[Los Angeles, November 14. Image via Getty.]

• While filming her upcoming interview with Barbara Walters for 20/20, Sarah Palin claimed she was "shocked" and "devastated" when she learned of her daughter Bristol's pregnancy, as she had no idea Bristol was sexually active. [ABCNews]

• Lindsay Lohan was reportedly upset after she was asked to pay for drinks at a bar after she "stormed into the kitchen and grabbed two really expensive bottles of champagne." When he bill arrived for said bottles, however, Lindsay began yelling "I don't pay for drinks! This is ridiculous! I'm freaking out!" [People]
• Meanwhile, Jeff Cohen, director of the Long Island charity FREE, says Michael Lohan failed to show up to a celebrity boxing event meant to raise money for people with special needs: "He just wasted everybody's time," Cohen says, "He's just a fame whore. For him it's a publicity stunt, for us it's a fund-raiser for individuals with special needs. He didn't stand up and be a man." [PageSix]
• Ugh, and it gets worse: Elliot Osher, former owner of Scores, says that Michael Lohan once visited the strip club and "and described the kind of dancer he was looking for. We sent some girls over. Funny, they all seemed to look like Lindsay. We ended up having to show him to the door." Lohan, however, says, "No girls danced for me. The last thing I'd want to see is a girl who looked like Lindsay. I don't even look at the magazines where she's done some risqué photos." [NYDN]
• Paris Hilton is "furious" that Kim Kardashian and her family are stealing her spotlight: "Paris is furious that Kim got her start by hanging out in Hollywood with her — and now, the Kardashians have it all, the reality shows, the magazine covers, the big appearance fees and promotional deals," says a source, "She used to command $100,000 for club appearances, but now Kim is the hottest girl — and they aren't friends anymore. [PageSix]
• And for those of you who care, Kourtney Kardashian's baby shower was "a huge success." [People]
• Rosie O'Donnell has admitted that her partner, Kelli Carpenter, whom she publicly acknowledged a split from last month, actually moved out two years ago. [People]
• "I wear these tight black leggings when I run, which I like to think make me look like Spider-Man when he goes evil. But just might actually make me look a bit of a ponce. Especially as they don't leave much to the ol' imagination - sex-organ-wise."- Russell Brand [TheSun]
• Roger Corman, Lauren Bacall, and Gordon Willis received honorary Oscars this year; the Oscars were given out last night, as opposed to being given out on the televised broadcast. [Yahoo]
• Victoria Beckham wants Blake Lively to model her new line of dresses. [DailyMail]
• Whoops! At a concert in Auburn Hills, Michigan on Friday night, Bruce Springsteen yelled "Hello, Ohio!" and referenced Ohio several times until Steve Van Zandt finally told him he was shouting out the wrong state. [NYTimes]
• 2012 took first place at the box office on Friday with a total of $23.7 million in ticket sales. [EW]
• Kelly Osbourne's black Pomeranian is named "Sid, but he's not at all vicious." [PageSix]
• Interested in possible Sex and the City 2 spoilers? Click here. [NYPost]
• Shayne Lamas was busted for DUI last night. "I take full responsibility for my lack of judgment," she says, "I have always strived to be a role model for my friends, family and fans and have never nor will ever condone drinking and driving. I apologize for all those I have disappointed, including myself." [JustJared]
• "I was trying to help this old lady with a big picture she was carrying. I offered to help and she told me to go f*** myself - twice. I said, 'I beg your pardon?' and she said, 'You heard, f*** off'. I was only trying to do a good deed - that's the last time I try and help an old lady." -Liam Gallagher [TheSun]
• "I read the book five months before casting. I read the first 50 pages and I was just like, No! Because I was really fat as well. After reading the four-line synopsis - ‘Edward is the perfect being. He's so witty and beautiful. He's crazy and funny. He'll open doors for you. He'll drive you in his Volvo' - I thought even turning up would be embarrassing."-Robert Pattinson, on showing up to his Twilight audition. [ShowbizSpy]
• "What really kills me - it really rips me up - is when people think I'm abrasive, inconsiderate or ungrateful because I don't go outside in a bikini and wave to the paparazzi. Come on!"-Kristen Stewart [NYTimes]

• Lady Gaga was booed by her British fans yesterday after showing up 20 minutes late to her performance and then having to cut her set short as a result. Maybe they were just saying boo-urns? [TheSun]

• The singer's set was cut short in the middle of her performance of "Pokerface," and though she tried to win the crowd back by adding little shoutouts to England during the song ("I always have pies, chips and mushy peas when I'm here..."), the crowd still booed when the song was cut short. [NME]
• Gaga took to her Twitter to apologize for the performance: "Stage manager pulled the plug because I was 5 minutes over my time at V fest. Show was incredible. Ashame people have no respect for music," she wrote, "My fans were lovely and really deserved to hear pokerface. I love you and I'm sorry. X" [ONTD]
• Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale threw a birthday party for their son, Zuma Nesta Rock, who turned one on Friday. "I'm the chef, and Gwen's more of the party planner," Gavin says, "She takes care of the presents and the guests. I just love to cook for everyone." [E!]
• Anna Paquin says she doesn't mind showing her breasts during sex scenes on True Blood, as it's more realistic that way: "It's like, I'm sorry, maybe there are a lot of women who keep their bras on while they have sex," Paquin says, "I don't happen to be one of them." [ShowbizSpy]
• Hugh Hefner is being sued by his estranged wife, Kimberly Conrad, who claims Hefner owes her close to 5 million dollars. [TMZ]
• Courtney Love is also being sued, by a woman who claims that Love defamed her on the internet, calling her a prostitute and a drug addict. Love claims that she wasn't defaming the woman- she was simply repeating things the woman had told her. [TMZ]
• "I don't ever feel sexy in small clothes. I always feel really insecure. I don't like wearing make-up. And if I have clean hair and a clean face, I'm more confident because I don't feel like I'm speaking behind a mask. The attention, that other people are telling you that you are beautiful, only feeds insecurities and sort of makes it unbearable."- Megan Fox [ShowbizSpy]
• Brody Jenner spent his 26th birthday in the hospital after having his appendix removed. [People]
• "Tough to say. I generally pass out on the couch watching TV and then am startled awake by those commercials for computer-education software with the bald guy who begs you to "try his DVDs."- Wyatt Cenac on his bedtime. [NYMag]
• Milla Jovovich married director Paul W.S. Anderson in Beverly Hills yesterday; the bride wore a "60s style mini-dress." [People]
• Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise allegedly had a hand in designing the new uniforms for the Church of Scientology: "The scarlet-lined black capes with skirt and trouser suits are almost identical to the sort of clothes favoured by Tom and Katie, if a little more vampire-themed," says a source, "They gave the new designs the thumbs-up, along with church leader David Miscavige who had overall approval." [DailyMail]
• Johnny Depp is set to play "lovelorn vampire Barnabas Collins" in a planned three film franchise based on the 60s cult show Dark Shadows. Tim Burton, naturally, is set to direct. [DailyExpress]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are reportedly getting ready to spend 45 million dollars on a "love nest" in France. "They want to make sure this very romantic property becomes the love nest of all love nests," says a source, "Brad is looking into local schools for the kids, and both he and Angelina are improving their French." [ShowbizSpy]
• "My stylist tries to find things that are not maternity clothes, so I've been wearing a lot from The Row, by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I love their clothes," said Klum. "Marc Jacobs too. You just buy things in a size 10 – when you're doing a show on fashion, you still have to bring it on."-Heidi Klum, bringing us the headdesk quote of the day. [ShowbizSpy]
• Actress Amy Landecker, who is starring in an upcoming Coen Brothers film, set in 1967, had to get a special wig made for her full-frontal nude scene in order to match the times: ""I guess women back then didn't do the whole Brazilian thing, so they had to get a wig for me made," she says, "I was a little self-conscious because I thought the wig was too big, but so long as everyone knows it's not mine, that's OK." [PageSix]
• Oasis were forced to pull out of their headlining gig at the V festival tonight after Liam Gallagher lost his voice. [TheSun]
• "Orestes [Arcuni], the young man who played the bellboy, was fantastic — he was really, really good. He's straight, and I told him, 'Close your eyes and just pretend I'm Christie Brinkley.'"-Mad Men's Bryan Batt, who plays Salvatore Romano, on his sex scene in the season premiere. [PageSix]
• Amy Winehouse's mother, Janis, says there's no way her daughter is getting back together with estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil: "He's bad news. As far as we're concerned the divorce is still going ahead at the end of the month." [Mirror]
• "Life couldn't be better, even if I was standing on that beach out there. I'm so good I almost need another one of me to be any better."-Ashton Kutcher [ShowbizSpy]
• "[I've shot] a lot of time with John. We have a really good relationship. I'm so glad that they're showing two people of color with, like, a really ... loving and nurturing relationship. I haven't really seen that on TV, and certainly not in an interracial relationship, very loving and sweet in a genuine sort of way."-Gabrielle Union on her onscreen relationship with John Cho in the upcoming series Flash Forward. [SciFiWire]
• Canadian police have intensified their manhunt for murder suspect and former Vh1 reality contestant Ryan Jenkins. [Yahoo]
• "I think about Bogey a lot, but I don't say, ‘Oh I wish…' I don't think that way. If you live that way, you lose today, and I feel that today is very important. It's the only thing that matters, really. Just to see if you are going to make it to tomorrow."-Lauren Bacall [ONTD]

• Video: Samantha Ronson peels out of a Vegas club parking lot. A minute later, Lindsay Lohan emerges, saying, "Did she leave? She fucking left? Where's my car? I want my fucking keys now." [TMZ]

• More on this in Midweek Madness, but: Brad Pitt! And the nanny?!?! "Angelina flew into a jealous rage when she walked past the open bedroom door of 8-month-old twins, Knox and Vivienne - and didn't like what she saw! And it's not surprising, for Brad was on the bed, rubbing the back of a pretty young nanny! Angie got so mad she slapped Brad and fired the girl on the spot!" [Star]
• Speaking of Brad and Angie, E! donated $250,000 to the Jolie-Pitt Foundation last year. They probably thought it would get them not-snubbed on the red carpet; the money went to Brad's Make It Right Foundation in New Orleans and three different UN organizations working in Darfur. [Fox 411]
• George Clooney got drunk and was seen stumbling back to his hotel in St. Louis. [Gatecrasher]
• Hmm, Sean "Diddy" Combs says he did Chris Brown and Rihanna a "favor" by letting them stay at his house. "It's my house, and I'm allowed to give my house to whoever I want to give my house to," Diddy told Ellen. "I don't cast a stone – cast judgment on anybody. So, if friends ask me for a favor, then I'm going to be there for a favor as long as I know the energy of the favor is positive." He also said: "I don't think it's right for anybody to hit anybody." [People]
• The father of Chris Brown's manager, Tina Davis, says of the speculation that Chris and Tina were having a romantic relationship is just" old rumors." [E!]
• Hey, guess who's not going to the Kids' Choice Awards? Chris Brown. [People]
• Miley Cyrus says she's not ready to move in with her 20-year-old boyfriend: "I love him to death…but no…[Justin] is so smart, but just like, everything has to, like, go where it's supposed to go and if it doesn't, I get like really frustrated." Uh, what? [Page Six]
• So on Dancing With Stars, Lil Kim gave her former fellow inmates a shoutout. The Scoop asks, "Is it possible for inmates to vote for Dancing With the Stars, but not for the president?" A spokesperson from prison says: "The inmates cannot dial toll-free numbers." And there's no internet. So. [MSNBC Scoop]
• This piece, titled "Octomom Spurs Media Madness" is about how Oprah and Dr. Phil saw ratings jump with Nadya Suleman-themed shows. [Variety]
• Oh, of course TMZ's Harvey Levin has seen the tape of Nadya Suleman giving birth. Jeez. He says the "friend" filming was "annoying the doctors and nurses by getting in the way." [TMZ]
• Holy crap: PETA vice president Dan Mathews shook hands with Anna Wintour. [Page Six]
• The French are mad at Carla Bruni for showing up at a Mexican state dinner wearing "a dazzling array" of diamonds — her husband, President Nicolas Sarkozy, was in Mexico to discuss the world recession. Anyway, they're calling her Marie Antoinette. [Gatecrasher]
• There's an interesting interview with Katy Perry on Esquire's site, and at the top of the web browser frame are the words "Katy Perry Naked - Hot Pics Of Katy Parry[sic] Topless." She is neither naked nor topless. [esquire]
• Someone somewhere claims that Mischa Barton didn't want to audition for the new Melrose Place but to just be given a role. In the end she had to go through the casting process like anyone else, sigh. Tough times! [Perez]
• Meanwhile, word is that Ashlee Simpson is doing Melrose because she wants something stable so she can be close to her baby. [People]
• The American Idol "dialing disaster" was averted, hopefully. You know Anoop's original phone number was a sex line, right? [People]
• Geri Halliwell has said ciao to her Italian fiancé. [The Sun]
• Does Amy Winehouse want to work on a TV quiz show? And more important: Wouldn't you watch? [The Sun]
• Amy Winehouse has been updating her Facebook page to say things like "Nothing is worth as much as Blake," and "Where's my oblivious Blakey Boy?" For some reason, this is "news." [The Sun]
• "Hundreds of women in skimpy two-pieces will gather Saturday on the shore in Miami Beach and spell out the word C-O-S-M-O for an aerial photograph to be featured in the August issue." For Cosmopolitan, that classy publication. [Page Six]
• Hulk Hogan needs cash. His lawyers are trying to get some assets unfrozen; the Hulkster had back surgery and won't be able to work for awhile. [AP]
• Q: Are you busy? A: I'm trying to be busy. It's not so easy. Everyone thinks I'm dead. — From an interview with Lauren Bacall. [Houston Chronicle]
• Oy: Matt Lucas, co-creator of Little Britain, is working on a Jewish sitcom. [Telegraph]
• Jade Goody, the Brit celeb diagnosed with cervical cancer and given weeks to live, has left the hospital to be home with her husband and kids. [BBC News]
• Sir Paul McCartney's show in Las Vegas is already sold out, sorry. Tickets were gone seven seconds after going on sale. [Mirror]
• Blind item: "Which Celebrity Apprentice was such a boozebag behind the scenes that all alcohol had to be removed from the set?" [Gatecrasher]
• "I wasn't, quote, 'dropped' from the movie. I resigned from the movie because I didn't think I had enough time to achieve the look of the wrestler who was on steroids, which I would never do." — Nicolas Cage, on The Wrestler. Then he said: "The movie was written for Mickey. And, for whatever reason, they couldn't get the financing for the movie back then."
• "Fortunately I haven't had any break-ups. This is my first relationship. I'm very, very happy, that's all I'll say. We were together for a really long time before we got married, we were in no rush." — Beyoncé. [The Star]
• "I always wanted to suspend from the ceiling in a twirling banana. I'm going to be inside the banana. So the banana drops into a fruit bowl with the other sparkling, glorious fruit, and their tops pop off and dancers come out and help peel me out of the banana. I have a fascination with fruit… It's Lucille Ball meets Bob Mackie. It's about innuendo. I want everybody to get the joke, but I want them to think about it for a minute." — Katy Perry, on her persona. [Esquire]
• "If things happen in the press that are hard to deal with or you give in to that awful temptation to occasionally Google yourself and be mortified at what people can write about you. It's hard to ignore it. Keira will phone me up. She's like, 'I'm thinking about doing it.' I'm like, 'I am, too, but don't do it.' And we'll kind of talk each other out of it." — Sienna Miller, on her friendship with Keira Knightley. [Mirror]
• "My mom thought it was cool that if you got a business card that said 'Taylor' you wouldn't know if it was a guy or a girl. She wanted me to be a business person in a business world." — Taylor Swift. [Rolling Stone]
• "That one kinda hurts, because I don't have any rights to participate in it at all. It was done at a time when I was dirt poor so I had to sell everything when I sold the script, so that one hurts a bit." — Wes Craven on the remake of Nightmare On Elm Street. [The Star]
• "The past year has obviously been very difficult for me. Yoga has really helped me turn it into a huge learning experience. I'm working hard to take what I went through and turn it into something positive. Yoga helps me focus." — Ashley Dupre, former call girl of former Governor Eliot Spitzer. [Page Six]
• "My feeling about the movies is that most of them are terrible. If you don't have a decent script and a decent director, forget it. That's why I thought the Benjamin Button movie was so encouraging. I'll forgive anybody anything if they have talent. What I find most disconcerting is that people in the profession are not creative but only interested in money, which is what this country is most about. It doesn't appreciate talent. … For eight years we had a moron in the White House who didn't even know what art meant." — Lauren Bacall. There are more quips in the interview! [Houston Chronicle]

• Tina Turner vs. Aretha Franklin! Last week, Tina was asked to comment about that moment when Beyoncé called her "The Queen" during the Grammys, and Aretha got upset. Tina said: "[Aretha's] the queen of soul, and I'm the queen of rock 'n' roll. There were so many kings and queens there that night. Her ego must be so big to think she was the only one. That's how queens are!" Aretha says: "I never figured her to resort to tacky press just to sell a few tickets. I really had put her in a different class — higher than that." Tina and Aretha have never met. [USA Today]
• Angelina says Brad makes traveling with kids easy! "After the flight from Europe, we were all suffering a bit from jetlag. Although we went to bed early, [the kids] were up at 4:30 a.m. goofing around," she says. "Brad took care of things. He just said, 'Go back to sleep, you have to work tomorrow,' and then went to the living room with the kids. He's an amazing father: totally devoted." She also says of the twins: "They're totally sweet. They already have completely different personalities. Knox is more the quiet one, very relaxed, while Viv is a little more aggressive and loud. Knox looks more like Brad and Viv more like me." [People]

• More from Angie: She talks about fate, a theme in Changeling: "When I met my son Maddox, I went to Cambodia and left feeling I'd left something behind. I went back on a humanitarian mission and I felt, 'My son's here.' It was the strangest feeling. I woke up that morning thinking, 'They're going to introduce me to my kid today and I wonder how I'm going to feel.' And the moment I saw Maddox I knew I was his mother. I can't explain it." [Pop Sugar]
• Angelina also says Brad convinced her to get knocked up: "I think one of the life changing things that he did, one of many, is that I was absolutely never going to get pregnant. I never felt that it was the right thing to do. I suppose I just looked at him and loved him and just felt open to (getting pregnant). I suddenly wanted to. It's one of those things you can't explain." Also: "I'm with a man who's evolved enough to look at my body and see it as more beautiful, because of the journey it has taken and what it has created. He genuinely sees it that way. So I genuinely feel even sexier." [People]
• Speaking of Brad, one Katrina survivor says: "I thank God for Brad Pitt. I told him how much I appreciate all that he's done for me and my family." [CNN]
• That thing Britney has been working on is a documentary for MTV. Called For The Record, she uses it to talk about her past erratic behavior: "I sit there and I'll look back and I'm like: I'm a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?" The film airs Nov. 30, two days before her album drops. [People]
• It's official: Whitney Port has her own reality show, The City. It will air in the spring. In it, she works for Diane Von Furstenberg, reunites with a best friend from her past and meets "a guy she's head-over-heels for." Where's the part about being super stressed out and living in a hideous, tiny apartment? That's sooo New York. [ONTD]
• Whitney says: "I am thrilled and honored to be in New York City." [People]
• Josh Brolin speaks out about his July arrest in Shreveport: "I don't know exactly what happened. I do know that there was no fight. None. Zero. I do know that I was Maced, and I do know that somebody else (Jeffrey Wright) was Tasered …. There was no defiance. There was no struggle. There was no fight. There was no resistance." He also says: "I have never ever, ever, ever, ever seen an escalation of paranoia and abuse like that…ever. And I know a lot of cops. And everybody knows I have a checkered past and I've been in situations which are kind of tough. I've never ever been treated like that by any kind of police… ever." [USA Today]
• As previously reported, Travis Barker is eating meat for the first time in 25 years to help with his recovery. He says: "I need protein from food rather than just protein supplements. I changed my diet. I would do anything I possibly could if they said like, 'There's a possibility you might heal faster if you do eat meat or just change your eating habits.' So I did. I don't regret it at all, I feel so much better." [ONTD]
• Great Depression survivor Jerry Stiller: "If you loved Roosevelt, you will love Obama." [NY Mag]
• Lindsay Lohan needs to give a deposition in a case filed by Sam Ronson, but she doesn't want a transcript or videotape to be on public record. [AP]
• Joe Son, who played shoe-tossing villain Random Task in Austin Powers is being accused in a gang-rape case going back 17 years in California after his DNA matched evidence from the file. The details are gruesome. [NY Post]
• Breaking news: Madonna is a diva. [Page Six]
• OMG if Guns N' Roses actually releases Chinese Democracy this year, everyone in America will get a free can of Dr. Pepper. [Page Six]
• Charlize Theron is being sued for breach-of-contract by Swiss watchmaker Raymond Weil. Charlize was paid about $20 million to be the new face of Weil watches and she was to wear its timepieces exclusively from October 2005 to December 2006. But! She was the face of Dior perfume at the same time, and wore a Dior watch to a press event in Austin, Texas on March 14, 2006. So: Weil wants their money back. [People]
• Dancing With The Stars champ Cheryl Burke says she's endured vicious comments from tabloids and bloggers about her weight after gaining about five pounds over the summer. She still fits into her size 4 costumes and clothes, but she's cried over the harsh words. "I know I'm not fat, but when people keep telling you that you have to think about it. It's hard. I've always had that naturally curvy body since I was 11 years old." [ABC News]
• Cheryl also says: "I want kids or women out there to realize you don’t have to be anorexic to be beautiful." [People]
• Um, Woody Allen's Upper East Side apartment doesn't have any huge portraits of Scarlett Johansson in it, but it does have "creepy pedophile stuff": paintings of Mickey and Minnie Mouse hang in the living room. [Jossip]
• Janet Jackson's almost recovered from her undisclosed illness and is "excited" to go back on tour. [People]
• I don't even want to talk about Lauren Conrad's new $113,000 Audi R8 sports car or how the rich get richer. [Perez Hilton]
• Trouble in paradise for Avril Lavigne and rocker husband Deryck Whibley? [Perez Hilton]
• Actress Gabrielle Union and basketball star Dwyane Wade: It's on! [StereoHyped]
• The Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center will honor filmmaker Gus Van Sant for his upcoming bio-pic Milk. [UPI]
• John Cusack's stalker refused a plea deal, so she'll stand trial. She faces four years in state prison if convicted. [CNN]
• Ugh, in this never-ending story, Christie Brinkley has filed a restraining order against Peter Cook. [People]
• Peter Cook says, "There was no temporary restraining order issued against me." [Us Magazine]
• Shirley Manson says Butch Vig is working with Green Day on their new album. [Rolling Stone]
• Everybody say hey…oh…hey! Naughty By Nature has reunited! [ONTD]
• The MTV show in which Peaches Geldof is made editor of a new magazine sounds awesome: She makes rude comments about the editorial staff, makes assistants weep and earns the nickname Pineapple, because she is spiky and sour. [The Sun]
• Russell Crowe wants a posse of children. He said: "I want 17 or so kids. I say to my wife, 'Imagine having a daughter! A little you running around!' She just smiles and nods and says 'Yeah, yeah... no.' " [Sydney Morning Herald]
• According to this article, "Boy George is off the drugs, off the booze, and seeking solace in conversations with God." [Independent]
• Celebrity Rehab is coming back: Look for Jeff Conaway, Sean "son of Rod" Stewart, Tawny Kitaen, Amber Smith, Steven Adler of Guns N Roses, Rodney King, and American Idol reject Nikki McKibbon. [Perez Hilton]
• There's a new Black Eyed Peas CD in the works. Look for lots of digital stuff: Will.i.am thinks that this Christmas is the last year stores will actually carry physical content. [Perez Hilton]
• Hot lunch! There's a Fame remake in the works. [Reuters]
• Jude Law's new ladyfriend posed in a lesbian magazine. First, who knew he was dating a black model? Second, so what if she's topless in a gay mag? [This Is London]
• America's Next Top Model spinoff called Operation Fabulous? Starring the Jays? Fierce! [Yahoo News]
• Is Hugh Hefner gonna replace Holly Madison with 19-year-old twins? [The Sun]
• Whoa, the twins have mug shots and rap sheets. Does Hef know? [The Sun]
• Smarty-pants Emma Watson was seen touring Harvard and Yale. [Perez Hilton]
• "If I am around my friends, even if they are a bit older, I am a 14-year-old, I act like a 14-year-old. [I feel] maybe 17, [when I talk about] filmmaking and all this cultural stuff, but then when I am with my friends I feel like a kid again." — Saoirse Ronan, of Atonement and the new film City Of Ember. [Yahoo News]
• "I've been a hockey fan since I was fresh out of the womb, to be honest, It would have been hard not to be in my family since we're all hockey fans. I played street hockey a lot. Most Canadians learn how to skate when they're 2 years old. I was one of those kids, so I skated a lot on my figure skates and my hockey skates." — Alanis Morissette, who is participating in the NHL Face-Off 2008 festivities. [People]
• "So now, in an attempt to save his campaign, they’re talking about coming back. You see what I’m saying? So we said, 'Sure, we would love you to come back.' And even on the phone, he said, 'I’ll bring…Sarah.' But they’re being squirrely. Politicians can be squirrely. Because we have a date picked. We do this show every afternoon at 5:30. He wants to do the show at 5. So one –- we have no guarantee he’s going to show up, period. And we’ve kind of already rearranged our schedule on his behalf to save the economy, right? By getting that big-headed kid in here to talk about the politics. You know what I’m driving at? I just don’t know if we can trust him. And by the way, I don’t need to remind you that the road to the White House runs right through here." — David Letterman, on John McCain. [LA Times]
• "Tom Cruise is a maniac. I can't understand the way he conducts his life." — Lauren Bacall. [NY Post]
• "We have a high-profile family, but I don't want my children to be scared when we have to quickly get into the car because some person is running at us with a camera or something. It is a fine line of wanting them to be aware of strangers but not making them afraid. I suppose that, like with everything with children, it's just communication and being honest with them. I'm just a mom and I'm very grounded by my family. I'm very happy, and I'm so lucky. The world can like me, hate me, fall apart around me, and at least, you know, I wake up with my little kids and I'm happy." — Angelina Jolie. [Pop Sugar]

Related: New Research Dispels Myth That Cigarettes Make Teenage Girls Thinner, But Smoking May Stunt Growth Of Teenage Boys [Science Daily]
Earlier: How To Market Death To Women: Make It Sexy, Make It Pink

But hey, remember? She's not really an heiress or a model — yet! She's getting there. Explains the story: "Enterprising Brooke uses Photo Booth on her iBook to take pictures of herself, in order to critique her own technique." (Hey, we've done that!)"I can see my different expressions and how I look from different angles...If I want to look flirty, I think of my boyfriend" — a college lacrosse player! — "If I want to look sad, I think of my dog, Chip, who we had put to sleep last year." Aw. She's now signed to Major Model Management — a real thing! I Googled! — and we'll surely be seeing more of her (or like, ha ha, less of her) in the coming months. And I can't think of a more worthy candidate for the newest spot in that ever-expanding room of the collective pop cultural psyche we reserve for talentless blonde dilettantes from moneyed suburbs, can you? Her name is Brooke Bogart!