Like five hours later, as I'm leaving my office, I suddenly hear her voice coming out of my purse. Due to lack of number-lock/general incompetence, my cell phone had redialed her number, as it was the last number I'd called. Her home answering machine had picked up, which is what I was hearing. Now, I'm kind of guessing Amy Sedaris has caller ID. I'm kind of guessing that Amy Sedaris believes I meant to call her at home, around 7 p.m., on a night when she'd told me her brother was going to be there. It's just ... awful.

But on the plus side, a friend had her entertaining book signed for me a couple of years ago (a year ago? I don't know. Very old; cannot keep track of time) and she wrote the following (not knowing, of course, that she was signing it for the deranged phone-stalker person): "Don't drink the cooking sherry. Drinking kills feelings." I like that a lot. I mean, I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who got such an inscription, but I still think it is cool. Unlike me. Interviewing her. Oh God.

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As a side note to mine, I had every David Sedaris book on my shelves and always wondered if The Rooster noticed them and figured out that the reason I hired his company was because I was an NPR geek who worshipped his family.

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The cashier said, "Can I help you find anything else today?"

And the man said, "No, just these, thank you."

And my head popped up and I squawked, "DONALD SUTHERLAND?" (I had just seen 'Klute'!)

And everybody in the store froze. Including Donald Sutherland, who was the man in line ahead of me.

In an effort to say something, anything to break the awkward silence (always a terrible plan, really) I said, "You have a really nice coat."

And he said, "Thank you. Yours is nice, too."

*melt*

And I said something like, "I like yours better. I got mine at a yard sale."

And he said, "Oh, no, no, those are the best ones." and paid for his books and left all of us thoroughly charmed in his wake.

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