As you can see in the clip above, these are the "arguments" Matthew Christian Davis makes "in defense" of the Salahis:

1. They were invited because they were in Davis's weird book:

Davis plugs his book right out of the gate, mentioning the completely irrelevant fact that the Salahis were featured in three sections of his book, Best of D.C., including a section called "Divas in Charge." (It should be noted that this book is one of those vanity/scam operations, a la Who's Who of American High School Students, in which overpriced books are created only to be sold back to the extremely naive and self-obsessed people "chosen" to be featured in them.)

2. They were invited because this was The White House:

When King interrupts Davis's book commercial to ask him, really, did he think the Salahi's crashed, he stumbles over his words: "This is not a nightclub or a private party at a luxury...country...ranch."

3. They were invited because Matthew Christian Davis witnessed the Rwandan genocide:

Davis then just starts rambling about his own credentials, claiming he comes from three generations of law enforcement and then, incomprehensibly, atrocity-drops: "I've been in such places as Rwanda during the genocide in 1994."

Huh? Anyway, what we can learn from this — and from their wooden, propped-up Today Show appearance, is that the Salahis are probably not malicious, but just completely and utterly clueless. And vain. And in need of some real friends. Basically, they're socialites!

Larry King Live: Friends Of Salahis [CNN]

1.) Toes
Tyra had guests this week who get fake toenails put on.

And there were these idiots, who pay $65 a session to have their toes read.

2.) Mariah
She made the talk show rounds. She stumbled on Leno.

Then she went on Larry King Live, where she blinged out his logo.

And then smelled her tits.

Also, Larry serenaded her.

3.) "Where are you?"
Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew premiered this week. One of its cast members, Nicole Narain, was on The Joy Behar Show, where she answered Joy's question a little too literally.

4.) What happens when you slouch in Judge Judy's court.

5.) Cougars
The Insider is taking this taking this cougar thing way too far. Although, I do like the little glimpses of Wasilla townies we get.

Niecy Nash is now literally referred to as "the resident cougar," and for the past two weeks, she's been going on dates with younger men.

Is this supposed to be sexy? Chest stubble and exaggerated nipples?

It reminds me of when Homer got plastic surgery so that Marge wouldn't leave him for a younger man.

And his nipples cried.

6.) Heather from Rock of Love on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
She played a hooker.

7.) Why did Sandals have to ruin a perfectly lovely song?

8.) Jon Gosselin implied that he's on the same professional level as Mary Hart.
And she didn't like it.

9.) Kirstie Alley on her coke days.

10.) Michelle Obama is fun.

1.) Synergy
Jon Gosselin's answer when asked for his thoughts on the Balloon Boy hoax:



We're thinking that Balloon Boy might give the same exact answer when asked for his thoughts on Jon Gosselin wiping out his family's bank account.

2.) Tricia Walsh-Smith threatened to walk off The Insider.
She didn't understand that people were telling her that she is smart.

BTW, why does The Insider consider Marla Maples part of "The Real First Wives Club"?

3.) "Tardy for the Party" is based on a true story.

Kim might have another hit on her hands, thanks to Jimmy Kimmel.

4.) A different type of tardy at the party
I love Kim's wasted face.

5.) The best excuse for tardiness
Courtesy of Bridezillas

6.) Spry seniors
Larry King's promo picture for his blog is awesome.

And this week, Elizabeth Taylor took Paris and Prince Jackson to Universal Studios theme park.

7.) Courtney Cox was a menstruation pioneer.

8.) What Al Reynolds is up to now
Musical theater-y things, regurgitating, and not being normal. His words, not mine.

9.) Tyra colonic
Last Friday, Tyra featured a colonic on her stage, which the host claimed was the First! Ever! Televised! Colonic! Except it wasn't. I remember Dave Navarro getting one on his reality show about his marriage to Carmen Electra. Tyra also said that a colonic was "the opposite of diarrhea." In fact, a colonic is the opposite of that. It is diarrhea, and it drips down your leg.

10.) A lesson on life from Judge Judy

• Alexsandra Wright, who is 6-months pregnant, has filed a paternity case alleging that Beyonce's dad, Mathew Knowles, is the father of her child. He has been married to Tina Knowles since 1980. [TMZ]

• Madonna told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show that she didn't notice him in the front row at one of her concerts because, "I was getting super-sharp looks from J.Lo. Her ponytail distracted me... Whenever artists come to see my show, they're studying me." [Us]
• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger rejected the suggestion that he could pardon Roman Polanski if he's returned to the United States, saying, "It doesn't matter if you are a big-time movie actor or a big-time movie director or producer... I think that he is a very respected person, and I am a big admirer of his work. But nevertheless, I think he should be treated like everyone else." [People]
• Christoph Blocher, a former Swiss justice minister, says it would have been more fair and legal if authorities had warned Roman Polanski that he would be arrested if he entered the country. "You don't invite someone when you know he's going to be arrested," he said. "You simply don't do that." [AP]
• Last night Larry King asked Jon Gosselin how much money he was paid by TLC last year and he said "no" before explaining that the "Gosselin family" made about $1 million, half went to taxes, and the rest was divided 10 ways. Video here: [TMZ]
• A judge has increased the powers of the two men administering Michael Jackson's estate, attorney John Branca and music executive John McClain, so they can deal with the numerous creditors claims against the estate. [AP]
• Angelina Jolie met with Iraqi refugees in Syria today as part of her duties as a U.N. goodwill ambassador. "Most Iraqi refugees cannot return to Iraq in view of the severe trauma they experienced there, the uncertainty linked to the coming Iraqi elections, the security issues and the lack of basic services," said Jolie. "They will, therefore, be in need of continued support from the international community." [AP]
• Lady Gaga's choreographer Laurieann Gibson Tweeted that GaGa's tour with Kanye West was called off due to "creative differences." She didn't elaborate, but confirmed that Lady GaGa will go on her own tour. [Perez Hilton]
• Disappointing women everywhere, Russell Brand and Katy Perry hit it off at the VMAs and they spent the past week on vacation together in Thailand. [Perez Hilton]
• News sources say the package Robert Halderman gave David Letterman reportedly contained copies of parts of Letterman's former assistant's diary and personal correspondence. [People]
• Halderman has two ex wives and pays one of them about $6,000 a month in child and spousal support and $13,500 of their credit card debt. He also pays his children's medical bills and could be ordered to pay for their college education. The kids are 11 and 18. [TMZ]
• At his arraignment today Halderman pled not guilty to the felony charge of attempted grand larceny in the first degree. The D.A. said his bail should be set at $500,000 because his actions were ones of "desperation" and are "alarming and dangerous" but the judge set his bail at $200,000. [TMZ]
• Halderman's friends and co-workers at CBS were shocked by the news that he was behind the extortion plot. "Joe's a friendly, boisterous, slap-you-on-the-back kind of guy," said a former colleague. "Sort of a Vince Vaughn type, but more serious and not goofy. A guy's guy. Someone you want to have a beer with." [N.Y. Observer]
• People are angry that the audience kept laughing as David Letterman discussed the sex/extortion scandal last night, but they may have just thought it was a comedy routine. Sources on the show say no one but the producers knew what Dave was going to do so the audience got the same warm up as usual, which emphasizes laughing and applauding often and loudly. [Yahoo]
• Kim Kardashian, who was on the show after David Letterman's revelation, said, "Letterman was great. I always love doing his show – and I always have a good time with him, it was great!" [People]
• Apple and Eminem's music publisher have settled a lawsuit over the digital download rights to his songs. The terms of the deal weren't made public. [AP]
• Clark Gable's granddaughter, Kayley Gable, was taken to the hospital on Wednesday night after she was found unconscious in her home. She left after a few hours and said she just had a panic attack. [TMZ]
• Comedian Paul Rodriguez is in ICU right now with severe abdominal pains but doctors don't know what's wrong with him. [TMZ]
• Consumer Product Safety Commission is recalling Paula Deen's cast iron cookware due to burn and laceration hazards. The pans were imported from China and sold on QVC. There have been 79 reports of the cookware cracking and shattering when heated. [UPI]
• Snoop Dogg had a necklace with a bullet-shaped pendant confiscated while going through airport security in Beirut. The bullet actually had an anti-war message: the diamond-studded bullet is from the charity Bullets 4 Peace, which turns bullet casings into jewelry. Snoop has already ordered a replacement. [Ok]
• Warner Bros. is developing a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory musical. Sam Mendes may direct. [Entertainment Weekly]
• "Paris Ditches Doug for the Night" ... or just managed to attend a party hosted by her sister Nicky Hilton to benefit the Step Up Women's network without her boyfriend glued to her side. [E!]
• In the new issue of Cosmopolitan Kim Kardashian says that some people think she's "famous for all the wrong reasons" but "I'm an entrepreneur...'ambitious' is my middle name." [People]

• Julia Roberts is in India shooting Eat, Pray, Love, and security is tight on the film set:

50 local police officers and security officers are guarding Julia; yet kids and villagers are climbing trees and rooftops to get a glimpse of the Hollywood star. [AP]

• Michael Jackson is making money at the box office: This Is It accounted for 71% of all sales yesterday on the ticket site fandango.com. [NY Daily News]
• Madonna might marry boyfriend Jesus Luz, according to reports. She apparently likes how he checks in all the time and understands that she is self-involved — plus, says a source, "the sex is scorching hot." Husband material! [Daily Mail]
• This column claims that Penelope Cruz must be pregnant: She went to an OB/GYN with boyfriend Javier Bardem. Maybe he just tagged along for her Pap smear? [NY Daily News]
• Teri Hatcher, who was a guest on Friday's (canceled) episode of The Tonight Show, says that Conan O'Brien has a concussion: "We did this bit and at the very end, when we ran in to cross the finish line, he slipped as he was crossing the finish line and hit his head… And the thing was, I was in front of him so I didn't see it initially. He didn't get off floor right a way, but then he [seemed] like he recovered and [pulled] it together, and they did an instant replay, and you could really see his head hit the floor. He did go to the hospital and he does have a concussion." [ET]
• Sources say Kanye West has an alcohol problem. "He's been boozing heavily ever since his mother died," an insider says. [Showbiz Spy]
• Kanye West was seen acting "reserved, quiet and humble for once." [Gatecrasher]
• "Roman Polanski's Arrest Could Lead to Extradition."[NY Times]
• "Roman Polanski's arrest in Switzerland could lead to diplomatic row." [Times Of London]
• "Poland, France seek Polanski's release." [USA Today]
• "France, Poland want Polanski released on bail." [AP]
• "'Outraged' Roman Polanski's wife vows to fight extradition to U.S. after he is arrested over 1977 underage sex charge." [Daily Mail]
• "Roman Polanski is weighing his legal options after his arrest Saturday at the Zurich Airport. If he agrees to allow extradition, he could be sent to the U.S. within a few days. If he fights the order, it could take several months for the case to get through Swiss courts." [Variety]
• Khloe Kardashian married Lamar Odom on Sunday at a private residence in Beverly Hills. She wore Vera Wang; the flowers were all white; preparation for the nuptials were covered by cameras from E!. [People]
• The wedding will air on E!'s Keeping Up With The Kardashians, in case you weren't clear on that. [NY Daily News]
• Here's the thing: E! agreed to pick up the $1 million tab for Khloe Kardashian's wedding only if it was staged by Sunday — that way it could open the new seaason of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But since Lamar Odom's lawyers didn't have time to do a pre-nup, yesterday's "wedding" may not have been legally binding. [NY Post]
• Padma Lakshmi, 39, is reportedly pregnant with her first child by boyfriend Manu Nathan, 27. [JustJared]
• Clive Owen is a Liverpool football (soccer) fan, and watched a game in a NYC sports bar with other fans, only one of whom asked, "What was it like snogging Julia Roberts?" [The New Yorker]
• Amy Winehouse's father, Mitch, will join the cast of I'm A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here. [Ireland Online]
• Kate Moss: Making music her focus? She has registered as a songwriter and publisher with the Performing Rights Society, where artists can protect any future royalties from their records. [Daily Express]
• Not that Kate Moss isn't modeling — she's totally the G in Paris Vogue. [TheLifeFiles]
• Simon Cowell is about to become the highest-paid star on TV — with his deal to bring X Factor to the U.S. (he'll producer, not appear on the show) — Cowell will make $103 million by next fall. That's more than Oprah, if you don't include her "empire" earnings. [NY Post]
• The Strokes guitarist Albert Hammond Jr. has checked into rehab; ex-girlfriend Agyness Deyn was seen out with her old flame, Miles Kane, during fashion week. [Daily Mail]
• "[John Travolta's] public acknowledgement that his son, who died in January, was autistic has former Scientologists convinced that he will leave the church-which they say has little tolerance for chronic conditions." [The Daily Beast]
• Rihanna was in Venice for her manager's wedding, and naturally, she posed with and signed an autograph for an Italian monk. He looks incredibly happy. [Daily Mail]
• "Jude Law is refusing to see his newborn daughter until a DNA test proves he is the father, according to new reports." [Daily Express]
• Has Jude Law banned interviewers from asking him about his new daughter? A source says yes, and that's why he didn't talk about it on Regis & Kelly. Jude's rep says "No subjects are banned." [Page Six]
• Jamie Kennedy has reportedly been cheating on Jennifer Love Hewitt with his ex-girlfriend, Shannon Funk. Funk was Britney Spears' assistant for a while. [Prz]
• Megan Fox told Nylon magazine that she thinks she's "really overexposed," which may be one of her most astute quotes ever. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Andrew Shue and the Today show's Amy Robach: Engaged. [People]
• Paris Hilton drove her new pink Bentley to the launch of a jewelry line, where the organizers offered her a free diamond pendant and she "begged and begged to take the matching earrings, too." Vivica A. Fox was at the same event and refused a free diamond bracelet, saying: "I'll buy it myself from my next paycheck." [Page Six]
• Kristen Bell hearts butterscotch pudding. [People]
• 75-year-old Larry King has been interviewing celebrities since 1985; his contract with CNN is set to expire in 18 months. Should he retire, who would take his place? Ryan Seacrest, Katie Couric and Joy Behar are reported contenders. [Page Six]
• Housewife Bethenny Frankel has been "gradually cutting ties" with the other housewives "since news that she'd get her own show on Bravo broke during the summer months." [Gatecrasher]
• Even though Marilyn Manson announced that he has the swine flu, his reps are denying that he is sick, which is just weird. [Gatecrasher]
• Justin Guarini was married over the weekend and the ceremony featured music by Radiohead, Paramore and Peter Gabriel — played by a string quartet. [People]
• Actress/model Angie Everhart denies that British royal Prince Andrew is the father of the baby boy she gave birth to in July. She says: "Just because I've been linked romantically with him in the past it doesn't mean I am still going to bed with him. Whether I am or not is nobody's business but ours… Kayden's daddy is someone who is not in the public eye." [Daily Express]
• This compilation of quotes from Robbie Williams is hilarious. [Guardian]
• "I never tried hard at anything. I was born smart on a very working-class estate. A couple of people I knew went to university apart from me, but all the way through I was the smartest kid in the school. That's luck, but I was proud of it. And I was also proud of doing well without trying. As you get older, and it took me a long time to realise it, that's a disgusting attitude, revolting. It's ignorant and it's a tragic waste, and I realised that the work itself is the reward. The struggle itself is the reward." — Ricky Gervais. [Guardian]
• "I knew my character was going to be pregnant the entire first season, so I figured it was a good time to have another kid." — Jenna Elfman, on being pregnant at the same time as her character in her new show Accidentally On Purpose. [USA Today]
• "The one through-line is the big accent and the in-your-face attitude. I'm definitely stereotyped and I'm very OK with that. I get super bored playing bland, normal girls." — Drea de Matteo, on playing a "tough broad" on Desperate Housewives, who sounds a lot like her Sopranos character. [Time]
• "I just passed my driving test. Took me 60 years, but I did it! For the first time in my life, I'm legal to drive, so watch out!" — Ozzy Osbourne. [MSNBC]
• "When I asked him what he envisioned, he mentioned Serge and Brigitte, Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra. So for me, I kind of saw it more as 'he said, she said' duets, as opposed to something that was just two people singing together. It's the kind of interplay between a male perspective and a female perspective, so they were a great example of that." — Scarlett Johansson on her duets with Pete Yorn. [NPR]
• "I wish a happy birthday to Sophia Loren, my splendid twin, and I ask her to stop wearing fur — that is the best gift she could offer me." — Brigitte Bardot, who, like Loren, turned 75 this week. [AFP]
• "She doesn't have a penis. She came to my house in her underwear and I saw no hint of a penis. She thought it was appropriate attire. She can get away with it. She knows what she's doing. She ain't no fool. She's brilliant. I think she's a good role model for girls. She plays with sex and makes it unsexy on purpose - so outrageous it's approachable."— Mika, on Lady Gaga. [ONTD via MTV.au]

Tyra said that she's finally learning how to "celebrate" her success. In this clip, she discusses her recent weight loss and how she likes her salad prepared.


In this clip, she makes Larry touch her "natural" hair, which she admits is actually chemically straightened and dyed.

Earlier: ANTM Recap: Tyra, Stop Trying To Make Smize Happen

• Kate Gosselin says that though Jon Gosselin called the breeder and had their two family dogs taken away, "They'll come back I'm sure at some point. But for now, I just needed a break."

• She explained: "He called the breeder and took them back for a short period of time. I'm feeling like I have not enough time to take care of my kids, let alone give the dogs what they need, and the kids surprisingly weren't that upset about it." Kate added that she's amazed by the strength of the dogs saying, "They sleep in a metal crate... a huge metal crate. They bent the bars and got out. I think in the winter I'm going to have them pull the kids in a sleigh." [Radar Online]
• On last night's episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8, Kate Gosselin took her kids to an Amish farm, then took her daughter Cara to the radiologist to get her foot scanned. Jon did not appear on the episode and Kate said, "It feels very normal to be here by myself, to take care of the kids not with Jon but with a babysitter... It's starting to feel like the pity party is gone." [People]
• Here's one way to combat bullying: Amy Winehouse showed up at a school in London and spit on and insulted a girl she heard was bullying her 13-year-old goddaughter Dionne Bromfield. After a bystander broke up the incident Amy signed a few autographs and left. [Radar Online]
• Amy Winehouse has started working with Mark Ronson again on her third album. Rapper Lethal Bizzle says, "I was talking to Mark about Amy. He thinks she's getting better and they are working together and will start recording soon. Everything he does is awesome. I think he's brilliant and was excited when he wanted to work on my album. Me and Amy go way back too. We did gigs when I was in a band called More Fire Crew. She was proper cool. I reckon it will be another great album." [The Sun]
• A YouTube video of Beyonce singing "Halo" to 11-year-old cancer patient Chelsea James in Australia has gone viral. Watch it here: [News.com.au]
• Kelly Osbourne reportedly broke down in tears before her performance on Dancing With the Stars last night because she got nervous and texted her mother Sharon, but security wouldn't let her in. "Sharon didn't have the proper credentials," says a source from the show. "Ever since last season's scare with Shawn Johnson and her stalker, security has been beefed up big time." [Perez Hilton]
• Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman's play A Steady Rain was one of the top three earners on Broadway last week. It's rare for a non-musical to crack the top 10. [Variety]
• Michael Lawrance Kozelka, who was arrested for allegedly stalking Jewel, last week after showing up to her house with a pocket knife and a dog. the local sheriff says, "He was not aggressive and was not mad... He just said he was on a mission from God, that God told him to come to Stephenville and led him to this ranch." [AP]
• The CW announced that Heather Locklear will guest star on the new Melrose Place by issuing a press release titled, "The Bitch Is Back!" [Mercury News]
• Police inspector Andrew Wells testified in the John Travolta extortion trial today that John initially wanted his son Jett to be taken to the airport instead of a local hospital in the Bahamas. It has been previously reported that John thought it would take just as long to get to Florida, and Jett would get better care there. [TMZ]
• Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are being sued by a pair of paparazzi who claim their bodyguards shot at them during after their wedding in Costa Rica. They say they had clearance to take pictures from a nearby property, but bodyguards harassed them anyway, then shot at them with pistols as they tried to escape in their SUV. [TMZ]
• Ashton Kutcher's Facebook video series KatalystHQ is a hit. So far it has been viewed by 9 million people since its February debut. [Media Week]
• In the video at the link celebrities including Will Ferrell and Jon Hamm appear in a fake PSA urging Americans to think about the plight of the health insurance companies if Obama manages to overhaul the health care system. [Politico]
• Oksana Grigorieva says even though she's pregnant with Mel Gibson's baby, they haven't even considered marriage. "Actually we have no plans to marry whatsoever," she said. "I haven't thought about it – we haven't spoken about it." [People]
• Scott Storch ended his friendship with Brandon Davis because Davis allegedly confessed to stealing one of his diamond watches. [Contact Music]
• Eminem's music publisher Eight Mile Style LLC is suing Apple for copyright infringement for allegedly selling 93 of his songs on iTunes without permission. [AP]
• Gina Gershon's former agents are suing her because they claim they got her a job on Broadway, but she refused to pay them the 10% commission on the deal. The suit describes her as a "user" who "chooses to forget about those people who help her in her career." [TMZ]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom just registered at Williams Sonoma, so their guest have less than a week to pick up a gift for their wedding on Sunday. [TMZ]
• Katie Price says her friendship with her "dressage instructor" Andrew Gould angered her ex-husband Peter Andre and contributed to their breakup. [Daily Mail]
• Kevin Federline has signed on for the next season of Celebrity Fit Club. His ex Shar Jackson and Bobby Brown will also be on the show. [TMZ]
• Seth Green is the new spokesman for Butterfinger. He'll keep using Bart Simpson's line, "Nobody's gonna lay a finger on my Butterfinger." [Brandweek]
• Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom will marry on Sunday at the home of family friend and music manager Irving Azoff. A source says, "It will be a very detailed and classy affair." [People]
• Though Bruce Willis married Emma Heming in March, he says it "seems like less than a month. She's not only my best friend, but my wife." [People]
• Jeweler Neil Lane says Zooey Deschanel and Benjamin Gibbard were "absolutely adorable" when they came in to pick out their wedding rings last month. There are pictures of Zooey's rings here: [People]
• Jordan Belfi says of his character on Entourage, "Adam Davies has become ... one of the few characters on the show that really knows how to get under Ari's skin and push his buttons. Ari is an entertaining character, and it's fun to watch him go after things, but people really enjoy kind of when Ari's off balance." [CNN]
• Lost star Sonya Walger who will appear on the new show FlashForward, says, "I got married six weeks ago... It's just a sweet thing. I haven't got a better word for it. It's an enormous amount of sweetness." [People]
• Michael Emerson, who plays Ben Linus on Lost, says he wants to be on True Blood with his wife Carrie Preston. "I think it would be fun if I got to play her father," he said. "I would go on any Alan Ball show to do just about anything. I will be the face in the window, I will be the cab driver… I don't want to be a vampire." [Ok]
• Angela Lansbury and Catherine Zeta-Jones will star in a new Broadway production of A Little Night Music beginning in November. [Press Release]
• On October 12 George Takei and his husband Brad Altman will become the first gay couple to appear on The Newlywed Show. Takei says, "We get to show how normal and happy our 22 year relationship is. We got married last year but we've been together for 22 years, so we may have a leg up on the other newlyweds!" [Fancast]
• Mackenzie Phillips will appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show tomorrow to talk about how she hid in her home, made compulsive purchases and struggled with personal issues. She's expected to reveal a family secret she's kept hidden for 31 years. [CNN]
• When asked how she juggles motherhood and her career Jennifer Garner said, "You just take it one day at a time. Oh gosh, let me know when you figure that out. I don't think anyone has it." [People]
• Leelee Sobieski, who is expecting her first child later this year says, "I think I like eating what little kids eat... I eat less ice cream now than I did before because the baby takes up space." [People]
• "Apparently, there's a lot of debate going on right now, whether I'm qualified or not to be the new judge on 'American Idol'... I'll tell you right now, how I know I'm going to be a great judge — because I've spent my whole life being judged. So, I know what it's like. So, I will be kind. I will be compassionate. I will be empathetic, and I will be truthful. I will be an honest judge without being mean." — Ellen DeGeneres [Entertainment Tonight]
• Taye Diggs says that since Idina Menzel gave birth to their son Walker last month, "It's been amazing just to come home to that little dude... Every time I leave the house, it just makes me want to come back even more. It's just a great prize waiting for me." He added, "I have a newfound respect and admiration that borders on worship of my wife... Just to see her turn into a mother overnight is amazing." [People]
• Master interviewer Larry King asked Tyra Banks if she still "thinks like a fat person" now that she's lost weight. She replied: " I don't actually. You know... when I told the world to kiss my fat ass, I remained that size for two years. I maintained it with my ice cream and my salad with ranch and dressing and croutons and bacon bits. Like I — I didn't look at myself even on television and think that I was too big or — I don't know. I didn't — it didn't connect. But since I have lost a lot of weight, and it started with the — a weight loss challenge, actually at the top of this year. So I'm two years after 'kiss my fat ass.'" [CNN]

• In the teaser footage from Larry King Live, it seemed like Chris Brown didn't remember assaulting Rihanna. But Chris has released a statement which reads:

"There have been reports on the Internet that I didn't remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight. That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like four or five times – and when you look at the entire interview you will see it is not representative of what I said. The first four times – or however many times it was – I gave the same answer – which was that I didn't think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn't fair to Rihanna. The fifth time – or whatever it was – I just misspoke. I was asked, 'Do you remember doing it?' and I said, 'No.' Of course I remember what happened. Several times during the interview, my mother said that I came to her right afterwards and told her everything. But it was and still is a blur. And yes, I still can't believe it happened because it is not me or who I am, nor is what happened like anything I have ever done before." There's more, but it's similarly vague. He does say he wants to talk to a counselor about what happened and how to channel his anger. [People, TMZ]

• Madonna and Jesus Luz were at the Western Wall in Jerusalem's Old City, and caused a "frenzy" of onlookers and paparazzi. Madonna wore high heels, blue jeans and a black jacket; Jesus wore a black T-shirt and a blank expression. [Daily Mail]
• In an interview with TV Guide, Paula Abdul talks about her emotional farewell from American Idol. "You know, to say ‘no regrets' isn't easy," Paula said. "I feel like I have been such a big, huge part of the success of the show from day one. I loved being able to be the artist's artist; being there from my point of view of knowing what it feels like to be vulnerable and to be out there wanting to achieve the most magical moment in a minute and 30 seconds. To be able to do that was an amazing experience and the show was wonderful for me in that regard." But she will not be taken advantage of! "I stand on principle where many people stand on money," she explained. "I'm a hard-working artist. I've lasted in this business for 23 years. And you can't do that unless you are good at what you do. I believe in myself and you have to have your own self-respect." [MSNBC]
• Paula Abdul will be on TV — playing a judge on Drop Dead Diva and hosting VH1's Divas concert. [USA Today]
• While in Las Vegas, Jon Gosselin was seen jewelry shopping. He looked at a few pinky rings, but mostly checked out engagement rings. [Radar Online]
• Paris Jackson got her hair cut and her security collected the hair from the floor and put it in a bag so no one could take a strand and do some kind of DNA test. [MSNBC via Daily Mail]
• Michael Jackson had been requesting hospital-grade sedatives in order to sleep since 1994. [MSNBC]
• OMG: Soleil Moon Frye dressed up as Punky Brewster for her Twitter fans. Sunburst hair barrettes, stripey socks, a key around the neck. Holy macanoli. Video here. [TMZ, Ustream]
• Pete Wentz is working on a new comic book series, Fall Out Toy Works, and says: "I think after you have a kid, all of a sudden you want to do things that your kid can see." But the comic image at the link depicts robot girl with giant breasts and a mini-waist, which doesn't seem appropriate for 9-month-old Bronx. [USA Today]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters were not even watching the Daytime Emmy Awards when The View won this year, after 11 years on the air. Joy Behar joked: "I always said that the key to success was showing up - this time I was wrong." [Gatecrasher]
• "Consider this year's slate of Emmy nominees for best actress in a drama: Sally Field, 62; Holly Hunter, 50; Glenn Close, 62; Mariska Hargitay, 45, and Kyra Sedgwick, 43. The single exception on the list is Elisabeth Moss, the ambitious, naive Peggy Olson in Mad Men, which recently returned for its third season. If Moss, who is 27, were to win, she would be the youngest winner in the category's history." [Philadelphia Inquirer]
• Kim Mathers did an interview with a Detroit radio station about her ex-husband, Eminem. She did not hold back, saying: "I can't stand him. He's an absolutely horrible person and he gets worse every day. I vomit in my mouth whenever I'm around him or I hear his name. There's nothing left in me for him. Nothing at all. He's not very well endowed. If you're going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work." [The Sun]
• Real Housewives Of New York City is filming again; a crew was seen at Jill Zarin's fabric firm yesterday. But a source says there are two new women "waiting in the wings." [Page Six]
• Here's the reason Amy Winehouse was seen with magic marker freckles on her nose: Blake Fielder-Civil used to call her his "lioness." A source says: "She painted the orange marks on her nose and wore a tiger-print top so that Blake would notice." Uh, do lions have freckles? [The Sun]
• Jay-Z will mark the eighth anniversary of 9/11 with a concert to benefit the families of New York's Finest and Bravest who died that day. [Page Six]
• Interested in a story linking Sharon Osbourne, Ryan Jenkins, Jasmine Fiore, Michael Jackson, Tommy Lee Jones ... and Kevin Bacon? [TMZ]
• Keanu Reeves will star in and produce Henry's Crime, a romcom about a bighearted man who is falsely accused of robbing a bank in Buffalo. [Variety]
• Tia and Tamera Mowry will star in a Lifetime move called Double Wedding. Twin sisters begin dating the same man; cue hijinks. [Variety]
• In an interview to air on September 11, ESPN reporter Erin Andrews tells Oprah that having secretly taped nude footage of her on the internet was a "nightmare." [AP]
• "Stephen Fry: gorillas staring at my moobs inspired weight loss. Stephen Fry has said he was inspired to lose five-stone in weight when he noticed gorillas eyeing-up his ''man boobs'' with jealousy." [Telegraph]
• Shania Twain has been "moving on" since her marriage broke up last year: She is nnow with the husband of the woman her husband had an affair with and will be a guest judge on American Idol. [Reuters]
• Whatshername has spent £150,000 on a new dressage horse "which she is calling Cross Dresser." [The Sun]
• Whatshername met her new boyfriend's parents. [Mirror]
• "I was raped when I was younger, more than once." — Katie "Jordan" Price. [The Sun]
• "[When I first met him] he was wearing an EPMD T-shirt, which let me know he knew and loved classic hip-hop music and was a true fan of the culture. He was excited to meet me and told me what the show I used to host, Yo! MTV Raps, meant to his music development. He really wanted me to sign his DVD of my film Wild Style, which I sadly never got to do. I would later check him out in numerous clips on YouTube where I could see he was truly talented and was elevating the DJ game to new heights along with Travis Barker on the drums. DJ AM and I would exchange small messages on Twitter and I'd often notice him tweet about how he'd landed safely in whatever town he was in as a year ago he survived that tragic plane crash. His last tweet and looking at his @djam twitter page now looks like a monument to a fallen soldier in the culture war, which he was winning. R.I.P. DJ AM...and the BEAT GOES ON!!!!" — Fab Five Freddy. [The Daily Beast]
• "I try to [Twitter]. My parents are way better at it, obviously, than me. I keep trying to figure out, like, do people really care if I'm, like, 'hey, I'm doing my laundry!' [laughs] I keep trying to figure it out, but I'm working on it." — Rumer Willis. She also reveals that her middle sister, Scout, is fluent in French. [JustJared]
• "My early life from infancy to leaving home at 16 was spent in care. I had some wonderful social workers who supported me and helped me achieve my goals in life. That's why it's important to recruit more social workers. There are many people out there, whether they be children, families, vulnerable adults, even the aged, who need a social worker. I want to enable them to have the support they need. Help us to help them, and maybe one day they may help you." — Samantha Morton. [Guardian]
• "If you are old you're not going to play young leads any more, that's a fact. In the film world, the camera loves a young person, man or woman. That's a fact... None of these things are ever going to change. So absorb it, live with it, get over it. I'm not being unkind, but I'm just saying millions of crones like me shouldn't suddenly be given the lead in things, just because we're damn old and very ... sort of recalcitrant." — Joanna Lumley. [Telegraph]
• "There was a photo of me with weird sunglasses on and a green sweatshirt, some striped thing, with tights and cowboy boots. Something really random where in some sense it's me. To this day, I have never read the article. I just saw the photo and thought, 'God, I look crazy in that photograph!' " — Mary-Kate Olsen. [Page Six]

• Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley: Headed for divorce? According to sources:

She's been "partying hard and hanging with a number of male admirers." The two, married in 2006, have not been photographed together since last December. [Gatecrasher]

• Chris Brown sat down with Larry King last night for a "no-holds-barred chat." Expect it to air sometime next week. Interesting that it wasn't not live — no one could call in or Tweet and tell Chris how they really feel about him. [E!]
• Meanwhile Rihanna went dancing with Serena Williams, Queen Latifah and Paula Patton. [Gatecrasher]
• At her concert in Bucharest, Madonna spoke out against the discrimination of Gypsies. She said it made her "sad" that the Roma peple were discriminated against. The crowd booed. [AP]
• These blurry pix are the "three slick hipsters" who allegedly ransacked Lindsay Lohan's house. [NY Daily News]
• WTF: Some fans were escorted from their seats by security for "dancing too provocatively" at the Britney Spears concert in NYC on Tuesday. This is the same woman who shimmied half-naked with a snake while moaning "I'm a slave for you," right? [Page Six]
• Jon Gosselin's reaction to Kate Gosselin's interview with Larry King: "She didn't say anything. She just kept on redirecting and avoiding answering the questions." Jon adds: "When Larry's ready for me, I can answer questions." [MSNBC]
• Cops have located Jasmine Fiore's Mercedes, missing since her murder. Ryan Jenkins was seen leaving a hotel near San Diego on August 14 in the car — carrying a suitcase — it was the same suitcase that was later found to contain Fiore's body. [TMZ]
• Uh-oh: Gerard Butler's pug, Lolita, got into an "altercation" with a greyhound. The greyhound allegedly bit Gerard's dog twice — but the greyhound's owner says that Gerard's dog wasn't on a leash and that Gerard hit his greyhound on the head and shouted, "That dog should be put down!" [MSNBC Scoop]
• Ashley Olsen wore corduroy trousers and a turban to a Girl Talk concert in Brooklyn on Saturday. It was 90°. [Gatecrasher]
• Heidi Klum gets naked in her new coffee-table book, Rankin's Heidilicious, out in October. She says: "It's very naughty. I've been shooting with this photographer, Rankin, for seven years, and working with him is fun because he always makes me look different. And he always gets me to take my clothes off for some reason. We'll do some job, and then he'll say, 'Why don't we shoot some more things,' and I'll wind up without anything on." [E!]
• Lily Allen looks effing hot on the cover of Elle UK. Inside she says: "I wish I'd never written [my song] 'Not Fair.' You know, the thought honestly - really, honestly - never even occurred to me that it would scare men. I thought it might empower women. I thought women would go: 'Oh God, yes, at last somebody is saying it.' I didn't think it would put me in a position where guys would be like, 'Whoa, no, I'm not sleeping with you in case you write something about it!'" [The Sun]
• Derek Jeter and MInka Kelly: Secretly engaged. [Page Six]
• Anne Heche was on Letterman last night and bashed her ex-husband, Coley Laffoon. She called him a "lazy ass" and when asked by Letterman what Lafdoon does for a living, Heche said: "He goes out to the mailbox and he opens up the little mailbox door and goes, 'Oh! I got a check from Anne! Oh! I got a check from Anne! Yay!'" [People]
• Evan Rachel Wood spills some details about her True Blood character Queen Sophie-Ann: "She's not necessarily a lesbian. Her human partner is a girl, but I'm pretty sure she goes both ways [laughs]. I think vampires are like that in general." In addition, that interview links to an Alexander Skarsgård shower scene. Le sigh. [E!, E!]
• Singer, songwriter, Mandy Moore's husband and now blogger: Ryan Adams will be writing a video game column for website The Awl. [Page Six]
• Mad Men's Christina Hendricks on the big screen! She will star alongside Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel in the romance Life As We Know It. [Variety]
• Blake Lively has joined the cast of Ben Affleck's crime thriller The Town, which also stars Jon Hamm. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Paulina Porizkova blogs: "I feel the need to constantly prove I'm not some dumb model." So she reads "lengthy sagas set in hot foreign lands." Her choices include: A Suitable Boy, The Soldier of the Great War, and Rain of Gold. "None of these books are under 500 pages," she writes, "so once read, they can be used to tone biceps or in step class." [Page Six via Modelinia.com]
• Are we supposed to be focusing on Carrie Ann Inaba's crotch in this "spay or neuter today" PETA ad? [People]
• Tom Sizemore: Charged with spousal battery. [TMZ]
• Bob Dylan's Christmas album: Not a joke. [NY Daily News]
• "Malaysia's government has barred Muslims from a concert by U.S. hip-hop stars the Black Eyed Peas next month because the event is organized by Irish beer giant Guinness, an official said Thursday." [AP]
• The new Darren Aronofsky film Black Swan has an explicit sex scene — "not just nice sweet innocent sex, we're talking ecstasy-induced, hungry, angry sex." This paper claims: "No wonder Darren didn't want Rachel Weisz, mother to his three-year-old child, to star." Huh. Well. Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis will star instead. [Daily Express]
• Joanne Woodward will take over her late husband Paul Newman's film project, Lucky Them, starring Marisa Tomei, which starts shooting in the fall. [Page Six]
• T-Mobile is pushing myTouch 3G, the product competing with the iPhone, and Whoopi Goldberg will star in some of the ads. Way less creepy than that Palm Pre lady. [AdWeek]
• A source close to Ryan O'Neal says there is no truth to the rumor that Redmond is getting his own reality show. [UPI]
• Robin Williams decided to get rid of his body hair for new movie World's Greatest Dad. "I shaved because if you don't, it's, like, animal-rights issues," he says. "With this, I said to [writer-director Bobcat Goldthwait], 'I think for this scene, I should take everything off because at this point he's literally shedding everything.' It's a breakdown, but in a weird way, a positive one." [LA Times]
• Isaiah Washington and his wife have fallen behind on their house payments and face eviction; the landlord claims the former Grey's Anatomy star owes $100,000 in rent. [USA Today]
• "The less and less you 'act,' great. I had a great acting teacher at Juilliard who said, 'Sometimes, Method acting can be like urinating in brown corduroy pants: You feel wonderful, and we see nothing.' " — Robin Williams. [LA Times]
• "I think women are bitchy. That's the difference. They'll smile at you and then kill you. The men just give it right at you. Oprah's just very cold. Oprah, if she don't need you, she don't know you. Streisand, they say she's desperately shy. I think when you've got $600million, take lessons on how not to be shy. If you've got $600million, say hello to everybody. They gave it to you." — Joan Rivers. [Daily Express]
• "Someone is going to take a tweezer to those brows, and I think her hair's going to change up a little bit. It's definitely time for her to sort of grow up a little bit. People are freaking out. There's a huge sort of battle, half the people are like, get them off! And other people are like, no! It's Betty! She's always going to be Betty, but yeah, the braces are gone, the brows are being trimmed, and she's going to get a little bit more of a swoop." — Ana Ortiz, aka Hilda on the upcoming changes on Ugly Betty. [NY Mag]
• "Being German, I had a pretty precise idea of what a German movie star would be like. But I've never been shot at in a film. Most of those scenes are actually quite funny to shoot. The blood is sticky, everything sticks to you and you're pretending to be in pain… I'm a big fan personally. Most actors are. All his movies are performance driven and he writes incredibly well for women. I loved Pam Grier in Jackie Brown." — Diane Kruger, on being in Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds. [HuffPo]
• "Man, we got so beaten over the head for that! It's not like the four boys and I wrote it. You get hired to do it, they give you a script and you learn your lines. If I could have, I would have done the whole thing in German, with subtitles-everyone in dirndls and on swings and milking cows. Each nominee would have had to ride in on a big cow and milk it." — Heidi Klum, on hosting the Emmys last year. [E!]