[Beverly Hills, November 4. Image via Splash.]

I didn't get one!

• The officially-designated GOP scapegoat for Wardrobe-gate appears to be McCain aide Nicolle Wallace (left), despite the fact that I guarantee she knows how to put together a wardrobe for less than $150,000. Wallace isn't "going to engage" with people until after the campaign, but she knows the score and her memory doesn't even have to be that long. [Think Progress, Politico]
• Speaking of the score, Vanity Fair and the National Security News Service are apparently pursuing reports that McCain killed a guy in a car accident (implication: drunk driving) in 1964 and the Navy is still covering it up. Who knew the October surprise would be about McCain? Karl Rove must really hate him. [Huffington Post]
• Joe The Motherfucking Plumber officially endorsed McCain today, and said that Obama would be the end of Israel. What the fuck does JTMP know about Israel? Joe doesn't know jack, actually, and even Fox News had to admit that. [CBS, Huffington Post]

• Though Palin yesterday refused to be a Maverick and call on convicted felon Senator Ted Stevens to resign, John McCain decided he could. So he did. [NY Times]
• Rachel Maddow's viewership is so far up, she can claim to have beat Larry King in one demo. One demo today, tomorrow...all of them. [TV Newser]
• The Dow, too, finally decided to get up. That'll last until it falls again, then goes up, down, up, down and apparently I need to stop watching so much porn. [Washington Post]
• Florida Governor Charlie Crist decided to get back at McCain for not choosing him as the running mate — or, possibly, do the right thing for the right reasons, stranger things have happened — and extended early voting hours in Florida. Someone's gonna get re-elected. [Politico]

Here's the news: Barack Obama will be on the Daily Show tomorrow night!! According to the Comedy Central website, "We just got word that the studio is in full lock down mode. After all, Jon barely escaped his previous interview with this tax-and-spend terrorist of the center-left alive." Wheee!

Campbell Brown [The Daily Show]
Barack Obama To Appear On The Daily Show Wednesday

Earlier: Campbell Brown Turns McCain's Accusation Of Sexism On Its Head

Related: CNN, John McCain's Camp At Odds Following Confrontational Campbell Brown Interview [LAT]

• Treasury Secretary Paulson and Fed Chair Bernanke were on the Hill today, metaphorical hats in hands, asking for gobs of money and the ability to spend it with no oversight. Unlike what Sarah Palin actually said about the Bridge To Nowhere, Congress told them, "No thanks." [Washington Post]
• Dick Cheney tried his hand at asking nicely, but House Republicans, knowing Cheney well, told him to go fuck himself. A couple of them then fist-bumped Pat Leahy on the way out of the meeting. [Politico]
• Ahmadinejad doesn't care who we elect because he plans to keep building his nukes regardless. [CNN]
• The Supreme Court issued a stay of execution for a Georgia man convicted of killing a police office on the sole basis of eyewitness testimony since recanted. Scalia, Alito and Roberts must have taken a really long lunch today. [CNN]

• Rachel Maddow is kicking Larry King's wrinkly old-man ass. [Huffington Post]
• Even Fox News thinks it's "unprecedented" that McCain and Palin aren't allowing reporters to even shout questions at them. No, really. They're pissed too. [Huffington Post]
• But it's totally in line with other potential McCain Administration policies, like not talking to Israel, Syrian or the Palestinians about that whole peace-process thing. That bores Johnny. [JTA]
• Rush Limbaugh: more of a fucked-up racist piece of shit than you thought. [Think Progress]
• And, finally, some men's delusions know no bounds. [Politico]

• The Dow lost about another 450 points today even though the federal government has decided to buy out (read: nationalize) anything they need to to keep out economy from collapsing. [Washington Post]
• Speaking of, Morgan Stanley might merge with Wachovia, which would make Goldman Sachs the only remaining stand-alone investment bank in the United States. Seriously. [NY Times]
• But it's all going to be okay because the Bush Administration might use the end of its term in office to create a whole new agency dedicated to buying up all the bad debt and defunct financial institutions that its policies created in the last 7.5 years. Hey, did I mention the word "nationalization" already? Good. [NY Times]
• Hey, look! Something shiny! Don't watch the end of capitalism! Lori Drew is moving her family to an undisclosed location. [St. Charles Journal]

• Hillary Clinton canceled an appearance at an anti-Iran rally because the organizers thought it would be a supercoolfun idea to put her on the dais with Sarah Palin less than two months before the election and didn't think it necessary to inform her. Um, obviously. [Associated Press]
• The polls show McCain and Obama pretty damn tight in too damn many battleground states. [Marc Ambinder]
• Known elitist Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild and former major Democratic figure says all kinds of unbelievable crap about why she's now supporting McCain, but the funniest part is when she says it's about voter disenfranchisement and didn't know that the Republicans are actively seeking to disenfranchise legal voters in the general election to help he new best buddy. Ok, here's a woman you can hate on. Please, enjoy. [Huffington Post]
• McCain and Palin will be doing their deathly tango on Larry King tonight (and feel free to use this as an open thread if you're not watching Project Runway), but before that Swampland's Ana Marie Cox and I will be liveblogging her own torture: sitting through a McCain townhall meeting. Join us back here at 7! [Think Progress]

MEGAN: Morning! People has this stupid teaser on its webpage for its cover story on Elizabeth Edwards' feelings told by other people as though people like you and I are going to run out and buy the magazine? I'd be tempted to make an appointment with my acupuncturist who has a description and gets it in the office, which costs a hell of a lot more money but is more useful than a magazine. Anyway, apparently, it hurt to hear that her husband was sticking his penis in other women. Has your curiosity been satiated?

DAVID: I don't feel like I'll have a real handle on the story until Mike Allen at the Politico has interviewed Elizabeth about her Hollywood crushes, though.

MEGAN: I'll be she thinks George Clooney is cute.

DAVID: Well, clearly the lesson from all this is that we shouldn't vote for John Edwards in November. Now, can we move along, people?

MEGAN: Wait, though, can we go back to Rush Limbaugh for a second? Because I think I might be allowed to crush on Keith Olbermann after he went after Rush last night. (Skip to minute 3, if you want to see it.)

DAVID: Oh, sweet. I need to watch that. Olbermann is uneven for me. Sometimes he's awesome and then other times he goes so far over the top. Whereas my love for Rachel Maddow is unconditional and all-consuming.

MEGAN: Yes, I have to agree about Rachel, but, um, Keith could, say, call me in Denver and yell about how awesome smart women are for a while.

DAVID: So, what do you think about Arkansas? Do you feel like the shooting was politically motivated?

MEGAN: I mean, if it wasn't politically motivated, why Gwatney in particular?

DAVID: Most reports I'm seeing are refraining from speculation about motivation, but I have a sinking feeling in my stomach that this is exactly what I was talking about yesterday with the Limbots going insane and lashing out at Librull Amurrka. Of course, the fact that Righty screamer Michelle Malkin felt the need to issue a denial of involvement before the body was even cold speaks volumes to me.

MEGAN: Some Internet troll types think it's another Clinton conspiracy. For real.

DAVID: Conservatism, I am starting to believe, is a form of mental illness. Malkin is up to her old tricks again of publishing the contact information of people who challenge her. If you go down that thread and look, Malkin published some detractor's email address and full name and her commenters are bragging about looking up the guy's mother's name and threatening her.

MEGAN: Hey, you know, that shit got some dudes a NY Times Magazine cover story, so...

DAVID: Delightful people. Funny how much her denial of blame yesterday reminds me of her denial of blame in the death of UC Santa Cruz administrator Denice Denton.

MEGAN: Yes, we get it, Michelle, you are not personally responsible for all the evil in the world, not even the evil committed by your fans. Speaking of pissing off Michelle's fans, did you see that the Census Bureau came out with new figures that say white people won't be the majority by 2042? Interesting timing on that one.

DAVID: Except that she is. But speaking of trolls, did you see Larry King last night? Larry King and Paul Waldman handed Obama-bashing Jerome Corsi's his ass on a pizza.

HA! Segway jinx! Yes, 2042 is when Mark Penn's target voters will no longer be the top dogs. To tell you the truth, I'm a little disappointed because I thought that white people were already outnumbered.

MEGAN: I mean, is it just a little interesting to you that the government comes out with these figures that we've all know for ages now that prompt headlines like White Americans no longer a majority by 2042 a mere 11 days before the start of the first Democratic convention which will make Obama (an African-American) the first major- party candidate for President? Or am I just that paranoid?

DAVID: When it comes to the perfidy of corporate media, I don't think you can ever be too paranoid, can you?

MEGAN: Possibly not.

DAVID: I mean, you've got Karl Rove's buttboy in at the top of the AP, GE owns NBC and MSNBC, then there's ClearChannel and Pox News. Even public radio and television are beholden to big money donors like BP and Wal-Mart.

MEGAN: You know what's really funny?

DAVID: Really, Megan, it's all down to you. You alone can tell the world the Truth. What's funny?

MEGAN: A good friend of mine used to work at Alticor, which owns Amway (which, of course) doesn't advertise AND is heavily Republican... and they complain about the perfidy of the corporate media and the influence of advertising dollars, too.

Aaaanyway, back to topical stuff... Want to talk about how this might be the first convention since 1984 that Jesse Jackson doesn't speak at? Or that he'll watch D.C. mayor Adrian Fenty (kind of a cutie) and House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn but not House Ways and Means Committee Chairman Charlie Rangel speak (though, the latter might be because he's had a couple of easily-foreseen ethical scandals crop up recently)?

DAVID: Oh, well, I think that might be for the best, don't you? Maybe he has a pressing gig talking about spaying and neutering at a veterinary convention. Honestly, I think it may be time for Reverend Jackson to spend some more time with his families.

MEGAN: I'm actually kind of disappointed in Charlie Rangel. It's like when people in D.C. said, "No one could be a bigger, more condescending prick who abuses the power of his office than Bill Thomas" he took that as a challenge.

DAVID: Everybody needs goals in life. Charlie was just reaching for that rainbow, living the dream. Can we really fault him for that?

MEGAN: Sort of like the owner of the gay cruising site that's maxed out to McCain.

DAVID: Well, I have a theory about that.

MEGAN: Self-loathing? Or straight entrepreneur?

DAVID: Your gay Republican types thrive in an atmosphere of repression and secrecy. They want their gay sex dirty, shameful, and totally secret. They don't want to have stable gay marriages or adopt kids. They want to get down on it Larry Craig style.

MEGAN: And so he thinks in a McCain administration his cruising site will do better? Actually, given McCain's incredibly gay entourage, that might not be too far off the mark.

DAVID: I've thought about this a lot. I never could understand why someone would be a gay Republican. It's like being a chicken for Col. Sanders.

MEGAN: God, reading that just made my stomach growl.

DAVID: But then the more I thought about it, and as more and more and more twisted gay sex scandals came to light in the GOP, I started putting together my Unified Field Theory of Gay Republicans. For them it's all about The Forbidden.

Well, that and racism.

Aliens that resemble "little people who look strange to us" and possess technology that is much more "sophisticated" than ours and if they weren't so goddamn peaceful "we'd be gone by now." Which me wonder — and here's your "Jezebel angle," dykes! — are women more or less likely than men to believe this guy. Surely someone has polled them!

Okay, if you said "men" you can pat yourself on your surface area because 69% of men believe in life on other planets, to 51% of women, which reminded me I recently got an email from my uncle, an uncle who used to work at NASA, because he has a daughter who is somehow involved in this whole John Edwards love child scandal, and he thinks it is a shame that the mainstream media is not paying enough attention to it, not because it is so epically important but for the fact that he gave up on the space program a long time ago; decided it was a waste of money, that it was always going to be struggling for funding and relevance because too large a portion of its purpose was devoted to the investigation of Unknown Unknowns as they say, and people — women especially! I have the data to prove it! — don't really care much for investigating things they can't really control, which one one hand is fair enough, but on another hand, leaves us wasting time gossiping — oh my God, when in the UK I read this survey that said 80% of British women's workdays is spent somehow on gossip, which sounds doubtful to me but I can't prove it either way — about people and things we cannot control but at least know to be real, because they are incessantly being photographed, to the point that when some piece of gossip occurs like the Edwards scandal, whose credibility as I see it is primarily being undermined by the fact that we do not want it to be true, for the sake of Elizabeth or the children or whatever — we ignore it as part of an interesting new tradition I might call "Original Cynicism." We ignore it because we do not want to believe human nature to be that bad, even though we fully know it to be capable of far crueler, so we shut it out I guess and move on to the next animal picture, which is fine, sure, but puppies are not the beings with the far superior technology which could be deployed to obliterate us in a millisecond! Were their intentions malevolent. Which the aliens', apparently, are not! How interesting, right? That they are superior to us, and at the same time also possibly kinder! But Moe that is so sappy, you say, is that how you are going to end this post? But what can I say folks, if you have gotten this far into any of my posts without saying "I call bullshit" or "This makes no sense" you have made everything worthwhile for the past year and a half.

Aliens Exist, But NASA Covers Them Up, Says Astronaut [Telegraph]
Ed Mitchell Apollo 14
Edgar Mitchell [Wikipedia]
Do Americans Believe In Life On Other Planets? [Cosmic Paradigm]

Earlier: Teen Cult Member: "Michael Has Washed My Brain Of All My Own Corrupt Thoughts"
New Mexico Cult Leader Jailed For Child Molestation

• Maybe no.. But he would have, if loyal advisers had not protected him from himself! Loyal advisers who are now telling the Times all about it? (Loyal advisers who wish he had left the GOP? Seems poss!) Vicki Iseman. A youthful-looking 40. Pretty! Deny deny deny. Gary Hart was his groomsman, you know! The "miracle" Huckabee's been waiting for? [NYT]
  
• Let's be clear, Bill O'Reilly doesn't want to "lynch" Michelle Obama. Not until he has enough "evidence." He will "track it down." [Media Matters]
  
• Tucker Carlson just said he thinks she's got a "chip on her shoulder." Not that there's anythign wrong with that.
  
• All she was talking about was the record turnout! [CBS News]
  
• And let's go back to the chip thing for a sec. As Chris Matthews so helpfully pointed out this morning, slavery was in the Constitution. She grew up bound and determined to succeed, flung herself into an Ivy League bastion of entrenched privilege and classism and survived. Better than can be said for some of us but whatevs. [WSJ]

• So...stats on Cindy McCain: only child, affluent, high school cheerleader, rodeo queen, Theta at USC, met John at a military reception when he was still married. Married him, several miscarriages, three kids, volunteer work in disaster areas, SCANDALE...stress stress ... can't ... find ... receipts...PILLHEAD!...stealing pills from volunteer work. Adopts Bangladeshi child, two kids join military, innocuous. Gratuitously cold and snippy re Michelle! (Also gratuitously blonde; neither here nor there.) [Wikipedia]
• Ann Coulter's credit score = patriotic? [Page Six]
• Hillary is actually better off for losing nine states in a row because now all the indecisive ladies of Texas and Ohio will feel sorry for her and vote for her. [Slate]
• Also: Hillary hunts, is a better shot than you know whose eighth cousin! [NY Daily News]
• Another union full of Birkenstock wearing trust fund thespians goes endorses Obama. [AP]
• Jesse Jackson doesn't necessarily want Hillary to quit, he just wants her entire campaign staff to quit. [Politico]
• I want to have his babies of the day: Jon Stewart is on Larry King. (Actually Jon was my first-ever celeb crush, when I was 13 or 14 and he was in Seventeen promoting "You Wrote It, You Watch It." At the time I was 5'4 so I thought he actually seemed tall enough. Le sigh.)

Michelle Obama [CNN]

Hugs, 'Girl Talk' Won't Send Sex Scandal Teacher To Jail [CNN]

"Oh gosh, I can't believe you brought up something that was in the National Enquirer and in one tiny newspaper that had a grudge against me," she protested. "One tiny newspaper"? Uh, we checked Nexis, and, found, among other news sources reporting on the story, the Washington Post. Clip of Dr. Laura on women and domestic disputes, above.

Dr. Laura Son Linked To Lurid Web Page [Salt Lake Tribune]

Also interesting: Right after the segment ended, this very apt and always-heartbreaking ASPCA commercial came on. Lets hope young David was watching; maybe he learned a thing or two!

Sarah McLachlan Asks You To Help Animals [YouTube]

Related: Romney's Cruel Canine Vacation [Time]
Son's Past Could Come Back To Bite Huckabee [Newsweek]
Whoopi Goldberg Defends Vick's Dog-Fighting Role [Reuters]
Fact Sheet: Boy Scout Oath, Law, Motto And Slogan [Boy Scouts of America]

Earlier: Sarah Jessica Parker In 'Elle': The Impact Is, Well, Twofold

Earlier: Tuesday In The Park With Brad: Sugar-High Wind Sprints

Each week on Top Model, we watch her have totally arbitrary rules on beauty and modeling, and often times, conflicting advice for the girls ("Don't lose weight to conform!" "Do anything you have to do to book that job!"), so it's not surprising that she'd have different answers for different outlets on the same subject. She did admit to Heather last week that she compartmentalizes, after all.

And in case you forgot:

Earlier: Did Tyra Banks Have A Nose Job?

These were the original shots that were floating around the internet, suggesting that Anna was high (what a shock) and puking.

But Howard K. Stern, determined to defend her honor, said she wasn't puking, but was eating KFC and getting the tartar sauce all over herself... topless. He brought this picture on to prove it. What a prince he is!

Don't you just love how Dannielynn is giving first an expression of shock, then of disapproval? That's sorta how we felt watching her mom, too. Except we would always laugh in the end.

P.S. I know that he's married, balding, and all religious and shit, and perhaps it's an inappropriate time to mention it, given his mother's deteriorating health, but I totally want to bang her punky preacher son Jay Bakker.

Paris Hilton The Rock Anthem [TMZ, via Funny Or Die]

Overheard on my couch: "Oh stop humanizing yourself, I HATE it."
I would literally imagine that I was somewhere else "Yeah, like I was in Hyde, or ... like ... Area..and Nicky was there..."
"That's definitely one of her mom's blouses"
"Oh my god look at the crawl! Liveblog the crawl.." What's happening on the crawl? "Real world events that we should..." "20 dead in insurgent attacks in Iraq.." "21 bullet riddled bodies were found throughout Baghdad today.. so that makes 41?"

"This is like a bad valedictorian speech."
"I've always loved writing" — "KEEP YOUR DAY JOB.."
"Maureen, the news is she's smarter than the president. Like two or three levels above the president. It's not that bad. It's cliche-ridden, but... it's not that bad."
Look at her face! She's taken drugs. She can't say she hasn't taken drugs with a straight face......"You know, she lost a Bentley playing poker" ... Really?
"Did he just quote Marshall McLuhan?"
"Entramped?"
"He's fading....she's a marathon runner...he's old, he's losin' it.."
"A LOT OF GIRLS HAVE PROBLEMS — Another T-shirt!!"
"She's managing to preserve a distinct air of superiority throughout" — a dude
"She did that right. Are those really her notes? Forcing the tears.. But she's doing a good job."
"Ouch. it's like an Epilady.. are we on the old people channel?"
"Oh god this just reminds me that Anderson's gay.."

"Pandemonium" — good choice Sitrick! ok, WHY did this start before it actually was supposed to start? How were we supposed to get beer?
"They call it 'mystery meat' ... it's pretty scary"
So it's sort of a draw as to what the drinking game should be at this point. The obvious (invoking "God" i.e. "God does make everything happen for a reason") or the other obvious (invoking "myself" i.e. "I just really wanted to focus on myself") ....
"At Lynwood you have to talk behind glass, no matter what you're there for." Uh.... it ain't just Lynwood?
OH GOD I'M AN IDIOT. The obvious drinking game revolves around whether she expects to be treated like everyone else. Think she expects to be treated like everyone else? You motherfucking bet she expects to be treated like everyone else!

So she got a DUI with a .08 BAL? Really? Really truly? Who the fuck is driving around LA on a given night with less than .08% blood alcohol? I mean, the cool thing about living in LA — which is the same as the scary thing about living in LA — is that you're always seeing other drivers on the road who are aggressively so much drunker than you've ever been.

She just copped to the baby voice. "When I get nervous? My voice goes up?" So yeah, she sort of pre-empted it.

Ok so she just addressed the subject of Lindsay. "I know her." She mastered that. "I wish her the best." "I don't have any friends in rehab." So you're too wholesome for Lilo? Ok, we can accept that. You're kind of convincing. FUCK YOU. Jesus.

MAINSTAY. Another work of genius. "Too much too soon." Oh wow. Your face talking about Nicole, Paris, it's too much..are you really a person actually?

AUDACITY: "I get followed by the paparazzi all day; why would I have the audacity to drive with a suspended license?"

Chronicle of profundities:
"Don't serve the time, let the time serve you"
baby voice"I'm just gonna follow all of the laws"
"It is then only then that we find out who we are and what we're truly made of."
"I definitely wish I knew now what I did back then.."
"Sometimes I go down and that's something I'd like to change about myself."
"I've been on medication since I was a child" ADDERALL "Everyone I know with ADD takes it." AND EVERYONE WE KNOW *HAS* ADD THANKS TO YOU PARIS. HOOOOTTTTTT.
"I'm an Aquarius, we're social people.."
"I've always been religious, I went to Catholic school..I've always had a sense of spirituality"

MEMO TO LARRY KING AZT IS AN AIDS DRUG, ADT IS A HOME SECURITY COMPANY. ADDERALL IS NECTAR FROM THE GODS SO GET IT FUCKING RIGHT!

Did she just say she was going to go to mass? I really hope for the love of celebrity tabloids that she shows up at Paula Abdul's church.

Thank you!

Paris Released To Her Home (TMZ Reports) [People]
Springtime For Paris: Larry King First Stop After Jail [CNN]
Will Paris Wear Orange On 'Larry King'? [TMZ]

• Larry King won the "prize" that is an interview with the dumbest person alive. [LA Times]
  
• Prince William is trying to win back his beloved Kate Middleton. [People]
  
• George Clooney "won't even look at a picture of a goat again" after getting the runs while touring Africa. [The Sun]
  
• Cameron Diaz got in a lot of trouble for carrying a Mao Zedong bag to Peru, where the Maoist guerilla movement Shining Path did not make a lot of friends in the 1980s. What no one points out is that Mao did a leeetle bit more damage to the country where Cameron bought the thing to begin with. [USA Today]
  
• Now that she's put her MySpace blog to bed, singer Lily Allen is using Page Six to babble about antagonizing socialite Tinsley Mortimer in the Hamptons and racking up a $10,000 a month hotel bill. [Page Six]

• Paula Abdul's birthday party was sponsored by a brand of alcoholic water Smirnoff clearly invented just for her. [Rush & Molloy]
• Record exec/designer Damon Dash is a drunk, which may be why his designer wife Rachel Roy cheats on him. [Page Six]
• Celebrity stylist Jessica Paster held an open cattle-call for assistants during which her little dog peed all over the clothes and she offered prospects Lean Cuisine and Red Bull to drink. [Page Six]
• Cute nerd Gideon Yago gave $1,450 to Wesley Clark's campaign last election while covering it for MTV News and isn't apologizing for it. "I don't understand. Things that I do as a private citizen? I mean, what the [blank], man?" [Washington Post]

KING: Do you think, Joe, that they are in some way still tarnished?

CHESHIRE: Yes, you know, Larry, I think they are. We live in this crazy Google world where if you type in the name "Dave Evans," you get over a million hits. He's had a hard time getting a condo in New York because — or a co-op in New York because people will type his name in.... It's one of the horrors what of has been done to them.

Of course, there's some missing stuff where we put the ellipses, and you can read the entire exchange at CNN.com, but that pretty much says it all, doesn't it? Poor 22-year-old learns the true consequences of being falsely accused: He can't cash in on the Manhattan's booming real-estate market!

Larry King Live [CNN]
Related: Crystal Gail Mangum [Wikipedia]

Guess CNN producers haven't learn a thing from the growing chorus of critics regarding the continuing and unquestioning coverage of self-help book The Secret. Last night, it was Larry King's turn to step into the ring of wide-eyed, friendly talk show hosts: King devoted an entire hour to The Secret juggernaut with nary a real critic in sight.

First up was John Assaraf, founder of something called 'OneCoach' and a creepy, chiclet-toothed pseudo-scientist ("there are positive chemicals in the brain and negative chemicals in the brain" he asserts), who calls The Secret "a phenomenal breakthrough for mankind". But forget him. The real outrage came courtesy of Joe Vitale, "founder and president" of something called the "Hypnotic Marketing Institute". When King asked Vitale if Jessica Lunsford — the 9-year-old Florida girl raped and killed by just-convicted sex-offender John Couey — "attracted" the crime against her, Vitale basically said, well, yes.

"We are attracting everything to ourselves. There is no exception. I hear previous people talking about there is luck, there is [sic] some exceptions here. No. We attract everything. But we're doing it on an unconscious level, Larry. That's what's going on."

Got that? A beautiful 4th-grader — albeit "unconsciously" — asked to be abducted from her home, beaten, raped and then buried alive with only a stuffed animal as company.

And did Larry King bat an eyelash or pose a follow-up question after that outrageous statement? You know the answer.

The Secret Revealed [transcript via CNN]
Joe Vitale Is... Mr. Fire [MrFire]