory portion control. I've never been able to chop a Jaffa Cake in half and just eat one piece," she said. [Style.com]
• A 27 foot-tall firework-filled effigy of Katie Price will be burned this weekend in England. [The Mirror]
• Robbie Williams says he though he was destined to remain a bachelor until he met American actress Ayda Field. He said: "I thought I was going to be a bachelor ... I was introduced to Ayda and things just changed - she's a wonderful person and I'm in love." [The Mirror]
• David Spade says he doesn't regret resurrecting a scene from Tommy Boy featuring Chris Farley for a DirecTV ad. Chris' brother Kevin Farley added that the commercial is "an honor to my brother." [TMZ]
• Mischa Barton says: "I'm just figuring out what my next move will be and really looking at a lot of different projects and figuring out what I want to do," now that The Beautiful Life has been cancelled. [Us]
• Farrah Fawcett's college boyfriend Greg Lott told Inside Edition that he and Farrah had rekindled their relationship and were together for the last 11 years, but Ryan O'Neal kept him from her funeral. [UPI]
• Jennifer Hudson says she's not done having kids. "Maybe one more. I'd like to have at least one more, a little girl," says Hudson. "I want a girl and then maybe another one. You know, one baby at a time." [People]
• Natalie Portman says of the role of the short shelf life imposed on actresses, "You see people who were stars five years ago and already they're waning... As actresses approach 40, it starts becoming really, really difficult." [People]
• At the link is a short film made by Richard Heene which shows the Henne family driving down a deserted road in a Jeep, and Heene playing the harmonica while a woman dances on the roof of the car." [Radar Online]
• The Kardashians charity boxing event went awry when Rob Kardashian's mask fell off and he had to be taken to the hospital. Kim Kardashian made it out with just a black eye. [E!]
• When Oprah Winfrey asked Hilary Swank if she plans to marry her boyfriend of three years John Campisi she said, "It's not something we're talking about... I don't know. We'll see." [People]
• Ryan Seacrest's production company is developing a show called Bank of Hollywood in which rich Hollywood celebrities will take pitches from ordinary people who need cash, ranging from people raising money for charity to a grad student who can't afford a ring to propose to his girlfriend. "The idea's simple," Seacrest said. "We are giving away tons of money to everyday people to alleviate the stress of today's climate and have fun." [Live Feed]
• When asked if she would like to marry Mel Gibson, Oksana Grigorieva said, "Yes, but right now we're just so happy to be having this child together." [People]
• Debi Mazar says, "Madonna and I have been friends for almost three decades — dear friends... Our children have had play dates, and we will always be friends." [Us]
• Barry Gibb of The Bee Gees says he and his brother Robin Gibb are, "Like a non-violent version of Oasis... The competition between Robin and I is so strong, we both want attention so badly, that it actually brings something better out of both of us. It's like a basketball team, one player is pushing the other to rise to a different level. If I didn't have Robin to compete with, I wouldn't be able to do what I do." [The Telegraph]
• Jeremy Piven's rep says his recent comments on growing man boobs were taken out of context. "[Piven's comment] was taken from a silly Q&A piece that he did for a U.K. [movie] magazine called Empire," said his rep. Piven's rep. "They asked him, 'How much is a pint of milk?' to which he responded, 'I don't have a clue.' He said he used to drink soy milk, found out it had too much estrogen, made a funny remark about growing breasts and that was it." [TV Guide]
• Anti-rape activist Gabrielle Union says of the Richmond gang rape case: "I'm sad more than anything. After googling the gang rape story in Richmond and reading comments on blogs, it just leaves me sickened and really sad. The fact that race and socio-economics have been used to explain away a brutal gang rape...just sad...maybe I just have seen every kind of rapist and survivor...every race, color, religion, socio-economic status group...it's all the same...a lack of regard for violence against women. Tolerated, and in this case encouraged by the mob surrounding the perps...laughing, joking and taking pics." [Shakesville]
• Dustin Hoffman says his favorite memory of the New York Public Library is, "It's the first place I ever got laid... It was in the nonfiction section in 1958." When asked if he was being serious he replied, "I wasn't serious, but she was." [N.Y. Magazine]
• Alec Baldwin said he's heard about less than 5,000 people watching 30 Rock when it premiered in Germany. "It was so low that we didn't even have a rating," he said. "We didn't even get one rating point... We have work to do in Germany." [N.Y.T.]
• Alec Baldwin started a rumor about Julianne Moore guest starring on 30 Rock by saying, "I won't say who it is, but someone very near to us who may be coming on to play my girlfriend for four episodes," while standing near her on the red carpet. [E!]
• Hugh Jackman praised the the two men taking over as Oscar hosts this year, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, saying, "They are both fantastic. Steve actually gave me a lot of funny hints last year ... I rang him and he was really helpful. He is really funny and he knows what he's doing. He's done this before. Alec Baldwin is also a true genius. I think the both of them together have hosted Saturday Night Live like 100 times, so you know they must be funny." [N.Y. Magazine]
• "Living in New York, I feel stronger and more like a woman than ever before. In high school, it was like, what power do I have - I have long blonde hair, you know? But working as hard as I do now, I feel a sense of power and respect, too. And I've learned an incredible amount about fashion on Gossip Girl. Clothes are a personal expression, and my style is as ever-changing as I am: I'm growing, maturing, developing, I'm going through new things in my life, and with that, what I choose to wear changes." — Blake Lively [Just Jared]
• When UK Glamour asked Leighton Meester if she's a "good girlfriend," she said, "I don't know... it's not really the goal of my existence." [ONTD]
• Woody Allen has explained how you can tell whether one of his films is good or bad. "If I look at the film and it's no good, I don't like to give it an aggressive title, I give it ... the kind of title that is low-key and promises nothing, so people are less disappointed by it." As for his next film You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger he says, "Well, that was a very aggressive title, so you can hope that it's a good movie. If I didn't think it was a good film, I would give it a quiet one-word title to deflect attention from it - so now you know the secret." [N.Y. Magazine]

[New York, October 23. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, October 18. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

[New York, October 5. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Rose Byrne's "Glinda" special is straight-up beautiful.


Also in the fairy princess camp: a radiant Drew Barrymore.


I don't remember the last time Jennifer Love Hewitt looked so simply pretty on the red carpet.


Lovely to see Christina Hendricks showcasing her bombshell figure in something simple.


Kate Walsh departs from her usual sleek lines with a gorgeous, subtle Grecian number.


Seriously digging Alex Borstein's fun deco ensemble.


Leighton Meester's is definitely one of the top 3 looks of the evening.
[Images via Getty]


Maybe not my favorite look of the evening, but Kim Kardashian is still glam, and gorgeous.


It's always nice to see someone do sleeves on the red carpet - especially when the results are as elegant as Elizabeth Perkins'.


Lindsay Price took a gamble on a basically safe red carpet; I think it paid off.


The tricky gowns are the ones that aren't hideous or gorgeous, but kind of on the fence. I'd put this Jessica McClintock-y number in a "Meh" category if there was one - but the fit and Vanessa's elan take it into positive territory.


Loving Holly Hunter's juxtaposition of geometric and soft.


Speaking of geometric: I'm guessing January Jones' bold gown will be somewhat polarizing; I love it.


Jennifer Carpenter's old-Hollywood exercise in intricacy is one of the few cases when you don't wince to think of so much handwork going into something disappointing.


Alicia Witt's feathered friend is slightly surreal - but not over-the-top.


If anyone can do straight-up 80's power red, it's Sigourney Weaver.


Chloe Sevigny's dress may well be my favorite of the entire evening. Also, decade.


Jane Krakowski's was one of the best of the many disco-inflected numbers.


As was Kaley Cooco's human Oscar.


Cherry Jones has the height for these statuesque lines.


Kourtney Kardashian looks more elegant and naturally beautiful in maternity than I've ever seen her.


Heidi Klum, of course, wrote the book.


Kat Deeley's natural (which, yes, obvioulsy took 4 hours) hair and makeup are a stunning counterpoint to her goddessy gown.


Sure she's been more glam, but I dig how low-key Sally Field kept it.


While I've yet to see a red-carpet look that adequately conveys Mindy Kaling's awesome, I'd say this playful, pretty frock is a definite "good." Even if it looks painful.


If you have to do "Reagan-era," Debra Messing shows how.


Elisabeth Moss' regal situation is almost too busy - I think it's the rich, subtle color that keeps it in bounds.


Sandra Oh overcomes this unfortunate belt by the skin of her sequins.


As you can see, the metallics were totally out of control - but Mariska's not Jayne Mansfield's daughter for nothin'.


Tina Fey nails it. That is all.


I like Mila Kunis' slightly unexpected wine tasting: you?


And why was Mary-Louise Parker the only one with the cajones for a mini?


Jennifer Westfeldt flirts with dowdiness - it's her radiant smile that saves her.


Amy Poehler: adorable.


Ginnifer Goodwin's gown: youthful, gorgeous, apparently magic.


Julia Louis-Dreyfus knows what works for her and doesn't deviate.

• Someone's been arrested in the Lindsay Lohan home burglary case — and it's not Lindsay Lohan!

Nicholas Prugo, 18, was arrested Thursday in connection with two break-ins: Lindsay's house and Audrina Patridge's house. Dina Lohan says: "Yes, we have found him, God is good." Man, we were sold on that In Touch story alleging that Lindsay robbed herself. [People, TMZ, TMZ]

• Lisa Ling will return to The View as a guest host on October 5. [ONTD]
• Elton John, who was branded "unsuitable" to adopt a Ukranian toddler because he's gay and old, may be able to be the kid's "guardian," which means the mother retains parental rights. The child is not an orphan, though he lives in a children's home; his brother lives there, too. [Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson's family thinks the This Is It movie is propaganda, to back AEG's claims that he was fit and healthy and ready to tour. [Page Six]
• Sad face: They're calling off the search for Jessica Simpson's dog, last seen in the jaws of a coyote. [TMZ]
• Halle Berry: Not pregnant, just full of burgers. [People]
• Although how Halle Berry could be full of burgers and get in to that dress is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, with special sauce, lettuce and cheese. [Daily Mail]
• BREAKING: Amy Winehouse had a lovely evening out with a "mystery man." [The Star, Mirror]
• Mystery solved: The dude Amy Winehouse was with is former flame Tyler James. A fan asked her for a kiss and she said, "Sorry, I'm with my boyfriend." [Daily Mail]
• While Chris Brown is doing his community service, he has three off-duty cops watching over him as a security team. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Garner is a prankster on movie sets. [Gatecrasher]
• Jennifer Lopez wore a dress by Victoria Beckham to the White House and it was… fitted. [Daily Mail]
• Avril Lavigne's marriage is really over. She posted a message on her blog which reads: "Deryck and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together… I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note." [TMZ]
• Kanye West has been invited to the next Friars Club roast. [Page Six]
• Kanye West has been nominated for 9 BET awards. Will he show up? [NY Daily News]
• Kate Gosselin will be shooting the pilot for her new TV show with Paula Deen this weekend. The idea is to have several hosts, like The View, and comedian Sandra Bernhard and Tammy Lynn Michaels have both been considered for the job. [Radar]
• Paula Abdul told a radio DJ that she's going to be producing a show in Las Vegas and is also working on a project with the Laker Girls. [Eva Amurri, strip down for Californication, by all means, click the link. [Daily Mail]
• Samantha Burke, the lady impregnated by Jude Law, is possibly getting £120,000 from a magazine for pictures when the baby is born. [ Daily Mail]
• Someone showed the nuns at Sacred Heart girls school in New York video of Lady Gaga on stage bleeding; she is an alumna of the school. The nuns were not amused. [Page Six]
• Khloe Kardashian and NBA star Lamar Odom: Getting married. They've been "talking about rings." [E!]
• Is Anna Kournikova pregnant? Rumor has it she's carrying the spawn of Enrique Iglesias. [Gatecrasher]
• Ivanka Trump is keeping it classy and not selling wedding pictures, just releasing a single one. [Page Six]
• A man has been arrested for assaulting a security guard who tried to stop him from getting in a car with Ryan Seacrest. [AP]
• Clint Eastwood and Matt Damon just worked together on Invictus, and they will team up again for Hereafter, a thriller from Peter Morgan, who wrote Frost/Nixon and The Queen. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• A journalist asked Spike Lee if Do The Right Thing would get made today. "It would be very hard to make a film like this today," Lee said. "Not because the subject is irrelevant. I don't think the studios would do this. I have to thank Tom Pollock who was running Universal Pictures at the time. He put the weight of the studio behind me for this film and supported me, even when people wanted to waver and divorce themselves from the film." [Independent]
• "Of The Infernal Comedy: Confessions of a Serial Killer, the opera about the prostitute-mauling Jack Unterweger, that opened this year in Vienna and will tour in Europe and Canada next summer, John Malkovich says: 'It's actually a comedy.'" [The Daily Beast]
• Anna Nicole Smith is no longer with us, but she owes the State of California $43,280.66 in back taxes. [TMZ]
• The battle at the box office this weekend will be family-friendly Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs versus horror send-up Jennifer's Body versus the crappy-looking Love Happens with Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart. Odds are, Meatballs will win. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Joe Perry is pissed that Aerosmith had to cancel their summer tour because of Steven Tyler's injuries. "I haven't talked to him in over five weeks. I don't know what's going on with him," Perry says. "All I know is he's got to get his act together. I mean, he and I haven't written a song together alone in the same room in over ten years, so there's been some changes in paradigm of what Aerosmith is." [AP]
• The director of The Cove, an award-winning documentary about Japan's dolphin slaughter, plans to attend a screening at the Tokyo film festival even though he could be arrested. [AP]
• "Miley Cyrus, Kelly Clarkson, Jordin Sparks lack power to carry 'Divas' label at VH1 concert… No matter the age, it seems, all one needs to be a diva in the land of VH1 is to miss a Y chromosome." [NY Daily News]
• RIP Guiding Light. [NY Post]
• Katie "Jordan" Price has been questioned by cops over her claims that she was raped by a celebrity. [Daily Mail, The Sun, The Sun ]
• Blind items! "With their partners away, celebs have been using Fashion Week as an opportunity to play! Which two pop stars made sweet music on Sunday night after the gal gave the guy a private lap dance? Hope his longtime girlfriend doesn't find out ... Which supermodel mended her recently broken heart over the weekend with the very-engaged bassist of a hot rock band?" [Gatecrasher]
• Q: When you auditioned for The Late Late Show, the producers told you that they loved the way you actually held conversations with the guests. A: "Yeah, apparently no one does that anymore. Instead, publicists work out what we'll say and who's gonna ask what. I'll ask you, 'Oh you bought a house?' And you say, 'Yeah I just moved and I got a dog.' And I'll say 'Tell me about the dog, is it named Spunky?' And you'll say 'Yeah, Spunky!' I don't do that." — Craig Ferguson. [Time]
• "It's pretty sad. She should have watched it more closely, though. She should have been more careful." — Martha Stewart, on Jessica Simpson's coyote-snatched dog. [Page Six]
• "Have you been in a Kmart lately? It is not the nicest place to shop." — Martha Stewart, whose products were sold at Kmart but will now be at Macy's and Home Depot. [ONTD via Daily Finance]
• "They took a beautiful man and put poison in his body. Why couldn't they have built him up nutritionally and got ten rid of the toxins? …I hate to be this controversial … but I have to speak out." — Suzanne Somers on Patrick Swayze. [Page Six]
• "I think that the music itself is very, very fun for the most part. I have a few more ballady, emotional songs. But lyrically, it's a little more docile - the music is very fun. I guess it's dance music - it's electro-driven but it's still soft." — Leighton Meester, on her new album. [ONTD]
• "When I read the pilot script, I thought, 'What a fun part this would be to play. How fun would this be?' But then all of these people said, 'It's perfect! You're perfect for it!' [My character] Jeff is a liar and a jerk. What am I supposed to say to that? 'Yeah, I guess so! Awesome!' It really makes me go, 'Wait, what do you mean?'" — Joel McHale on new show Community. [LA Times]
• "It's really, really awkward - any time you do a kissing scene or a love scene it's awkward but especially with this one. Neither one of us wanted to do it and we were both terrified but when you do scenes like that it's not at all sensual or sexy. You're in a room and it's full of these middle-aged crew guys who are like eating their sunflower seeds waiting for you to get it right so they can go home to their kids. They just don't want to be there." — Megan Fox on her kiss with Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body. [Mirror]
• "The Office is not one of those things you move away from. I don't want it to go away." — John Krasinski. [Guardian]

[New York, September 16. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Philosophically speaking: where did Lady Gaga have to go, besides Elizabethan Papagena in community production of Phantom?


So we gotta ask...


Who wore it better?


If this is Jennifer Lopez's comeback, I'm confused about its direction.


The sad thing? Beyonce's slash and burn is sweet and demure in this company.


Whatever people think about Kanye stealing her thunder, Taylor Swift had already scored a total triumph: continuing her reign as best-dressed star under 25.


Alexa Chung, per usual, does her gothic Lolita hipster shtick, and pulls it off.


See, normally, you'd think, 'wow, Jade Cole looks like a preposterous 1991 hot mess.' But tonight? This was, like, the dress code.


Miranda Cosgrove demonstrates the finest in disco ball chic.


And Alicia Keys shoes its manifold creative possibilities...


Kristin Cavalleri, meanwhile, demonstrates the worst in disco ball chic.


Kristin may have The Hills, but this round goes to L.C.


Leighton Meester continues her case as a serious fashion player.


Stephanie Pratt's nightie doesn't seem that bad...and then you reach the shoes.
Apparently she's been walking through a Medieval marketplace?


Tyson Ritter's the frontman of All-American Rejects. Which really makes this too easy.


Whitney Port, now a designer with her own tent show, has obviously gotten too big not just for her britches, but for her bustier-crinoline-Chicago-costume.


Cassie's...getup brings to mind the immortal words of Heidi Klum: "This looks like I sewed it. And I can't sew."


In the 19th century, Whitby, North Yorkshire, was known for its fine-quality jet carving.


Nikki Hilton: your dress offends me. It is ugly and, worse, it is boring. I think disappointing me is punishment enough.


Isn't Amber Rose's outfit elegant and beautiful?


In case you're not sure, here's a back view!


Normally I don't love cape-backs, but Amerie's mini is starting to look really good right about now.


Keri Hilson should really overcome her inhibitions.


Rose Byrne totally wears this oversized floral - not easy, to which many a starlet can attest.


Solange Knowles' scrollwork mini is one of the few actual fashion risks on this R.C.


I'd look sullen too, if my boob was coated in industrial-strength epoxy and I knew in a few hours I had to rip it off.


As Adrienne Bailon proves, two wrongs never, ever make a right.

[Images via Getty]