The Times tells the sad tale of two other immaculately groomed women from the Tokyo suburbs who waited dispiritedly at Heartland's bar for some still-employed Goldman Sachs flunky to whisk them away. Much to their horror, the only men who hit on them were wearing polyester suits and were possibly IT consultants. But even a nice suit might not have sealed the deal: "They don't trust us any more," Noel, an American fund manager tells the Times. "We've still got the nice suits and the job in finance - just about - but these chicks are smart. They know we don't carry the financial guarantees we used to.”

According to an article in the Mainichi Daily News, the result of this economic crash and burn is that the so-called "Roppongi Hills Tribe" may have to seek gainful employment. "In an age when it is no longer possible to associate sweet dreams with marriage, what will be necessary is the resolve to be self-reliant and to not have to depend on others," says the News.

And that's what these former banker-baggers are doing, the Times of London concurs. “Maybe Lehman was the final victim,” says one of the women unsuccessfully trolling the Heartland for a wealthy mate. “I'll just go out in Kawasaki from now on. No rich princes to buy me champagne, but at least I can afford the first drink there on my own.”

Japanese Say Goodbye To Western Playboys [Times of London]
Women And Men Now Looking For Mates With Qualities To Sustain 'Survival Marriages' [Mainichi Daily News]

Jezebel: Why is this happening now? I know Lehman has been showing signs of weakness for a while now — what was the trigger?
Katharine Parker: Similar to Bear Stearns, LEH had a great deal of exposure to sub-prime mortgage-backed securities. Because of this, they were forced to “write down” nearly $700M last year (devalue their assets), which included commercial property and mortgage exposure. One year later, the economy has not improved, housing prices have not gone back to “hey-day” levels, we have plunged further into a recession and the value of these assets had to be written down again by ~$7.8B, which is the largest net loss in the history of the bank. The bank still continues to have a large amount of exposure to these devalued securities. Wall Street, knowing the impact of this write-down and realizing that LEH would have severe liquidity issues forced the shares of LEH to plunge, resulting in the lack of capital to cover these losses.

J: Why did the fed agree to bail out Bear Stearns and not Lehman?
KP: Bear Stearns was the first to go down and they had a first mover advantage in this case. As this continues and the markets worsen, the Fed cannot continue to use tax payer’s dollars to support investment banks that made huge mistakes and that didn’t take the necessary corrective actions. They are addressing the moral hazard issue. John Thain at Merrill Lynch was smart. As soon as he realized that there were going to be liquidity problems, he began selling assets and raising capital. The government is helping the economy in other ways, i.e., making sure there is available liquidity for regional banks. If we continue to operate in an environment where the Fed bails out every investment bank that fails, we set ourselves up to take risk without consequence.

J:: I know the fed is considering lowering interest rates. Is this a bad call?
KP: No. Although some think a cut will signal panic (like we’re not already in a PANIC???), the facts remain clear: we are in a recession, fears of inflation have abated (due to lower commodity prices and labor costs) and financial stresses have intensified.

J: Beyond the employees at Lehman and the other struggling firms, how does it affect people in finance? And how will affect the rest of us — those who don't work in finance or industries directly dependent on finance?
KP: It affects pension funds, banks (domestic and international, all those that have exposure to the credit default swap market), hedge funds, private equity firms and every entity that has business ties to LEH. It affects institutions that have put their money in LEH because they will now have liquidity issues and it is an opportunity cost of their capital. The credit crunch will tighten, which will not only affect lending to buyout firms and companies for acquisitions, but it will affect the average joe who needs a loan to start his own small business. The fundamentals for entrepreneurship and risk are seriously threatened.

It affects EVERY industry, because we need capital to do business and continue operations. In the current environment, access to capital will continue to be difficult for companies that need even a minimal amount of leverage (debt) to operate. Without the growth of new businesses and the expansion or even continuation of existing businesses, we will inevitably enter a depression.

Consumer confidence overall has plummeted leading to less demand for consumer goods / durables and decreasing discretionary spending. The best companies will be those that sell the fundamentals, those that experience inelastic demand and / or have lower-priced substitutions.

The real estate markets will drop even further. With the flooding of unemployed professionals, supply will come on-stream and people will be forced to move out of high-cost urban centers. Additionally, the constrained amount of capital available to homebuyers will prevent any short-term recovery of real estate values to further fuel the economy. We are in a state of devastation across all areas of finance and business.

Last, but not least. This affects the families, friends and colleagues (at other institutions) of the employees at LEH. We are all saddened by the demise of a really talented group of people.

J:: Is there any hope that things will turn around in the near future, or should we start stuffing our 401K's under our mattresses? What can we do to keep ourselves financially solvent?
KP: Never put money under your mattress. Believe it or not, this is a losing proposition because you can always earn a modest rate of return in very liquid investments and your money will be worth less just by the basic rules of time value. Money markets are still safe. I am mostly in cash right now and have done better than most of my friends who have been trading in and out of their PAs (personal accounts) on a daily basis.

The only thing I am going to do with my money right now besides keeping substantial liquidity is invest in U.S. and European fixed income.

To stay financially solvent, make an investment in yourself and your career through education and hard work. I know it sounds old school, but it’s a great hedge. I don’t know what other advice to give when the world is blowing up.

Related: Wall St. In Worst Loss Since ’01 Despite Reassurances By Bush [NY Times]

• In the wake of the Lehman Brothers bankruptcy filing and the Merrill Lynch buyout, the Dow dropped 504 points, or 4.4%. By the way, unless you've got more than $100,000 in one of them or money in the market you're going to need soon (or are reliant on Merrill, Lehman or AIG for your employment), you're probably going to be fine. [Washington Post]
• Which John McCain knows is because the fundamentals of the market are strong. Unless you're talking about its regulatory oversight or structure, in which case he and Palin will totes fix that right away but that's not a market fundamental. [Washington Post]
• By "fundamentals," by the way, he meant your ability to work long hours without overtime or extra pay. [Huffington Post]
• If you buy McCain's rhetoric, by the way, Obama's got a bridge in Alaska he wants to sell you. [Daily Kos]

• Now that everyone has stopped paying attention, John McCain admits that he trumped up the whole "Obama called Palin a pig" bullshit. That's some sneaky maverick shit there, telling the truth after everyone stops caring. [Huffington Post]
• Carly Fiorina didn't like Tina Fey's impression of Sarah Palin, but she did wear a freaking leather blazer for her appearance. Do you trust a woman who wears a leather suit coat in 2008? [Huffington Post]
• Nader predicted it! He predicted it all! Damn you, America for not believing him! There are no differences between Democrats and Republicans! The last 8 years have proved it except for, like, everything! Nader '08! [Politico]
• Sarah Palin had, supposedly at her own expense, a tanning bed installed in the Alaskan governor's mansion. Anyone want to guess what she pays to get her hair done? [Usmagazine.com]

Like rampant fiscal irresponsibility to the greenback! Which leads me to a stupid but maybe-accurate metaphor that brings into account Maria Bartriomo's opinions on tax policy. Maria Bartiromo argues that people who make $200,000 shouldn't be necessarily described as "rich." This is because she lives in New York, but also because she must abide by the paradox that dictates that successful females invest not only colossal sums of money but roughly two hours extra daily simply to avoid the appearance of being "devalued." Of course, that investment, which is not optional, carries with it not only tremendous opportunity cost, which is devaluing in its own way, but the additional degradation of scrutiny and/or mockery re the process itself (Callan's heels, Bartiromo's Botox) and the additional nuisances of the Boy's Club, sexual harassment etc. It almost makes you want to just have kids and freelance and endure the contempt of people like Linda Hirshman, which is all fine and good, but after all that you're still stuck getting your period. So basically you're screwed either way and no wonder we are all programmed to be somewhat lesbian.

Callan, Gregory Out At Lehman [WSJ]
Becky Quick Teaches You How To "Dress Like A Financier" [Dealbreaker]

• Khalid Sheikh Mohammed thinks the courtroom artist drew his nose too wide. He lost a bunch of weight on the Guantanamo diet and totally turns out to be one of those secretly vain terror masterminds. [USA Today]
• This will shock you: Bob Dylan is voting for Barack Obama. Okay, I was kidding about the shocked part. [Times]
• There was this whole movement afoot to strongarm Barry into picking Hillary over some of his other bros but I think Hillary took a step back and said, "You know, this is bullshit, I don't care anymore, if he wants me he wants me," and although the hardest part about doing that is always the realization that he's probably gonna be all "It ain't me babe," I'm glad she did that. [NY Times]
• You just have to accept that in the Catholic Church shit takes awhile, and that if a priest is accused of pedophilia it might take a few years or even decades to remove him. Now, if he mocks Hillary Clinton and it ends up on YouTube, on the other hand, now that is when you gotta sever all ties right away. [Chicago Tribune] [The Root]
• Well this is a new one: alcohol cutting your risk of arthritis. I pretty much always thought gout was arthritis, and that you get that from wine, so this is pretty awesome news, not that I would even notice I had arthritis what with the shakes and whatnot. [BBC]

• What drives the economy and technological innovation and stuff? In some countries it's known "industrial policy." But in this country since the Cold War it's pretty much been porn, so I don't know what this guy is talking about. [Miller-McCune]
• The recession has driven Saks shoppers to Nordstrom, American Eagle shoppers to Aeropostale and everyone else to BJ's and Costco. [WSJ]
• Black people think Obama needs to remember the Sisterhood. This is not a particularly revolutionary essay but I'm linking to it because I read through it the whole way. [The Root]
• The other day I got an IM from my friend. "Could Lehman seriously become the next Bear Stearns just based on fear that it's the next Bear Stearns?" she asked. "Yup," I replied, and told the fear and greed aphorism. But apparently $60 billion worth of "tough to value" securities is another big reason. [Economist]
• Anyway, the big problem is there's a lot of greed, and not enough fear. Let me explain: we are the Fed, and bankers are dudes. We control the population supply, which seems like a pretty powerful position, but they have more time on their hands and thus much more elaborate ways of fucking with us to the point where we're basically their bitch. Anyway, this is called "moral hazard", which is almost as good a name for an okay first novel as The Undatable. [Economist] [WSJ]
• I'm thinking of changing the name of this feature, to something like "Narrow Thoughts" or "Profundities" or something. Deep thoughts, anyone?
• There is probably something totally awesome and life-affirming about being able to scale skyscrapers but, like…nah, I can't really see the point. [NYT]
• Oh yeah and you fucking dykes have sent me some pretty little sums to help get those feminists out of Basra! Why did I never wait tables on bitches like you? That's right, because we were all waiting tables together.