Interestingly, MacDonald doesn't fully parse the 20-25% statistic (Side note: It's been twenty years: Doesn't a new study seem to be in order? And does 20-25% sound like an over or under-estimation?) but instead descends into a Laura Sessions Stepp-like rant against drunk sluts. "In all these drunken couplings, there may be some deplorable instances of forced and truly non-consensual sex. But most campus 'rape' cases exist in the gray area of seeming cooperation and tacit consent, which is why they are almost never prosecuted criminally." Ah yes, the old "gray rape" defense! MacDonald ends on an even more damning note: "Young iconoclasts can take up another discredited idea: College is for learning. Fighting male dominance or catering to the libidinal impulses released in the 1960s are sorry substitutes for the pursuit of knowledge." If only young women were at the library studying on Saturday nights, MacDonald seems to be saying, then this rape nonsense wouldn't be such a problem!

[Image via The Daily Dose Book Nook.]

What Campus Rape Crisis? Promiscuity And Hype Have Created A Phony Epidemic At Colleges. [Los Angeles Times]

Earlier: Cosmopolitan's Date Rape Panel: There Are No Shades Of "Gray" When Vomit Is Involved
'Cosmo' Wonders: Is It Rape If You Had Too Many Jaeger Shots To Remember It Anyway?

Laura Sessions Stepp was the first to speak at any length, and she basically rehashed the article she had written in Cosmo peppered with some of her usual anti-hook-up propaganda. Blah, blah, women should be dating and not just having casual sex, blah, blah, there wouldn't be so much assault if they had real relationships.

Two of the three men on the panel, Neal Irvin, the National Director of Men Can Stop Rape and anti-violence activist Joe Samalin, focused their commentary on the need to educate men. "The way we socialize men to think about sexuality is the reason they're confused about gray rape," said Irwin. "We're taught that men are the seekers, women are the gatekeepers." An interesting point, but neither Irvin nor Samalin gave concrete examples on how to help educate or socialize the men in question.

Linda Fairstein, the former chief prosecutor in the Manhattan D.A.'s Sex Crimes Unit, was the only commentator who said anything remotely useful in terms of defining gray rape. "There is no such thing as gray rape in the criminal justice system," Fairstein explained. If a woman is blackout drunk — ie she is actively engaging in behavior but not creating new memories — rape will be nearly impossible to prosecute. "I would never have said yes when I was sober," Fairstein said, "will not stand up in court."

"Men are responsible," Fairstein continued. "They shouldn't be having sex with wasted women. Vomit should probably be a red flag... But teaching responsibility to young women is just as important. You don't have to drink eight drinks. You don't have to get blotto."

After the panel, Samalin suggested to me that men should refuse to have sex with any woman who has been drinking. "Even if you've been dating for three years," he said solemnly. Because that's a realistic expectation! Samalin's attitude was my issue with the whole experience. Every panel member vigorously agreed that when a woman says no, a man should listen, regardless of how quietly she says it or how intoxicated she might be. But the messier issues — what if she says no, but then consents later, or what if she says no while she's taking off her panties — were either not addressed or glossed over completely. Incidentally, I learned that in Maryland and North Carolina, once penetration has begun, a woman cannot rescind her consent. Duke sorority sisters, please take note.

I tried to ask Cosmo EIC Kate White what she thought about the gray rape discussion but when I told her I was from Jezebel, she muttered something about needing to deal with logistics and scurried off. Maybe she was aware of the irony that Cosmo — the magazine that, just this month, is suggesting its readers learn to "Tease Him into a Frenzy!" and "Be a Jealous Bitch!" — was hosting a discussion about the deeply conflicted nature of young women's sexual identity. Or maybe she was just afraid we'd tell everyone how airbrushed her letter from the editor photo is.

Earlier: 'Cosmo' Wonders: Is It Rape If You Had Too Many Jaeger Shots To Remember It Anyway?
Related: New Yorkers: Come Protest "Gray Rape" Panel This Morning! [Feministing]

But then in Israel I saw this other girl who used to hook up with him and she assured me he remains a douchebag, only now one that practices medicine in New York. Anyway, I sure hope he saves some lives, and I remember that sexual experience a little more vividly than most of the consensual sexual experiences I've undergone in a similar state of intoxication, but neither sentiment makes it RAPE, does it? It's something, "date rape" I guess, but it's not rape unless I say it was, right?

All of which is a poignant, personal way of alerting you to the fact that Cosmo has come up with a new name for this kind of nonviolent collegiate date-rape sort of happening: gray rape.

And some feminists are angry, and they've launched a letter-writing campaign about it, though if you're reading Cosmo for purposes other than to revel in its unique special brand of inanity you have bigger issues with your sexual identity than what to call that time you fucked that guy you didn't really want to fuck. I'm not sure what to think about any of this, because while Laura Session Stepp (the writer of the Cosmo story) is a tool, reading the individual stories of "gray rape" victims that so closely mirrored my own — they got too drunk! they said no, but then they passed out! when they realized they were having sex, they stopped! — I felt absolutely nothing. It was one drunken regrettable night. One of so, so many more to come. And I have found that when a guy demeans you in a drunken state, it is more likely to stick with you and haunt you if you give anything resembling a shit about his opinion.

And come to think about it, how gross do you have to be to fuck someone when it's, like, three Goldschlager body shots away from being necrophilia?

Battling The Myth Of "Gray Rape" [Talking Points Memo]
No Such Thing As Gray Rape [NYC Against Rape]

Says Levey: "You see someone who's wasted on alcohol or stoned on your couch. Viruses like HPV can seem minor by comparison."

Uh, Levey, a bad case of the muchies and cervical cancer are sorta , you know, an apples-oranges type of issue, see what we mean?

(Check user-generated content created by Laura's afternoon chat for the thoughts of even more idiotic, ignorant citizens.)

In No Hurry To Give It A Shot [Washington Post]

'Unhooked' Author Warns Against 'Hooking Up' [NPR]