• Though Laura did admit she disagreed with George about abortion, like Daum says, don't expect her to publicly bash most of what George did in office. She's clearly a very loyal wife, and I think has too much of a sense of decorum to disavow her husband's disastrous Presidency.
• Do expect her to talk more about the good work she did in the White House, like her initiatives on education, books, and women's health.
• Don't expect her to dish too much dirt on her daughters, Jenna and Barbara. Though there may be a warm or irreverent anecdote or two, like when Laura told her biographer Ann Gerhart about how "then-20-year-old Jenna Bush call[ed] her father right before he was to deliver the post-9/11 State of the Union address to announce she'd lost the sticker for her car," Laura will not be talking about that time Jenna got arrested for underage drinking.
• Do expect her to throw at least one curve ball. I would wager that she dishes about one of two things. 1. the tragic car accident she got into as a 17-year-old girl. Laura hit another car being driven by a classmate of hers and he died in the crash. She allegedly had a crush on the guy. 2. George's alcoholism. Everyone already knows that George used to be a huge lush and then found Jesus. She may reveal her reaction to George's substance abuse, because it's just adding emotional content to something that's widely known already.
• Don't expect her to reveal overmuch about the inner workings of her husband's administration. She'll probably talk about 9/11 and the events surrounding it, but the only secrets from inside the White House we'll get from Laura will likely be about draperies.

Of course, it's possible I've misjudged the situation. Maybe Laura's fed up enough to go rogue and write a bonkers tell-all where she discusses what George's lil' W looks like. Maybe it will have as much salacious detail as Sittenfeld's fictionalized interpretation of Laura, American Wife. Laura will be on Meet The Press this Sunday, and perhaps she'll give us a little taste of her autobiographical naughties. What would you like to hear Laura reveal in her forthcoming memoir?

Laura Bush Confirms She's Shopping A Book Proposal [USA Today]
Bushes' Books [LA Times]
The Perfect Wife: The Life and Choices of Laura Bush [Amazon]
Why I Love Laura Bush [Salon]
On The Sunday Shows [Time]

Earlier: Social Awkwardness, Long Odds & Sarah Palin: A Chat With Curtis Sittenfeld

• Amy Winehouse and Blake Formerly Incarcerated: Dunzo. He's left her for a German model; she's admitted that it was never going to last and that they were "only together for sex." Keep in mind that this report comes from a terribly disreputable paper. [News Of The World, Page Six]
• By the by, Blake Fielder-Civil's jail sentence appeal was refused by two judges. [The Sun]
• "Impeccable" sources say Guy Ritchie is banking $70 million of Madonna's money as part of the divorce settlement. That kind of cash will buy a lot of rounds at the pub! [Perez Hilton]
• Oy, Alex Rodriguez is a "Kabbalah school dropout." Madonna will not be happy about this. [MSNBC]
• That was quick: Michael Jackson has settled his court case in which be was being sued by a sheikh. [BBC News]
• Bloody hell. The Twilight sequel has been greenlit. [UPI]

• Brad and Angelina's family is just as cute and perfect in real life as they claim to be. [Page Six]
• OMG Barbara and Jenna Bush helped take Sasha and Malia Obama on a tour of the White House and all of the girls totally jumped on the beds! Says Laura Bush: "They're really tall beds; you need to get a running start." [People]
• Will Leona Lewis team up with Beyoncé and Jay-Z for Barack Obama's inauguration concert? [The Sun]
• Larry Rudolph, Britney Spears' longtime manager, discusses her documentary: "There just came a moment where she decided to get up, brush herself off and move forward. She had hit a low point in her life. She realized that and everybody else realized that. She wanted to get to a better place." Plus, there's A clip! [LA Times]
• Britney made an unexpected appearance in court Friday for a hearing on her ongoing conservatorship. [Yahoo News]
• Jessica Alba ate Nutella crepes at a downtown Manhattan restaurant, where the staff said the meal was "on the house," so she left a $200 tip. Classy. [Page Six]
• In this in-depth piece about Nicole Kidman, we learn that while Keith Urban is on tour and Nic rides around in the tour bus, "She likes to sneak away and go to people's garage sales. 'All I need is a hat, and I go,' she says. She bought little ceramic candle holders at one sale, she says, and embroidered Christmas stockings at another, 'when it wasn't anywhere near Christmastime. I love it.'" [Washington Post]
• Johnny Depp's movie took over a highway in Wisconsin; the detour traffic made a road collapse. Whoops! [AP]
• Ooh: Today is the day that Boy George is due to stand trial; he's accused of assaulting and falsely imprisoning a male escort. [The Star]
• How do people in the Bronx feel about the name Ashlee and Pete Wentz chose for their baby boy? Not impressed. [NY Times]
• "Bronx is beyond precious. I'm over the moon with joy," says Jessica Simpson. "Life is a beautiful miracle. Ashlee and Pete are healthy, happy and enjoying every moment." Cool, cool. Do people really say "over the moon"??? [UPI]
• Nicolette Sheridan, who ended her engagement to Michael Bolton about three months ago, was seen making out with "Hollywood Lothario" David Spade Friday night. Just let that image settle in. [Star]
• Even though Michael Phelps has professed his love for McDonald's, he has a deal promoting Subway. How did the sandwich chain land the deal? [AdAge]
• Illeana Douglas has a (laminated) message for the paparazzi, you should click and see. [DListed]
• Pleasure principle: Janet Jackson is going to take a break from music to focus on having a baby with her boyfriend Jermane Dupri. [Daily Express]
• The economy takes no prisoners: The Tyra Banks Show is moving to the CW's afternoon block after being in syndication for four seasons. Stations have been making budget cuts, so Tyra's production schedule will be cut to 26 weeks from 34. [Reuters]
• Natasha McElhone says her mission now, besides acting and providing for her family, is to complete some of the work her late husband, a doctor, began: "to finish his life, to finish his unfinished business." [LA Times]
• In this interview with Stephen Colbert, he discusses meeting Eleanor Holmes Norton (the District's delegate in Congress): "I felt so dirty. I felt like a piece of meat. I find being a piece of meat very exciting. In my last life, I think I was a veal cutlet." [Washington Post]
• Paris Hilton has been "constantly texting" Benji Madden and trying to show up at clubs where he is supposed to be. [Mirror]
• You can buy a silk couch owned by Jenna Jameson on eBay if you have $9,500 to spare. It's pearl gray. [DListed]
• Even though the economy is in the crapper, there's stuff celebrities won't give up: Mad Men's Elisabeth Moss needs her coffee; Jessica Biel must travel first class; Hilary Swank gets facials; supermodel/ANTM judge Twiggy must have pink Champagne, and much more [WWD]
• Dora The Explorer is getting a new voice: Will kids notice? [Page Six]
• Blind items: 1. Which ex-couple — an actor and a model — still share some aspects of their sex life? Both are known to sleep with a famous Lower East Side topless dancer who has a reputation of never going home alone. 2. Which TV host has such good rapport with his fetching female co-host that his wife has correctly guessed they're having an affair? [Page Six]
• No Doubt: On tour, summer 2009. [People]
• Ben Stiller and Chris Rock: "Israel is better than Hollywood." [AP]
• Dita Von Teese is suing Macmillan Publishers, which printed Patti O'Shea's In Twilight's Shadow, a paranormal romance novel about demon hunting. For some reason, Dita's face is on the cover. She certainly did not give permission. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Now that the Daily Mail has apologized to David Duchovny for printing a story about him having an affair with his tennis instructor, Duchovny's dropped his $1 million lawsuit. [E!]
• Travis Barker is suing the owner and makers of the "defective" Learject that crashed September 19, killing four and leaving him and DJ AM with severe burns. [Yahoo News via E!]
• So you know how Michael Lohan — Lindsay's dad — was going to box for charity? The parole board has stepped in, saying the boxing match can't happen because he spent 20 months in prison for attempted assault. Whoops! [Yahoo News]
• Will the Golden Globes not happen again this year? Last year is was a writers' strike; this year a Screen Actors Guild strike could cancel the event. [Fox News]
• Hollywood veterans and experts from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology are spending $25 million on a lab called The Centre for Future Storytelling. Matt Damon is involved. [Times Of London]
• Lily Allen sought therapy after her miscarriage: "I was in a very, very dark place after the whole thing happened. That was the toughest thing I've had to go through in my life. [Therapy] is really, really helping me. I feel it's getting better and everything's going to be OK." [Mirror]
• Crazy stuff in this Q&A with Quincy Jones: His dad worked as a carpenter for the black mob, and in 1974 Q had two brain aneurysms. Oh, and Q talks about Frank Sinatra: "[He] was one of those guys where he liked you or he didn't. I got to know the Frank that nobody wrote about, the guy who visited Billie Holiday in the hospital to make sure her bills were paid and who took care of Amos and Andy when they were down on their luck. He was a stand-up guy who didn't see color, and that was rare back then." [Newsweek]
• Padma Lakshmi went to see the Foo Fighters and Dave Grohl dragged her on stage; she ended up playing tambourine with the band and getting hit on by Taylor Hawkins. [Page Six]
• Meg Ryan's Bel-Air house is for sale, if you have $19.5 million to spare. You get 6,877 square feet, a pool, spa, and guest house. [TMZ]
• Cedric the Entertainer may not be the obvious first choice for a Broadway drama, but he's getting good buzz for being in the David Mamet play American Buffalo. [NY Times]
• Cops are looking for a "Casanova conman" who claims links to Heath Ledger, Robert De Niro and Keith Urban and has left broken hearts and empty wallets across Australia. [News.com.au]
• Wow. A Keith Richards easy listening album. With a jazz version of "Over The Rainbow. Wow. [Telegraph]
• A doozy of a headline: "Camilla Admits To 'Letting Herself Go' Since She Married Charles... And Vows To Take Up Tai Chi As A New Year's Resolution." Lulz. [Daily Mail]
  
• Warren Beatty is suing over the rights to comic strip detective Dick Tracy. Apparently he's working on a Dick Tracy TV special? Who knew? [Reuters]
• Paul Newman's will was made public and he left his personal property, including real estate, to his wife, Joanne Woodward. His Oscars and other awards went to the Newman's Own Foundation; his airplane and race cars will be sold, with proceeds going to his estate. [AP]
• A Smashing Pumpkins show has been postponed; Billy Corgan's sick! [UPI]
• Billy Zane's parents closed down the Chicago med school they owned, leaving some students in the lurch. [UPI]
• Enya: Might tour for the first time ever. [Reuters]
• Oh, good (oh God?): The Vatican's newspaper has finally forgiven John Lennon for declaring that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ. Plus, The paper says the Beatles made music that is better than "standardized, stereotypical" songs being produced today. [Reuters, AP]
• Speaking of the Beatles, Paul McCartney says his conflict with John Lennon was over before the singer was shot. [UPI]
• investigators say Olivia Newton-John's missing boyfriend probably drowned while on a fishing trip. [News.com.au]
• A man who waved Samurai swords at a Hollywood Scientology building had a "previous relationship" to the church; he was shot and killed by a security guard. [AP]
• Rocker Bryan Ferry is dating his son's ex-girlfriend. The Roxy Music star is 63; the lady in question is 27 and his son is 22. A "pal" says the lady had fling with the son about 5 years ago. Yuck. [The Sun]
• Jodie Sweetin has filed for legal separation from her husband but is "trying to stay positive for Zoie," their 7-month-old daughter. [People]
• Why is a letter Princess Diana wrote to her royal footman on her honeymoon up for sale? And how sad is it that she mentions how "terribly lonely" she is? [Daily Mail]
• Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster are trying for a baby. Yeah, he's 63, so what? [Mirror]
• "Ever since her Oscar nomination, Sophie Okonedo has been offered plenty of 'mini-skirted girlfriend' parts. But she'd much rather stay home and do nothing." [Telegraph]
• Blackadder: a Christmas comeback. [The Star]
• A New York rabbi paid $2500 at an auction to go out with ice skating queen Oksana Baiul. He says: "Well, I'm single, it's for charity, and she seems like a nice Jewish girl. I guess I'm the luckiest guy in my congregation." [Page Six]
• "My son would have been at that rally in Chicago when the first African- American president was elected, and I'm sure he would have gone up onstage and grabbed the microphone as only he could." — Ol' Dirty Bastard's mom. [Page Six]
• "I got drunk and lied to him. I said 'I've lost my keys and I can't wake my mum. Can I stay on your sofa?' He went to brush his teeth. I took my clothes off and jumped in his bed. It's the only way I can ever get together with people." — Lily Allen on her seduction technique. [Mirror]
• "I laugh when people say we don't get on. Of course we row. But we are best friends as well as partners. I don't think we'd know what to do without each other." — Kate "Jordan" Price on her relationship with her husband, Peter Andre. [The Sun]
• "Axl's a friend, and I don't want to compromise that. But as for 'fun' crazy: He wrote his (half) brother, Stuart, a $25,000 check every day to throw these lavish theme parties. It was like, we're in Indianapolis, so there were Formula One cars everywhere, with all the girls dressed up in pit-crew uniforms. It was decadence at the highest level I'd ever seen, a Caligula kind of outlandishness. There were orgies, sure. Was I involved? Yes. Well, I was in the same room — we'll leave it at that." — Lars Ulrich on being on tour with Axl Rose and Guns N Roses back in the day. [Perez Hilton]
• "Something else comes out of you when you become a parent and, as you get older, you start to see more character in your face. Now, when I look at myself, I just see somebody at peace, and I see a mom, and I see my own relatives in my face – and that’s a kind of beauty that exists for everybody and doesn’t disappear." — Angelina Jolie. [Daily Mail]

[Washington, D.C., November 10. Images via Getty]

[NYM, Just Jared, TMZ]

What attracted you to Laura as a fictional construct in the first place? In the Times you've declared your love for her and I've read the Salon essay in which you first mention your admiration for her. You call her "a mastermind of stealth independence."
Basically I read these various articles about her, and realized that she was more complicated than I would have imagined. She and George Bush got married at the age of 31, and she was a democrat until she married him. She actually has some very liberal close friends, including a woman who’s a midwife in Berkeley. I think a lot of people, most people, are primarily friends with people who are of the same political persuasion as you are. I think it’s notable to be First Lady to a super conservative President and friends with midwife. She would invite people over when she was First Lady of Texas and when she was at the White House. Because she was such a great reader, she would invite writers to events, and they would have been on record as disagreeing with her husband. They just assumed that Laura had never read their books, but then they would show up and have realized she had read everything they'd ever written.

I’ve read all of your novels, and while Lee (from Prep) and Hannah (from The Man of My Dreams) are more cynical, all three heroines are quite shy and introverted. It seems like these sorts of introverted characters are not usually protagonists. What makes you gravitate towards them?
Well I think that the all the protagonists of my books are observant, because I can’t really imagine writing a novel that didn’t have an observant protagonist. What would be the point? I also think that I’m interested in social awkwardness, because it seems to illustrate or magnify these aspects of human behavior. So I would say that’s a lot of it: the things that interest me as a person.

Alice's shyness makes her incredibly ambivalent about her husband, Charlie's, ascendence to the Presidency. I was particularly taken with the observation she makes as narrator: "We did everything we could to get as many people as possible to pay attention to us, and it worked, and now we complain. Leave us alone, we say. Just like you, we’re entitled to privacy."
I feel like most people who are famous have actively pursued their fame, but some people are famous as a result of their relationship to someone else, and that’s always true for political families. For example, Sasha and Malia Obama didn’t choose to be famous, but now they are. It's the outsider question. To me it’s always more interesting to hear a story told from the perspective of an outsider, because an outsider notices things more, whereas an insider takes things for granted.

I read the Cindy McCain profile in this week's New Yorker as I was reading the American Wife, and it struck me that very few women really revel in being First Ladies. What sort of person does enjoy being a political spouse? Do you think Hillary liked it?
I think Hillary Clinton is a really interesting person because people have very strong reactions to her in terms of admiring her or disliking her. I think she was a good First Lady, but I think she’d actually be a better President than First Lady.

Ok, now I need to ask the obligatory question about what you think of our potential First Ladies, Cindy McCain and Michelle Obama.
There was an article on Cindy in the New York Times on August 23rd. It was the same day Biden was announced as Obama's VP pick so it didn't get as much press as it should have. I really urge anyone to read it, it raises a lot of questions about her professional involvement with her family’s company (ed. note: the article basically says that Cindy, "a private person" is an absentee chairwoman who cashes the checks from the beer distributorship she inherited but "has left scarcely a mark on the company.") Michelle Obama seems like a much more regular person. I just watched her on Ellen and I think she’s a good sport. You see her dance with Ellen, which Barack did too. It is interesting. Obviously because everything in politics is so scripted it makes us even hungrier to know people’s real selves, which we kind of can’t do.

Speaking of real and fictional selves, one thing I thought was really interesting, and one thing I’ve been thinking about with Sarah Palin, is how these details come out about you and become your “official biography” that everyone refers to. Like with Alice in American Wife, her father being a postal worker, which wasn’t even true, was seized upon by her husband's campaign. Do you ever wonder what details would emerge about you and become those sorts of talking points?
I’m not planning to run for office, but there are definitely certain details. This is a different kind of book than Prep or the Man of my Dreams. So there are different questions that come up over and over. There’s a set of questions with this book and a set that comes up with other books. There’s a tidbit that Prep was turned down by 14 out of 15 publishers, which is true, but misleading because it was sold within two weeks. It makes it sound like I struggled more than I did. Anyone who is writing about fiction writing likes stories about long odds.

Long odds makes me think of Sarah Palin. What's your take on her?
I wish she were a fictional construct. I’m not a fan of hers. But I certainly admit that she’s got a compelling life story.

American Wife [Amazon]
Curtis Sittenfeld [Official Website]
Imaginary First Lady Tells All [NYT]
Why I Love Laura Bush [Salon]
For McCains, a Public Path but Private Wealth [NYT]
Michelle Obama On Ellen [YouTube]

Earlier: Pussy, Parents And Puppies: A Q&A With Comedian Margaret Cho
This Is Not Chick Lit: A Q&A With Writer Janelle Brown
New Yorker Profile Shows Cindy McCain Is A Nouveau Betty Draper

• Punk queen Vivienne Westwood is releasing her first album! Well, sort of. "Conceptualised, compiled and art-directed by the designer personally, the album - which is being released by Mercury Records - features 16 of the favourite songs of fashion's grande dame, which, in typical Westwood style, are anything but predicable; think Last Night Was Made For Love by Billy Fury alongside Tchaikovsky's Waltz of the Flowers." [VogueUK]
• The fact that Christina Aguilera seems so totally stable these days doesn't bode well for her new fragrance, "Inspire." Aguilera says the scent "is a natural extension of herself." But who wants to smell like happily-married mom without a substance abuse problem these days? [USA Today]
• It's official! Debbie Phelps has signed an endorsement deal with Chico's! [WSJ]
• Kate Moss returns to the catwalk after four years! Again: Well, sorta. "Kate grabbed a top hat and cane to join Beth Ditto of The Gossip in the show which was hosted by Scissor Sisters' singer Ana Matronic, and attended by a cheering posse of the model's friends including boyfriend Jamie Hince." [This Is London]

• "Even as you read this, New York Fashion Week, debuting the spring 2009 collections, is unfurling on the Bryant Park runways, all but oblivious to the fact that most Americans are too busy choosing between food and fuel to worry about foulards versus fan pleats." [Village Voice]
• Menswear designer takes a page from Italian Vogue: "Carlos Campos is showing his first women's collection Monday during Fashion Week, and he's just announced he'll use only black models in the runway show at the Altman Building." Great, but ultimately can't using a mix of models just become standard? [NY Mag]
• Does footwear herald changes in Republicanland? "Mrs. Bush opted for comfortable, unexciting slingbacks while Mrs. McCain went with considerably higher, coquettish black peep-toe pumps." Palin, of course, favors Ferrari-red heels. [Observer]
• In other sartorial convention news, conservatives, unsurprisingly, dress conservatively. "No untamed hair, no rumpled, loose-fitting skirts and trousers made from varying blends of linen, hemp and flax. On men, no shirttails hanging out or low-slung, baggy shorts and pants." [StarTribune]
• In Britain, meanwhile, female politicians stay resolutely dowdy. [Telegraph]
• Lauren Conrad: down but not out! The plucky polymath has some fall designs back up on her site. [OhNoTheyDidn't]
• Designer Yigral Azrouel branches into condoms: “Having grown up with five sisters, causes related to women’s health and wellness are close to my heart. I love being able to apply my passion for design to raise awareness for Planned Parenthood®. My business is largely founded on designing for women, so it is really about taking that mindset and applying it to a product like PROPER ATTIRE® to figure out what appeals to a woman." I guess they've given up on condoms appealing to men. [NY Mag]
• We're mad at Target for dropping Isaac Mizrahi, but maybe he'll jazz up Liz Claiborne? [WWD]
• Ethically-produced jeans have made the leap from worthy to wearable. [Guardian]
• Yet another college comes to its senses: UNC drops out of Victoria's Secret college line. [USNews]
• Check it: the Gisele for Max Factor ads. [People]
• More deets on the Vena Cava/Via Spiga collab! [Sassybella]
• We bring peace to the Middle East! And by "peace" I mean "Payless Shoes." [WSJ]
• Calvin Klein's successor Francisco Costa: “I never thought of filling anybody’s shoes...That was never a consideration. Calvin did what he did. Am I Calvin? Absolutely not. Am I respecting the label? Yes. Am I doing what I am supposed to do? I think I am. Am I respecting myself? Yes. Am I having fun? Yes. Do I like being here? I love being here." [WWD]
• Is he responsible for CK's astronomical growth? [WWD]
• We all know how designers love playing editor! (see: Tom Ford.) "For Elle's October issue, The London Issue, four British designers have created their ultimate Elle covers." They include Luella Bartley, Giles Deacon, Gareth Pugh, and Matthew Williamson. [ElleUK]

MOE: So I just had a thought. A strategist on Fox News used the word "fulcrum" and it completely tripped up the blonde, who was like, "I'm still fascinated by that word you used Rich, fulcrum." And then the other guy was like, "Yeah, fulcrum what the heck does that mean?" And the strategist laughed
MOE: And said, "It's physics, Bob, it has to do with the Law of Conservation of Angular Momentum."
MOE: Which is not a law I particularly remember but it gave me this theory: I think that smart people become Republicans to feel smarter than all their friends.
MEGAN: Whoa, he even quoted that? I think today is a Big Word day because David Axelrod just used the word "potentate" on MSNBC talking about leaders in the Middle East and OPEC.

MEGAN: Okay, and now Joe Scarborough just called Tim Daly the Grand Poobah of the Creative Coalition.
MOE: What does that even mean?

MEGAN: Not that it's a definitive source, but Wiki says

Grand Poobah is a term derived from the name of the haughty character Pooh-Bah in Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado. In this comic opera, Pooh-Bah holds numerous exalted offices, including Lord Chief Justice, Chancellor of the Exchequer, Master of the Buckhounds, Lord High Auditor, Groom of the Back Stairs, and Lord High Everything Else. The name has come to be used as a mocking title for someone self-important or high-ranking and who either exhibits an inflated self-regard, who acts in several capacities at once, or who has limited authority while taking impressive titles.

MOE: Hahaha so it's a more appropriate name for an MC than I knew when I began immediately associating it with this awesome party jam...
MEGAN: Dude, that guy on the TV sorta looks like Kid from Kid N Play...
MOE: Oh dude speaking of amazing segues, apparently Grand Puba holds Nation Of Islam beliefs. Which brings me to Michelle Obama, of whom we now know the same thing thanks to the Grand Puba of paranoid indiscriminate hateration. We should totally form a Hitchens-inspired hip-hop collective. I know some rappers who would dig it. We would get on Stuffwhitepeoplelike IMMEDIATELY.

MEGAN: Oh, Christ, Hitchens takes so fucking long to get to the point, which is him calling Barack, basically, pussy-whipped. Which, obviously, any man that doesn't indiscriminately cheat on his long-suffering wife the way Hitchens does obviously is.
MEGAN: Did I ever mention that I once watched Hitchens leave a party with a really pretty 18 year old? She might've been 20. She had some crazy hero-worship in her eyes, but I'll bet he sweatily fucked that out of her with his stale cigarette smell and tiny British ween.
MOE: Man I was checking TheRoot for some response to the Hitch and the lead story is on "Why The Summer Of '88 Was My Generation's Greatest." The late eighties were so rad in a lot of ways, I'm just remembering. The End of History and the like. But it was also, like, one of the bleakest eras for American cities, which I kind of think represent the future of American pluralism, which apparently Michelle Obama didn't believe in in 1985, which is why we are now wondering if she isn't a radical bitterfascist.

MOE: And that is a very good read on the situation. I was honestly disgusted he chose to go after her fucking college thesis which is basically about how alienated and inferior she felt on account of all the elitist assholes at Princeton.
MOE: And he writes:

To describe it as hard to read would be a mistake; the thesis cannot be "read" at all, in the strict sense of the verb. This is because it wasn't written in any known language.

MOE: Which is true of most academic papers.
MEGAN: Man, I sort of wish I could've written about that for my college thesis. I had to write about the role of ideology in determining women's status in the labor market in Germany before and after reunification.
MOE: But not even of hers.
MOE: I dropped out, yay. I don't think I wrote a decent paper ever in my life after my treatise on the collapse of the Weimar Republic in tenth grade. After that it was all an alcohol haze. I wrote some good stories for the Journal that were better researched than any of my papers, however.
MEGAN: I picked a graduate school based on where I didn't have to write another thesis, which is why I ended up chucking my completed SAIS application in the garbage rather than sending it.

MOE: : This was Christian's take on Hitchens which sort of nicely unpeels the layers of disingenuousness:

What he's really saying is, I, the Hitch, know that people must necessarily allow contradictions into their lives, especially politicians, who typically do so cynically, but I am cynical enough myself to pretend that I don't know that, and so I can write a column that honestly admits that Obama really has nothing in common with his Reverend (did I mention that I, the Hitch, hate all churchees—I know politicians are only pandering to them, but it's fun to pretend they're not) but that his wife is a menace.
7:14 PM asserts that his wife is a menace anyway.

MEGAN: Also, I am not going to click that again because it is more than I can handle imagining Hitch having his taint waxed AND NOW I HAVE IMAGINED IT AGAIN and I think I might hate you a little, give me a second to wash the taste of bile out of my mouth and then let's change the subject.
MEGAN: Here, let's talk about Clinton saying that OPEC can no long be allowed to exist so she's going to file a WTO complaint even though, like, she's not so keen on free trade policies or something and I'm pretty sure there's no way it would succeed.
MOE: Ah, yeah so there is a bill to amend the Sherman Act to make oil-producing and exporting cartels illegal.
MOE: God, remember the fucking Sherman Act?

MEGAN: Which means, what? That we won't buy oil from OPEC anymore? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
MOE: Well, if the Heritage Foundation and major trade unions can agree on something...

Indeed, the only serious challenge to the organization came in 1978 when a U.S. non-profit labor association, the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers (IAM), sued OPEC under the Sherman Antitrust Act, in IAM v. OPEC. But the case was rejected in 1981 by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit. OPEC, the court affirmed, could not be prosecuted under the Sherman Act due to the foreign sovereign immunity protection it claimed for its member states. That decision was wrong. Government-owned companies that engage in purely business activities do not warrant sovereign immunity protection according to prevailing legal doctrines

MOE: Apparently the effort was led by William "Wimpy" Wimpsinger. I like that he took that "wimp thing" and sort of owned it. Do you think Hitchens cynically wants the Clintons back because it makes his job easier?

I have the distinct feeling that the Obama campaign can't go on much longer without an answer to the question: "Are we getting two for one?" And don't be giving me any grief about asking this. Black Americans used to think that the Clinton twosome was their best friend, too. This time we should find out before it's too late to ask.

MEGAN: Wait, so white man Christopher Hitchens would like Black America to know that the Obamas will... what exactly? Betray them like the Clintons? I think this is why I only read stuff he writes about him waxing his back, sack and crack.
MOE: Oh man hip-hop reference segue time #2 of the morning. Let's give a shout-out to Khia. Dude, the Hitchens inspired DJ collective is a total gold idea. I know these dudes Plastic Little who could get into it. They're biracial like Obama. But I think we've gotta address the notion of Burma, and how this cyclone hit just as Hollywood celebs were getting in on the action.
MEGAN: So, am I right that the appropriately white guilty thing to do is not talk about the oppressive government for a bit?
MOE: Here's the latest "That's So Jane's!" on the matter, God I love this graphic...Apparently you likened Burma to Katie Holmes.
MEGAN: Oppression shows its face in all kinds of dark ways.
MOE:

It's an Orwellian nightmare that makes China look like a liberal paradise by comparison. For twenty years there has been nothing on this scale and when protests have been staged they have been in the order of hundreds and have been easily dealt with. The monks posed a huge dilemma for the military since they initially felt that they could not simply resort to smashing skulls and opening fire indiscriminately. Buddhists believe that what you do in this life will determine how you come back next time. So massacring a few monks is more likely to see you come back as a cockroach than achieving nirvana.

MEGAN: Well, but they'll be born in China or India more often than not, so it's like they get reborn into a less oppressive regime?
MOE: Okay here's another thing. The last sentence of that Times story.

If you talk to Vaclav Havel, he'll say that Lou Reed's support for human rights in Czechoslovakia was very important to the cause."

MEGAN: Um, I guess the cool factor is really important?

MEGAN: But neither Ellen Page or Jim Carrey is Lou Reed.
MOE: Okay so there's a primary tonight and I'm sick of primary nights but I suppose we ought to address it. Hillary Clinton will win in Indiana because she's "not going to put my lot in with economists." Obama will win North Carolina because Petey Pablo is from there. Oh man, hip-hop foray part III. Do you remember when Petey Pablo did that remix of "North Carolina" on the USA after 9/11? I'm sure you won't, but some commenter might. I think he also went to Afghanistan. Okay. Any predictions?
MOE: Terry McAuliffe is on Fox right now. His prediction is that "people will be saying she did better in both states than they thought she would." Jesus Christ.
MEGAN: I predict me and a lovely bottle of Petite Sirah will be blogging it tonight for Glamocracy. And that I hate being wrong so I don't make predictions but it does seem like the polls are saying that Hillary will take Indiana and Obama will take NC.
MEGAN: Whoa, talk about managing expectations there, Terry Boy. I didn't think the polls in Indiana were that close, plus she's been standing in pickup trucks! Pickup trucks are like electoral gold in Indiana.
MOE: I'm going to leave us with a passage from David Brooks, because I found it calming, sort of like certain candidates.

This wasn't just shameless spin, it was shamelessness with a purpose. Clinton signaled that she wasn't going to concede even an inch to the vast elitist conspiracy. She wasn't going to feel guilty about ignoring the evidence. She was going to stomp on it, flay it and leave it a twisted mass of jelly quivering on the ground. She was going to perform the primordial duty of an alpha dog leader — helping one's own....But, as Sunday's contrast made clear, Obama still seems like a human being. He still seems to return each night to some zone of normalcy where personal reflection lives.He wasn't fully candid when answering questions about the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, but there are some inner guardrails that prevent the spin from drifting too far from the truth. Thoughtful and conversational, he doesn't seem to possess the trait that Clinton has: automatically assuming that critics are always wrong. Obama still possesses his talent for homeostasis, the ability to return to emotional balance and calm, even amid hysteria.

• Laura Bush gave a speech about Burma a.k.a. Myanmar and disaster preparedness and Jenna's wedding. Her lipstick was very well-applied. More than 10,000 people may die as a result of the cyclone. Harry built a limestone altar in Texas especially for the wedding. It will be "permanent" in contrast to many of the structures in Myanmar, where limestone and most other things are in short supply. The ruling junta is holding a referendum this weekend to solidify its control of their dirt- poor, isolated disaster zone and I guess this means they win. Governments that are more efficient when it comes to killing citizens than warning about floods always win in the short term. And also the medium term. [Huffington Post]
  
• Hey, speaking of nuptials/Third World personalities! Mariane Pearl might be Angelina Jolie's maid of honor. [Times Of India]
  
• The primary was so ugly, John and Cindy McCain couldn't bring themselves to vote for a candidate in 2000. [Huffington Post]
  
• Kind of similar situation with John and Elizabeth Edwards and Hillary and Obama. [TPM]

• A nun says Catholics like Hillary Clinton because they want to stick it to the Catholic Church for being so sexist. [Slate]
• Do you ever think how maybe back in the eighties Michelle Obama made a pact with Jeremiah Wright and Louis Farrakhan and Stokley Carmichael aka Kwame Toure to groom a charismatic neo Malcolm X figure only so they could later sacrifice him when he became too powerful and universally respected like something out of Malcolm X or like the Bible? Me neither, but that's sort of what Chris Hitchens seems to be saying. [Slate]
• The Rush Limbaugh Hillary Clinton lovefest is kind of cute in that sickening way true love is always kind of sickening. [Rush]
• Oh great now Germany is getting our jobs? [Indy Star]
• If you haven't been on food stamps or some other form of welfare yet you might as well go out tonight and pair an extravagant meal with an expensive bottle of wine because in all likelihood you are someday going to be impoverished, friends; just know it happens to the best 75% of us. [UPI]

• The facts speak for themselves: Heidi Klum is designing a capsule collection for Jordache, for which she has been modeling over the past year. Think she'll offer hair extensions to cover nipples as well? [WWD, sub req'd]
  
• Kathy Hilton just released her own perfume. It's called "My Secret." We don't really want to think about what Kathy Hilton's secret might smell like. [BellaSugar]
  
• Gloria Steinem would not approve: Georgina Chapman, Marchesa designer and wife of Halston co-owner Harvey Weinstein, was named "Georgina Weinstein" on her front row seat at Halston yesterday. Only, as Chapman herself put it, "I didn't change my name, they did it for me." [WWD, 1st item]
  
• Jimmy Choo's CEO Tamara Mellon thinks that boyfriend Christian Slater should take a more active, or acting, role in fashion. Mellon says Slater would be "perfect" to play Halston in any upcoming biopic on the designer. [WWD, 1st item]

• One last Halston item! Rachel Zoe, who sits on the label's creative advisory team, wasn't at yesterday's debut show. A rep for the label was quick to issue a statement that Zoe has not been fired. Um, the lady doth protest too much? [WWD, 2nd item]
• Does the fashion industry hate the Bush Administration? Laura Bush is having a luncheon next week for all the designers who participated in this year's The Heart Truth's Red Dress Collection but Nicole Miler, Donna Karan, Carmen Marc Valvo, Tracy Reese, and Marchesa designers Georgina Chapman and Keren Craig have all said that they won't be able to attend. [WWD, 3rd item]
• Is anyone else depressed that Naomi Campbell and Andre Leon Talley collaborated to star and style in a SoBe "Thrillicious" commercial? [Fashion Week Daily]
• Burberry faux-fur parkas actually use dog fur. Fun! [UPI]
• Charges have been dropped against the manager of the Abercrombie & Fitch store in Virginia Beach, who was scapegoated by a cop whose delicate sensibilities were offended by A&F ads. [MSNBC]
• The latest item up for sale under Bono's (Product) RED line: The Mulberry Roxanne bag, done in sweatshirt material (red, naturally), for the Gap. [Sassybella]
• Count Fergie in as the latest face of MAC Viva Glam lipstick. [WWD, 2nd item]
• Brittany Murphy on Mr. and Mrs. Max Azria: "They're a very nice family, with great morals, very grounded. Plus, they'll even invite you over for Shabbat dinner. Who would turn that down?" [WWD, 4th item]
• Model Caroline Trentini has declared that she will be donating a percentage of her earnings from New York fashion shows to the Center of Support of Underprivileged Children with Cancer in her native Brazil. [WWD, 5th item]
• Is model/First Lady of France Carla Bruni pregnant with a son? [Vogue UK]
• Just what the world needed: Chocolate Armani Easter eggs. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Avon profits have dropped by 30%. There is no time for beauty in a recession. [Breitbart]

[New York, February 1. Images via INFDaily.]

• 1. Vera Wang: All I can think of when I see this is Chris and Christian (aka Team Fierce's) "avant-garde" look from Project Runway two weeks ago. It's way too trendy for Jenna and a Texas country wedding. This is a Southern sorority girl we're talking about, here.
  
• 2. J. Mendel: This tiered look screams "I'm pregnant and don't want daddy to know"!
  
• 3. Arnold Scaasi: Could this dress be any more old-school? Whatever Laura wore to marry Georgie Porgy probably looked a whole lot like this. (It's probably what his Barbara wore in her wedding to George, Sr. too.) Jenna may be a Republican, but she's not old. She needs contemporary conservative. Not to be confused, of course, with "compassionate conservative".
  
• 4. Carlos Miele: I can imagine Jenna in something like this; the strapless look is so traditional, and the bottom is full without being princess-y. (Jenna did teach children in South America; she's of the people!) One problem: Jenna's figure can come across as a little square, and this dress may not play up her curves.
  
• 5. Amsale: The girl can drink her Secret Service detail under the table. No way in hell is she going to wear a dress strewn with flowers.
  
• 6. Carmen Marc Valvo: Ooh, cool and modern without trying too hard; no avant-garde aspirations. Just stylish. And thus, possibly too good for Jenna. (See: Southern sorority girl, drinks like a fish, above.)
  
• 7. Angel Sanchez: Interesting detailing in the front, but those spaghetti straps won't be doing Jenna any favors. Pass.
  
• 8. Badgley Mischka: We have a winner! This dress has traditional styling, old-school glamour, romance, and class. And the White House can use all the class it can spin.
  
• 9. Nicole Miller: The bustle in the back, draping across the front, and underlayers peeking out look old-fashioned, but not in a cool, vintage way. Too dated for an all-American party girl.
  
• 10. Lela Rose: The scoop neck is unexpected and modern, but it just might be a little too fashion-forward for the stiff-necked blueblood Bush clan.
  11. Marc Bouwer: This shape might have looked good when Audrey Hepburn played Eliza Doolittle, but Jenna Bush, my friends, is no Audrey Hepburn. (Or John Kennedy.)
  
• 12. Oscar de la Renta: Strikingly similar to the Badgley Mischka gown, this one is a teensy bit more sophisticated. And Jenna Bush just doesn't scream "sophistication."

• The Ethiopian Intellectual Property Office — the same outfit that shook down meek little Starbucks! — is charging British designer Matthew Williamson with the theft of traditional African fabric patterns, to which his rep says: "Historically, Matthew Williamson bases his collections on the idea of a modern girl who is a global traveler. Her style is in part defined by incorporating many different cultures, traditions and customs. Nobody has the right to claim these designs as their own. " [Vogue UK]
  
• To which the Ethiopian Intellectual Property Office replies: "We are very unhappy with the actions of Mr Williamson. These are the dresses of our mothers and grandmothers. They symbolise our identity, faith and national pride. Nobody has the right to claim these designs as their own." [Sassybella]
  
• Okay, can we just add: it's "his" own, guys. Singular.
  
• Speaking of intellectual property! Thanks in advance, Elle.com for the pic of Williamson's stylings!

• More fun with billable hours! Vera Wang has settled out of court with The Vera Company over the whole trademark infringement thing involving Wang, uh, using her own name on her Kohl's line, Simply Vera. Says an unnamed source, "There really is only one Vera- The Vera Company. Vera Wang is Vera Wang. The Vera brand, on the other hand, has been around since the 1940's." And if a brand falls in the forties and no one remembers its name... [Fashion Lawyer]
• "Blass is all about opposites. Like a summer print, but in a wool, with an ease to it." Peter Som re: his attempt to finally resuscitate Bill Blass. [WWD, sub req'd]
• Only the French! There's a whole kerfuffle now over the French Justice Minister having posed in Dior in Paris Match magazine. [Times of London]
• Calvin Klein creative Director Kevin Carrigan: "What I do is work on fitting pieces into the design puzzle. And actually, it is quite a logical, scientific process. You create a design and then you might apply it to a different fabric - say, a patent leather - and the emotion changes....It's a big experiment." Uhhhhh, we're gonna have to go with "high." [Vogue UK]
• Times of London Fashion Editor Lisa Armstrong has collaborated with Louis Vuitton to create the "ultimate travel bag." Oh, the Brits, so forward-thinking when it comes to the role of the press. The Pulitzer committee would probs never let Robin Givhan do this. [Fashion Week Daily]
• There was a party Tuesday night sponsored by Donna Karan's Urban Zen initiative. Donna Karan wasn't there, but off vacationing in Parrot Cay. Which is exactly what we would be doing if we had found a male model to shtup us. [Fashion Week Daily]
• Yay! We love video footage of Krazy Karl! [Sassybella]
• File this under 'You know a president is already a lame duck when': First Lady Laura Bush will be attending New York Fashion Week come February. [WWD, 1st item]
• Don't hate on Marc Jacobs, people! He donated toys for the kiddies for Christmas! [WWD, 2nd item]
• Marit Allen, costume designer of Mrs. Doubtfire and Brokeback Mountain, died last month in Australia. [NYT]
• "Someone was mean to me once, so I deserve to be here," said unfortunately-Botoxed Lisa Kudrow at a Dress for Success event yesterday. [WWD, 3rd item]

But Laura can only be thinking, "Well I could be married to Larry Craig." And Suzanne Craig can only be thinking, "Well I guess I could be married to Judi Giuliani. (In some states anyway!) But Hillary has been through the worst, marriage-wise at least, and worked very very hard, to suppress all of it for the good of our country.

In a similar vein, I am now about to order my fourth drink.

That's Heidi Klum and Seal today, somewhere, thanks to X17.