• Chris Brown whined to Vibe about how Oprah Winfrey treated him after he assaulted Rihanna saying, "I didn't get a call from them or anything. I felt embarrassed, but at the same time I felt stabbed in the back."

• He continues: "Ok, Oprah you have so much power and people really listen to what you say. You don't know anything that went down and you jump to conclusions and start bringing people on the set that have no similarities to me other than a domestic dispute. And then compare them to me when she's around me and knows me. She could have called me and been like, 'Chris, let me get you on my show and I'm going to do this kind of segment.'" As for BET: "The BET Awards was horrible. I was watching it, holding my face like, ‘Oh my God this is wack'... They were so bent on not getting me there that they messed up their own show." The new issue, which mark's Vibe's relaunch, features Chris on one cover and Drake (who was linked to Rihanna in May) on the other. And to answer Chris's question, yes, we "r still down" about domestic violence. [BET]
• Tiger Woods' wife Elin Nordegren has moved out of their home, according to nosy neighbors. Sources say she's living nearby, but Tiger and his reps are keeping her move secret and trying to convince her to move back into their house. [Radar Online]
• Sources say Tiger Woods continued pursuing Rachel Uchitel after his Thanksgiving weekend car crash, texting her repeatedly and telling her he wanted to find a way to see her. [TMZ]
• A source claims Tiger Woods hasn't appeared in public recently because Elin Nordegren broke his tooth. "Elin confronted him about texting Rachel Uchitel and flew into a rage," said the source. "She apparently threw the phone at his mouth and broke one of his teeth... Elin then grabbed a golf club and chased him around the house, doing tens of thousands of dollars in damage. He ran out to the car barefoot to get away from her and was in such a state of panic that he crashed." [Star]
• Reports that Tiger Woods' mother-in-law Barbro Holmberg was at the scene of the crash are untrue. She just arrived in the U.S. this weekend. [TMZ]
• A source says when Tiger Woods was taken to the hospital after the crash, he had to be admitted directly to the intensive care unit so he could be intubated and have his breathing stabilized. Though his neighbor reported that he was asleep and snoring on his lawn, a source says "that was the sound of an airway that wasn't stable." [MSNBC]
• According to new documents, the Florida Highway Patrol wanted to do a blood test on Tiger Woods because a "witness" (probably Elin), "stated that the driver had consumed alcohol earlier in the day and the same witness removed the driver from the vehicle after the collision." The request was denied and the police determined alcohol wasn't a factor. [TMZ]
• Lindsay Davenport, who is a friend of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, says the media's "insinuation that [Elin] would be aggressive or attacking is just preposterous. ... She always handles herself with class." [ET]
• Tiger Woods posted another apology on his website today — to his sponsors, not his wife. He wrote: "As the final round of the Chevron World Challenge begins, I would like to extend my heartfelt thank you to everyone affiliated with the event, especially our amazing title sponsor, Chevron." [TMZ]
• BREAKING: Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren had a meeting yesterday with a man wearing a suit. [TMZ]
• Ashley Dupre, the former escort who slept with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, weighed in on the Tiger Woods scandal for no apparent reason. She says of the women coming forward about their affairs with Tiger, "I don't agree with that they're doing. I don't agree with coming forward," but adds, "When you sleep with a married man... first of all, you're only helping them stay married." [Extra]
• Mindy Lawton, one of Tiger Woods alleged mistresses, was charged with felony DWI in January for rear ending a car that hit another car and failing a sobriety test. [TMZ]
• According to this guide in People, Tiger Woods may have as many as 12 mistresses, including porn star Holly Sampson, an "Anonymous Florida Cougar," and "Trailer Trash Orlando Neighbor." Okay. [People]
• Yes, it can get worse: One of Tiger Woods' mistresses contacted Playgirl with an offer to sell pictures of his penis that she took on her cell phone. [Perez Hilton]
• Michelle Duggar, who is pregnant with her 19th child, was rushed to the hospital this weekend. "Michelle Duggar was admitted to an Arkansas hospital due to gallbladder issues," says a TLC rep. "The pain from a gallstone was generating some contractions... Though there were some fears that the baby was in trouble initially, it soon was discovered to be solely the gallstone causing the discomfort. Michelle is resting comfortably, and the baby is doing fine." [People]
• Alexa Ray Joel is doing better after being hospitalized for a suicide attempt or "reaction to herbal medication." Her rep says, "She is feeling much better. She is with her family and looking forward to getting back on track... I want to thank everyone for their outpouring of love and support." [People]
• Pete Doherty was arrested outside a bar in Germany for throwing a pint glass at a parked car, smashing the back window. The bartender said: "He was drinking shots and constantly asking where to get cocaine." [Ireland Online]
• Russell Brand says Katy Perry has helped him settle down. "It was a deep craving within me – I mistook it for lust," he said. "I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough – to get the right one. I'm ever so happy." As for marriage, he said, "I don't know, get married, you say? That would be good, isn't it? I want to have children – that would be good." [People]
• Though Nas admitted he'd been smoking weed and failed several sobriety tests when he was pulled over for DUI in September he says, "You know what it is ... profiling man ... but you, they can't stop a good man from shining, man." [TMZ]
• Heidi Androl of The Apprentice was pulled over for DUI around 3 a.m. because someone called the police to report that she was driving only 35 on the California Freeway. She performed "poorly" on several field sobriety tests. [TMZ]
• Chaz Bono and his girlfriend Jennifer Elia bought children's books at Kitson for Kids this weekend, so Jennifer must be pregnant. [Perez Hilton]
• Andrew McCarthy is going to direct an episode of Gossip Girl in the spring. He says the show's stars are different from the Brat Pack because, "They are much more savvy than we were... We were just a bunch of dumb kids running around." [People]
• Eminem's new song "Elevator," Includes this line: "Sorry, Lance, Mr. Lambert, and Aiken ain't gonna make it/ They get so mad, when I call them both fake/ It's all these fucking voices in my head, I can't take it." It seems tame for him, but he pronounces "fake it's" as "faggots." Adam Lambert Tweeted: "Wow, Eminem mentioned me in a song?! I must be doing something right!? Even if he used the 'F word,'" Clay Aiken and Lance Bass haven't responded. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Sadie Frost says she doesn't know or care if Jude Law and Sienna Miller are back together: "I don't really know what the situation is, because it doesn't affect me. They're in the same circles, I'm sure they're friends, it's not my business to ask." [Telegraph]
• South Africans are mad that Jennifer Hudson has been cast as Winnie Madikizela-Mandela in an upcoming film instead of a native actress. In a press conference, the president of the Creative Workers Union of South Africa said, "We want to develop our own Hollywood, and yet we keep bringing in imports." [Times Online]
• A couple from Michigan was arrested for allegedly blackmailing John Stamos for $700,000 and threatening to release photos of Stamos from a 2004 party that would "hurt his reputation." [The Smoking Gun]
• According to an account posted on Weezer's website, their tour bus crashed early yesterday morning in upstate New York when the bus slid on black ice and dropped about 10 feet into a ditch. Rivers Cuomo cracked three ribs, but thankfully his wife and baby, who were also on the bus, were uninjured. [N.Y. Magazine]
• Al Pacino will play Shylock in Shakespeare in the Park's production of The Merchant of Venice this summer. He previously played Shylock in a 2004 film. [NYT]
• American Family Insurance has taken a cue from Domino's and pulled it's ads from the MTV show Jersey Shore. "After seeing this show over the weekend, had we known the content, we would not have placed our ads on this show," said a rep. [TMZ]
• Jennifer Aniston hosted a party for 100 friends and employees at her house on Sunday. "Jen loves Christmas, and her house was festively decorated with a huge tree, twinkling Christmas lights and fragrant flower arrangements," says a guest. [People]
• There was speculation that Morrissey cut short a concert in Las Vegas because he was offended by drunken audience member vomiting and brawling, but he cancelled a concert the next day because he had "blown out his voice." [Daily Express]
• Jenny McCarthy says she's excited that Jim Carrey's daughter Jane Carrey is expecting a baby. "I think he's going to make the world's best [grandfather] because he is so animated," said Jenny. "I also think I am going to rock as the grandma. I love her and I am excited about this baby." [People]
• Eddie Vedder and Jill McCormick, the mother of his two daughters, got engaged this weekend. [E!]
• Jenna Fischer announced that her wedding to Lee Kirk will take place next summer in L.A. "We just got our save the date cards in, and they're adorable – after many hours and many proofs later," Fischer says. "We're going to hold them until after the holidays before sending them out so they don't get lost in the holiday mail. They were fun to pick out and [it] was a very fun girlie experience to touch the paper." [People]
• Padma Lakshmi spoke about suffering from endometriosis at MIT, where researchers are developing new treatments for the illness. "I guard my privacy closely, and it seems contradictory when I'm standing here, talking about my period," she said. "But you always have to remember the greater goal. What's more important — my privacy, or the lives of women? I chose the latter." [Reuters]
• The Bonnie Hunt Show has been cancelled. [Perez Hilton]
• Brian Bonsall, who played Andy on Family Ties, was arrested this weekend for allegedly hitting his friend in the face with part of a bar stool. There was already a bench warrant out for his arrest from a 2007 assault charge. [TMZ]
• Michelle Rodriguez says working on Avatar was "like working on Star Wars — the first one. You know how now you watch Star Wars [Episode I in 1999] and you're like 'I could've rented or bought the video game then I'd be in control of what's happening' — because everything's so digital and it doesn't feel real. But you watch the first one [Episode IV in 1977] and I don't know how you feel, but I wonder, 'Why does this feel so much greater than the digitized world he [George Lucas] created now?' And I realize it's because of the props. And that's the kind of live-action world that [James Cameron] created." [L.A. Times]
• Glee's Mark Salling says, "I hate the mohawk... It was cool for a while, but I've had it for like a year, you know I'm kind of over it. I feel better when I don't have it." [People]
• Reese Witherspoon says she's forgiven British Prime Minister Gordon Brown for mistaking her for Renee Zellweger last week when she spoke to Parliament about domestic violence. Reese said: "She's lovely and she's short and blond and southern. So I understand! She actually called up a (mutual) friend of ours and said she'd heard about it (Brown's mistake) - it happens all the time. I have a dog and I took the dog to the vet, and they said, 'No no, we're waiting for Renee Zellweger's dog' and I said, 'Actually this is my dog.' Everybody gets us confused a lot. But there's worse people to be confused with other than a lovely actress!" [Daily Express]

[New York, November 3. Image via INFDaily.]

Christina Applegate: Sleek, basic, body-conscious black. Safe? Sure. But also classy.

I'm not a huge fan of Isla Fisher's pleated leather skirt, but she looks comfortable and cool.

Remember when Katharine McPhee was a brunette who wore pretty dresses? Now she's a blonde in liquid leggings. Downgrade.

More liquid leggings… But since Jillian Michaels looks prepared to kick my ass, I'll shut up.

Not sure about the vest, but I love Sheryl Crow's punky plaid pants.

Alanis Morissette's basic black stays interesting with a drapey neckline.

I'm probably one of the few fools who actually watched the Disney Channel original movie Gotta Kick It Up!, in which Camille Guaty starred — it's about Latina teens on a dance squad, and I do not recommend it. But call me crazy: I think wearing a tiger tee to a rock event is okay.

Marcia Cross looks dramatic in black, what with the flawless, pale skin and fiery hair, but the neckbow on that top is a No.

I like Courteney Cox's easy purple shift dress, but someone should have told her that when she puts her hands in her pockets it looks like she's about to announce an Unsolicited Uterus Update.

Jenna Dewan, aka Nora in Step Up, aka Mrs. Channing Tatum, chose regular leggings over liquid leggings and a tunic made from birthday present gift wrap.

Dear Lance Bass: It appears that your jacket does not fit, and you're trying to fake it by wearing it open, with the sleeves pushed up. I know this trick, because I have done it before. That is all.

Jimmy Jean-Louis is a Haitian actor known for his character — creatively called "The Haitian" — on Heroes. He is also very handsome, very dapper, and, sadly, overdressed for this event. Or maybe everyone else is underdressed? Don't change a thing, Mr. Jean-Louis. We love you just the way you are.

Lisa Kudrow has made some bad choices. Namely: That jacket with that T-shirt, those pants and those shoes.

[Images via Getty.]

• Remember this report that Quentin Tarantino asked Brad Pitt to join the cast of Inglourious Basterds over some wine and some weed?

Quentin says: "That was Brad. He did the fabrication. He can take a Coke can and make it - functional." [NY Mag]

• Unsolicited uterus update: "Is Penelope Cruz pregnant?" Is she? [Page Six]
• Matt Damon has launched a new humanitarian project, Water.org, aimed at bringing clean water sources to nearly 890 million people at risk of disease. [Mirror]
• "Why I Waited Until 44 To Do My First Nude Scene, By The Proposal Star Sandra Bullock." Actually, she doesn't explain that, but she does say: "If you're naked and you're trying to be sexy — you don't really make as much money as if you're naked and you're funny." [Daily Mail]
• NYC Artist Dash Snow has died of a drug overdose; his brother, Maxwell Snow, dated Mary-Kate Olsen. [ONTD, Page Six]
• What will the Harry Potter stars do after the the movies are over? Daniel Radcliffe hopes to head back to the stage, but also "sleep"; Emma Watson will attend college, but would like to work with directors Alfonso Cuaron and Guillermo del Toro; Rupert Grint says: "I look forward to seeing what else is out there and to move on, really." [USA Today]
• In a poll, Hermione was voted the favorite Harry Potter character. And! "Some 51% thought [Emma] Watson would have the best post-Potter career, with a large majority (67 percent) approving the idea of her appearing naked." Eyeroll! [Reuters]
• Uh, the Vatican approves of the latest Harry Potter movie, since it makes the debate over good versus evil crystal clear. [Mirror]
• Madonna's boyfriend Jesus Luz is "resentful" that Guy Ritchie has been hanging around lately. But, you know, Madge and Guy were married for eight years and have three kids together. So. As for Jesus, a source says Madonna likes him because "He's pretty and she can boss him around." [Gatecrasher]
• Pity the Poles! Britney's Circus tour won't be stopping in Warsaw, due to a contractual dispute. [AP]
• Robert Redford got married on Saturday! The bride was a German Fräulein named Sibylle Szaggars; the ceremony took place at St. Catherine Church in Hamburg. Herzlichen Glückwunsch! [AP]
• Nicole Kidman's daughter, Sunday Rose, has turned one year old, and Nic and husband Keith Urban celebrated with a "little cake." Also, Keith says, "My wife made a beautiful video that covered her first year and we gave that to all the family." The kid is already a film star. [Daily Express]
• David Beckham has a new tattoo: The ring of roses around his arm has one flower for each year of marriage to wife Victoria. Sweet. [Daily Mail]
• Is Simon Cowell worth £100 million a year? That's what he's negotiating for to stay on American Idol. [Mirror]
• An X Factor fan lost her purse and Simon Cowell gave her a wad of his own cash. He can spare it! [EW]
• The LAPD is treating Michael Jackson's death as a homicide, and Dr. Conrad Murray is the focus of the investigation. [TMZ]
• Debbie Rowe's lawyer denies that she accepted $4 million to walk away from the custody battle. He says: "Ms. Rowe has not accepted — and will not accept — any additional financial consideration beyond the spousal support she and Michael Jackson personally agreed to several years ago." The New York Post printed a story claiming that Rowe had struck a deal with the Jackson family, and her lawyer is calling it "unequivocally false." [TMZ, CBS News, Reuters]
• Debbie Rowe sent emails to a friend which say: "I'm not going after custody. These kids are not mine. They were never mine. They were always Michael's. I was Michael's best friend." [Extra]
• Dr. Arnold Klein, Michael Jackson's dermatologist, is not fully cooperating with official requests for medical records. [TMZ]
• The DEA is trying to find out who supplied Michael Jackson with the powerful anesthesia Propofol. [TMZ]
• "A maker of the potent anesthetic propofol found in Michael Jackson's home has been contacted by federal officials investigating the pop star's death and has recalled tens of thousands of vials of the drug after two tainted lots sickened dozens of patients." [AP]
• "I never saw him on drugs. Not once. He deliberately did it away from us. He didn't want his family to know anything about that part of him." — Tito Jackson on Michael's drug use. [Mirror]
• Jack Wishna, a Las Vegas businessman who tried to organized comeback shows for Michael Jackson, says the pop star would move a bunch of mattresses on to the floor so he and all his kids could play, jump up and down and sleep in the same room. In addition, he would leave his Christmas trees up for about seven months. [E!]
• At this link, you'll find similarities and differences between real-life super agent Ari Emanuel and the character inspired by him, Entourage's Ari Gold. [Independent]
• Zooey Deschanel was supposed to headline a screening and Q&A of her film 500 Days Of Summer on Monday, but she'd already headed to Ireland where she's shooting Your Highness, a fantasy flick in which she plays a princess. Zooey sent a recorded statement in which she said, "Umm, I guess I should maybe answer a few questions preemptively. ... I did the movie because I liked it." [Observer]
• Vanessa Hudgens will be in a movie called Bandslam, playing a character named Sa5m, and — this is important — the 5 is silent. [People]
• Emily Blunt joins Matt Damon in Adjustment Bureau, a movie based on a Philip K. Dick short story. [Variety]
• Russell Brand: The voice of the Easter Bunny. In a live action/CGI family comedy called I Hop, to be released in March 2011. [Variety]
• Miley Cyrus will star in Wings, a movie based on a novel about a high-school girl who sprouts a pair of wings and learns that she is a fairy. [Variety]
• Hugh Jackman's signed on to appear in Avon Man, in which guys laid off from an auto dealership end up working as Avon salesmen. Jackman + makeup + comedy? We're in. [Variety]
• Usher has a summer camp, Camp New Look, that invites 130 children to spend two weeks in Atlanta learning about the business side of sports and entertainment. Hey says: "These kids come here and they're like 'Oh, wow … we're going to learn about entertainment!' But they leave engaged in life and knowing that, 'I can have a future outside of music.' That's what makes me most proud." [USA Today]
• Uh-oh. Robert De Niro is a victim of an art scam? He is gonna take you down. Take you down to Chinatown. [Reuters]
• Hmm, I didn't know that Rashida Jones was dating President Obama's speechwriter, Jon Favreau. Where have I been? [Page Six]
• Q-Tip has inked a deal to publish his memoir, titled Industry Rules. Is one chapter titled "I Left My Wallet In El Segundo"? [mediabistro.com]
• Interesting piece about Angie Dickinson, who starred in the 1974-78 NBC series Police Woman, for which she earned a Golden Globe award and Emmy nominations as L.A. police officer Sgt. Pepper Anderson. The show paved the way for future female-driven cop shows. [LA Times]
• Congrats To Joey McIntyre and his wife, who are expecting their second child in December. [People]
• Some guy was trying to sue Janet Jackson, claiming that her bodyguards beat him up in a club, but the case was dismissed due to a lack of evidence. [Goathamist]
• Aerosmith bass player Tom Hamilton is recovering from non-invasive surgery and will miss some tour dates. [Reuters]
• Jane Fonda and music producer Richard Perry: It's on. [Page Six]
• Blind item! "Which grungy young starlet's idea of a good time is getting stoned with her ex-hippie parents?" [Gatecrasher]
• "When you have three kids, you've got to take your opportunities when they come. In a limo, on the way to the Academy Awards this year, Will started looking at me in this way that drives me wild. We started kissing passionately, and the next thing I knew, well, let's just say we missed the red carpet and I ended up with almost no makeup on." — Jada Pinkett Smith spills about her sex life. [Page Six]
• "[She] wipes the floor with me every time I play her." — Daniel Radcliffe, who says Emma Watson is a pro at table tennis. [The Sun]
• "I respect criticism. But I know more about film than most of the people writing about me. Not only that, I'm a better writer than most of the people writing about me. And I can write film criticism better than most of the people writing about me. [My goal was] to get the biggest standing ovation of the festival, and I got it [...] Sometimes it's your time to be Elvis, and that was my time." — Quentin Tarantino, on the mixed reviews of Inglourious Basterds and its reception at Cannes. [NY Mag]
• "I'm a trained astronaut, and it's my time to go." — Lance Bass is still hoping to head to space. [Gatecrasher]
• "I don't have his number, so haven't spoken to him. But I can safely say that his insisting that girls would choose me over him that they would not. That they do not. He is the much prettier and can be much more charming. And he can do that thing of being sultry and sexy." — Daniel Radcliffe, on Robert Pattinson. [The Daily Beast]
• "Although my grief over Michael could not be any deeper, I am not on suicide watch as some of the cheaper 'rags' would have you believe." — Elizabeth Taylor. [CNN]

There's no sign of a bandana under that tri-cornered hat, but we still have no desire to be one of the wenches on Bret Michaels' Rock of Love Pirate Ship.


Apparently Brody Jenner has set sail as well. Our fantasy: that he and Bret will strike up a bromance and spare the womenfolk on board.


There's really nothing wrong with this photo of NFL player Will Demps, but we can't stop thinking about Bret and Brody, and it's hard to see through the tears.


It's cool that the editors decided Lance Bass being gay doesn't disqualify him from being a one of the "Hottest Bachelors," but his pose clearly says, "sorry ladies, can not have!" We've never seen a man pulling away from a woman on the cover of a romance novel, but if female readers are snatching up novels about gay male romance, why not have a genre devoted to women lusting after homosexual former boy band members?


Earlier: What Women Want: Gay Male Sex

• New day, same rumor: The "doc" is a diva. So. Did Katherine Heigl get dropped from the cast of cringe-inducing flick Valentine's Day because she wanted too much cash? Her rep says:

"The story is ludicrous." And: "Katherine walked away from this project for multiple reasons." Hmm. Julia Roberts, Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Shirley MacLaine and Bradley Cooper are still in. [Page Six]

• Celebrities are speaking out about the gay marriage ban in California: Melissa Etheridge says: "So, will anyone be sleeping better tonight? Those full of hate and fear will surely be disappointed that 18,000 same sex couples will be living in wedded bliss, kissing their spouses goodnight, checking off those little 'married' boxes on all those forms we fill out nowadays. That's really going to drive them crazy." Lance Bass says: "The decision to uphold Prop 8 is deeply disappointing. I can only hope to one day live in a country that grants equal rights, opportunity, and freedom to all citizens." [Radar Online]
• George Clooney says of the ruling on Prop 8: "This just should invigorate people to get it back on the ballot in 2010 and 2012 and every two years until all people are allowed a basic civil right." [E!]
• Twitterholics Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are threatening to quit Tweeting if Twitter goes forward with its plans to launch a TV show. [NY Mag]
• More Demi Moore: She will make the trip to the UK to watch Susan Boyle in the Britain's Got Talent finale. Simon Cowell offered her (and hubs Ashton) first-class plane tickets. [The Sun]
• This video clip may or may not be footage from the new Amy Winehouse documentary Saving Amy. One thing is for sure: It's boring. If you want to see Amy's dad talk about the villa in St. Lucia for 10 seconds and then see Amy say something unintelligible for about 2 seconds, then go ahead and click. [ONTD]
• News you cannot use: Someone somewhere says of Jesus Luz: "Leave it to Madonna to find the only Jew who's a hot Latino with an uncut penis." Brazilians aren't Latino, though, right? [Village Voice]
• Speaking of Madonna: Artist Peter Howson has created an oil painting of her Madgesty in the nude with her ex, Guy Ritchie, touching her thigh. Honestly? It doesn't exactly look like her. But it's up for auction this week, if you have £22, 000. [Mirror]
• Oh! Jesus Luz speaks! He and Madonna bought jewelry together, but it's not because they're getting married: "I received these pieces of jewellery because they are inspired by Kabbalah," he says. "If I want to present them to somebody, it could be my mother or a friend of mine. I don't have any marriage plans or any wedding present." [Mirror]
• Hugh Jackman's nine-year-old son uttered the following: "Hey dad, 2 o'clock, hot chicks." And, apparently, the kid, Oscar, went up to the girls and said: "Hey, you know that my dad's Wolverine?" [Mirror]
• Michael Lohan was arrested last month when he threatened to kill his fiancée and himself when she tried to dump him. Not good. [Page Six]
• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are moving to a bigger house in preparation for the twins. [Daily Mail]
• It's not a Mariah Carey gossip item without hairdresser drama and diamonds! [Page Six]
• Robert Pattinson may or may not have hooked up with a blonde chick when he was in the South of France for the Cannes Film Festival. Star spoke to the lady in question, who says: "We had a great time together! Rob's very sweet." Scintillating. [Star]
• If you see a "parade of rats," follow them! You might find Gisele Bundchen, Michael Cera, Rupert Everett and NBC news anchor Lester Holt, who are all experiencing a serious rat problem on their street in the West Village in NYC. [Page Six]
• Russell Brand, who hosted the MTV Awards last year, has advice for Andy Samberg, who's hosting the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday: "Do not jokingly criticise the Jonas Brothers — you will receive less-threatening death threats. There's nothing worse than opening a letter and then seeing in it a death threat. You think, 'Hold on a minute. I wasn't looking forward to the letter particularly. Now I fear death. Ruins a perfectly good read.'" [Mirror]
• Hey, Page Six: This item is called "Kelis & Nas Celebrate Their Baby," yet they're in the middle of a bitter divorce! [Page Six]
• Kevin Kreider, brother of Kate of Jon & Kate Plus 8, says the kids are being exploited and viewed as commodities. Sigh. [CBS News]
• Kirsten Dunst is selling her L.A. home on Nichols Canyon Road; it's got 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, exposed beams in the living room and cute outdoor spaces. Kiki is accepting offers starting at $1,700,000. Go! [Real Estalker]
• Kim Kardashian is not engaged. She doesn't know when she will get engaged. And yet. She is picking out rings. "It's just easier," she explains. "Isn't it easy if someone's like, 'This is exactly what I want.' It'll make your life so easy." [Yahoo News via E!]
• Breaking news from Lady GaGa: "I like boys that look like girls." [Fox News]
• Gavin Rossdale is on the road touring to support his new album, and little Kingston is with him! "Sometimes we'll go to museums of modern art so he can see a big splash of color on the walls… I found a way to kill some time in New York by asking him to look out the window and tell me every time he saw a yellow taxi," says Gavin. "He was so into it. We had a really good time." [People]
• Kelly Osbourne's fiancé saved her dog's life! Little Goldie was bitten by a rattlesnke and Luke rushed the pup to the vet. Kelly Twittered: "Thanks to Luke we got her there just in time. Luke was amazing, if he was not there I don't know what would have happened!" [The Sun]
• "Lifetime Movie Network Tuesday announced plans to air two fashion-themed murder mysteries this summer." LOL. Maggie Lawson stars as Lacey Smithsonian, a Washington, D.C., fashion reporter whose beat turns deadly. LOL! Mark Consuelos, Mario Cantone, Finola Hughes, Mary McDonnell and Victor Webster will be cast in the flicks, titled Killer Hair and Hostile Makeover. LOL. [UPI]
• Jodie Sweetin — aka Stephanie Tanner — has penned a book, UnSweetined, which details her past as a meth, coke, ecstasy and booze abuser who finally straightened out after she discovered she was pregnant. [Page Six]
• James Gandolfini, Will Ferrell, Nicole Kidman, Anne Hathaway and Kevin Spacey will be presenting at the Tony awards. Fingers crossed that they'll all do a musical number together! [Variety]
• James Brown died Christmas 2006, but legal battles over his estate have lived on. Yesterday a judge ruled that half of his assets will go to his charitable trust; a quarter to his wife and young son, and the rest to Brown's adult children. [USA Today]
• Ed McMahon's lawsuit — regarding slipping on a ramp-like staircase at a mansion and hurting his neck — has been settled. [TMZ]
• The promoter who sold tickets to see a fake Toni Braxton sing says that the Braxton impersonator was unaware of his scheme; she thought that everyone knew that she was an impersonator, and didn't find out until later that people purchased tickets expecting to see the real Toni Braxton. [Yahoo News via AP]
• Starting today, fans who visit Graceland get to go in the stables. [USA Today]
• Blind item! "Which beauty now going through a divorce told a pal over lunch four years ago, 'I've had several abortions. If my husband ever found out, he'd throw me out of the house?' Looks like he found out." [Page Six]
• "It's all about history. What we as mothers are doing is creating history with our kids that we can look back on. When they're adults I want my kids to say 'Mom worked so hard, but she was always there for us.'" — Britney Spears, who says she was encouraged by Madonna to take her kids on tour. [The Sun]
• "Playing a bad guy is always a freeing experience - because you don't have the same envelope of restrictions that you have playing a good guy." — John Travolta, who plays a bad guy in The Taking Of Pelham 123. [Mirror]
• "You want people to talk about you, because once they stop talking about you that's when you're really in trouble! I'm happy to have people talk about all the craziness they want to talk about, whether it's things like every year we're getting divorced or we're an open family or Will's gay, or I'm gay." — Jada Pinkett Smith, who graces the new cover of Ebony. [Just Jared]
• "I was on my way to a festival [in Chicago], I was on the street and he (a police officer) stopped me. He said 'put your ass up against the fence,' there were kids around so I guess he wanted me to cover up my butt — quite a bit was showing. But it was quite an epic moment for me, I was up against the fence going ‘it's fashion, I'm an artist!' I signed his ridiculous piece of paper and left. I was being wildly disrespectful to him, he looked like some park ranger on a bike." — Lady GaGa. [Fox News]
• "I had a gentleman turn up on my doorstep all the way from Peru. He said he'd seen my clip on YouTube and had to come congratulate me. That was pretty weird." —Susan Boyle. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I met Randy Jackson, and he asked me to sing on American Idol. I was like, 'Um, I'll stick to dancing.'" —Shawn Johnson. [MSNBC Scoop]
• "I've always approached this from the place where I don't compete with other girls. I don't compete with other people in the industry, I compete with myself. If I looked at every other girl in the entertainment industry as competition, my life would be really lonely. I wouldn't have some of the coolest friends that I'm so glad I've gotten to know over the last couple of years. ... It's really awesome to get to hang out with those girls [Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez] and to call them friends." — Taylor Swift. [Yahoo News via AP]
• "I'm home from the hospital and feeling great. Thanks for all the love and support!" — Elizabeth Taylor, via Twitter. [Reuters, Liz Taylor's Twitter]
• "I couldn't marry John Mayer, it'd be so intense. I'd definitely shag the shit out of him though. I'll go on record saying that." — Katy Perry. [The Sun via Complex]

• None other than the National Fisheries Institute has responded to Entourage actor Jeremy "Thermometer" Piven's claims that he has suffered from mercury poisoning.

The organization says: "People in Japan eat 154 pounds of fish a year on average. If Piven ate 6 ounces of fish a day for his whole life, he'd still eat less than the average Japanese. Despite this, there is no public health concern about mercury in Japan." [YouTube]

• The good news? We have more info about Amy Poehler's new sitcom: She'll play a mid-level bureaucrat in an Indiana city parks and recreation department who's looking to get ahead. It's a "comedic take on how government works in an American town." The bad news? It doesn't start until April. [AP]
• Hollywood will descend on Washington, D.C. for the inauguration festivities. Between the Creative Coalition party, the MoveOn.org bash, the Huffington Post party and the DNC Hispanic Caucus Gala, the town will host Sting, Adrian Grenier, Anne Hathaway, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Trudie Styler, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Peter Saarsgaard, Rosario Dawson, Michael Stipe, Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, Sheryl Crow, Tom Hanks, Ed Harris and Ron Howard, among others. Oh, and, of course, Oprah. [MSNBC Scoop]
• Aretha Franklin loves Barack Obama! She says: “I heard him sing a fabulous version of "Chain Of Fools" at an event in Detroit last year. He has a good, melodic voice.” [Daily Express]
• Beyoncé will sing for the Obamas' first inaugural dance. Will it be a version of Etta James' "At Last"? [Concrete Loop]
• Sigh: The end of the Bush administration means the end of David Letterman's "Great Moments In Presidential Speeches." There will be a retrospective tonight! [AP]
• What's up with the Sex And The City sequel? Even though Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall seem to think the next flick is a realistic possibility, Chris Noth "doesn't think it's gonna happen" and Evan "Harry Goldenblatt" Handler says: "I have no idea whether it will happen or not." Maybe there are no dudes in part 2? [E!]
• Toni Colette says of United States Of Tara: "When I read the script, it was like a juicy page-turner that was full of surprises, and it made me laugh out loud. It was very moving, and as soon as I finished reading it, I was like, 'Yep, I'm doing it.'" The series starts Sunday! [USA Today]
• Uh-oh: Hollywood studios are going to cut back on the lucrative pay deals movie stars get due to a decline in DVD sales. This is how it starts! Next thing you know, you're merely rich instead of incredibly wealthy. [FT]
• St. Lucia's Tourism Minister is thanking Amy Winehouse for bringing publicity to the Caribbean island; he says every picture shows Winehouse smiling or interacting with the locals, and the overall impact has been positive. "Any edge that you can get, you hang on to it," says Allen Chastanet. [Mirror]
• Lance Bass has been talking about a 'N Sync reunion, but JC Chasez says: "No. We haven't discussed anything like that. I don't know. Honestly, I can't speak for him or as to why he would say that but I know nothing about one." Ouch. Tearin' up my heart! [Perez]
• Little Edie enthusiasts: How do we feel about this "first look" at Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange in Grey Gardens? [Just Jared]
• Lily Allen has done this before, but she recently showed Dutch TV her third nipple. In addition, she reveals she has a Homer Simpson tattoo, but when she finds out that Krusty The Clown also has a superfluous nipple, you can almost see her thinking "Dammit, maybe I should have gotten the clown." Click for video! [Perez]
• Oh, Lily Allen is not wearing pants on the cover of Spin. [ONTD]
• Isla Fisher's eyebrows sorta jump out at you from the cover of Allure, but maybe that's due to the nude lip? [ONTD]
• A dude who runs a head shop talks about how Brad Pitt used to come in all the time. "He came in once and was excited about smoking with one of his very big-name co-stars. 'We blaze (smoke pot) every day in his trailer,' Brad boasted. He had a huge grin on his face." [ONTD]
• Edie Falco is coming back to TV: She'll shoot a Showtime series called Nurse Jackie, which airs this summer. And! She might return to 30 Rock as Jack's love interest, even though she says when she first worked on the show: "I was actually very scared. You watch Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey; it's like they are speaking Swahili. It's like, 'What the hell is this?' " [E!]
• Conan O'Brien will officially be out of work come February 20, and Jimmy Fallon starts March 2. [Yahoo News via E!]
• Cindy McCain was supposed to be on Dancing With The Stars, but John put the kibosh on it? [Page Six]
• Blind item! "What funnyman’s wife caught him in bed with another man? Sister straight-up dumped her dude after catching that class act." [Gatecrasher]
• So. The Gossip Girl spinoff. A teen romance between Lily van der Woodsen and Rufus Humphrey. Set in the '80s, in the L.A. music scene. Could be awesome, could be awful. [Gatecrasher]
• Whoops, Whoopi Goldberg accidentally called Josh Brolin James at an awards show. [Gatecrasher]
• Whitney Houston will perform at Clive Davis' pre-Grammy party? We want to see! [Page Six]
• Ugh: Why the hell is accomplished race car driver Danica Patrick showering in this web domain commercial? [USA Today]
• This paper says of Kylie Minogue's new Spanish hunk, who sorta looks like Olivier Martinez: "He's tall with smouldering Latin looks and a fear of commitment. Is it true love for Kylie or DEJA PHEW!" [The Sun]
• Casey Affleck is directing a documentary feature on Joaquin Phoenix, his friend and brother-in-law. Phoenix's new career? He is becoming a rapper, and his album will be produced by Sean Combs. This is not a joke. [Hollywood Reporter]
• Sean Combs says of the Notorious BIG movie: "My experiences with Biggie happened when we were still young, and to be honest, it was kind of weird to see myself that way on screen." [WSJ]
• Howie Mandel says that since he's a germaphobe, being in the hospital for an irregular heartbeat was very difficult: "I wouldn't put on the gown or the customary clothing. I remained clothed and in my boots on the gurney and in the hospital!" [People]
• Billy Ray Cyrus was seen riding his motorcycle without a helmet in L.A., which is illegal. Doesn't he know the helmet gives you anonymity? Ask Brad Pitt! [Perez]
• Congrats to Monica Seles, who was elected to the International Tennis Hall of Fame yesterday. [UPI]
• TV adventure man Bear Grylls and his wife Shara have a new baby boy: Huckleberry Edward Jocelyne Grylls. Welcome to the world, Huck. [People]
• Aerosmith's in Venezuela and Joe Perry's in the hospital; he had a knee replacement last March and suddenly needed a second operation, stat. [E!]
• By the by, Steven Tyler says he and Joe Perry never battled over women: "Well, we didn’t compete, but we did share. And the crabs won." He also says his first sexual experience: "was at the age of seven with twins." And the band had a rule: "You didn’t have sex for 10 days at the end of tour, but that was so you’d be sure to go home with a full cup of chowder." As the kids say: Vom. [ONTD]
• Oh dear, is there bullying going on in the Celebrity Big Brother house? And is Coolio at the center of it? A communications watchdog organization is investigating. [The Sun]
• Boy George will be sentenced today for falsely imprisoning a male escort. He could get three months in jail or 300 hours of community service. [Daily Express]
• Guy Ritchie was seen dining at a NYC restaurant and not paying attention to the table full of "young model types" he was with. [Page Six]
• Nostalgia alert: The Trumps used to race the Kennedys on the ski slopes. [Page Six]
• "The reality is that Kids was my first film, and when I did it people thought that I was like the character, and that is one of the reasons that Spike Lee wanted to hire me for He Got Game. When he met me and saw that I wasn't that person he appreciated that I had actually acted in that part, and he was really great with me and forced me to be stronger in my acting." — Rosario Dawson. [Independent]
• "I still love everybody that I’ve ever had a relationship with. I am friends with them all. When I met Chris [Robinson] it was like nothing else. I had no question that I was going to have a kid with him. Every rule went out the window. We were telling each other we loved each other by the fourth day and I moved in within a week. I had no question that we were going to get married. He’s still a permanent fixture in my life, But I believe our love changed its form, it shifted. I don’t think we were meant to be married, but I think we were meant to have a child and we have this amazing little boy together – therefore we’ll be together our entire lives. Whoever he ends up with, whoever I end up with, we’ll always be together." — Kate Hudson. [Mirror]
• "I have never really understood how I should feel or behave in a relationship,” the former child star reveals. “I didn’t have the kind of childhood or family life that would have given me any perspective on what a happy home or relationship would feel like. So I haven’t had as much success in my relationships as I would have liked… You can’t live your life blaming your failures on your parents and what they did or didn’t do for you. You’re dealt the cards that you’re dealt. I realised it was a waste of time to be angry at my parents. The best thing I can do is use all the things I’ve learned from them, good and bad, have my own family someday and just keep on going." — Drew Barrymore[Mirror]
• "Every time you buy a Nirvana record, part of that money is not going to Kurt's child, or to me, it's going to a handful of Jew loan officers, Jew private banks, it's going to lawyers who are also bankers." — Ladies and gentlemen: Ms. Courtney Love. [Page Six]

• K-Fed is opening up about his marriage to Britney in this week's People. " I never thought that I would get married but it wound up happening. That was a really, really, happy, exciting moment. I pretty much realized that I was giving my life to her, and I was doing it without question," the Fed says. [People]
• Are Kelly Ripa and longtime hubs Mark Consuelos dunzo? The National Enquirer says that the pair is separating. However, it is impossible to tell if Ripa is shedding silent invisible tears under that relentlessly perky facade. [Jossip]
• And get this: Ripa's rep denies all! The flack says, "There is no truth to the story. Their marriage continues to be quite healthy, and the National Enquirer should be ashamed for fabricating such an untruthful story." Isn't that what Madge's rep said six months ago? [People]
• Mark Ruffalo's brother, hairstylist Scott, was shot in the head in Beverly Hills earlier this week. He is in critical condition. [ET Online]

• James Franco is on the cover of this month's BlackBook wearing a leather jacket. He looks totally James Dean and not at all Jason Priestley. [Blackbook]
• Lance Bass thinks Britney is ready for a comeback, but adds, "I don't think she needs any advice from me." We concur! [People]
• Celine Dion was on CBS this morning, dishing about her frozen embryo. "Yes, we do have a frozen embryo," said the plucky French Canadian. "We'd love to extend the family," she continued. "I started to talk to Rene Charles about it. He said 'Can we have four and five?' So if we're blessed again, I will be very happy to come back and do another interview with you and talk about it. I will be the first one to be extremely happy." [CBS News]
• A-Rod will allegedly accompany Madonna on her trip to Brazil later this month for two performances in Rio. They're definitely Madariguez south of the equator. [Perez]
• So, Boy George is on trial for assaulting a male escort, and his lawyers are arguing that George was "too fat" to have perpetrated that crime. Could this case get any more tawdry? [Daily Mail]
• Bea Arthur will be inducted into the Television Hall of Fame on December 9th. I'm sure she'll thank us for being her friends, pals, confidantes, etc. [AP]
• The Gossip Girl producers loved Ed Westwick from the moment he read for the part of Chuck Bass. However, the network was not so pleased. "But he looks like a serial killer!" they protested. Lucky for us the producers won out. Also: the fictional GG kids will go to college next year in the show. [NYM]
• Speidi's wedding rings are literally the ugliest effing things we've ever seen. [TMZ]
• Pete Wentz says baby Bronx was a "happy accident." He tells Details, "I think that certain things happen for a reason in your life, and maybe it was time to put the wild child in a cage." [People]

• Aww, lookit: BritBrit on the cover of Rolling Stone, looking healthy and happy. She says: "I feel like an old person now. I do! I go to bed at, like, 9:30 every night, and I don't go out or anything." Oh! But Britney did go on a date recently, and took her assistant and a manager's friend with her. "Right when we got there, we just knew it was just bad," she says. "He looked like an older version of Harry Potter, but skinnier. So I had to get dessert first." Plus! Her kids "are starting to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn't get it from us. He must get it from his daddy." [ONTD, USA Today, The Sun]
• With good news must come bad: Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital after screaming fight with Blake Formerly Incarcerated. [The Sun]
• Why is Kate Moss all scratched up and bruised? [Daily Mail]
• Click to see Lindsay Lohan sneak vodka into her drink: Caught on camera! [The.Life Flies]

• The Boy George trial has begun! A Norwegian male escort claims he was chained to the wall and beaten by the former Culture Club singer. The court heard about sex toys, leather straps, cocaine: The usual. [Daily Mail, BBC News]
• In his first interview since the plane crash, Travis Barker explains why he has filed a lawsuit: "If something goes wrong that's not supposed to go wrong or you fall victim of it, I think you should be compensated." [Perez Hilton, People]
• Shanna Moakler's been hanging out with Travis Barker lately — and she's been wearing her wedding ring. [TMZ]
• Spencer and Heidi didn't just elope: They got married on November 20. They were able to keep the wedding secret until this week. The ceremony was held on the beach in Mexico, and it wasn't planned. There were no family members present and it took about 15 minutes. [Perez Hilton]
• Spencer's wedding vows: "Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person…" Oy. [Perez Hilton]
• Heidi "couldn't stop crying" after saying her vows. [MSBC]
• Uh-oh, Heidi didn't tell her dad about marrying Spencer. "I would be upset if she got married and didn't invite me!" Bill Montag says. [People]
• Look for all the wedding pictures in Us magazine. More in Midweek Madness today! [Perez Hilton]
• Nicole Kidman is psyched her daughter, Sunday Rose, is "born and bred" in Nashville. "I hope she has a Southern accent." [People, Sydney Morning Herald]
• Number one on E!'s "Top 10 Sexiest Women" list? Belly-button-less icon, Karolina Kurkova. Number 2 is Bar Rafaeli, and Angelina Jolie is a mere third. Scarlett Johansson is chopped liver. [Mirror]
• Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance: Daddy-to-be! His wife Lindsey is expecting a child in summer 2009. A tiny nü-goth emo kid? [NY Times]
• Madonna: "I'm sad about my personal life, but I feel very blessed and very lucky that I have the opportunity to do what I do in my professional life. It would be horrible if I was just thinking about getting a divorce and had nothing to do." Lord, imagine if she had nothing to do??? [AP]
• In an e-mail, A-Rod's soon-to-be-ex-wife, Cynthia, writes: "My 6-foot-3, 220-pound, soul-less, soon-to-be ex-husband is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna. She called and he ran on her command back to New York City… Gross!" A source says: "Alex likes a woman with a strong hand. He likes to be told what to do. He's a bit of a cipher." [Page Six]
• Tom Cruise admits that his past erratic behavior was maybe not endearing. "There are things that I could have done better," he says. I was surprised at the criticism but it brought everyone closer together: Katie’s entire family and my family." Also, he says: We’ll have more children, I’m saying this, but Kate’s not here!" On Suri: "She’s happy and fun. She’ll just wave to people in the street." [Mirror]
• Oh, plus: "I have to say some of those paparazzi shots of my daughter are incredible," Tom says. Agreed! These snaps of Suri eating a cupcake are brain-exploding cuteness. [Daily Mail]
• Joel Madden is "thrilled" his friends Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz have a kid. "They are going to be great parents. They both have really big hearts." [People]
• Evan Rachel Wood and Joseph Gordon Levitt: It's on. [Perez Hilton]
• Reese Witherspoon says she doesn't know why there are rumors that she didn't get along with Vince Vaughn while shooting Four Christmases… not that we ever heard those rumors. She says: "We're very good friends and very much partners on this movie. We decided to produce it together and we re-wrote the script together and every day was like: 'How are we going to do this?' 'What are we going to do now?'" Related: The flick looks shitty. [UPI]
• Celebrities blog. [Reuters]
• Simon Cowell and his ex, Terri Seymour, talk five times a day? [The Star]
• Oh and Terri denies that Simon paid her off after they broke up: "I was horrified when I read that he’s supposed to have given me $10m or whatever. I was like, ‘Why?’ I’ve worked myself since I was 12 years old. I’ve always been very independent and I’m lucky that I still work like I do." [Mirror]
• Jude Law and Sadie Frost ran into each other at a party, but kept a frosty distance, heh. [The Sun]
• Julianne Hough: Looking to be a pop star now that she's hung up her Dancing shoes. [People]
• Speaking of Dancing With The Stars, Joey Fatone talks shit about the contestants: "Kim Kardashian, ugh, she has no personality at all. It was painful to watch. Lance Bass can't point his toe for shit… he had to have two Red Bulls before doing the jive." [Page Six]
• America's Next Top Model is thisclose to getting renewed for a 13th cycle. [Yahoo News]
• Is Paris Hilton in denial about her breakup with Benji Madden? "Right now we’re just taking a break,” she told Life & Style magazine. "We both love each other very much, and we’ll see what happens in the future. My work schedule is out of control, so it’s hard for us to have time for each other. It’s going to be really hard being alone during the holidays, but I’m lucky to have a great family." [MSNBC]
• Paris, who was dumped via voicemail earlier this month, talked about how much she loves Benji on Ryan Seacrest's radio show. She should have dedicated a song to him, old-skool steez. [Mirror]
• Everyone is over Paris anyway, she was booed at a club in Hollywood this weekend. [Page Six]
• Cloris Leachman talks about her health: She's got asthma, but it turned into pneumonia maybe, or bronchitis, but now she says, "I'm better than I've been in years." [ET]
• Kevin Spacey was given a special theater award for rejuvenating one of London's best-loved play houses, the Old Vic. [Telegraph]
• Chinese people are angry that Guns N' Roses called their album Chinese Democracy. [ABC News]
• Jason Lee and Ceren Alkac: Married. Back in July. Guess it was a secret. And they have a baby girl, born in August, and they haven't released her name, but we can only hope it's as, uh, unique as Lee's son's name, Pilot Inspektor. [People]
• Boston Legal: Case closed. As in, show cancelled. [UPI]
• Paul McCartney spills on his new relationship! "I just like being in love," he says. Yawn. [People]
• Legendary producer David Foster says working with Paul McCartney was "a little like being on a bad date. Ten bad dates, maybe." [Rush & Molloy]
• The new show on A&E, Steven Seagal: Lawman, will follow the actor as he fights crime in Louisiana. Did you know he was a police officer??? [Daily Express]
• Bryant Gumbel's 29-year-old son Bradley was arrested for an alleged DUI last week. [TMZ]
• The guy shot dead to the Hollywood Scientology Center had made prior threats, and less than a month ago he was arrested somewhere for swinging an ax at an Auto Club employee who was bringing him gas for his car. [LA Times]
• George Takei's husband is wondering why George hasn't been wearing his wedding ring while on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here: "I can't tell if George is wearing his and that worries me. Maybe he doesn't want it covered in grime," Brad Altman frets. [Mirror]
• Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees had a standoff with security guards and missed his flight after refusing to let security staff search his bag. What do you think was in there? [Mirror]
• James Jagger — son of Mick, with Jerry Hall as his mother — has landed his first film role. The 23-year-old is playing Alessandro Grimani, a pupil, in a biopic of the composer Vivaldi. [Telegraph]
• After she crashed her car and killed a woman two years ago, Brandy was super depressed. "There was a point when I didn't feel like it was OK to live on, because someone else lost their life," she says. "I really didn't know what to do. I was in limbo for a long time. I didn't go outside for months." [Page Six]
• Rapper Nas feels relevant because his album has a song called "Black President" on it. [Rolling Stone]
• RIP screenwriter John Michael Hayes (nominated for Academy Awards for Hitchcock's Rear Window and for Peyton Place), dead at age 89. [AP]
• "Some of the women who became my friends while I was incarcerated have visited with me. There are some very interesting women there of great value to society, and I keep in contact with them. We have some broken systems in this country - one is the prison system." — Martha Stewart. [Page Six]
• "People want to know what Van Damme is. I'm a mass-audience guy. When I go to Russia or Brazil, the people all come en masse, because I'm a guy from the people who made me famous, not the papers or the studios." — Jean-Claude Van Damme. [USA Today]
• "The way I see it is that Peaches [Geldof] is a very lost, sad little girl. And at one point I was like that, so I don’t want to judge. Instead of everyone picking on her, they should try to help. It’s all a bit sad to be honest with you. f she loves him then good for her, but if it was done for attention, it’s a bit sad. I did stuff like that when I was 19 as well, like get a tattoo because it pissed my mum off. It’s just a great big cry for help. Maybe all she needs is a hug." — Kelly Osbourne. [The Sun]
• "I think there is too much of it. You can't turn on the telly without somebody being judged by four people, whether they are on ice, or on the stage or in the jungle. I'm not very keen on it. I watch it — like everybody. It's compulsive viewing but so is a traffic accident. It doesn't encourage creativity." — Paul McCartney, on reality TV. [Telegraph]
• "Beyonce is great, so lovely and down to earth and talented. She’s definitely inspiring. I might go into acting like her if the right thing comes along, like a small movie part. I’m working on my clothing line." — Leona Lewis. [The Sun]
• "Actually I'm not in the tabloids anymore. I am sometimes, but I've watched the culture change. I'm old hat. And I love it. You know what it is with me? This is something I'd like to clarify. I've heard people say, 'Because you hide, it makes you seem ungrateful.' The mere fact that these - I'll use the word piles - are earning money from exploiting my image is the only reason I hide myself or am not a photo-friendly person. I do not like the way they conduct themselves. I think they're disrespectful and dangerous. The reason I don't pose or smile or that I seem mad is that I don't want them to make a living off my private life." — Leonardo DiCaprio on "boycotting" the paparazzi. [Daily Express]

[Las Vegas, November 20. Image via Splash.]

Life & Style
"Twilight Romance!" Lots of stuff about how Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart might OMG be having a secret relationship, because they had good chemistry on set and he tried to slip her the tongue in a kissing scene. But! She's had a boyfriend for 2 years, and this is fabricated story. Moving on: Pete Wentz texted a few friends on November 14th to say that Ashlee was in labor, but texted again the next day to say it was a false alarm. The baby's not ready yet! Holly Madison says that leaving Hugh Hefner has changed her look! She is wearing less makeup now that she is with Criss Angel. Who wears eyeliner, right? Whoa: Is this a picture of Barack Obama biting Michelle's ear (Fig. 1)??? Lastly, this week in Dr. Rey's Casebook, the good doctor believes that Heidi Klum, who is a flawless fucking supermodel, would be even sexier if only she had Michelle Williams's lips (Fig. 2) WTF.
Grade: D- (2 hour delay)

In Touch
"Jen, I'm Sorry." Sigh. Brad Pitt still feels bad about leaving Jen for Angelina. Jen is not mad at Brad, she just hates Angelina, "pure and simple." Not because Angie stole Brad, but because she won't shut up about it. A source close to Aniston says, "Just when she is in a good place, it seems as if Angelina has to throw some poison her way." The magazine also walks you through Jen's "Seven Stages Of Grief" over relationship in a helpful sidebar, as well as asking a "body language expert" to analyze her facial expressions from her appearance on Oprah (Fig. 3). Moving on: Valerie Bertinelli lost weight through grilled chicken and exercise, what a breakthrough. Kirstie Alley's gained all her weight back and "Oprah Want To Lose Weight For Obama." And Fergie gained weight for a film and she's up to a whopping 121 pounds, but she plans to lose the 13 lbs. she packed on. There's a story called "The Stress Is Getting To Madonna" with pictures of her arms and a line which reads, "The singer appears to be wasting away. Is she okay?" Next, Nicole Richie is planning her clothing line — her jewelry line, House of Harlow, is already in stores. There's an informative piece called "Drugs Ruin Your Looks," illustrated with two pictures of Amy Winehouse. Oh, and a whole bunch of druggy blind items (Fig. 4)! Since she was "dressed conservatively" on a beach in Mexico, and had her hand on her tummy a lot, and a source says so, Mariah Carey is two months pregnant. Oh, Ellen DeGeneres is hosting a show in Vegas called Ellen's Even Bigger Really Big Show: "I may be topless, which is potentially kind of exciting," she jokes. Lastly, an "At Home With Lance Bass" feature reveals that he has a purple satin bedspread and 'NSync bobbleheads (Fig. 5).
Grade: D (1 hour delay)

Us
"How Angelina Tortures Jen." Eight text-heavy detailed pages about the Aniston vs. Angelina feud. The magazine delves into the original betrayal, and uses metaphors like, "Aniston continues to pick at the scabs of her broken marriage" and "Jolie twists her dangerous knife." In insider says Anison is "as adept as Madonna at pushing the right buttons to stay in the spotlight." Plus, when Angelina was on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, instead of wearing the flesh-colored underwear provided, she was naked in bed with Brad Pitt. Intern Margaret's fave part is when a source says: "Whenever the topic of Valley girls comes up in conversation, Angelina likes to tease Brad by saying, 'Brad, you used to like Valley girls, didn't you?'" Next: A photograph of Sarah Palin reclining by the pool at the Republican Governors Association Conference in Miami last week (Fig 6). Oh, and there are pictures of what Michelle Obama could wear to the inauguration (Fig. 7). Hmm, where have we seen that before? Lastly: There's an exclusive interview with Brandy, who, when she got knocked up in 2002, claimed she had secretly wed the baby's father the year before, which was a total lie.
Grade: C (half hour delay)

Star
"Furious Brad: Shut Up, Jen!" Jen told a friend, "I look forward to the day when I can get Angelina in a room and warn her that Brad is going to leave her, just the way he dumped me." Jen also reveals the reason she wouldn't have Brad's baby: He was cheating on her. The mag goes back to a 2003 Vanity Fair party, where Brad disappeared with a "very sexy party planner" and Courteney Cox had to send David Arquette to go find him. Also, when Jen and Brad were together, he liked to wake and bake — smoking pot all the time. Plus, he was "constantly" getting chemical peels and collagen injections. Wowza. Moving on: Guy Ritchie and Rachel McAdams have been flirting on the set of Sherlock Holmes. Crazytown! Four months after breaking up with Michael Bublé, Emily Blunt is dating John Krasinski! Tina Fey turned down an interview with 60 Minutes because she doesn't want to talk about politics anymore. But! She's still one of Barbara Walters's "10 Most Fascinating People." Dr. Phil can't stand curly hair, and makes the female staff come in with straightened hair. New hires are warned they'll have to flat-iron! Blind item! "Who is taking months to plan her wedding because she doesn't want to pay for it? The glamourous girl is calling in favors and trying to get freebies for her long-overdue big day." Mischa Barton is trying to find her way back into the spotlight with a line of high-end headbands. But! She is furious at Nicole Richie for including hair jewelry in her House of Harlow line. Rihanna and Chris Brown went to a lingerie store and Chris bought her $800 worth of unmentionables. Plus, they've coordinated their concert schedules and call each other "beauty" and "rebel." Which is which? L.A. photo agency X17 claims one of their photographers saw Britney's dad, a recovering alcoholic, down more than 6 large draft beers while sitting alone at a bar. His camp claims he was drinking O'Douls. Also: Jessica Simpson might be pregnant. A story called "The Hills: Running Out Of Lies" claims that MTV is "struggling" to come up with fake Hills storylines. LC and Heidi called a truce, and the producers are upset they missed it — they might recreate it. LC's hometown friend Jill Levin is always around, but the producers won't film her because they don't think she is thin or cute enough. And how will producers portray Audrina's new multi-million dollar mansion on the show without admitting that the way she bought it was with money from The Hills?
Grade: C+ (15 minute delay)

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[West Hollywood, September 29. Image via Splash.]

[Beverly Hills, September 15. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• David and Victoria Beckham were in a car crash Friday in France. David was driving his BMW to the Nice airport when he lost control and crashed into a wall. No kids were in the car; Posh was the only passenger. The vehicle had a smashed windshield and damage on the passenger side, but everyone was OK. Bex had to catch his plane (to appear in the Olympic closing ceremonies) so he left poor Vicky with the car… [Perez Hilton]
• Playdate! Kingston Rossdale and the Spears brothers! Britney entertained the three boys while Gwen and Gavin have their hands full with a new baby at home. It says a lot about Brit's progress that people will leave their kids with her, huh? And look, only two nannies in the accompanying picture. [Daily Mail]
• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie can claim £1,400 a month in child benefits after registering France as their home. Not that they will claim the money. Because they are perfect. [The Sun]
• Lance Bass helped Christina Applegate recover from her double mastectomy. "I was at the hospital holding her hand and getting her through it," he says. "She is a very, very loved person. She's a big crossword puzzle girl. That kept her busy. In her hours of recovery, she's made all these roses out of lace. She has hundreds and hundreds of these amazing different roses. She doesn't know what she's going to do with them." [People]

• Apparently the trailer for Keira Knightley's new film, The Duchess, has shots of Princess Diana intercut in it, with the words "The two were related by ancestry and united by destiny… History repeats itself." Except Keira's flick is about Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire. Who did not die in a car crash. [Telegraph]
• Madonna and Guy renewed their vows in a private Kabbalah ceremony in London. A-Rod, shmay-rod! [Daily Mail]
• Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour kicked off over the weekend! [The Sun]
• Madge has $1 million worth of Swarovski crystals on her costumes! [Mirror]
• Her show was "epic" and featured a video appearance by Britney Spears, as well as virtual appearances by Kanye West and Pharrell Williams. [Mirror]
• Madonna's workouts to get in shape for her tour have paid off. Hubby Guy Rithie says: "Her legs are Olympic standard. She is in amazing shape. You won’t find a fitter bird than her. Her legs are so toned. She’s fitter than dancers on her tour who are half her age." [The Sun]
• Madonna's tour includes negative images of destruction: global warming, Hitler, Mugabe and Senator John McCain. Then! Positive images! John Lennon, Al Gore, Mahatma Gandhi and Barack Obama! [AP]
• Um, the McCain camp is not happy about Madonna's tour images. "The comparisons are outrageous, unacceptable and crudely divisive all at the same time." [Yahoo News]
• Is Madonna sparking a stocking trend with her 100 pairs of fishnets? [The Sun]
• Four relatives of Helena Bonham Carter were killed in a minibus crash while of a safari holiday in South Africa last week. [Times of London]
• Amanda Bynes was in a minor car accident Saturday afternoon in L.A. She made an unsafe turn and another car hit her. No serious damage, no drugs or alcohol. [People]
• Jet-setting billionaire Charles Simonyi is engaged to a Swedish woman named Lisa Persdotter, which is weird because Martha Stewart has often referred to him as "my boyfriend." [ONTD]
• Chris Kattan filed for legal separation from his wife, Sunshine Tutt, citing irreconcilable differences.The couple were engaged for 18 months and married for less than 2 months. Sigh, WWMD? (What Would Mango Do?) [Yahoo News via E!]
• John Mayer paparazzi shots aren't worth very much now that he's not with Jennifer Aniston. [MSNBC]
• Barenaked Ladies frontman Ed Robertson and three other people are "very lucky" to have survived a plane crash yesterday. The float-plane went down in the trees in Bancroft, Ontario, Canada. [Toronto Sun]
• Kim Kardashian cut her foot in her hotel room Sunday night. A source says there was so much blood, it looked like a murder scene. She sliced her foot open on a glass coffee table — right before she's supposed to start Dancing With The Stars! [ONTD]
• George Michael's final farewell concert was in London over the weekend. "It's great to be home," he said. (I won't let you down. I will not give you up. Gotta have some faith in the sound… It's the one good thing that I've got.) [Telegraph]
• There was a beachside premiere party for 90210 over the weekend, with Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth in attendance. [AP]
• Boy jeans: Now seen on Jennifer Aniston. Katie Holmes, what hath thou wrought? [Daily Mail]
• Drew Barrymore: seen singing "I Will Survive" at a karaoke joint in Detroit with Whip It co-stars Juliette Lewis and Ellen Page. It's okay, you'll find better than the Mac dude! [Mirror]
• Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty went house shopping in Malibu! The "love nest" they checked out was priced at £11million. Guess that's what Getty oil money will get you. [Mirror]
• Snoop Dogg has been granted a visa to perform in Australia, despite his long list of drugs, firearms and weapons charges. You can't hold back the dee oh double gee! [News.com.au]
• Paula Abdul has undergone neck surgery to repair an old cheerleading injury. She's supposedly been in a lot of pain since um, 1987, which maybe made her take pain pills, which maybe made her loopy. [Perez Hilton]
• TV chef Jamie Oliver was talking about free range chickens and gassing chicks when he some kind of Holocaust joke about the Germans, whoops. [The Star]
• Adrian Grenier: Dating an Aussie "weather girl"? [News.com.au]
• Blind item! "Which newly single TV personality tried out his sonorous baritone on young co-eds while vacationing in Mexico? 'He was bouncing between college girls like a pinball,' says our spy. 'His son was there, and it was embarrassing to watch.' Even worse, we hear there were no takers." [Rush & Molloy]
• Mary J. Blige and Robin Thicke will tour together in North America this fall. Will they sing together? A duet could be hot! [Reuters]
• When Alanis Morissette was 15 years old, she opened for Vanilla Ice on tour: "I was instructed not to look him in the eye and that was my first experience of honouring someone’s privacy to the point where you look away when they come near you. I thought, 'Wow, I didn’t think that actually existed!'" [Daily Express]
• Ed McMahon has found someone to buy his home and it's not Donald Trump. [Yahoo News]
• If you like Lil Wayne, Birdman or the Hot Boys, you'll love Cash Money Mobile, the new phone service that delivers ringtones, graphics, videoclips, text alerts and other crap right to your phone. A milli, a milli, a milli. [Reuters]
• Bobby Brown is being sued for failing to pay the legal bills for his divorce from Whitney Houston. He still owes almost $100,000 — can he get if from that country show? [Mirror]
• Tennis star James Blake talks about going to high school with John Mayer: "Just about every day he was at my house, and we'd play Nintendo games… I was about five feet tall wearing a back brace [due to scoliosis]… I don't think either one of us was doing that great [with the ladies] in high school – John was still kind of fitting into a niche ... He's more than made up for himself with how he's done since then." [People]
• Christopher Plummer recalls that hilarious time he thought he had syphilis and William Shatner took his role in Henry V. [Page Six]
• It's been twenty years since N.W.A.'s Straight Outta Compton. Ice Cube says: "It was what we saw all around us in Los Angeles. Gangsta to us didn't have anything to do with Al Capone and stuff like that. It's just about living your life the way you want to live it. And you're not going to let nothing stop you." [USA Today]
• A Serbian village unveiled what it says is Europe's first statue to late Jamaican reggae star Bob Marley on Saturday. Apparently the war-torn region prefers role models of peace. [Yahoo News]
• There's an excerpt from Faith Evans' book, and it details the night when she caught Lil' Kim in Biggie's bed. "As soon as I saw a small lump next to Big’s large frame, I flew into a rage, ran over to the side of the bed, and pulled back the covers. I grabbed some chick our of the bed and started beating her ass. At some point, the chick’s wig came off in my hand; It was a short, cropped wig. I stopped throwing punches for a minute to get a good look at the chick I was beating up. It was Lil Kim. She was completely butt-naked, yelling as I pushed her around the room…" [The.Life Files, Gawker]
• "Growing up, there’s a lot of pressure on young women, when you first become aware of your own looks in relation to other women’s looks. You just want to be cookie-cutter beautiful. And sometimes you think, 'Maybe I could change something about myself to fit that mould.' I’m no exception to that. When I was growing up I wanted a nose job because I didn’t think my nose was good. Your face needs to have character if you’re going to be an actor or you’re just kind of a face. You’re not really a person or a personality." — Anne Hathaway. [Daily Express]
• "Making clothes together in our studio makes us feel complete. We probably sound like a group of grannies in a knitting circle but it's the truth and it gives us some control over our visual identity." — Coldplay's Chris Martin. [Mirror]
• "I wrote that song as a stalker. It was raining, and I was sitting there in front of the house, watching her come home from a date after we were divorced. I was imagining what she did on this date, and watching her giving him a kiss. I went home and wrote this song." — Terrence Howard, on the "No. 1 Fan" from his new album. [E!]

• As per her custody settlement, Britney Spears will get to see her sons 3 times a week, with two overnight visits and potential for more: It's basically like 40% of the time; not bad. [Yahoo News]
• Britney's new songs are, um, angry. The lyrics to one track: "You know they treat me like an ATM, but y'all know that I’m too good for ‘em." [Mirror]
• Britney made a rare public appearance on Saturday night: she attended Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey's fundraiser for Generation Rescue, an organization dedicated to researching autism. [People]
• Angelina Jolie left the hospital in Nice, France on Saturday, a week after giving birth to twins Knox and Vivienne. "Angelina left at 4 a.m. in a blacked-out ambulance," a source tells E! News. "And she's now back at Château Miraval with Brad, the kids, her brother, James Haven, and Bill and Jane Pitt, Brad's mom and dad." So many people. Full house! [Yahoo News, E!]
• Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones went to rehab after being on a "booze marathon," but instead of deciding to back to his wife, he's been pining for the 19-year-old model and cocktail waitress he'd been hooking up with. Maybe he hasn't fully sobered up yet? [Mirror]

• Khloe Kardashian's stint in jail sucked! On her way to the hoosegow, a woman on KK's bus had a seizure. The bus was rerouted to a different facility, but a bomb scare at the jail triggered a lockdown — KK had to go into solitary confinement. Then Khloe was cold, so she asked for a blanket — and was denied. She had to watch videos on how to be a good prisoner and was not allowed to change out of her street clothes. Khloe served 173 minutes. [TMZ]
• Not sure why we need to know this but here it is: Jerry O'Connell and Rebecca Romijn are trying to get pregnant. [People]
• Courtney Love wrote a long and rambling MySpace blog post to "Gawker people." [Gawker]
• Frances Bean Cobain is the summer aide at Rolling Stone, but a source says: "she doesn't get coffee for anyone… calls in sick all the time and wears funny outfits." [Page Six]
• Remember how Lindsay Lohan used to live with "close" friend and openly gay Courtenay Semel? Yeah. [Perez Hilton]
• You know how all of the tabloids are reporting on Lindsay and Sam just like any other celebrity couple? Michael Musto says, "I've read things in gossip columns that would never go there in the past and realized, 'Wow, they're going there now.' They don't consider gay a dirty thing anymore. And it's very cool." This is an interesting article about why LL and Sam's relationship is different than other same-sex celebrity relationships that get ignored by the tabloids. [LA Timmes]
• Dina Lohan got Lindsay's age wrong when she was on the CBS Early Show. [Full Disclosure]
• Lance Bass has a new man, a Brazilian personal trainer named Sebastian Leal. Except Sebastian is married. To a lesbian. For green card purposes. And she wants to get divorced so she can marry her girlfriend. Messy. [Perez Hilton]
• Heather Mills is on a £250,000 vacation with her new lover, 36-year-old Jamie Walker. [Mirror]
• Carey Hart on Pink: "We talk all the time and try to stay connected as much as possible. It's a tough situation to be in but I love her to death. I miss everything about her." Sigh. Sad face. [People]
• Jessica Simpson performed her first country show on Saturday night! She was booed. [Perez Hilton]
• Blake Incarcerated is to be sentenced today! Will he be let go? Will he and Amy be reunited? [Telegraph]
• Pharrell Williams is going to be a daddy. The lady in question is a "model type" who travels with him. Naturally. [Page Six]
• Here's a twisty take on the A-Rod story you haven't heard: Alex Rodriguez is "emotionally abused" by wife Cynthia. "Alex has always been into psychotherapy, making himself mentally stronger," a source spills. "He's had several therapists. Cynthia has a master's degree in psychology. Once she found out how vulnerable he was, she got into his head. Several of us begged him not to marry this woman, but he did it anyway." [Rush & Molloy]
• Blind item! "Which newly married diva recently went bananas after reading flirty text messages from her new hubby's ex on his BlackBerry? She locked him out of their (her) house for two nights. Memo to ladies everywhere: If you don't want to know, don't start snooping." [Full Disclosure]
• You've gotta love this picture of Hugh Jackman being "held up" at "gunpoint." [TMZ]
• Pete Doherty has a new ladyfriend, a model named Robin Whitehead. How does he do it? [Mirror]
• Shannen Doherty: Looking forward to appearing on the new 90210. [UPI]
• Shannen will play the director of the West Beverly High's musical. Once more with feeling! [E!]
• DMX has been arrested. Again. That's the second time this month and the third time in three months, if you're keeping track. [UPI]
• You won't see any more of the Verne Troyer sex tape: The law suit's been settled. Small miracles! [AP]
• Darryl McDaniels of Run-DMC had two major blood clots removed from his left arm on Friday. Be well! [AP]
• Is Sean Connery refusing to give his son money to teach the young man to earn a living on his own? [UPI]
• There are "rumored lovers" on the new season of Project Runway and you can click here if you want to know who they are. [ONTD]
• Bravo has picked up Sarah Jessica Parker's art competition reality show. On American Artist, contestants produce a painting, sculpture or other artwork which is judged by a panel of experts. [Reuters]
• Joss Stone is dating Nelly? For real? [Mirror]
• Jimmy Fallon's Late Night will start on the web first. Interesting. [NY Times]
• Is Kelly Osbourne engaged? She's been wearing a ring on THAT finger. Boyfriend Luke Worrell is 18; Kelly is 23. [This Is London]
• Salman Rushdie dates beautiful young women; Brit paper asks, "Just how DOES he do it?" [Daily Mail]
• Three words: L Word spinoff. [UPI]
• Two dudes who are not her father debate whether Miley Cyrus is growing up too fast. [Newsweek]
• Kate Beckinsale's lips "fluctuate in size." [Awful Plastic Surgery]
• The new Gossip Girl ads revel in the show's scandalous reputation. Words like "very bad," "inappropriate," "nasty" and "nightmare" are plastered over the too-hot-for-their-own-good stars. [TVGasm]
• "Ohmygod. You're not going to do this to me, are you? Tell me you're not going to do this. Oh come on! It's been such a long time. Hire somebody that knows enough that we don't have to explain this again." — Gillian Anderson, after being asked why The X-Files is such a big deal. [Newsweek]
• "Lulu is very outgoing, so not like me at all. Max is nasty, mean. He came from two abused homes, so he has baggage. He has short legs and is chubby and hairy, like me before electrolysis. I've learnt a lot from Lulu. When her leg was amputated, she just got right on with her life. No self-pity. She just accepted that she was the Heather Mills of Boston terriers." — Joan Rivers on her dogs. [Daily Mail]

[Studio City, May 7. Image via x17]

• Britney Spears and Kevin Federline both went to their first Parenting Without Conflict session yesterday. They learned "polite requests," cooperative parenting and communication skills. Sounds like fun — and a step in the right direction! They're both due in court Friday for a "progress review." [People]
  
• The Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, says, "I would love to talk to Britney. I really feel sorry for her. I want to tell her, 'It's OK'." Dontcha think Britney would probably be all, "Who the hell are you?" [Daily Mail]
  
• More fakeness on The Hills: Lauren Conrad rolls her eyes when people try to talk to her and the cameras are off. Plus — she went on a date, and when she was reflecting on it "afterward" she'd changed her hair and nail polish. No one thinks it's real, yet no one can stop watching. It's like wrestling. (With cell phones and skinny jeans.) [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]

• Former *NSync member Lance Bass says his new book will sell more copies than rapper 50 Cent's new book (launched on the same day) because "he doesn't have any relationships with guys in that book. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any space training, either." Uh, Lance has a point. [Gatecrasher]
• OMG Not so blind item: "Which Hollywood faux-mance is being cranked up higher as their film sinks at the box office?" [Gatecrasher, last item]
• Did magician David Copperfield offer a woman $2 million to drop her rape charge? Did he invite her to a "party" at his mansion in the Bahamas? When she got there, did she find it was a party of two? A pal says that night, he forced himself on her. "She told me she fought back," the friend says. "But she said that just seemed to turn him on more." [Rush & Molloy]
• A source says Christina Aguilera is expecting twins. Double trouble! [Rush & Molloy]
• Paul McCartney's estranged wife Heather Mills wants Reese Witherspoon to portray her in the movie of her life. We're trying to picture Reese with a faux leg... [Page Six]
• Fox may do a spinoff of Prison Break called Prison Break: Cherry Hill — set at a women's prison! No "gonna make you my bitch" jokes, please. [The Hollywood Reporter]
• Amy Winehouse has pledged to give up drinking... before a gig. She gave a sober performance in Amsterdam "and gave her best show of the tour yet." Atta girl! [The Sun]
• Maria Shriver is done with TV news, a decision she made after the media circus surrounding the death of Anna Nicole Smith. "It was then that I knew that the TV news business had changed and so had I," she says. We liked her better before she married the Governator. [Yahoo News]
• The hit single "Umbrella" was originally done for Mary J. Blige, but she was too busy. But she thinks Rihanna did a great job: "I was so glad that she caught it and knocked it out of the park, and it's still one of my favorite songs to date." [MTV News]

• Lindsay Lohan's new guy was engaged... until his fiancée, Bree, found out he was dating Lindsay by seeing the tabloid pictures. It's like, hey, will you marry me? Unless I meet a movie star in rehab? [Gatecrasher]
  
• Ellen may have cried on TV over the dog she gave away, but behind the scenes her publicist is leaving threatening voicemails. Shit is getting serious! [Page Six]
  
• But maybe the problem is that the microchip information in the dog was never changed? It's still registered to Mutts and Moms, the adoption organization. [TMZ]
  
• Meanwhile, the owners of Mutts and Moms have received voice mail and email threats of death and arson. But they refuse to be "bullied around." They have a rule that families with children under 14 are not allowed to adopt small dogs, and Ellen's hairdresser's daughters are 11 and 12. [CBS News]

• The LAPD is investigating Orlando Bloom's car crash last week — the woman in the back seat suffered a fractured neck. Orlando says an SUV with paparazzi cut him off, but he was never given a field sobriety test. Uh-oh! Are we gonna have to call him Orlando Booze? [TMZ]
• Today's Britney news: She was photographed wearing a jacket emblazoned with the words "Fuck Off Lover Boy." Are you beginning to suspect she has no internal monologue? [Daily Mail]
• Former *NSync member Lance Bass came out to Britney Spears before he told many of his other friends he was gay... The night of her first wedding. They haven't spoken since. [Page Six]
• Halle Berry is planning on eco-friendly diapers and an organic nursery. [People]
• Jon Voight, who his estranged from children Angelina Jolie and James Haven, issued a statement telling his kids he loves them. Sigh. [People]
• Francis Ford Coppola thinks Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino are all rich and lazy now. [Rush & Molloy]
• Gabrielle Union has a girlcrush on Eva Mendes. Someone should put them in a movie together! We would watch! [Rush & Molloy, 2nd item]
• Kate Hudson went to her 10-year high school reunion in Santa Monica and mingled with the plebes. [ONTD]
• American Idol alum Fantasia, in a bikini, just because. [The.Life Files]
• The chapel where Elizabeth Hurley's union to husband Arun Nayar was blessed didn't charge the couple the usual £1,000 to meet costs — assuming that a larger donation would be made later. So far they've gotten nothing. The couple is supposedly planning to donate cushions to kneel on but the parish treasurer says they'd rather have cash, they have bills to pay. Jesus. [The Independent]
• Kate Moss recently partied with Naomi Campbell until 5 a.m. Just like old times! [The Sun]
• Paris Hilton has dumped Swedish tourist slash model Alex Vaggo, maybe because he is too shy. Although not too shy to pose shirtless for last week's Life & Style. He looked good, btw. [The Sun]