• Model turned cookbook author Sophie Dahl is getting her own cooking show on BBC 2. Dahl says her show will cover on the "emotional" side of food. "It's cooking with an anecdotal thread, irreverent, unpredictable and not without flaw." [Sun]

• Tilda Swinton will be the Spring 2010 face of Pringle of Scotland. Ryan McGinley, who's also behind the current Levi's 501s campaign, will shoot the ads, and a short film featuring the actress. [WWD]
• Target reps denied that Anna Sui's upcoming collection for the retailer was in trouble for its Gossip Girl theme. (Rumors had circulated earlier this week that Sui's clothes were set to be worn by extras in a scene for an upcoming episode, but that executives at the chain were made uncomfortable by the teen soap's debauchery.) The Sui collection hits stores on September 14. [Stylelist]
• And nor, apparently, is it true that Kate Moss is going to be a part of Sir Philip Green and Simon Cowell's new global entertainment company. [WWD]
• Forever 21 is expanding into homewares and beauty. [WWD]
• Three armed men robbed a Cartier store in Cannes and got away — so far — with $20.9 million worth of jewels. [WWD]
• Two biographies of the late editor/muse Isabella Blow, who committed suicide in 2007 after failing several earlier attempts, are slated for release next year. Detmar Blow, her widower, is co-writing one with Tom Sykes, brother of the mostly intolerable Vogue scribe Plum. Fashion writer Lauren Goldstein Crowe is working on another. [NYObs]
• Frederic Bourke, the co-founder of Dooney & Bourke, remains the company chairman even after his conviction on conspiracy charges for his role in an investment group that bribed Azerbaijani officials with hundreds of millions of dollars. The investment group was seeking preferential consideration for its bid for the Azeri state-owned oil company, and although he beat money-laundering charges, Bourke now faces up to 10 years in prison and a $500,000 fine. "This is indeed an unfortunate situation," said Dooney & Bourke's lawyer, Thomas McAndrew. "It's tragic for Mr. Bourke. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family." [WWD]
• Everyone loves falling models. You've probably seen most of these — but there is one nasty spill from a Gharani Strok show we hadn't witnessed before. [Modelinia]
• The Project Runway model spin-off show that the producers have been threatening for ages now is a reality. Called Models of the Runway, the hour-long reality show will air after every episode of Project Runway's sixth season. [SassyBella]
• Amber Rose, who's now with Ford's celebrity division, has two Polaroids on Confessions Of A Casting Director. No word yet on the kinds of bookings she's attracting. [COACD]
• Karlie Kloss, on bagging the campaign for Marc Jacobs' fragrance Lola: "I didn't believe it, to be honest. I was shocked. I was like, 'No, you're kidding me. Me? Marc Jacobs knows my name?!' I was convinced that they accidentally drew my name out of hat or something." [W]
• Doutzen Kroes likes to read the New York Times. And Dutch papers: "I always try to keep up with what's going on in my own country too," said the model. "You have to!" [StyleFile]
• Times Critical Shopper Cintra Wilson, on Marni: "What I like best about Marni is that it gives a fashionable girl a creative direction if men finally dismay her past the point of no return. It provides a high-fashion shelter for those too badly scorched and shell-shocked by the battle of the sexes to return to the field. When you've really had it up to your push-up bra with the unfair sex, there may come a day when you stop waxing your legs and start hand-painting your car, brewing your own tattoo inks and converting your dining room into an abandoned-pet shelter — and Marni will be there for you." [NYTimes]
• Guiseppe Zanotti might be entering the mens footwear market. [WWD]
• Of course Alberta Ferretti has a sickeningly beautiful Italian country home. [FWD]
• Bebe is phasing out all Bebe Sport merchandise and stores. The replacement brand, targeting "value-oriented consumer spending," will be called PH8. [WWD]
• UK retail behemoth Asda's George line is offering deals on school uniforms that start at just £4.50. (Competitor Tesco's uniforms start at £3.75.) Asda's come with a money back guarantee against holes, rips, or untreatable stains — that occur within the first 100 days of purchase. Fast fashion really is a race to the bottom. [ToL]
• Supposedly, Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman's children's clothing line for Ed Hardy is back on. Christian Audigier, who earlier denied the project, told E! that it "should be" happening. [E!]
• Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez of Proenza Schouler even took on the task of finding advertisers when they agreed to curate an issue of the Belgian title A Magazine. "They don't really have a staff when they hand you over the magazine," said Hernandez, "They're just like, ‘Here you go, now do it!'" At the launch party, cover star Chloë Sevigny turned up in a black leather Proenza Schouler jumpsuit. "I feel a bit like a super-slut superhero," she said. [NYObs]
• Simon Doonan: "I think the future of fashion lies in the hands of the consumer. All the press, art direction, hype and red-carpet celebs do not amount to anything at the end of the day if the customer is not on board. When Anna Wintour announced "Fashion's Night Out," I let out a loud cheer. Ms. Wintour is smart enough to understand it's time to swing the spotlight away from the front-row celebs and back into the fitting room. The customer is king…or queen." In the same interview, the Barney's creative director called not having a C.E.O. " a colossal drag." [WWD]
• An auction for bankrupt company Eddie Bauer's assets is taking place this Thursday, and VF Corp has announced its intention to bid. VF owns outdoorsy brands like The North Face, Eastpak, JanSport, and Eagle Creek. The successful bidder is expected to keep the 89-year-old retailer Eddie Bauer in operation. [WWD]
• Levi's lost money during its second quarter because of 3% drop in sales — but it still intends to keep opening new stores. [WSJ]
• In fact, everyone's opening boutiques like it's going out of style. Miu Miu just cut the ribbons on its first footholds in China and Turkey. [WWD]
• And Versace just opened its largest Middle Eastern store, a 6,480-sq. ft. shop in a Dubai mall. [WWD]
• Adjusted for exchange rate fluctuation, Burberry revenues sank 4% on last year during the second quarter. The company has already cut about 15% of its workforce. [Reuters]
• H&M;s June same-store sales fell a larger-than-expected 5%. [WWD]
• Wholesale prices on U.S.-made apparel fell 0.2% from May to June, but this June's prices were still 1.3% higher on last year's. [WWD]

• The inevitable happened and TopShop gave model Agyness Deyn her own clothing line, because she dresses totally '80s and that is so edgy! [Vogue UK]
  
• Designer Yves Saint Laurent is very sick. Pray for him. [NY Post]
  
• No one can pronounce Badgley Mischka correctly, which would give us pause about the future of American civilization if half the country wasn't still saying "nuclear" wrong. [NY Post]
  
• Former Jane editor-in-chief Brandon Holley is spending her unemployment mentoring underprivileged girls and teaching them photography, which, if you'll excuse us, is just "So Brandon!" [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Oh Hova: House of Dereon does prom-wear. This would be a clothing line affiliated with Beyonce's family. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Our favorite least-favorite fashion blogger Lauren Goldstein Crowe - gasp! - agrees with us. The new Louis Vuitton bags are dumb. And she points out that she only saw 3 people the whole time she was in Paris sporting their freebies: Elle editor-in-chief Roberta Myers, The Guardian's Jess-Carter Morley (who 'dat?), and Vuitton stylist Katie Grand, which we're pretty sure doesn't count. Draw your own conclusions. [Portfolio]
• Levi's profits jumped by 23.6% in the second quarter. They say it's because of low interest rates. OMG, you mean it wasn't that groundbreaking collaboration with Damien Hirst? [WWD, sub req'd]
• So our pals across the pond are doing this crazy gala performance thingy for the Prince's Trust which is matching different musicians with different fashion houses, yielding the following pairings: Lily Allen - Chanel, Alicia Keys - Armani, Joss Stone - Calvin Klein, Timbaland - Dolce & Gabbana, Shirley Bassey - Marchesa, and Iggy Pop - Versace. [Vogue UK]
• Owns Gucci, knocked up Salma Hayek, and now owns a big ol' apartment in a former "women's hotel": Francois Pinault has it all! [NY Mag]
• Preview the David Lynch-shot Gucci fragrance commercial! [Sassybella]
• The interim president of Banana Republic is going to be named as the full-time president of the company. Making him, uh, the Dick Cheney of fashion? [WSJ]

• Would you like a limited-edition carrying case with your ninety-pound September Vogue? Yeah, sorry, you only get one of you're an "FOV" — which we think is sort of like being an "SOB." [The Fashion Informer]
  
• Did you know Sting named his daughter "Fuschia"? She just mutilated her Dior gown. "Galliano would kill me," she says. Oh, we'd so happily do it for him. [WWD, 3rd item]
  
• Sean "Diddy" Combs will be airing the launch of his newest fragrance live on YouTube on Wednesday night. And yes: there will be liveblogging. [WWD, 4th item]
  
• Cavalli For H&M pix here. [Sassybella]

• Seventeen is going to do a whole special makeover section with women who have survived breast cancer. Which we think is really cool, but like: their readers are mostly thirteen, right? Um. [WWD, final item]
• More breast cancer-beautifying joint-venturing; buy a bra, cure the disease. [FabSugar]
• Did TopShop head honcho Philiip Greene really manage to make La Wintour laugh? During a fashion show? Eyewitness report, please. [Vogue UK]
• Please do us a favor: Will you read this interview with Elle Macpherson and tell us if it also seems to you that English is not her native tongue? [GlamChic]
• The Gap of France, Zadig & Voltaire, is suing Gap France, saying that they have stolen their designs. Such as: the T-shirt. Good lord. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Betsey Johnson is selling a majority of her label to a private equity firm, which is sort of like the tent dress equivalent of this year's fashion financing world, but Portfolio blogger Lauren Goldstein Crowe is confused. What would a private equity firm want with Johnson, a "grandmother, 65 years old?" Um, and Valentino: such a strapping young lad himself! [Portfolio.com]
  
• The Atlanta City Council is attempting to amend the city's current public indecency law to stop the (twenty year old) "epidemic" of baggy pants and the horrific collateral damage of exposed boxer shorts. Women would also be prevented from showing thongs, sports bras, or any bra straps. We really hope this is a joke intended to provide Katt Williams with material for some epic Freaknik routine, but just in case, the ACLU is already on it. [AJC]
  
• If you have a Platinum Amex you can go to a New York Fashion Week show for $100 and watch the show from a sky box and, uh, eat some lunch, although shows last an average of 16 minutes, so you won't have time to eat much, which we guess is the point. [WSJ]

• Designer Behnaz Sarafpour sent emailed invitations to her Spring/Summer 2008 show in lieu of paper ones to help the environment. [FWD]
• Beth Ditto to model for Christopher Kane. Um, wow. [The Sun]
• Want to look just like Helena Christensen? Eat snake and drink Guinness. [Vogue UK]
• Anna Wintour will not be attending Paris Fashion Week, because she's going to London Fashion Week instead. The world: shocked. [WWD, 1st item]
• The latest celeb Steve & Barry's line: Venus Williams' EleVen. She says the name is rife with symbolism because the number shows how you can be more than your best? Um, whatever. What happened to her Reebok contract, anyway? [WWD, sub req'd]
• Danskin, in honor of its 125th anniversary, will offer key pieces from its "collection" in cashmere and silk. So what do you call a cashmere unitard? Unitarded! [WWD, sub req'd]

• An exhibit of Nancy Reagan's wardrobe? Fashion Week Daily titling its item on the exhibit "First Lady of Fashion"? Everyone knows that the First Lady of Fashion was a Democrat! Jacqueline Kennedy! [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Time to puke: Accessories designer Gina Alexander is creating a line of Jimi Hendrix tribute bags. [Vogue UK]
  
• Further evidence of impending apocalypse: Portfolio fashion blogger Lauren Goldstein Crowe gives a shout-out to our Gawker brethren. [Portfolio]
  
• But don't worry, then Goldstein Crowe swiftly slams both Halston designer Marco Zanini and the Halston brand itself, in all of, like, two sentences. [Portfolio]

• Over at Macy's things look grim. Very, very grim. [New York Business]
• Estee Lauder, however? Kicking some major ass! [Reuters]
• J.C. Penney's is also doing pretty well. They credit lingerie and back-to-school sales. We think this is the most awkward combination ever. Unless you are Humbert Humbert. [WSJ]
• Stupid-thing-that-we-really-want of the day: MAC limited edition blue nail polish. Ok or rather, we want the inevitable Cover Girl or Wet 'N Wild knock-off of the MAC limited edition blue nail polish. Same difference. [Coutorture]
• Stupid-thing-that-we-think-is-really-stupid of the day: The sweater vest. And reports of its return. [FabSugar]

• Teri Hatcher replaces the Olsens as the chief endorser of scary-big overwrought dresses. Can she go back to selling phone service or whatever? She was so convincing in that role. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Siouxsie Sioux is "collaborating" (so sick of this word) on a limited edition T-shirt line. With Urban Outfitters. Naturally. [Vogue UK]
  
• Project Runway Season 2's Kara Janx: Pregnant! Jersey wrap dresses for babies surely soon to be on the way. [Blogging Project Runway]
  
• Are Panama hats really in style? We sorta want one. [Vogue UK]
  
• This could only be a sign that the apocalypse is near: Moe and Lauren Goldstein Crowe agree on something. [Portfolio.com]

• The insane/inane (which adjective looks best? We can't decide) celebration of the Neiman Marcus centennial continues: The retailer has now commissioned 26 designers to create their version of the "future of fashion." Ooooh, will someone will get all "subversive" and, like, print a copy of this month's Lucky with extra zeores added to the prices? We can only dream. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Will someone please explain to us why trench coats are newsworthy? This time: Aquascutum. Vintage designs. A Bergdorf exclusive! Yours for a number between $2000 and $5600. Related: Is an Aquascutum garment just asking for some Starr Report action? [FabSugar]
• The female stars of High School Musical 2 swear they all have really, really different styles and totally respect one another's taste. Just like in high school, when we wore green Puma suedes while our totally different unique best friend wore blue ones... [Houston Chronicle]

• Hilary Swank is the face, or rather the hair, of Pantene's 'Beautiful Lengths' campaign, which raises awareness for cancer and for which everyone's most winsome trailer-park veteran will grow and cut her hair to be made into a wig for a cancer patient. Which is highly courageous for someone who has already once endured the indignity of short hair for one Oscar-winning performance. Maybe someone will get Renee Zellweger to give up food on behalf of starvation victims next. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• The upcoming issue of French Vogue features a fashion spread in which a model plays American Vogue editor-in-chief Anna Wintour in all her bitchy, PETA-offending glory. Is this catty? Cross-promotional? Yes, and yes, and don't forget to add, "totally despicable!" We can't wait to see it. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Poor Julia Restoin-Roitfeld (spawn of Anna Wintour frenemy-in-chief/French Vogue EIC Carine Roitfeld) - growing up in fashion was so hard! [Vogue UK, 1st item]

• With Kate Moss out as the body of lingerie line Agent Provocateur, Maggie Gyllenhaal is stepping in and will be appearing in some online advertisements. Um, because the internet generation has not already seen enough of Maggie Gyllenhaal's intimates? [WWD, 3rd item]
• Coach is debuting a $10,000 handbag. Will Dooney & Bourke be next? Seriously consumers: Save for an apartment, eradicate world hunger, whatevs, you know our deal. [The Budget Fashionista]
• Bitter that you never got a Bedazzler as a kid? Torture your parents by taking their vacuum cleaner to English department Selfridges to get covered in Swarovski crystals. No really! Someone thought of this! [Vogue UK]
• Lauren Goldstein Crowe gem of the day: "One of the things that makes me proud to work in fashion is that it is practically impossibly to parody us." HAH. [Portfolio.com]

• Bill Clinton has begun blogging! Just like us! We wonder if he'll do hungover Friday tomorrow too! [Clinton Foundation]
  
• We've always really liked Craig Ferguson. Now we have to like him less: He's dating Sharon Stone. Anna's heart just broke. [The Daily Blabber]
  
• A judge has dismissed Valerie Plame's lawsuit against the White House in regards to leaking her identity while working as an undercover operative for the CIA. [MSNBC]
  
• Go with us on this: Dinosaurs are sorta like Lindsay Lohan. A slow ascent to power in which they knocked out their other, similar, competitors. And then overnight (literally) crashed and burned. [BBC]

• The story about the Chinese dumplings stuffed with cardboard instead of pork? Not so true! And our theories that Bush has it out for China are further confirmed. [CNN]
• Which is maybe because the Chinese economy is booming? [NYT]
• Mijovi is an energy drink. Bon Jovi is a musician. The latter thinks the former stole his name. We laugh at both. [USA Today]
• Do not ever, ever put the words "Kelly Clarkson" and "suicide" in the same sentence, haters. We momentarily stopped breathing. [ABC News]
• Jude Law's a lover not a fighter. Uh yeah, tell us something that his nanny, Sienna Miller, and his ex-wife don't already know. [E!]
• 9 U.S. casualty reports today pending DoD confirmation. [Iraq Coalition Casualties]

• No joke, we actually snorted when reading this: Levi's is doing a line (see what we did there?) with artist Damien Hirst for a brand called Warhol Factory X Levi's X Damien Hirst, which will debut during New York Fashion Week. Um, they do know this is the same guy who likes to, you know, encrust human skulls with diamonds, right? [WWD, 1st item]
  
• "What Is Wrong With The World?" asks Lauren Goldstein Crowe in the headline of her daily Portfolio blog entry. Her answer: The Proenza Schouler boys got cheated in their deal with Valentino. Man's inhumanity to man: It's a bitch sometimes! [Portfolio.com]
  
• For all you people screaming that "Preppy is back!" — We just spent a weekend in Tuxedo Park, NY: Preppy never died. [WSJ]

• The Christmas shopping season (and its accompanying merchandising schemes) have already begun at English department store Selfridge's. We might throw ourselves out a window. [Vogue UK]
• Phillip Lim (of yesterday's new opened SoHo flagship store) is designing a line for Birkenstock. We cannot wait to see this minimalist go all earthy crunchy granola. [FabSugar]
• Those douchey Anya Hindmarch "I Am Not A Plastic Bag" bags? Banned in China. Because they were causing riots. Yeah, meet the people who are rendering us economically irrelevant. [Times of London]

• A star is born? Halston has at last named its new creative director (and it's not Harvey Weinstein GF Georgina Chapman), Versace senior women's and men's designer Marco Zanini. Good luck, buddy. May the ghosts of Roy and Jackie O bless your journey. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Hermione Granger herself, actress Emma Watson, has been signed by really, really big-deal agency (they rep Kate Moss, yo) Storm — and now rumors are abuzz that she's about to become the next face of Chanel. [Vogue UK]
  
• Maybe we're just tired, but we literally cannot stop giggling aloud at the idea of the forthcoming Karl Lagerfeld: The Fragrance. Top notes of anorexia with an undertone of narcissim! [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Former Cover Girl Josie Maran is taking her name somewhere else — to her own eponymous line of organic cosmetics. She thinks the products are really good blah blah...but they're not going to do any national advertising on them. So, uh, they can't be that good right? [WWD, sub req'd]

• Today's winner for using our (uh, we just decided) word of the day, re-branding!, is Lorac cosmetics! They're "re-branding" themselves as Lorac: The Red Carpet Authority and debuting a color palette developed with indie It Girl fashion line Miss Davenporte. [WWD, sub req'd]
• For the pageant girl in all of us, Freeze 24-7's newest product is sprayed on over makeup to prevent fine lines and wrinkles... and freezing on your pageant-perfect smile? [WWD, sub req'd]
• It's just like freshman year of college all over again! Animal testing is once again a hot issue as the EU's and the US's regulatory agencies try to find alternatives to current testing methods involving animals. The EU has developed 4 alternative tests (out of the 8 tests currently done on animals_, but the US only approved 2 of them. In the meantime, we continue to use our favorite make-up and look the other way. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Gucci designer Frida Giannini is now moving her rebel ways into fragrance, with this fall's Gucci by Gucci being the first fragrance she herself has developed since starting her tenure with the label. Her goal? For it to be the next Chanel No. 5. Don't underestimate yourself, Frida! [WWD, sub req'd]
• Smug central at L'Oreal HQ, surely, today: Their second quarter earnings are up by 10.4% [WWD, sub req'd]
• The performance being held to commemorate the 10-year anniversary of Gianni Versace's death is this Sunday night: "I can already see Gianni shaking the crystal chandelier and directing the ballet," says Donatella Versace. Aw! And we can already see our favorite tanorexic cutting the coke! [WWD, 3rd item]
• Lauren Goldstein Crowe decides that it is her blog that has directed the state of modelling regulation in Britain. Humble! Hey, is the URL "Solopsista" still available? [Portfolio, Inc.]

• Fergie absolutely does not rap about Candie's shoes because she is paid to rap about Candie's shoes. She only raps about brand names she's not paid to rap about, like Bentleys and Taco Bell. She keeps it real that way. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Yves Saint Laurent has been hospitalized and is reportedly "not doing well." But he's kind of a hypochondriac so whatevs. [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Our favorite fashion blogger, Lauren Goldstein Crowe, is not happy. Because she used to be able to get Miu Miu on the cheap, and now, shit is fucking expensive. We get the feeling her press discount might've gone bye-bye. [Portfolio]
  
• England continues to lay down the law when it comes to models: Not only must they be over age 16, but now there can't be any cigarettes or (gasp!) recreational drugs backstage! And blah blah blah they want the girls to weigh more, unionize, go to school, get acupuncture, find spiritual well-being... basically turn them into Mount Holyoke students or something. Yeah, THAT'LL sell clothes. [WWD, sub req'd]

• Badgley Mishka to debut its first-ever swimwear line at Miami Fashion Week. We can't help but conjure up images of intricately beaded maillots... which, frankly, sorta creeps us out. [Vogue UK]
• Listen up boys and girls! Even people who run international ice cream companies can become CEO's of luxury houses one day! [Vogue UK]
• So you know how haute couture means that the garment was hand-sewn and made from a custom pattern for your perfect little body? Um, not so much. [WSJ]

• Americans' chances at getting a fake Gucci bag or fake Chanel sunglasses just decreased, big time. Last night brought about one of the largest counterfeit busts in recent history, with 29 people arrested, $230 million in merchandise seized, and $1 million in cash found and collected. [WWD]
  
• We love J. Crew, but a line of apparel for dogs? Puh-leeze. [WWD, 2nd item]
  
• Jessica Simpson will debut her first fragrance in July 2008. And we suspect it will smell like a tasteful mixture of collagen, hair extensions, tears, and Nick Lachey and John Mayer's crotches, respectfully. [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Nike profits skyrocket 32%. Say thank you, China! [WSJ]

• Not so surprising news: Renee Zellweger is the new face for Saks Fifth Avenue's breast cancer awareness initiative, Key for the Cure. Really surprising news: Renee reports that she wears Juicy Couture "pretty much everyday." So Renee is starving and no better dressed than Paris Hilton? This situation is much more dire than we initially suspected. [WWD, sub req'd]
• The city of Chicago is announcing that it will be staging it's third-annual Fashion Week this year. We have a feeling Oprah will be all over this. [WWD, sub req'd]
• What? Topshop has other designers other than Kate Moss? And what? They are actually designers by trade??? Stop this crazy talk! [Vogue UK]
• Tired Lauren Goldstein Crowe question of the day: "Halston and Harvey Weinstein: Good idea or bad idea financially?" Yawn. Who cares about finances when you have Rachel Zoe consulting on design?! [Portfolio]
• Miuccia Prada goes out on a limb and refers to her designs as "very European." [IHT]

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Barneys, Bergdorfs And The Jewish Shopping Vote [Portfolio]

The four signature styles include "London" for an edgy metropolitan look, "Connecticut" for upscale style and blazer-inspired jackets, "Los Angeles" for "every hip-casual starlet," and "Seattle" for earthy colors and cargo pants. Peaches Uniforms said the new line will be available nationwide in select stores or online and each item will be priced under $25. Now women from the emergency room to dental offices to medical laboratories can express themselves in an array of colors and flattering cuts, and in fabric that's virtually stain proof, the manufacturer says. The C.E.O. of the Dallas-based Peaches Uniforms, Barry Rothschild, calls Heigl a role model for women in the healthcare industry. "Katherine is taking this industry to a whole new level. In the past, the only licensed products for women in healthcare uniforms involved cartoon characters."

Ok, so seriously, we think it's a good idea, but what's up with "edgy metropolitan" scrubs in "flattering cuts"? The classic scrub has enjoyed the best unintentional product placement in, like, the history of the outfits. Julianna Margulies. Christine Lahti. Maura Tierney who reminds us so much of a more attractive Kelly Clarkson. That chick from Bend It Like Beckham who was not annoying Keira Knightley. Mariska Hargitay is about the only actress who would make this fundamentally gross article of clothing any hotter by association. So yeah, Katie, don't let the make those cuts too flattering, yes?

UPDATE: here's a pic from the "collection." Hm. We are underwhelmed. We think that is a good thing for scrubs.

'Knocked Up' Star's New Baby [Portfolio.com]

An executive from a major jeans brand told me that shortly after they opened their first factory in China, another factory opened nearby. It had the same machines that his factory had, and bought materials from the same supplier. The jeans they produced had the same brand name on their label as the one on his.

Intellectual property lawyers and luxury goods executives are quick to point to links between counterfeit goods and child labor, money laundering, and even terrorism.

And also: JC dude, terrorism? Who are you, Karl Rove?

Fakes, Damn Fakes, And Fendi [Portfolio]

1. Hate everything, and
2. Hate yourself.

We dunno if you're a religious type, but there's an easy way to remember this if you've read that part in the Bible where Jesus boils down the 10 Commandments into two easy ones. Only where He says "love", substitute "hate," so it's more like:

1. Hate Yourself above all those things.
2. Hate (the thing you are blogging about) As You Hated All Other Things (you hated before) The first part is really important for when you make really, really dumb mistakes borne of arrogance, like that time we fucked up your name and even had our intern PHOTOSHOP AN ENTIRE GRAPHIC INCORPORATING THE FUCKUP. And look, we hate ourselves so much we're linking to it! How easy was that?

Tom Ford's Store: My Two Cents [Fashion, Inc.]
Love God Above All Things, And Love Your Neighbor As You Love Yourself [A Christian website]
Earlier: 'Portfolio' Fashion Blogger Hates The Word Blog

But then we read the post. Which, like most Lauren Goldstein Crowe posts, has been finely-engineered to offer an optimally-small ratio of "information relevant to the business of fashion" to "information relevant to making you dislike Lauren Goldstein Crowe". And so, we herewith present our first Lauren Goldstein Crowe Award for Ludicrous Fashion Insight Delivered By An Ostensibly Smart Person to .... Lauren Goldstein Crowe! A summary of Lauren's post follows.

• Manolo Blahnik launched a website.
• Lauren Goldstein Crowe "began writing online about fashion in 1996."
• Lauren Goldstein Crowe was emailing Manolo Blahnik workers — plural! — in 1996, at "really cute emails that said THEIRNAMEManolo@aol.com." She emailed them so much she remembers their emails 11 years later!
• Manolo Blahnik offers a "more conservative" selection of shoes in the US than in Europe. No way!
• Lauren Goldstein Crowe lives in Europe!
• Manolo Blahnik is frustrated about the state of his US distribution.
• Lauren Goldstein Crowe knows this because Lauren Goldstein Crowe KNOWS MANOLO BLAHNIK!

Seriously, the only thing that could have redeemed this post is a Carrie Bradshaw reference. And yeah, we mean "redeemed" in the "actually redeemed" sense. Anyone writing about the "business" of Manolos who fails to mention Sex And The City stylist Patricia Field (or, come to think of it, a single NUMBER) is... worthy of a LGC Award. Oh, and also: The first person to unearth an actual photograph of Laurie wins drinks on us. We are really sick of this fucking illustration.
Manolo Blahnik Goes Online [Portfolio]