• Just what you always wanted: Heidi Montag has posed for the September issue of Playboy:

• The National Enquirer claims that Mel Gibson sat his kids down and informed them that his Russian girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is pregnant with his child, and they aren't too happy about it.

• Kiefer Sutherland surrendered to police yesterday for headbutting designer Jack McCollough. He was arrested and charged with a third-degree assault charge. He was photographed and fingerprinted. Then he left. [People]

• Matt Lauer flipped over the handlebars of his bicycle this weekend when a deer ran in front of him. Meredith Viera thought this was hilarious, but Lauer needs surgery for a separated shoulder. [Entertainment Tonight]

• Misdemeanor charges against Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright related to a bar fight last summer have been dropped, and video of police using pepper spray and tasers on the actors has been leaked. [AP, TMZ]

• Did a knock down, drag out fight with Lilo land Samantha Ronson in the hospital for "exhaustion"?

• ...Just like Lance Armstrong, Hitler, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the other dudes with a single testicle.
• But as far as we know, those dudes have bellybuttons, unlike Karolina Kurkova, the no-navel icon.
• She may have a navel, but Lori Drew has no soul.
• Michelle Obama has a soul and, according to an obsessed Salon scribe, …

• Tara Reid looks like she has no longer been ridden hard and put away wet! The former winner of Miss Hot Mess 2002-2007 is dating fashion executive Julien Jarmoune and apparently fending off marriage rumors. A pal of the couple says, "It looks like she's finally gotten her act together!" [E! Online, AHN]
• Someone who…

• Lindsay Lohan has turned down a $700,000 offer to pose topless in Playboy. Since we already saw her nipples in New York magazine, what would be the point? [Page Six]
• Meanwhile, there's a truce in the Lohan fam: Michael is actually saying nice things about Dina! And mom, dad and all the kids will allegedly all be…

• Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong have broken up. After three months, "There was no drama or ugliness – They just decided to end things," says a source. "There is no hatred, just sadness." Surely Kate will find someone new in record time? She's good at that, right? [Us Magazine]
• This report says that Kate and Lance had…

Is Britney secretly seeing paparazzi Adnan Ghalib again? God we hope not, but he's been spotted inside her gated community recently. • Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong seem to be getting serious: they had lunch with Kate's mom, Goldie Hawn, yesterday. • Lindsay Lohan turned 22 today and instead of some of the birthday…

• Whoa. Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan are dunzo. She was supposed to star in his remake of Barbarella, but studio moguls wanted "a bigger star, a bigger name." Now the flick might have - wait for it - Jessica Alba as the lead. What a fucking mess. But yeah, the whole leaving your wife for the chick in your movie…

[New York, June 17. Image via Splash.]

• Matthew McConaughey went to Nicaragua to surf and ended up partying at a bar called the Iguana, standing on a table and screaming, "I've lost by flip-flops," after which he was seen "resting" in a ditch. Quoth Matt: "I'm STILL looking for my left flip-flop. So if anyone finds it floating around down there (it has…

Break out the baby wipes! Terrence Howard is planning to release his debut album, Terrence Howard – Me and the Band of Kings, on September 2. According to People one of the tracks, "Sanctuary," was inspired by "a coincidental meeting with Seal and Heidi Klum at a Hollywood party." Um…okay. • Lance Armstrong played coy…

• Ashlee Simpson wed Pete Wentz on Saturday at her parents' house in Encino, CA. Afterwards, she and guests partied at an Alice In Wonderland-themed reception. Sister Jessica was the maid of honor and brought Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. You know, Jessica had an Alice In Wonderland-themed birthday party on episode 9 of …

"Now That You're Gone" is the name of a song on Sheryl Crow's newest album. It's about a guy. Nearly a year following their last confrontation, she confesses to "shaking even talking about it again," according to the latest Rolling Stone. "I feel like I got his stink on me." Oooooooh, who's it about? Not telling till…